inconsequential

The minute the commotion began at the ball, Jason hightailed it straight for the parking lot to get to his car before the rush would inevitably begin. The only benefit of being surrounded by hundreds of rich people was the fact that half of them expected the valets to pull their cars to the front and he almost left with relative ease. He could see people running in sheer panic as he inched his way into traffic, driving his shitty Honda past people who spent more on their outfits for the night than he did on his car. If it weren’t for the circumstances, he would almost openly laugh at the humor of the entire situation.

He nearly drove past Kel, wanting nothing more than to get home and pretend as though his own nerves weren’t completely fried. A part of him was reminded of the details of Rafael’s gory death in that one little gunshot that occurred, the other parts of him wanted a distraction or something to avoid even thinking about it. Still, Kel was a friend of a friend and seeing him stood there, waiting for a car was almost sad. Rolling down the window of his passenger side door, Jason waved the other man down before shouting above all the noise.

“Hey! Do you want a ride? It’s going to take ages for someone to get here with the cops and everyone trying to leave in their own cars.”

grateful almost seemed like the wrong word for it - after all, you weren’t supposed to be grateful that anyone had to be at one of these meetings, and he certainly wished at times that he didn’t have to go. but still, he was grateful for having a friendly (mostly friendly, anyway) face at narcotics anonymous, no matter how long he’d been attending these meetings. of course, he wished he could share his revived appreciation for life with jason, but for some reason, it didn’t quite seem like the right time to do so, even if they were sitting in a denny’s.

“my momma always said never say no to free food, so.” he said once jason offered him the rest of his french toast, now definitely cold from resting out for so long. “…actually, i don’t think she’s ever said that. um,” he paused, poking at the edge of the toast as he tried to find the right words. the thing was, there was always a fine line between being concerned and being nosy, and as much as he liked to pretend he didn’t have much of a filter, he considered jason to be a friend or sorts, and didn’t want to scare the man away, and asking him why do you never talk about yourself while they were sitting in a diner didn’t seem like much of a mood booster.

“so…that story she told back there, the one with the pink hair. pretty wild, huh? kinda inspiring, how she’s a mom and all, trying to make it. i - well, what did you think?” 

a smile pulled at his lips at vinnie’s words, something reminiscent of something his own mother once told him. but the ghost of something he had never dealt with soon floated in right after, dragging a dark cloud right with it as jason stared at the pattern against the wall absentmindedly. vin’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts quickly, a puzzled expression crossing his features as he tilted his head one way. no one ever really asked about his thoughts on a matter, especially ones so emotional and raw as someone pulling themselves out of addiction. all jason could really do was shrug.

“i think she’s brave, brave for sharing all of herself like that and going through with it too. she could give a lot of people hope for their futures.” he paused for a moment, rubbing the stubble on his jaw uncomfortably. “why? do you know her or something?”

a part of him knew why vin was asking, it was obvious that jason had been sitting there for months and had never said a single word. he had the tendency to sit there with a stale cup of coffee, observing everyone around the two of them whilst his partner shared every so often. it wasn’t that his friend’s curiosity was misplaced, but wanted to hear him actually ask the question before he formulated an answer, one that he wasn’t sure was going to be truthful or not.

Today hadn’t been pretty but, by most standards her workdays never objectively were. Lately, the forensics team was going wild with cases that left Vex attending to the grunt work. Her high point of the day so far? Sneaking into the forensics lab to see the newest grisly cases. That was up until now. On her way down the windy street to meet up with Jason, Vex bopped her head along to the blaring music in her headphones. For the first time in a few days, Vex was able to listen to music. Getting lost in it for a few minutes was a reprieve from the jittery state she’d been in lately. Undoubtedly some of that was due to how the ball ended. Some of it was also due to seeing Jason again.

With a talent for escaping reality and traveling wherever her senses took her, Vex was far enough away that the door swinging open made her jump. Startled but happy to see him, Vex exclaimed, “Jason, hi!” She rested a single hand on her chest where her heart was thumping and reassured him, “Oh that’s okay, I think I have enough adrenaline pumping through me that I can forgo the caffeine now.”

A deep breath to calm her pulse escaped her. Vex smiled warmly at him before moving to greet him with a hug, “I’m happy you made it - how have you been since, uh - last time I saw you?”

