Children of Obliteration, Guardians of Desis

Once he'd rolled the car into a park (but not a parking spot, some idiot would be by to grab it before the work day began, anyway) and cut the engine, he looked over his shoulder at Sir Chatty and gave a little snort of a laugh. Though, he stopped himself just-short of offering to school the kid on stereotypical aliens with a showing of Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

Would that be culturally insensitive? But also, that would be extending an invitation to some kids to visit his apartment. Their fucked up meal plans aside, the looks he'd get from the neighbors… Nah.

"Well shit, kid, good fucking luck with that," he said instead, not explicitly but otherwise agreeing that yeah the spaceship thing wasn't important. As he got out of the car he added, "Try not to make a mess of," only to stop short when he turned back to the car and saw the look the kid was giving him.

Eradic barks out a quick laugh. "Unappetizing would be difficult. Maybe if you reached enlightenment and were at peace with yourself..." Some foods smelt awful but tasted good. If the other were truly devoid of emotion and (if he wanted to be sure) life, then and only then would he be unappetizing to both of them. But at that point, he'd be a corpse.

He did not, however, hate this Monster. So he'll try to prevent his early demise. Not that he'd say it out loud.

Getting out of the car and stumbling slightly, Eradic stretches out his arms. "Noted." He nodded, going over to a wall to lean on it and shift weight off his legs. "Go home, then. And if you'd like some advice on staying alive...

...Maybe take a bit of a shower. It's very easy to track your scent." He smirks slightly, looking off in the direction of his brother's rapidly approaching scent.

Later.

For now, he turned another street corner. The drop-off point was just up ahead and as-belatedly-expected the kid didn't know what a spaceship was. "That's gotta be one hell of a complicated spell if you're still here," he commented idly. "And I just figured - well, y'know - you called you type of critters aliens, and aside from ass-probin', another alien cliché is fucking around in a spaceship." A pity there wasn't one. The things he'd do to get elbows-deep in an alien machine… The upgrades he could reverse-engineer for his bike…

"No, people just taste best." Eradic smiles, completely sarcastic. Yes, they were 'obligate people-eaters' in a way, but it was difficult to find another renewable source of fresh emotion and magic. The smile drops after a moment, and he rubs his face slightly, mumbling to himself.

"I do not know what aliens would have to do with spaceships... Aliens are just those that originate from a different planet, no?" He shakes his head slowly. They did, however, have airships. Did not go to space, no. But now he's wondering if he could rig one to do that and NOT cost him his entire fortune in parts.

"Ah, not important. Yes, the spell is complicated. One wrong stroke and we'd either get shredded across space, OR end up in a different time aged all wrong." He just needed to tweak one last equation and test again. It should be fine. He peeks out the window at the warehouse, and nodded.

Once they stopped, he turned to the door and...

....

Eradic turned to Fuse with a small scowl, unsure on how to open the door.

"I assume you do not want this ripped off." Translation: Help.

He turned the next corner and again peeped the kiddo via the rear view mirror amidst the grumbling.

"… Yeah, good fuckin' point."

But since no one he knew had gone missing, he couldn't find it in himself to care beyond that surface level wondering. It also helped that he hadn't seen anything of the sort like what had happened - was probably still happening - back where he'd run into the two (half-literally) on the news. Not that he'd been paying attention to the news those days.

Sir Chatty's sarcasm got another snicker at said kid's expense. The rat held off on further commentary, at least until the statement that followed it. "So, what, do you have a spaceship or some shit like that?"

Eradic sniffs a little, squinting at the skeleton. "You try working on a hungry stomach for a couple hundred years and see how happy you feel." He sasses back, tone light but not the most friendly. "Everyone's lucky I don't just gobble up their children. Their joy smells sweet." He mutters, though it sounded less like a threat and more like empty words and frusturation. He averted his gaze to his feet for a moment.

"...A what?" The devourer's eyes shot back up, and he blinks a few times, brows furrowed in a failed attempt to hide his clueless confusion. 'Space ship'? What is... a space ship? Trying to get a boat to fly would require unnecessary amounts of resources, much less getting it into space. Unless the meaning wasn't literal? "No, it's... it's a spell formula. Why would I use a space ship?"

Confusion aside, Eradic taps his chin. "Anywhere with no people. I need to calm my brother down and the smell of people won't help. Preferably somewhere far from you, too." He can't promise Decim won't just gobble up the closest mortal for 'one last bite'. He's not ungrateful, even if he doesn't like mortals.

