My little Corner of life

It seemed like these days, there were demons everywhere. Most of the cases you and the boys went on were demons. This case was the same. It was two towns over from the bunker, so you three were going to crash and dash their little chaos party they have going on. Sam estimated five altogether, so while being outnumbered, you three hoped the element of surprise would be on your side.

While in the backseat, you were reading a new book that Dean had picked up for you not too long ago. While you were focused on your book, Dean was focused on you. He admired how your face would change when something happened in the book, how you looked cute when you were concentrating, and how, most of the time, you had a little grin that he thought was the most adorable thing in the world. His eyes fought between concentrating on the road and concentrating on you. He never expected to fall for you, but slowly, the three of you working together over the years, you found a way into his heart. You were his best friend, and you knew almost everything about him. You accepted him, flaws and all. While he wanted to pursue more and be the one to call you his, he didn’t want to mess up what the two of you already shared. So, he would wear his best friend's title with honor and ignore the feeling he got when another guy would come around. He would pretend like he wasn’t happy when they left as well.

You, on the other hand, have loved Dean Winchester since you first met. The way his green eyes looked over you, concerned and impressed when they first met you. The first time he called you sweetheart, and over the years, the pet name princess he settled for would make your heart skip a beat every time. He would grab your hand in sticky situations to keep you close and make your face turn red at the worst time, and how he tended to you so carefully after each hunt. You have loved this man for years, but he never made a move, so you wore your best friend’s title with pride and tried not to compare yourself to the women he would pick up at the bar or try to feel that glimmer of hope when he does something that doesn’t seem entirely platonic.

The three of you came to the back of the house where the demons stayed. From the window, it looked like most of them were downstairs. Dean made the plan that he and Sammy would take the downstairs with most of them, and you would head upstairs to gank any others. When you and Dean nodded, Sam kicked the door down, and the three of you rushed in.

Upstairs, you have cleared most of the rooms. You can still hear the two boys downstairs fighting, so you are trying to be quick. You open one bedroom door and step in at first, not seeing anything, and then you get hit from behind. Two men grab you, and a woman steps forward from the dark corner of the room with black eyes. There is way more than what Sammy had initially thought.

“Hmm, you seemed to have ruined my little party.” The demon faked pouted. You looked up at her with hate in your eyes.

“Go to hell.” You replied. She bent down to your level.

“Baby, I’ve been there and don’t plan on returning.” She stood back up, and one of the men looked like they were about to hit you in the head.

“Stop!” She said suddenly. The man stopped. “I think I have a better idea.” Black smoke came out of the woman and headed directly to you. Panic struck you as the smoke entered you and down your throat. You now regret not going to get an anti-possession tattoo with the boys. She was now inside your body, and you were screaming and fighting to get out. The men let you go. She turned to them.

“Get out of here unless you want the Winchesters to kill you for touching their little trophy girl. I’ll catch up to you another time.” The men nodded, and then black smoke exited the two bodies, making them drop to the floor. The demon went and stabbed each body with your demon knife, making it look like you killed them. You are screaming the entire time to stop. She looks at you in the mirror.

“Hmm, we need a little more convincing.” She takes a different knife and cuts one of your arms, your cheek, and then cuts from your eyebrow up. She makes the one starting at your eyebrow a little deeper, and she or you hiss in pain. That cut will probably need stitches.

“Princess!” You hear Dean yell as feet are pounding up the stairs. The demon smirks in your body.

“Show time, Y/N.” She snickers and then changes her face to one of fake exhaustion.

“Dean! I’m here!” You yell. You turn and run towards the door and meet Dean at the entranceway. He immediately grabs your face and looks at the gash on your head, worry clouding in his eyes. His eyes dart behind you, and see the three bodies on the floor.

“You had to take on three of them?” He said, worry and guilt laced in his question. You nod your head.

“I’m so sorry, princess; I should have come up here with you.”

“I’m okay; I took care of it.” You speak. Sam looks behind you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N; I should have known there were more.” You turn to Sam.

“It’s okay, Sammy.” You say. You look back at Dean.

“Can we go home?” You ask, the demon trying to do your little puppy face that you learned from Sam. He nods.

“Yeah, we will go home and patch you up.” The three of you start to leave. Meanwhile, you’re screaming from inside your head, trying desperately to take control just for a few seconds. 

Back at the bunker, Dean patches your cut on your face up, careful with the stitches, eyes only leaving his work temporarily to look at you. You sit there, the demon doing her best not to give off any signs that you aren’t you.

“All done, " he says. His eyes lock onto yours, and you try to scream to him that you are not him. You take his face in your hand, and he closes his eyes and leans into it.

“Thank you, Dean.” You say softly. He looks at you.

“I should have gone with you.”

“It’s okay; I’m a big girl; I took care of them.”

“Yeah, but you got hurt.”

“You patched me up; I feel as good as new.” You smile at him. He smiles and leans over, and kisses your forehead.

“I’m glad, princess; I’m going to take a shower.” You nod your head and watch him leave. As soon as he is gone, you roll your eyes and scoff.

“You two are disgusting.” The demon says in disgust to you. You are cussing her out seven ways from Sunday, but she laughs.

“Your little Dean is so smitten with you; he has no idea something is wrong with you; he is just glad his precious little Y/N is okay.” The demon makes you giggle and then gets up. She catches sight of you in the mirror and turns her eyes black.

“This is going to be so fun.”

A week. You have been trapped in your body for a week, and neither of the boys have noticed. You have stopped fighting. It's heartbreaking that the boys can’t pick up on the fact that you haven’t been in your reading corner for a week while they do research, you haven’t cooked in a week, you haven’t gone into Dean’s room in the middle of the night, or you haven’t joined Sam in for a workout. The demon has made you more flirty with Dean, which makes you sick as it’s not you, but more that Dean is giving into it and flirting back. While you would love to be on the receiving end of the flirting, it’s not you.

Without your or the demon's knowledge. The boys have noticed a change in you. They talk about it quietly while you’re not around and share glances when you do something you wouldn’t normally do or say in front of them. At first, they thought you were shaken up from having to fight three-on-one at the house, so they let you cope, but now they suspect something else is happening with you. Dean’s heart clenches whenever you make a flirty comment to you, wishing he could believe it was you saying these things to you, but that isn’t like you to be so bold in coming onto someone. He plays along to make what he thinks is a demon in you not suspicious, but also, he can briefly believe you return his sentiment.

You just came back from the bunker, talking to the two demons who were at the house. They are planning their next move, and the demon has big plans for your body and getting the Winchester brothers. Dean is sitting in his usual spot across the library, and Sam is walking in from the bedrooms.

“Hey, princess,” Dean says, looking up at you coming down the stairs.

“Hey, handsome, miss me?” You say, smiling, flirting with him. You make your way across the library.

“Always beautiful.” He flirts back with you. You go to step to him when you can’t move. You look confused.

“What?” You say. You look around, and Dean gets up and moves the corner of the rug to show part of a devil’s trap. This grabs your attention inside your mind. The demon inside you makes your face twist into anger.

“What gave me away?” You sneer at Dean.

“Few things.” Dean cocks back at you with an attitude, hate showing in his face. While you know it's not directed at you; it still hurts you a little to see him looking at your body like that.

“Firstly,” Sam starts, “Y/N always joins me in the morning for a little bit of a workout, even if it’s just fifteen minutes to get her body going for the day. She also always goes to that little corner while Dean and I are researching; she never joins in as that is the quietest time in the bunker to get a few chapters in her book done.” Sam points to the corner when your reading nook is set up that hasn’t been touched in a week.

“Next, Y/N always cooks meals while we are here; it’s something that makes her feel like she is helping since she doesn’t research, even if it is just something small and easy.” Dean continues. “She also always comes into my room in the middle of the night. She hasn’t been in her room for a whole week in a long time. Also, Y/N is never as flirty as you have been. She has never been that direct with any man, let alone her best friend. She would never say those things to me.” Dean snarks at you, jaw clenched, eyes hard.

You laugh. “Oh, Dean,” You start. You are yelling inside your mind for the demon to shut up. “Poor little Y/N was fighting for a good while to try to get to you, but she gave up.” You say darkly. “She couldn’t bear the thought that you and little Sammy couldn’t tell it wasn’t her and making her stay trapped inside her own body, so she gave up fighting. Her little heartbreaking that you two were so comfortable with me around.” Dean faltered slightly, but his eyes got hard again; Sam stood beside him, glaring at you.

“You should hear some of the things Y/N thinks about her best friend, Dean. This girl is head over heels in love with you, and it was making her so sad that you liked me better than her; flirting with me, holding me, she just wished it was her. Y/N doesn’t think you could ever love someone like her, as she is not who you usually go for, but we know better, little Dean. You are so in love with her; you couldn’t even tell the first night you brought her back; you were just so thrilled that she was being a little more handsy with you.”

“You bitch.” Dean sneers at you. Sam and Dean grab you and tie you up to a chair. Once you are tied, Dean leans over you, getting very close to you or the demon.

“You’re going to get out of her and go back to hell where you belong,” Dean says darkly. You smile.

“Careful, Dean, you’ll turn her on being so close.” Dean goes to slap you but has to stop himself, reminding himself that you are still in there and he doesn’t want to hurt you.

“Oh, you were going to hit me? Kinky Dean.” You reply seductively, trying to get a rise out of him.

“Fuck you.” He spits as Sam finds the book with the exorcism in it. Sam starts reading it, and your body starts to twitch. You look at Dean glaring.

“You know she wanted to die all week? She kept thinking about how she would rather die than have me in her body any longer. She would beg you to notice and do something, but you never did.”

“Shut up!” Dean yelled at you as Sam continued reading. The demon was gripping to stay onto you, but you could tell she was losing. You were able to take control.

“Ugh, get out of my body! Sammy, hurry up!” You yelled as your body was jerking around.

“Princess, fight it!” Dean said, getting close to you and grabbing your arms. You look at him with tears in your eyes. Then your head leans back, and the black smoke comes spilling out of your mouth before disappearing to hell, where the demon belongs. You close your eyes, breathing heavily, and little tears come down your face as the boys untie you. Dean helps you up and guides you to the couch while Sam grabs you some water. You roll your head to the side and peek your eyes open to see Dean already looking at you.

“I know that face; it’s not your fault.” You say before he has a chance to let a word out.

“I should have noticed sooner, " he responds, his hands rubbing against yours. Sam brings you the water, and you take a sip.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Sam says. You look at Sam.

“It’s not your fault, Sammy.” You say. “I’m just glad the bitch is out of me.” Sam looks at you worried.

“Was it telling the truth, Y/N? Did you want to die?” Sam asks quietly. You sigh and look at him, trying to decide how to handle the situation.

“I wanted to,” you said softly. Being able to watch what you're doing but not able to control it is the most exhausting and frustrating thing. I did things that I couldn’t stop myself from doing, and I will have to live with them for the rest of my life.” You look between the two brothers.

“But you two saved me and got me out; that’s all I can be grateful for.” You give them a small smile, and Dean looks at Sam with a pointed look. Sam gets the hint and excuses himself. Dean looks back at you.

“Was the demon lying about the other things too?” He asks quietly after a few moments of silence. Your breath hitched in your throat. You looked at him, and his eyes scanned your face, trying to figure out what you would say before you said it.

“No, it was the truth.” You finally say your heart is beating fast while looking at the other brother. Dean wastes no time leaning over and crashing his lips onto yours. He grabs your face in his hands while you drop the water bottle Sam gave you and guides your hands to his hair. You two pull away after a few moments, foreheads touching, eyes closed.

“I’ve loved you for a very long time, Dean. I never wanted to mess our friendship up, so I didn’t know how to tell you.” You whisper to him. Your eyes open to his green ones, and a smile plays at his lips.

It was always humans that threw you off. Monsters were consistent, they had signs, and you knew how they operated. Humans, on the other hand, were a wild card. They could change their motives, tactics, and scenery at any point.

You were in town buying things for dinner. You told Sam and Dean that you would make a homemade meal tonight, but you needed to go get the ingredients. You kissed your boyfriend Sam, waved bye to Dean, and told them you wouldn’t be gone for more than an hour and a half.