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He cursed at himself as he watched Vex nearly jump out of her own skin. His expression quickly fell at her reaction, crestfallen at his own lack of awareness and for scaring her. Jason’s eagerness would be the death of him someday, wanting far too much to please other people rather than simply just being himself. He was quickly pulled out of his state of melancholy with her hug, however, and he enveloped her in his arms for a brief moment before pulling away. “A little worried and tired, but I think that’s a given, all things considered. What about you? How have you been?”

His question was sincere, he knew it couldn’t have been easy to deal with what had happened at the ball. No matter how many years he spent with Olympus, gunfire and death was never something he had gotten used to and while Vex worked around death, he was sure she’d never been around for the actual moment it took place. He broke away from his thoughts momentarily to realize he was still standing there, holding the door open, before smiling sheepishly once again.

“You know, if you don’t feel like caffeine after the pre-Halloween scare I just gave you, we could always go somewhere else?”

date: late september location: Asphodel Club status: closed for @sunsctting​

A lot of work went into managing Asphodel Club. But Phoebe had never been afraid of hard work, and went about her job with a routine efficiency. Most things were delegated to those who’d be working in those areas, but it was her responsibility to ensure that it was all done and done right before the doors would open. As always, it was a slow start to the night. People began trickling in as soon as the doors opened, and Phoebe kept moving.

The night was beginning to pick up speed, which was around the time that Phoebe was also the least busy. The lull between making sure everything was starting okay, prepared for the night ahead, and when she needed to problem solve anything that went wrong. She let her second-in-command know she was stepping out and grabbed her coat. But just as she planned to step out the back, where it was quiet, she saw him. Jason.

Their eyes met for a millisecond before the crowd was blocking him from view, but Phoebe felt her heart catch in her throat. A wave of emotions, too much to handle, came over her. It would’ve been smarter to just walk away and let Jason come to her when he was ready. But something about him had always made it hard to do the smart thing. She cared too much, even now.

Another chance spotting of him as he headed out the door made her decision. Her feet carried her before she could really think. Ducking past the bouncer, she spilled onto the street outside, pushing past the people trying to come in.

“Jason!” she called after him.

He’d been lingering around Asphodel for weeks before the ball, always heading in the opposite direction of Samael and Phoebe after catching glimpses of them here and there. After all, Jason had always had a knack for running away when people needed him most. Though Phoebe had once been the exception to the rule, there had been so much unsaid left between them that he wasn’t sure how to begin again. How do you tell someone you love the most that you were sorry for avoiding them for the past two years?

After the events of the ball, however, he had to make sure that she was alright and that security was tight enough that Phoebe wasn’t in imminent danger in case the police or anyone wanted to retaliate against Elysian. So, he lingered longer than usual, eyeing the exits and the guards carefully as he weaved around bodies in various states of intoxication. The moment she caught his eye, Jason made sure to look away before making a beeline straight for and out the door.

He’d just made it a few steps out before he froze, hearing his name despite his body’s protests to continue running. It would be so easy to just continue walking away, but he grit his teeth together before spinning around on his heels to face her.

“Phoebe,” he called back to her, feigning complete surprise. “Hi. You know managers typically manage from inside the club, right?”

It was a terrible joke, but what else could he do?

Though their night had ended with a screaming crowd and a dead body to match, what Jason remembered most had been guiding Vex to the dance floor with the promise to catch up with her at a later date. What he hadn’t expected was for her to follow through with his words, setting up a solid date and time for the two of them to meet across the street from her place of work. Maybe people did care for him, despite the fact that he’d been all but ignored and unwanted by nearly everyone in Olympus or Elysian for the last two years. The trouble was, he wasn’t sure what to tell her or anyone else about what he had been up to in the years he had been gone. Everyone else already had too much on their minds to waste their capacity to care on him, especially now that he was of no use to anyone but Kel.

Playing with one of the rings on his finger nervously, he couldn’t help but to glance through the clear glass window every few seconds just to make sure he wasn’t being stood up. A part of him knew that Vex would never do such a thing, but another wouldn’t really blame her for abandoning him. When he finally saw her, Jason nearly sprung up from his chair to open the door for her eagerly. “Hey,” he greeted with a wide grin immediately lit up his features, “It’s nice to see you again, I wasn’t sure what you wanted so I didn’t order yet.”

