charlotte

on peter parker's first day at his junior year internship for oscorp, he knew his life would change forever — he was just wrong about how.

he'd dreamed of this opportunity since high school, being able to work in an actual lab and have access to world-class equipment and the one-of-a-kind minds that came with it.

the one-of-a-kind mind that came with it.

peter met you thirty minutes into the onboarding presentation, and he suddenly didn't understand how he'd gone twenty-one years without you in his life. from the first time he was graced with your contagious smile, he was determined to have it as a guiding light through the rest of his days.

he'd never admit it, but that was the day peter started to believe in love at first sight.

you were leading the group on a tour through the facility, going over the expectations and rules, covering everything the internship would entail. he might have imagined it, wished a bit to hard for it, but he swore your eyes caught his more than anyone else's in the group. his jaw ached from the hour-long straight smile he couldn't seem to knock as your melodic voice blessed his ears. fire safety had never sounded so sweet.

an hour and a half in, you broke the large bunch off into their designated teams for the semester, and peter felt his heart nearly leap out of his chest as he saw you approaching his group.

"hey guys! i know you just heard me drone on for a lifetime, but i wanted to reintroduce myself. i'm (y/f/n) (y/l/n), but please, just call me (y/n). i'll be leading you guys as we work on the robotics portion of the project. i look forward to getting to know everyone on my team." you greeted everyone with your heart-stopping smile once again.

my team. not only was peter lucky enough to be graced with your presence on day one, but he'd get to see you five days a week. he was pretty sure this made up for every horrible thing that'd ever happened to him.

"let's take a quick break before starting, yeah? i need a snack before your first impression of me is while hangry." everyone gave a polite laugh, breaking off in separate directions.

you immediately turned to peter, walking his way. "hey,"

okay, he was definitely sure this made up for everything that'd happened to him.

"you're peter parker, right?"

maybe everything that ever will happen to him, too.

"yeah! yeah, that's me. how'd you know?" he gave you a shy smile, trying to not get too lost in your eyes. they were vibrant and speckled, something he was close enough to know now.

your returned smile was filled with much more confidence than his. "i remember your application. you're pretty impressive, parker."

peter was a blushing mess in seconds at your compliment. "oh yeah?"

"oh yeah. i had to make sure you were on my team as soon as i reviewed it." the smirk on your lips was unmistakable.

there was only a nervous laugh in response, a hand scratching at the back of his neck as peter's gaze dipped to the floor. he hoped it passed as humility, rather than giving away just how flustered he was.

"i'm headed to the cafeteria to grab a smoothie quick, wanna grab a bite with me?"

peter's eyes shot back up to meet yours, wide and pupils blown. there's no way you were talking to him right now, no way you remembered him from his impressive application, and no way you'd invited him to hang out (albeit for ten minutes) within two hours of meeting.

your confidence faded a bit as you read into peter's hesitance. "it's totally cool if not! if you'd rather settle in, get to know the lab—"

"no!" peter interjected far too loudly. "sorry, i-i mean, no! i'd love to join. how's the food here?"

your lips curled into a smirk, and once again, peter was in a puddle at your feet.

"not nearly as good as it could be for a multi-billion dollar company."

it may have only been ten minutes, but peter memorized everything he could about you in those ten minutes.

you liked starwberries, he noted from your smoothie choice, and you'd been at oscorp for a little over a year now. you'd started in his spot your sophomore year, an impressive feat to genius peter parker. that was the first thing he learned about you: just how wickedly smart you were. it wasn't often he felt like he'd met his match, someone he was excited to bounce his ideas off of, and it being you made him far more into this internship than he'd previously been.

but honestly, he'd be lying calling it the first. the first thing he learned from his ten minutes walking at your side was how incredibly gorgeous you were. not that it mattered; your intellect and ability to command a room already had him entranced, but holy shit. he didn't know someone could make a lab coat look so irresistible.

everything about you had peter smitten, damn near having to catch drool from his lips. the way your hair framed your face and bounced as you walked, the way your perfume danced inside his nose and filled him with memories yet to come. your downright essence was beautiful, and peter was starting to understand the sheer power aphrodite had over others.

he didn't get much time with you the rest of the evening as you led the introduction to the team, outlining the robotics project for the semester, but being in your presence was enough.

and as he packed his bag to leave and you slipped him your number 'for research purposes', he was already counting the minutes down till 4pm tomorrow.

your smile tormented his dreams the entire night.

actually, your smile tormented him the rest of the week, and he presumed it would for the next few months. truthfully, he hoped it would forever.

peter didn't get to talk to you much as your project started, but he savored the exchanged smirks and glances that came his way. he tried not to work himself up, begging his mind to not read into things too early. but every time he looked up from his paper to catch you already meeting his gaze, every time you came out of your way to say hi to him and check in on his work, peter felt himself getting further and further lost in you.

he started to come up with any excuse he could think of to talk to you, to earn a smile from you that could cure any ailment he had that day.

peter began to surprise you with a smoothie before each shift, strawberry tart, just like the first time. not only was it a reason to be in early, to talk to you until the last second before getting to work, but it freed up your breaks. the breaks you gave more often than any of the other team leads, he'd learned, your care for your team shining through in the way you taught and in the ways you didn't.

that was the next thing peter learned about you: your altruistic sense of others. you put everyone around you first, caring for people you'd known for less than two weeks as though you'd been best friends for years. couldn't make a shift because of work? you understood, new york was an expensive place to live. make a mistake on a task? no worries, you'd help error-correct and walk them through hands-on the right way to carry it out. everything you did was laced in honey, a sweetness oozing from you that nearly made peter sick to his stomach.

nearly.

peter's infatuation with you was on an exponential course, and the closer you grew, the more he couldn't help but fall for you. and the more times he caught your lingering glances, the way you started to return his smoothie favors with his favorite coffee order he'd mentioned in passing, the more his confidence in his affection grew.

it was 9pm on a tuesday night in the third week of peter's internship as the robotics team filtered out of the lab around him for the evening. they'd been wrapping up a busy and overwhelming shift as you prepared a prototype that would be reviewed by norman osborne himself. peter packed slowly as he always did, hoping to be last out and catch even a few more minutes with you.

he approached your desk at the front of the room, both hands tugging at his backpack straps as he closed in. you looked up from your work, a tired smile hanging from your lips.

"hey parker, good work today. as always," you added quickly. a blush crept to peter's cheeks just as fast.

"yeah, you too. are you almost done? i'm happy to walk you out."

you let out a frustrated groan, red eyes drifting back to your computer screen. "no, honestly. amadeus hasn't been in at all this week, so i'm trying to cover his portion before we turn everything in."

before you could even think to protest, peter had his backpack off and a chair pulled up to your desk. "here, let me help."

"peter, it's okay. it's already really late, and i know you have an early lecture in the morning. i can't ask that of you."

you remembering his class schedule had him dizzy, but he shook it off and gave you a soft smirk. "good thing you didn't ask, then."

that night set a different tone for peter. it was the first time he'd spent more than fifteen minutes alone with you, and despite being there to do someone else's work, he relished every single second of it.

he was nervous at first, his chair pulled so close he could feel your knee brush against his every now and then, your hands touching as you reached for the same tool. despite his anxiety, as the hours passed (unbeknownst to either of you), peter felt nothing but relaxed in your presence. he grew to know you more, the you that wasn't presenting to a room full of people, and he didn't know it was possible to fall even more in love than he already was. everything about you was so genuine, and when he talked to you, it felt like he'd known you for years.

it was nearly midnight as you put the finishing touches to the project, shoulders slumping in relief as you let out a breathy laugh.

"holy shit, i can't believe we did it."

peter smiled at you, leaning back in his chair to stretch out. "told you it wouldn't be that bad, (y/l/n). teamwork makes the dream work, right?"

you met his gaze with grateful eyes. "peter, i owe you my life. or at bare minimum the last three hours of your life back. you really didn't have to stay, i can't tell you how much it meant to me that you did."

he sat up, leaning towards you slightly. "nah, don't worry about it. anything to be teacher's pet," he nudged your elbow, earning a laugh that sent an ache through his chest.

"trust me, i'll do anything for you. i'll write you a reference so profound it'll be damn near biblical text."

it was peter's turn to laugh, standing to gather his belongings and pack his bag for the second time that evening. "come on, now i really gotta walk you out of here. i don't trust you alone in a parking garage at nine, let alone goddamn midnight."

you followed suit and grabbed your stuff, logging off of your desktop with a groan. "god midnight, i'm so sorry. you have to be at an analytical chemistry lecture in six hours. i did not deserve your help tonight."

he responded with a scoff. "come on, like i was gonna go to that anyway."

peter held the door for you as the two of you made your way through the empty and dark oscorp tower, tired conversations illuminated only by the faint red glow of the security lights. as you finally made your way into the parking garage and approached your car, you turned to peter with a smile that had him awake again instantly.

"thank you again. i really couldn't have done it without you."

"trust me, i'll do anything for you." he echoed your words from earlier, and had he blinked, peter would've missed the blush on your cheeks.

you unlocked your car to set your bags in the backseat, shutting the door to face him once more.

"well regardless, thank you. not many people would," you reached out while talking to grab his arm and give it a soft squeeze, so quick he almost didn't catch it. he did, though, and his entire body went up in flames at your touch.

"i'll catch you tomorrow, okay?" you gave a soft chuckle as you reached for your door handle. "that's if my boyfriend doesn't kill me for getting home this late. sleep well, pete."

you got into your car, and peter waved you off as though his entire world wasn't crumbling down around him.

holy shit. did she just say boyfriend?

peter didn't get a lick of sleep that night.

he racked his brain for any possible sign he could've missed, any possible indication that you were in a relationship. but he couldn't come up with anything. you hadn't mentioned him before this, and peter was beating himself up for falling this hard for someone he'd known for barely a month.

he replayed all of his memories with you, every time he thought you were flirting or going out of your way to think of him. he felt defeated, and though it wasn't like he was actively trying to pursue you, knowing the avenue was closed and he'd gotten this attached was crushing. god he was embarrassing. how was he supposed to look at you without it tearing him to shreds?

but something hurt worse than the thought of not having you in that way: not having you at all.

whether he meant for it to or not, your presence had become a healing force in his life, your smile a beacon he turned to after a hard day, shitty patrol, anything. facing you was the last thing he wanted, but the one thing he needed.

so he pretended like nothing was wrong — because nothing was. his feelings were unrequited, and that was absolutely fine! you hadn't done anything to wrong him, unknowing you'd even hurt him. so why did he still have to pretend?

peter was in love with you, and he had to push it down. keep things civil, keep things above the belt. and it wasn't hard — he wanted to. he loved spending time with you. so as the weeks passed, he did.

peter kept bringing you smoothies, walking you to your car each night. he even asked about your boyfriend, occasionally, though any story you mentioned physically hurt his chest. and you kept being you. unabashedly considerate of him and an ever-present source of light.

it grew even more tumultuous in peter's brain each time you brought up your boyfriend, more specifically, what you talked about. sometimes they were nice stories, a date you'd gone on recently, or the explanation of an inside joke you couldn't get out of your head. but as time passed, it grew bittersweet. you told stories of fights you'd had, asking peter's opinion. times you thought you'd deserved better, how you wished you weren't scolded for being so passionate about your work. he tried to stay neutral about it, tried to respond how any other friend would.

but he wasn't any other friend, and he was definitely biased. peter didn't understand how anyone could treat you less than a princess, less than the angel on earth you were. how they didn't see all the hard work and late nights you'd put into literally inventing something and building it by hand. but he played it cool, staying inconspicuously on your side and keeping you happy. because that's all he ever wanted to do: make you happy.

he needed to stop, to slow down his time with you; he knew that. but you were gravitational, and peter couldn't help it. he knew the consequences of getting to know you more, of spending more time with you, but the benefits outweighed every. single. time. he started staying late to help you more often, spending more time shamelessly up front with you while working on the project as people broke off into their own groups. you were only a year older than him, but something about the whole "teacher's pet" of it all made it... exciting, to say the least.

that was another thing peter had noticed as time passed: not being able to like you made him incredibly turned on by you.

he felt entirely guilty about it, fantasizing about his coworker, let alone his team lead, who actively vouched for his application. he felt guilty as he watched you lean over others' desks during lab, shifting his stool closer to his own to cover his growing problem as he stared at you. he felt guilty each time you laughed and leaned a little too close to him, the scent of your perfuming driving him crazy and flooding his mind with downright sinful images of the two of you. he felt guily for how hungry he was for you.

peter felt guilty as he lay on his bed each night, hand down his boxers as he palmed himself to the thought of you. how he pictured you on top of him, your hands all over his chest as you rode him so perfectly, your name a prayer on his lips. he felt guilty as he moaned your name, an echo around his bedroom as he came undone night after night.

peter was absolutely fucked.

everything was fine and managable until a friday night, seven weeks into the program. peter had stayed late to help wrap everything up again before a deadline, the clock showing a wide-awake eleven pm as your voice flooded through the room.

"i'm serious! my tongue was bleeding. how do you mess up a kiss that badly?"

peter nearly doubled over, holding his side stitch as he harmoized with your laugh. "that's fucking insane."

"i know right?" you wiped away a tear, a sigh falling from your lips as you leaned back in your chair. "what about you peter? truth or dare?"

he thought about it for a second and then gave a shrug, "truth."

you pondered with an exaggerated thinking face. then a smirk. "what about you? tell me something wacky about your sex life."

peter felt all the blood rush from his face. "w-what?"

"come on, parker. i think you're hiding a lot from me. tell me something crazy you've done. and don't skimp on me here."

he sat for a moment, knee bouncing as he fought through the wave of his own thoughts. you bringing up sex in general was one thing, but flat out asking him about it was another. he had no idea how to look you in the eye while talking to you, or how to do it without getting painfully hard. your patient doe eyes were so not helping him.

"uhh... i-i guess..." peter nervously looked back at you, darting between your gaze and your lips. fuck, why did he do that?

"i don't know. my freshman year of college, the girl i was dating was... a little too into cats. i won't get too into it, but let's just say when i say i'll try anything once, unfortunately, i have a history of meaning it."

peter stared into your wide eyes and cursed himself, cringing and regretful that he'd taken it too far. but then he heard your laugh, the way you hiccupped when you couldn't break any longer, and everything felt safe again. you made everything feel safe, even as he said the most embarrassing thing he could have. fuck, he was so screwed.

"honestly, peter? that's kind of endearing. most men complain about eating you out, let alone going as far as indulging in your kinks."

peter's mouth went dry. "m- wait, what?"

you said it again, as though it were common sense. "i haven't been with a single man that didn't at bare minimum throw a fit about going down on me, some even flat out said no. called it disgusting. as if i can't tell they haven't showered in far too long while i'm down there."

he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "i'm sorry, you're saying men don't want to go down on you? but your boyfriend obvi—"

you gave a pained laugh. "you'd think, right? tried it once and told me he thought it was gross. happy birthday to me."

peter didn't know if the ringing in his ears was from how hard he was at the thought of eating you out, or from the sheer rage that was coursing through his veins. "i'm sorry to overstep, but that's bullshit."

you laughed at him, nodding in agreement. "yeah, you're telling me. don't get me started, that is not a fight i want to relive."

peter gave you a frown before you continued, "speaking of, it's getting pretty late. gonna hear a mouth-full when i get home, sheesh. thank you, again. for staying, i mean. you're always so helpful, peter."

he gave you an unconvinced look, speaking up before he could stop himself. "why do you keep saying that? that he's going to yell at you for being out late. i mean, he knows your working, right? we're working on some pretty cool shit here, i guess i thought he'd be proud."

there was a look on your face peter hadn't seen before. it was solemn, one he couldn't quite decipher. you matched it with a soft chuckle. "you can't say things like that, peter. make me think that i deserve better."

"you do, you know."

you gave him a faint smile. "come on, walk me out, will you? i have more questions — i need to live vicariously through you on this whole 'going down on a woman' topic."

holy shit, peter was so irrevocably, unimaginably fucked.

peter spent the rest of his night imagining what it would be like to taste you. to feel you under his tongue, writhing around for him. he couldn't imagine anyone denying you such a pleasure; it was a disservice to you, honestly. to themselves. because if there was anything peter would bet on, it would be that you tasted as sweet as your honey-laced personality.

after a grueling two months under your spell, peter had to outsource some opinions on the situation, and whether or not he should quit the program and remove himself from you entirely. he reached out to mj first, not expecting her response.

"peter, i think you should be a homewrecker."

"w-what?! that is not what i was getting at!"

"i know, i'm getting there for you. i say, this relationship sucks and you should make a move and win her over."

"mj, this isn't twilight, i can't just start a fucking love triangle in my oscorp internship. i wanted to know if i should quit or not."

"oh? yeah, i don't care about that. quit, don't quit, whatever. but you should definitely be a homewrecker."

"mj, i-i can't... i can't do that."

"can't you, though? don't you want to? just a little?"

she had him there. it wasn't like peter hadn't thought about it, completely blowing past all boundaries and making a move on you. but he wasn't crazy, and he wasn't an asshole. he wasn't going to be like all the shitty men you'd brought up.

but damn if he didn't want to.

no, peter parker was not a homewrecker.

right?

fuck, he needed some more opinions.

peter's conversation with mj hadn't gone as well as he wanted it to.

"peter, i think you should be a homewrecker."

that wasn't the reason he called, and it definitely wasn't a notion he was trying to entertain. after two months of torturing himself in your presence, peter thought it might be best to drop the internship. he didn't need it to graduate; it was more of a hobby for him. truthfully, he hoped he'd be able to sneak away unnoticed every day, able to work on his own inventions and mass-produce some web fluid.

but then you happened, and his entire life flipped upside down. you'd consumed his every waking and unwaking thought, and being around you was becoming unbearable. he didn't want to leave you, to never get the chance to see you again. actually, that was the last thing he wanted, but it seemed to be his only option.

peter, i think you should be a homewrecker.

no! what?! why was he even thinking about it this much? he was better than that; he knew better than that. but every day he saw you, every time he thought about seeing you... he kind of didn't want to be better than that.

fuck, he needed to call ned.

"yeah, that's really tough, buddy. i don't think you should quit, i mean, this seems like a really good opportunity for you!"

peter sighed at ned's response, aimlessly nodding against the phone.

"on the other hand, i would've dropped off the face of the earth two weeks in. i think you're kind of screwed either way, dude."

"right?" his voice was laced with frustration. "fuck, i don't know what to do..." peter trailed off, hesitant to ask his next question.

"uh... mj, she... she made a stupid joke, told me i should be... a homewrecker. that's completely stupid, right?"

the silence on the other line was deafening.

"holy shit ned, say something. anything, please."

"sorry, sorry! i'm thinking."

"so heavily? is it not completely stupid??"

ned made gave a thoughtful hum into the receiver. "i don't know. her boyfriend sounds really shitty from what i've gathered."

"that does not justify me being a homewrecker."

"it doesn't not justify it. you're always such a goodie two-shoes, dude. maybe it could be fun to do something stupid."

maybe it could be fun to do something stupid.

no, fuck!

"ned! you were supposed to be the voice of reason!"

"maybe i am being the voice of reason."

peter gave a frustrated groan, even more lost than he was five minutes ago. "fuck you guys, i'm calling nico."

he didn't even bother with his initial question this time around. as soon as nico picked up, he immediately answered with the question he really wanted to ask: should i be a homewrecker?

"parker, what the fuck? is this about (y/n)?"

needless to say, nico was not as supportive as the other two. she was against it immediately, going on a long rant about infidelity and it's correlation to the women's rights movement. he tried to listen, he really did, but he couldn't stop his mind from all the racing thoughts, all the possibilities with the new option he'd been presented with.

"peter, are you even listening?"

"y-yeah, sorry nico. i mean, honestly, i'm sorry, women. i-i just... i don't know what to do. i can't stand being around her much longer, it just... hurts."

peter heard her soft sigh on the other end, matching his own. "i know, i get it. but that's not how you want a relationship to start."

she was right, and he knew it. that isn't how he wanted things to play out with you. you deserved better. that was peter's entire point in all of this: that you deserve better.

but he could give you better. everything he did would be better than the jerk you were dating. and the more peter thought about it, the more he started to rework his thoughts. entirely accidentally. yeah, ambushing you with his feelings was not what you deserved. but the passion of it? the raw, unfiltered emotion? that's what you deserved. to know just how wanted you are.

fuck, he was so screwed.

peter gave it a few days, doing his best to distance himself from you and take a step back. he felt good, at first, as the project was rapidly approaching a major checkpoint, and he was able to dive in fully on his work. but his resolve faded by the end of the second day as you approached him after the shift was up, bag in hand and confidence-melting smile on your lips.

"hey, pete. i missed you yesterday, you ran out pretty quick. everything okay?"

fuck, did she have to be so nice and caring about his wellbeing?

he willed his eyes to stay focused on the bag he was packing, knowing he'd lose it the second he met your gaze. "uh, yeah. fine. just had to get home."

peter hated how short he was being with you. he could see it on your face as he flickered his gaze up, features contorted into confusion and a glimmer of hurt flashing across your face at his half-assed response. what the fuck was he doing, anyway? this definitely isn't what you deserved, to be brushed off when you did nothing wrong.

he looked up to reach your eyes, to actually hold eye contact this time, a soft sigh escaping his lips. "i'm sorry. i just had something to deal with, that's all. i'm okay, thank you for checking in."

peter saw your shoulder visibly relax, and a smirk return to your lips once again. oh, fuck.

"good, i'm glad. i've gotten quite used to my nightly escorts, you know." you tossed him a wink.

fuck. he's so fucking fucked.

"do you have the time to walk me out tonight?"

fuck it. he had to do something. he had to say something, to tell you how he felt, and it was either going to be really awesome and the best thing that'd ever happened to him, or he was going to have to drop the internship and move cities. peter weighed the two outcomes heavily, chewing at the inside of his cheek.

