so things go

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

i wonder how many people i’m in the “i’d be down if you asked” zone with

I’m that kind of person who keeps letters and birthday cards, tickets from trains, concerts, parks and museums.

Reblogging this once more because my mom and I legitimately laughed to tears.

this is my favorite video on the internet

mental health tip: save this video. watch it when you’re sad. it’s the best goddamn thing on the internet

Every year, the richest person in America is declared the “Winner of Capitalism.” They get a badge. Then all of their wealth is donated to charity and they have to start over at $0.

This procedure results in the worlds richest people donating excessive amounts of money ahead of the event in an attempt to avoid being hit by a real life blue shell. Thus adding to the overall annual donation.

Y'all think this is a joke but that’s literally how taxes are *supposed* to work

catch a falling nugget put it in your pocket save it for a hungry day

the last time I honored my feelings was when I was 8 and dug a really big hole in our back yard and got in it 

I call this “Trying to get notes with false facts.”

I assure you, Facts-I-Just-Made-Up would never post false facts just to get notes. I also do it to confuse, misinform, and hurt people.

cause of death: second hand embarrassment 

I’m Peggy

screaming

putting tape over my Webcam thinking about how the CIA agent watched me cry everyday for a year and didn’t once check up one me: cut toxic people out in 2018