In all other parts of his life, Jason played the part of the fool, a happy-go-lucky man who was constantly on the search for fun and a good time. It was the character he fell so easily into: the person who everyone loved being around because their line of work was far too serious. He would be the welcome relief in their lives that they needed so badly. The only time he ever felt as though he could be himself and drown in the sadness he so often felt tugging at him was during Narcotics Anonymous and for a few hours afterwards. After all, the people at that meeting didn’t require a court jester. They only wanted others to listen and empathize and if that was what they wanted, he could do that.

Pushing his french toast across the plate, he briefly glanced up at Vin with a sad smile. He’d been hesitant to go to these meetings before, but he had been relieved and happy that the other man had agreed to let him tag along a couple months ago. If anything, Vinnie was one of the bigger reasons why Jason was doing so well, even if he never shared anything about himself. Some things were just better left unsaid and unheard, it wasn’t just him who was suffering. Leaning back in the booth, he sighed. “I don’t know why I always order the french toast if I can’t finish it... Do you want it?”

Jason’s laments of her occupation were entertaining though not unusual. “Honestly, the blood’s not even the worst part…” She started, ready to discuss the reality of her work, but a quick glance at Jason and she was wiser to know to stop. “I mean - maybe you can catch me up when we’re not in such a hectic place?” Vex suggested, “There’s a cafe close to the lab, I could meet you after work?”

Harvey. That name was practically ancient to her. She was at the funeral, though somewhere in the back. She had her own private commune by that weird Scotch Pine tree outside the graveyard. 

Harvey was a figure in her childhood she could recall like an uncle. Not by blood but by whatever long-running friendship he had with her parents. Vex’s eyes lost focus, blurring in and out, a single flash of memory. Maybe it was only words and out of focus colors behind her eyes but she knew her own voice. A much higher and youthful pitch, rang in her head, “uncle harveeeyyy! santa got me a constellation book, LOOK pegasus is in it…!” Her squeaked excitement drifted where a deep, ghostly chuckle followed. She fluttered her eyelids. A few blinks to bring herself forward once more. The world solidified back around her – reality re-weaved.

“Right. I think I came to one of these a long time ago. Maybe when I was- thirteen?” She almost sounded shocked by her own guess. It felt like lifetimes ago when fewer specters loomed in the crowds and halls. “I don’t remember him much,” Not a lie but, maybe, omitting the truth… some of the truth. “He gave dream Christmas gifts though,” Okay, that was true. “I think he gave me a “Mine-Your-Own-Crystals” set when I was ten. The second best gift that year.” She remarked matter of factly.  It takes her a second to tightly clear her throat, recognizing she was rambling on a sensitive topic, “Sorry, I… don’t really know where I was going with that one.” 

Jason shivered at the possibilities of what Vex could’ve encountered on the job, knowing that whatever made her uncomfortable would likely make him sick. He raised an eyebrow at her plans to meet up, curious as to why she was so interested when everyone else didn’t even want to bother. “It’s a date,” He teased, eyes twinkling with mirth for a moment. “As long as you catch me up with what else you’ve been up to too, I’m not going to make you listen to me drone on for hours.”

He watched her carefully as she drifted into her own thoughts, an amused smile cresting on his own face. Sometimes, he wished he could be in other people’s heads, just to see what it was like to be somewhere other than his own and just to know what they were thinking. Whatever thoughts she was lost in, he hoped that they were pleasant.

“Can’t say that I know what Harvey’s Christmas presents were like, but he really cared about people.” He nodded, shaking off her apology with a wave of his hand. “I can’t imagine anything topping a ‘Mine-Your-Own Crystals’ set, what was the best gift?” He truly didn’t mind talking about Harvey, a part of him ached every time he did, but it wasn’t as taboo of a topic as Rafael was and reminiscing about the height of Olympus was far better than dwelling about what it had become now. 

Setting his glass of water down on a nearby table, he looked at her mischievously. Bowing deeply, Jason offered her his hand as he gestured towards the dance floor. It was sparse, with a few couples wobbling back and forth here and there. “If you haven’t been to a Founder’s Ball since you were thirteen, you’ve never experienced the best part of it: dancing and showing all these old men and women that our hips still work.”