"pete?" you noticed.

fuck, you can't call him that when he's trying to be good.

you reached forward, your fingers gently grazing his jaw in hopes of catching his attention, drawing his wandering gaze back to you. peter took a sharp inhale, his body rigid with restraint. his mind played tricks on him as he watched your eyes ghost over his lips, a shy smirk dancing on your own.

he tried to form the words, he really did. but there was only one thought on his mind.

fuck it. they have crime in the bronx, too. right?

peter grabbed the collar of your lab coat with possibly too much aggression, pulling you stumbling into him as he locked his lips on yours. he held his breath as he kissed you, though the action itself was nothing shy of breathtaking. he kissed you with such fervor, taking his (likely) only chance at this opportunity and not wasting a moment of it.

peter moaned against your lips the second he felt you kiss back.

the kiss was hungry, two months of pent-up emotion he'd fought to suppress bubbling over the surface and into you. he tangled his hands in your hair, his knees buckling at the soft sounds escaping your throat as he pulled you further into him, wanting to be as close to you as physically possible.

after he'd lost all the air from his lungs, peter reluctantly pulled back, panting and eyes blown wide. he stared at you, taking in your disheveled state as he noticed how pink and plump your lips had grown from the kiss, your entire face flushed as you fought for your own air.

peter took a step back, trying to catch any semblance of humility he had left.

"(y/n), i know i probably just fucked so much up. i know that, and i'm sorry. i'm so sorry, and i'll leave you alone from now on. i promise. i know you're in a relationship, and i've only known you for a few months, and i know i'm being insane, and now i'm rambling," peter gave a nervous chuckle, his hand scratching at the back of his neck as his gaze hit the ground.

"i'm not going to go on a rant about how you should pick me instead, about how much better i would be for you. but when you're mad at me for this — and rightfully so,

"don't forget that you kissed me back."

peter grabbed his bag quickly, giving you an awkward wave goodbye as he nearly sprinted out of the room, leaving you alone and utterly dumbfounded.

holy fucking shit.

peter didn't break his sprint until his feet hit the steps of his apartment building.

he ran inside, slamming his door shut behind him and dropping his backpack to the ground. peter's back hit the couch with a heavy thud, his arms splayed out to the sides.

he wanted to be upset with himself, he really did. and he should be. he shouldn't have put you in that position; it was unfair to you. he tried to ridicule himself, to feel any ounce of shame for his actions.

but all peter could think about was the lingering feeling of your lips on his.

his fingers traced where they once laid, a tingling sensation still heavy on his lips since he'd left oscorp over fifteen minutes ago. all peter could think about was how you tasted — your sharp, minty breath against his. he thought about your perfume, how good you smelled that close to him. everything about the kiss was intoxicating, and now he knew he definitely needed to quit the internship, because there was no way in hell he could see you without experiencing that kind of temptation again.

god, he should've listened to nico. sorry, women.

a sharp, rapid knock on his apartment door jolted him out of his thoughts, and peter shot up instantly.

either you were about to bitch slap him, or your boyfriend was. and either way, he deserved it.

he made his way to the door, steps heavy as he dragged his feet underneath him, not ready to face the consequences of his actions. really, peter didn't need to open the door. he could stay in here and hide forever, block your number, and move cities. yeah, that could be good. maybe if he just moved slow enough, he could make it back to the couch without—

"peter?" your voice called through the wooden door.

fuck.

"peter?"

fuck.

he's so fucked.

peter let out a pained sigh, shaky hand making its way to the door handle despite everything in his body screaming to run the other direction. he pushed it down, opening the door and ready to be told off, ready to face the consequences of his actions.

there you stood, cheeks flushed from the cool new york night, and slightly damp from the drizzle outside. you stared back at him with those big doe eyes that he could no longer meet without a pang of guilt in his chest.

peter gave you a crooked smile, the normal sparkle in his eyes now clouded with anxiety, "hey."

"hey."

the two of you stood in silence as your hearts each raced, still in the doorway as peter stared at you, anticipating your wrath.

"sorry, do you want to come in? y-you seem a bit wet, can i get you a new shirt?" he asked quietly, stepping to the side to let you into his apartment.

because that was peter. even though he knew you were here to cuss him out, he wanted to make sure you were comfortable first.

you turned to face him, and there was something about your expression he couldn't quite read. between that and your unexpected silence, peter was driving himself crazy.

"please, you have to say someth—"

"i broke up with him." you let out in a rushed exhale at the same time. your chest was heaving, the confession alone making you out of breath. peter flooded with a mixture of emotions, ranging from confusion, to pure guilt, to a glimmer of hope. he stared back at you, wide-eyed.

"what?"

you nodded. "two weeks ago."

"oh," peter blinked, eyebrows tight in confusion.

"you told me i deserved better," your eyes flickered down to his lips, just for a moment. "you were right." the words were hushed and shaky, like you still didn't quite believe yourself.

"oh," peter whispered back.

you nodded at him, taking a step towards peter and watching as warmth spread throughout his face. he cleared his throat and stood a little taller as you met toe to toe with him, his eyes heavy on your own.

"i did," you began softly, your voice dripping in honey as always. peter was already beginning to lose himself in your presence again. "kiss you back, i mean."

the unspoken staring contest was adding to the pulling tension in the room, a weight peter could feel growing on his chest.

"yeah," was all he could muster in response, dizzy at the thought of your sweet lips against his.

you moved even closer to him, close enough to hear his breath hitch as you ghosted your hand over his chest and trailed your way up to his collarbones peaking out of his oversized sweater.

"did you mean it?" your fingers were teasingly slow as they padded across his delicate skin. "that you could give me better?"

peter nodded fervently, not trusting the pitch of his own voice right now. you smirked at him, finally breaking eye contact to watch the way his lips parted as you looped your finger around his collar and pulled him into you, giggling as his nose bumped into yours.

"will you?"

that was peter's breaking point, a low and desperate moan escaping from his throat as he grabbed the sides of your face and crashed into you. his lips were hot on yours as they were quick to devour you, breaking only to trail their way down your neck. peter found a sweet spot behind your ear, nipping at your soft skin and earning a gasp from you.

"every day."

you pulled back with a moan, locking eyes with him again. they were clouded with lust, but they were sincere. peter always meant every word he said, and it made your knees weak to hear such pretty ones come your way.

peter gave you a soft smirk before pulling you back in, kissing you harder than before. he was quick to slip his tongue into your mouth, exploring with his own as his hands began to make their way around your waist. they traveled lower, giving a firm squeeze to your hips before sliding them down the back of your jeans. he palmed your ass as he continued to swallow your every breath.

peter massaged what he could through your pants, making his way down to your lower thighs as he broke free from your lips and trailed his way back to behind your ear.

you gave a soft gasp as he nipped at your lobe. "jump."

you obeyed immediately, wrapping your legs around his hips as you took advantage of the new position and attacked the pale skin on his neck. he groaned and squeezed your ass again before heading down the hallway towards his bedroom. you couldn't keep still in his hold, his hands burning through your clothing. you writhed against him, moaning as your core made contact with his growing hard-on.

he set you down on his bed gently, letting you go to stand straight and pull off his sweater. he leaned down to kiss you, hard, as peter's fingers snaked their way under the hem of your shirt, fingertips dancing delicately on your stomach.

you got the message, tugging your shirt off and leaving you bare in the prettiest lace bra peter had ever seen.

"every part of you is so gorgeous," he moaned. "it's not fair."

he climbed over you and helped you lay back fully on his bed, his lips finding yours after a painful minute away from them. the way peter kissed you was hot and needy, but it was also so tender. you couldn't remember the last time you'd been kissed with so much emotion and passion.

you smiled into the kiss, infecting peter with the same dopey grin. he broke the kiss, making his way down your neck and trailing your collarbones with sloppy, wet kisses. he watched the goosebumps form under his touch as he made his way lower, kissing his way down the valley of your breasts. he moved one of his hands to tug at the lace cup, exposing your soft flesh to the cool air. it didn't take him long to have your hard nipple in his mouth, his tongue teasing you with every passing movement.

peter got lost in the noises you were making, only remembering himself as you tugged on his curls with an exceptionally loud moan. he let your nipple go with a sharp pop! and traveled his tongue down your stomach, chuckling at the way you writhed underneath him and your muscles tensed against his mouth.

"we don't have to do anything you don't want to do," peter said breathlessly as he looked up at you, lips swollen and pink. "but i'm dying to get my mouth on you. m'not above getting on my knees, right here and now, and beggin' to get a taste of you."

his words alone had you more turned on than you're sure you'd ever been.

but you maintained yourself, remembering what he was even asking for. "oh, peter. you don't have to do that."

peter let out a loud laugh, one seemingly at you. "have to? baby, i don't know how to tell you i need to."

you bucked your hips in response and gave him a bashful nod, giving him permission as he hooked his hands around your belt loops and slid the jeans and panties off your body in one swift motion. the cold air on your cunt sent a chill through your body, but it wasn't long until you were hot against peter's touch.

he spread his tongue flat and made his way through your messy folds as a string of profanities fell from your lips.

"fuck, peter," you breathed.

he looked up at you with a dopey smile hanging from his loose jaw. "yeah, baby? feel good?"

peter chuckled as you nodded frantically, leaning down to leave a light peck against your throbbing bundle of nerves. "good. god, you taste like fucking heaven, sweetheart. just like i knew you would."

you bucked your hips up with a whine, hitting him in the chin and earning a deep laugh from somewhere sinful in peter's chest. he ducked his head back down, getting to work as he attached his lips to your swollen clit.

you gave a sharp gasp as he sucked, pleasure blooming throughout your stomach and tunneling your vision. he brought his fingers up to tease your entrance, spreading you open as he increased his bruising pace on your clit. he groaned against you as you tugged at his hair, his name spilling from your lips as the vibration swelled the knot inside of you.

"that's it, baby," he groaned against you. "i want you to feel so fucking good. i want you to cum for me, please. i need you to cum on my face."

you let out a downright desperate whine at his words, grinding your hips up to match the movement of his mouth. his fingers found their way to your entrance again, and you were done for, the anticipation of him inside of you enough to send you over the edge.

the face you made when you came was the prettiest peter had seen you yet, and the noises you made didn't follow far behind. he was rutting himself against the bed as he rode you through your orgasm, lapping up every last drop of your arousal. he was a moaning mess against you, pulling back only once you gave his curls two sharp tugs.

peter sat up and stared at you in awe, taking in the sight of your flushed, bare figure on his bed. this was something he'd only ever dreamed about, and seeing you laid out before him, still panting his name as you came down from your high, sent a rush to his cock that made him twitch and groan. he climbed his way up you, trailing soft, wet kisses against your damp skin as he found your lips.

the kiss he gave you was the softest yet, and you melted under his touch as you tasted yourself on his lips. he didn't break contact as he tugged at his jeans, pulling them and his boxers down together.

peter laughed as he struggled to shake them off, only to be cut off with a deep groan as you reached down and grabbed him at the base. he was hot and heavy in your hand, the room echoing with a series of curse words falling from his lips. you tug at him slightly, gasping at how strained he was in your palm as he twitched against you. peter dipped his head down, panting in your ear as you pumped him a few times.

peter was in a dream; he was sure of it. there was no way you had your pretty little hand wrapped around him like this, begging for him to be inside of you. it was overwhelming, the sheer relief in the reality of it all. twenty minutes ago, he had apartments and jobs in the bronx pulled up, planning his new life in shame. and now, he was so high that he didn't even process your words as you told him that you were on birth control. he jerked his hips forward into your hand, swearing like a sailor as you began to line him up to your dripping entrance.

he canted forward slightly to catch you, moaning loudly as he sank slowly into you. it took everything in him to not finish on the spot as your walls fluttered around him, taking his time as he opened you up to him. you were so warm and wet.

"f-fuck, baby. baby, you're s'fucking tight," peter moaned in your ear. "you're taking me s'well. you're so perfect, fuck—"

you groaned at his praise, digging your nails into his shoulder. "pete, please move."

he chuckled, pulling almost all the way out of you. "anything you want, sweetheart."

peter began to fuck you, building speed until he found the exact pace that made you tremble underneath him. your string of moans was music to his ears, and the way you clenched tightly around him brought peter to what he could only assume was heaven. he leaned down to catch you in a kiss, reaching further down your body to hoist your legs higher, pounding deeper into you than before.

"god peter, don't stop. please," you moaned in his ear, voice cracking from the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your veins. "y-you feel even better than i imagined."

with that, peter was done for. he was so fucking done for hearing you admit you'd imagined how his cock would feel inside of you.

he pulled out, much to your dismay, taking his aching cock in his hand and pumping quickly, your name pleading on his tongue. he let out a grunt and a shaky exhale as he came all over, painting your clit and stomach with hot, thick ropes of his cum.

the feeling was dizzying — the pleasure you were getting from watching him finish over you knocked the wind out of your lungs. you panted as you watched peter scoot his way back down the bed.

"sorry, baby, promise m'not always so fast," he sat in between your legs, palming his way up your plush thighs. "i just can't tell you how much of a dream come true this is."

he positioned himself back down to eat you out with a smirk on his lips, and you were snapped out of your haze. "oh, peter! that's o-okay, you don't have— oh, fuck!"

you were cut off by your own gasp as peter began to lap up the mess he made between your legs. his tongue was everywhere, inside and out, cleaning up his own release off of you and moaning at the salty taste on his tongue.

the entire thing made you way too hot.

he groaned and pulled back to circle your clit with his index finger, looking up at you with a sloppy smirk on his wet lips.

"didn't want you thinkin' i forgot 'bout you," you threw your head back as he easily slid his middle finger inside of you.

"promised i could give you better," peter growled. "that's exactly what you're gonna to get, baby. come on, i want you to feel so good."

you moaned loudly as his lewd words only tightened the building knot inside of you. he added a second finger, and you were immediately on the edge, breathless as his pace was relentless.

"that's it, honey. fuck, you feel so perfect on my fingers. you're so perfect."

peter moved his head back down to attach his lips to your clit, fingers still pumping inside you at a bruising pace. his teeth nipped at your sensitive bud, and you were pushed over the edge, splashing out around his fingers and all over his face. you gasped as you felt the sensation, looking down at peter. he groaned against your cunt, only making your orgasm stronger and making you squirt harder on him. he lapped it up with a hunger, groaning into you one more time as he thrust into the mattress below him and came again against his stomach at your sweet taste on his tongue.

you pulled him up by his hair when you'd come down, out of breath and vision blurry. peter swung his head back, flicking his damp hair out of his eyes and looking up to see your exhausted figure above him.

"holy shit," you both whispered at the same time, earning tired laughs to fill the now quiet room.

you felt peter shift beside you, and suddenly he was gone. though, somehow, he was back just as fast with a wet, warm towel and an apple juice box. he handed the drink to you with a sloppy smile as he leaned down to clean you up, rough hands now gentle as ever with you. he was delicate on your skin as he cleaned the mixed arousal from you, tuned in to how sensitive you were now. he admired the bruises blooming around your thighs from where he gripped you.

peter moved to clean himself up, throwing the soiled towel in his laundry bin and grabbing two pairs of boxers and two of his sweatshirts. he tossed you one of each, a dopey smile on his lips the entire time.

he sat down on the bed with you again, clothes in hand as he stroked your messy hair, gazing at you with the same feeling he had in his chest the first time he ever saw you.

"listen, i know you just got out of a relationship," he started with a sheepish blush painting his cheeks. quite the stark difference to the peter in front of you five minutes ago.

"a-and if this was all you wanted, i can live with that. but i-i meant what i said. i'd really love the chance to show you better, every day."

you gave him a lopsided smile and shifted to climb onto his lap. even though you were both still naked, nothing about it was sexual. you gave him a hug, wrapping your arms around his neck and holding him close. in that moment, you swore it was the safest you'd ever felt. peter was thinking just the same thing.

"there's no way you're real, peter parker."

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan NEVER loses a staring contest. like, obviously because people get uncomfortable after a while, but what about the other boys who, as we know, don’t get uncomfortable that easily? well once jeongin said “watch this.” twenty three minutes later: “alright man this isn’t even funny anymore.” and chan blinked for the first time.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin is in his head lots, actually. doesn’t even notice when in an environment where he doesn’t have to act(so like around you or the boys), he’ll be left by himself and randomly mutter “yeah well fuck you too.” just into the air. you love him the same for it.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho is ALWAYS aware of where everyone is. like ask him where felix is(felix is used as the example because he’s unpredictable) and minho knows.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ jeongin has tried flirting with all seven of the boys “just to see.” the results, han giggled, chan ignored him, seungmin threatened him, changbin patted his shoulder and left him there, minho stared until jeongin backed off, felix said yes, hyunjin told him to shut the fuck up.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin never felt protective before you, only once, over a kitten he found on the street.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ if annoyed enough, chan could absolutely carry all of them at the same time. if the situation gives it!! he doesn’t know this, the others do.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ once han felt maternal for hyunjin sleeping so he pet hyunjin and hyunjin woke up and fast as lightning bit han’s arm. han screamed.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ han also has rich laugh in this universe, just like in our real one.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ when your only boyfriends were chan, changbin, seungmin and han(writing this currently as they’re the only boyfriends but fuck knows when will anyone read this, could be by the time the series is finished), you kissed all of them goodbye, like had them in a kinda line, and felix stood at the end of it, trying to sneak in. didn’t get a kiss, just seungmin jumping at him and strangling him while hyunjin was slapping his knee laughing :(

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho has appeared behind people so many times that nobody even screams anymore, it’s just “hey minho.” “hello.” now.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin hated cuddling before you.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ he’s also terrifyingly jealous of strangers who you interact with.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin’s sad little head tells him weird things to do, once he slept on the floor next to the empty couch. he doesn’t second guess what his gut tells him to do.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ anyone who gets into changbin’s car trusts him with their fucking life and they’re so right for it. that man drives so good.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ now that we’re at driving, when seungmin is alone in the car, he talks back to the gps, he entertains himself so good, he’s just a boy :( “turn left.” “shut the fuck up.” he says as he turns left. “recalculating.”“yeah, recalculate these nuts.”

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho sleeps so still, flat on his back and all, that felix checked for a pulse once. minho opened one eye, felix shouted in fear.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho also once got scared in his life and it was when he scared himself in the mirror.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ han’s favorite shape is a circle.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin watches you do the fucking less, shit like put your glass down while you’re manspreading like a fucking pig and with the proudest smile on his face he thinks “god she’s unbelievable.” changbin loves his girfriend.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin always has enough cash.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ before you jeongin got slapped by a woman at least once every week, now he only gets slapped by you every other week and sometimes, but significantly less, still by random other women.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin is the biggest beer enthusiast.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ grabbing han by the scruff like how we grab cats by the scruff works. like, he goes limp like a cat.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan has caught seungmin trying to secretly look prettier before seeing you. “what are you doing?” “nothing. mind your fucking business.” he’s all up in the mirror while saying that to chan.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho’s favorite utensils are spoons.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin saying he’ll only have one drink has been a statement never true.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ han thinks all horses are girls. someone asks “what about stallions?” and he says “those are boyfriend horses :)” to him horses are girly, in the good way. he likes women.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan started saying “for fuck’s sake” way more since meeting you, not because of you but because of how the boys started acting after you, atp his blood pressure has developed its own blood pressure.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin is like the grilling final boss.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ you trained it into han so hard that sometimes he says “love you” when hanging up on pizza places.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ none of them genuinely missed anything before meeting you.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan figured out he loved you first.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ he also sleeps really lightly, even if alone, even if with you, that’s an instinct that will never be shaken out of him.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ you make han fall asleep in a minute, any way you do it. from reading to him to just having a hand in his hair or on his back or butt or any body part, you’re there and baby’s asleep.(a fucking horrible man)

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ none of them had childhood dreams, when people ask “what did you want to be growing up?” they don’t have answers, they never imagined a future. you accidentally gave them one.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ once hyunjin had a mosquito on him. he stabbed the mosquito with a syringe. he also stabbed himself with it in the process and got some of the poison in his bloodstream, but the mosquito was dead and that’s what matters. changbin found hyunjin passed out.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they never experience nostalgia. deja vu yeah time to time, but never nostalgia.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin once wanted to be so close to you that he lifted the end of your shirt and like climbed in basically, so both of you wore the shirt at the same time, chest to chest. it was great, also fucking inconvenient because you had shit to do and he didn’t want to let you go.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ jeongin has not once in his life been 100% honest.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin’s handyman work is actually impressive, like better than you’d imagine changbin’s or chan’s or minho’s is.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they’ve always trusted each other with their lives. trusting each other with feelings was infinitely harder, but that came around slowly too after they started developing them for you. unconsciously realized that saying it out loud helps.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix is the only thing that can scare hyunjin absolutely. like yeah minho can give him little creeps from time to time but then hyunjin walks into a room, turns the light on and felix is already in there, hyunjin fucking drops a whole ass bottle from how scared he got. something in felix brings that out.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they all can have a creepy presence, actually do have it most time.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ you have become everyone’s answer to everything, they trust your judgment and ideas and woman instincts more than anything. “where’s my shirt?” “ask y/n.” “i think i have internal bleeding.” “tell her.” “i saw a weird bug.” “she’ll know.”

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they don’t understand how women’s mind work, that’s why it’s harder getting you, but it was always hard, even when seeing into their victims’ minds they worked better with killing men than women, because men were, naturally, more predictable to them.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin has dad reflexes. cup falls, catches it. knife falls, catches it. han falls, lets him.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin loves grocery shopping.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ thunderstorms absolutely reset minho, he prefers them over anything. (but you, not over you, of course)

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ once changbin spent three days not meeting you(obviously wanted to more than anything but hiding the bodies and running his business at the same time is not easy shit) and he was actually nauseous from missing you and longing for you. just clung to you when finally got to you too.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix drinks all soup. like hold the bowl chug it.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they never can keep their shirts on when it’s even a little bit warm in the room.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan, to get a kill or hide or framing done, can eat everything he doesn’t like, say anything he doesn’t actually agree with, act the arch opposite of himself without any problem, but if he’s forced to drink coffee he will gag that back. that shit will never go down his throat.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin always closes his eyes when you hug him.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ if chan says “don’t touch that” they immediately want to touch that. all of them.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin and han have raced to the front door because you said “first one gets a kiss.” seungmin only won because he stopped to choke han until han passed out.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan is impossible to prank, he notices everything always.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ if felix looks at an animal enough, he picks a trait up. like, unconsciously. he shook like a peacock once. stood like a flamingo. saw you pet a cat and purred too.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin was once thinking in bed before falling asleep, thought about you saying you’re disappointed in him(never happened yet) and it affected him so much and so sudden that he sat up leaned to the side and threw up. just from that, just like that.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ the gnab version of chan also exists here but only around you.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin only has fantasies about you. we’re not even talking just sexual fantasies, something as simple as the thought of you calling his name from another room is enough to make his heart drop and his tummy flip.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ jeongin lost his virginity at 16.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin always eats off your plate.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan has to kill anytime anyone touches his stuff, except you.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin loves pda in public, like yes he has a gf and he will show that off.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ each boy’s biggest weakness is you.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin and seungmin like cute things.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ nobody knows who taught han how to drive, there is an ongoing theory that nobody actually did.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho jerks off with his head tilted back.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ han LOVES those claw machines, even won a few times, actually!

