Sunglasses Cat's Lair

Summary: This is a what if scenario in which the young master is aware of the existence of game mechanics and behaves ridiculously throughout his journey. After all, if you know you are invincible, you are bound to act with little restraint. Jiang Yan could only stare at the boy’s beaming grin with lifeless eyes. “Were you planning to hide it if I hadn’t found out?” “Yes?” “Did you think it would heal on its own?” Jiang Yan narrowed his eyes further. “Of course! My HP will go up once I eat some food. No big deal!” *** This is not a self-insert or transmigration story. The young master is fully native to the world and has no knowledge of the modern world. He is only aware of the game mechanics themselves and nothing beyond that. The main character will not be named and will instead be addressed as the boy, young man, young master, young hero, or young wanderer. No Romance.

The boy that Jiang Yan had saved was unlike any other child he had encountered. Not that Jiang Yan had much experience dealing with children. However, he had seen enough of them to know that they generally cried and fussed over many things. Yet the boy he had saved did not cry at all as they traveled through wind and rain. No complaints or sobs came from him, except for that one time when he received a wound on his cheek after Jiang Yan let his guard down while fighting the Void King.

Indeed, the boy was very unique. Perhaps that was thanks to his origins. Still, there should have been some limit to how odd a child could be, shouldn’t there? It was not that Jiang Yan was complaining that the boy was too quiet. He was certainly anything but quiet, thanks to his rambunctious nature and seemingly endless energy. The boy never appeared to get tired. He could run endlessly and cause limitless mischief.

Jiang Yan would argue that keeping an eye on the boy could almost be considered martial arts training. If he let his guard down for even a second, the boy would already be off creating his next bit of chaos. Chasing butterflies and bothering a goose were on the lower end of that scale. At one point, Jiang Yan had the unpleasant experience of returning home after a short mission to find that the boy had broken both of his legs.

He had only been gone for an afternoon, dealing with wandering bandits who had dared to stray too close to Heaven’s Pier. He had left the boy at home, certain that there was no way the child could cause serious trouble. The boy was growing quickly and had boundless energy, but he was still only five years old. What kind of trouble could a child get into while stuck inside a bamboo hut in the middle of nowhere? Jiang Yan had been sure of it, and deeply regretted it.

The moment he saw the boy running toward him, he knew something was wrong.

Because of his training as a martial artist, Jiang Yan immediately noticed that something was off with the boy’s legs. He grabbed the boy by the scruff and lifted him into the air, then wrapped his hand around the boy’s right leg, only to find the bone completely broken. He checked the other leg, and sure enough, it was broken as well.

The injuries were so severe that even an adult would have been crying on the ground in pain. Jiang Yan glared at the boy, who was smiling sheepishly.

“What did you do?” Jiang Yan asked.

“Don’t be mad, Uncle Jiang,” the boy pleaded, widening his eyes as he tried to use his youthful innocence to avoid punishment.

“Explain,” Jiang Yan said, narrowing his eyes.

Seeing Jiang Yan so serious, the boy quickly folded. Further resistance would only earn him a longer punishment, so he told him everything. Apparently, the boy had grown bored being trapped inside the house and decided to sneak out despite Jiang Yan’s repeated warnings. He was then distracted by a cat and played with it for a while before spotting a cluster of butterflies. As usual, he decided to chase after the group of insects. However, the butterflies led him too close to a bear, which then began chasing him. Not wanting to be eaten, the boy leapt off a cliff and fell down.

“But don’t worry! I landed on my feet, just like a cat!” the boy said proudly, conveniently leaving out how he had flailed like a fish in the air while falling.

Jiang Yan could only stare at the boy’s beaming grin with lifeless eyes. “Were you planning to hide it if I hadn’t found out?”

“Yes?”

“Did you think it would heal on its own?” Jiang Yan narrowed his eyes further.

“Of course! My HP will go up once I eat some food. No big deal!”

That was another thing about this boy. He loved talking about strange concepts that no one else could understand. Jiang Yan had asked about it before, and the boy had explained at length, but all Jiang Yan could think was that it was the rambling of a child with an overactive imagination.

“Foolish child. If you don’t set the bones properly, they’ll grow crooked, and you’ll never walk properly again,” Jiang Yan scolded, trying to instill some fear into him. He already suspected that the boy might not have fully functioning pain nerves, which would explain why he was never afraid of anything.

“No way! As long as I don’t fall again, it won’t get worse!” the boy said with absolute certainty, as sure as he was that the sky was blue. “And then maybe… I’ll ask Yaoyao to help me…”

So the boy had intended to hide this from the adults. Jiang Yan sighed, slung the boy over his shoulder, and used his lightness skill to head to the Evercare Clinic, where the unfortunate Tian delivered his own brand of lecture. The boy looked absolutely miserable throughout it.

Jiang Yan ignored the boy’s repeated desperate looks. In his mind, he resolved that whenever he left the house for too long, he would send the boy to Han Xiangxun instead.

Perhaps it was thanks to his youth, or perhaps the boy simply had a unique constitution, but regardless, he recovered quickly. It did not take long before he began badgering Jiang Yan about being taught martial arts.

“If I could fight, I wouldn’t have needed to run away from that bear. I could’ve just swoosh, slash, and then the bear would be dead!” the boy said, mimicking sword slashes with his hand.

“Do you think learning martial arts is that easy?” Jiang Yan asked. He sat at the table outside the hut, drinking a jar of wine, while the boy continued to pester him.

“Of course. I’m a genius, Uncle Jiang. I can copy any martial art with just one look,” the boy boasted.