You were looking at the produce at this little market when you started to feel like you were being watched. You looked around but did not see anything out of the ordinary. You kept searching for the perfect tomatoes when you felt the eyes again. Something was wrong. You looked up, but everything looked the same. Until you noticed something weird. There were three ways to leave the market: by the checkout, the back door, and a side door. At each exit was a man of different build, around the same age, but all wearing the same baseball hat. Heads down, ‘looking’ at whatever was in front of them. You then realized that it was just you and those three men in the store; the cashier was nowhere in sight. You dropped the tomato you were holding and pretended to look at the other produce. You grab the pocketknife you keep in your back pocket and slide it up your sleeve, opening it and holding it against your hand. You discreetly assess which man would be easiest to get away from if you needed to. For all you know, you’re being paranoid. You then change your plan, take out your phone, and start texting Sam, saying he needs to come to the market.

“Now, why are you starting to text someone, love?” a mysterious voice says behind you. You quickly turn around, trying to hit send on the text, but accidentally calling Sam. The man knocks you out with a punch to the face and starts yelling at the other men to get you loaded up and back to the house. The whole time, Sam can hear and yell your name.

Sam’s P.O.V

I was looking up possible cases to go on when Y/N called me. I smiled and immediately picked it up.

“Hey baby, you,” I was cut short by hearing the phone clatter on the other end and a man yelling at others, telling them to put Y/N in a truck and head back to the house. I stood up.

“Y/N? Y/N!” I yell but do not get a response. Then, the phone call drops.

“Dean!” I yell, already grabbing my things. Dean comes running into the library.

“What’s wrong?”

“I think Y/N is in trouble, let go!” I say quickly, Dean following right behind me. We hurry into the Impala, and Dean slams on the gas.

“Where am I going?”

“The market, the one that Y/N always makes up stop at.” Dean presses on the gas harder as I start to bounce my leg. I pray to God, an angel, and anyone that she is okay. Dean gets up there in record time, and we see her truck as we pull up. I quickly leave the car and run into the store, calling for her. Nothing. I noticed that no one was there either. Shouldn’t there be a clerk? Dean comes up behind me.

“I get left. You get it, right?” He asks. I nod my head, our guns drawn. I round by the produce aisle and see her phone on the ground, broken as someone has stepped on it.

“Dean, I got something,” I call. Dean walks up to me and sees her phone.

“Well, that’s not good.” He mutters. My heart drops into my stomach, and I do not know how to start looking for her. I look around.

“Dean, shouldn’t someone be at the register?” I question. Dean looks around.

“Yeah, let's look around.” We split up again, trying to find out where else Y/N might have been taken.

“Sam!” I hear Dean yell. I turn and quickly return to the more excellent section where Dean stands and an employee is tied up. We quickly untie the poor guy and get him out of the cooler.

“What happened to you?” I asked, hoping he would give me any information on where Y/N was. The anxiety that the worst has already happened to her crawls up my stomach into my chest. The employee tells us that three men came into the market, they saw her, and the next thing he knew, two of them had him gagged and in the cooler, before he could even blink. They were fast and coordinated. Dean nods his head and turns to walk out of the market. I follow behind, seeing the overcast coming in. It’s going to rain soon.

“What are we thinking, demons?” Dean asks as we walk back to the Impala. I don’t answer, but I stop at her truck. My eyes start to gather tears as it sets in more and more that she is gone. Dean walks up beside me and puts his hand on my shoulder.

“We will find her, Sammy.” I nod and get in her truck to take it back to the bunker, and Dean follows in the impala. I let the tears fall the whole way back.

“I’m going to find you beautiful; just give me time,” I whisper to no one.

Your P.O.V

It’s been around two days since you were taken. You only know this by the judgment of the light coming through the little window in this rickety basement these people have you in. You have been cut, slapped, beaten on, and verbally assaulted by all three of the men who took you. You still don’t know much about them, but your hope of getting out of here is less and less every hour. There is no way for Sam to track you, have no way to figure out who took you, and these metal chains they have you restrained in aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

You hear the door to the upstairs open, and steps start coming down. You can’t help but let out a whimper. You wish you were back at the bunker with Sam and Dean. You and Sam could be cuddling on the couch, watching a movie that neither of you is paying attention to because you two are paying attention to each other instead. Dean can comment about how you two are gross and to get a room, to which Sam would respond by getting up and picking you up, causing you to laugh as Dean makes fake gagging noises as Sam leads you to your guys’ room.

Your little daydream is cut off by someone slapping your face hard. You cry out in pain and look up to see the smallest of the three guys looking at you.

“Today is a special day!” He says excitedly, breath smelling like he hasn’t brushed his teeth in years. He doesn’t wait for you to respond but keeps going. “Cousin Lance gets in today; he liked you yesterday with the pictures we sent, so he is going to come to take you!” Your eyes grow wide. You can’t leave Lebanon. The guy laughs and gets close to your face and strokes it. “It is a shame. I thought you were beautiful, and we would keep you longer.” You look at him and spit in his face. He stumbles back, not expecting you to do that.

“Ah, you bitch.” He says, punching you in the face. That’s going to leave a bruise. You hear the door open from upstairs again.

“Tanner, let's go!” You hear a voice yell, and Tanner kicks you in the stomach before leaving back up the stairs. When the door shuts, you start crying.

“Please, Sammy, hurry.” You say in between sobs.

Sam’s P.O.V

It’s been two days, and we are no closer to finding Y/N than two days ago. The library is destroyed, our room has things thrown everywhere, and I can't remember the last time I ate. I’m sitting at the table, trying to figure out where these men could have taken Y/N. The security tapes Dean returned to get from the market don’t show their faces, so it’s hard to look up anyone who would look alike. I slam my laptop shut and put my head in my hands. For all I know, she could be dead. Dean comes walking in.

“We need to get you out of here for a little while; maybe a break will give you the fresh eyes you need, and you need to eat.”

“I can’t eat right now, Dean,” I mumble, heading to the kitchen for another beer.

“Y/N would want you to,” Dean replies.

“Y/N not here right now, Dean! Because I can’t find her! I have no idea where she is, if she is okay, or if she is already gone!” I snap at him. Dean doesn’t get angry or upset. He looks at me with understanding.

“You are running on nothing; you need to put something in your system other than alcohol if you want to be able to rescue her when we find her,” Dean says. I sigh.

“Okay.” I follow him out to the Impala to the diner, which the three of us frequently visit.

When we get there, we slide into our usual booth. Dean and I start looking at the menu, and I already know what we are going to get when I casually look up.

“Dude,” I whisper to Dean. Dean looks up at me.

“Hm?”

“Those hats look familiar?” Dean turns around while I look back at my menu. Four guys are sitting at a table. Three of them have the same hats we saw on the security camera, and the fourth guy has a different hat. Dean turns back around.

“I knew food was a good idea.” I roll my eyes.

“Dude, shut up.” The guys are too far away to hear anything they say, but we can eat and watch them. When they get up from their table, I lightly kick Dean under the table. He stuffs what he can of his burger in his mouth and then drops a fifty on the table. We get up and stroll out to the parking lot. We hear them talking to one another.

“Just follow us. It's ten minutes from here. You can't miss the house; it has Papi’s old red tractor out front, " one of the guys says. Dean and I get into the Impala and wait for the group to leave before following them from a distance.

We are coming, baby girl; hold on.

Your P.O.V

You don’t know how long they were gone. You tried everything to get out of these chains, but nothing worked. You needed the key, but it’s across the room hanging up. They put it there to mock you—disgusting pigs. You cried out in frustration and from being exhausted. You don’t know the last time you ate or drank something, and the pain is starting to catch up to you as well. You hear doors start opening upstairs and wish you could pass out. Tears make their way down your face again as you begin to realize this might be it for you; out of everything you have fought, it’s damn humans that get you. You then start to hear commotion upstairs and yelling. You listen to feet pounding around the house but can't make anything out. Your vision begins to blur, and you lean your head back against the pole you’re chained up against. Then you start hallucinating.

" Y/N?! " You hear Sam yell. You let tears out, knowing that it can’t be real; your mind is just being cruel. You hear feet pounding down the stairs, and you cry more, not caring anymore who hears you. You are sobbing.

“Please, no more, don’t hurt me anymore.” You cry out. You feel the gentlest hand cup your face.

“Oh, baby, what did they do to you?” A voice says softly. You recognize that voice. You open your eyes as best as possible and see Sam leaning over you.

“Sammy?” You whimper out.

“I’m here, beautiful, I’m here.”  You relax and let out another tear.

“Thank God.” You whisper out. You hear Dean, and a few seconds later, the chain lets loose of your wrists. You feel Sam pick you up, and you cry in pain as he moves your body in a way your ribs don’t like.

“I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry,” Sam says repeatedly. You were going to reply to him, but then darkness just overwhelmed you.

When you woke up, your head was pounding, you were sore all over, and you felt like you couldn’t move. You opened your eyes to see that you were in your old room before you started sleeping with Sam full-time. Your wrists were bandaged, along with your midsection, and places on your leg were bandaged up. Your left hand was occupied by the younger Winchester’s hand, leaning over your head, resting on your bed, fast asleep. You tried shifting a little bit but let out a little whimper of pain when you did. This woke Sam up with a start.

“Y/N, you’re awake!” He says, eyes lighting up.

“Water.” You croak out to him, throat dry as can be. He quickly grabs the water bottle from the nightstand and helps you drink some. You end up drinking half the bottle. He takes it from your lips, and you sigh, leaning your head back on the pillow. You look at Sam, and you smile.

“You saved me.” He looks at you sadly

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner.” You rub your thumb across the back of his hand.

“I’m just glad you found me.” He leans over and kisses your forehead.

“I’ll always find you beautiful.” He leans lower and kisses your lips. You lean as best into the kiss, enjoying the chance to kiss him again. He puts his hand up to your hair and strokes it as he tries to be gentle, not wanting to injure you further. He pulls away and looks at you with so much love.

“I love you so much, Y/N. You are never leaving my sight again.” He says.

Here is the final part of the Ruby series! Thank you to everyone who has supported this series <3 I had a lot of fun writing it! You guys are amazing :)

Imagine Sam having to choose between you and Ruby (Final Part)

Sam improved significantly over the next two weeks. You would bring down food, you two would talk, and occasionally, he would complement you. He would say you looked beautiful that day or that you looked pretty. Your heart would flutter, but your mind would think it was a trick.

One morning, Dean was sipping his coffee when you came downstairs. It was unusual for the older brother to be up before you. He didn’t say anything when you walked in, so you made yourself a cup and sat across from him.

“I wanted to give you a heads up; I plan on letting Sammy out today.” You look up at Dean, who is already watching you. You slowly nod, thinking of things you have been pushing off for the last two weeks. Whether you will stay or go. “Whatever you decide,” Dean says, already knowing what you are thinking about, “You need to tell him.” You nod your head again, and Dean stands up; he walks past you and puts his hand on your shoulder.

“I know what kind of monster my brother was, but I know whatever he was- he isn’t anymore. I know that addiction messed him up in a lot of ways, but I know he still loves you.” Dean walked away, and a tear slipped past your eye and down your cheek.

You walked down the stairs. Sam was already standing by the door when you reached the last step. Bobby’s old house didn’t exactly make it easy to be quiet. He saw you and smiled as you walked towards the door.

“We are letting you out today,” you started. You saw his eyes light up, and a more extensive smile appeared.

“What? That’s great, I’m ready to,” You interrupted him.

“I’m leaving today.” You said as firmly as you could muster up. Sam stopped talking and gave you his famous broken puppy dog look.

“Why? I thought we were doing better; I thought I was making things right.” You sigh.

“Sammy, I just need more time, okay? What you did and what you put me through hurt and angered me, and I’m not ready to forget all that. I understand now that the blood (you still cringed every time you said it) made you think differently and made you do things you wouldn’t normally do, but it still hurt; I still have dreams about you with her. I still have this fear that I’m going to walk down here one day, and you are going to start yelling at me again about her. I need time.” You watch Sam, waiting for him to say something, but he nods in understanding. You give him a small smile, turn around, and start walking back up the stairs. He watches you, not blinking, because he doesn’t want to miss a moment of you still being around, even if you are walking away.