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin can’t handle losing. losing in any sense, from rock paper scissors to hunting someone with the boys and one of the others get to the victim first, he’ll absolutely start destroying shit.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan still folds the laundry the exact way his mom taught him, didn’t change anything about the method.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin likes having his nipples sucked on, and like played with in general.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan is the typa guy who you mention something you liked from the shop, for an example juice, and he buys like twenty of it the next day.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin writes, small things like little poetry. (though maybe this was mentioned already???)

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin has a knife he calls princess.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they all think that if they don’t move, they can get out of under responsibilities.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin grew up in a smaller town. like i mean that tells a lot about his personality already.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ horses also like hyunjin

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin is the most aware of his balls. like that they’re there between his legs, most aware of them.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ when hyunjin goes into a room, sees something he doesn’t like, like a fucking DAD he goes “who left this here” and nobody has the bravery to answer.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin had a minipig at home once, but gave it to a guy he knew later, the pig ate too many human remains and changbin couldn’t stay home with him enough :( he liked the pig.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix had a cat when he was a teenager. no, nothing happened to the cat, is still well and alive, just at his parents’

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ let’s consider please that they’re not hairless in this universe because obviously there’s no company that requires them to be. from lil stubbles sometimes to chest hair, like hyunjin specifically has a little chest hair, chan’s arm is so perfectly hairy, whatnot.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin once won a piano competition, the trophy is still somewhere in a box, he hasn’t touched a piano since he was eighteen.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ not that hyunjin’s dad was absent, but not around a lot.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they think it’s cute how you like their smells.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix can’t remember huge parts of his teenager years.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin can and will break a person’s bone with one hand twist.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ jeongin is usually the distraction. felix is the sacrifice.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ like it literally happened once that they were planning a kill and when someone said something like “okay we need someone to be the bait” and like in cartoons they all shut up and slowly looked at felix(they’re FUCKING hilarious). or they just. throw him there when something goes wrong. they know he’ll survive anyway.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan’s favorite spot to hurt on a human is neck. any part of it, from front to side to back, it’s his fav.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho gets hard when he watches you sleep, you’ve woken up to him just staring at you with his hand down his pants more than once.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ when felix gets random boners, instead of making a move to initiate something sexual with you, he just looks at you with those big empty eyes like “help :)” until you notice him.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ han’s favorite way of killing is just tackling people and stabbing wildly until they stop moving.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin is like the fingering final boss.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ when a victim starts begging, jeongin just looks away, waits it out because it’s just so boring.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ one of changbin’s best memories is when he was driving and you fell asleep in the passenger seat for the first time since he knew you. he felt like a good man there, and being good doesn’t matter to them, that’s why it’s so significant. like aw he tried to kill you but you feel this safe

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ you’re not aware of this but you know each of them by their smells, you could recognize them from it instantly.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ jeongin and minho’s cats get along.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan loves the knowledge of, the feeling of life leaving under his hands. that gets him going more than anything.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix has exactly one freckle right in the middle of his right asscheek.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin can coo to, sweet talk someone he’s killing the same way he sweet talks you when fucking you. he did it before getting to know you, so it’s a habit that bled onto you, not from you.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ han is really impulsive, if chan and the others didn’t exist, he would have been caught years ago. like love quinn type of impulsive. but! despite being impulsive, he never ever leaves the others behind, if someone’s still back at a victim fucking around, han IS with him.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ following victims so much, they developed a patience unbelievably brutal. like could sit for half a day in place without doing anything.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ jeongin is a talker anywhere else, but barely speaks during anything sexual. only when someone talks to him first, he’s too in the feeling to form the thought of speaking.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they love eating after a kill.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix gets hard from killing. not the eating the victim part exactly, but when he takes a life with like a knife or just in any way general, point is takes a life, instant boner.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ leave lipstick marks on han’s dick please.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ you’re, obviously, not the only one they had done this chase and kill with, but the only one that survived.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho sometimes checks your pulse during sex. creepy little asshole. oh now that we’re at assholes, he loves anal stuff too.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they check on you lots randomly. like just come into the room, see you’re fine, leave.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they can’t apologize in words.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin likes to sit back and watch someone’s blood spray.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan, hyunjin and changbin are the professional bring you anything you ask for under a SECOND. like the others do what you ask too but they take a while to, they’re men, but chan, changbin and hyunjin immediately get tf up and get it for you.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin loves shopping with you.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ before knowing you they once just got a pacifier for felix and shoved it in his mouth whenever he wasn’t behaving. but he got addicted so they took it away from him :(

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin once broke every finger on both hands of a guy who touched your waist at a party (before you were dating). he did it one by one in the parking garage while the guy screamed, then he drove the guy to the hospital and dropped him off with a “get well soon.” why didn’t he kill him, you’d ask, because leaving them alive is making a joke of them, to the boys.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix sometimes stands in the corner by himself when scolded. like, nobody told him to. he just went.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ han is surprisingly sufficient when killing with his forehead???

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ you have a tiny, almost shy habit of saying “thank you” after a really good orgasm. they all just want to eat you up when you do that, you’re so cute.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin once made a guy dig his own grave while bleeding out from a dozen little cuts, everytime the guy slowed down seungmin would cut him again and say “faster, bitch.” when the guy finally collapsed seungmin just kicked him into the hole and filled it himself, whistling around.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they’re all ear licker freaks.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin is embarrassingly loud in bed.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho becomes your bitch when given physical touch to. cuddle with him and you can fold him in any direction, he’ll obey anything.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ “don’t look behind you” never works on them, they immediately look.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they, obviously, always call changbin to physically move things. car stuck? changbin. body too heavy? changbin. someone fell into a ditch? changbin. han climbed somewhere stupid again? …changbin.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin’s favorite hiding spot is simply… behind a tree.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ jeongin goes cross eyed when he has an orgasm.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan has the right to take weapons away from the others. “give me the knife.” “…” “jeongin.” “…” “yang jeongin.” “…fine.” “and the other one.” like a little brat, jeongin slaps multiple weapons into chan’s hand.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ despite being built like a skinny little bitch, felix does surprisingly well with the full nelson sex position.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ every single one of them has used the phrase “this is why we can’t have nice things.”

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho is the master of hiding. from under something to in an empty bathtub, he never gets found.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan has punched through exactly six doors.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin and felix grew up totally religious, hyunjin grew out of it, felix didn’t.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ when there’s a baby where they’re killing someone, one of them is always with the baby. not because morality, it’s just fun. bouncing the baby around, rocking them, patting their little back, usually jeongin or hyunjin, talking to the baby in a separate room. just again, not separate room because morality, they just want alone time with the baby. they like babies, all of them do except seungmin.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ yeah seungmin is not a fan of kids. they irritate him, actually.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ lot of murders ended with felix hanging upside down from somewhere, for some reason.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ and at one minho left halfway through to get ice cream. for himself. didn’t know you back then but if he did he would’ve brought you some back.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ changbin owns a pocketpussy, so does hyunjin, reminder they live together, neither knows that the other has one.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ seungmin’s sneakiness, quiet level depends entirely on his mood. good mood? ninja. bad mood? “fuck this.” and kicks door open

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they usually ask you to settle every debate.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ every time they split into pairs, everyone silently prays they don’t get assigned han. only minho is okay with it, he’s the only one who doesn’t have to rip his hair out from how dumb han is. like, they all like the guy, sure, but working with him is hard.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan is the only one who can watch you have sex with the others and actually resist joining in.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho can escape handcuffs, besides escaping from situations, he also uses that skill to scare you during sex. like, sweetly scare, of course, he doesn’t want to actually scare you. (always succeeds though)

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ they tried earpieces to work better together once, within seven minutes jeongin was singing, han was loudly making out with you, and felix swallowed his.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ chan has never had a phone case.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hyunjin can untangle anything, once you and changbin went to him to untangle the ropes changbin got for sex later, hyunjin was done with it in five minutes, watched you two have sex later. joined but got tied up next to changbin, yes changbin was the one tied up. and well, hyunjin too then, he didn’t untangle that one though, that he liked.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ dogs love jeongin and han. jeongin always matches their energy, han is just in awe and adores the dog.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ minho hates balloons.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ felix is really attracted to your neck but not aware of it. hyunjin also has a thing for it but he’s very aware of it.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ before knowing you, there was a kill when all of them almost died. it was early on before they really knew how to work together and decided to attack a bigger group, what even was their thought process here???, han got stabbed in the side almost fucking immediately, dipshit, jeongin took a bullet to the shoulder, seungmin got his leg slashed defending han, chan had three broken ribs, hyunjin got hit in the face so hard he could barely get up, minho took a knife to the gut, felix got shot in the arm (and still tried to eat someone’s face). changbin was the one who fucking saved them last second with a fucking pipe. han passed out from blood loss, chan held pressure to minho’s wound, the others laid around and accepted defeat. but changbin got the shit together in the last second!!

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ after knowing you, they would never be that reckless again.

author’s note: was i deep and mysterious with the last line.

“i’m telling you,” jeongin says, exhaling a slow stream of smoke, sitting on a log, smoking a cigarette, and it looks so hot on him. “there is something in the woods. a man. or the bigfoot. maybe the mothman.”

“oh fuck off.” chan says, grinning. he’s got his big manly shoulders hunched forward, elbows on his knees, staring into the flames. “pass the chips before i start eating pinecones, im serious.”

felix is half laying against a log, vape in hand, blowing out a cloud that smells like watermelon. hums a little. maybe in agreement? maybe in disagreement? maybe his dick hurts again because hours ago jeongin accidentally hit him in the crotch with a really big stick? who knows. he passes the chips to chan.

“this is nice.” changbin says, smiling at the fire. “we should do this more often.”

“we should survive this first.” han mumbles, glancing into the trees.

“relax.” hyunjin says. he reaches over, stealing felix’s vape and taking a slow hit. “what’s the worst that could happen?”

minho just shrugs, staring into the flames.

“serial killer.” jeongin says immediately.

“bear attack.” seungmin adds.

“haunted forest.” han throws in, increasingly stressed.

“you guys watch too many movies.” chan says.

none of them hear the distant, dull thud of something heavy being dragged across the ground.

changbin starts digging in a bag to calm the others down. “does anyone want—okay, no, don’t throw that—han, catch—”

han fumbles the bag of chips, nearly drops it, then clutches it. “i got it. i got it. we’re good.”

“we were not good for a second there.” seungmin says.

“yeah, that was a close one.” jeongin adds, deadpan, flicking ash onto the dirt.

they’re such boys. around the little fire they set up(chan set up because he insisted on it, average man) it’s already messy, they leave fucking trash around, they’re just horrible. men.

hyunjin hands the vape back without looking, eyes flicking toward the trees for a second.

“relax.” chan says, noticing. “there’s nothing out there.”

hyunjin hums, unconvinced but not arguing.

“except your mom.” felix giggles, taking his little vape back and taking a fat pull. then holds it out to han. “you want next? it’s basically salad in smoke form, healthy as shit.”

han is fidgeting, blanket around his shoulders. “i dunno man… what if a bear smells the vape and thinks we’re giant watermelons? i’m not dying for your lung cancer bro, no offense.”

the fire crackles. sparks drift up.

jeongin takes another drag, squinting into the woods. “still. would be kinda insane if someone was just… out there.”

seungmin snorts. “yeah, what, dragging a body or something?”

they laugh.

meanwhile, you stab the shovel into the ground. finally. the metal goes into the dirt, and you lean your weight into it, push down with your foot, then lift it back.

first scoop.

you toss it to the side.

second.

third.

dig, lift, throw. dig, lift, throw.

“i’m gonna piss.” hyunjin says, standing up.

“don’t fall in.” seungmin says.

“don’t get murdered.” jeongin adds, flicking his cigarette.

“do get murdered.” minho mutters.

“don’t come back.” felix says.

“don’t go too far.” chan calls after him.

hyunjin lifts a hand in a little “yeah yeah” gesture without looking back.

it’s darker away from the fire. obviously. but like, noticeably darker. he fumbles with his zipper, muttering under his breath about this and that and—his foot catches on something. he doesn’t even have time to process it before he’s falling forward, hands coming out too late, and he slams into the ground.

his knee hits first, then his palms, and something shifts under him. wrong. plastic… slippery?

not rock. not root.

he freezes.

there’s a second, just one, where he thinks, no, ignore that. stand up. pretend that didn’t happen.

then he looks down.

the shape under the shiny black plastic is… familiar to humans biologically. long. wrapped. the plastic catches what little light there is, and there’s something inside. something very clearly inside.

“…what the fuck.” he breathes. looks up. sees you a few feet away, shovel in hand, dirt disturbed at your feet, a shallow start of a hole behind you.

you’re both still for a while.

and hyunjin screams. not like a cool, composed, masculine shout, no a full fucking little girl scream as he scrambles backward, slipping again, hands digging into the dirt as he puts distance between you and… that.

god. he’s beautiful. on the ground where be belongs, hair a little messy, eyes wide as fuck, he’s stunning.

“wait, wait.” you say quickly. you shift the shovel slightly, angling it away.

“oh my god, oh my god, oooooh—” he’s half whispering, half yelling, hands coming up. “i—i didn’t—i didn’t see, i thought—what the fuck is that?”

you… stand there. shovel in hand. a girl. alone. with a shovel. and a big fucking bag. in the woods. great.

“i— are you—are you—” his eyes are so big, you haven’t felt attraction since… ever, but he’s a really pretty guy, you can admit that.

you let the shovel slip from your hands, meets the ground. now, your acting skills come in handy. your shoulders tense, then fold inward just slightly. you learned how to do this, how to angle your body into this, you learned the biology and psychology of this, why humans act like this when they’re about to cry and how they act. your breathing shifts, quicker now, uneven. you bring a hand up to your mouth.

“i didn’t mean to.” you say. it comes out quiet. really adorable. you take a tiny tiny step back, acting like you’re scared, guilty. fucking ACTIIIING. “i didn’t—i didn’t know what else to do.” you whimper out.

“what…?”

you shake your head quickly, like you can’t even get the words out properly, like this is all just too much. “he—” your voice catches, you let it. lean into it. “he was—he was my ex and he—he hit me and i—i just—” you stop, breath hitching. god, you’re such a good liar, y/n.

you don’t have to force the tears as much as you’d think. just, yknow, enough to blur your vision slightly, enough to make your eyes feel better.

crocodile tears.

they work. they always do.

his tense posture drops. his hands, which were held up to push himself away, hesitate. “wait, hey. hey, it’s okay—are you—are you okay?”

you shake your head. “i didn’t mean to kill him.” you whisper, acting like you can’t even look at what you’ve done. “i just—he wouldn’t stop and i— euugh…” you cut yourself off again, pressing your lips together, acting like you’re holding the just oh so cruel reality back from an innocent guy like he is. you ain’t holding shit back, this is just an act. you evil bitch.

“hey, hey—” he pushes himself up, cautious. “it’s okay, i’m not—i’m not gonna… just what happened? if you, want to tell me, of course—“

you shake your head, eyes darting like you’re panicking. “he wasn’t supposed to—i just—i… i just wanted him to leave me alone…”

his face scrunches up. there it is. god. men are so predictable it’s insulting.

you look down, wrapping your arms around yourself. “i didn’t know what to do. i just… i panicked.”

“are you… are you hurt?” hyunjin asks, stepping closer.

you hesitate. again, all an act. then shake your head. “i’m fine.” but it comes out weak, unconvincing on purpose.

he doesn’t buy it, well that’s the point so after all he does buy it. takes a cautious step closer, then another. the bag is next to his feet now. he avoids looking at it. that’s interesting.

“hey. it’s… okay, just calm down, alright?” he’s quieter, gentler.

he puts his hand on your arm. warm. feels good.

you look down at it, then up at him. his face is… open(you haven’t seen a face this open since you tried your new axe out, okay murder aside it is a really open boy face, not keeping anything back from you). worried. brows drawn together, so beautiful. so dumb. so trusting and naive because you’re pretty.

“did he… did he hurt you bad?”

you let out a shaky breath. nod.

bitch please. you’ve never had a boyfriend. never needed one. never wanted one.

“i didn’t know what else to do.” you whisper, acting ashamed of it, looking down so he can see the tears drop. ohhh you evil whore.

“hey. hey, look at me.”

you hesitate before you do, make him want it first. also big mistake on his part, wanting this. eye contact makes it easier for you.

“you did what you had to do.” he says. let’s note that hyunjin is an evil bitch, he’s a boy, a dumb heartbreaker. “okay? if he was hurting you, if you were in danger, then… then that’s not… that’s not your fault.”

you watch him, how he’s trying to fix this. to fix you. to make it something understandable, something easier for his normal human boy mind to swallow. he’s comforting himself more, kind of. it’s endearing.

“i was just going to bury him.” you say, glancing back at the half started hole. “and then just… leave. i’m so sorry.” you start actually crying at the last words. the actress ever.

he follows your gaze, then quickly looks back at you again, swallowing. “alone?”

you nod.

he looks so… protective. “you shouldn’t be out here alone. i mean—not like—you know what i mean.”

you just let more pretty little tears drop.

he takes a big breath. “you don’t— you don’t have to— i mean— shit.” he runs a hand through his hair, clearly scrambling. “okay, okay, we can— we can figure this out, alright? i’ve got friends, we’re just, we’re camping not far from here, we can—”

friends.

oh okay.

you shake your head quickly, eyes wide and big and face looking heartbroken. “no, no, i can’t, can’t, if anyone finds out—”

“they won’t. i mean, fuck, okay, maybe they will, but we can—we can help, okay? we’ll figure something out.”

we.

he’s already including you??? what a cutie!

“you won’t tell anyone?” you ask, pathetic.

he hesitates. good. that means he’s thinking.

“i…” he glances back toward where he came from, then back at you. “not if you don’t want me to.”

and there we go.

“thank you.” you whisper. another tear slips down.

“hyune?” another man’s voice.

hyunjin’s head snaps toward the sound so fast you almost hear it.

“where the fuck did you go? did bigfoot fuck you bro?” another voice, different tone.

there’s three of them. (chan, his posture tells that he knows something is off. seungmin just behind him, eyes narrowed slightly. nobody can see that, of course, it’s still dark. changbin behind the two.)

fuck. okay. you don’t move. neither does hyunjin.

for a bit, it’s just a weird little… situation. you, him, the shovel on the ground, the bag just out of their immediate line of sight because of the angle and the trees and pure luck.

chan looks at hyunjin. (hyune, as you know him now) “what’s up, bro?” then, he clocks the little body next to hyunjin. “oh shit. hi? you… lost out here, sweetheart?”

hyunjin looks at them, then at you.

you shake your head.

don’t.

“i’m—i’m fine.” you say, voice angelic, a little shaky still. all on purpose. you take a small step back, trying to create distance from all of them at once. acting so scared. “i just… i’d rather—if you could just leave me alone.” you’re thinking about which one you’d gut first if they push.

“hey, no one’s—” changbin starts gently.

“nah, it’s…” hyunjin cuts in, so fast, then clears his throat, trying to smooth it out. “it’s nothing. she’s, uh, she’s good.”

seungmin doesn’t say anything, you wouldn’t even know he’s here if you hadn’t heard him barking around about bigfoot fucking hyunjin. which is fucking hilarious but bursting out laughing would kinda throw your perfect performance off.

hyunjin forces a shit laugh out. son get yourself together. “i just scared her, i think. came outta nowhere.”

you drop your gaze. like yeah, some random guy stumbling out of the woods while you’re alone at night.

seungmin tilts his head, talks to you. “you sure? ‘cause if some dude’s out here fuckin’ with you—”

“no dude.” you say quick, eyes flicking to hyunjin. sorry, hyune. “he really did just scare me. i was on a walk.”

“yeah uh… she’s good. i checked. we’re all good. let’s head back, guys. fire’s probably dying.”

chan is watching you, trying to figure out if you’re a problem or if you have a problem. “you sure you’re good?” god. the tone. what a man.

“yeah. yeah, i’m fine.”

“hey.” changbin says, sweet because damn you cute. “it’s okay. we’re not— we’re not gonna bother you, alright? we’re just over there.” he gestures behind them. “if you need anything or whatever, you can come by. if you want. no pressure. yeah.”

something weird is… in you. okay, wait, fuck, you’ve never felt this before. people are meat. meat screams, meat bleeds, meat goes in bags. feelings are for other people, not you. these dumb fucks actually want you safe?? tf?? it’s disgusting. it’s ridiculous. it’s… good??

you nod again. “thank you.”

chan exhales through his nose, then jerks his head slightly back toward where they came from. “alright. we’ll leave you to it.” he looks at hyunjin. “come on.”

hyunjin hesitates again. god, he’s bad at this. “okay.”

changbin gives you one last small, reassuring smile, which you still can’t see btw, it’s so dark that you couldn’t make fucking bigfoot out even if he stood in front of your nose. or if he was fucking hyunjin. “seriously, though. don’t be afraid to come by, okay?”

“okay. thank you.”

seungmin scratches his head. “take care, alright?”

