lua

that is, until he met you. well, he was still as bad at flirting as always, and as unwilling to try it, but he regretted not having tried to date more. because now he has you, this beautiful woman, that loves him in a way he thinks he's never been loved before, and he doesn't know what to do.

of course he's not stupid. he knows how you're supposed treat a woman, especially one like you. but he couldn't give you everything tou deserved. it's not that he didn't want to, he did, so much, he simply wasn't capable of it.

he doesn't think he could've been, even in his prime. when he was younger and healthy and, well, he might even say nice looking. at least he thought if he had been able to keep his quirk, keep working, he'd be a better match for you. he could at least be a hero for you. not for anyone else, no.

now he just teaches. he doesn't do what he once did. he doesn't look like he once did, nor does he feel like it. he's stuck with this body in this state of mind and he can't escape it. he can't make himself do better, not even for you. and that's driving him crazy.

"hey, what are you doing up so late, hm?" he hears your soft voice behind him, and snaps out of his thoughts for a second.

he looks up to the screen of his laptop. 2:02. he sighs.

"did i wake you?" he asks lowly, bringing one hand over yours where it rests on his shoulder.

"no. don't worry. i got up for a glass of water." you mutter lazily and lean over his back, trying to see what he was doing on the laptop. you already knew, but you still check. "still working, love? you should come to bed with me."

"i know. just gotta finish this." shota's voice is as unemotional as ever, but you're a bit bothered by it. something sounds off. maybe it's just your brain, coated in a sleep haze. but maybe it's not so you squeeze his shoulder. "really."

"oh, really?" you scoff a bit and roll your eyes. it's never just one thingt with him, and you know that.

though he's not even looking at you, he knows you're rolling your eyes. he knows he's annoying you, because you hate falling asleep with him beside you, and waking up to an empty bed. even more if it's in the middle of the night. he feels bad, he truly does, and he feels like it's one of the things that he should've known. he should've finished work earlier, so he could now just be beside the beautiful woman that he loves, in bed.

but it's not that simple. he's not that simple.

your hand stretches out from behind him and reaches to close the laptop. he holds your wrist and tries to look at you, but he can't see your face too well in the poorly lit living room.

"finish this, tomorrow, shota. it's too late." your voice is stern enough that it makes him let go of you.

"i need to do this now."

"no, you don't. you can do it in the morning."

he sighs and closes his eye. he knows where this is going. and it's impossible that his mind doesn't sneak once again to that place.

he's not a good boyfriend. he should be doing what you're telling him, cause you're right. he can do that in the morning. he doesn't have to be here right now with the bright light of the laptop screen burning his good eye. but he is. he can't sleep, and he can't do anything else, so he just does this.

you close the laptop and you two stand in the dark for a few seconds. your hand slides back to his shoulder, and this time you pull him back on his chair. "bed, shota."

he shivers. cause your voice is so soft, and so loving, and so caring. he doesn't want to say no to that. but he can't say yes. you'll fall asleep in a second and he'll be stuck thinking all kinds of (horrible) things beside you all night.

he turns around on the rolling chair easily and stares at you, though it's dark and he can barely see your face. he can see your eyes. the soft glow the moon casts on your skin through the open window.

"i'm not really tired." he mutters tapping his fingers on the arm of his chair as a distraction.

you trace the bags under his eyes, dark and deep, though you they don't mean much. he always has them, even after a night of sleep. he's not wearing his eye patch, which is rare these days, even at home. you don't linger too much on his left side, knowing he doesn't like being reminded of what's not there anymore.

"i don't care. just want you beside me." you shrug with a small playful smile before bending down to look into his eye. he doesn't like that. he tenses up and stares at you the same way he does when he scolds a student. "don't give me this."

"i'm not giving you anything, really." he mutters and you feel like he means that in some other way. you want to press, but you've been with shota long enough to know that pushing him never works.

so, instead, you sigh deeply and sit on his lap. he adjusts quickly to the new comforting weight on his legs, and his cold, always cold, hands sneak under your over sized shirt and rest against your skin. your calf touches te freezing metal of his prosthetic leg. you shiver, but you don't complain.

"you're right. you're not giving me much. i don't like it when you're playing the 'one sentence guy' part." you raise your brows and wrap one arm around his neck, body melting against his.

"i don't have much to say." he replies after a couple silent moments. not because he wants to, he doesn't. but he feels like he should. like you're expecting something from him. and he never wants to leave you hanging, though he feels like he already is. "i'm just tired."