“I love you.” He says to himself, knowing that’s what he wanted to tell you but didn’t get the chance to.

Three years have gone by. You would see the brothers from time to time on cases. You would smile at them and talk about what you know, and then either they would take the case or you would. You never worked on it together. Before you left, you hugged each brother. You would tell Sammy it was good to see him, and he would say the same, but that was it.

That night, you would go to a bar and find someone to be with.

With the brothers back on the road, much more chatter was picked up at the roadhouse. You ignored it for the most part, but if a hunter asked you about Sam and why he wasn’t here with you, you would handle things a little too physically. It's not the best way to handle conflict, but these hunters are too nosey for their own good. Whatever unlucky hunter met your fist that night, you heard mutters afterward from others.

“Still a cold bitch.” Ellen would grab you another shot of whiskey on the house.

You felt better coming around the three-year mark. In between your cases, you casually would find someone and see them for a few weeks, but it never felt the same as it did with the boy you fell in love with so many years ago, so you would end it. You would do the one-night stands, and it was a nice quick fix, but it was never really your scene. You did a lot of self-care that a hunter could do. You did baths, wrote in journals, and even took up stretching in the morning. Every morning, you would giggle about how stupid you probably looked, just like Sam looked when he did it, but you must admit you felt better after stretching out all your muscles. It reached a point where you only wanted to see the man you fell in love with. To at least reconnect. You didn’t know if he found someone else then; you told yourself that you would be happy for him if he did. He never said he would wait for you; you honestly didn’t expect him to.  You called him.

He picked up on the second ring.

“Y/N?” He asked, not believing the caller ID.

“Hey, Sammy.” You said softly, a little more nervous than you were 10 seconds ago.

“Hey.” He said back; you could hear the little smile through his voice.

“Where are you guys at right now?” You chewed your bottom lip.

“Uh, some little town right outside of Bermingham, Alabama.” He responded. That was a day trip for you.

“I want to see you,” you said. He was quiet on the other end of the phone. You were about to apologize and hang up when he responded.

“I’ll send you the address.” You said okay and started packing. Two minutes later, an address came through on your phone. You put your stuff in your car and started your trip to see Sam.

You got there the next day after taking cat naps throughout the trip, gas, food, and all the essentials. It was right around lunchtime. To your surprise, the address was a restaurant, not a motel like you had expected. You pulled into a spot and turned the car off, seeing Sam sitting by the door with your favorite flowers. He still remembered. The restaurant was nothing fancy; it reminded you of O’Charley’s or Chili’s, where they serve everything. It isn’t too fancy, but it is not fast food either. You got out and started walking towards him. When he noticed you, he stood up and met you. He held the flowers out.

“If I remember correctly, you mentioned these being your favorite back in Illinois when we had to visit that Foral shop.” You took them and smiled down at them.

“Yeah, they are. That was five years ago, Sammy.” You look up at him, giving him a small smile. He stares at you and then clears his throat.

“I knew you would take a while to get here based on your road trip habits, so I figured you would be hungry for lunch when you arrived.” Damn, he was good. You nodded, and he led you into the restaurant, holding the door open for you.

The hostess sat you and you two silently, looking at the menu. After you two ordered your drink and Sam ordered you an appetizer, you noticed he was looking at you from above his menu.

“What?” You asked. He smiled and said softly.

“I’m just happy you’re here.”

“Don’t get all cheesy and cliché on me, Winchester.” You joke at him. When you decide what to eat for lunch, set the menu down and wait for Sam to finish selecting. Your drinks come, you order your entrees, and now you two are just looking at each other. Sam starts,

“So, what have you been up to since that last nest six months ago?” You tell him about your other hunts, trips to the roadhouse, trips to see Bobby, and your new hobby of journaling and stretching.

“Stretching?” Sam laughed. “I thought that was stupid.”

“It is stupid! I feel like an idiot when I do it, but it feels so nice afterward!” You giggle, defending the arguments you used to have with him. Throughout the date, because that is Sam’s intention with this lunch, you start to feel relaxed. Your nerves about seeing him go away, the anxiety of how you would react being around him is gone, and it is just happiness. You felt like you did all those years ago before Ruby came in and set your world upside down. You and Sam’s conversations are light and happy, with giggles and teasing, just like they used to be, but you must be honest.

“Sammy, I need to tell you something.” You say, becoming serious, unlike the conversation you were having with him. His face becomes serious, and worry etches onto every aspect of it. He doesn’t respond, so you just come out with it.

“These past few years, I tried dating other people. I tried to get over you and build a life with someone else. I had one-night stands on the days I would see you to try to stop thinking about you. I dated a guy for six weeks, trying to see if I could be with anyone else and erase you from my life. I couldn’t. I would always end up breaking up with the guy or leaving before the sun was up the next morning from a fling. That’s why I started journaling, stretching, and trying all these self-help things. I knew I needed to heal for myself, and I couldn’t find it in a guy. I just thought you should know.” You spoke. Sam nodded, and you could tell he was thinking about what he wanted to say next.

“I understand Y/N. I know I hurt you, and I put you through things that I would have never thought I would. You deserved to go out, find yourself, explore, and see if anyone else was out there for you. I was a jerk, a piece of shit, and the worst boyfriend anyone could have asked for during that time.” He looks down and then back up at you.

“I never knew if you would come back to me; hell, I still don’t know if you are. This could be a permanent goodbye date for all I know, but I want you to know that I waited for you and will continue to wait for you. I still haven’t forgiven myself for what I put you through, and that is something I will live with for the rest of my life, but these past three years, I have missed you every single day, and I was also so happy when we ran into each other, and I got to see you, even if it was just for ten minutes. I knew you were still alive, and there could be another chance I would see you again.” Your eyes were tearing up, dammit, Sammy. He continued his speech, and you can tell he rehearsed repeatedly.

“There is no one else for me. I don’t want anyone else but you. If you want to be done with me, I respect it, and I don’t blame you, but I want you to know what I wanted you to know three years ago when you left Bobby’s: I love you. I will always love you and never stop proving it to you if you give me another chance.” When he finished his monologue, you two looked at each other, not knowing what to do next. You had many thoughts running through your head, and he was too scared to ask what you thought. The waitress came by, dropping off the check, pulling you two out of your trance. He threw cash on the table, enough for lunch plus tip, and stood up. He offered his hand to help you out of your seat, which you accepted, but he didn’t let go after you stood up. You didn’t pull away, either.

He walked you to your car, the overcast hiding the sun with a little breeze setting in. You turned to look at him with your back against the driver's door.

“Thank you for lunch.” You said softly. Sam looks over your face. His eyes flicker to your lips and then your eyes. You hear him take a breath, and then he leans down and kisses you. His hands grip on your waist as he pushes into you, making you lean against the car door. You kiss back, your hands on his chest, and then slide up to his hair, which you intertwine into your fingers. He deepens the kiss as both of you fight for dominance, Sam winning. When you can no longer breathe, you pull apart from him, resting your forehead against his, breathing heavily. Sam looks into your eyes, hands still gripping your waist. His shoulders move a little as he breathes heavily. After a few moments, he whispers, eye contact never leaving yours,

“Was that a goodbye kiss or an I love you kiss?” You give him a small smile,

“I love you.” He has the biggest smile you have ever seen on him in years, and his eyes light up with joy before he leans in for another kiss, which you gladly return.

The werewolf was a lot harder to deal with than you thought. While solo hunting wasn’t the best thing a hunter could do, you’ve managed to get by with minimal damage until now. The werewolf was dead but left a nasty gash on your side. Silent tears fell as the pain pulsated from your side. With shaky hands, you reached for your phone in your back pocket, praying it still worked. You whimper as you adjust to get the phone from your pocket. Pulling it out, you see the screen flash with a picture of you and another hunter. More tears fall as you dial what could be your last call.

You just needed to hear his voice.

“Hey, sweetheart.” The gruff voice came from the other side of the phone. By the sound of it, you woke him up.

“Dean.” You manage to whimper out, your voice a little shaky. Whatever sleep Dean still had is now gone.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” Fully alert, you can hear him gathering clothes to put on and Sam asking what was wrong in the background.

“You remember that hunt I told you I was going on?” The blood from your side is pooling around you; you stay looking at the sky for a sense of ignorance that you might come out of this alive.

“Yeah, the werewolf, the one I told you not to go on alone. What happened?” Dean replied quickly while also yelling at Sam to hurry up for something.

“I got ‘em, baby.” You said, tears streaming down your face. “He got me too though.” You finally let out a sob. You continue.

“I’m sure you know where I am, you always do. If you don’t make it here to save me, I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Don’t you dare say that, Y/N; I will be there in time, and your ass is never going hunting alone again.” You smile through the tears.

“You’ve always been my knight in leather armor.” You sigh.

“Dean, I'm getting tired.” You admit wanting hard to fight, but the feeling quickly overwhelms you.

“Do not fucking fall asleep, you hear me? Stay talking to me, baby, about anything.” You hear the worry in his voice and the roar of the Impala going faster.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” You ask softly.

“Of course, I remember, sweetheart; if I had known Bobby was having other hunters come around, especially you, I would have visited him more often.” You smile and remember how your parents knew Bobby; you kept in touch with him after they died. You needed help on a case and went to him after you tried researching everything. To Bobby's surprise, the brothers happened to be showing up that day, and you and the older Winchester had a flirty fling for a while until he finally found the courage and made you two officially a couple.

“You were something else, Dean Winchester.”

“Are, baby. You're not going anywhere to need to use past tense.” You hear the Impala stop. Dean speaks again. “Okay, baby. We are parked right by your car. Where are you?” Your head was fogging, and you felt numb. It was hard to concentrate.

“Sweetheart, I need you to tell me,” Dean says frantically.

“Go straight in the direction my car is pointing, and you’ll start to see tree limbs falling as he was running around. I’m somewhere around there.” You whisper, barely able to keep your eyes open. You see lights going back and forth, like flashlights. “I think I see you, Dean; go straight.” You saw the lights stay constantly straight towards you,

And then, blackness.

The beeping sound was annoying. You tried to drift back off, but it was too constant. You groaned and fluttered your eyes open. You were in a hospital room. You didn’t feel any pain, meaning the medicine they gave you must work great. You see Sam sleeping on a chair in the corner of the room and Dean right beside you, head on your bed but holding your hand, hunched over from his chair. You smile softly at the boys—your heroes. You squeeze Dean’s hand enough for him to wake up, shooting straight up in the bed to look at you.

He took in your face, your eyes, the color back in your cheeks, and how he initially found you two days ago—lifeless, limp, and bleeding. Yelling at Sam to speed faster to the hospital, screaming at the doctors to save his girlfriend, yelling at the nurses when they wouldn’t give him an update, and while not yelling, sternly talking to your sleeping figure about how going on that hunting solo was dumb. He should have followed you even though you told him no. You will never go on a solo hunt again, and he doesn’t care how mad it makes you, how he cannot lose you because you are now the only constant thing in his messed-up world other than Sam.

“Hey, baby.” That is all you manage to get out. Voice hoarse from no liquid. Dean reaches to the side table and hands you a cup of water. You take it and sip from it, appreciating the fluid running down your throat. He watches you, so glad you’re awake, moving, just alive. You give him back the cup. He places it down and then stands up to lean to you over the bed. He kisses your forehead, then your cheeks, and finally your lips. It was the softest kiss you have felt in a while from the older brother. It felt like those kisses that you might break if he pressed any harder. He leans away and sits back down in his chair. He looks at you, relieved, but you can still see the worry in his eyes.

“You are never going to hunt alone again.” He speaks. You smile at your boyfriend, squeezing his hand once more.

You have been with Dean for just a little over a year. You met when they saved you from a werewolf, and ever since you learned about the things in the dark, you wanted to make sure you could protect someone else as they did for you. Dean and Sam left after that night, but you started to learn about the supernatural, train to fight and self-defense, and eventually began to go on hunts. You ran into the brothers about two months after that night on a hunt for a vengeful spirit. The boys recognized you from your most traumatic night. After the hunt, you went out to a bar with the boys and hit it off well with the older Winchester. You ended up leaving with them and have been hunting with them ever since. Dean and you became official after a few months of being on the road with them, and you couldn’t be happier. You learn Dean had a past with the ladies, and while in the beginning, it made you feel insecure, Dean showed you that he loved you through everything he did, even if he never said it, and those insecurities washed away until this case, at least.

