Dear Dollie | Part Thirty Eight
An 'unfortunate' event leads to the strangest date night ever.
TW: Slight choking, slapping, touching over clothes listen they’re just really into each other at the moment okay? No judging. Uh Tara but not Tara?
"You don't think you're worth fighting for?" You ask as you look at him, hand resting against his cheek.
"Just, no one ever has" He shrugged making your heart flutter "Till this" he gestured towards you, soft smile tugging at his lips.
"Lets go to bed" You pull his hand guiding him from the bathroom, towards your bedroom "No doubt she'll be back tomorrow with her shit"
"Ya think?" Gator scoffs as he follows you towards the bed, you sit down on the end of it looking up at him as he walks closer pushing your legs apart so he can stand between them "Think ya roughed her up real good, mama" He smirked down at you.
"Hmm" You smiled pulling his face down closer to you so you could kiss him, soft lips pressed together as he exhales through his nose groaning into the kiss.
"Think id like ya ta rough me up like tha" He smirked against your lips, hands slipping under your thighs as he lifted you throwing you further up the bed. You squeal before covering your mouth with your hand, both of your heads turning towards Teddy's crib. Still sound asleep.
"That something you're into Tillman?" You teased as Gator crawled across the bed settling back between your thighs, body heavy as it presses against yours.
"Inta anythin if yer doin it" He mumbled before his lips crashed into yours again, his hands sliding up over your hips pushing the shirt higher up your body letting the cold air get to you "so pretty" he whispered as his kisses moved from your lips down to your neck.
"Cant wait a week" You gasped letting your hands roam down his back before dragging your nails back up making him shudder above you.
"Exactly, Just a week" you moaned softly as Gators tongue drags across your neck, the weight of his cock heavy against your core "What difference does a week make?"
Gator stilled for a moment, pushing himself up on his hands to look down at you. You could see in his eyes that he was considering it, eyes filled with lust as he exhaled.
"Please?" You smirk biting down on your bottom lip making Gator grin, your hand slipped down between your bodies to cup his bulge making his eyes flutter shut.
"Dont do tha, baby" Gator whispered, you squeezed softly making him groan.
"You don't want it?" you asked batting your eyelashes at him "because this is telling a different story" You smiled before pushing him off you, Gators eye widened but he happily lay back against the bed. "I think you want this just as much as me, right?" You smiled as you straddled him.
"Fuck, yeah" Gator replied breathlessly as he nodded frantically "I- I want it"
"You better beg then" You smiled dragging your hand from his stomach slowly until you reached his neck, Gently applying pressure.
"M'not begin" Gator replied as his chest started to rise and fall quickly as your grip tightened, You laughed softly as you looked down at him making his brows furrow. Lifting your hand before letting it land across his cheek, Gators eyes closed as he groaned bucking his hips up into you.
"Please, god fuck, please baby" Gators eyes were wild when he opened them, You squeezed his neck tighter before leaning down to kiss him again, keeping your hand in place on his neck as your teeth clashed against each other, tongues hot against each others as you swallowed down each others moans. You pulled away from him to pull the shirt off your body leaving you bare on top of him, Gators hands instantly gripped onto your thighs, letting one hand dip down towards your inner thigh. His finger trailing lightly across your folds making you gasp.
"Good boy" You whisper and Gators groaning again, You're always learning new things about Gator but his clear love of being taken control of? Wasn't expected.
"Do it again" He whispers, finger finding your clit as he rubs slowly "Please"
You roll your hips forward into his touch, back arching as you look down at him begging beneath you.
"Do what again?" You ask through moans as his finger picks up speed, touching you exactly how he knows you like it.
You smile down at him lifting your hand again as Gator whimpers before it even lands.
You jump off Gator quickly and Gator jumps up off the bed grabbing the shirt you were just wearing throwing it on racing out of the room, you grab some pyjamas out of the draw before following him.
"Shh, Shhhh" Gator soothes as soon as he walks through her door, dropping to his knees next to the bed "Doll?"
Dollies eyes flickered open as she looked at him confused.
Gator exhales running a hand through his hair as he looks at you as you walk into the room.
"Whats wrong?" You ask as you get down on the floor next to him.
