hi !!!!!!!!!!!!

i love when you’re talking to someone who’s not from florida and you just casually mention a thing that only happens in Florida and it ruins their whole day

one time i was talking to some guy and he was like “haha how do yall get alligators in your backyard? do you not have fences?” and i had to inform him that gators can absolutely climb fences

I’d like to think that the “STOP 🛑” sign is also for the gators.

The gators don’t abide by our petty laws. They are…instigators.

new phobia just dropped

haters will see multi-talented queens and develop a phobia

kid told me today i’m “way too old to not have a girlfriend by now”. i’m like i know but hey

crucially this conversation ended with her saying “what if you never get a girlfriend but you get old and die and then the grave next to you is a girl and then your spirits make out in the cemetery” and i had to be like “ok let’s talk about something else” instead of “that would be sick as hell i would love to be a ghost making out in the cemetery”