You three were investigating mysterious deaths in South Carolina. The way of death is all over the place, from drowning to heart missing to throat slit. It didn’t make sense, but four occurred in the same area over three weeks. You were at the last victim's house talking to the victim's daughter, who was around your age and Sam’s. Sam was walking around the house, looking for anything that stood out. Dean was talking to the daughter, and you were going through the victim’s computer with the daughter's permission.

“I know this must be very hard for you.” You hear Dean say, and in the corner of your eye, you see him grab the daughter’s arm. You are tense as you don’t want to make it obvious you are watching, but why does he need to touch her to question her? Those insecurities that Dean worked so hard to get rid of started to creep back up. The daughter latches onto the empathy and starts crying, attaching herself to Dean and hugging him while she cries in his chest. He hugged her and began rubbing his hand up and down your back. Something he did to you when you needed reassurance from him. You saw in the corner of his eye that he looked over at you, but you quickly moved your eyes to focus back on the computer in front of you, even though you weren’t comprehending anything on the screen.

The daughter released herself from Dean, letting out an apology. Dean smiled at her and replied

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.” Your jaw clenched. The daughter then opened up with more information and said that was all she knew. Dean nodded his head and handed his card to her.

“If you need anything, I mean it; call me.” She nodded and took the card, and Sam walked back into the room. You shut the computer and stood up quickly—maybe a little too quickly, as the brothers looked at you curiously. You gave your condolences to the daughter one more time and curtly exited the house. The brothers looked at each other and excused themselves.

In the Impala, it was quiet until Sam spoke up.

“Did you find anything on the computer?” You didn’t, but it wasn’t because you didn’t know anything for sure; it was because you couldn’t focus on digging.

“No, I needed more time,” Dean spoke up.

“I could have stalled her more if you needed.” You roll your eyes from the back, not realizing Dean was watching you.

“I’m sure you could of.” Sam swallowed, already knowing what this was about and where this conversation was going. Dean’s jaw clenched.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what that means.” You snapped back at Dean with an attitude, not looking at him but out the window.

“How about you elaborate for me?” Dean barked at you. You rolled your eyes once again.

“I swear to God, you roll your eyes one more time-“

“What, Dean, you’ll what? See that girl again? Rub on her again and call her all these cute little pet names? Go ahead.”

“That’s what this is about? Are you serious?” Anger fills you more as he is about to invalidate how you feel.

“Tell me you were just doing it to get information from her Dean. Look me in my eyes and tell me that.” You snapped, looking at him from the back seat.

“Uh, don’t do that right now; I don’t want to get into an accident,” Sam says quickly, knowing that Dean would do something like that to prove a point while driving. The Impala pulls up to the motel you three are staying at, and you fly out of the car, trying to escape Dean as quickly as possible.

“Oh no, sweetheart, we aren’t done. Get back here!” Dean yells after you. You ignore him and use your key to get into the room. You can’t even shut the door before Dean comes through it.

“She hugged me, crying. What did you want me to do- be an asshole and push her off me? That would have got us the information.” He snapped at you as you turned and looked at him.

“You didn’t have to rub her back, call her sweetheart, or tell her if she needed anything to call you!” You started to raise your voice at him.

“You are taking it out of context! I was trying to comfort her so she would tell us what we needed to know! She was hiding something!”  His voice raised.

“That’s not the only reason!”  You got louder.

“You think?!” He got louder.

“I know, Dean!” You got louder.

“You’re wrong!” He got louder.

“Oh yeah, prove it!” You got louder.

“Because I love you, dammit! I wouldn’t do that to the person I love most!” He yelled as loud as he could.

You went silent.

You stared at him. His chest heaved up and down, and he was breathing hard, trying to keep his cool as best as he could. He looked at you in the eyes.

“Because I love you.” Is all he said again, quieter. You walked over to him and hugged him. He was hiding your face in the crook of his neck. He has never told you that he loved you out loud. It was always shown through his actions. Your heart hammered as your brain replayed what he said over and over. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close, his face against your head. You pulled from his neck and looked at him, still hugging him.

“I love you too.” He smiled a small smile at you.

“You mean everything to me. When you came into my life full-time, I couldn’t look at anyone else the same; you are the only person I want. You turned my whole lifestyle upside down, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I only have eyes for you. Don’t ever forget that.” You nod, not able to form words. He leans and kisses you on the lips. You bring your hands up to his hair and tug a little, earning a groan from him. He deepens the kiss as his hands slide down to your butt. The motel door opens just as he grabs your shirt to lift it over your head.

“Hey, did you guys—OH, okay, never mind, guess you did,” Sam says, red in the face. You two break apart, your face turning red as Sam has never walked in on you two before. Dean looks at Sam.

You were on a supply run with Dean. You two aren’t getting anything too crazy, just food, medical supplies, and, of course, the usual alcohol. The store you were in had a little area dedicated to seasonal decorations. You noticed it as you and Dean were passing it to get to the medical supplies that were two aisles over. It was August which meant fall and Halloween items were starting to come out for the season. The boys never decorate or do anything fun during the holiday season, but at least this year, you wanted to try to do something small in the bunker.

“Oh, babe can I look at the fall decorations really quick?” You look at him giving him the best pout face you can manage. He looks at you, rolls his eyes, and then kisses your forehead.

“Okay, fine, but nothing too big, I’ll grab the wraps and bandages we need.” You smile from ear to ear as he goes down the medical aisle and you start to browse the decorations. You look at all the cute ceramic decorations, leave theme, pumpkin theme, and some of the Halloween decorations they already have out.

While looking at a tabletop display, a man stands close to you from behind you. You try to move to the side, but he follows your step. When you were about to turn around to confront him, you felt the tip of a knife poking your back. He starts to speak low.

“You are going to follow me nice and easy out now.” You stay calm and collected.

“My boyfriend is two aisles over. It will turn into a really bad day for you if you don’t leave me alone.”

“Nice try; move your ass unless you want me to cut on that pretty face of yours after I force you out of here.”

“What the hell did you just say to my girlfriend?” You hear Dean say. Both you and the man turn around to look at Dean. He looks dangerous. The hard eyes he gets when hunting are the same eyes he gives this man. The man with a knife to you was not tiny, but he wasn’t a vast guy either- he was just average, but Dean could easily take him, especially with what he does for a living, and must fight almost every day. The guy is speechless, obviously not believing when you said you had a boyfriend here.

“Uh, nothing, we were just talking.” The guy stumbles out.

“What I heard is that you were threatening to cut up my girl’s pretty face. Is that what I heard?” The guy, intimidated by Dean, doesn’t reply to him; he stares wide, not knowing what to do in this situation.

“Sweetheart, come here,” Dean says, eyes not leaving the guy that threatened you. You walk to him, but the guy is not attempting to stop you. Dean holds out the bandages to you.

“Go take these and check out. We will go somewhere else for the food. Here are the keys; wait for me there.” You don’t say anything; just nod your head. You start walking away when you hear Dean's punch. You turn your head back but keep walking.

You see the guy on the ground, nose bleeding. Dean has two fists full of his shirt holding him up, and you see Dean dangerously close to the man, no doubt telling him threats that Dean knows he will act on. You turn back to finish heading to the checkout, letting out a little smile.

It was 3:46 in the morning, and you were exhausted. You have been decorating the bunker all night, wrapping gifts, and baking a homemade apple pie for Dean’s birthday. Dean never wanted to celebrate his birthday. He always downplayed it and made a joke that it was just one more year closer to death. Not this year though. Your boyfriend was going to get the celebration he deserves whether he likes it or not.

You knew a little about baking, but you were not an expert. You didn’t know the first thing about making homemade dough or pie filling, and at 2 o’clock in the afternoon, it seemed like a great idea. Now, over 13 hours later, you realize you hate yourself.

Dishes were everywhere in the kitchen; ingredients spread about, and flour covered you as you accidentally spilled some, okay a lot, on you at your first attempt to make the dough. You will never underestimate the bakers that make these for a living ever again. You were kneading the dough when it started to smell like something was burning; you looked behind you at the stove and realized your filling was boiling over.

“Shit, shit, shit,” You cuss quietly as you rush over to take the pot off the stove. The flour and egg mixture on your hands did not help you hold the handle when it slipped from your grip and fell to the floor. The pot makes a loud noise as it hits the floor, and your filling goes everywhere. You were ready to cry and scream right then.

You walked away and took a deep breath, trying to regulate your emotions. You were just tired, and you were doing this for one of the most important men in your life. It was a good thing you bought extra of everything. When you heard him, you went to grab something to clean up the filling with.

“Uh, sweetheart? What’s going on?” You whipped around to see your half-awake boyfriend standing in the doorway. His shirt was gone, and his sweats hung dangerously low. You took in the most beautiful sight before you. You stared at him, completely forgetting he had asked you a question.

“Oh, um, I am baking?” You said it more like a question than a statement. Dean looked around and let out a little laugh.

“I didn’t know baking involved food being on the floor- wait, is that pie filling? Are you baking a pie?” You sighed.

“Yes, I am making a pie, and it's not that you need to be concerned about it. Go back to bed.” You try to usher him out so you can continue without giving too much away, but Dean Winchester was an intelligent man and quickly put it together.

“Baby are you making a pie for my birthday?” he said, walking over to you. He was going to put his hands on your waist, but then he saw the flour all over you and decided against it.

“Ugh, yes, but you weren’t supposed to see it until tomorrow. Surprise!” You pout. Dean looks at you and thinks you are the most adorable person in the world, staying up late to do something nice for him. You looked cute and covered in flour, trying to do something you never did for him. It made him feel loved and made him appreciate you even more.  Not caring about the flour any more, he grabs you by your waist and pulls you in for a kiss. Much to your displeasure, he ends the kiss too soon and looks at your darling face. He kisses the top of your forehead.

“Don’t stress over the pie too much, sweetheart. Come to bed soon; you need rest.” You nod your head, and he starts to leave the kitchen. You turn around to resume getting something to clean up the pie filling when he speaks again.

“Hey, baby?” You turn around and see him already with a cheeky smile.

“That’s not the only filling you can clean up.” You gasp and turn red in the face.

Thank you! I am so glad you like it! Here is the next part <3 Happy reading!

Also, there is violence and mentions of sexual themes so reader discretion is advised :)

Imagine Sam having to choose between you and Ruby (Part 3)

“I’m going to fucking kill you.”

Sam quickly gets up and blocks your view of Ruby from you.

“Y/N, please let me explain.” He is holding his hands up, the blood now dripping from his mouth. You glare at him, reaching behind for Dean to give you the demon knife. Dean knows what you are asking for and gives it to you in a knife case that you can clip to the back of your lounge pants.

“Sam, clean your fucking mouth off, that’s disgusting, and you don’t have to explain shit to me.” Sam instinctively wipes his mouth, hurt at your comment, when Ruby walks around him, draping her hand on his shoulder, now wearing his t-shirt. Just his T-shirt.

“Oh, don’t be mad at Sammy, little Y/N; you left him; I was just there to pick up his shattered heart, finder keepers, don’t you think?” She teased at you.

“Oh, you mother fucker.” You growled and pounced. You reached out and tumbled her down to the ground, going to punch her in the face. You feel hands try to take you off of her and Sam yelling your name.

“Let the bitch get what she deserves, Sammy,” Dean says, and you feel the hands come off you. You guess Dean will keep Sam distracted. You grab Ruby’s hair roots and take hold of her head to slam her head into the ground. She manages to get her knee in between you two, then her foot, and kicks her leg out to get you from on top of her. She climbs on top of you and wraps her hands around your throat, trying to choke you. She smiles down at you and giggles.