'Sides, it wasn't long later before he was snickering up a storm at the poor kid's reaction to his crass commentary. "… Heh. Huh… Wait, really? From where I'm sittin' I thought you two were tight-knit." Another corner rounded, about four more blocks to go… He flicked his eyes up to the rear view mirror just in time to miss anything but that sour look on Sir Chatty's face and the scowl that followed it and preceded his little tirade.

Throughout which, Fuse again focused his eyelights back on the road - with exception for another brief glance away, over to a side mirror. The silver lining out of all this was that he was no longer being chased by cops. He wasn't gonna have to spend the night in a cell and face whatever the charge was for stealing some idiot's car.

The reverse-silver lining was… Eh… If he were a human he would've pissed his pants back there, maybe even had a heart attack given how absolutely fucking trash his diet was. Lucky him, he was a skeleton.

"First off, I didn't call you stupid," two could play the deflection game, though in his case it was more an attempt to dodge the accusation of having done so, "But I do gotta question why the fuck you thought the sirens were for you." In other words: what the hell have you two been up to?

Eradic decides to leave it be. Forget it, he'll learn what Karma is himself.

"We are. But I am different." He muttered, but says no more on the topic. The brothers were close, and he intends to keep it that way... but if he were to die, Decim would probably be okay on his own. He's better than him in terms of getting up and staying that way.

At the question of what he's been up to, Eradic grumbled to himself, looking out the windows for a quiet moment.

"You see what Decim does when I'm not supervising." He points behind him. "Take a guess."

"And joy. Such mercy, for me? I am endlessly thankful for your people's restraint." He dryly responds, hating the concept of cars more and more. They're only really good concepts on paper. In reality, they're awful, dangerous, and he doesn't know why anyone drives. Death machine, they are. DEATH. MACHINES. "Luckily for me I'm getting off this stupid world the second my brother stops making messes..." So he won't have to deal with dumb death machines and loud noises and smelly cities anymore. What a life.

… Mostly not really, but he had been assistant to two Royal Scientists so the curiosity was unfortunately there. It was just a very fractional, woefully nagging, degree of curiosity.

He went back to staring up at the still-red light. "… Huh. Damn. Well… Thank fuck you aren't the ass-probin' type of aliens." They were just the people eatin' kind. Luckily the only cops he knew were ones he didn't care for, but damn was he glad he wasn't in the King's shoes 'cause that carnage was one hundred percent going to be pinned on monsters.

Which also wasn't great for him, being a monster and all, but whatever. It probably wouldn't be catastrophic.

"I doubt she'd try vivisectin' you but that's fuckin' fair, I guess. S'long as you don't go dyin' back there. I don't think I'd wanna try explaining that to your bro." When the light finally changed, they were once more on the move. The momentary stop had given him enough time to orientate himself with regards to location, so he knew where to go, now, to ditch the car.

"Karma?" What did karma have to do with any of this? Was it a term referring to something other than the consequences of someone's actions here? Hm, perhaps he could look into this when he has the time and energy. The child looked genuinely curious for a split second, before cringing at the next several words.

"Ass- no! By the fangs, that's disgusting!" Eradic shudders at the thought, the image as vivid as a memory (and yes, unfortunately, it was). "And I will not die. Even if I had died, I... doubt Decim would do anything to you out of revenge." He murmured, looking slightly hurt before steeling his expression to his usual attempt at appearing serious and mature: glaring like the world was offensive for existing.

The question was turned on him, and the devourer scowled.

"....I am NOT stupid." He hissed, immediately finding personal offense in the words but clearly flustered by his mistake. "I was distracted. Sirens started blaring, and I... made a quick decision without consulting myself." Eradic grumbled, a quiet, rumbling growl overlaying his words.

"It is NOT my fault your world has chosen to create high-speed death machines for the sake of transportation! Why is this city so haphazardly built? Why can't everything be within walking distance! You would not need death machines if you were smart!" The devourer complains, folding his hands and whining (though he would not call it that) in the back seat. "This place is stupid!"

Ahh, the beauty of redirecting attention to something other than your embarassing self.

And as much as he'd like to entertain the potential staring contest in the mirror, Fuse had to return his attention to the road sooner rather than later. He didn't want to run into another poor idiot or, worse yet, dint the car.