Seeing Jason brought back a lot of feelings that Lyv had tried her hardest to keep buried for…fuck, it was years now. How were you supposed to treat someone who was practically a stranger now who had once been so important to you? She was still trying to figure it out. All she knew for sure was that she hated it. When they first fell apart, it had torn her up but at the time it was what had to happen. The way he had been during his darkest times reminded her too much of her father, he had made her relive moments she wanted to forget. It had been too much. “Jason…” her eyes looked around them, knowing that any moment someone could see them and she wanted more than anything to tell him don’t - to not cross that line when they’d made it so long without having to. 

But a moment later, that thought was gone and her lips curved into a hesitant smile as she nodded. “I did, yeah. Thanks…” she trailed off. “Not that I need your approval.” she quickly added with a soft laugh. There weren’t many people whose opinions she cared about but Jason had and would always be one of them. It didn’t matter if they hardly said a word to each other anymore, he’d always be the first person she’d think of when something happened to her. He’d always be the one she wanted to call first. But that wasn’t their reality anymore. “You, uh, you look good.” What the fuck? He did though. He looked way better no than he had the last time she saw him. 

This was awful, this conversation was a far cry from who they had once been in each other’s presence. Where they had once been able to laugh freely, there was only awkward silence now. It was a strange feeling, to know that the one person who knew all his secrets and everything that had happened to him was a stranger now. It was enough to make his throat burn, Jason trying his best to swallow down the welling of tears in his eyes. He couldn’t cry, not in front of everyone and the last thing he ever wanted to do was to make Lyv feel guilty when he was the one that needed to fix things between them. Instead, he let out a humorless laugh and rocked back on his heels. “Yeah, you’ve never needed my approval for anything. But I know you worked hard to get there and you deserve it.”

A muted smile worked its way onto his lips at her compliment as he reached into his pocket to pull out a coin to show her. He remembered being terrified out of his mind the first day of his sobriety, wanting nothing more than to run to her for support. But he refrained, told himself that it would be better if he did this on his own. It didn’t mean that he hadn’t thought of her every single day since, though. “Yeah, I’m 90 days clean, actually.” He replied, shrugging as if it wasn’t a big deal. “NA and therapy have really been helping me, I guess I’m getting my life back on track.”

They had suspected Jason was around for awhile, but to say it out loud was to acknowledge the mortifying realization that they knew him simply from the echo of his voice or the back of his head as he exited a space just as Samael entered it. Now, there he was. He was less recognizable when they could see his face properly. Simply by standing next to them, they could never forget there wasn’t a pair of boots in the world that would hide the fact he was a foot taller than them. If he stood in front of them would they be the one the tower over him?

To everyone else in the room Samael was as out of place as he was: the room was too bright for the king of shadows to have anywhere to stand. It made people nervous; they had anticipated that. Harvey had taught them to slip in and out of people to fly as under the radar as possible; to have a smile and one liners to placate people’s fears. All the time in the world to prepare themselves for the way he looked at Samael. Tired. Nervous.

They turned their head away first, making eye contact had just been poor timing on both their parts. Even when Jason began to approaching it felt less out of desire and more the unfortunate circumstance of people moving around him, forcing him forward. Samael imagined him walking past them without any further acknowledgement. What else could he have done, what could he have wanted to say. What could they have said to him. 

Then he spoke and Samael believed he was reminding them he was too kind to have done what they would have done instinctively. Jason forced himself to talk to Samael than a false sense of obligation.

The answer to his question was: of course, but instead it sounded like: “It’s been awhile.”

He’d been trying to work up the courage to talk to Samael since the moment his sobriety began, so much had happened in the past few years that he wasn’t sure where to begin with them. Every time he ran into them, an overwhelming sense of anxiety battered his nerves and forced him to walk away. There was no walking away from this, however. It was either here and now or he’d spend every night running away from them in Asphodel for the foreseeable future. They were once someone Jason considered a friend and he wouldn’t allow himself to sabotage his own friendships any longer.