“I understand why you didn’t want any women around him, Y/N. That man is a monster in the bedroom. I didn’t know a man could do so many things with his mouth, and when he was venting out his anger was going rough- it makes a girl so hot, you know?” She sent you a little wink and applied pressure to your neck. You growl and reach around the floor. You feel a stiletto, assuming Ruby’s, and grab the base of it. You swing your arm up, hitting her in the temple with the heel tip. She cries out and backs off of you. You scramble on your feet and kick her in the stomach just because you want to. How dare she try to boast about Sam in such an intimate way when she should have never had her demon hands on him. You look for a belt or rope or something to bind her up, but she catches your ankle and pulls you, dropping you back to the floor. You groan and look up, seeing Dean is still fighting with Sam, keeping him busy for you. You need to finish this up quickly. You roll over, still feeling the knife under your shirt and tucked in the back of your pants. Ruby tries to start choking you again.

“He was telling you the truth; I haven’t seen him in weeks. I made him addicted to my blood so he would get stronger and then left; I wanted to hear him beg for me, that he needed me. I was going to wait a bit longer, but then I got wind that you were back in the picture, and I had to make sure he was still choosing me, which you saw in the PG-13 version of what we do when we are together. He is strong because of me, and he will kill Lillith. We are going to do it together.” Your vision was getting spotty as she was applying more pressure. You were trying to grab her hands off you. “You won’t be around to see it though, Y/N, so sorry- I can’t have you spoiling my plans.” When you know there is no way she is letting up, you squeeze your hand behind your back and grab the hilt of the knife. You make eye contact and smirk. Her face falters along with her grip.

“You’re not going to do shit with him, demon.” You swing your arm up to stab the knife in her chest. She screams as the knife kills her. You hear Sam scream her name. She falls backward as you push with all your might into her. You follow her fall, not taking your hand off the knife until you see her eyes staring blankly back at you. You spit on her.

“See you in hell bitch.” You say. You turn around and see Dean holding Sam back. He looked at you, and anger clouded his eyes.

“Why the hell would you do that?!” He yelled at you.

“Watch who the hell you’re talking to like that Winchester.” You piped back. Sam turns and punches Dean, who falters. Clouded by anger and the high of the demon blood, Sam starts hammering on Dean.

“Y/N,” Dean groans out. “a little help?” He tries to fight off Sam, but he is relentless. Sam and Dean fall to the ground as you look around. You see the kitchenette and open the cupboards. Grabbing the giant frying pan, you turn and see Sam on top of Dean, punching him. You get behind Sam and swing the frying pan on his head, making a loud boing! Sound before he slumps over unconscious on top of Dean. He groans from pain and the weight of Sam on top of him. You help him roll Sam off, and he looks at your hand.

“What is this, Tangled?” He grumbles, referencing a Disney movie you made him and Sam watch with you a few years ago. Dean grabs his head and wipes the blood from his nose.

“Shut the fuck up.” You say, not being able to hide a small smile. “Hurry up and clean yourself up. We have to take him to Bobby’s.”

“What’s at Bobby’s?” He asks as he holds a hand for you to help him.

“The panic room, we should be only an hour out if you speed.” He nods and looks down at Sam.

“Hopefully, you Rapunzeled him hard enough for the drive.” You look at him and roll your eyes.

“You can be so annoying, you know that?”

You guys cleaned up the mess you made, threw Ruby in the trunk, and started to drive. You weren’t a complete asshole; you called a hunter you met from the roadhouse to finish up the hunt for you; you know you will have to repay that debt someday.

“What are you going to do with Ruby?” Dean asks as you start the trip to Bobby’s. You smile innocently.

“I’m going to burn her to a crisp.” Dean looks at you like you are crazy, then mutters

“Remind me never to get on your bad side.”

Sam was out for three hours. When he woke up, he had a splitting headache and bruising from the punches Dean was able to land on him. He saw that he was not in the hotel but in Bobby’s famous panic room. He looked around and saw you were sitting in the chair across from him, legs crossed, reading a journal of some sort.

“You’re awake.” You say it without even looking up the page.

“What am I doing here?” You sigh and close the journal, setting it down on the little table.

“You’re sick. Ruby fucked you in more ways than one and now has gotten you addicted to demon blood. You are here to get better.” You stand and start walking to the door.

“You can’t keep me in here,” Sam said irritably. You whipped around and stomped up to him. You grabbed the collar of his shirt and got really close. Your eyes bored into his.

“If I had done what I originally wanted, you would be on the side of the road with only the clothes on your back to your name. However, your brother is like my own and wouldn’t want that. He would want your sorry ass to get better. So, you are going to sit here, go through this fucking detox, and maybe, just maybe, show your brother some damn gratitude for putting up with you and that whore for as long as he did. You’re sick, Sam. She has clouded your judgment and turned you into something you were always scared of becoming. The Sam I knew and loved would have NEVER let things get as far as they have. I burned your little girlfriend. She is still smoking in the back. Whether you like it or not, this chapter has been closed for you.” You shoved him back and walked over to the door again.

“Why do you even care? You hate me now.” Sam scoffed, but you could sense the heartbreak in his voice. You looked back at him.

“I do hate you, I can’t stand the sight of you, but I’m hoping the Sam I fell in love with- the Sam I am still in love with, the Sam that wanted to spend forever with me, is still in there somewhere, because I know for a fact you are not him, so I will keep you in here for as long as I need to in order to find out. Dean will be in with your dinner.”  You banged on the door, and it opened. Dean was standing there to let you out. You exited the panic room without glancing back at Sam, and Dean locked the door. You two made it up the stairs. At the top, he stopped you. You turned and looked at him.

“That was a little harsh, don’t you think?” He said.

“That wasn’t even a fraction of the hurt I had to experience because of him. You wanted him to break- he is going to fucking break.” You turned and started out the door. You turned back to him, and he was still staring at you. “Are you going to help me bury this demon?” Dean nodded and followed you to bury this last chapter of your lives officially and literally.

Week one of Sam's detoxing was a bunch of yelling. He would yell for hours, cussing out you, Dean, Bobby, and everyone. You would go down there, and he would be in the small window. He would be seething, ready to argue. So, you two would argue. Whatever Sam wanted to yell about; you would fight back. If he wanted to fight about Ruby dying, you would yell back about how you loved to kill her, how you were so glad you were the one that got to stick the blade in her. You would tell him how you wished you could have killed her and how it was so satisfying to watch her burn.

If he wanted to yell about how you left, you would fire back about how he made that choice. He chose a demon, and her disgusting,because he hated when you used that word, blood over someone he spent years with. He decided to fuck someone who never loved him over a woman that risked her life for him constantly. How, when he had the chance to follow you, he chose to have pity sex instead.

The arguments would always end with him having nothing else to say and stepping away from the window, usually followed by him kicking or throwing something—Bobby has had to replace the chair in there two times and the table three times.

Most days and nights, you only yelled at each other for 20 minutes max. There were only two nights where you yelled at each other for hours. Those two nights, you would sit in your room and drink, cry, and pray to anyone and anything for your Sam to return.

Week Two was a lot of desperation and a lot of bargaining. He would try to convince Dean to let him out when Dean brought him his meals. One day, Dean went to open the door in a moment of weakness for his brother; you just happened to be coming down at the time with the drink that Dean forgot and saw what was happening. You rushed to keep the door closed and locked, which caused Sam to start yelling and cussing you out for getting in the way. Dean was taken off food duty after that.

When Sam realized Dean wasn’t coming back downstairs, he tried to bargain with you. He would promise anything and everything. He vowed to escape the hunting life with you, marry you, and throw his phone away. Cut ties with everyone. Anything to try to get you to fold, he would try. He would bring out the puppy dog eyes you loved so much. It was a mask, though- it wasn’t the Sam you knew. So, you would scoff at him. Call him weak, and that a child could act better than he could, drop his food off, and go upstairs without another word. Grabbing another one of Bobby’s whiskeys off the shelf, you would head to your room. Between you and Dean, his alcohol bill was rising exponentially.

Midway through week two and into week three, there was silence. You would bring the food down, neither one of you exchanged words, and you would go back up. One afternoon, you were bringing down food, and you peeped through the window and saw Sam on the bed, sweating and shaking a little. His eyes were closed.

“Sam?” You called out to him. He didn’t answer.

“Sam!” You said louder again. He didn’t answer.

“Dean! Bobby!” you yelled for the two men upstairs as you opened the door to the panic room. You leaned down and grabbed Sam by the shoulders, shaking him.

“Sammy, wake up!” You said with urgency. You felt his forehead. Behind the sweat, he was burning up. You heard the clattering of boots coming down the stairs.

“What’s wrong?” Bobby said, stepping into the panic room, Dean right behind him.

“I don’t know he was like this when I brought his food down.” Bobby looked at Sam and felt his forehead the same as you did.

“The lack of demon blood must be finally getting to him. Any normal detox would have hit by now, but it’s not like we have a manual on how this addiction works.” He mutters. “I’m going to grab him some medicine, and hopefully that will calm his fever, but we will see. This isn’t exactly a black-and-white addiction case we are dealing with here. We have no idea how this could affect him.” Bobby turned and went to grab some medicine. You turned back to Sam, watching him shiver. Dean came forward and put a hand on your shoulder.

“He will be okay; I think we are making progress.” You sighed.

“I sure hope so.” Bobby came back with a fever patch that you put on his forehead, hoping that would be enough for now.

Sam woke up a few hours later. You were sitting in the chair that Bobby replaced multiple times when Sam threw his temper tantrums. The door was open, as you did not expect either Dean or Bobby to sit down with you while you waited.

When Sam woke up, he groaned and turned to his side. He half opened his eyes, and when he saw you, he rubbed them and opened them fully.

“What happened?” Sam asked.

“What do you remember?” You countered.

“I remember not feeling good, so I laid down. I remember feeling like my entire body was itchy and every part needed to be scratched. I remember being super cold and hot simultaneously, and then that’s it. I blanked after that.” He slowly sits up and sits on the side of the bed.

“You had a fever. I guess you passed out because of it because when I came down here, you were unresponsive, just shivering, and your forehead was burning up. Bobby gave you a cool patch, hoping that would help, but this isn’t exactly textbook on what to do.”

“Why are you down here then?”

“I had to make sure you woke up.” Sam looked at you, studying your face. It felt like he was trying to read what you meant by that. You stood up.

“Well, since you are awake, I will leave you to it, which means sitting here and letting the rest of the detox work itself out. If you start feeling like that again, yell for one of us.” You started to make your way out of the room. Sam called your name. You turned to look at him, and for once, you recognized him. You saw your Sammy. The sweet, caring, and amazing man that you fell in love with. Your heart jumped against your brain’s wishes, ready to run back into him and never let him go, never let him out of your sight.

“Yeah?” You replied to him.

“Thank you,” he said back. Your heart was using all its strength to pull you to him, to forgive him right then and there, but you couldn’t, not yet.

“We will see if you say that after this,” you quietly replied, walking out and locking the door behind you. 

I'm so glad you loved it! The response to this specific fic has been mind-blowing to me as someone who just started posting, and I am super humbled by it! Thank you for your support <3

Imagine Sam having to choose between you and Ruby (Part 2)

Cold. If any hunter was asked about you, that is how they would describe you. When Bobby came and picked you up that day, he let you sit the entire ride home in silence. When you two reached his house, he popped a beer for you. When you went to take it, he held it back and demanded,

“Sit.” You sighed and sat at his kitchen table, drank the beer he offered, and told him everything. He comforted you Bobby-style, meaning he told you it would be alright and the two of you would figure it out. You finished your beer, thanked him, and asked if there was any car he didn’t care to part with. While he had none running, he permitted you to fix any of them.

It took you a month to fix up a car. Everything you knew about cars you learned between Dean and Bobby. It was nothing fancy, but it would get the job done. Every morning, Bobby would make you eat breakfast, and every night, when you came in, Bobby would make you eat dinner. You would then shower, sleep, and repeat. It was like you were a zombie. When the car was completely ready, you packed your things, left Bobby a note thanking him and saying that you would call, and left.

During your month there, your phone would begin to ring non-stop. Calling, text message, voicemail. Sam was using any way you could communicate on the phone. In the beginning, you would listen to the voicemails.

“Hey, baby, it's me—again. Please pick it up and at least let me know you are safe. We can talk about this. I love you.”