"Mama?" Dollie says as she starts to smile at you both, Gator starts to laugh next to you making you laugh.
"Ya was screamin baby, scared tha life outta me!" He ruffles the pile of curls on her head "Was ya dreamin?"
"Monsters" Dollie sighed pulling her bunny up against her face.
"Aint real baby" Gator whispered before turning towards you leaning in close to your ear "Although, think I saw one tonight"
You scoff slapping his arm before laughing.
"Mama! Kind hands!" Dollie frowned as she leaned forward stroking her little hand over the patch you'd just slapped. "Say sorry to daddy"
"Yeah mama, say sorry" Gator smirked at you making you roll your eyes.
"Im so sorry!" You gasped leaning forwards to kiss his cheek, whispering into his ear "I just thought you were into slapping"
Dollie looked at you both smirking at each other with a frown on her face, shuffling closer on her bed wrapping an arm around both of your necks to pull you all into a hug.
"Now be friends" She huffed kissing Gators face quickly before kissing yours "Kind hands and kind words" She giggled as she pulled away.
"That's right Dollie! You heard her Daddy!" You smiled before pulling the covers back up over her, tucking her bunny into bed next to her.
"I heard her!" Gator smiled kissing Dollies head softly "Loud an clear!"
"Silly daddy" Dollie giggled as Gator peppered kisses across her face, fingers digging into her ribs softly as he tickled her making her laugh.
"Get some sleep baby" he whispered giving her a final kiss before moving out of the way so you could step closer.
"Night baby girl" You smiled kissing the top of her head softly.
"Gator?" You whispered as you both lay in bed, nothing but silence filling the room.
"Hmm?" He hummed rolling over to face you, eyes still closed as his body tried to pull him into sleep.
"Tara.. she said something when we were in the stable" You whispered and Gators eyes flickered open "She said Dollie asked if she was her new mama while I was away"
Gator exhaled as he looked at you, hand finding yours under the covers as he held onto it.
"She was asking where ya was, when ya was comin back an all tha" He kissed your forehead where the lines had formed from furrowing your brows "an Tara told her not ta worry an ya would be home soon, Doll got all flustered and had one of her moment again..ya know tha ones" Gator laughed breathlessly, you smiled knowing exactly the thing he was talking about.
"Yeah" you whispered, Gator nodded at you taking a moment to think of how he was going to word it.
"So she started freakin tha fuck out, saying she wants mama an wants Tara ta go" He sighed like it was physically hurting him to revisit those moments "An I was like she cant go baby, she gotta help. Then she got all screamy.. it was a whole thing an she started like panickin tha’s when she asked"
Your heart hurt as he explained it to you, she wasn't asking because she wanted her to be her new mama. She was asking because she was scared that she was her new mama.
"Im sorry" You whisper, Gators brows furrowed this time as he shook his head "I'm sorry you were put in such a shit position"
"Dont think I was tha one in tha shit position" He whispered as he held onto your face so you looked at him, fully awake now as he looked into your eyes "Yer Dolls mama"
"I know" you smiled, Gators hands slide down from your face until they reach your hips, pulling you closer into him.
"I've been home a while" you giggle softly letting your head rest against his chest.
"Nah, mean like havin ya here. Havin ya love me" Your chest tightened as your arms looped around him, Remembering how he said he'd never had anyone fight for him before.
"You're quite soft underneath the act you know" You smile against him and Gator tuts in retaliation "I think you just want to be loved by someone"
"Aint used ta it" he sighed turning his face slightly to kiss your head "Ain't had much of it growin up, so when ya show it me it feels good"
You didn't know much about Gators childhood, only the basics or the parts that he had to tell you to keep you sweet when he fucked up. Hearing him say how it felt good to feel loved made you decide in that moment that you'd never let him go a day without feeling loved again.
"Im glad you feel loved, you know I love you right? Like really fucking love you" You smiled softly looking up at him. He nodded his head slowly but he wasn't looking at you, Like he was avoiding looking at you incase you saw how vulnerable he was being and ripped it all away from him.
"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Dollie squealed as Gator walked down the stairs, Teddy tucked safely into his arm as he reached the bottom.
"Mornin Dollie girl" He smiled as he crouched down to kiss her, Her little hands reaching straight for Teddy as she stroked his hair.