"you always are. but you're not always like this." you shrug and rest your head against his. he squeezes your waist.

"i guess."

and then you two are silent again. he hates it, cause it gives him time to think. and he doesn't want to think, he wants to be something different. he wants to shut his brain up. he can't help but remember that once he would've picked you up and taken you to bed with him. and he no longer could. how he once knew he could protect you from almost anything. and how he now can't. he can't do anything these days.

"you know i love you, right?" you say after a while and he tenses even more at that. you feel him nodding against you, but he doesn't say anything. "i love you."

"i know." his voice comes much later and so low you barely hear it. he wants to say it back. but his throat feels like it's closing up on itself, and he doesn't want to risk it.

"so why are you acting like you don't?"

this time he furrows his brows and shifts underneath you. "i'm sorry."

"so, you know what i'm talking about?" you lean back to get a better look on his face, and he stares back at you.

"i could guess." he shrugs. you nod and squeeze his shoulder, waiting for an elaboration, he knows. "i'm-" he starts and stops, taking a deep breath and looking away from you. he's usually very straightforward, but this is wearing him down. he feels like he's stripped bare and you're analyzing every inch of his useless limp body.

"i'm old. and i'm tired. i feel like i can't keep up with you, sometimes. i can't give you what you want." he doesn't look at you when he says it, because he knows the face you're gonna look at him with.

"and what do i want?" you answer so quickly he barely has time to suppress his shock. "how do you know what i want? you didn't ask."

"some things don't have to be said." he shrugs as if it's obvious. as if it's clear that whatever he gives you is not what you want. not what you need. "i'm not like i used to be."

"yeah, that's right, you're not." you narrow your eyes at him and don't look away. you need him to get you. "but why is that a bad thing?"

he scoffs almost immediately and rolls his eye. he misses when he could do it with both. he feels like it would make more of an effect right now. "oh, is it a good one, then? that i'm old and with one less leg and eye? that an upgrade?"

"would you stop saying it like that, shota?" you complain lowly before closing your eyes. his hands are still squeezing your waist and it feels like he's holding onto you. like he's trying not to be taken away.

"but it's true."

"it happened, it doesn't mean you're less of a person, though." you scoff a little annoyed now. because it seems like he really wants to argue. he looks at you with his jaw tight, his open eye staring at you intently. "i don't feel any differently about you now than i did before."

"i do." he simply says, refusing to look away from you until you got it. until you read his mind so he wouldn't have to say it out loud.

"shota..." you mutter and close your eyes, leaning your face forward until your forehead meets his. you can't see, but you feel the soft breath he lets out against your lips.

"i don't want to be the one that holds you back." he mutters so lowly you barely even hear it. it's like he doesn't really want you to. you keep your eyes closed, you know he'll feel better if you aren't looking. you brush your noses together softly and hear him let out a low groan.

"you're not. i'm exactly where i want to be." you lean in to leave a soft kiss against his lips. he lets it linger and takes in a sharp breath. his whole body relaxes against you, and you feel so good knowing you can still do that to him.

"are you? really?" he scoffs, but his voice sounds much less tense now. your hand slides up his neck and to his chin, feeling the stubble growing there. "do you want to be up at two in the morning calming down your boyfriend as if he's a toddler in distress?"

you roll your eyes before opening them, and give him a small smile. he doesn't smile back, but you know he wants to. "yeah, that's right where i wanna be. anywhere you are is where i wanna be."

"sounds unlikely."

"i don't care what you think. it doesn't matter. i've changed, too. do i bring you down?" you ask, scratching his chin softly. you can swear you hear him purr like a cat.

"you try sometimes." he shrugs and gives you a small lopsided grin, and you can't help but smile back.

"oh, so funny." you mutter, biting your lower lip. your eyes are so full of love he can practically see it coming in waves off of you. "if i ever think you're bringing me down, considering i don't wanna be brought down by you, i'll just break up with you. ok?"

"reassuring." he nods softly, but he likes hearing you say that. you always know what to tell him. and though that makes him feel a bit bad now, because he doesn't always know what to tell you, at least it seems like you don't mind.

"it's supposed to be." you smile and lean in again to kiss his soft lips. you make sure it lasts longer now. you let your mouth open slightly and you feel his tongue against yours, warm, wet and soft. you melt against each other, while his hands climb up your back, making you arch forward.