“I know you’re mad- you have every right to be. I was selfish and stupid, thinking about what was best for us without consulting you. It was dumb, and I took full responsibility. Please call me. I miss you so much; I love you.”

Every voicemail sounded like that, but the contact became less frequent. Instead of all day, it was in the morning and at night. Then it turned into just at night. Then it turned into every other day until it became once or twice a week until the last week you were at Bobby’s, Sam didn’t try to contact you once. Good.

You went from town to town, trying every crossroads demon. Trying to get information, make a deal. Anything. Every demon denied you a deal, and no one would tell you anything. You were getting frustrated. In between finding demons, you would pick up solo jobs. The roadhouse became your home away from home, wherever your home was supposed to be. Some nights, you would end up like Ash, asleep on top of a pool table or bar; other nights, Ellen would give you the spare back bedroom.

Hunters would come in and try to flirt with you. You would be cordial and say no; however, every hunter was the same- stubborn, and thinking no would eventually turn yes. After the fifth hunter came through and tried to put hands on you, you grabbed his hand, twisting it like Sam taught you, and caused the wrist to snap.

That was the last time a hunter hit on you at the roadhouse.

Every so often, Sam Winchester’s name was brought up around you. Hunters loved to talk, and now you know how every hunter seemed to know you three when traveling, but you never knew them. Each time you heard Sam’s name, your heart became colder, and another shot was poured into your body.

Three more months had passed, and you were no closer to figuring out how to get Dean out of hell. A few times, you thought about calling Sam to see if he was close to saving Dean but decided against it. When your phone rang, you were in a hotel room, just finished clearing out a vamp’s nest. Bobby.

“Bobby.” You say that was your greeting now to anyone; you have no spark of joy left in you.

“I need you to come home.” That was all Bobby said. You sighed and flung your boot off, working on the other one.

“I mean, I can; it will be tomorrow, though; I just finished a hunt; is it that important?”

“It needs to be now,” Bobby said. I stood up.

“Bobby, what’s going on?”

“You’re going to want to see for yourself, get your ass over here and stop arguing with me.”

“Okay, okay, calm down. I’ll be there in a few hours.” You say before you hang up. You look down at all the blood on you and then make eye contact with yourself in the mirror.

“But first, I’m going to shower.” You mutter to yourself.

Freshly showered, you were at Bobby’s five hours later. You turn the ignition off and step out of the car. The afternoon light was setting in, and you started to get nervous. Nothing seemed out of place, so what was the big deal? You opened the door and called for Bobby.

“Bobby, it’s me; what’s so important,”  You stopped as you looked in the living room. Bobby stood there, along with- Dean. You gasped. Dean smiled.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” He spoke. He went to walk towards you.

“Don’t move a muscle.” You say, grabbing your silver knife and keeping it under your shirt and pants.

“Y/N, I already did the checks, it’s him.” Your eyes looked over at Bobby and narrowed again.

“How do I know you’re Bobby?” Dean smiled.

“You’re good here; test me.” Dean held out his arm, and you did all the testing. When he didn’t react, you looked into his eyes, and tears started to form.

“You’re back.” You whispered.

“I’m back,” he said. You wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tightly. After a few minutes, he broke the hug and rubbed your arms.

“Bobby told me about Sam.” Hearing his name iced your heart over once more. You looked away from Dean.

“He made his choice; I made mine. I haven’t talked to him since I left.” Dean nodded his head.

“I was going to try to find him if you wanted to come.”

“Thanks, Dean, but I’ll pass.”  Dean sighed and nodded while Bobby said he was going and was going to finish getting packed. You hugged Dean again before ensuring he still had your number and left.

A few weeks after that, you saw Sam Winchester for the first time in months. You heard rumors from the roadhouse about everything going on with Demons and hunting in packs and were looking for a girl, but you never went and checked for yourself. You knew the brothers would be there. Instead, you took up your usual gigs, hoping to stay away from the war.

It was a little salt and burn hunt. You were dressed in your FBI outfit, questioning the latest victim’s wife when you heard it. That low rumble you used to ride in. You quickly finished up your goodbyes, gave her your card, and started to walk back to your car when they stepped out. Sam’s eyes were wide, and he stood frozen at the vehicle. Dean was walking around the car. Surprise flashed in his eyes, but he kept advancing towards you. Dean wrapped you in a hug, and you returned.

Sam walked up to you and Dean. His eyes stared into yours; his mouth kept opening like he was going to stay something but then would shut it again.

“Are you still seeing her?” It is all that came out of your mouth. The distaste was evident in your voice. Sam looked taken back for a second but then regained his composure.

“No.” That was all he was able to muster up and speak. You looked at Dean for confirmation.

“I haven’t seen her.” That is all he said. That raised suspicion in you. You decided to let it go.

“If you want to help on this case, I can tell you what I have gathered so far; I was about to go get lunch- you guys are buying.” You walk past them and get in your car, not waiting for them to reply. You drove to the diner you saw on the way to the victim's house and noticed the Impala was not too far behind you. You grabbed a booth at the restaurant, and the boys slid to the other side of you. After you three ordered it, you started discussing the case and everything you learned.

“So, what’s your theory?” Sam asked after you gave them everything you learned.

“These men are not correlated to anything except they all went to the same bar. They were all at the bar the night they died. I’m not sure I would have to go back and ask all the victim’s wives, but I think these men were all unfaithful in their marriages. See, Kathleen Voss’ husband was unfaithful and wanted to be with his mistress, who, get this, was a bartender at that bar, so he killed Kathleen and tried to cover it up. Of course, he was caught but died in jail the same way as all the other victims.”

“So, you think these men are sleeping with a bartender?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know if they are unfaithful with a bartender or just in general, but I’m assuming that’s where Kathleen sticks around since that’s where her husband started cheating on her.” The boys nodded their heads in agreement as our food came. You ate, they paid, and then you told them where you were staying. Before Sam could even have a chance to talk to you, you turned around and walked to your car.

Back at the hotel room, you let out tears that had been hiding behind your eyes the entire time you were around Sam. Old wounds opened, and while you gave a brave face, you were crumpling and fast. You headed for the whiskey in your bag and drank it straight from the bottle. The burn hurt on the way down, but you hoped the effects would start soon. You changed out of your FBI gear into lounge clothes to do more research on these men. When you were about to open your laptop, you heard a knock at your door. You grabbed your gun and made your way to open it. Sam.

“Can I come in?” He asked. You didn’t reply; you just opened the door for him. He walked in and stood in the middle of the room awkwardly. You set your gun down and folded your arms across your chest. Sam let out a breath and started talking.

“I know you are still pissed, hurt, sad, everything. I meant what I said. I don’t see her anymore. I haven’t had contact with her in weeks. There are many things I want to tell you that I’m going to tell you; I want to know if I still have a chance.” You looked at him like he was stupid.

“I left MONTHS ago. You only stopped seeing her WEEKS ago? You know that first month I was at Bobby’s? You know I didn’t tell him not to tell you where I was? You could have shown up any time you wanted to, Sam! You didn’t! Sure, you left messages on my phone, but let's be honest- you were still with HER! You still chose HER! Now you want to walk into my hotel room and ask if you have a chance when I haven’t seen you for months, and it’s only been a few weeks away from that demon? Do I look like a fucking convenience store to you? You want me back; you have to earn me back. That starts with no contact with her. That starts with you showing me you want to be with me.”  One tear left your eye while Sam just looked at you. He nodded his head and started to walk out of the room. Before he crossed over, he looked at you and said softly.

“I still love you.” You didn’t reply, and he walked back to his room. You shut the door and slid down until you were sitting on the floor, letting out all the emotions you had been holding in for months.

A little while later, in your measurement time, about half a bottle later, another knock sounded at your door. You got up and stumbled over to your door, opening and seeing Dean. He looked at your state and softened his eyes but then tensed again.

“We need to talk.” That sobered you. You nodded your head and let him in. Dean walked in and turned to face you.

“Sam lied to you.” That is all he said. Your jaw clenched.

“What do you mean?”

“He is still seeing that demon; I’m pretty sure they are together now.”

Red. That is what you saw. In your lounge clothes and all, you grabbed your gun and knife; Dean already had the demon knife on him that Ruby gave the boys a while ago.

“Where the fuck is he?” You asked. Dean led you to Sam’s room. He stopped in front of it.

“Kick it down, Dean.” You spoke. Dean complied, and both of you rushed into the room—the sight before you ripped your heart out and disgusted you simultaneously. Ruby was on top of Sam, no shirt, just a black lace bra and panties. Sam only had boxers on, and he was drinking her blood. His mouth and cheeks had blood on them, and when you two busted through the door, they broke apart, and it was all over his mouth.

Sam’s eyes were wide that he had just been caught, and Ruby had that stupid ass smug smile on her face that you remember all too well. You felt your face heat us as you locked eyes with the demon bitch.

These past few months have been a test of your relationship, to say the least, with the younger Winchester. While you and Dean were on the same page, not wanting to trust a demon, Sam, for whatever reason, had a soft spot for her. You never got a good feeling from her. While Dean backed you up and said you were being sensible, Ruby would claim you were just jealous about another woman being around. Even though Sam would try to appease both sides initially, he would always take Ruby’s side, saying she was just here to help.

While she did helpful things for the three of you, it never shook you that she had an ulterior motive. At first, she would be around occasionally. She would be around with anything demon-related but would leave right after that. In any other case the three of you took, she wasn’t there. Then she started hanging around after interrogating demons; she would pop up after you three finished a hunt until it was the point that she was around almost, if not every day. It wouldn’t be as bad if she didn’t want to spend every moment with your boyfriend. The only time it seemed that you would get to see him was when you two would go to bed together.

You would voice your concerns to Sam at night when it was just you two, and he would listen, be understanding, and try to reassure you as much as you could. He would kiss on you and declare his love for you. He would tell you that he would be better with spending time with you during the day, and you would feel better- for that night. The next day, it would be the same story, a different day. You had no idea what hold Ruby had on Sam, but it was starting to piss you off.

One night, you couldn’t hold it anymore, so you let Sam have it. You let out all of your frustrations and vented your anger, hurt, and need for him to look at what she is doing. This caused a drastic fight between you and him. Dean, being only a room over, heard it and came to your rescue to defend you and try to show Sam how delusional he was starting to become. Sam stormed out that night and did not return until early that morning, smelling like a bar.

After two days of pettiness and sass, you two made up, much to Ruby’s displeasure. You made a point after the argument that you were there wherever Sam and Ruby were together. It didn’t matter if they were in the hotel room, a diner, or wherever they were; you were right there. It was pissing Ruby off. You would smugly hold Sam’s hand as she glared at you, and you would blow kisses to her, taunting her, challenging her to question Sam about you being there.

Unfortunately, the climax of your relationship hit once it was uncovered that Ruby could not get Dean out of his deal. The hurt and betrayal felt was expected but still stung. You knew you shouldn’t have trusted a demon, but a part of you hoped that you wouldn’t have to experience someone that was like your brother’s death on top of the love of your life having to go through that grief. The days following Dean’s death were rough. For the first few days, Sam and you would hold onto each other and cry, sleep, drink, and repeat. While not healthy, you and Sam had each other and would tell each other that you had one another; you guys would get through this together. However, there was a particular demon that was still sticking around.

After the first week, Ruby was still there trying to comfort Sam, not you, but only Sam. Your grief turned to anger, and you started a fight.

“Why the fuck are you even still here? You told us that you could get Dean out of his deal, and you couldn’t even fucking do that. Dean is gone; your purpose here is done. Let us grieve in peace and go find someone else to fuck over.” You snapped as she once again tried to hug Sam to comfort him. Ruby turned around, glaring at you.

“While you have been too busy living in your pathetic, sad girl world, I have been formulating a plan to get back at Lilith for Dean being sent to Hell. While I could not save Dean, I can at least help Sam get the revenge on the one who deserves it.”

“Hell no. You don’t get to be anywhere near Sam after all the shit you have put him and the rest of us through. We can figure it out on our own without your stuck-up, no good, nothing attitude around us.” Sam walked over to me and put his hands on my shoulders.