“okay. you too.”

they turn, slow, not so sure about the situation, if you’re really fine. start to leave.

hyunjin mouths “i got you” then turns, follows his boys.

chan claps him on the shoulder. makes him stumble. “you’re explaining this later, dipshit.”

seungmin mutters “fucking weirdo beating it to scared lonely girls” under his breath.

changbin waves.

their voices drift. fade. gone. silence again. just you. and the body.

he’s an idiot.

absolute fucking idiot.

you look down at your arm, where that idiot’s hand was. it’s nothing. obviously. just skin. just warmth that’s already gone because our skin doesn’t hold it, doesn’t need it.

you’ve never… you don’t… feelings aren’t really your thing. that’s kind of the whole thing. but something, something weird, small and cute and annoying stays in you now. so new. so upsetting.

you exhale. bend down, pick up the shovel. mutter “fuck.” quietly, more out of habit than anything.

and then you stab it back into the ground. because whatever that was, it doesn’t matter.

it doesn’t matter how nice they were. how helpful. it also doesn’t matter that you’re really thinking about them now. who was that friend of hyune that called you sweetheart? sounded cute. was built cute. had a cute face from what you could make out.

and make out you’d do with him. would even let him drive his big hands in your hair, guiding your head down, sitting back against a tree while you kneel between his thighs. you’d love to listen to him say “fuck, sweetheart, just like that.” you’d take him all the way into your little mouth, nose to his skin, let him feel how much you can handle, how good you can suck him off, make him lose that calmness he dealt with you with until he’s bucking around.

who was the other guy that was going on about bigfoot? he was hilarious. that deserves a blowjob too, you’d say. uhuh, yeaahhh, you’d have him standing, back to a tree, legs spread, hands fisted in your hair while you suck him sloppy, spit dripping down your chin. make him your bitch.

and you’d lay that third wide sweetheart down on a sleeping bag, soft licks on him first, teasing swirls around the head until he’s whimpering “please, baby, please” yeah you’d take him gentle then deep, then suck so hard he feels it in his balls, let him hold your hands and whatnot sweet shit these kinda men are into because damn he was an angel.

hyune, that’s what your boy’s name was? doesn’t suit him. might be a nickname. anyways. he deserves a reward for what he just pulled for you, that reward containing your tongue tracing every vein on his cock, sucking just the tip until he’s begging, pretty please, baby, let me cum, i’ll be good i’ll keep your secrets blablabla. you’d let him, swallow every drop, then lick him clean while he stares at you and also try really hard not to stare at the body bag.

yeah you’re lowk a perv.

but these creepy little fantasies keep you entertained while burying the body. which you just finished with btw. you smooth it out, kick some leaves over it, drag your foot across the surface until it looks like everything else.

like nothing ever happened.

like no one was ever here.

you stand there.

then you pick up the shovel.

and instead of leaving… you go towards where the boys disappeared towards.

oh this is stupid. you know it’s stupid. there is no practical reason to do this. none. zero. negative, even. this is how people get caught, this is how dumb people die, how multiple victims of yours died already. you go anyway. doesn’t take long to see the glow even, firelight flickering through the trees. voices, loud, boy.

you stop in a fair little distance, close enough to hear, far enough to not be seen. you lean lightly on a tree, paying attention so the shovel doesn’t hit anything and make noise, and you listen.

“…i’m telling you, she was not normal, bro.” seungmin is saying as you settle behind the tree a little.

“yeah, no shit she wasn’t normal, she was alone in the woods at night.” jeongin says. “that’s already like… step one of weird.”

“she wasn’t weird weird, she was just scared.” changbin says quickly.

“yeah.” hyunjin adds, so fast. oh he’s bad at this. “she was just scared.”

chan pokes at the fire with a stick. “scared of what? you?”

“probably.” seungmin says. “i mean, look at him. man walks outta the dark while you’re alone? i’d be like yeah, cool, this is how i die.”

“thank you.” hyunjin mutters. “fuckface.”

felix leans back on his hands, stretching his legs out. “was she cute, though?”

silence.

your mouth opens a bit.

oh.

“…yeah.” changbin says first, a little hesitant but honest.

oh?

“yeah.” seungmin agrees immediately. “like—yeah.”

oh???

“yeah, no, she was.” changbin says. “like really cute.”

“oh my god.” jeongin says, sitting up straighter. “what the fuck do you mean she was cute and you just left her out there?!”

“calm down.” chan says, shoving him lightly with his foot. “she wanted to be left alone.”

jeongin slaps chan’s foot away. “no girl actually wants to be left alone in the woods at night—”

“you’re creepy, dude.” minho mutters.

“i’m just saying—”

“no, you’re just being weird.”

hyunjin is sitting back where he was before(except you don’t know where he was before but whatevs), but he’s not relaxed. so tense. you can see it even from here, the way he keeps glancing toward the trees. you smile.

“you could have just dicked her down.” felix mutters, voice so deep now that it’s a longer sentence, omfg who is this you’re interested, even while his posture is ass.

“what was she even doing out there?” han asks, leaning forward, oh he looks like a little bug, hello little bug.

“walking, i guess. or just… needed space.” changbin says.

“yeah.” seungmin adds. “probably just wanted a walk alone and then hyunjin is in the woods. i’d run.”

hyunjin. what a name.

“man or bear.” felix says.

“what?” chan looks at him.

“it’s on tiktok, dude. would you rather run into a man or a bear in the woods.”

they’re so fucking dumb.

“bear? i’d fight the bear.” changbin mutters.

“fucking liar.” chan whispers.

“no, i’m serious. at least the bear’s predictable.”

jeongin does that boyish smile while raising your eyebrows thing. “predictably eating you.”

“eating you out.” felix giggles. ???

“still better odds than some random dude.” seungmin says.

“hey.” chan gestures at himself, offended. “i’m a random dude.”

“yeah and i fucking hate you.”

“i’m strong. i’d take a man in a fight.” han says.

“it’s a question for women, asshole.” minho mutters.

changbin nods. “yeah she was shaking like a leaf—“

jeongin gets up. “i’m gonna go say hi.”

“no you’re not.” chan says, grabbing the top of his jeans and yanking him back down.

“let me go—”

“sit the fuck down.” seungmin says, grabbing his arm too.

“there’s a hot girl in the woods—”

“and she asked to be left alone.” changbin says. he’s so cute.

“yeah, and i’m gonna respectfully not do that—”

“dude.” hyunjin mutters. it’s really firm. hot tbh.

that does it. jeongin flops back down. “assholes. missed opportunity.”

“she’ll come by if she wants to. we told her, right?” changbin reassures.

“yeah. she knows.”

“and if she doesn’t, then she doesn’t.” chan says. “leave it.”

“fine.” jeongin mutters, lighting another cigarette because he’s a dumb boy. “but if she does show up, i’m talking to her first.”

“no, you’re not.” seungmin says.

“yes, i am.”

“no, you’re—”

you watch them. they’re all cute. why are they all cute?

“did she say anything else?” chan asks, looking at hyunjin again. they seem like good friends. they fit together well as friends. so boys.

hyunjin hesitates. you watch him. “…not really. just… thanked us.”

he’s not perfect, but good enough.

“i just think it’s a missed connection. like we should’ve exchanged numbers or something.” jeongin says.

“yeah, because that wouldn’t be creepy at all.” minho says.

“hey, want my number while you’re clearly uncomfortable and trying to be alone?” chan says.

han laughs. “dude, i’m so hard right now.”

“yeah, bro.” seungmin says.

“yeeeeah.” felix daps him up.

“same.” jeongin says, smiling ear to ear. he’s beautiful.

“you’re disgusting.” changbin says, laughing that cute little babe laugh.

“what? you said she was cute.” han shrugs.

“that doesn’t—” changbin starts, then gives up halfway through, covering his face. “oh my god.”

“it’s a natural reaction.” han tells him.

“to what? a conversation?” minho asks quietly.

“to the idea.” han says.

“the idea.” seungmin repeats.

“yeah.”

“just don’t nut in your sleeping bag again like last camping trip.” felix mutters, then takes a hit from his little vape.

han stomps a little. such a hot babe. “that was one time. and it was your fault for describing your sister’s friend’s ass in detail.”

you physically have to press your lips together to not laugh. watch them but in that studying way of yours that you do so well, how they lean into each other, how they interrupt, talk over, laugh too loud. the way none of them seem… alone. that they’re friends.

annoying.

hyunjin kept your secret. for no reason. for you. dumb. all of them.

you bite your lip, thighs squeezing together because shit damn fuck this is hot. they think you’re the victim. you’re the bad one here, and they’re at the idea of saving you.

jeongin’s still throwing his pretty body around. that tank top looks good on him. “just let me go peek. i won’t even talk to her. i’ll just… admire from afar.“

chan rolls his eyes. sassy. like okay daddy. “no. she asked for space, we give it. end of story.”

shit. you enjoy listening to this.

okay tbh let him come. you’d let him chase you a little, make him work for it, then push him against a tree and drop to your knees like right there, suck him fast while he groans “fuck yes baby, knew you wanted it” while you hollow your cheeks and make him cum down your throat in under two minutes because he’s all talk.

that other guy next(han), you’d pull him away from the group, sit him on a fallen log, straddle his lap so slow and so teasing, grind while he’s whimpering “is this real?” yeah baby it is and you’d help with that boner situation real quick.

then the deep voiced guy(felix). you’d blow him while he’s still hitting that cancer maker, making him cough-laugh-moan, calling you babe while you swirl your tongue just right until he bucks and cums sofly(softly, he looks like a fucking twink) with a long “fuuuuck”

you’d kneel in front of that quiet(but real funny) one too(minho), look up through your lashes, take him so slow and so thorough, aaaaaall until he’s gripping your jaw to fuck it, cumming while shaking. from where you are, when he does get talkative, he’s hot.

but when minho does get talkative again, you leave. not because he finally spoke more, you’d love to listen, but because you have to fucking go.

they’ll never know how close you were.

how close you still are.

dumb boys.

you drive out there again at like 4am the next day, hike until you find their place again. it’s trashed, empty beer cans, just men littering. assholes. but the important part is the tire tracks. two vehicles. you follow one out to the main road, remember the direction they went off (toward the city, not the highway), then go home and start your little business.

you find jeongin in no time. in a club, specifically. dancing, cig somehow lit (how the fuck), hips not stopping, sweat making his shirt cling, sly grin everytime a girl grinds on him. someone tries to take the cigarette from his mouth. he dodges, grinning. “buy your own.” asshole. you follow him when he leaves at 3am with two friends. his apartment’s fifth floor.

next day you learn he bartends at a bar two streets over, y’know shaking cocktails, flirting with everyone, sneaking cig breaks in the alley where you’re hiding behind a dumpster eating fries. other option, you sit at the bar in a wig and fake glasses (cliche but effective), order a soda, watch him flirt, pour shots with flips, flip me like that too daddy, wink at girls while calling guys boss. he’s disgusting. perfect. you imagine sucking him off behind the bar while he tries to keep pouring. you leave before close.

he lives alone. parties every night. you watch from the roof across the street deadass through binoculars while he rails some random girl on his couch, then immediately texts his gc with the boys after. that’s about how much he cares about the girl. so not at all. jeongin, you beautiful slut, you’re perfect.

once you start, it’s… hard to stop. you already have one thread. might as well pull the rest.

changbin and hyunjin are roommates in a cute two bedroom loft above a coffee shop, big windows, have blinds but they forget to close most of the time. fuck you hope they’re not gay. well not like you would have a problem with them being gay, you just really want to fuck them. like really.

on yeah you found the names out. heard them talk, listened carefully. simple shit, wasn’t hard. (you’re a fucking creep)

hyunjin’s room has soft lighting, so him, posters of bands you don’t give a flying fuck about, art shit, and usually hyunjin himself sprawled on his bed in just boxers scrolling tiktok with the most angelic little face or frown or smile while changbin yells from the kitchen “bro did you eat the last yogurt again you absolute whore” changbin’s room is simple, just like he is. maybe a bit messy until hyunjin starts to fuss over it and cleans up. you usually watch for hours, watching changbin talk to his mom on the phone, get into his nice car and talk to it like it’s his baby(luxury. changbin’s got money or daddy does. hot.), hyunjin laugh at his phone, watching him stretch, watching him scratch his balls. you’re so wet you almost slip off from wherever you’re watching. god you’re disgusting.

chan next. easier. he lives alone. you park in the alley behind his building most nights, watch him come home from whatever blue collar job he’s got (construction? delivery? something with his hands). shirtless fridge raids of his are… wow. fridge door opens, light comes out, you can see his broad body, sweatpants always about to slip off that round ass, scratching his abs while he stares into the fridge. grabs a beer, chugs half standing there, scratches his balls. you zoom in from across the street.

you hear him blasting shitty rap while doing push ups shirtless. so cute. manly. you sit on the fire escape across the alley eating and kinda maybe jerking off to the way his back muscles move. he was there for you in the woods so you’re there for his morning wood outline in those gray sweatpants. fair’s fair.

han and minho are in a shittier apartment complex downtown, third floor, blinds always open. brutal win tbh. you sit on the stairwell one afternoon pretending to scroll tiktok while han comes home from wherever nice boys go, carrying grocery bags and humming. minho’s already inside, you hear his voice when the door opens telling han to “quit singing that fucking song it’s stuck in my head now.” makes you want to puke and also hump the doorframe. you watch han jerk off once, quick, face buried in a pillow. you almost applaud.

seungmin also lives alone. looks really depressive but he seems to be having fun by himself(he always looks mad asf), he just lies around when he’s home. maybe on the couch, maybe in his bed when he’s not working. he’s pretty boring to watch but really pretty so maybe not that boring after all. he cooks for himself too. looks cute doing it. you’d like to try his food one day.

felix is rich. you tail him from the gym (where he and chan and changbin go to fuck around, felix does nothing) to a fucking mansion ass house with a gate code you memorize after watching him punch it in twice. parents barely home, felix smoking something on the balcony in a silk robe. you climb the fence one night and watch him facetiming his mom while shirtless, saying “yeah mom i ate vegetables today” right before he snorts a line of something off his coffee table.

when parents are home, he spends time with them. seems to be bored of them tho. (an: this characterization of felix is not affected by his sisters, so it’s up to you, dearest reader, to think of him as someone who has siblings or is a spoiled only child) you watch him walk in one afternoon and his mom hugs him at the door. he leans down into it, smiling, being an angel of a boy.

“you eat?” she asks.

“yeah, ma.”

liar. he didn’t. you know that because you followed him the whole day.

you climb the tree in his backyard sometimes, fucking lunatic, watch him through his bedroom window. he’s on discord with the boys, vaping(like specifically vaping, the pussy boy, real men smoke actual cigarettes, he’s a little bitch), being loud, saying nasty shit. does he kiss his mother with that mouth? you cackle in the tree so loud a neighbor’s dog barks. he’s dreamy and spoiled and seems out of reach and that naturally excites people more and you want to fuck him on his own king bed while his parents are in the bahamas.

they were up to be there for you. so now, you’re there for them. creepy? yeah. a little pervy? absolutely. but means a lot coming from you. because you want to go back to these assholes of boys, for some reason(and not kill them). again. and again. and again.

you’re everywhere and nowhere.

there for them. every night. every shower. every fridge look through. every drunk walk home. every disgusting fucking word said to each other.

you work on a fucking schedule. monday, hyunjin and changbin. tuesday, jeongin’s bar shift where you sit in the corner nursing one beer for six hours while he winks at you. wednesday, felix’s mansion where you watch him play video games in his underwear. thursday, seungmin’s place for watching him shower. friday, minho and han beating each other up playfully. saturday, chan walking around shirtless at home on the phone about some business. sundays go for planning. planning good, and the reward for that is watching them eat cereal, watching them argue over who gets the aux, watching them jack off, watching them exist, cute, clueless.

they wanted to save you, you’re just returning the favor. because you’re just looking out for them!!

you love doing this. you love watching chan stand in front of open fridge in just pants(no underwear if you’re lucky), scratching his happy trail absentmindedly while deciding between leftover pizza and beer. usually picks both. eats standing up, leaning on counter, one hand down his pants adjusting his dick. once flexed his pecs twice in the microwave’s reflection, then went back to scrolling his phone.

another time he jerked off on the couch facing the window. lights off, curtains open, fucking win, slow, good strokes while watching porn on his laptop, head tipped back, mouth open when he came on his stomach. wiped it with the same t shirt he was wearing earlier. boys.

he also orders food everytime. you have never seen this man make food.

hyunjin is quieter at home. comes out of the shower in just a white towel(doesn’t use other colored towels and doesn’t like it when binnie does either), water dripping down his chest, hair wet and dark. you like his hair. it’s almost kinda curly? cute. he stands in front of mirror, towel moving with him as he brushes his teeth, stomach muscles flexing when he reaches for mouthwash. once he let the towel drop completely to lotion his legs. holy fuck. long, pretty thighs, cock soft between them. you almost came just from watching and this is not an exaggeration.

beautiful even when he’s picking at a pimple in the bathroom mirror. one evening you see him humping the edge of the couch while on his phone, mouth open and panting because he’s trying to be quiet with changbin in the next room. cums in his boxers, bites his lip almost fucking bloody to stay silent, then changes like nothing happened.

changbin talks to himself while gaming, yells “fuck you laggy piece of shit” at the monitor, slams controller down, then apologizes to it and panics because he doesn’t want to buy another one. he came home drunk once, tripped over his own shoes(he’s lucky hyunjin didn’t see him walk in with shoes), face down on the bed still in jeans, ass up, snoring within thirty seconds. another night he jerked off under the covers, quiet little grunts, phone glowing on his face. finished with a soft “oh fuck yeah” and then immediately texted someone. you couldn’t see what he texted. you’re thrilled to.

you watch changbin vacuuming in just basketball shorts, singing until hyunjin shoves his dirty sock feet into changbin’s face. they also cook together a lot.

one evening hyunjin comes out of the shower in nothing but a towel on his hips, out to the kitchen to make something, and changbin wolf whistles then throws a pillow at him. hyunjin drops the towel to mess with bin, standing there naked(holy shit his pubes are so attractive, you’re this attracted) before changbin screams “dude put it away, i’ve seen that shit multiple times and it’s still weird!”

seungmin’s balcony sliding door is always cracked for his cigarette smoke. fucking goldmine. he paces there while on the phone, shirtless, scratching his ass crack through basketball shorts. once he walked out just boxers to piss in a plant. why? but his dick was cute so anyways. flips himself off in the mirror sometimes.

jeongin sometimes brings girls home, quick, loud fucks against the wall you can hear through the thin glass, him moaning “yeah baby just like that” while the girl giggles. when he’s alone he jerks off in front of his computer with the volume up, pretty mouth always left open as his face twists. hot.

he parties hard, comes home at 4am stumbling, pisses in the sink(???) then crashes on the bed still wearing shoes. one morning you watch him wake up, scratch his balls for a solid minute, then immediately light a cig before even brushing his teeth.

eats cereal randomly just because he’s jn the mood to, milk dripping down his chin. cutie.

han acts like a teenage girl. lying on his stomach, legs swinging, on his phone. you don’t understand why doesn’t he have bitches. he’s attractive.

another night he jerks off in his room, quiet little gasps, whispering “fuck fuck fuck” under his breath because he’s trying not to wake minho.

minho, meanwhile, scratches his ass crack through his boxers while cooking, dick soft but outline visible. makes your mouth water. you also see him jerk off once in silence, back to window, hot, hand moving under the sheet, cums with just an exhale, rolls over and sleeps like nothing happened. you felt like hitting the jackpot there.

felix’s bedroom window at the fucking mansion is second floor but the tree’s perfect. he’s home most nights because “studying” means discord with the boys. scratching nipple absentmindedly while talking shit. jerks off on call with the boys once, cam off mic off, “hold up guys brb” then wet slapping sounds, heavy breathing, “fuck fuck fuck” cums with a hot manly groan, then unmutes, camera back, back to game “aight i’m good”.

or “bro i’d let her sit on my face till i pass out for reaaal.” his mom calls him down for dinner and he yells back “five minutes, ma!” then goes right back to describing in graphic detail how he’d fuck someone.

jerks off to hentai, by the way. loud moans from the anime girls on screen while he strokes himself on his bed, whispering “yes mommy” unironically at one point. you nearly fall out of the tree laughing.

showers with his bathroom door open sometimes, takes his slutty little showers hot, singing badly(could be good if he did some training tho, there’s a potential), towel around that babe waist when he walks back into the room, drops it to air dry, cock bouncing as he flops on bed to scroll. scratches balls while texting, leg up, full view. you’re in love.

you’re in love with how they are. how they live. how they do, what they do.

you know a lot and you’re in love with that lot. you know chan watches sport. you know minho stares at himself in the mirror after showering, tracing his scar, flexing his arms, proud of himself. you know changbin eats an entire family size bag of chips in bed, crumbs everywhere, falls asleep like that. you know hyunjin humps his pillow in his sleep. you know han always walks around the place just in boxers. you know felix kisses his mom on cheek after saying the nastiest shit online, then goes upstairs to smoke and jack off again. you know seungmin yells at everything, from football on the tv to dogs barking outside. you know jeongin has surprisingly good piss aim.

they’re so boys. so gross. so human. so hot.

you watch them scratch, curse, jerk, eat, sleep, piss, flex, throw up, moan, laugh, cry once (changbin after a bad day, curled up hugging pillow, sniffling like a kid). you watch them live like no one’s watching.

but you are.

always.

you see them be everything. changbin brings hyunjin coffee in bed one morning. chan helps an old lady with her groceries then comes home and immediately sniffs his armpits and makes a face. felix argues with his dad about college but then hugs him after. jeongin texts the group chat stupid shit at the middle of the fucking night and they all reply instantly even when half asleep. han blushes at his own horniness. things like these.

goooood you’re such a fucking creep.

sitting in your car at 2am with the seat leaned back, binoculars fogging up from how hard you’re breathing, heart doing this stupid shit it’s never done before.

you used to kill people and feel nothing in general. now it’s like… discovering fanfiction and vibrators at the same time. head over heels. stomach always full of butterflies. first crush of your entire empty life.

you didn’t even know feelings could do this.

growing up you were just… flat. eh. meh. other synonyms. kill, move on, kill again.

but these assholes made your feelings turn on. these useless dumb fucks. genuinely what do they provide to society.

you recognize yourself smiling during the day thinking about chan’s body. you think about hyunjin’s gentle voice while fingering yourself in the shower. minho’s nose. han’s teeth. jeongin’s face shape. changbin’s face fat. felix’s flat little boy ass. seungmin’s way of controlling his eyebrows. all so unbelievably hot.

you’re in love. actual disgusting love. with all eight of them. simultaneously. that’s actually eight times feeling more than you ever did.

you have never felt and you do it in eight ways now. it’s brain melting.

but you just love them so much.

to start with, felix’s happy trail is brutal.

that sooooft little line of dark hair disappearing under his waistband when he walks around his room shirtless maybe after a shower, still damp, oh your fucking GOD. you watched him scratch it absently one night while arguing with his discord friends, and you almost fell out the tree.

it’s not even that deep, just a normal boy happy trail, but on him it looks like an arrow pointing to heaven and you want to follow it with your tongue until he’s begging.

jeongin’s dimples. fuuuck. when he grins that sly, cheeky grin after telling one of the boys to suck his dick, those little dents just pop in his cheeks and you feel it straight in your clit. you always have to bite your fist not to moan out loud while watching him.

you want to kiss them, bite them, sit on his face while he smiles up at you with those stupid dimples.