Jiang Yan didn’t take it seriously at all and simply took another sip of wine.

“So come on. Let me see your martial arts,” the boy begged, whining.

“No. You haven’t finished your horse stance training yet,” Jiang Yan said.

“But it’s so boring,” the boy groaned, dropping his head onto the table with a thunk.

Jiang Yan only scoffed. He wouldn’t deny that the boy was gifted. Thanks to his seemingly endless stamina, he could train without stopping. The problem was that, like most children, he had a very limited attention span. He couldn’t properly follow instructions and would quickly get distracted, abandoning his training halfway through.

“I said no,” Jiang Yan said.

“Uncleeee Jiaaaaang,” the boy groaned dramatically, as if he would die if Jiang Yan didn’t fulfill his demand.

“No.”

“Uuuugh.”

“If you have time to complain, you have time to train.”

The boy let out another dramatic groan. Then, with his head lowered, he walked a few steps away and began doing his horse stance. Jiang Yan continued sitting and drinking his wine while the boy muttered under his breath. It wasn’t loud at all, and an ordinary person wouldn’t have heard it, but as a martial artist, Jiang Yan’s senses were far sharper. He could easily hear what the boy was saying.

“I swear, once I’ve unlocked my Inner Arts and Mystic Skills, I’ll beat Uncle Jiang,” the boy muttered heatedly.

Jiang Yan snorted. He would love to see that.

And so the years passed peacefully. The boy grew into a teenager, yet his mischief never once ceased. He was always up to something and never seemed to have the words “impossible” or “dangerous” in his dictionary.

Eventually, Jiang Yan taught him the Nameless Swordsmanship and Spearmanship, hoping that if the boy could at least defend himself, he wouldn’t get into too much danger. The boy was already too grown for Jiang Yan to force him to stay at home all the time, not that he ever could. At the very least, with these martial arts, it would be less likely for Jiang Yan to find the boy dead in a ditch somewhere after getting into too big of a mess.

The boy looked absolutely smug when he grasped the Nameless martial arts so quickly. As the one who had developed these inner arts, Jiang Yan was genuinely surprised, though he didn’t show it on his face. The boy was a genius, but no amount of genius could surpass real experience.

The moment the boy tried to attack Jiang Yan, he was easily countered. Jiang Yan moved and struck him on the head with the flat of his sword, sending the boy crashing to the ground.

“Ow. Ow. Ow.” the boy clutched his throbbing forehead.

“Never get cocky,” Jiang Yan said.

“You’re cheating, Uncle Jiang. You’re probably like level 100. Show some mercy to this level 1 beginner,” the boy shouted angrily. “There’s no way I can beat your speed when I don’t even have proper gear.”

Jiang Yan rolled his eyes. What gear. He was just hitting the boy with a wooden sword.

“That’s what happens when you slack off in training.”

The boy growled softly and then puffed out his cheeks in annoyance.

Jiang Yan would have loved to keep teaching and nurturing the boy, but the world did not give him any more time to rest. He received a letter from an old colleague asking for his help with Tian Ying, and so Jiang Yan had no choice but to leave. He sent the boy to stay with Han Xiangxun, knowing the woman could keep an eye on him.

Of course, the boy refused to let Jiang Yan leave on his own once he heard that Jiang Yan would be leaving Qinghe for a long time.

“Come on, Uncle Jiang. I’m old enough to enter the jianghu. You can’t keep me cooped up here forever. I’ll be stuck at level one until I die at this rate,” the boy whined.

“Of course,” Jiang Yan replied.

“Eh?” The boy blinked. He had fully expected Jiang Yan to reject his demand, forcing him to secretly follow behind. Surprisingly, that was not the case.

“I said you can come,” Jiang Yan said. “Provided you can actually do it.”

“What? Are you going to try to stop me?”

“No.”

“Then what’s the big deal? When’s the date you’ll leave? I’ll go prepare everything,” the boy said, his eyes sparkling.

He immediately left Jiang Yan and headed toward Heaven’s Pier to gather supplies. All the while, he bragged to everyone he met about how he was going to enter the jianghu. From babies to old grannies, everyone heard how the young master of Blissful Retreat was about to set off on a journey. Inevitably, the news reached Han Xiangxun’s ears.

The woman immediately put her foot down and grabbed the boy by the scruff, preventing him from joining Jiang Yan as he boarded the boat.

“Where do you think you’re going, young man?” Han Xiangxun asked, narrowing her eyes.

“A-Aunt Han, l-let me go. I need to go to the jianghu,” the boy shouted desperately, struggling. Sadly, he was no match for the Water Lady, whose grip was firm like shackles.

“Jianghu, jianghu. A brat like you wants to enter the jianghu? You’d be dead the moment you step foot in it,” Aunt Han barked.

“Uncle Jiang, help me,” the boy shrieked, reaching out helplessly toward him.

Jiang Yan merely watched the scene and said, “I said you can come if you can do it.”

It wasn’t his fault that the boy had such a big mouth and let Han Xiangxun find out that he planned to tag along with Jiang Yan. That woman had always been against teaching the boy martial arts, wanting him to grow up as an ordinary person, far away from the bloody and tangled mess of the jianghu world.

“Uncleeeee Jiiiiaaaaaaang,” the boy’s scream echoed across the river as the boatman rowed the boat away.

Jiang Yan remained seated in his place. He kept watching as the scene grew smaller and smaller, until the boy turned into a speck. Even then, he could still make out the rambunctious struggle the boy was putting up.

Hopefully, he would see the boy again soon.