"Does Teddy want to meet star daddy? I think Star would love Teddy!" Dollie asked excitedly as she jumped up and down making Gator wince at how loud she was.
"Yeah.. yeah, five mins baby" He smiled before standing up walking towards you in the kitchen "Mornin baby"
"Morning" You smiled holding the cup of coffee out towards him "Trade?"
Gator smiled before holding teddy out towards you, you take him before handing the cup to his hands. You looked down at him, Fast asleep against your chest. His daddies little twin, Freshly changed into a white onesie. You kiss Gators cheek softly before walking into the front room where Dollie was lining her horses up across the coffee table, playing loudly startling Teddy.
"Need ta go clean tha glass up before I take her out" Gator sighed as he sits down next to you, shoulders brushing he was that close. You liked this new side of him, It was like he couldn't get enough of you.
"I can do it" You smile softly but Gators shaking his head.
"I'll do it" He kissed the side of your head before getting back up, walking his cup to the kitchen. "Just stay here" he kissed the top of your head softly before leaving.
"Where's daddy going?" Dollie asked as she turned to face you, eyes wide "Did he forget me?"
"No, no" you smiled "Hes gone to clean the stables so he can take you to see star"
"What about Teddy?" Dollie asked as she gasped "Daddy said we can show Star Teddy!"
"You can baby, don't worry" You smile softly and notice how Dollies expression relaxed instantly before she turned back towards her toys. You placed teddy into his bouncer chair before starting to tidy around the house, folding the dry clothes, sweeping the crumbs Dollie had left from her snacks. Everything felt normal, like a real family life.
"Daddy!" Dollie squealed as he walked back through the door, You looked over at him and the softness in his eyes was gone. He scooped Dollie up in his arms kissing her head.
"Doll, need ya ta play In yer room fer a bit" He placed her back down and your stomach turned, he looked over at you quickly flashing you a look you couldn't read.
"Baby, now" Gator said a little sterner and Dollie must be used to what this means, she didn't argue with him she just ran up the stairs. "Mama.." He walked closer to you and the closer he got the more your heart raced.
"Whats happened? Is it Star?" Fuck, if Star was dead it would destroy Dollie. "Is Star dead?" You gasp as you look at him, his eyes wild as he looked back at you. Gators hands held onto your arms that were now shaking, fuck you wished he'd just get it over with.
You exhaled, laughing slightly as you looked at him.
"God, you scared me!" You smiled, starting to turn away from him to go back to what you were doing before he tightened his grip on you to keep you in place.
"S'tara" he whispered, Your heart basically stopped as you stared at him, mouth open eyes wide. "Tara, she's fuckin..She's still in tha same place we fuckin left her"
"What?" Your eyes searched his, begging him to tell you this was all some sort of sick joke. Your best friend? You'd killed your best friend? No, you wouldn't do that. You aren't a murderer. You shake your head as you look at him, Gator holds onto your hands to try and steady you as the room starts to spin. "Wh- what are we gonna do?" You asked, mind racing with all of the what ifs, trying to push down the emotional torture that your best friend was literally lying dead outside thanks to you.
"Like fuck if I know!" Gator sighed shaking his head "Wasn't expectin any of this!" Gator hissed before noticing the tears threatening to spill from your eyes, pulling you into his chest "M'gonna sort it"
"How?" You pulled away to look up at him, you knew he didn't have the answers you could see it in the way he was biting down on his lip nervously "You've done things like this before, right?"
"Cleaned my own mess up, made excuses an all tha but" he sighed as he looked down at you "I dunno how ta explain this one away mama"
You couldn't help the sob that left you, falling into Gators arms as you panicked. Gators arms wrapped around you tightly as his chin rested on top of your head, totally clueless on how to fix this mess but he'd move heaven and earth before he let you go down for it.
"Baby sitters on tha way" Gator sighed as he walked into your room, staring at you sat in your pjs on the bed red eyes from crying "Ya gonna get ready?"
"For what?" You replied barely above a whisper as you looked at him, brows furrowed.
"Well tha baby sitter thinks were goin on a date? Ya need ta look like yer goin on a date" Your stomach turned, you knew he was right but the thought of getting dressed up to hide a body? Sickening.