Or… Dint the car more. It probably had a kid-sized dent in its bumper now that he was thinking about it…

Red light. He rolled the car to a stop to wait. All the better to pay attention to the conversation at hand. By the end of listening to the kid he couldn't help but pull a face at the notion of being eaten. "Yeah, no, you assume right. And I'd taste fucking terrible, too! No skin. All bones. Lotsa grease. I haven't showered today, and it's been a hell of a day. You'd end up six feet under instead, or you'd at the very fuckin' least come down with some incurable disease." Ah, gallows humor, his former expertise. So much so that he wasn't sure that counted.

Distracted was a weak way to say it, but sure. Distracted. Eradic avoids thinking about the mess he'd certainly have to go back and clean up, brushing the thought aside before it entered the forefront of his pounding skull.

He noticed the car stopping and was about to ask why they had when the other spoke up in response. Not wanting to look clueless, Eradic dismisses his question.

"Thanks for the heads up. I'll be sure only to eat your soul and leave your body for disposal." He dryly responds, looking out the window with feigned disinterest. He could tell the other smelled rather strongly, but compared to everything else it was honestly negligible. "Or should I wash and boil you like shellfish? Your marrow would make good soup, should my patience last long enough."

He's got no appetite. Everything hurts. He's pretty sure he's got several of his own teeth lodged into his body. Urgh.

"No." He shakes his head, "It's... complicated. We're not monsters nor human, more so... animals? Aliens? Both? Magical cures are purely snacks, physical treatments are sometimes effective." He didn't know enough about himself to put what he knew into an easy to understand explanation, but there are only two living specimens of his own kind. He'd sooner eat his own foot than experiment on his brother.

"I'd rather not put myself at the mercy of a mad scientist. I've met too many far too eager to vivisect me in the name of curiosity." He grumbles, frowning. "I'll be fine. There's no other option than to be fine, anyway." He needed to take care of Decim. He's not allowed to die, so the only option is to live.

"...I notice that the interior of this car does not smell of you. Care to explain why you were driving so wildly or shall we sit in awkward silence?" He hopes Decim is okay. He hasn't heard any urgent squeaks from his brother, just an excited howl outside of most creatures' range of hearing.

Then it was eyelights back to the road and a turn to the right; half-way down that stretch of the next block over he let up on the gas just enough to obey the speed limit. While he suspected any available cops in the area would be zoning in on the disastrous traffic stop gone wrong gone pork buffet, there was always that one guy on the force with an extraneously long stick up their ass. Maybe they got eaten already, maybe they didn't. Better not take chances.

Since all the mayhem was no longer within view, and he hadn't vehicularly manslaughtered a kid, Fuse had begun to regain his wits. Somewhat. Enough so to consider the kid's suggestion without misinterpreting it this time.

… Maybe.

Eradic rolls his eyes at the responses, looking out the window with his hands folded over his chest. Now that the driving wasn't all over the place, he no longer needed to cling to something.

"If I can hide an entire caravan in plain sight, I can hide a single car." He scoffs, mildly offended (and embarassed at rejection). "But do as you wish. The hassle is just so that you may live, I need no such help. I don't want to waste more magic on you anyway." He slightly waves a hand, turning his head away and taking a deep breath to push down the... emotions in his throat.

His eyes drag back and upwards to the ones in the mirror, staring back.

"Do you think a doctor could help? You've seen my brother. I am the same." He murmured, shuffling slightly. His insides feel bruised, and he has no doubt that trying to pull himself out of his shell would hurt horribly. He'd heal faster but... at what cost? Being a vulnerable pile of uncooked pasta?

"Forget it. I'm fine on my own, this isn't the first time I've gotten rammed with something, nor is this the worst." Eradic dismisses, though a small part of him did wish he had a doctor. That part's stupid though, and needs to shut up forever. "I'll get better eventually. It'd be faster if I ate something, but." He chuckles dryly, "I assume that being eaten is not within your best interests."

That question, where they were going, was a good damn question. The drop-off point was obvious - in order to ditch the car, like he'd planned - but after that?… Logic dictated the hospital, but logic had left the building when that other kid went all The Thing and started slaughtering the pigs.

Chances were that the kid he had in the car could do the same shit. What a wonderful thought he wasn't gonna dwell on for the sake of his sanity.

"No can do, pal!" And as he spoke he gripped the wheel and stepped on the gas, the car jerking forward and regaining its quick momentum down the road. He glanced to the side-view mirror before almost immediately returning his eyelights straight ahead. "Your, uh, bro, told me to get you the fuck outta here and I, to be fucking frank, also want to get the fuck outta here. Seein' as the vote's two against one we are therefore getting the fuck out of here."

At the very least he wanted to get out of viewing of that horror show before it drew too much extraneous attention. He'd slow up a block or two away to see if the freak of nature could, as he'd said he would, catch up.