chan’s shoulders. unreal. usually slightly sunburnt from whatever outdoor shit he does, flexing everytime he reaches for something on the top shelf or does push ups in his living room(why do men enjoy that? fucking asshole). you love how they fill out his shirts, how they look when he’s shirtless scratching his lower back, how they push his traps up when he rolls them. like daddy let me grip them while u fuck me slow, telling me i’m safe even though i’m the actual danger.

hyunjin’s hair and that mouth(that looks like it but didn’t get lip filler, at least you didn’t find any information of that). the way his hair falls into his eyes when he’s laughing at changbin, how he smiles when he’s being evil. you watched him brush his teeth once, foam at the corners, then spit and smile at himself in the mirror because he’s proud to be pretty. so cute. you want that mouth on every part of you.

changbin’s got this smile, this warm, boyish face shape that makes you feel okay even from fifty feet away through a window. his whole build is just friendly, good to be around. you love that softness. want to fuck it up just a little. but mostly just fuck it in general. you want to fuck this man. bad.

seungmin’s mouth, from the bratty shit he spits at people to the way it has this triangle shape sometimes. like okay world class bottom stfu but also like keep talking u cute. like a little puppy. most kissable mouth on earth. caressable face. boopable nose. suckable dick.

minho’s face shape. his nose. the way he moves his eyes, eyebrows. finding this man felt like winning the lottery, watching him slap on han’s back and laugh at whatever the other did. you want him to fuck you with those intense beautiful eyes locked, hand over your mouth so you don’t wake the roommate.

you’d scream anyway. not to be a brat, just because you’re too in love with these men to not feel that good. but it he wants you to be, you could be a brat too, of course.

han’s nervousness, his awkward energy. the whole setting of the guy. the way his pretty face goes red and he looks down at his feet, kicking the air around??? hot babe. you watched him try to hide a boner during movie night by crossing his legs awkwardly, blushing, and it was the cutest fucking thing ever. you want to make him blush harder while you’re on your knees.

you feel… never better. ever. about the way felix’s already deep voice cracks when he gets excited on discord. jeongin’s cigarette smoke curling around his jawline. chan’s happy trail too, you’re dripping wet just thinking about it. hyunjin’s long fingers when he plays with some kind of smoke. changbin’s pretty little handwriting on the grocery list stuck to the fridge. seungmin’s ass posture. minho’s veiny arms. han’s messy bedhead every morning.

at first it scared you, feelings? gross. attachment? even grosser. all of it ew, ew, ew!

you sat in your car after one particularly long stalking session, hands shaking, not understanding what the fuck was happening. you didn’t have a word for it until you googled shit, turns out it’s called a crush.

it’s so pink. it’s embarrassing. your notebook (yes you have a notebook now, you absolute creep) is full of little doodles, hearts around jeongin’s name, stars next to hyunjin’s, tiny knives next to seungmin(??? tf is your problem).

you’re in love with men. specifically these eight men. their smells (you’ve gotten close enough some nights to catch hints of deodorant and boy sweat), their laughs, their boners, their kindness, their evilness, their stupidity.

you love how they scratch their (big) asses, how they announce horniness, how they always beat each other up.

it feels like you’re floating on pure pink. fuck!! rainbows out your ass. little hearts above your head. genfuckinguinely. your brain is 80% vibrating dildos and 20% planning the most meticulous breaking and entering schedule known to man.

because that’s what you’re going to do.

night one, chan’s place when he’s sleeping over at hyunjin and changbin’s. easy entry through the bathroom window he always leaves cracked because “fresh air, bro.” the fucking second your shoes touch his floor you feel like fucking exploding.

better than any kill you’ve ever done.

you giggle. you have to slap a hand over your fuckass mouth.

you look through his laundry basket first, bury your face in a worn t shirt that smells like sweat and pure christopher chahn bahng. steal one of his gray sweatpants (what else, they’re overrated but for a good reason) and a pair of boxers.

you open his fridge, touch the beer cans, lick the rim of one. disgusting fucking freak. spin around in his living room, arms out, laughing because this is insane and you’re so happy it hurts. you’re so in love that you’re this disgustingly cringe. you’re such a girl.

you leave with a hoodie of his and the sweatpants & boxers.

night two, jeongin’s. fire escape is your best friend. you pick the lock on his balcony door with shaking hands that are shaking from excitement, not even accidentally fear. you have no reason to be afraid(you have all the reasons to). you’re never afraid bfr.

inside it smells like cig smoke, a good cologne, and boy. you steal his half empty pack of cigarettes, the lighter with the scratched on dick drawing, and a t shirt with some print on it that was on the floor and maybe cum stains on the inside.

you roll around on his unmade bed, face pressed into his pillow, inhaling deep while your thighs clench together. the rush is so strong you have to sit on the floor for a minute just breathing through it, laughing to yourself. you’re fucking unbearable.

you take a pair of his socks and a mug besides the lighter and the cigarettes and the shirt, all of it in the shirt which is tied together. when you climb back out you’re spinning on the fire escape.

night three, changbin and hyunjin’s loft. they’re both out at some group thing so the place is empty and waiting just for you. you go through their bathroom, steal hyunjin’s strawberry scented body wash (makes your pussy drip), one’s dirty sock from the laundry, and changbin’s toothbrush. men don’t miss shit like these.

from hyunjin’s room you take one of his hoodies and the vape he left charging. he’ll just bitch to bin about losing it. from changbin’s you pick his perfume up, dig a shirt out of the back of his closet, spray it on until it’s swimming in it, then open the window so he’s less likely to smell it when he comes back, take the shirt with you.

you sit on their couch for abt ten minutes just imagining them wrestling there, then jump and hop and squeal around for a while.

you leave with their shared grocery list stuck to the fridge as a souvenir.

day four, han’s and minho’s. han’s room is a mess of energy drinks and dirty clothes. you steal one random pokemon card he left on his table (he has hundreds) and a pair of his boxers that have little dinosaurs on them. cuuuuute. you want to make him cum through them one day.

minho’s room is… kind of tidy, just as much as a man can be tidy. you take one of his hoodies that smells clean, maybe out the laundry recently, plus the book he’s halfway through with his little underlines. he’ll buy another one, suspect han for making it disappear because who else. you heard minho talking about wanting cats once. han wasn’t against it. sounds nice. hm, you’d be down to pet a cat right now. maybe on the way home.

the fucking rush after locking the door behind you makes your knees weak. holy fucking fucked pegged shit. men.

five, seungmin’s hellhole. balcony door was unlocked. dumbass. inside it’s takeout boxes and laundry mountain. you steal one of his best looking hoodies, a half used bottle of his body wash that smells aggressively masculine, and the pillowcase from his bed. smells like scalp. men. good.

you sit on his couch and imagine him jerking off(standard girl in love activity, actually)(like stop reading and take a moment to imagine the man jack it), then stand up and do a little spin, giggling tf around while clutching the pillowcase to your face. you feel like you could run a marathon and finger yourself at the same time.

day six, felix’s parents’ mansion. hardest one, had to wait until his parents were out and he was at a class.

you climb the tree, pop the window lock, climb into his room that smells like fucking heaven because of those flavored car batteries he sucks on plus the expensive ass cologne he sprayed on before leaving. you steal one of his college hoodies and the hentai body pillow he hides under his bed (you almost scream laugh when you find it).

you roll around on his bed for a solid five minutes, face buried in his pillow, legs kicking in the air, rubbing on your clit for a bit but not enough to cum, you heard something outside and even though you kinda knew it wasn’t a human, better not to risk it and lose one of the loves of your life. when you climb back down the tree you’re giggling so hard you nearly miss a branch.

in the car you’re screaming, fucking deadass crying punching the steering wheel because you’re so fucking happy.

seven, back to changbin and hyunjin again? no, you already did them. you saved the second round for overlaps but actually you hit chan again? nooo. you planned it, after the first pass you come back smarter, but this time you’re just riding the high. for the love of the game fr. actually you do a quick second hit on jeongin because his place called to you, steal another cig pack and one of his used condoms from the trash. giggle the whole way home.

there we go.

you sit in your apartment surrounded by the shit you got, your treasures quite fucking literally, hoodies on your bed, stolen socks, the lighter, the toothbrush, the dino boxers, the body washes, the cum stained t shirt, the body pillow, the grocery list, everything.

you’re horrible. spinning in circles in the middle of your living room with your arms out, one of the socks on your hand. fuck u so jolly about.

you haven’t laughed like this in your entire fucking life.

you love these stupid beautiful assholes.

you pull chan’s sweatpants over your face and inhale, then grab jeongin’s lighter and flick it on just to watch the flame while you cackle. you have never done dumb shit like this ever.

but it’s pink. rainbows. hearts. vibrators on max. girl.

you’re dizzy and horny and happier than any serial killer has any right to be because you’re a horrible person.

the feeling is…

everything.

you’re in love.

your apartment looks… fucking pathetic, to be honest with you. you really do need some fucking help. random men’s hoodies around the place, the socks, jeongin’s cig packs sitting on your nightstand next to the lighter with the dick, felix’s body pillow propped up on the couch (you say hi to her every morning), hyunjin’s body wash in your shower so you can smell like him while you fuck yourself. yeah we’re not talking about how many of those things have lived inside you by now. we’re definitely not talking about the nights you rode chan’s pants or used changbin’s toothbrush handle when you were too lazy to grab a toy.

anyways.

you truly, deeply, absolutely, surely love them.

it’s not just lust anymore. it’s pink. sweet. you love the men shit. the cute shit. the everything shit.

you love watching them touch each other. when they’re being boyish and friendly and rough. that’s so sweet when men do that. hyunjin pulling dirty laundry over changbin’s head then wrestling. chan clapping seungmin on the back so hard that you’d die if you were seungmin, then pulling him into a quick bro hug. jeongin throwing an arm around han’s shoulders while they’re walking to the car, ruffling his hair until han laughs and shoves him off. minho being pressed up to han’s side when sitting somewhere. felix passing a vape or a cig or whatever shit they ruin themselves with to hyunjin and their fingers brushing.

you see these and feel like you’re the one being touched. like their hands on each other are on you too.

you love how they move. how loud they are. how they look at each other across tables when they’re in public.

such friends. ones you never had. such boys. that never interested you until now.

you love when they’re on the game(average man activity). you’ve got a spot outside han and minho’s place where you can hear the yelling through the cracked window. han screaming while his legs kick in the air. minho grunting. once you zoned out and imagined those were the sounds of them fucking. unfortunately, wasn’t.

or at jeongin’s, where you can hear him saying disgusting shit. calling the others virgins and cucks and things he can’t say. or seungmin, either hyping minho up or telling felix to kill himself. felix doing a hundred things beside the game and still managing to play good. hyunjin’s tongue poking out when he focuses too hard. changbin dying, slamming a few things, then going over to hyunjin’s room to watch him play. chan is mostly quiet, he needs his mouth shut to pay attention to playing, can’t multitask like that. you learned that too.

you sit somewhere in the dark where you can see one of them from with your hand between your legs and feel fucking proud of them.

you love when they visit their parents. their parents are really different, each’s. you caught han nervously fixing his hair before heading to his parents’ place, then coming back and announcing to minho “dude my mom still thinks i’m a virgin lmao.”

they’re adorable.

seungmin’s visits are shorter, you hear him arguing with his dad through an open window but he still hugs him goodbye. jeongin gets to family barbecues drunk, always smiling, flirts with his own aunt by accident.

the others’ visits aren’t that interesting. felix lives with his parents, we know that. hyunjin’s parents are chill, kind of boring. changbin sometimes takes hyunjin with him. minho brings shit(though his cats aren’t the only thing purring when you see him play with them there) chan’s parents live in another country, you only can listen to the phone calls.

you follow them to the grocery store and watch what they buy. you sit outside the gym when they go lift together, peeking through the window as they spot each other, grunting, sweating, clapping hands. fucking pussy dripping. you follow them to the movies and watch jeongin throw popcorn at han’s head while hyunjin rests his head on minho’s shoulder.

you’re so in love it’s pathetic.

and like… you used to be empty. now you’re overflowing with emotions. just how you wish chan would flood you ;)

and now there’s this new feeling creeping in. one not so pink.

it’s… best way to explain it would be ice through your chest. a cringe thing to say but it’s the realest, maybe.

because they don’t know you.

they met you once in the woods, even only half of them met you there. they have no idea where you are now.

they don’t know your name. they don’t know you killed a guy at seventeen first and kept going because ending lives is the only thing that makes you feel(besides their cute asses now, or course). they don’t know you’ve broken into every single one of their homes and touched everything they own.

they think you’re just some random girl who already went away

it hurts. you want them to know you.

everytime one of your boys so much as looks at a girl, you have to kill. jealousy. the sudden urge to dig another hole in the woods. you tell yourself it’s because they’re your men, your boys. you watched them first. you have their hoodies and their shirts and their fucking toothbrushes. those girls are just temporary. shit that needs to be silenced.

and good thing you’re a serial killer, right?

good thing for you.

bad fucking news for any bitch who’s not you.

jeongin is the worst offender. he brings girls home like a revolving door fr. you watch from a fire escape while he grinds against some random club girl against the wall, she moans his name, his flawless dimples are out as he smiles. the dimples that are supposed to make an appearance for you. you see his hands on her waist, see him laughing into her neck, see him fuck her fast and her face not facing him because it doesn’t mean anything. afterward he offers her a smoke, and you have to throw up.

you hate her.

you hate the way she touches him. you hate her voice, her hair, her body, her face, her everything.

so you follow her.

easy. she’s drunk, stumbling out of jeongin’s building at night with a post fuck glow that makes you want to carve it off her. you follow her, remember where she lives. two nights later you sneak in and hit her once with the shovel, right to the temple. the bag you brought is big enough. you zip her up still warm, drag her out the same way you dragged your last body, load her into the trunk while humming some song changbin was singing while cooking last week. woods again. deeper this time. hole bigger than usual because you want to insult her a little.

you go back to jeongin’s place the next night, he’s on the phone with the boys, laughing about how the girl from last weekend “ghosted him” and how he’s already eyeing someone new at the club.

you’ll end her too. it’s always going to be the same end, that he’s safe again. he’s yours again.

you catch felix flirting with a girl at the mall once. she giggles, touches his arm. you follow her home too. another bag. another trip to the woods. you bury her shallow because you’re in a hurry to get back and watch felix game with the boys, listening to him complain that “girls never text back”

you would. immediately.

hyunjin and changbin bring a couple girls to a group hangout once. nothing serious, just friends of friends, but you watch as one of them sits close to hyunjin, laughing at his jokes, whatnot. you would do the same, he’s beautiful. three days later she disappears after a yoga class. they never find the body. hyunjin is unbothered.

seungmin hooks up with some girl who calls him “daddy” and he laughs at it. oh? fuck you “oh”ing about, you hate it. you follow her to her car after she leaves his place, bash her skull, stuff her in the trunk of her own car, drive it out to the woods yourself.

chan doesn’t bring many girls home usually, though one night you watch a tall brunette leave his apartment at sunrise, she makes it two more days before you catch her jogging and choke her.

han doesn’t get bitches. girls talk to minho but he never goes anywhere with them.

han could pull you. already did, if we think about it. and you’d take minho out.

you love them.

you really, really love them.

and love means keeping them safe from anyone who tries to take even a second of their attention.

that’s only natural.

so everytime another girl smiles at one of your boys, everytime she touches what’s yours, everytime she exists too close, you pick up the shovel.

what you also began to pick up on is where do the boys usually hang out. you know each’s full schedules now.

you’re following them on the street now, after one of their little bro nights. men are so cute. hood up, one of jeongin’s stolen cigs between your lips even though you don’t smoke, just like the imagine of the taste of his mouth on it.

the eight of them are loud as usual, taking up the whole sidewalk, fucking asshole men and not noticing themselves. assholes. hyunjin and changbin are bumping into each other on purpose, han’s in the middle fidgeting with his phone, felix and chan smoking something together, passing it back n forth, jeongin walking backwards trying to talk to minho who just gives him a middle finger.

then. some other guy group rounds a corner. about seven guys, typical dumbasses, they’re quieter. one of them clips chan hard, shoulder to shoulder.

“excuse me bro.” the guy mutters.

“excused.” chan says. clear, wanting to sound like an asshole.

the dude turns around like chan just called his mom a whore, grabs chan by the hoodie, yanks him back hard enough to make his feet skid. hits him. chan ducks though, punch goes past his ear. wow. hot. and also pretty fucking concerning, watch out sweetie.

han’s dumb little ass tries to step in with a confused little “yo what the fu—” and catches an elbow straight to the cheek from one of the other guys. he stumbles, hand flying to his face. it’s adorable. “dude i didn’t do anything! what the fuuuck!”

oh but no worries, seungmin immediately swings on the guy that hit han. but then we also have to keep in mind that seungmin is not that strong at all, so changbin can’t help but help him out with another hit.

jeongin drops his cig, smiles, glee as he swings on the biggest one. dumbest fuck on the planet. oooh by then hyunjin is dodging. makes his hair bounce, pretty. can’t land any hit tho, doesn’t even try to. and minho is just too manly to not do at least a little good.

little.

felix is… trying to turn away. pussy. gets yanked tf back.

okay. wow. you follow it as it moves into a little side street, alley almost. bodies slamming into dumpsters, trash bags splitting open, someone’s shoe flying.

fucking men. only they’re this animalistic to do this. dumb.

god they look hot fighting tho.

you’re dripping wet. chan’s shirt rides up everytime he throws a punch, the way that man’s muscles move. jeongin’s laughing with a split lip. he’s gorgeous. hyunjin moves like a dancer, quite fucking literally(with evil in his heart, men are evil). changbin’s protecting han, throwing himself between. fucking respect. seungmin hits just for fun. minho actually manages. han is whining “guys i’m fine, ow fuck—” blood comes from his nose. felix… is having the worst night of his life. it’s so fucking hilarious you have to bite your fist.

they’re not winning tho.

seungmin takes a solid hit to the jaw that snaps his head back. jeongin’s on the ground for a second before rolling away. hyunjin’s perfect lip is bleeding. changbin’s shielding han but catching kicks. chan’s breathing hard. felix keeps getting yanked back. minho is the last one standing tall but even he’s slowing.

you want to, but you don’t interfere. this is their fight. their stupid boy moment. their chance to be loud and dumb and protective of each other. you want to see them like this, bleeding, these looks aren’t crossed off your list yet. you want to watch. the punches, grunts, when one of them checks on another midfight (“you good han?” “fuck off i’m fine”).

“you’re getting your ass kicked!” that’s jeongin, then gets yanked backwards. “okay, i’m getting my ass kicked—”

felix is on the ground, back against the wall, arms up trying to shield his head. rich kid. the guy on him brings a fist back, real heavy, about to turn felix’s skull into red paste on the bricks.

your body moves, your brain doesn’t even know about it. that’s for not interfering. belt. gun. into your palm.

bang.

one shot. right through the side of the guy’s head.

dude drops instantly.

felix lets out the most pathetic, girly yelp you’ve ever heard. “FUCK—holy shit what the fuck—” he scrambles backward on the wall on his ass, legs kicking, so scared, staring at the body and then up at you.

suddenly the guys don’t want trouble. “yo what the fuck—” “we’re good, we’re good—” “cops, man, fuck this—” they go real quick. tripping over each other.

the alley goes dead quiet. well, if we don’t count the heavy breathing and the drip of blood, maybe.

your boys are standing there bleeding, bruised, staring.

you’re shaking.

your lips are trembling. the gun is trembling in your hand. your knees feel like they might give out any second. dizzy.

hyunjin… smiles. chuckles. stumbles over, blood on his split lip, eyes big. “hey… hey it’s you.” he reaches up slowly, brushes the hair out of your face with shaking fingers, then tilting your head so he can see you better. “hi. hi. talk to me. hey, look at me. you okay? talk to me, please.” he can see you’re not okay.

his other hand comes up to hold your gun wrist, his big, warm palm wrapping around yours to keep the trembling gun in it’s place. he would never take that gun from you.

chan wipes blood from his mouth with the back of his hand, the pieces click in his perfect, genuinely perfect head. steps closer, keeps a respectful distance, more cautious though. you just shot someone. “alright. oh, uh, this is the girl hyune ran into that night in the woods. remember? whatever.” he glances at the body, then back at you. “you good?”

your lips are shaking, trying to open your mouth to answer. acting a bit too good.

changbin’s cute little mouth takes an o shape as he realizes. seungmin spits blood on the ground, proccesses. that’s for the guys who “met” you already.

jeongin? chest heaving, watching. minho? same. han? don’t be stupid, barely standing straight. felix, still on the ground, ass in a puddle, staring at the dead guy next to him. “what the fuuuuuuuck.”

jeongin finally finds his voice. “headshot.” yeah staying quiet would have been nice too, babe.

hyunjin holds your face. “hey, ignore them for a second. look at me. just talk to me, okay? tell me what’s going on in that pretty head. you’re trembling so bad, got you. it’s okay.”

your lips won’t stop shaking. all eight of them are looking at you.

good girl, y/n.

gooooood fucking girl.

that’s how you get something you want.

“i didn’t… i didn’t hurt any of you, did i?” you mumble out. c’mon, you could have easily answered to hyunjin, didn’t on purpose.

they all shake their heads.

“we’re good. you just… saved felix’s stupid head.” hyunjin says. “what’s your name? tell me your name.”

“y/n…”

chan steps closer, shrugging off his jacket. he trusts you more now, obviously. it’s warm from his body, has the smell you’ve jerked off to more times than you can count. he drapes it over your shoulders, big hands adjusting the collar. “here. keep it. looks better on you anyway.”

he means that to make you smile. it does, just not with the lips on your face.

han(sweet, grateful, still bleeding from the nose) comes up to you too and and wraps his arms around you in a biiiiig hug. crushes you, kinda. he obviously doesn’t hug(or touch) girls often. but like. oh?

you lean into him, let him hold you, fucking MILKING it, forehead pressing into his shoulder. he smells good.

“thank you. thank you so much. seriously.” he says. “i thought my face was about to get rearranged. thank you.”

the face hyunjin makes because he just got pushed away from you.

felix is standing up just now, brushing dirt off his ass, legs wobbly. it’s okay, baby.

you’re shaking harder now, but from them. this close. han’s arms around you. his body on yours. chan’s jacket on you. that you’re the center of their attention.

they have no idea you’re a major creep who’s been stalking their every move for weeks.

they have no idea the shaking is because you’re standing in the middle of your eight crushes and your pussy is throbbing so hard you’re scared they’ll smell it.

to them you’re just y/n. the woods girl. their savior.

