Tick Tick Ticking

…I wish to know how and why this just occured to you, please

Two years ago one of my cousins wanted to bring her wife to thanksgiving and Joe was all “ew no way” and Mamaw stood her ass up and said “Who the hell do you think you are, saying who is and isn’t welcome in my house? This ain’t your house- you get out! I say who is welcome and YOU is not welcome. Now SCAT!” while slapping at him and then sat back down and asked my cousin if her wife ate catfish. Joe tried to come back in and she popped the tennis balls off her walker and threw them at him until he left

No matter how old Mamaw gets, her hair is still solid black. She still hasn’t gone gray and she’s never once died her hair. Her kids all have heads full of gray hair, and my father- her grandson- is starting to go gray. Mamaw? Nothing. I swear she looks exactly the same as she did when I was a kid.

Gods above, your Mamaw would scare Cthulu into submission.

Mamaw would probably fish Cthulhu out of the sea and fry him up along with the catfish

hnnnngh, I’m trying to conduct global maritime trade, but I’m dummy thicc, and the clap of my hull plates keeps blocking the Suez Canal

it's easy to mock the concept of batman's secret identity and think it's ridiculous that nobody would realize that he's bruce wayne but if some lady suddenly showed up late at night dressed in full military grade kevlar and started fighting crime in los angeles i wouldn't look at that and think "ah it's kylie jenner"

"it's a bird, it's a plane, it's...anderson cooper?!"

People don’t even recognise tony hawk without the skateboard what do you expect

People don’t even recognize Tony Hawk WITH a skateboard, bless them.