“Hey, I know we are all upset right now, but let's calm down for a second and hear what the plan is, hmm? Do you think that’s possible?” You glared up at him.

“Don’t you see what she is doing? She is tearing us apart. First, Dean, and now she is going to wedge herself between us. She is not good for you, Sam. She is not good for us. Let us figure out how to deal with Lilith on our own. We don’t need her.” Sam sighed.

“I am going to hear her out; if you don’t want to, fine, but when you are ready to seek justice for Dean, let me know.” He kissed the top of your head and then stalked out of the room. Ruby gave you a smug look and sauntered out of the room to follow Sam. You could only stand there seething.

After that, Sam started to distance himself from you. He would come to bed after you and be gone before you woke up. He and Ruby would stop talking when you entered the room, and he no longer talked to you about Dean, Lillith, the plan, or anything for that matter. He would ask how you were doing, tell you he loved you, and make casual conversation, but that’s it. You put up with this for two weeks, but after that, you had enough.

You packed a bag, all the stuff you have been traveling with, and some of the weapons and gear from the Impala you typically used. You walk into the main living room where Ruby and Sam are; as usual, they stop talking as soon as you enter the room, except Sam’s eyes widen when he sees your bag. You dropped it on the ground, and it made a thump sound and made eye contact with him.

“Listen close, Winchester, and listen well because I will only say this once. I can’t remember the last time you came to bed with me, when I woke up to you or even when I had more than a three-minute conversation with you. You are keeping secrets from me, and if that isn’t bad enough, you are keeping secrets from me with a Demon, in case you forgot that is what she is. We are no closer to finding a way to get Dean back or kill Lillith unless we are, and you just don’t want to tell me. However, all I know is all our problems started when that bitch walked into our lives. So now you have a choice. You can continue this little scheme with a demon, the one who has lied to us and used us; you and her can talk and hang out all you want. You can even kiss her and fuck her if you haven’t already because let's be honest, I don’t even know where you are most of the time anymore,” Tears start to form in your eyes, but your voice doesn’t falter; Sam is standing up at this point but not moving towards you.

“or you can come with me. You can grab your things; we can leave in the Impala and put her behind us. I won’t ask questions, I won’t be mad, it will just be me and you and the bitch that has brought this on us,” You take a moment to glare at Ruby, who is already glaring at you, before looking back at Sam, “will be forgotten. I don’t want to throw away the years we have been together, Sam, but I refuse to compete with a demon when I am already yours. You can’t have both of us, so you must pick one.” Sam’s eyes are glossy, and he is trying to hold back tears. He takes a step towards you, but you take a step back. If you let Sam touch you, it is a guaranteed fold, and you will still be stuck here playing the third wheel with your own boyfriend. Sam stops moving but starts speaking softly.

“I’m sorry I have been keeping things from you; that is my fault. I have been distant, but it isn’t because I love you any less, because Y/N, I love you so much. Ruby has a plan. We have been working on it together, which takes a lot of time and effort. I know I haven't been the best boyfriend, but I am doing this for us- for Dean. You have to believe me on that. I would never want to hurt you, but this plan that Ruby has will work; I need the time to figure it out together.” Your heart sinks as, once again, he is defending what she is doing.

“She said her plan for Dean would work too, Sam, and look at where that got us. I don’t trust her. I don’t know what this plan is, but it’s not a good one, and it's leading you down a dark path. What I still say stands- me or her. Who is more important to you, Sam.” One tear falls down your face as your boyfriend doesn’t immediately answer. He shakes his head.

“Please don’t make me choose.” He says finally, voice cracking. You sigh, shake your head, and grab your bag.

“It sounds like you already did. I will figure out how to get Dean out on my own. Have fun with your new demon girlfriend.” You walk towards the door, hoping Sam will at least grab your wrist and stop you try to convince you to stay, anything. However, when you get to the door and open it, you turn to look back at Sam and he is still standing in the same place, but now Ruby is standing beside him, hand on his shoulder as she is also looking at you walk out the door- except she has a slight smile on her face. You scoff,

“Seems like she has a deeper root on you than either of us realized, huh, Sammy?” You say before walking through the door and closing it behind you, along with the life you had with Sam. More tears fell down your face as you started walking away from the motel room you guys were in for the week. You allowed yourself to cry for a few minutes before wiping your tears away.

You had to save Dean. You had to make a plan.

You and the boys had been tailing this Shtriga for two weeks. You would get close to it, then it would escape, and then it would hop somewhere different. It has already put a total of 14 kids in the hospital, and you were hoping it would be greedy and try to get one more kid before it disappeared again for who knows how long. It was now in a small town and had already taken the younger sibling of two girls, and you are betting it would be going after the oldest tonight.

At the motel room, you, Dean, and Sam were finishing up packing the gear you wanted to take and going over the plan one more time. You were acting as a detective earlier that day and were able to set a camera up in the girl’s room. You three would sneak in and wait for the Shtriga to come and then kill it before it could escape again. Everyone was on edge; this thing has been escaping you guys for the past two weeks, but everyone is determined not to let it get away this time.

“You okay?” Dean asks as you look out the motel window, lost in your thoughts as they load up the car. You turned to your boyfriend of just about six months and smiled at him.

“I’m good; I just really want to get this son of a bitch and go home.” Dean came over and wrapped his arms around you and then gave you a quick kiss on the lips, which you returned to him immediately. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he hugged you.

“We will get him, and then 15 kids will wake up, and we will get to celebrate a job well done.” You smiled at him before Sam coughed and muttered, “We are good to go.” You giggled and kissed Dean one more time before hurrying out to the Impala after Sam.

Hours after you guys arrived at the house, you finally noticed movement in the window. You hit Dean softly on the arm and pointed to where you were seeing the Shtriga. All three of you took the safety off of your guns and were waiting for it to start feeding. Your heart was beating, and nerves were beginning to kick in. There was an 11-year-old girl in the room, and her safety was a top priority. Your job was to get to her while Sam and Dean would shoot at the Shtriga. You would have to crawl quickly, but you would be able to make sure she stayed down and out of harm's way.

Dean squeezed your hand before letting go and slowly standing up, and you and Sam followed suit. You were the first to go in that way. You didn’t have these two men blocking you from getting to the girl. You three watched as the Shtriga began feeding.

“Now, now!” Dean whispered and yelled. You hustled to the door, slammed it open, and quickly dropped to the floor to get to the girl. The Shtriga looked up as Sam and Dean let off rounds. The girl screamed, and you pulled her down to the ground with you.

“It’s okay; I’m going to get you out of here.” You say to the shaking girl. “I need you to stay low to the ground and crawl with me, okay?” The girl crying nodded, and you two began to make your way across the room. Something grabbed your ankle and pulled you back; you let out a little scream and tried to turn to face what was pulling you.

“Y/N!” Dean yelled. You tried to kick at the Shtriga, but it wouldn’t let go of you. It grabbed your shirt and flew you against the wall. Your vision got hazy as you hit your head. You heard the little girl scream for her dad while you tried to stand up. Between trying to focus your vision back, you see Dean on the other side of the room groaning, holding his side, and Sam knocked out by the door. You see the Shtriga quickly move towards the little girl, pin her down, and start to retake her life force. You groan and try to get up quickly.

You hear a new voice. “Hey! Get off my daughter!” The dad comes in, trying to push the Shtriga off of his daughter, who takes hold of his shirt and flings him into the other room. You hear a bunch of clattering and hope the dad is okay.

On your feet, you yell for the Shtriga gun already raised. “Hey, bitch!” You yell. The Shtriga slightly turns towards you, still feeding on the girl. You shoot. The Shtriga’s head jerks back as you shoot straight in the forehead, and it stumbles away from the girl and falls on its back on the floor. You run to the girl and immediately put your fingers to her neck, trying to find a pulse. It’s faint. You let out a shaky breath; she is safe. You look up to Dean to celebrate this, but he isn’t in the room. You look around frantically, thinking something happened that you missed, but you catch a glimpse of him in the other room. He is kneeling by the girl's father. A pit forms in your stomach. He looks up and makes eye contact with you, then shakes his head. Fuck.

The ride back to the hotel room was quiet. The death of the father weighs on everyone. For you, you take it personally more than the boys. It was your job to get the girl to safety. If you did your job and got her out of the room like you were supposed to, then there was no reason for the dad to be there. He would be holding his little girl right now instead of a paramedic trying to tell her that her dad is never coming back. Were you being irrational with yourself? Of course. But this is what you do. You take it personally when you can’t save everyone- especially families. Dean’s jaw was clenched the entire time back to the motel; you knew he was upset. You couldn't guess whether he was upset at you or the hunt in general, but if you were him, you would be mad at you, too. You messed this up; you couldn’t do the one thing you were supposed to do, and a father paid the price. Sam kept glancing at Dean and you. He was upset, but he knows how you and Dean are when a hunt is not perfect. You either take it out on each other or yourselves. Sometimes both.  It was one of the many things you had in common, but this trait was the most toxic one you two shared. He was waiting for the bomb to blow because the fuse had already been set.

Dean got out of the Impala quickly and quietly. Sam waited a second to see if you would do the same, but when you didn’t, he turned around to face you.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked you. You looked up at him.

“No, Sammy, I’m good.” He knew arguing with you would get nowhere, so he just nodded his head and got out. You sat there for a few minutes alone in silence, letting the demons take over your thoughts about how you fucked this up. It was your fault that family is torn apart now and that their lives are changed for the worse because you couldn’t manage to kick an old hag’s hand off of your ankle. You tilted your head back, not daring to let one tear fall, and let out a shaky breath. You closed your eyes, trying to regulate yourself, when the back door on the other side of the impala opened. You smelt him before he was even in the car.

Dean slid in the back and looked at you. There was tension as you both waited to see if this would be a conversation or an argument. You made the first move.

“I fucked up, I know.” You said, finally looking over at him. His gaze on you was intense as if he were trying to read you to figure out what he needed to be and do at that moment. When you said that, his gaze softened, and his shoulders relaxed.

“Sweetheart, this isn’t on you.” He said.

“It was my job to get her out of there. If I had done my job right, the dad would have never come into that room,” you said.

“You don’t know that; he could have come back in there to try to take care of the three intruders in his house for all we know. He was protecting his child, something any good father would do.” You looked out the window and mumbled.

“It’s our job to protect them.” Dean grabbed your hand, and when you didn’t pull away, he laced your fingers together. You looked back over at him, tears threatening to spill, but you'll be damned if you are weak right now; you don’t deserve it.

“I know I’m a hypocrite saying this because I do the same thing,” Dean started, “but we can't save everyone; you did everything that you could do at that moment, and when you didn’t get up at first, I was scared for a moment that you hit your head a little too hard, and I lost concentration on what we were there for. My only thought was to get to you and ensure you were okay. I could have grabbed the girl and taken her out, but in my moment of weakness, it grabbed me and threw me. I am as much to blame for that father as you and Sam. We take this blame together, learn from it, and move on. You are a damn good hunter, but it's insanity to think that we can save everyone from everything.”

You let one tear slip, then another, then another, until you were full-on crying but not daring to make a sound.

“Oh, baby,” Dean said, pulling you to him. He twisted himself on the seat so you could lean your head in his chest as he held you close. He rubbed your back with his hand as he kissed the top of your head. You two sat there in this position until the tears stopped, and the only thing you could hear was each other’s breathing. You looked up at him.

“Thank you.” You said as you wiped your runny nose with your sleeve. He gave you a soft smile.

“I know I’m not perfect, but I promise I’m always going to be here for you, sweetheart. You mean everything to me.” You leaned up and gave him a soft kiss on his lips.

“Let's go inside and get some rest, okay?” You say as you scoot away from him. He nods his head, and you both get out. You meet at the front of the Impala, where he grabs and holds your hand as you walk to the motel room.

It was just supposed to be a simple supply run. Sam just needed to get things to stock up on the infirmary, Dean’s pie, and some food to last them a few more days until they picked up another case. Sam decided to pick up lunch for him and Dean at the last minute. He entered the diner they always go to and placed an order. While waiting for the order to be done, he casually looked around and saw him.