"i know you love me. you let me do this." he mutters against your lips when you stop kissing for just a second and you can't help but laugh lowly.

"yeah, and you love me too, right?" you ask, biting his lip playfully. you know this doesn't solve all of his problems. you know it's not a permanent answer and you know that what he's feeling tonight has been there for long, and it won't just disappear. but, for now, you two can kiss softly and enjoy the moment. because you love each other and sometimes that's enough.

"always will." he says before kissing you again.

the first time you two kissed it was actually quite sweet. you had been flirting awkwardly for a while and it seemed like everyone had noticed it, so yuuji decided enough was enough and invited you for a date. he took you to the center of tokyo, and you two walked around the streets, you doing most of the talking, cause he was too busy being mesmerized by you. when you were walking back to the station, he stoppped to buy you two ice cream, and of course you shared a cone.

it was corny, yeah, but yuuji was a little corny sometimes. you got a little bit of ice cream in your chin and he leaned in to clean it. and, of course, because you looked at him with those wide eyes and your breath shifted, he kissed you. it was soft, and sweet, and a bit cold and vanilla flavored. but it was so quick, you barely got to hear the little hum he let out against your mouth.

that's how you kissed for a while. just sweet little pecks that were just short enough that you didn't have time to notice the low sounds yuuji made against your mouth. he always pulled back just a second before he couldn't hold back anymore and showed you a little lopsided grin.

so, the first time you kissed kissed, was in your room. you had planned it all out, honestly, you wouldn't lie. you invited him over to watch a movie so he could, allegedly, work on controlling his cursed energy. of course, all of that went out the window in the first twenty minutes of the movie.

it started out innocent, really. he kept by your side, only your shoulder touching softly. then, he moved to wrap his fingers around yours. you smiled and looked away from the screen, squeezing his hand softly.

it went downhill from there. holding hands quickly turned to a hand caressing your thigh softly, then squeezing, then the same hand sliding around your waist, until you decided to end the torment. with a small impatient huff, you turned to the side and cupped his cheek before leaning in, a little slow, cause it was fun to tease him before connecting your lips together.

it started like every other kiss you ever share, something soft, chaste. but then you opened your mouth slightly and he tensed. you were just starting to think how sweet that was, he was probably nervous, before he opened his mouth too.

you were breathless. his hands quickly gripped your waist, hard, and his tongue was inside your mouth, he was biting your lower lip, and he was... he was humming against your mouth. suddenly, he stopped, and pulled back, staring at you with his eyes a little wide and labored breathing.

"i'm sorry! i-i'm so sorry, i just got a little carried away." he stammered, giggling a bit and cleaning his throat. you looked at him and scoffed, absolutely shocked. carried away? that's what he called it. "won't happen again."

"won't happen again? i hope it does, yuuji." you laughed, still trying to catch your breath. you slid your had from his cheek to his neck and smiled. "that was great, keep doing that."

"oh, really?" he smiled, still a bit unsure. you were surprised at how surprised he was that you liked it. you nodded and leaned in to kiss his cheek softly, and he made a low sound that you could only hear because you were so close to him.

"yeah, really." you rolled your eyes. then you leaned in, clicking your tongue, as if you were impatient. " come on here."

and this time, he started it. not at all like it began before. he took in a sharp breath before your lips collided, and his tongue was warm against your and then, he whined against you. his tongue moved softly inside your mouth and you not only heard, but you felt the soft high-pitched sound he let out. it vibrated against your lips and it sent a shock straight to your core. it was so unlike him. that sound stretched longer and he only stopped to pull back for a deep breath before he was kissing you again, and whining again, and louder this time.

his hands gripped your waist so hard you felt his nails digging in your skin even through your shirt. you slid your hand from his neck to his hair and in an impulsive move, you pulled it. and you pulled it hard.

and then he moaned. loud. it parted your kiss with the way he opened his mouth and you saw his pretty pinched brows. the sound coming from his throat made you shiver.

"oh, god, fuck you yuuji." you muttered under your breath, voice shaky with need. "you're so loud."