“How’ve you been, Sammy?” The nickname rolls of his tongue almost too quickly, like a ghost from another lifetime. Would they receive it well like they did when they were friends all those years ago? Or would they pretend as though they didn’t hear it? He winced at the thought of that and looked away. “I just mean... You’re right, it’s been awhile and, last I heard, you decided to split from Olympus and I was wondering how you were handling all of this. Founder’s Ball and... you know, the rest of it too.”

Jason had never been the type for awkwardness, always diving headfirst into a conversation and making friends everywhere he went. But this was different, he knew he had a lot of apologize for and small talk wasn’t sufficient enough for their friendship, but he was doing his best to respect their boundaries. Shifting his weight from one leg to the other, he continued to glance around uncomfortably. “I just wanted to come over and here and say hi to an old friend, that’s all.”

Mirth danced in their gaze, echoing in the short laugh that sounded as Jason twirled. It had been —- not forever, but sometimes it felt like that. Jason slipping every so slowly, peeling himself away from Olympus, from the entire life the mobs touched, it was the better choice from him. Tristin had understood it then, had bit their tongue whenever they wished to speak to Jason. Convince him that maybe, maybe staying would work.

But he had left, and it was for the better. Even if his absence echoed so, so loudly.

“Everyone’s —- the usual, I suppose. At Olympus.” They weren’t supposed to know how Elysian is doing, not if it wasn’t information gleaned from transactions or supply schedules. “I — I suppose you could say everyone’s recovered from Samael’s departure.” 

Half-truths. Always, always half-truths. They pressed their lips together, smile now gone. “Can’t say what is and isn’t bad right now. I guess it is good that everyone is mostly here. Courtesy is better than bloodshed.”

Clearing their throat, a corner of their mouth lifted. “Tell me more about yourself, what’s been going on —- what brings you back?”

Jason nearly laughed at the idea of everyone having recovered from Hades leaving the fold, he knew better than to believe that Luli would ever recover or forgive them for their transgressions. Even if she wasn’t deserving of forgiveness herself for the things she had done, but that was another story and Tristin’s willingness to stay was likely for their own benefit and not out of true loyalty.

Still, he had to wonder if they had ever thought about the consequences in siding with someone who Jason believed cared little for her people.

“According to Zeus, sometimes bloodshed is unavoidable. Are you good with that?” He questioned, his tone serious with a fake smile plastered all over his face. Are you good with the blood being yours?

What brought him back? Family, of course. The need for belonging.

“I just missed everyone, I guess. You don’t see people for a few years and you wonder how everyone is and I wasn’t in a good enough place to do that until pretty recently.” The half-lie escaped him easily, in truth he really wanted forgiveness. “I’m here to make amends too.”

Just like his name sake, Anya would swear Cronus had as much influence over time itself as he did over the inner workings of New York City. When he was still alive the world moved like clockwork, and without him it all sped by too quickly. But in this moment, as she twirled in her dress showing off for Jason, she could swear she felt his ghost stop the invisible clock hands she was always racing against. Four years melted away in an instant in the comforting familiarity of Jason’s presence. “You know I can’t have anyone showing me up on my own turf.” She said with a wink.

Anya followed Jason’s gaze and let out a soft hum. It was comforting to know she wasn’t the only one seeing ghosts this evening. “I keep expecting him to come over and reprimand us for getting too rowdy.” Us. An unspoken missing third. Rafael—the phantom limb that couldn’t be seen but she knew damn well both of them felt. As if thinking about him broke the spell, time seemed to speed up all at once and hit her hard like a knife in the chest.

Jason’s remark only seemed to twist the blade deeper beneath her ribs. She wished she could get angry with him, but she didn’t have the moral high ground to get defensive. Instead, Anya became uncharacteristically quiet, searching for the right words as she twirled her own crystal flute between her fingers. Finally she looked up to meet his eyes and let out a soft sigh. “Everyone copes with loss differently, but I don’t think any of us have forgotten…”

For a moment, everything that pressed so urgently underneath his skin fell away as he watched Anya spin. It felt almost surreal, knowing all the time that had passed and their ability to revert back to their old selves with each other. Maybe if Jason had been a more mature man, he would have let everything go and just reveled in the feeling of being with someone who he had once considered a close friend. But, close friends didn’t elect to forget each other when they needed them the most and the bitterness that bubbled up inside of him at the pseudo-mention of Rafael was enough to snap him back to reality.

