starkov

where’s the alina content u cowards (aka king of scars sentence starters) // @oflegendaries

Hearing Genya speak like this was chilling to Alina. Her friend was usually so bright, so exuberant. Alina could fill a room with literal light, but it was Genya who brightened everywhere she went. It felt like someone had turned off her lamp, or blown out her candle, and there was nothing Alina could summon to make it return.

And she could empathise, she had ventured into swathes of shadows only she could light, she had crossed seas to capture creatures only she could trap. She was absolutely terrified the entire time, and her only comfort was herself. Now, she far preferred to stay in the company of others, to let troubles be collective rather than solitary. 

There was unimaginable comfort in knowing you weren’t alone, and unimaginable fear in knowing you were.

So she held out her hand for her friend to hold, though she knew that it wasn’t enough, that in many ways, it could never be enough, and they both had to find some way to cope with that, to cope with the idea that no matter how much you wished to help, you couldn’t always do so.  

where’s the alina content you cowards (aka king of scars sentence starters) // @oflegendaries

There were many hiding places in the Little Palace, and even after all her time here, Alina was still not aware of them all. Even after all her time wandering at night and searching during the day, so much of it was still hidden to her. So when Genya told her to follow, she followed, because she trusted her friend, and because curiosity often got the better of her.

The floors were cold beneath Alina’s bare feet, because though she knew she shouldn’t treat the entire Little Palace like it was her bedroom, she’d grown accustomed to doing so over the years. 

Besides, it was nice feeling like she was sneaking around with Genya as if they were both still just young girls with indeterminate futures, not two of the people in charge of the fate of their country and the people within it. In all truth, Alina really did need a place to hide when she was frightened, because having that much power always scared her just a little. She had seen how power could change people at their very core. She’d seen the difference in herself too, she had seen how close she had gotten to letting the corruption that power could have rend her whole mind. Now, she lay awake at night, thinking of how to keep herself in check. 

where’s the alina content u cowards (aka king of scars sentence starters) // @oflegendaries

The thing about Genya, was that even though you might expect her specialty to be changing appearances, she was so good at changing how you thought on the inside too. She encouraged, listened, and gave Alina confidence that she didn’t know she had.

But the issue here, was that she would have to believe herself just a little bit saintly, and that is where her acting fell short.

Because it is very, very, difficult to see yourself as the possible saviour of your country when you know how hard the saving will be. When you lie awake at night wondering if the power at your fingertips really can spread across your country’s not-quite-coastline. Whether it was the darkness or light inside of her that would win out in the end.

Genya had made her look the perfect matyr for the event, eyes bright and curious, rather than sleep deprived and sallow. She’d dressed Alina so that she looked fit to be royalty, rather than disheveled and unravelled. Yes, Alina did look the part, but convincing a room of ambassadors and religious figures that she was the saint they had been led to believe would be far more difficult. 

Particularly because she didn’t quite believe it herself.

where’s the alina content u cowards (aka king of scars sentence starters) // @ghezenblessed

In terms of attending Little Palace functions, on a scale of David to Genya, Alina was probably in the middle. She didn’t really mind parties, in fact, she often could like them. It depended on who would be there, how long the event would last, and whether herring would be on the menu.

The last criteria could truly make or break a party. 

But seeing the way Wylan’s eyes seemed to light up at the prospect of a real Little Palace ball, Alina felt excitement bubble up in her too.

She recognised the look in his eyes from the way she had looked on the night of her first real Little Palace gala. She hoped he’d feel as dazzled as she had. Minus the politics, treachery and escape attempt later that night.

She was determined to be for Wylan who Genya had been for her. Minus the trying on the Queen’s clothes. Though she guessed that could be arranged if necessary. It had been fun after all.

where’s the alina content u cowards (aka king of scars sentence starters) // @magicstarved

It hurt when someone you loved hurt. It hurt when they had no avenue to admit that they were hurt. It had always been that way.

You pricked someone she loved, and Alina bled.

Alina was fine with most of the rumours that swirled from the Grisha guard, from the First Army Soliders . She was fine with being called the Darkling’s whore, with hearing whispers of her as Nikolai’s mistress, because she knew above all else, that she wasn’t the men that others would attach her to. 

Not everyone would consider her a saint, and she was self aware to not want that of everyone. 

Yet when the rumours turned away from Alina, when the whispers of bastards and whores and villains long gone were not aimed at her, her hands couldn’t help but ball into fists, and hold them there until the anger was over. Often, marks from where her nails had been held stiff remained until the next morning. 

Yet this time, she could not hold her breath. The whispering voices were hitting a part of her heart that had remained long hidden, and it stung like nothing you would believe. 

When she was a part of the First Army, the bigger soldiers never expected her to talk back. Now she was in the palace, people expected her to act like the saint they thought she was. No one expected a short and grumpy girl to throw her fist at their jaw.