"i can't help it, baby, you just feel so good." he said it, and it was a whine, really, and you didn't know how much more of this you could handles before bursting into flames.

he kept squeezing your waist and the movie was just background noise, while you climbed on his lap, lips finding one another once again. you swallowed up his noises gladly, and he pressed his big warm hands underneath your shirt, the feeling so good against your skin. you wrapped your arms around his neck and he melted around you. his breathing is so uneven and so loud, and you feel something press deliciously in the space between your legs.

but what mesmerizes you is that he's not even whining cause of that. every time you lick his mouth he lets out a delicious little sound that drives you crazy. then you pull his hair, and there it is again. you feel like you're in heave.

"is that why we only kiss for five seconds in public? cause you can't be quiet?" you asked after pulling back to take a breath. he was staring up at you with wide shiny eyes and wet, puffy lips that drive you insane.

he chuckled and nuzzled against your neck before answering. you shivered.

"i don't really care about that. but i figured you'd be embarrassed, so, yeah, i guess that's why." his voice was low and you felt it against your skin while he left wet kisses on your neck.

"i wouldn't want anyone else to hear like this. rather keep it to me." you shrugged, biting your lower lip so hard he worried it would bleed. but you felt his hips grind up at your words and smiled widely. "you like that, huh?"

"i like everything that comes out of your pretty mouth, baby." and that's all he says before going back to whining against your lips again.

and he likes the attention. he bathes in it. he loves to make women unravel at the sight of him. he loves giving them a playful wink and see them blush and bite their lips nervously. but he also likes a challenge.

if there's one woman that doesn't at least look at him twice, he'll take it personally, because of course he does. why wouldn't he? he knows some girls just "don't care about looks" (which he doesn't believe at all, how can someone not care about looks? total bullshit), but even then, they'll have to cave when he opens his mouth. cause he knows how to win someone over with words.

and then, if even that doesn't work, he's puzzled. no, even more, he's a bit offended. he's sensitive like that, he thinks, but he doesn't wanna take no for an answer. like, she has to be a little bit attracted to him. right? but she's not. actually, she might even be a little bit, but it's so fucking good to see that man who's so full of himself act like a puppy just to get her attention. so she keeps on pretending she doesn't really care about him.

he's doing all he can, flashes his most beautiful smiles, brushes his hair back in that way he knows looks fucking good. he uses all of his carefully chosen pick up lines, leans in close when he's talking to her, cause he knows that's gotta fluster her. and when none of that shit works, he's so frustrated. he's been using all his weapons and this woman doesn't even bat an eye at him twice!

and what's even worse is not that she doesn't care. it's that she's mean about it, too. if she wasn't so fucking beautiful he'd say she was a bit of a bitch. every time he does a nice thing, like open a door for her, she'll give him the most disgusted look ever and scoff. she doesn't have to say anything, he feels her disapproval from afar. it frustrates him to no end, and it makes him try even harder.

after a while, he realizes how fucking crazy he must look. he grew almost obsessed with this girl, and with the way he acts, he knows how that looks like from the outside. but at this point, he doesn't even care anymore, he really just wants her attention! so fucking much.

every time their class goes out, he buys her a drink, he makes sure he's the one sitting beside her. in every mission, he's got her back, he always makes sure she's safe, if she needs help. but time after time she'll shrug his help off as if it's the most offensive things she's ever seen. she'll roll her eyes and walk off, she'll switch seats, she'll do anything just to see that little shocked look on his face.

he fucks so good. he loves giving head so much. he'll go down on you and spend hours down there. easily. he's the kind of guy that will hump the mattress while he eats you out, he'll fucking cum just from that. you don't have to touch him, i swear. he'd spend hours with your legs wrapped around his head, his hands digging on the meat of your ass from how hard he grips you.

and he's so good at it. so, so, so good. you spend the night rolling your eyes and biting your lips to stop yourself from screaming. your toes are curling and you're pulling his hair, and you swear you can't even breathe. that's how good he is.

he pisses you off, too. after all that, he'll pull his head up from between your legs and rest his chin on the base of your stomach and stare up at you, lips glistening with the evidence of what he'd just done to you. and he'll ask, in the most fucking innocent voice "d'you like it?"

i feel like they don’t really fight a lot between the two of them, they just bicker. petty little arguments here and there, but rarely something serious. same for you and kirishima. except you two rarely even have little arguments cause he’s always willing to give in to you. you can want to start a screaming match and he’ll just graciously slip out of it by agreeing with everything you say.

that’s not what you can say for you and katsuki, though. you don’t really fight a lot, but when you do it’s… intense to say the very least. he always lets things escalate, and you don’t care enough to put out the fire. he gets out the worst of you. and it’s not that you’re always fighting, no. eijirou usually catches up to the two of you before you can choke katsuki to death and things sort out.