"That's not- ugh!" Eradic grunted, clinging onto the seat to avoid being thrown around the car. "I'm not telling you to stop, I- whatever!"

Forming metal nails to replace his fingers, the golden-eyed devourer swiftly scratched a circle filled with intricate symbols into the seat. A warm, barely visible golden glow surrounded the car for a moment, vanishing. Eradic then clings onto the car door, getting mildly sick from the driving.

He put a protection spell on the car. Decim plays rough, and frankly, he's not confident that his brother wouldn't toss around any cars in his playing.

Back to the current situation at hand...

"...If you get somewhere enclosed- or at least narrow, I can seal the place off. Have them never find you." He tells the other, voice calm despite the rising nausea. The other's distress, panic, alarm, combined with the distant smell of pain and suffering made it very difficult to focus- but Eradic has been through worse. He's just hoping Decim knows when to stop... losing half the population for a midnight snack would greatly interfere with their plans.

"Uh -"

Everything hurts. He was healing, yes, but that didn't mean he wasn't in pain. In fact, it meant he was in even more pain trying to pull himself together. He managed to get up on his feet some time ago, but his balance had not yet righted itself.

His attempts proved meaningless as he was scooped up by the stranger. The devourer wanted to protest, but decided against it. It was his mistake for running out into the road so suddenly. He's just glad it isn't Decim. The smell of stress was, however, very apparent and very nauseating.

"Hn." He made a noise of acknowledgement as he was dumped into the back seat, grunting slightly. He didn't want to think about Decim's mess, but...

...Ugh, he smells so much blood it's making him hungry. That was bad.

"Where are we going?" He asks, shuffling closer to the window to watch the carnage behind them. Not knowing how to open the window, he presses his face up against the glass in order to try and glimpse back.

"Shit-" Eradic curses, "open this!" He tells the other, tapping frantically on the glass. He's seen people do it- it's possible, right?!

Unfortunately this time around the owner of the vehicle he was illegally requisitioning had the worst (best?) timing in the world and exited his place of habitation just as Fuse had gotten the car started. Fucker, of course, called the pigs. The pigs, of course, had the AUDACITY to have been waiting for the light to change at the first intersection he encountered.

Ah, he could almost imagine word-for-word the report over the radio in the few seconds it took for them to switch on their lights and siren. "Black 2025 Audi S6, license plate RCF 5555, reported stolen just a few minutes ago on Finnigan Lane..." … The lane he was turning off of!

Needless to say he floored it. As did the pigs, in pursuit. Luckily it was the dead of night, no one (except troublesome car owners and shitty workaholic cops) would be just out and about and there weren't any pubs in this part of the city so a little speeding wouldn't hurt.

Except when he turned his attention to the mirror for juuust a second -

TW body horror, gore, om nom nom nom | LONG post, oops

The pigs were oinking. Oink, oink oink! Oink oink oink!

The opossum sitting in the metal box with wheels smelled deliciously of panic and... hm, horror? Terror? He'd forgotten the difference. Staring with those big ole eyes... Like a rat, but bigger!

His brother groaning in the back. Smelling of annoyance, frustration... Barely conscious but very much alright. He's totally fine, just a little ouchie.

At the shop, his co-workers latched onto recent murders and missing persons as topics of interest to chit-chat about... When they weren't gossiping about hot bitches or The Big Game or whatever. He couldn't recall them bringing that specific shit up more-so than was usual for a city.

Though that little display of - nervousness? anxiety? general shiftiness? something of the sort - was as blatant as the conversational shift. It got a look of scrutiny from the rat of a skeleton before he shifted attention over to Sir Sniffles and returned the look he was getting with a shrug of a shoulder followed by a pushing his newest abomination's plate forward and within reach.

"Funny joke." His cadence was as dry as Hot Land. "Must be one'a those really fuckin' insular inside ones," he went on, procuring another plate upon which to begin creating more literal food porn, "'Cause I know for shit sure you're too young to be meanin' what I thought no matter how old you claim you are."

Murder, sex, neither of 'em were the domain of…

Well. All right, fine, little shits could be murderous, he knew that full well, but they still had no business being so.

"...Yeah." Eradic looks off, slightly stiff. Decim tilts his head in questioning, murmuring in another language under his breath to which his brother responds back with what sounds like a short hiss.