“And now, there’s no one to be reprimanded,” He muttered, his tone tinged with sadness and exhaustion. He wasn’t just mourning the loss of Rafael, their friendship was damaged too in more ways that he could count. “I think... Raf would be disappointed in us.” His name slips from his tongue easily, as if it wasn’t the first time he’d mentioned him since his death, as if he wasn’t still healing from the wounds of knowing that he had disappointed him for so long. “But, to be fair, there’s also no one to reprimand us now either.”

Forcing himself to look Anya in the eyes took more effort than he realized, especially paired with her words. His gaze hardened almost instantly, the clench of his jaw revealing his muted anger before his next words escape in something akin to a hiss. “You all could’ve fooled me.” Squaring his shoulders, he inhaled deeply before looking away. “But, I guess your loyalty to Luli matters more than anything, right? I think I remember someone else who once told me that too.” And look where that got him.

he could spot him from across the hall. easy, really, how he makes it, what with how he’s furtive-eyed, skittish. how everyone in the room holds an air of pretence at their own importance while he knows that he’s next to useless.

god, he makes it easy. cleo could probably pick him out with his eyes closed. 

satisfying, then, how he ignores him so blatantly. it is purely selective, purposeful when he catches jason’s eye with a smile and a glass of wine, half-lounged on one of the chaise in the back as he watches the other come closer. 

“sweetheart.” he greets the other, smile gentle despite sharp eyes. “what would there be for me to miss?” 

(half bite, half endeared. kindness wrapped in teeth and this is the best there is for him) 

he pulls at the man’s tie softly, tugging him closer. 

“your tie’s crooked and your suit’s a size too big, dear. it’s a miracle you haven’t spilled anything on it yet, no?” 

his smile quickly falls as the bluntness of his comment, swallowing his wounded pride as he knows that he deserves it. after all, it was he who left olympus and abandoned the ranks of elysian when they needed members most.

still, he advances closer at cleo’s beckoning. unsure of where this was going, but ever curious.

“it’s been a long time since i’ve had to wear one of these,” he murmurs, looking down at his rented suit and shrugging. “not all of us can afford to have them.”

that, of course, is his own fault for leaving in the first place. but now wasn’t the time or place to talk about his regrets.

the prospect alone of finding a corner to hide away in and just let loose for a millisecond was inviting. “my knight in shining armor,” they joked, “where would i be without you? so full of advice and temptation.” in the short few months they’d been in the city, mani really hadn’t expected to become so familiar with someone so easily. there was never a dull moment with jason. and the chance of having an opportunity to do something like this happening again? didn’t seem too likely. “ i’ll need you to pinky promise you won’t spill the beans if i admit something so crazy as that.”

a quick glance around the room, in an effort to spot their date, was fruitless. the man had managed to blend into every other suit there. “lead the way,” mani laughed, “i’m sure i won’t be missed for a few more moments.”

“you know your life would be terribly empty without me,” he winked at them, a shit eating grin accompanying it. in reality, it was probably the opposite. mani’s willingness to get up to just about anything with him filled up his days, whenever they weren’t working, they seemed like a breath of fresh air and new beginnings when everyone else carried a dark cloud above their heads. they allowed him to be carefree before reality came crashing back down on him and, for that, he was more than grateful. “hey, come on now, you know your secret is safe with me.” he replied, holding his hand to his heart. “scout’s honor.”

“then, we’d better hurry.” taking their hand, he quickly guided them out of the ballroom and away from wandering eyes until they reached the grand staircase of the hotel. in any other circumstance, he was sure they’d look suspicious, but the staff that had been there for years knew him and his tendencies. “last one up the stairs is a rotten egg?”

Jason provided ample proof that there was such a thing as stupid questions, even rhetorical ones. Rhys didn’t miss anyone or anything. He was the one people chased after, it never happened the other way around. His little Grinch heart only had room to love himself and all the money he would one day possess.

(The little girl in New Mexico doesn’t count, he tells himself. She’s, like, seven or eight and not even half of a person yet.)