The crack that had resounded was the unpleasant sound of Alina’s knuckles breaking against the solider’s chin, bone catching on bone. As she pulled her hand away, both satisfied and shocked at what she had done, Alina paled. She had faced kings and queens, wrestled with monsters both familiar and foreign, and it took seeing her bleeding hands to make her think she had gone too far. Now, she was sitting with Tamar, who seemed to be both protecting Alina, and stopping her from going and finishing the job she started.

Tamar’s presence was calming to Alina, but not the soft calm one would expect of a friend, the kind of calm you felt when sitting on a rock face looking out at sea. The kind of calm you knew would never waver. 

where’s the alina content u cowards (aka king of scars sentence starters) // @magicstarved

Alina begrudgingly obeyed her mentors order, and not even that begrudgingly, because as much as she pretended not to, Alina had an overwhelming amount of respect for Baghra. 

Not that she would ever let her mentor know. Alina would rather have Baghra catch her dancing naked in the Little Palace gardens than admit that she owed so much to the old woman before her, because like it or not, Baghra had shaped Alina into a force to be reckoned with, and if Alina had not met her, perhaps she would still struggle to call a sunbeam. 

Perhaps, she would still need the Darkling’s knife to cut her to make her answer the call of the sun inside her. 

But never mind that thought, because she could answer her power, the call and response that summoned the sun came easily now, and so she called, allowing sunlight to fill the hut, even though the moon was bright outside.

As for why Baghra thought she was stupid? That could just be considered her mentor’s predisposition where Alina was concerned.

where’s the alina content u cowards (aka king of scars sentence starters) // @ghezenblessed​

Alina had many feelings about explosives. She thought they were cool, exciting and very useful, as long as she was far, far, away from them. Considering she was standing right next to Wylan and his explosives kit, her thoughts were more along the lines of, run away as fast as possible or die.

Yes, she knew that they were perhaps on the brink of a discovery, if she was just brave enough to light Wylan’s way as he blew a hole in the side of the Petrazoi mountain range. There were likely some artefacts, or a tunnel, or perhaps even a secret chamber that could reveal the answers she had been searching for. The answers as to why she could summon the sun, the answers as to how and why Grisha power was the way it was, answers so ancient, to questions so ancient. 

In the years after the civil war, Alina had been examining herself. She had been wondering why she was the way she was. She had truly been listening to the questions she had asked herself on the day she had discovered her powers. I can’t be Grisha. How? How does this all work? Why me? 

Questions that had bothered her for a week, disappeared, and resurfaced what felt like a lifetime later.

And yes, she wasn’t expecting a straight answer, she wasn’t expecting a neat book explaining the connection she and many others had to the world around them, but maybe a journal of a ‘saint’ like herself from times past, maybe a statue that she could examine for clues, maybe anything to offer clues into both the past and future. 

So she steadied herself, because her hunger for answers was greater than her fear of obliteration, looked Wylan dead in the eyes and nodded.

i have been thinking about this verse, and Alina’s possible role in post war Ravka. Of course, Alina would help the Triumvirate, she’d offer strategic advice, and also heavily advocate for those whose lives were destroyed by the civil war, she knows how it feels to have war tear you from your home and family, after all. She’d sit with Nikolai in boring meetings and follow Genya around parties. She’d spar with Zoya and build mirrors with David. She’d avoid the Apparat in the palace halls and wander the gardens at night.  She’d secretly visit the former location of the shadow fold and try not to weep as she remembered who fell there and whose hand it was by.

but i also think Alina will be considering the nature and origins of Grisha power, and the way that plays into Ravkan politics.

I think she would start to help with the training at the Little Palace, she’d kind of be like what Bahgra and Botkin were for her, for current and future Grisha recruits. She’d be able to understand one, what it’s like to be without a family, but also how it feels to be thrust into a world where your strangeness is celebrated, and what it’s like to suddenly learn you have a magical ability, especially if you only felt at most ordinary before.

but also, I think Alina would be heavily interested in answering the questions she had the first day she discovered her powers. Why her? Why was she the Sun Summoner, what attracted this power and responsibility to her?

She really wants to understand Grisha power on a fundamental level, understand whether saints of the past were saints in the same way she was, or whether they really were just performing miracles. 

Alina goes searching for evidence, she goes searching for the reasons why she is the way she is, she goes looking for answers to the questions that plague her as she tries to sleep. She adventures into mountains, she walks to the sites of supposed miracles, She tries to feel the energy right at the heart of the world, feel the echoes of miracles performed long ago.

because she can’t help but feel like there’s a reason for all this. 

she can’t help but feel like there must be a reason for power. she can’t help but wonder if power has helped or hurt her.