think happy thoughts

I’m kind to people because making people’s lives even just a little bit brighter makes me happy. It gives me a little more purpose. That happiness, and the hope that they carry it with them to the next person, keeps me from despair. It keeps me alive. I have such deep faith in the belief that kindness is contagious that I’m willing to bet everything I am on there being more kind and thoughtful people in the world than evil ones.

called out

please prioritize your own health and happiness even when it is inconvenient for others

Great. Now I’m disappointing Mr. Rogers.

Nah. Mr. Rogers wouldn’t be disappointed. He hopes for the best for us, but he knows life is hard. And he knows you’re doing the best you can. And he’s proud of you for that.

The phrasing here is important, too. “The healthiest life you can possibly have,” frames it as a necessarily subjective standard. I feel like I rarely see this framed in such an open and inclusive manner. “The healthiest life you can possibly have,” is a construction which empowers you to make the best choices for your current needs, not the best choices against an external, objective demand. Making a choice to set different priorities based on your current capacity is very much within that standard. Not sure he meant it that way, but given all we know about Mr. Rogers’ sensitivity to such concerns, I’m betting its no accident.

listen to yourself and watch your language. instead of saying “sorry for ranting”, say “thank you for listening to me”. instead of saying “sorry that i am overemotional”, say “thank you for trying to understand something difficult”. instead of saying “sorry if i am a burden”, say “thank you for the time and energy you invest in our friendship”. good things will come when you realize you are not an apology.

today my therapist told me that a panic attack consumes about the same amount of energy as running a marathon and suddenly my lack of energy doesn’t seem so strange

it’s SO important to take care of yourself after a panic attack! it drains so much energy and many people feel selfish taking time after an attack to care for themselves but it’s so important!!! drink tea and read or take a bath or just go to sleep. let your body and mind relax and recuperate.

Oh

you need to give yourself permission to be happy now. not when you lost weight, not when you found your soulmate, not when you have more money. we seek excitement from future events, but once those goals are met, the temporary pleasures will pass and they will be replaced by the next fantasy. devote your full attention to your inner self and appreciate being in the moment. happiness is never external, but a way of living and appreciating life. it’s not reality, just the way you perceive it. so go and shift your focus from the outcome to watching yourself grow.

a piece of advice my dad gave me and I’ve never forgotten is, “if you won’t worry about it in 4 months, don’t worry about it now.” saved me countless times, it’s a philosophy to adopt and help improve your life. Failed a test? ask yourself if you’ll think about this still in 4 months? Made a fool of yourself in public? I doubt even the people who saw it will remember it past today. Know you could have done better? Ran further? don’t beat yourself up over it, you can do better tomorrow. Don’t overthink things, a lot of negatives matter less than you think they do.

And in 2019 you’re invited to work through my body image curriculum, by yourself or (ideally) with others!