But he’d be lying if he didn’t admit that Jason offered a good time, or at least used to. Rumor had it that the guy was trying to live life on the straight and narrow. God, Rhys hoped that wasn’t true. People who tried to put their life on track were so boring. With a devil’s smile and a glint in his eye that meant nothing but trouble, he gave Jason one of those obnoxious bro handshakes complete with a pat on the back. “I feel like it’s been ages since I last saw you. Want to go catch up in the bathroom?” He gave a little conspicuous tap on his nose as he gestured towards where a couple of Wall Streeters had shuffled off with a hotel heiress. Rhys didn’t miss Jason, and he hadn’t planned on snorting anything that night, but he was in desperate need of a good show. And he didn’t have much faith that Jason could provide that while he was sober.

Jason knew he should have listened to the voice inside his head that screamed at him to run away the moment Rhys pulled him into a half-hug, clapping him on the back as though they were old friends. Rhys didn’t have friends. But people often changed, he had in the few years he had been gone and he had hopes that the other male had too.

Having hopes that Rhys had changed was a lost cause, however. That much was evident the moment he opened his mouth.

“I don’t do that anymore,” he replied, his eyes carefully following them regardless... Just in case. It hadn’t been easy for him to quit, but he was going down a darker path than he ever wanted to and the only thing that shook him awake from his stupor was the disappointment Rafael, Harvey, and his mother would have for him if he wasted the life they had given him. But quitting had been the easy part, staying away from it and not being tempted was something he still struggled with each and every single day. “We can talk somewhere more private, if that’s really what you want?” Jason continued after a brief pause, still glued to the backs of the group headed to the bathroom. “I’m just trying to stay away from all that.”

there was a part of him that wanted a cigarette in between his fingers, that wanted to grab one of the champagne flutes and throw it back – but he wasn’t intent on self-destruction tonight, and he needed to keep his wits about him. so instead he drifted, listening in on conversations, eyes quietly scanning from one side of the crowd to another. you had no idea what you could find out in a place like this until you went for it, but still – his skin was crawling just from being around this many people.

abram lee had long ago learned the art of fake it til you make it, and his smile had been honed into a weapon, so when gazes lingered too long or he felt himself growing far too uncomfortable, he let his lips split into something sharp and excused himself to circulate again.

a heavy breath slipped through his teeth, and abram lifted his eyes just in time to catch the gaze of a face he hadn’t seen in so long – but not one he had forgotten. he’d never forget jason knight, not after the funeral, not after watching him fall apart and feeling so angry it had burned out everything else in him. now, abram knew that it wasn’t really anger he’d felt that day, but jealousy. he had been so jealous that jason could fall apart like that, but he’d only ever admitted it to himself.

abram cocked his head gently to the side as jason approached him, and calling him apollo felt so strange, so instead he let his eyes drift to their feet. “hello, jason,” abram said, eyes carefully lifting back to the other man’s face. abram scrutinized him, taking in the healthy weight in his cheeks, the life behind his eyes. he didn’t look hollowed out anymore. he looked…better.

“you don’t look like death anymore,” abram mused, tilting his head again. “this place can’t be easy on your…sobriety.” a dig, and one that made abram’s mouth twist afterwards – he hadn’t wanted to say something like that. but he wouldn’t apologize, there was no point – “how are you holding up?” fuck.

abram wasn’t someone he had really considered a friend prior to everything, just someone who he had always seen in passing, sometimes alone and jason knew it was likely something he preferred. but inching his way back into olympus or elysian meant getting along with everyone, even with personalities he knew that he would not mesh with or people who would be cruel to him for his mistakes and missteps. after all, they were at war and jason’s loyalties were still up in the air. he was sure that made others nervous, even if he had nothing to offer either side.

he arched an eyebrow at abram as his name left his lips, a pleasant surprise given how few words they had exchanged over the years. family was still family, he supposed, even if no one else seemed to view it that way. maybe things would be more pleasant than he had hoped.

his next few words caught him by surprise, a dark shadow passing over his features at the obvious jab, before reverting back to one of friendliness. glancing at the champagne glasses and a mix of heavier drinks around him, jason shrugged and pressed on with a lie. “it’s easy once you realize how much you hurt people when you break your sobriety, i guess i’m lucky like that.”

he wasn’t, he truly wasn’t. but why reveal weakness to someone who obviously cared very little for him? even now, he could feel the itch to grab a bottle and run into the stairwell, happily letting himself sink further and further into bliss.