but he’s not always there. and things with you and katsuki can get complicated, you two are complicated. always have been. since the three of you were just friends, aspiring heroes at UA. though katsuki was much worse back then, regarding the way he spoke to anyone who crossed his path, he still has his moments. he still loses his calm, he still growls, he still complains and lets his anger get the best of him. it’s not always, but it happens.

and you don’t make it easy for him, either. it’s always an argument. you’re never willing to let something slide, like eijirou does. cause eijirou does it all the time. he ignores it when katsuki lets out a small mean comment, because he knows he doesn’t actually mean it. it’s just the heat of the moment. and he usually apologizes after. he's learned how to do that without complaining too much, after a couple of years. but you can’t do that. you never can.

and katsuki doesn’t think you’re wrong. no, that’s not it, he just can’t control it, when it happens. when he stops to think, things already escalated and the two of you are already screaming in each others faces. he doesn’t like that, it doesn’t make him happy yelling at you for mostly stupid reasons. but you yell back at him, too. you’re rude and you don’t tear up when he raises his voice. you stand your ground and yell back. you don’t let him swallow you. and i wouldn't say he likes that, but he's glad you're like this. he's glad that he doesn't have to hold back, that he doesn't have to get out of the house so he can calm down, that he doesn't have to step on eggs with you. you meet him where he's at. he asks if you're stupid, and you affirm that he is.

eijirou is always a little shocked when you two get this heated. he looks between the two of you with eyes a little wide.

"you're being ridiculous, katsuki. you're acting like a fucking baby." you spit out for about the billionth time this night as your arms are crossed over your chest. you stand behind the couch where eijirou sits and watch katsuki with unforgiving eyes. he doesn't seem fazed by it.

"i'm not the one throwing a fit." he spits back, angrily, but not bothering to even look at you. instead he walks all the way to the bathroom and you hear water running. he keeps the door open, though and you move to go after him. you're not planning on ketting this go easily.

"hey, babe," you hear eijirou's voice low, while he grabs your wrist. "maybe, let this go for now? he's tired and... y'know this isn't going anywhere, right?"

"this is going wherever the fuck i want it to go, eijirou."

"which is downhill, apparently." he rolls his eyes at you before pulling you closer by your wrist until your hips are against the back of the couch.

"yeah, it might be." you huff out impatiently, trying, without success, to slip out of his grasp. "i just fucking can't with him, eiji! why does he have to be such a bitch all the time?"

eijirou shrugs and that pisses you off even more, while he tries to flip you over the back of the couch. "you know he's like that... don't pick fights that aren't going anywhere."

"this was going somewhere, until you stopped me." you complain, letting your body lean as forward as you could over the sofa, almost folding in half, while eijirou pulled you by the waist now. it's uncomfortable, but you know he's just distracting you to keep you from arguing with katsuki.

"it was going to kill me, that's what it was." he gives you his pretty grin, and you can't help but smile back a bit, even if your're still annoyed. "stop trying to kill your nice boyfriend. or else you're gonna be stuck with the mean one."

"oh, fuck off, stupid hair. you're not the nice boyfriend, you're the fucking stupid one!" you both hear katsuki's loud and voice before you see him. but you do feel him.

his hand are around your hips all of a sudden, hoisting you up and throwing you down beside eijirou on the couch. your legs flail around the air, and you try to aim them at katsuki before he manages to throw you over the back of the sofa, but you fail.

for a second you're so surprised with the whole move that you even forget how pissed you were at him.

eijirou holds you by the waist so you don't roll down to the ground, because though katsuki hadn't actually thrown you, he hadn't been exactly delicate either. you let out a sound between a yelp and a scoff as you move to sit up, shocked.

"what the fuck is your problem, katsuki?!" you start, and you really have a whole fucking speech prepared (a weak one, but still), but when you raise your gaze to look at him you stop.

he knows what he's doing. his hair's wet and down, like it rarely is, dripping water onto his shoulders. which are a whole other department he's shirtless, and only has a towel to very loosely wrapped around his waist, hanging so low you can see the trail on blonde hair that leads to his groin.

what a low move, you think.

eijirou seems surprised by your sudden lack of words and looks back as well.

"oh, i see. so, no more arguing, hm?" eijirou chuckles and you see him lick his lips.