You searched through your clothes as Gator watched, silence filling the room as you pull out a little black dress holding it up to Gator.
"We aint goin to a funeral, sugar" He sighed as he bounced down onto the bed, strangely calm for what you were about to do.
"Will she even get a funeral?" You asked as you ignored his comment, stepping into the dress that hugged your body a little tighter since you'd had Teddy.
"Not if this goes ta plan"
You nod slowly, biting down on your bottom lip to stop another sob breaking free. You sit down at the dressing table looking at your reflection, mind racing as the thought of never seeing her again crippled you, was it really worth all of this? did you need to go that far? How far would she have gone if you didn't do this?
You pulled your hair up into a messy bun, plastered make up over your face to hide the bags under your eyes. You looked the part, date ready but your body was shaking. Fuck, why can't things just be normal. You were starting to think you were under some sort of curse, one brought on by Gator.
"Look beautiful" Gator whispered as he appeared behind you pulling you from your thoughts "Wish I could make tha most of ya"
You turned on your seat to face him, eyes searching his.
"Do you think of me differently now?" you whispered and Gator looked offended at your question, like you could ever do anything to change how he felt about you.
"Yeah" he shrugged, your breath caught in your throat as a cold chill washed over your body "Think yer fuckin bad ass" he walked closer to you brushing one of the stray pieces of hair you'd left out behind your ear "Think tha dress is huggin ya real good, think it needs ta come off" he smirked as he leaned down to kiss your lips. Lingering against them for a moment "No mama, never" he whispered.
You smile at him, nerves starting to settle a little as everything bad that was happening around you started to slip form your mind. The way his eyes were so hungry as they looked at you, how desperate he is to be inside you sent a thrill through you.
"Baby sitters here" Gator sighed as the door knocked "Meet ya downstairs"
The cold air in the field nipped at your skin, you walked a safe distance behind Gator as your heels sunk into the mud making it hard for you to keep up with him.
He stopped turning round to face you, shovel in one hand making your chest tighten.
"You sure you need me for this?" you asked softly with a half smile, he walked over to you cupping your face with his spare hand "I don't wanna see her"
"Jus..keep look out okay? Any cars or doll comin out tell me" He sighed turning from you to start digging into the mud, Your stomach was turning the whole time. Every time the shovel hit the mud you flinched, none of it felt real. How could this be happening? you turned round to see him wiping sweat off his head, breathing heavy as he looked up at you.
"You sure she's dead?" you asked softly, feeling stupid as soon as the words left your mouth.
"Oh she's fuckin dead alright, stiff as a.." Gator stopped as he noticed the horrified look on your face "Yeah mama, she's dead"
You nod, turning back around shivering as the hours pass. Who knew it took this long to dig a hole? Neither of you spoke as the sky started to fall dark, sounds of the birds slowly starting to disappear leaving the only sounds between you the shovelling of mud.
"Done" Gator exhales, you turn towards him noticing the blanket spread out across the floor "Found it in tha stables, so ya aint gotta see her"
"Thank you" you whisper as you step closer to him, wrapping your arms around him "For doing all of this, for me"
"S'nothin" Gator whispered pulling your face up to look at him "I'd do anythin fer ya, ya know that right?"
You nod turning back away from him as he buried your best friend in the field of your family home, sounds that you'd never be able to forget. It took another few hours for Gator to re fill the hole, you helped him drag some bails of hay onto the spot where she was so it didn't look like it had been messed with.
"Gator" you whispered, voice wobbly as you spoke. He looked over at you chest heaving, wild look in his eyes "S-she.. what about" you started to panic, tears streaming down your cheeks as he walked towards you.
"Hes gonna..oh my god" Gators arms wrap around you pulling you in close to his chest "Its done now, mama"
"Hes gonna come looking for her.."
Gators chest tightened, not because he was scared but because you were right. She was a wife, a mother who loved her son. You were her best friend, the first place he was going to look for answers was you.
Okay guys I guess this is a little bit of a filler chapter,I'll explore more with 'miss' feelings about it all later & consequences obviously!
I'm not really happy with it but I hope it's okay , feeling a little disappointed with it but didn't want to leave you all hanging. I PROMISE next one will be better. ☹️ love u as always x
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