"I'm not a kid," he grumbles, "and I never said I would take you to a human city," the older devourer replies, tugging Decim back from reaching out towards the potato lump. He's had enough potato for now, "It seems inconsiderate to pull you from one annoying city into another and expect you to pay for it... but I do not know you, and you do not know me. Neither of us trust the other enough to both make a large decision and to help with said decision."

Eradic gives the other a short glance, then pulls his eyes away. He's smelling emotions, yes. But he's not sure what exactly they are. It didn't help that there were so many smells in the air that trying to focus made him dizzier.

"Well, I am sure that my brother has had enough potatoes and... long dogs? For one day," lifting the smaller skeleton up, he throws him over his shoulder like a sack of rice, "So we will be leaving."

Decim squeaks, "Wait what?? No! I can still eat a little more- I barely ate any!!"

Eradic tips his head towards the stall owner. "Thanks for... all of those. I do hope the guards do not catch you." He gestures at the vulgar food sculpture with a free hand while the other lightly held onto a very much thrashing around Decim, seeming quite relaxed and stable despite the intensity of his flailing.

"NOOO ONE MOREEE!!" Decim squeaks, smacking Eradic's back with his fists, to no avail.

"No more. We have to find somewhere decent to stay before the sun sets or the human guards will attempt to cage us for not having guardians." Eradic scolds, moving to carry a whiny Decim away. Expectedly, the other is not quite happy about the decision...

...A guttural growl rumbles from Decim, a sound so low it revertabrated inside the chests of those nearby. Cracks form on his face, pupils turning into slits, and just as it seems he was readying up to do something-

SLAP.

"Yip!" Decim yelps as Eradic smacks him right on the nose, and he whimpers, uncannily similar to a dog. With Decim now cradling his technically nonexistent nose, Eradic was free to speedwalk off.

Speaking of which, these two didn't match any of the descriptions the little dead kid had given him. Still… He was erring on the side of their not being there to cause problems.

Not that he'd be able to really do much if they were there to cause problems. His bro would properly disown him if he caught wind that he'd been engaging in fisticuffs with a couple of kids regardless of the why.

As the politics talk began, and continued, and didn't seem to be stopping, Fuse took the liberty of fetching a new styrofoam plate upon which he began constructing a new obscenity. This time it was a twofer; a couple of bunbears, one of which he took the time to start carving out a hole in its ass while half-listening. He was in the midst of sizing it up to fit the girth of a sausage when he heard Sir Chatty mention eating people, which got him to pause and look up and squint and open his mouth to ask only to snap it shut again as the kid went on.

His unasked question was more-or-less answered when Sir Sniffles rejoined the convo with his timely inquiry. What would've been his next question was also answered just as timely-y. Hypothetical. That was only somewhat reassuring.

"Hypothetically," he repeated, going back to carving out a fitting bunbear asshole into which to insert the other bunbear's to-be sausage dick, "The kind'a life where I'm not workin' at a fucking chop shop and tasked with stealing cars whenever the boss needs some fresh meat." And he seemed rather content, as he fit the bears together on the plate in a display of truly lewd proportions, to leave the kid to figure that sentence out for himself. He leaned back a little to inspect his new creation before he flicked his eyelights up from it and back to Sir Chatty.

Facinating. So an encounter with an outlander, Eradic thinks. Or a traveller of some sort.

Decim does not. He watches as the stranger crafts yet another sculpture, bored of listening to his brother beloved's politics.

"Well that's quite doable." Eradic huffs at the description.. "If you did not mind moving your entire life you could have that this very moment." Though he assumed the other was not actually interested in the idea. He himself wouldn't move so casually, but he has been told he's rather... stubborn compared to most others. He doesn't believe it.

At the question of eating people, the chatty devourer turns quiet. "The cool new trend in town." He jokes dryly, taking Decim by the hand.

Alas, Decim does not remember the smell of his sarcasm no matter how many times he's told him to memorize it.

"It is?" The younger devourer asks, lighting up. "Can we really-" he's abruptly cut off by a hand to his mouth, and squints at Eradic with what seemed like confusion and mild annoyance.

"It's just a joke between us two." He tells the stranger, tounge flicking warily while trying to maintain composure, sniffing for any... dangerous emotions. He didn't think the other would care- not really, he seemed to have too much of his own problems if he had to make a living with a run-down cart- but just in case.

He was, after all, his brother's protector first and foremost. Being careful was better than being dead. Without realizing, Eradic's eyes flit about for escape routes. They're outside, which means lots of directions to flee towards should it be better to run than it is to fight...

Decim, meanwhile, blinks up at Fuse as if to quietly say, 'My brother is weird right?? The heck did I do??'