Sundew_VT

Hai to anyone viewing this blog!~

I'm Sundew, a transfem 🏳️‍⚧️ furry 🐱 from all the way down in South Africa!~

I stream, play games and edit videos!~

Little backstory:

I came out as trans in 2020 and haven't been happier!~ I love all my friends and family who stuck with me through my difficult times during my transition!~ I am yet to get onto HRT as getting HRT is difficult for me in my situation :c I've struggled with Bipolar disorder and take mental health very seriously!~

I used to play club-level cricket back in high school and still enjoy supporting my local teams!~

I've always been a playful person and rarely shun others!~

This is something I've had rolling around in my head for a while now. The slogan of "Order without chaos is oppression" has been a favourite of mine and I sorta blurted it out out of nowhere. It's also time that the Trans community rises up and above any hate and discrimination. You are loved. You are worth it. You are valid.

Hey besties!! Your favorite jet & jade catgirl is clawing her way onto your screens tomorrow~ 🌙💚

⏰ 7PM UTC+2 🔫 Playing: WARFRAME 📍 https://twitch.tv/sundew_vt

Come watch me bullet jump into walls, forget which button does what, and probably spend 20 minutes in the arsenal making my frame look pretty instead of actually doing the mission 😌✨

Expect: chaotic energy, questionable parkour decisions, and the occasional meow~ :3

Drop by and say hai!! Lurkers always welcome, chatters even more so~ Let's hang out and grind some loot together!~ 🎮

I'm standing in my childhood bedroom with a one-way ticket to America in my pocket and I can't stop crying because

she's not coming with me.

We haven't even given each other gifts. Not really. No bracelets or lockets or mixtapes. Just screenshots of our video calls and voice memos I play on repeat. I keep running the numbers. The visa applications. The immigration forms. The "proof of relationship" documents that reduce us to paper when we are so much more than that. We are late night Discord calls where she falls asleep first and I watch her breathe. We are sending each other estrogen schedules like other couples send good morning texts. We are "I saw this meme and thought of you" and "you looked so beautiful in that photo" and "I want to hold your hand while we both get our makeup done."

I want to bring her with me. I want to wake up in some cramped American apartment with her head on my chest. I want to go to the pharmacy together and pick up our prescriptions side by side. I want to introduce her to my new coworkers as my girlfriend, my partner, my future. I want to build a life that isn't measured in time zones.

Instead I'm leaving her behind in a country that knows her name and I'm terrified that America will swallow me whole and I'll forget the exact way she laughs or the specific color of her eyes in sunlight.

But here's the thing. Here's the hope I'm holding in my mouth like a secret:

I'm going to bring her with me. Not in my suitcase. Not on this flight. But I'm going to work every shitty job and fill out every form and save every dollar until I can buy her a ticket too. Until I can stand in the airport with a sign with her name on it. Until I can finally touch her face without a screen between us.

She's worth the distance. She's worth the wait.

I've got 1 week to get $65 together to pay my rent, so if you can spare, please, I'd appreciate any and all help.

If you can spare, use this link to send anything.

To the girl who stole my heart from thousands of miles away,

Happy birthday, my darling. Today marks another year of your existence on this planet, and I'm so grateful that you're here. Even though we're separated by distance, you're always in my thoughts and in my heart.

I close my eyes and imagine what today would be like if we were together. I'd wake up before you, just to watch you sleep peacefully for a few moments. I'd make your favorite breakfast (or at least attempt to without burning the kitchen down). I'd shower you with kisses and presents and tell you how much you mean to me over and over again.

Instead, I'm here sending my love across the digital void, hoping it reaches you with the warmth and intensity I feel.

Every day without you feels like an eternity, but knowing that someday we'll bridge this distance keeps me going. I want to spend every birthday with you for the rest of our lives. I want to grow old with you, to celebrate every milestone, every ordinary Tuesday, every moment that we're blessed to share.

And if I'm being completely honest, my darling, I long for you in ways that words can barely capture. I lust after your touch, your scent, your presence. I crave the feeling of your body against mine, the way your hands explore me, the soft sounds you make when you're lost in pleasure. I dream about nights spent tangled in sheets, about lazy mornings making love until we're both exhausted and blissfully happy.

You are my everything, my beautiful partner, my lover, my future. Until we can be together, please know that every beat of my heart belongs to you.

Happy birthday, my love. May this year bring us closer to the day when distance is nothing but a memory.