Your boyfriend, who, for the record, Sam never liked, was sitting beside another woman, arm slung around her as they were giggling and whispering. Your boyfriend reached over and slowly kissed this other woman who was definitely not you. You and he had not been dating long, around four months if Sam can remember correctly, but Sam would have remembered if you two had broken up. He waited too late to tell you how he felt, and he has been waiting for the day he gets the opportunity to again.

Sam’s anger was bubbling over. How dare he go and cheat on you. You were the best thing that any man could ask for. You were sweet, caring, and outspoken, and you were never afraid to put anyone in their place when needed. He loved that about you. He, of course, worried about you and wanted you to be safe and happy, but he knew that you could also take care of yourself and handle your own. Any man would be lucky to have you. Sam pulled out his phone and pressed on your number. After three rings you answered.

“Hey, Sammy!” You sounded so happy, and his heart ached, knowing he was about to be the reason your mood would turn sour.

“Hey, sweetheart, what are you doing?” He asked, trying to sound as steady in his voice as possible.

“I’m just grabbing a few things for mine and Nate’s apartment. Why? Are you okay?” He couldn't help but smile a little. You always made sure that the brothers were okay.

“I’m okay; hey, how far are you from the diner off of Spring Street?” He asked, looking at your boyfriend again, now kissing this other woman’s neck. Disgusting.

“I’m just around the corner. Why?”

“I’m here, and I need to show you something—but I’m going to warn you; you’re not going to like it.” The food he was waiting for was placed in front of him. He looked up at the waitress and gave her a smile and nod, which she returned and then walked away to continue her job.

“Sammy, you’re scaring me.” You say as you let out a half laugh, but now, quickly walking to the diner, you and the brothers always go to it when you return home.

“I want you to know that you always have a home with me and Dean; remember that, please?” Sam said, trying to prepare you the best you can.

“Sam, what the fuck is going on?” You say, a little irritated that you have no idea what he is talking about, but you see the diner entrance and hang up the phone, busting through the door more forcefully than you should. Sam quickly turns around and walks up to you.

“What is it, Sam?” You say stiffly.

“Look to your right at the back booth,” Sam says quietly. Your eyes turn, and you see your boyfriend with another girl. You see red. You march up to the booth, Sam tailing right behind you in case things go south.

“So, this is what you do?” You start with an attitude directed towards your about-to-be ex-boyfriend. “I go out to get things for our apartment that YOU insisted we get together, even though it hasn’t even been six months, and you’re swapping spit with another woman?” Your breathing is heavy, and your fists are clenched, trying not to swing at this man, sorry boy, on the spot. The other woman looks at him, shocked.

“You have a girlfriend?” You let out a forced laugh.

“Not anymore, honey. He is all yours.” You say as you start to turn around.

“Y/N, wait,” Nate says, grabbing your wrist. You turn around quickly and take a swing at his face. Your fist collides with his cheek. He lets go of your wrist and instantly holds his cheek.

“Don’t touch me.” You spat. He looked up, anger flashing in his eyes.

“You bitch.” He growls, standing up. Sam stepped in front of you, staring down at Nate.

“You want to repeat what you just called her?” Sam said dangerously low. Nate looked at Sam, then you. He then scoffed.

“Whatever man you can have her,” he said, then brushed past the two of you. Sam looked at the woman, who looked embarrassed.

“Sorry.” He muttered before ushering you out of the diner, but he still remembered to pick up the food he had paid for. When you two walked out, your adrenaline wore off, and you looked up at the sky, trying not to let the one tear fall from your eye. You were mad at yourself for even wanting to cry. That douche didn’t deserve it. While still looking at the sky, you muttered to Sam.

“I’ll—uh—take that home with you and Dean now.” Sam gave you a sad smile that you didn’t see, but he grabbed you and wrapped his arms around you, a hug that you returned.

“He didn’t deserve you; I didn’t like him anyway.” You let out a half-hearted chuckle.

“You don’t like anyone I date,” you replied. He looked up at the sky; he was going to do it.

“That’s, uh, because they aren’t me, and I’m not the one getting to do everything they do with you.” You stood there momentarily, not moving, processing what he just told you.

“Sammy, I- what?” You say as you lean back and look at him. He met your gaze.

“I’ve liked you for a while now, Y/N. I’ve never been able to tell you, and I’ve missed my chance, but I won’t miss it again. I want to be the person who holds your hand, kisses you, takes you on dates, makes you happy, and sleeps with you at night. I want the good, the bad, then in between. I know I don’t deserve you either, but I promise you I will cherish you more than the other men you have dated.” You smile a soft smile at him, always having a soft spot for the younger Winchester but never acting on it until now.

You stood outside for an hour and a half, waiting for your date to arrive. Ever since you found out you were starting to develop feelings for your best friend, Dean, you have been trying everything to make those feelings go away. You tried entering the dating scene, which is very hard with your lifestyle for obvious reasons, and you finally found someone you thought was nice. His name was Dylan. He had a regular job working at a firm; he was kind, always complimented you, and seemed like you would have a good time with him. You had been waiting outside this restaurant he picked, hoping he would show up, but at 8:30, when it started drizzling, you sighed in defeat and fished your phone out of the handbag you bought special for tonight.

“Hey sweetheart, you have a good time?” Dean said as soon as he picked up.

“Dean, can you come get me?” You said quietly.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Dean said protectively. You could hear him starting to grab his things quickly.

“Dylan, uh,” You start to tear up a little, “He didn’t show.” You said softly.

“That asshole, I’ll be right there.” Dean hung up and you looked around at one last attempt for Dylan.

Not even ten minutes later, Dean pulls up in the Impala and gets out. You run up to him, not caring if it is drizzling, and hug him. He wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on top of yours. You let out a few tears on his shirt and then back away, wiping the rest away.

“Can we go home?” You ask not looking at him to embrassed that you were stood up on the first date you have attempted to go on in forever. Dean took hold of your chin to make you look at him.

“That dude was an asshole and does not deserve you. We are not wasting the effort you spent getting ready, come on.”  He took your hand in his and led you to the impala. He opened the door for you, helped you get in, and then shut the door behind you. He jogged to the other side and got in roaring baby to life and taking you away from what was supposed to be a nice date.

You ended up at your and Dean’s favorite diner. You walked in and had dinner, and he made sure to make you laugh and smile the entire time. After dinner, he took you to an indoor arcade where you played all the shooter games competing on who was the better shot. When you were done with the arcade it was almost eleven at night. You walked out, and rain was pouring down. Dean shrugged off his jacket and gave it to you to put over your head. You looked at him and smiled, then said

“Race you!” You took off before he could even reply.

“Cheater!” You heard him yell after you. You two were laughing all the way to the car. Dean unlocked the doors, and you hurried inside. Dean put the heater on, and you guys laughed while trying to warm up. You looked over at him.

“Thank you, Dean. This was great—you didn’t have to do this,” you said as you looked over at him. He looked at you and smiled a soft smile that you rarely get to see.

“You deserve to be happy, Y/N. That guy was an asshole and it is my job to be there when these jerks fall short.” You smiled at him as your heart started to flutter again. He put the car in drive and started to head back to the bunker.

You were on a case in the northern part of Tennessee. A thought of a wendigo hiding in the wooded mountains had you here for about a week. Generally, in a case like this, you would bring back up, but all of your usual asks were either on another case or too far away from you to be able to help within the timeline. You hated wendigos; you felt like they were the worst monsters to fight, but you had a missing mother and father with three young children depending on you to find them, so you headed to the park entrance to start looking for it in the woods.

When you park your car, you see there is one other vehicle there, too, which is strange since the sheriff told everyone to stay out of the woods for the time being. Having to worry about other people being out here is not something you had in mind, but when has anything gone smoothly in this line of work? It was a 67’ Chevy Impala, and she was a beauty. You sighed and popped your trunk, getting the gear you needed for this hunt, hoping to finish it by tonight.

You had been in the woods for about three hours, starting at the campsite where the couple was taken and trying to follow tracks from there. You heard rustling to your right and immediately took the safety off your gun and hid behind a tree. You started to hear two men talking.

“I’m telling you, I heard something coming from over here,” One guy said as they approached closer.

“Dean, we have been out here for hours. Maybe we should try again tomorrow; it will get dark soon,” another voice said. They hit the little clearing you were in, and you came out from behind the tree, gun drawn. The two men heard you and quickly drew their guns at you, and now the three were at a standoff.

“You shouldn’t be out here, little lady.” The shorter one of them said with a little smirk. “The sheriff didn’t tell you these woods were dangerous and off-limits?”

“Funny, I should be asking you the same thing. Why don’t you boys pack it up before one of you gets hurt- or worse.”

“We can handle ourselves,” the man replies. The taller of the two men was looking at you, contemplating something.

“Can I help you?” You say, gun still drawn on them, but turning your attention to the taller man.

“Um. I’m Sam, and this is my brother, Dean; I’m sorry- but are you a hunter?” He asks bluntly. You look between the two boys.

“You’re here for the wendigo?” You ask. They nod their heads. You lower your gun and put it back in your holster.

“Great, I needed the backup. I’m Y/N.” You hold out your hand while the brothers put their guns down and shake your hand. You notice Dean’s hands are super rough and calloused, but Sam's, while rough, has a gentle touch to them.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” Sam says, smiling at you. You smile back, and after a few moments, Dean lets out an awkward cough, and you snap out of looking at Sam.

“So, do we want to make a plan?” You ask. The boys look at each other before looking back at you, sharing all the information you have and developing a plan.

_________________________________________________________

You find the Wendigos' lair, and you three start to split up at the different tunnels to try and find the missing couple. Dean splits off first, then Sam, leaving you walking along by yourself.

You turn a corner in the tunnels, where you spot the couple and what looks to be a younger guy hanging from the ceiling. You quickly run over to them and see that the couple is still alive, but the younger man, unfortunately, has no pulse. You start to cut the women down first followed by the man. The woman is knocked unconscious, but the man is halfway awake.

“Don’t worry, I will get you out of here.”

“You have to leave; it will be back soon.”

“It’s okay I can handle it.” Like the universe was laughing at you, you hear a screech behind you. You quickly turn around and see the outline of the Wendigo. You quickly react by shooting a flare from your flare gun but miss. The light makes the Wendigo back up.

“SAM! DEAN! I FOUND IT!” You yell hoping they can hear you. You quickly turn back around and finish cutting the man down.

“Can you carry your wife?” you ask. He nods, goes to his wife, and picks her up. You look around for the Wendigo, but you don’t see it.

“SAM! DEAN!” You yell again.

“Y/N?!” You can hear Sam yell closer to you.

“Over here!” you yell back. Sam comes running up to see that you and the couple are okay. He notices the younger guy strung up.

“It’s too late for him.” You say. He nods his head and then says

“We need to get out of here quick. Dean is going to try to distract it so we can make a break for it.” You nod your head, and you guys start running quickly. Sam quickly grabs your hand and pulls you to the wall beside him, which makes you grab the couple's husband and pull him back to the wall. Sam is peeking around the corner, and after a few seconds, he nods back at you, and you guys start running again.

You see the exit coming up, but the Wendigo jumps in front of you and blocks it. The Wendigo screeches, and Sam raises his flare gun and fires it while Dean runs from a connecting tunnel. He also fires at the Wendigo. The creature starts to erupt in flames and dies screaming the entire time. You guys smile and let out a little laugh when you notice something. Sam never let go of your hand. You guys make eye contact, realizing the same thing at the same time, and you feel your cheeks hit up a little bit, thankful the tunnel is dark so he might not see.

“Alright, let's get back to the entrance,” Dean says.

The sun was barely up when you returned to the park entrance and where your cars were. You helped the couple into the back of your car before turning around and walking up to the boys who were now leaning on their car.

“Thank you for the help on this case, boys.” You say, “I'm going to get these two home and then be gone before the sheriff can ask me any questions.”

“It was great working with you too, sweetheart,” Dean smirked. You roll your eyes but give him a polite smile. You look at Sam.

“You’re a great hunter. I hope we cross paths again,” Sam says. You smile and pull out a slip of paper you had that you wrote your number on.

“I’m counting on it.” You say as you give him the paper. You turn around smiling to yourself hoping that he would call you.