“my—my name’s hyunjin. by the way. i’ve been thinking about you since the woods.” okay mr loverboy. attached asf. “lean on han if you need to. thank you.”

han keeps one arm around your waist, hand pressing into you so he’s really holding you, keeping you up against his side, bouncing you lightly. “got heeeer.” now you get why they call him by his surname.

changbin nods. “yeah, seriously. han’s got you. i, uh, i’ll grab water from the car. felix, stop pacing, you’re making her dizzy.”

felix mutters “sorry” but keeps doing little anxious circles anyway.

“shut the fuck up, bin.” chan says. mean daddy. “she’s probably in shock. y/n, you want us to walk you somewhere? call someone? or… shit, you wanna come back to one of our places and sit down for a minute?”

they really do want you to know they’re grateful.

only if they knew.

han squeezes you tighter, better, turns his head to look at your face, his cheeks are pink. both at the closeness of a girl, something he doesn’t usually get, bitchless little asshole, and at the fact that all this just happened to him. you want to bite them.

you’re dizzy. lips trembling. they can see that. all of them can. all are looking.

finally looking at you.

finally touching you.

finally grateful.

jeongin takes a big breath, fishes a cig out of his pocket. offers it to you with shaky fingers. “want one? helps with the nerves sometimes. or… nah? cool, cool.” he lights it for himself instead.

they’re all over you. making sure you’re okay. making sure you know they’re grateful as fuck.

you’re dizzy. crazy.

“uh, okay, shit, alright.” chan says, looking around. “we’re not leaving a fucking corpse in the middle of downtown. bin, seungmin, lix, do something about it.”

seungmin throws his skinny arms up. “the fuck? why me? fuck off.”

changbin throws his hands up too. he’s adorable. “broooo! what if i puke? what if i cry? i’m sensitive! i was just about to bring her water!”

felix keeps shaking his head. “no no no, i have to go home! my mom’s gonna kill me! i’m literally the weakest link here, you saw me get handled like a bitch the whole fight!” poor boy he was so scared that he couldn’t talk until now, couldn’t talk to you, to any of them out of shock, and now his words have to be defending himself :(

“okay, jeongin then.”

jeongin’s hands fly up, burning cig in one. “dudeee! what the fuck, man?! i throw up when i see ketchup packets open wrong! i’m delicate!”

chan rolls his eyes. sassy. “do it.”

seungmin grumbles the entire time, calling everyone “pussies” and “useless cumrags” while he starts searching for helpful shit with aggression. changbin is whimpering “i’m gonna throw up, i’m gonna throw up” as he holds the legs. felix keeps trying to “guys my parents love me, they’ll notice if i come home smelling like death, please—” himself out of it until hyunjin turns and tells him he’ll tell felix’s dad what happened. felix shuts up and grabs an arm, muttering “this is bullshit.”

changbin mutters “i’m telling my mom you made me do this.”

“go.”

“what if i just supervise?” felix.

“dude, just… do it.” jeongin mutters, given up.

chan sighs. “we’ll walk y/n home. text the gc when it’s done and don’t fuck it up.” turns to you, voice changes to angelic. “c’mon, y/n.”

the four of them look crushed because wdym chan did this to them, made them do this then left with the bad bitch. (oh chan would’ve taken you only with him but he knows he couldn’t make hyunjin, han and minho also stay away.)

but the other four are already walking you out. around you. manly. about you.

han hasn’t let go of your waist(through chan’s jacket) the whole time, just so that you’ll stay upright. he’s worried. you seemed so unstable before, he has to hold you, right? he doesn’t want you to fall over, get hurt.

you’re leaning into him, eyes basically bout to close from bliss.

chan looks cute, just walking, hands in pockets, looking down then up. “you, uh, always carry that gun around? haha.”

“yeah… i just… got it after some bad shit happened. never thought i’d actually use it.” lie. smooth as butter. “i don’t like hurting people but… he was gonna smash your friend’s head in. i just reacted.” you almost said felix’s head. almost slipped. didn’t. gonna reward yourself later with a sweet treat or fucking yourself with changbin’s toothbrush again.

hyunjin is walking backwards so he can keep looking at you. he shoves his phone into your hands, screen on to add contact. “put your number in, hm? don’t want you to disappear again.”

oh. okay. wow. what a romantic. you don’t even know what to answer.

you take it, type yourself in with trembling fingers. he grins(that beautiful hyunjin grin) when you hand it back, immediately texting you a little heart emoji so you have his number too. hello??

han bounces you again. “here, wait.” he fishes his out and holds it under your nose. “i wanna be able to check on you.“

WOW. you add your number. he saves it as y/n.

then, oh, a phone is poked under your arm from behind. you glance back and minho gives you a tiny tiny smile, eyes adorable. aww. you add your number too. he takes the phone back without a word, right corner of his mouth twitches up. bitch kinda autistic but bad asf.

chan opens his mouth, doesn’t have the balls to ask for your number too. will ask for it from the others. “oh, uh, that’s minho. anyway, you saved felix back there. changbin, buff one, is also there. longer one’s seungmin,” longer one, pfft. “and jeongin. you already know hyunjin. uh, han.” han turns his face into yours to smile at you. “i’m chan. or chris. whatever.”

“you guys seem… really close. it was kinda nice seeing you all stick up for each other.” you’re doing amazing, y/n.

hyunjin runs his fingers up your arm once. he knows women like that. he knows how to use himself. “and then you saved us. my hero.” cringe. romantic. makes your knees weak.

“yeah, thanks.” minho mutters.

you can’t believe this is happening.

these are the boys you’ve been stalking for weeks. the ones whose hoodies you sleep in, the ones you’ve watched jerk off, scratch their asses, visit their moms. and now they’re all over you, talking bout some you’re their hero. ha.

“i’m glad none of you got hurt too bad. i just… reacted.” you manage.

hyunjin tilts his head charmingly as he sighs. acting, just like you are, except he really does feel overwhelming love, just using tricks he learned over the years. “you reacted perfectly. now you’ve got our numbers. use them. text me, okay? i’ll worry otherwise.”

han squeezes your waist. “same. and if you need anything, y’know, ride, food, someone to talk to, just say the word.“

you can’t believe this is real.

like this is actually fucking happening?? you’re fucking shaking, trembling not to turn and jump into minho’s arms or whatever.

when you finally reach your building han gives you one last gentle bounce and a tight hug. he’s physical. “text us when you’re inside, okay? don’t disappear.”

hyunjin leans in, presses a soft kiss to your forehead. doing a bit too much for just meeting you. on purpose. “goodnight, y/n. thank you, again.”

only one that knows about your little ex story. well, that’s fake, but still, only one. and still he be doing toooo much but you’re too in love to process it as anything but charming.

chan claps your shoulder lightly. “get some rest.”

minho nods, mouth pulled into a tiny line. he’s adorable. little meow meow. “goodnight.”

you wave with shaky hands, and mind you, they’re waiting for you to go in. real men asf not leaving until you’re safe for sure. han is smiling, wide, boy, hyunjin is waving, tilting his head, angelic, chan and minho are chatting.

apartment door shuts. okay. you have to get up to your floor. shit. your legs are shaking.

you manage.

the second your door shuts behind you, you slide down to the floor, breathing hard, having to squeak. cry. smile. laugh. scream. slam yourself into something.

it’s an unbearable feeling. it actually feels bad, no matter how good you feel, it’s so much that it’s torture.

phone pings.

hyunjin: heyy it’s hyunjin, you home safe?

han: did u make it?? u were so shaky lol

han: im hwn

han: han

han: soery

han: you can also call me jisung if u want :)

chan: this is chan. u kay?

minho doesn’t text. pussy. stares at chan’s phone over chan’s shoulder tho. and of course, you don’t have their names pre saved, we’re just signaling that you know who’s texting. save them later as their names though.

this is actually happening.

all eight end up having your number eventually.

you’re not used to this. you’re used to watching them from shadows, not having them reach out.

you’re actually wanted. each notif of your phone is a tiny electric shock straight to your clit and your stupid heart.

and god they be texting JUST to text.

chan: my jacket looks better on u than it ever did on me lol hahaha u keeping it?

or shit like

chan: heyyy u eat yet today? i’m grabbing food rn u want anything i can drop off

chan: that was wild what u did. still thinking about it. thx. u good tho? fr

they’re angels.

minho: hi it’s minho

minho: u ok?

minho: thanks for stepping in

minho: text me if u need anything. seriously.

changbin: hey it’s changbin!!🥰 thanks again for saving lix seriously!!

changbin: u looked cute in channie’s jacket btw. u keeping it? u can have mine too if u want

boi NOT subtle but atleast cute with his little emojis.

changbin: we were talking about u earlier.

changbin: all good things promise

changbin: 😊

he’s a BABE. you would usually fucking block a man for using emojis but you know him (even if he doesn’t know that) and he’s so sincere that it turns you on.

hyunjin: heyy

hyunjin: i was thinkinh about u today

hyunjin: u sleep okay after everything?

hyunjin: miss seeing ur face alrdy. when u free?

han: y/n u awake?? u were so cool but also u were so shaky i’m worried lol

han: osrye

han: *sorry

han: sorry lol

felix: heyyy i’m felix u shot the guy on me

felix: i didn’t thank you then

felix: but seriously tysm i owe u my life fr

felix: how are u?

he just wants to talk.

seungmin: hey

seungmin: i was w the boys i’m seungmin

he was biting his nails shaking while he wrote that.

seungmin: u need anything let me know

the only reason the messages aren’t full of typos because he reread them a hundred times before sending because he wanted to look good. with the boys he’s all typos and doesn’t care.

jeongin: heyyyeyey i’m innie from the alley

jeongin: u free this weekend?

STRAIGHT to the point.

every single text makes your hands shake so bad you have to set the phone down and breathe. you’re shocked every time. actually shocked. they’re texting you. voluntarily. with dumb excuses. because they want to talk to you.

you have to sit down when hyunjin texts “thinking about you” or when chan offers to pick you up for coffee “no pressure but i wanna see that pretty face again.” you press their hoodies to your face and squeak into the fabric because this can’t be real.

you don’t know this yet, but they feel the same for you. well, not as hard, but they also have crushes on you.

charmed out of their boy minds. they talk about you constantly when they’re together. you’re always the topic. they’re just boys with crushes because you were badass.

little example, one night at chan’s place they’re all around when jeongin goes “bros i’m not even joking i played with myself aaaall night long thinking about y/n and that gun. came twice.“ oh they’re COMFORTABLE.

han and felix immediately start hugging each other on the floor, giggling and squealing. GROWN ASS MEN.

seungmin throws his head back, raking his nails down his face. “step on me dude.”

changbin leans forward. “she smelled so nice too.”

han falls forward. “SO NICE.”

they keep doing this. they want you around. they want to check on you, feed you, make you enjoy them, fuck you, hold your hand, make you their girl.

they’re charmed. that’s the best word. you charmed them.

take han, his little pathetic ass giggles and bites his fingers whenever he sends you a selfie. others the same but some of them used to be confident with girls. what happened??

you can’t believe they’re this into you. this is real. they like you back. all eight of them. you used to chase them and now they’re chasing you.

but the thing is, they’re so biased, so… dumb, so simple, that they simply don’t mind when you do end up doing something creepy. like oh, the gun was just a one time thing. they totally gotta be gentle with you, according to their logic. like hey u a little scary but that’s cute they want to pet you.

you do sick shit right in front of their faces and it doesn’t register to them. once you were meeting hyunjin and changbin for coffee (their idea) some loud ass guy at the next table was an ass then started loudly hitting on girls when changbin went to take a piss(bc the guy obviously didn’t have the balls to do it while changbin was there, and hyunjin didn’t seem threatening enough to him). you stood up, grabbed the guy’s scalding hot coffee, and poured it straight down the front of his pants.

poor changbin just came back and his pretty mouth fell open.

hyunjin pulled you back. “y/n that was mean… but like he did deserve it.”

they didn’t mind.

another time you headbutted some random guy so hard his nose exploded, then kneed him in the balls twice for good measure. he was provoking you, whatever.

chan looked at you with those dumb man eyes. “you okay? your forehead good?”

han was bouncing on his toes.

another time some weird, sketchy, most likely on drugs guy tried to talk to felix. you ripped the guy’s own knife out of his waistband, stabbed it through his hand pinning it to a wooden fence.

felix yelped (of course). seungmin actually clapped. smiled ear to ear.

you were at chan’s place for a movie night when han accidentally spilled soda on felix’s lap. felix joked “y/n would’ve shot me for that.” you deadass pulled the gun out of your bag, pointed it at felix’s forehead.

dead silence for half a second.

then they started squealing at how cute you are.

they’re this dumb.

anyways, the nine of you hang out now. they don’t notice shit. they definitely don’t notice that everytime you go over to their places you’re stealing more shit for yourself.

you “fall asleep” on chan’s couch during a movie so you can stay the night. while he’s sleeping you go through his drawers, steal a pair of his boxers, and take a photo of his search history on his laptop (“how to tell if a girl likes you”). you also lick the rim of the beer bottle he left on the nightstand. he wakes up, sees you curled up next to him, chuckles to himself(take a moment to imagine it, that’s dada) drool practically dripping about you, and goes back to sleep. the man ever.

you help hyunjin and changbin “clean” and end up alone in hyunjin’s room for ten minutes, you steal his hair from his hairbrush (you put it in a little ziplock you fucking psycho), sniff his pillow so hard you almost pass out, and another pair of socks. couldn’t find used ones. when changbin walks in you’re just sitting on the bed looking innocent. he’s mesmerized.

han lets you play his video games in his chair. that’s so cute. he goes to pee and you take photos of his search history too. (“how to ask a girl to sit on your face without sounding weird”) then you end up sitting in his lap in the chair. he bounces you, innocently. though there is a tension there, it’s mostly cute. (you’re slipping his used tissue out of his pocket and into yours)

then while minho is in the shower you go through his laundry and steal multiple things. you two talk after it like nothing happened, you’re just too good.

jeongin’s phone has face id. you had to pay extra attention to his code. got it tho. while he’s passed out drunk you go through it take a photo of every nude he’s ever sent.

but oh you know how to use men’s lust. so he wakes up hungover and sees you wearing his shirt, that was on purpose too. “you look good in my clothes, babe. keep it.” he has no idea you spent twenty minutes sniffing the inside of his dirty laundry basket and rubbed one out during.

same shit with the others. you’re unbelievably good at distraction. they’re all so charmed they don’t see that you’re fucking sick in the head. they don’t see this, they don’t see that, and they especially don’t see you licking blood off your fingers when one of them gets a papercut.

to them you’re just the protective little y/n who sometimes does crazy shit but it’s “so cute when she gets like that.”

dumb fucks.

you’re a major creep, a certified weirdo, and a full blown psychopath, robbing them blind, but they’re too busy being hypnotized, charmed, to notice any of it.

they’re developing brutal crushes on you. not just horny crushes (though there’s plenty of that), they genuinely like you. they think you’re sweet, pretty, funny in your own way, and the fact that you’re creepy… they be turned ON.

one of your favs is how felix acts. his parents love you so they leave you two alone sometimes in the house, those times you usually sit in felix’s lap while he’s at his desk, headset on, playing.

you love feeling him get harder and harder, knowing he’s trying to focus on the game. he whimpers into the mic once and mutes himself so fast.

after the round he always pulls his headset off, face flushed, not knowing what to do. you always tell him he did good. once he actually had to go out for a smoke just because you got him feeling that much.

you also discovered that minho really likes your hand on his thigh. like daddy gets turned on. you keep using that. he’s dying to bend you over.

and oh, was this even a doubt, you keep killing for them.

whenever some stupid bitch or asshole gets too close. last week a girl at the bar kept buying jeongin shots and touching his arm. like you can’t blame her, he’s the dream man, but you still followed her to the bathroom, smashed her head into the sink until she stopped moving, then left her there.

you killed a girl who kept flirting with hyunjin and changbin. another who sent felix nudes on discord. a cashier that rung seungmin up with a flirty smile. another one that han accidentally looked at on the street. (tf, too much y/n, too much.) you’ll keep killing anyone who tries to take even a second of them away from you.

but deep down you’re all such pussies. all nine of you. they like you. a lot. but tell you? never. pussies. can’t grow the balls. and you’re the biggest pussy of all, you’re crazy in love, but you couldn’t tell them if your life depended on it.

you’re at han’s and minho’s place on a random night. han is in the bathroom shaving, door open because we know they’re comfy with you. he’s standing there in just sweatpants, chest a little little hairy but the point is that there’s no shirt, dragging the razor over his jaw. cutie.

“you’re gonna cut yourself if you keep making that face.” you mumble.

han smiles at you in the mirror, breathtakingly beautiful, foam on his upper lip. “then you gotta kiss it better, y/n.”

and this is what we just talked about, he gets shy. he wants to say more, you can see it, but he chickens out and goes back to shaving.

you end up being all over minho at the end of that day. just sitting with him. on him. whatever. he wants to tell you he likes having you here. he doesn’t. pussy.

another night you’re at felix’s house, on your stomach on his bed. his mom made cookies and felix brought the whole plate up for you. you’re eating them while felix plays on his expensive ass setup across the room. he keeps glancing over. it’s cute. you two are a great match. this CRAZY bitch and her loser little boyfriend.

“these are really good.” you tell him. “tell your mom thank you.”

“she likes you. keeps asking when you’re coming over again.” he wants to say i like you too, instead he just scratches the back of his neck and says “stay as long as you want, okay?” he’s beautiful.

you hang out at jeongin’s and he makes you sit on his lap while he rolls a cig. he wants to tell you he’s catching feelings, that it’s not just his dick talking. he chickens out and offers you the cig instead. you always decline. he likes that. strokes your hair like chan does sometimes when you fall asleep with them.

but oh, they’re not stupid. well… they are, but not completely. allat shit they didn’t notice had to catch up sooner or later. you carried that gun like it was a purse. you never seemed scared.

at first they brushed it off. but one night at chan’s place, after you left, the eight of them got into this thing we humans feel sometimes, this you can tell anything rn to your friends, so they kinda go with the feeling while passing around a blunt.

jeongin took a hit, exhaled slowly. “…yo. be real with me. y’all ever think y/n might’ve actually killed people before?”

silence.

then han let out a nervous laugh. “dude. what the fuck. why would you say that?”

“because that guy in the alley, she… didn’t react. looks like she does that shit on the regular. i mean it was hot or whatever but still.”

felix shifted uncomfortably. “i mean… she saved my life. i’m not complaining. but yeah. i’m not saying she’s out here murdering people but… yeah.”

changbin nodded. hummed. adorable little noise.

chan leaned back, rubbing his jaw. “look, if she really is… you know… doing shit… she’s doing it for us.”

hyunjin kept his mouth shut about the little ex story of yours he still thinks is true.

seungmin sighed. stopped the breath. sighed again. “i don’t know man… she scares me sometimes. but not in a bad way. it’s fucked up. like… hot.”

minho and changbin hummed. han looked around, kinda creeped.

they all looked at each other, a little freaked, a little hard, a lot confused.

jeongin looked… really boyish, inexperienced, suddenly. “but… she’s y/n. if she’s killed people… i don’t think i care.”

it’s… nasty. like that’s the best word, nasty, or sad, kinda. they kinda get off on the danger, knowing you might be a murderer makes you powerful in their eyes, it makes them feel chosen. protected. dominated. like they’re the center of your violent little universe.

it feeds their egos. hard. it turns them on because it’s taboo, because it’s fucked up, because deep down some of them have that same fuckedupness(so not a real word) they’ve never admitted out loud. they’re all a little sick in the head, after all, just not as much as you are. like they’re playing with fire and the fire wants to fuck them.

they don’t mind.

which brings us to that night on the dark street next to the forest. it’s just you, seungmin and hyunjin. you three were walking back from grabbing food when some random drunk asshole stumbles out of the trees, clearly fucked up, and starts running his mouth.

you clearly didn’t like that. your demeanor changed so fast. there we go, here it was again. it usually happens like this, when your real personality and the act switch. it happens fast, really… noticeable.

that’s how he got his face slammed into the nearest tree trunk with brutal force by you. once. twice. blood sprayed. guy screamed. you kneed him in the stomach, then when he doubled over you stomped on the back of his knee so hard something snapped.

seungmin and hyunjin froze.

the guy was on the ground groaning, bloody, pathetic when you stopped. it was okay. everything was okay now, right?

hyunjin’s voice (barely)came out quiet. “…y/n.” he swallowed hard. his heart was pounding. part of him was terrified. the bigger part was so turned on he felt dizzy. he wanted to see it. needed to see it. “just kill him. do it.”

seungmin’s eyes widened. he looked freaked, at hyunjin because dude what the fuck, then back at you, mouth opening but nothing came out. the way you looked right now… turned him on. he felt sick. he felt alive. in danger. he felt like he was watching porn.

you pulled the gun out, clicked something on it, pressed it to the back of the guy’s head, and pulled the trigger.

bang.

the body slumped.

silence.

hyunjin and seungmin stood there with their hands over their mouths, eyes wide. scared, terrified. traumatized, definitely.

you turned to look at them, gun now looser in your hand, face slowly softening back into that familiar shaky expression that you have shown them a hundred times now.

hyunjin stepped to you, always going to you. his knees felt weak but he caught you when your own legs buckled.

the adrenaline, the release, the fact that they saw you, fucked you up. your hands started trembling. you had the audacity to act like this. you sick fuck.