As a trans woman, finding someone who understands the journey, who truly gets it, has been everything. And then I found you—another beautiful trans woman who makes me feel seen in ways I never have before. I trace the outline of your face on my screen, memorizing every detail I've only seen through pixels. Your smile, the way your eyes light up when you laugh, the soft curve of your neck that I've only imagined kissing.

God, how I want to kiss you. I want to feel your lips against mine, to taste you for real instead of just in my fantasies. I close my eyes and I can almost feel it—your hands tangled in my hair as I pull you closer, our bodies pressing together, the heat between us building. My skin tingles at the thought of your touch, of how your fingers would feel tracing the lines of my body, learning every curve, every sensitive spot that makes me gasp.

I want to undress you slowly, to worship your body the way it deserves. To kiss every inch of your skin, to feel your heartbeat under my lips. I imagine how you'd look in the soft light of my bedroom, your chest rising and falling with each breath, your eyes dark with desire. The thought alone makes me wet, a throbbing ache starting between my thighs that I can't ignore.

Sometimes when we're on video calls, I catch myself staring at your lips, at your hands, wondering how they'd feel on me. I want to feel your weight on top of me, your legs tangled with mine, our bodies moving together in that rhythm that's both desperate and tender. I want to hear you moan my name, to feel you shudder against me as I bring you pleasure.

I've started saving every penny I can, counting down the days until I can finally buy that plane ticket. Until I can close this distance between us. Until I can turn all these fantasies into reality. Until I can wake up next to you, feel your arms around me, and finally know what it's like to hold you in my arms instead of just holding my phone.

As two trans women navigating this world, we've found something special in each other—a recognition of the journeys we've both been on, the courage it took to become ourselves. I see so much of my own strength reflected in you, and I admire the person you've become.

We haven't met yet, not in person, but that doesn't make what we have any less real. I'm counting down the days until I can see your face in person instead of through a screen. Until I can hold your hand, feel your arms around me, experience the comfort I've been dreaming of.

I'm working extra hours, saving every penny, planning the trip that will finally bring us together. Every day I'm taking steps toward you, toward the moment when distance becomes a memory rather than a reality.

Hey everyone, I'm in a bit of a tight spot and could really use your help as I prepare to make the biggest move of my life!

I'm currently trying to raise $150 to help cover basic food and rent expenses before I make my journey to America to start fresh. This isn't just about money—it's about giving me the stability I need to take this huge step toward building a new life for myself.

Every single dollar helps and brings me closer to my dream of starting over in the States. If you've ever taken a leap of faith toward something new, you know how scary and exciting it can be. I'm ready to work hard and make the most of this opportunity!

If you can spare even a small amount, I'd be incredibly grateful:

Donate here

And if you can't donate right now, sharing this post would mean the world to me! The more eyes that see this, the closer I'll get to my goal.

Thank you for being part of my journey. I promise to pay this forward once I'm settled and thriving in my new home! 💙

And then there's the way her glasses perch on that cute button nose of hers. She looks so intelligent, so put-together even through the pixelated screen, but I know what lies beneath that composed exterior. I imagine what it would be like, the first time we kiss, to feel her glasses press against my cheek, to see them fog up from our shared warmth. A fantasy I replay in my mind until it feels like a memory.

Her skin... gods, her skin is so pale it's almost translucent. Like fine porcelain, with the faintest dusting of pink across her cheeks when she's flustered or excited. I want to trace every freckle, map the constellations of her body with my tongue until she's arching beneath me. But for now, all I can do is imagine how she would feel under my touch, how she would taste. The ache of not knowing is a constant thrum beneath my skin.

I can see the curve of her hips, the subtle swell of her chest, and I'm fighting every instinct not to reach through this screen and show her exactly how much I want her. The distance between us isn't just miles; it's an entire reality we haven't been able to bridge yet.

Sometimes I wonder if she knows how much I yearn for her. How many nights I lie awake imagining the weight of her body against mine, the sound of her breath catching as I explore every inch of her skin for the very first time. How I want to worship her body, make her feel as beautiful and desired as she is in my eyes. How I want to make love to her until we're both breathless and spent, our bodies finally knowing what our souls already do.

She just looked up and caught me staring at the screen. There's a small smile playing on her lips as she pushes her glasses up her nose. Does she know? Can she see the hunger in my eyes even through this digital barrier?