“i’m okay, i think. but thanks for asking, it means a lot.” his voice fell flat as his gaze continued to wander, eyeing temptation. “how have... things been with you?”

The ball was haunted with ghosts, the ghosts of Harvey lingering the heaviest. But for those in the underbelly of New York, they felt the ghost of Rafael. Felicia still wasn’t sure how she felt, unsure if she processed the feeling of a dear friend now gone. But Felicia couldn’t let dead men haunt her, not when the living were doing that now around her. Mount Olympus still stood so tall in all its glory, but everyone was waiting for the crack weren’t they? And if Zeus won’t screw up on her own, someone else was bound to help.

But she turned her head, locking her gaze with yet another ghost, only this time he was alive. Looking better than Felicia had ever seen him too for that matter. Did it really get that bad? Was she to blame for enabling him, for being too locked in her own stupor to realize the chaos around her? There’s guilt she feels for never realizing how far deep he went, but here he came. It was hard not to smile, Jason always seemed to be brighter than everyone around him even when he was subdued. She couldn’t even help the laugh she let out at his question. Miss him? Could she afford that?

“Can’t ruin my street cred and say yes.” She raised a brow, tilting her head as she looked at him. “But I could ask you the same. You look good, Jason.”

A silly and petty part of him believed that he should have been angry with her. Felicia was one of the few people who had stuck around him during his drugged out stupor, who had every opportunity to help him and tolerated his behavior but had done nothing about it when things got truly bad. Another part of him knew that she wasn’t to blame for his addiction, that she had every right to have fun with someone in her line of work. He admired her tenacity and her ability to fight and was half afraid of her if he did react in anger, so he opted for the coward’s way out instead: friendly banter and a reunion.

“But you definitely did, don’t lie,” He quipped with a knowing look and a wink, “Things just aren’t as fun without me around.” Even so, being the fun one obviously came with a cost, one where he’d nearly given up his own sanity because the reality was that being in a gang came with dire consequences, none more so apparent than what had happened with Ares. “I’ll admit it, I did miss you, but duty calls, right?” Jason replied, doing his best not to sound entirely resentful. “Luli or Samael or someone needed you, I can’t really fault you or them for that. You’re not as expendable.”

Being back here was a weird feeling. Something akin to being somewhere you know you aren’t wanted, didn’t get an invitation to attend, and for some reason or another showed up anyway. Only this time, Lyv did receive an invitation and by all intents and purposes, she was supposed to be here. Or maybe those aligned with Elysian had received their invitation from Luli as a way to show them the ball was happening and they all should have declined the invite. Either way, it was too late now as she looked around the room with a flute of champagne in her hand. It seemed to be an ill-advised night forcing the gangs into the same room but an easy ruse to keep an eye on all of them. 

The familiar voice all but made her stomach drop and she took a moment, and another sip from her glass, before turning just slightly in his direction. Rich of him to ask her if she had missed him. Like she hadn’t thought of him almost every single day they didn’t talk that first year. Maybe it had faded a little but that didn’t mean he wasn’t constantly infiltrating her dreams for better or for worse. Maybe she’d gone out of her way every now and then to avoid him but that didn’t mean she didn’t notice him whenever he hovered around Asphodel. “Is that sarcasm?”

He and Olyvia had been floating in each other’s orbits for months now, never quite touching, but in each other’s vicinity and it was obvious that she had been avoiding him for some time. She had every right to, but Jason knew it was now or never and being in such a public place ensured that she wouldn’t just throw a glass of champagne in his face before storming away. In Asphodel, it wouldn’t have surprised him if she had done just that before calling security to haul him away and he took the fact that she hadn’t done just that as an olive branch to their eventual reconciliation. She’d been his best friend once upon a time, after all, there was no reason they couldn’t go back to that, right?

“No, I just... Actually, what I meant to say was that I missed you,” he sputtered nervously, “I, uh, I heard you got promoted. Manager, right? Congrats, I’m, um, really proud of you.” Jason wasn’t entirely sure what to say other than to launch the conversation into some kind of common ground that wasn’t what he really wanted to say. She wouldn’t even look at him, how was he supposed to do anything when the guilt of his actions and her reactions weighed on him like this? “Not that-Not that I have a right to be... Or anything.”