“fuck… y/n.” he whispered.

he was scared, he was horrified, but mostly he was so in love it hurt. you trusted them enough to show this. you killed for them without blinking. he felt ashamed. thrilled.

seungmin stood a few steps away, still covering his mouth. he was scared to death, really was, this wasn’t a game anymore. but the idea that you were this dangerous, that you were an actual threat, this loyal, this okay with it, it made him want to worship you.

hyunjin cupped your face with both hands, thumbs brushing your cheeks. “it’s okay. we got you. we fucking saw.”

then he kissed you.

it was messy, not how good he usually kisses, he felt too much then to. he’d been dying to do it for weeks. his tongue pushed into your mouth almost at the very start of it, needy, he needed to consume the violence you just showed him.

you whimpered into the kiss, knees completely giving out. he had to hold you up with one arm around your waist, the other still cradling your face, your hands fisted in his shirt.

seungmin watched for a bit, shocked, terrified, traumatized. answer to that? grabbed your waist, spun you so hyunjin would have to get off you, and seungmin also kissed you. teeth, tongue, a little biting on your bottom lip because oh his fucking god. he loves his crazy bitch. but there was desperation. his hands were shaking as they gripped your hips, holding onto you. breathing, muttering “shit… shit…” between kisses.

hyunjin leaned in again, kissing the corner of your mouth while seungmin was still kissing you. then their lips met too.

a nasty, sloppy three way kiss. tongue. so much spit. heavy breathing. moaning into it.

hyunjin was whimpering softly into it, one hand still holding you upright, the other gripping the back of seungmin’s neck. he felt overwhelmed. protective for you, with pure lust. he couldn’t tell which was which.

he was terrified of what you were capable of. he was so in love he wanted to cry. he wanted to fuck you right next to the fresh body.

seungmin was obviously overwhelmed, kissing with his mouth always open and panting into it, one hand sliding down to grip your ass. or at least he hoped it was yours. okay, didn’t care. it was yours, though.

he felt disgusting for how turned on he was, he knew this was wrong, so wrong, but that only made it hotter. you killed a man in front of them.

for them.

tears were running down your cheeks from how much you felt, the love, the relief that they didn’t leave you, the genuinely fucking sick and disgusting thrill that they told you to do it.

it was too much, too new for you. everytime their tongues touched yours or each other you made a little sound, you had to, you were basically sobbing into the kiss. oh how that affected them.

hyunjin pulled back, panting on your lips, lost in this feeling. “fuck, y/n, what are you?”

seungmin didn’t pull back at all. he licked into your mouth again. “doesn’t matter. just… don’t stop.”

you didn’t.

this was it. they knew. they saw. and they kissed you anyway.

the news spread fast. the second they got the group together (after helping you hide the body and washing the blood off your hands, normal couple shit), they told the others everything.

told them you did it, that they told you to, that you no hesitation did it, that you’ve actually done this before(a lot, probably), that they couldn’t fucking help making out with you after.

they knew what you were.

they wanted you more.

so… your relationship with each of them developed, of course.

jeongin was just sooooo impatient!! couldn’t wait, couldn’t let the relationship develop, immediately poured all his emotions into being physical. which means, two nights after he heard the news he dragged you into his bathroom during a party at his place, locked the door, and pushed you against the sink. pretty little mouth open, panting. kissed you then. it was sloppy from the start, really was. tongue, teeth, him grinding on you, hands all over you, he smiled into the kiss. you make him unable to think straight.

two weeks later in chan’s kitchen with chan, you were walking with one of his hoodies from the laundry(to put it into your bag) when he walked in. he, wordless, backed you against the counter, urgent, big hands on your waist, and kissed you. quiet little groans and all, really human, really a desperate man. you couldn’t speak, that’s how much you were shaking, how new the emotions were. he kind of got that, had the suspicion that you had a problem with emotions. liked you the same. made him kiss you harder.

then. few days later hyunjin took you to a walk in the woods(why? felt romantic. trusted you not to kill him), held your hand the whole way, then pushed you gently to a tree and kissed you so softly at first it made you smile and your face crumble. you were fragile emotionally, collapses like these happened easily. it turned hungry fast, him whimpering into your mouth, hands sliding under your shirt, groping, loving, desperate. you two could barely part.

changbin took you on a drive in his nice car, omfg that car, parked somewhere, and just talked for hours to you. you kissed him there in the passenger seat, sweet, slow, lots of little pecks that turned into him licking into your mouth with a shaky moan. that was hot.

you almost fucked him right there, you weren’t far from it, but he was clearly nervous(though he felt the energy too) so you gave him more time.

felix was next. just fucking happy to be a mess. he invited you over, the usual, you sat on his bed, watched him play.

but the little dumb fuck just couuuuuldn’t behave. “i know what you did. hyune told us everything. and i… i… it’s, uh. not… bad.”

unsure fuck. it was obviously hard for him to get those words out. wanted to confess his love first place, this came out.

you ended up kissing him on his bed. he was shy at first, soft little pecks, then got into it better, sliding his tongue in even though he barely ever did that and wasn’t good at it. he whimpered the whole time. especially when you two laid back on the bed.

han was nervous. he invited you over when minho was gone and spent twenty minutes being a shy little fuck. obviously had a plan but missed the balls to act on it.

so you took it into your own hands, held his pretty face and kissed him. he wasn’t good at it, clumsy, inexperienced, giggling nervously into your mouth at first, but then melted into it.

you’re so scary. he likes you so much.

minho visibly started touching you more. wanted you even more then. you were at their place watching a movie, he waited until han fell asleep on the couch, then pulled you into his room, closed the door, and kissed you to half death.

his heart was hammering.

he really, really liked you. the exact way you were.

seungmin was… conflicted. if that’s the right word. after that night in the woods he got weird and distant for a few days, then showed up at your door.

you kissed him in your doorway, just missed him too much not to. he grabbed your face almost roughly while kissing you, obviously not about the kissing technique but about being close close close to you. he pushed you inside, kicked the door shut, kissed you against the wall. desperate.

group hangouts turned romantic. brutally intimate. kisses stopped being private, you’d make out with one of them in the kitchen while another watched. they started touching you more openly, and if the other saw that, he also had to touch.

jeongin hit first.

you were barely through his door when he dropped to his knees right there in the hallway. yanked your jeans down with shaky hands, acting like a fucking animal, fighting your panties off.

lil bitch hooked one of your legs over his shoulder while you were still standing and buried his face in your pussy. (bush or no bush, reader’s choice jeongin’s fine w anything, though it’s a bit more realistic for reader’s character to be shaven just for expecting something like this)

he loves pussy. genuinely loves it.

you got eaten the fuck out. like hello he sucked clit. moaned into you. where did he learn this from? (dumb question, you can trace his whole life back anytime)

you had to grip his hair to stay upright. he slipped two fingers inside you too, curling them, searching around, tongue flicking. you came standing.

only then did he stand, wiped his shiny chin with the back of his hand, and dragged you to his messy bed. (never makes it.)

little asshole was really in the mood but still nervous. he fumbled the condom twice before rolling it on. the sound he made then was adorable. after he finally pushed inside you he slipped out on the first thrust because he was shaking so bad.

“shit— sorry, fuck, you feel too good.” he hissed.

second try was better. he fucked you sooo good, deep, wanting you so bad, both hands on your thighs. came with the sweetest moans ever.

he felt blessed. laid with you, tangled in each other as aftercare, patted your hair and was all in his head about the fact that you kill people and let him bury his face in your cunt. boy be in loooove. like so in love that he allowed big amounts of physical touch, he never did that with any of his hoes before.

hyunjin was next, a few nights later. of course, he was the “first”, after all. deserved it. would have been the first to dick you down too if jeongin wasn’t this fucking impatient.

you were at your place. he found your vibrator by accident while reaching for something in your nightstand, and his eyes lit up. tongue poked out from between his plush lips, the way you love it so much.

then he smiled, beautiful, ear to ear. “well well, baby.” oh he’s experienced. and made for you. “can i?” he asked.

of course, hyunjin.

and laid back on the bed you were.

“let me see.” he whispered.

he took his time. stripped you, kissed down your body, pouring all the love he had for you since you made him fall in love in that forest, then clicked the vibrator on and pressed it to your nipples first.

had fun. had lots of fun with it, with you.

kept on teasing your nipples with his mouth, moved the vibrator down to your clit. lowest setting. when you started squirming around he turned it up, watching your face. unbelievably in love with you.

he kissed down your stomach, made you cum while laying his face on your thigh. he looked like an angel.

he is an angel. questionable morals, maybe, not a good guy at heart, but where does that matter to you.

when he finally fucked you, he kept telling you how perfect you felt. really meant it, even through the condom. your personality got him so unbelievably worked up. his hair fell into his face. it was beautiful. fucked you missionary while holding eye contact. sweet. attached, since the woods.

he held you for hours after, stroking your hair. felt lucky. so lucky it’s unable to be expressed by human words. another one not big on physical touch, great first twos, but it was so emotionally significant to him, you were, that he simply didn’t feel any discomfort.

oh chan waited until you were staying the night at his place. fingered you on the couch first while he kissed your neck. he was nervous too, his hands trembled when he laid you on his bed, when he took your shirt off.

when he finally fucked you in his bed it was manly. can’t stress this enough, this is a man. held your hands above your head, eyes locked on yours or where he was disappearing into you. truly a tummy flipping experience. he slipped out once, cursed under his breath, then slid back in with a low “there we go, sweetheart.” that alone barely made you cum.

afterward he held you so tight you almost couldn’t breathe.

this man gets hard thinking about how crazy you are. it makes protecting you and being protected by you feel like the hottest power exchange. he’s sick, pathetic.

minho was next. and loud. it was so wet, so wild, so physical. fucked you against the wall in his room while han was out. like it was that wild, typa wild where you two had to do it on the wall. like one hand around your throat. hello??? when he came he buried his face in your neck and let out this long, shaky groan in that baby little voice. yes sir.

he’s crazy for his genuinely fucked up girlfriend.

changbin was nervous. baby boy took you on another drive, parked somewhere dark, and before he even touched you he went “i’ve never… with someone like you… i don’t wanna fuck this up.”

you ended up in the backseat. he ate you out for so long you lost count of time, and he was moaning and whimpering the whole time, sounds nonstop.

“fuck you taste so good… can’t stop, baby, please let me keep going.” okay no complaint here.

he couldn’t stop making sounds. fucked you good, kept making little “ah fuck” and “you feel so good” sounds. he came so loud you had to cover his mouth. what if bigfoot hears and he’ll hurt hyunjin while fucking him??

changbin can barely bear with his big boy feelings for you. it feels so grown up and such a real life situation that he ends up being crazy in love, not a little crush anymore, this man can see his kids with you.

han… fucking hell, han. first you barely had his tip in your mouth for thirty seconds before he was whining “wait wait i’m gonna—” and shooting down your throat with the most pathetic, beautiful moan.

he was so embarrassed he hid his face in a pillow for five minutes.

when he finally fucked you he lasted maybe three minutes(came with a horrified “shit—oh, oh, sorry—“), trembling around, but he ate you out after.

he’s gotten better since that… kinda.

he’s in awe that someone as scary as you lets him touch you. it makes him grateful, like wdym you kill(so badass)(no han, not badass, a fucking crime) and willing to bounce on his dick. he’s the luckiest alive.

seungmin was soft and sensual and lowkey a bottom. your first time with him was slow and intimate, he let you take control, laid back while you rode him, hands roaming your body. worshipping, really. this man saw you kill.

he moaned so pretty, kept his eyes on you the whole time. couldn’t look away. when you choked him a little he came so hard his eyes rolled back and he cried out.

he’s surprisingly submissive once clothes come off. skinny hips bucking up desperately, letting you use him however you want. he feels safest with you being in control, your violence outside the bedroom makes him want to surrender completely inside it.

felix was such a pillow princess about it. last one to get fucked too.

your first time was on his fancy bed. he was so overwhelmed he kept saying “holy shit” and “you’re so hot” while you sank down on him. he was shaking. you pinned his wrists above his head and rode him until he was whimpering and moaning and crying out and other colleagues, whole body damp, begging you. when he finally came he kinda cried.

felix is lowkey terrified of you and that terror makes him so… submissive. he loves being at the mercy of his murderer girlfriend. he’s genuinely so in love with your personality that he brags about you to everyone and everything, he’s dumb, but not dumb enough to let it slip that his beautiful girlfriend murders people, so it’s safe. kinda.

it’s the fact that you’re this sick in the head. that gets them so crazy. well, it’s not just a kink, it’s psychological, it’s a man thing in their heads. they feel chosen, protected. wanted in a way no normal girl could ever want them.

you could kill anyone else in the world but you choose to be like this with them. you kill for them.

they acknowledge this.

makes them crazy in love. it makes them feel like their pure nature, which, all eight’s, is just pathetic little boys, after all. it makes the sex better, it makes everything more intense.

minho is the one you enjoy sex with the most. lowkey the autistic bad bitches of the group. so perfect match.

when you fuck it’s intense, animalistic, and both of you get so loud it’s embarrassing. you’re always moaning and screaming, nails digging into his back, telling him to fuck you harder while your eyes roll back. what that does to that man? gets him two times louder.

the first time you two really let go, han knocked on the wall with a “you guys okay in there???”

two weird intense people at each other. he matches that unsettling energy you have(except you’re true evil and he’s just a little weird but whatever). best dick. best connection. no contest.

but of course you still love the others just the same!!

sex or no sex, you would truly die for them.

okay, but sex. like jeongin is unreal with his fingers. one night he had you bent over the couch, two fingers in your pussy and one slowly working into your ass while he ate you out from behind. he was weeeeirdly good at it. patient, lots of lube, murmuring “relax baby, i got you.” it felt good but strange. you’d already came three times before so your body just tapped out after half an hour. you whined “innie… can’t… too much” and he immediately stopped, kissed your back, you told him another time when you’re not spent. instant agree from him. he’s such a eager pussy lover it’s ridiculous.

chan has brutal kinks. even the lightest one is how he likes fucking you from behind with a hand fisted in your hair, spanking you, hard, leaving marks. genuinely railing you.

one time he edged you for almost an hour until you were sobbing and threatening to stab him. he laughed at you.

careful with aftercare though, truly all about you.

they’re truly addictive, that’s exactly why you’re always just needy as fuck.

they’re helpless.

one afternoon chan’s on a serious work call on his couch. who cares, you drop to your knees between his legs and start mouthing at his dick through his pants.

he glares down at you, mutters “give me one second” into the phone, then mutes it.

“y/n i’m in the middle of a fucking meeting—” he growls, hand in your hair.

you look up at him, battling your eyelashes.

he folds.

chan always folds, this is very important.

he ends up fucking your throat while still half paying attention to the call. slaps you when you gag so you’ll stay quiet.

or like poor felix is studying for a big test, books everywhere, stressed as fuck. you crawl onto his lap, grinding on him, tugging at his shirt.

“lixie, please, need you.”

he’s sweating. “baby i have this test in two days— fuck— okay just… just real quick.” he ends up bending you over his desk, fucking you fast while trying to read his notes over your shoulder. it’s fucking hilarious. this guy’s whole existence is hilarious.

or hyunjin is painting in his room, focused, music, whatnot. you come in, tugging at his sleeve, whining.

“baby i’m in the zone right now—” is what he goes on about until you shove your hand down his pants and he drops the brush.

ends up fucking you against the wall, moaning into your neck. you and your loud men against the world.

han is the easiest. you don’t even have to ask. you walk into his room while he’s gaming, tug his hair(no like that’s really all it takes), and he immediately drops the controller. “okay okay— fuck— hi baby.” he whines out, already pushing your panties aside.

jeongin is usually down but sometimes he’s also on the game. you sit on his lap facing him, grinding, holding his face and trying to turn it towards you, and he has the audacity to keep playing?? yeah lasts about four minutes before he throws the controller. “you need it right now? yeah? c’mere.”

changbin will literally pause whatever he’s doing. “you need me baby? okay, come here, i got you.” he’s the most… pathetic is not even the right word, most down for you.

seungmin’s nonchalant ass is the same mentally, but not on the outside. you tug at his shirt while he’s on his laptop, whining. he grumbles “i’m busy, y/n” but two minutes later he’s got you bent over the couch anyway. can’t say no to you.

none of them can. especially minho. he’s another who never even denies you first place, he’s the luckiest man alive for having you, after all. (you’re having him)

they love that their girlfriend is this sick. they really don’t feel bad about it, they’re dumb boys, they have zero ethics for this.

even if you… you come back bloody sometimes.

not every kill, but it does happen. they freak out. like their beautiful girlfriend has blood on her, lots.

chan usually recoils, eyes huge. “jesus fucking christ y/n—” he presses the back of his hand to his mouth because he might throw up.

he’s a normal guy at heart. blood belongs on scraped knees and paper cuts, the shit this sweetie grew up with with his perfect little life, not covering his beautiful girlfriend.

hyunjin gags, turning his head away for a second. “baby… there’s so much, fuck, it’s in your hair.”

felix looks genuinely green. “i can smell it. oh my god i can smell it.” he has to sit down on the couch and put his head between his knees for a minute.

jeongin’s face twists in pure disgust. “you look like you took a bath in the dude. that’s… that’s a lot of blood, babe. holy fuck.”

changbin actually looks like he’s fighting tears from how grossed out he is. “we need to get you cleaned up right now. like right now. i can’t— i can’t look at it too long.”

seungmin runs his hands down his face(imagine the oh my fucking god bro picture), turning away.

han makes a high nervous sound and hides behind minho, peeking out. and minho, looks nauseous. actually turning his face away.

they’re all disgusted by the blood, deeply. it makes their stomachs turn and their skin crawl, blood outside the body is supposed to be something wrong, well this is wrong.

none of that disgust ever touches their love for you.

not even a little.

they’re disgusted by the blood, genuinely grossed out, they’re normal ass boys who grew up with moms who made them wash their hands before dinner. blood is supposed to stay inside bodies. but never once are they disgusted by you. not even a little.

you earned this devotion.

…you, also, kinda soft launched that you liked them since the woods. well, soft launched it by not telling the whole story, just that oh you did almost end up taking up on their offer and did see them and they were cute then then ooooh sometimes you saw them around but were too much of a pussy to walk up to them… sure. they told you they don’t care. that they’re not mad. anyways, you also told hyunjin that you didn’t actually bury an ex. that they were your first boyfriends. he took it so good.

they love your ass too much to get creeped out by this.

and now that we’re at the ass topic, hyunjin literally loves your ass.

he’s always groping you. not even sexually always, you’ll be standing in the kitchen taking to one of the others and he squeezes a greedy handful while walking past, on his phone, combined with a little kiss on the side of your head. or while you’re watching something. while you’re brushing your teeth. both hands full of your ass. happy boy. content boy.

he eats it serious asf too. loves having you face down, ass up, tongue buried deep in your asshole while he moans like he’s the one getting eaten out(oh, that’s… a nice thought. you two will explore that later too). he once ate your ass for almost forty minutes straight until you were shaking and crying into the pillow.

jeongin is a close second place there. he’ll smack it everytime you walk past.

“can’t help it baby, it’s right there looking at me.”

chan loves gripping it hard when he fucks you from behind, big hands holding you, sometimes spreading you open while he rails you, his eyes rolling back at the combined feeling of you around him and in his hands.

the others ranked would be changbin then, minho, seungmin, han and then felix but only because he’s such a boob guy that it completely overpowers it.

they’re men.

you’re a predator. like an actual fucking predator, not human in your mental senses. you could kill anyone, you’ve proven it. but you chose them. in their boy brains that’s the ultimate compliment, it gets them so going, so attached to you.

nothing could ever turn them off when it comes to you. not the fact that you confess that you killed for them before, not the way you steal their things, not when you get overwhelmed.

last one happens a lot. because just again, you didn’t have real feelings before them. you told them that already.

so your emotional system is fucked up. like barely functional, that fucked up. when too many feelings wake up at once it just crashes you the fuck out and activates a fight or flight in your body. you’re weird then. they still love you.

to demonstrate these lil crash outs, let’s say you’re at felix’s house, sitting on his bed while he’s lying next to you. on his laptop. you’re watching his side profile, the perfect little nose he got so lucky with, that he’s shirtless and this flawless looking(you don’t care that he’s dumb) and then it makes your heart ache. this overwhelming wave of love and obsession and disbelief that this dreamy unreal dickhead is yours. all of them are yours.

and this feeling gets so hard these times that you have to so something about it. in this case, your hand grabs his skinny arm, pure adrenaline and sadness in your inexperienced body.

you squeeze, hard, shaking it a little, tears spilling down your pretty cheeks.

“whoa, whoa, y/n. hey, hey what the fuck—” his deep voice cracks as he turns to you, like imagine the voicecrack, eyes wide. he looks so panicked, one hand hovering. he doesn’t know whether to hug you or call an ambulance. “baby what’s wrong? did i do something? are you hurt? talk to me.”

“eeeeeeeeeeee—”

“eee what??”

dipshit.

you keep squeezing his arm and vibrating.

he eventually just pulls you on top of him, arms wrapping around you. “okay. okay. you’re okay. i’m here. breathe or… keep doing this. that’s fine too.”

he almost shit himself from fear. this boy was genuinely made for you.

all of them were.

or like with hyunjin you’ll be cuddling and suddenly the love hits so hard you bury your face in his neck and squeeze him as tight as you can, squealing around.

hyunjin usually rubs your back. he loves when you do this on him, makes him feel needed.

chan lets you hit him those times, maybe it’ll help. never does. settles with caressing your back and arms until you calm down. dada knows how to handle you. his psycho gf.

minho is the best at it, absolutely. he hums to you, or when in bed, wraps his arms and legs around you. lets you shake and cry and make whatever noises you need to. it’s an amazing solution.

changbin just wants to provide for you then. gets worried every single time but calms down real soon because he knows you’ll calm down too, that you’re fine, that you’re just a little… new to this. he can offer you ice cream he bought only for you(saw it in movies, that’s why it’s so simple) and getting all eight of them in one bed. he’ll list shit he could do for you, not shutting the fuck up while you’re having a meltdown on his chest.

oh seungmin is just a softie for his sick little gf. you grabbed his shirt once and started shaking while he was trying to cook. he sighed, turned the stove off, and just pulled you to him. “you’re so fucking weird… c’mere.” he lets you cling to him until it passes.

han panics. han’s dumb. han tries his best tho. ends up just hugging you so tight you can barely breathe while making nervous little noises with you, rocking, bouncing you a little. the little bug he is.

jeongin finds it hilarious. even more adorable. you once climbed on top of him while he was playing something, grabbed his face with both hands and just stared at him intensely while tears ran down your cheeks. he paused the game immediately.

“well hello. you good or are we having another crash?”

you just nodded and kissed him stupid. he smiled into your mouth. you love the smell of his skin.

they know now that your brain literally didn’t have this much feeling before them. sometimes it’s love so strong it feels like pain. sometimes it’s fear that something will happen. sometimes it’s just pure overwhelming joy. sometimes it’s having to slap on hyunjin’s chest(he always takes it) and telling him to not go into the woods because bigfoot will fuck him(he never understands what you’re on about). sometimes it’s sadness and going crazy and having to rip your two arms off yourself then stumble into their chests.

and they deal with it so well. surprisingly well. that’s because they’re truly wired with you. crazy little connection y’all got there.

they never get tired of it either, if anything they seem proud bc c’mon they’re the ones who finally made the emotionless girl feel something. it feeds their egos. they did that. they cracked your heart open and… cracked you in general. lmfao.

they could never love you less.

never. ever.

you earned this for yourself. you made this. you got yourself this little harem.

and there is no other women for them now.

only y/n.

author’s note: me di un beso de tres tiktok trend on y/n hyunjin and seungmin NOW. also reader is a horrible person, never do this guys ever ever, i’m so serious. if you do shit like this you’re a creep. this is a story made for appeal and entertainment and was requested but doing it irl is seriously too much. anyways han part two is coming i’m sorry for the long wait for that :(

The guard barked out a startled laugh while Michael grinned to himself beneath the brim of his hat. And just like that, security stepped aside enough to let her approach.

