See the light in others, and treat them as if that is all you see.
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See the light in others, and treat them as if that is all you see.
Wayne Dyer (via wordsnquotes)

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The wrong way to witness
A simple parable about speaking to people outside the faith:
Imagine that your young son goes missing, and you come to your friend, with tears in your eyes, and you tell him that something terrible has happened to your son. He may even have been kidnapped! So you ask your friend to help you find your son, to set your son free, and to bring him home again.
Then imagine the following conversation takes place—
Friend: I found your son.
You: Yes! Thank you! Where is he? Let me embrace my son.
Friend: Well, here’s the thing, when I found him, he was indeed kidnapped, but what’s more, the kidnappers had brainwashed him into thinking that they were his real family, and that this was the best life for him, and that you didn’t really love him or want him back.
You: No! Tell me that you rebuked that lie and told my son the truth!
Friend: Oh, I told him the truth alright. I told your son that he was doing wrong and bad things, that these people he was devoted to were wrong and bad, and that he had become as wrong and bad as them.
You: What have you done?
Friend: I just told him the truth!
You: You didn’t tell him the truth, you made it seem like I don’t want him, when I DO WANT HIM VERY MUCH. All you did was condemn his behavior. That wasn’t the mission. Why didn’t you tell my son that I love him? Why didn’t you tell him that I want more than anything for him to come home? Why didn’t you make it clear that I don’t care what he has done, I just want him to return to me, and we can work together to make everything else alright?
…In the end, as we try to free those who are captive to their sin, we will have to answer these same hard questions. God holds us accountable, not just for what we say when we’re witnessing, but how we say it.
If it was your son, you’d want it done right too. If you make a mess of things, yet find yourself responding, “but I quoted scripture when I did it, doesn’t that make it right?”, the answer to that is no, it makes things far worse.
Here is what scripture actually says about speaking to people outside the faith:
2 Corinthians 5:16-20 So from now on we don’t look at anyone the way the world does. At one time we looked at Christ in that way. But we don’t anymore. Anyone who believes in Christ is a new creation. The old is gone! The new has come! It is all from God. He brought us back to himself through Christ’s death on the cross.
And he has given us the task of bringing others back to him through Christ, that God was bringing the world back to himself through Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. God has trusted us with the message, that people may be brought back to him. So we are Christ’s official messengers. It is as if God were making his appeal through us. Here is what Christ wants us to beg you to do: Come back to God!
LEMON VELVET CAKE

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In an affair, you see the other person in a very different dynamic than you do your spouse–you see them on your terms when you want an escape from the challenges of commitment. Instead of pressing into the complexity and challenging nature of what it means to love—to not withdraw, but to lean in, to care, to stay, and to try–you turn to the easiest alternative that gives an outlet of escape, to enter another world that is, for a time, void of the messiness of intimacy. So, by definition, an affair is not intimacy, because that’s the exact thing you’re running away from. And this is nothing to scoff at—we are all wanting an escape from the pressure of life in some way or another, and this is no different in relationships. We are all prone to wander into a false sense of idealism that caters to the unmet needs of a relationship. Every affair requires some level of delusion. The key is to know that when love is hard—when you wish there was a way out—that is the exact moment to stop looking for an exit and to cultivate reasons to stay. You don’t want another partner—you want connection without the cost, and that’s neither sustainable nor realistic. Connection always comes with a cost, and an affair is bidding on something you can’t afford because when you’re way behind on your payments on a previous purchase. Weird analogy, but you see how nonsensical affairs are? You’re not chasing real connection–you’re actually running away from it.
-L, thoughts of a therapist
Julia @humphreyandgrace.

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I’m not looking for somebody who will whisper sweet nothings into my ear to feed the ravenous ego of my heart. But someone who can look me straight in the eye and say, I love you, whether you fail or fall, just as you are.
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When you show up with kindness, others can be more themselves.
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