Sunny

During Mizumono (S2Ep13), Alana recounts a reoccurring nightmare she’s had as the truth about Hannibal has come to light to Will, drowning in a sea of black, inky liquid that rises from the bed she shared with Hannibal to fill her lungs and every space inside her, consuming and drowning her. It’s clearly a subconscious representation of the emotional trauma she’s facing with these new revelations about her relationship with Hannibal and Hannibal himself, and she describes it as something predatory and poisonous, corruptive. Her face is blotchy and pallid, lashes wet and expression sharp and shaky with horror and regret. Alana’s eyes are closed in the dream, she isn’t aware of the truth of Hannibal quite yet. Her skin is a bright contrast against the darkness around her, trying to stay true to her morals in the face of the circumstances she’s facing. Her face is turned away from the rising liquid, seeking escape. Bubbles burst from her mouth— the darkness is a foreign thing. She can’t live with it. Alana’s nightmare precedes permanent injury thanks to Hannibal’s influence, her leg broken and disabled. Hannibal promises that he will kill her.

In Antipasto (S3Ep1), Bedelia undresses and bathes with Hannibal’s aid after attending an event at the Palazzo Caponi. She mocks him about his past traumas before sinking into the bathtub to rest and recollect on how she’s ended up here with him long enough for him to leave, potentially entering a half-conscious state between sleep and waking influenced by the tension of living with a killer and her growing proclivity for painkillers. Bedelia, too, dreams of sinking into dark liquid, but her eyes are open. She reaches for the surface when she continues to sink, bubbles streaming from her thanks to the same sense of foreign invasion that Alana experienced. The light may be murkier, but her form still stands out brightly. She isn’t the same as Hannibal. Her morals are flexible when it serves her interests or survival— at least up to a point. She flinches from his violence when it is put into practice before her rather than in theory alone. Bedelia’s nightmare also precedes permanent injury and demise due to Hannibal’s influence, her leg amputated before the consumption followed by murder that Hannibal and Will have both separately vowed is in her future is presumably performed.

Will’s dream occurs in Primavera (S3Ep2). The episode opens on his memories of the events of Mizumono in Hannibal’s kitchen while he’s unconscious and dreaming in his hospital bed, his and Abigail’s blood smearing across the tiles. His connection to Hannibal— represented by the ravenstag in Will’s subconscious blending of the black stag statue in Hannibal’s office and the scavenging ravens on the stag head of Cassie Boyle’s tableau, Hannibal’s “gift” to him— has been gutted, opened for harvest. The truth of it has been bared in a way he can no longer ignore and obfuscate through separation and tragedy, and so too has the truth of who he is willing and wanting to be and be with as a result. The ravenstag’s blood subsumes everything, and he sinks in it. Where Alana and Bedelia stood out as bright spots in the darkness, unwilling to literally sink to Hannibal’s level and maintaining some level of moral standards and more humane views no matter what, Will is cast in the same color as the blood around him. Where they sank face-up, discomfited and desperate as they reached for the surface and lost their air, Will peacefully sinks face-down. He extends an arm to the shadowed depths of the blood ocean in a way that’s reminiscent of Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam, as if reaching for his personal devil in the depths rather than God. Reaching for Hannibal so they can be made whole once more, so the scar on his abdomen can have a partner who shares his feast of the forbidden to match it as the rib God ripped from Adam formed Eve.

-@in-his-heart

Omg uhhh

Butcher Vanity

Recigide ship (RW)

Scav King/Chieftain

My fam

Drawing/art

five things that make us happy hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

-Lovejoy

-Tick, Tick... Boom!'s soundtrack

-Wilbur's content

-Writing

-Our friends :D

And ten people hmmmmm

@crimson-blood-sys @kaiimp3 @l0ve-0f-the-sxn @crescentcat64 @crying-cardinal @the-trav3ler @sg-se @thomasisctommy @niki-is-neato @belleloveswilbur

1. lovejoy

2. my boyfriend

3. facetimes with my best friend

4. onesies

5. music in general

1. Lovejoy/music

2. JOE GOLDSMITH !!

3. james marriott

4. shut up i’m talking podcast

5. my guitar (and playing guitar W/ FRIENDS)

(kinda did more than five technically but it’s fineeee)

Grimm

2. IC3PEAK

3. WatcherTV

4. My sister making me food <33

5. Pirates!!

1. Megadeth

2. Cartoons made by Seth Macfarlane

3. My friends

4. Dancing

5. Animals

1. Talking with my friends

2. My dog

3. Finishing a book

4. New music from my fav bands

5. Expanding my cd collection

1. My friends and family

2. Physical media (music, movies, books)

3. Writing

4. Coffee

5. Gilmore girls

1. X reader fics here on tumblr

2. Lizzy Grant

3. Being creative, whenever it's me doing silly or serious stuff

4. Daydreaming

5. Turkish delights

Britpop

making art and sewing

acting

shoppinggg

@bookdragonri and @elegantstarryotter (my irl best friends)

Supernatural

playing my guitar and piano

my crush ehehe (that's right- ur girl likes someone who's real lmao)

tyler, the creator's music

taking care of myself and our planet<3

thank you for tagging me my love!

supernatural

resident evil

my best friends i love you allll

j2

my family and my pets

okay so lwk i reblogged this to my side blog (main is @ashwinchester67) bc it gets more ppl

My family

my friends!

my art

my animals

SUPERNATURAL!

CARS CARS CARS

Talking to random people abt random stuff

Drawing/animating

Looking at nature, trees, lakes, bugs...

Music/poetry

Honorable mention to Supernatural bcs it made me sad a bunch of times two

I’ve never done this before so give me a lil break!

1. The supernatural fandom

2. Hannibal NBC

3. My pets! Gotta put them in here

4. Vintage cars I see randomly through my day

5. BIRDS (I love them!)

for me, cas’ love for dean is an embodiment of both intense care and profound shame. he’s an angel, and bc of that, he can sense—almost instinctively—that dean harbors some kind of love (different to what dean feels for sam) for him as well. but from the moment cas recognizes that love, he’s terrified that what he has to offer back, will never be enough. as an angel, he feels fundamentally unworthy of being loved in a human way.

he does, however, understand that dean’s love for him is romantic. dean loves him the way he would love a woman, a man, or anyone of any gender—it’s human, embodied, and deeply personal. cas can see this clearly, from what he’s drawn in over his 1000+ year watch over humanity. what he struggles with is deciphering whether what he feels maps cleanly onto human concepts of romance, or whether it’s something adjacent to love, and different from what he feels for sam and others—still just as intense.

but what cas does recognize is that dean’s love is itself burdened by shame—shame shaped by dean’s upbringing, in a world where loving someone of the same gender is framed as sinful. cas doesn’t internalize that particular stigma in the same way, but he does carry his own guilt: guilt over loving a human at all, guilt over loving anything at all. for all angels, love—especially romantic love—is transgressive. human attachment is a kind of sin, regardless of gender.

so cas experiences his feelings as something foreign: a celestial being harboring a profoundly human kind of love. he can name it, and he can parallel it to what he understands of romance, but he remains ashamed of it bc he believes it’s inadequate—too small, too impure, too limited for what dean deserves.

so by the time cas finally confesses his love, he’s able to do so only bc he knows it will cost him everything, and bc he’s at peace with the knowledge that dean will be spared, and will be able to “get over him” at some point—in his mind, dean will be spared the burden of loving him back. cas can give his love freely in that moment bc he believes it will never be returned—at least not in the insufficient way he feels for dean—and that, to him, feels like the only way his kind of love can exist…which is what leads him to the empty, content.