That tiny moment probably changed everything.

Because most people never got close enough to Michael organically anymore. Access to him had become curated by layers of protection and paranoia. Entire teams existed specifically to filter human interaction before it ever reached him.

But Michael chose her immediately, not fully consciously maybe. Just instinctively, curiosity more than anything at first.

She stepped near the table, close enough now that he could properly see her expression beneath the club lights.

Still not nervous.

That fascinated him too.

Most women became visibly affected once they actually stood in front of him. Either intimidated or performative. But she looked almost entertained instead.

Then she leaned down slightly so he could hear her over the music and asked: “Do you wanna dance or are you just gonna sit here lookin’ mysterious all night?”

Michael laughed instantly. A real laugh too—bright and unguarded enough that even security glanced over surprised because people rarely tickled him like that anymore.

And Michael loved teasing. Loved boldness. Loved people willing to pull him out of himself instead of carefully orbiting around his fame.

“Do you always walk up to strangers like this?” he asked her.

“Only the pretty ones.”

Ough. That got him again. He ducked his head immediately smiling into his hand in that shy embarrassed way he still had despite decades of global fame.

“What’s your name?” Oh, he’s so, so tickled by her. He hasn’t been asked that in.. decades but he likes how it feels.

“Michael.” He says shyly.

“I’m (Name).”

And from there, everything happened strangely naturally.

She slid into the booth beside him like she belonged there already while Michael found himself more relaxed within ten minutes than he’d been all night. They talked between music and flashing lights while he kept catching himself staring at her whenever she wasn’t looking. She was beautiful, yes. But she interacted with him normally and that was rare enough to feel intoxicating.

She interrupted him. Challenged him. Rolled her eyes when he got dramatic. At one point she grabbed his restless hands off the table and told him to stop fidgeting so much.

Michael stared at her afterward completely thrown by the casual touch. Nobody touched him casually anymore either. Everything in his life had become loaded and handled carefully, filtered through status and fear and fame.

But her hand around his felt easy somehow, so.. natural.

And maybe that was the real reason he got attached so quickly afterward. Because for one night inside a loud crowded nightclub, she made him feel reachable again.

At first, almost nobody knew and that was intentional.

Michael had become deeply protective over the private parts of his life by then because experience had taught him what public attention did to anything soft. Fame didn’t just observe relationships. It distorted them. Pulled them apart at the seams. Turned ordinary affection into spectacle.

So for the first couple months, their relationship existed mostly behind tinted windows and locked gates.

Late night phone calls stretching until sunrise (that phone was HOT). Private dinners at hotels rented out entirely for security reasons. Her falling asleep curled against him during movie nights at Neverland while he absentmindedly played with her fingers, he couldn’t stop touching her once he got used to her there.

And the strange thing was how quickly Michael attached emotionally once he realized she was safe. Michael had spent most of his adult life surrounded by people who wanted pieces of him. His fame created this constant uncertainty around human intention. Everybody wanted something eventually. Access. Money. Proximity. Validation. Stories.

But she seemed startlingly uninterested in exploiting him and that sincerity affected him deeply. Probably deeper than he intended.

Within months, she had clothes permanently left in his closets. Her favorite snacks started appearing stocked automatically in his kitchens. Staff learned her routines. Security stopped treating her like a visitor and started treating her like part of Michael’s orbit.

And Michael himself became softer around her in ways even people close to him noticed immediately: lighter. More openly affectionate. He smiled differently when she entered rooms. And that was the first thing people picked up on, not the age gap or even the relationship itself But his happiness, ut radiated off him too obviously.

The problem was that happiness only intensified media obsession once rumors started leaking publicly. At first tabloids framed her like a passing fling. Young nightclub girl catches Michael Jackson’s attention. Something temporary. Disposable. The kind of story gossip magazines churned through weekly.

But then the sightings kept happening.

New York.

Vegas.

Paris.

She appeared beside him consistently enough that speculation hardened into narrative. And suddenly the age difference became the centerpiece of every conversation because it disrupted people’s emotional image of Michael.

The public had always struggled categorizing him properly. He existed in this strange place culturally where people simultaneously infantilized and demonized him. To some, he still seemed emotionally frozen somewhere younger than his actual age. To others, he was mysterious enough to project danger onto automatically.

So dating a significantly younger woman made people deeply uncomfortable in ways that had less to do with the relationship itself and more to do with what Michael represented psychologically to the public.

And the scrutiny became relentless.

Everywhere they went, cameras zoomed in on the difference between them. The way she dressed beside him. The age in her face compared to the exhaustion in his. Reporters started asking subtly cruel questions disguised as curiosity.

“What do you two even talk about?”

“Does the age gap create insecurity?”

“Do her parents approve?”

As if she weren’t a grown woman sitting right there.

Michael hated that part immediately, not criticism directed at him. He’d learned to survive that years ago. But criticism directed at her unsettled him badly because unlike him, she hadn’t spent decades building emotional armor around public cruelty. Michael understood fame as violence already. Understood how dehumanizing it became once millions of strangers decided they owned opinions about your personal life.

She was still learning that and Michael watched it harden her in real time over those months.

The comments online. The tabloid photos.

The headlines reducing her into stereotypes: Gold digger. Groupie. Child. Manipulator. Victim. Just to name a few.

The world couldn’t decide whether she was exploiting him or being exploited by him, so they accused her of both simultaneously.

One night after paparazzi followed them through an airport aggressively enough to leave her visibly shaken, Michael found her crying privately inside the hotel suite afterward. Just silent tears while she sat curled on the edge of the bed staring down at her hands.

Michael’s chest practically caved in seeing it.

Because the thing people misunderstood most about him was how emotionally absorbent he was. Other people’s pain affected him almost too deeply. Especially people he loved.

And by then, he loved her. That was obvious now. Michael loved with frightening intensity once he fully trusted somebody.

He crossed the room immediately and crouched in front of her, hands sliding gently around hers.

“Hey,” he whispered softly.

She wiped at her face quickly. “I’m okay.”

Michael frowned instantly because he recognized the lie for what it was. “No.. you’re not.” The tenderness in his voice nearly made her cry harder.

“I just..” She swallowed shakily. “I didn’t know people could hate somebody they don’t even know this much.”

Michael went very still after that because unfortunately, he did know. Intimately and probably more than almost anybody alive. His thumb brushed slowly across her knuckles while he searched quietly for words.

Then finally: “They don’t know you.”

The simplicity of it made her look up.

Michael’s eyes looked exhausted in the dim hotel lighting. Sad too. But calm in the way people become calm after surviving cruelty too long.

“Not me,” she said softly. “you.”

Then his expression shifted slightly, becoming gentler again as he looked at her. “Me?”

“People are so mean to you, I cannot stand it.”

The room went still, completely still. Michael was used to people crying over what fame did to them. The pressure. The media. The chaos surrounding his life.

But nobody ever cried for him, not really in this way.

She looked genuinely heartbroken on his behalf now, tears slipping down her face while she spoke.

“They treat you like you aren’t human,” she whispered. “Everywhere we go people stare at you and say awful things and you still keep being so kind to everybody anyway and I just..”

Her voice broke apart and Michael couldn’t speak for a second as something in his expression changed completely.

Softened? Opened? Like her words had reached someplace in him untouched for years.

Because admiration wasn’t rare in his life. Love wasn’t even rare.

But this? This.. was different.

She grieved for him.

For the loneliness of his life. For the cruelty surrounding him. For the exhaustion he carried so quietly all the time.

And suddenly Michael realized with terrifying clarity that he wanted this woman beside him forever. She saw the human being underneath all the mythology and loved him with almost painful sincerity.

Michael lifted his hand slowly to her face then, brushing tears beneath her eyes with his thumb while looking at her like she’d just unknowingly handed him something sacred.

“You’re so sweet..” He says with a small smile before he leans over to place a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll be okay.. don’t cry, too pretty to cry..”

He went ring shopping the next day.

being comfortable with your sexuality isn't easy, especially in the 1980s. few people knew that you were attracted to girls. if you had the misfortune of saying it in public or even to your friends, it was hard to escape the stares or the nasty comments.

however, there was one person who didn’t judge you for it; on the contrary, he couldn’t have cared less—michael. you met a few years ago when your mothers were extremely close friends. when you had to tell him you liked girls, he was more concerned with his monkey than with your sexuality, and that showed just how open-minded he was and that you could trust him—as if he’d already suspected it.

still, sometimes he acted as if he didn’t believe you, as if it were just a phase. he’d ask, “have you ever been in a relationship with a guy? even just once?” or “how did you know you liked girls?”. even so, he was a true friend you could trust completely.

████████

it was a summer evening; michael was home alone, since his family had gone to visit relatives who lived far away (he’d made up an excuse that he had to finish some recordings). as usual, he’d invited you to spend the night, just like the good best friends you two are.

you spent the early part of the evening playing twister, watching that charlie chaplin movie for the tenth time, and listening to music. then, as night fell, the atmosphere became much calmer and more soothing. you were settled on the living room couch, a tub of vanilla ice cream in your hand, while michael watched tv without really paying attention; you were in the middle of a gossip session—or at least, your session.

“so i asked who his ex was…” you took a bite of ice cream before finishing your sentence. “it was the girl from the movie!” you dramatized it by mimicking an expression.

“so the guy from the supermarket is dating the girl from the movie theater, who used to date the guy from the gas station?” he asked, summarizing the story and showing that he’d been paying attention after all. you nod before picking up a spoon again ; “what a story, huh…”.

even though he’d listened to your whole story—as he usually does, since he really enjoys it when you tell him all your silly stories and girl gossip—he seemed lost in thought. you noticed his behavior pretty quickly, so you took another bite before asking him if everything was okay.

"you look deep in thought. is something bothering you?”

“why do you like girls?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

you widened your eyes for a moment, surprised by the suddenness of his question, which had nothing to do with the original conversation.

“huh..i don’t know…i guess it’s my heart that decides ?” you simply answer, given that the question seems unexpected and, above all, complicated ; “why you ask?”.

“i don’t know… it doesn’t seem possible to just like the same sex out of the blue—there’s gotta be a reason, right?” at first, one might think he was trying to understand it from an emotional perspective and perhaps learn more about the subject.

“i find girls more attractive, and i’ve never felt that way about boys, so i guess i prefer girls?” you laugh nervously, still a little thrown off by the absurdity of the question and its lack of substance.

as he heard for your answer, he turned to look at you with a surprised expression and furrowed his brow; “haven’t you ever found a guy attractive?”.

“yes, but not to the point of being sexually attracted to him” you said.

“so is being a lesbian just about sex?"

“no…well… it’s attraction and sexuality.”

“so if you sleep with a guy one day, does that mean you become straight?”

you shrugged, confused by the turn the conversation had taken ; “no? i don’t know, i’ve never slept with a guy.”

“never?"

"no, never."

"has it ever crossed your mind to try it? not necessarily for love or anything."

"no…i don’t think i’ve ever wanted to… "

"maybe you just haven’t met the right one."

"i just told you i don’t like men…" you sigh softly.

"but you haven’t even tried? how can you know if you don’t like it?"

he seemed irritated, almost annoyed that she’d say no. you find that weird, and it makes you dig in your heels even more.

“haven’t you ever wanted to try… at least… to see what it’s like? it must be different with girls, you know?” he looks at you more insistently, as if trying to make you understand and convince you.

“i don’t know… maybe? i’ve never thought about it…” you reply simply, taking another bite of your vanilla ice cream, which has started to melt.

you could feel the tension in the room shifting drastically and the atmosphere growing heavier.

“would you like to try it?” he asked, his gaze still fixed on you as he turned toward you.

“like , right now?” you asked in turn.

“i don’t know… whatever you want?”

you swallowed hard before realizing what you’d just heard. “are you asking me if i want to sleep with you, michael?”

“i just asked if you wanted to try it with a guy!”

"yeah, and you’re the guy!” he looked away, embarrassed and completely caught off guard. he’d just shot himself in the foot and put himself in a tricky situation.

“listen…” he began, turning down the TV so you could hear him better; “i know you like girls, that you’re apparently into girls, that maybe it was just a phase or whatever… that you wanted to keep your heart safe…” he paused before leaning closer to you, with a more determined and confident look.

“i know you're my best friend, that you like girls—or whatever you like—but i can't pretend anymore...”. he put his hands together lightly and looked at you with a pleading expression. “i beg you, at least let me show you what it’s like with me… please…”

your heart skipped a beat, and you felt a warmth rise in your stomach. did you just see what you saw? your best friend begging you to sleep with him?

“michael...”

“if you don’t like it, we’ll never do this again. at least you’ll be sure you like girls… i beg you… just tonight…”. his gaze grows more intense and pleading."

damn. you started to feel that sensation—a sudden dampness between your legs. the image of michael begging you to make love to him, trying to come up with an excuse to justify it…seemed more appealing than anything else.

you took a moment to look at his lips before gently moving closer to him.

“just for tonight?”

“yes.”

you nodded, and immediately he pounced on your lips, holding your face with the hands he’d used to beg you before. at first it was a chaotic, meaningless kiss, then it began to grow more intense, more passionate. in the heat of the moment, you slipped your tongue into his, and he let out a soft moan that made your core throb.

his hands move from your cheeks down to your neck, then he begins to run them all over you, as if he were exploring new territory—the curves of your body. feeling the warmth of his hands, you let out a soft moan into his mouth, which made him feel even tighter in his pants. he placed his hands on your hips and then gently pushed you onto your back on the couch. positioned on top of you, he continues to kiss you passionately, like a common cat in heat.

michael kissed his way down your jaw with a kind of reverence that made your breath catch, slow and deliberate, like he wanted to memorize every inch of you before moving on. hid hands traced your waist, your hips, your thighs—never rushed, never careless—touching you as if your body was something precious, something holy.

“you have no idea what you do to me,” he murmured against your skin, voice rough with want.then he looked up at you—really looked at you—with that aching, desperate expression that made your stomach twist.

like worship, like he’d spend hours right there if you let him.

he pressed lingering kisses along your stomach, each one softer than the last, his grip tightening on your thighs as though he couldn’t believe you were here, beneath him, letting him have you like this. every touch was hungry but patient, yearning in the way only someone utterly undone by you could be.

“you’re beautiful,” he whispered, almost like a confession.

and when his mouth found your skin again, lower this time, your fingers tangled in his hair instinctively. he groaned at the contact, the sound vibrating through you, and the look he gave you after—half devotion, half desperation—made heat flood straight through your body.

he wanted to take his time, wanted to make you fall apart slowly. wanted to hear every sound you made and drag each one from your lips like it was a prayer. he lifted his head just enough to look at you again, and the expression on his face nearly ruined you—like devotion had taken human form and settled into his bones. like he could spend the rest of his life beneath your touch and still die wanting more.

his thumbs stroked slow circles into the inside of your thighs, soothing and possessive all at once, and when you shifted beneath him—restless, needy—he let out the softest, most tortured sound, forehead dropping briefly against your skin as if the sight of you unraveling for him was almost too much to bear.

“god,” he whispered, voice wrecked. “look at you.”

not cocky, not teasing, awed .

as if he genuinely couldn’t believe he was allowed to have you like this. he kissed your thigh with unbearable tenderness, then another, each press of his mouth lingering long enough to make your pulse stutter. his hands never stopped touching you—stroking, holding, grounding—like he needed constant proof that you were real, that this wasn’t some fever dream he’d wake up from aching over.

“you don’t understand,” he said, almost breathless, words muffled against your skin. “i think about you all the time, about this. about making you feel good….i love you so much oh my god…all these months i tried to hide it…"

your fingers tightened in his hair, and he shuddered, actually shuddered.

the reaction seemed to tear something loose in him, because suddenly he was pressing desperate kisses everywhere he could reach—your stomach, your hips, the sensitive inside of your thighs—like restraint was slipping through his fingers one thread at a time.

every touch said the same thing ;please let me…let me worship you the way i’ve wanted to for so long.

when he looked up again, his lips swollen from kissing, his eyes dark and glassy with want, there was something almost pleading in his expression.

“tell me if it’s too much,” he murmured. “tell me if you want me to stop.”

but the way his hands trembled where they held you gave him away completely. he was already gone. already lost to you.

and when you answered by pulling him closer, by threading your fingers deeper into his hair and parting for him with a breathless sound, the broken moan he let out sounded almost reverent, like you’d given him the thing he wanted most in the world.

he kissed the inside of your thigh like a vow. slowly. deliberately. as though every press of his mouth was an act of devotion, something sacred, something he wanted you to remember later when your pulse had steadied and the room had gone quiet.

his hands held you gently but firmly, thumbs stroking absentminded patterns into your skin as if he needed the contact as much as he needed air. when you trembled beneath him, he made that ruined little sound again—half groan, half prayer—and turned his face into you for a moment like he was overwhelmed by the simple fact of being allowed this close.

“you have no idea,” he whispered, voice frayed at the edges, “how long i’ve wanted this.”

he looked up once more, eyes dark with hunger but softer than they had any right to be—too open, too earnest, too devastating in the way yearning always is when it’s laid bare.

then he buried himself in you with reverence. not rushed. never rushed. he treated every gasp he drew from you like a reward, like something precious; every shift of your hips seemed to make him even more undone, more desperate in that quiet, pathetic way of a man who had spent too long wanting and was now being trusted with the thing he’d ached for.

his grip tightened when you tangled your fingers in his hair. the sound he made at that—muffled, wrecked, shamelessly pleased—sent heat straight through you.

“that,” he murmured against your skin, breathless and adoring, “do that again.” and when you did, he all but melted. he let you guide him without protest, without pride, following every movement like he’d gladly let you ruin him if that was what you wanted. there was something almost embarrassingly earnest in the way he devoted himself to it—like making you fall apart beneath him was not just desire but purpose.

as if your pleasure was the only thing in the room that mattered. as if he would stay there for hours if you asked.

“you’re so beautiful like this,” he whispered, drunk on the sight of you. “god—look at you. letting me—”

his voice broke off into another wrecked sound when you arched beneath him, and whatever composure he had left seemed to vanish entirely. from then on there was no pretending he was in control of himself; every movement, every touch carried that same desperate worship, that same aching devotion of someone who could never quite believe they’d been chosen.

and when you finally came apart with his name on your lips, he held you through it like something precious, like something holy—like the trembling of your body in his hands was the closest thing to religion he had ever known.

when he rose back up to kiss you, dazed and flushed and smiling like he’d been given the stars themselves, he rested his forehead against yours and laughed softly under his breath.

you were still breathless when he kissed his way back up to her, slower now—soft, almost shy, as though the urgency had burned itself into something gentler and infinitely more dangerous. because this was no longer just want. this was tenderness. the kind that made your chest ache.

he pressed his forehead to yours, smiling in that dazed, helpless way of someone who had just been handed something they never thought they’d deserve. his hands stayed at your waist, not possessive now, simply there—warm and grounding and careful, as if he was afraid you might vanish if he let go.

“you okay?” he whispered. you laughed weakly, still trying to catch your breath. “more than okay.” the look on his face was almost enough to destroy you. he stared at you like your happiness had become the axis his world turned on. and suddenly, horribly, devastatingly, you understood.

the way michael had looked at you all night. the way he had touched you like reverence and longing wrapped into one. the way every kiss had felt less like desire and more like devotion. this wasn’t casual to him. it had never been casual.

something tight and terrified unfurled in your chest. he must have seen the shift in your expression, because his smile faltered immediately.

"what?” he asked softly, too softly. “did i—did i do something wrong?”

“no,” you said at once, reaching for him. “no, it’s not that, i just—” your voice caught. because how were you supposed to say it? how were you supposed to explain that your entire understanding of yourself felt like it was tilting on its axis because this man, this sweet, pathetic, yearning man who looked at you like you hung the moon, had somehow slipped past every wall you’d ever built?

he went very still beneath your touch. and then, in the quietest voice imaginable, like he was confessing something shameful, he said ; "i know.”

you blinked. “know what?”

his laugh came out strained and self-deprecating. “that this complicates things for you.” he looked away then, jaw tight, like forcing the words out hurt. “i know what you’ve said about yourself. i know who you are. i know this probably doesn’t make sense and i never wanted to be the person who made things harder for you—”

“hey,” you interrupted, cradling his face until he looked at you again. “stop.” his eyes were already glassy with too much feeling. too much hope he clearly thought he didn’t deserve.

“i didn’t mean for this to happen,” he whispered. “i tried not to—i tried so hard not to—” his breath hitched. and then, with all the helplessness of a man who had lost this battle long ago:

“i love you.” the room went still. his whole body seemed to tense afterward, like he regretted saying it the second it left his mouth—like he was bracing for heartbreak.

but all you could do was stare at him. because every terrifying, impossible thing inside you suddenly made sense.

the fear, the ache, the fear, the unbearable tenderness clawing up your throat.

“oh,” you whispered.

his face crumpled slightly, misunderstanding at once. “you don’t have to say it back, i know this is—”

“no,” you said, almost laughing through the tears stinging your eyes. “no, idiot, that’s not—” you kissed him hard enough to cut him off. he made the most broken sound into your mouth. when you pulled back, your hands were shaking where they held his face.

“i love you too.”

he stared, blankly, like his brain had simply stopped functioning.

“you…what?”

you laughed then, helpless and giddy and terrified all at once. “i love you too, michael."

his entire face collapsed into raw, disbelieving joy.

“don’t joke about that,” he breathed, voice cracking. “please don’t joke about that, i’ll actually die.”

“i’m not joking.”

he made a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh before crushing you against him, burying his face in your neck like the force of loving you had physically overwhelmed him.

“you love me,” he kept murmuring, disbelieving, wrecked. “you love me? you love me?”

“yes michael.” you smiled into his mouth when he kissed you again. he grinned against your lips, helplessly, brilliantly happy.

“good,” he said. “because i’m never getting over this. ever.”

from now on, you're going to wake up to two pieces of news: you're bisexual, and you're dating your best friend….

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