☀️😎

walking back to the dorms, he took heeseung's advice and had texted jay... maybe voicing things would help. as soon as soon as knife (jay's version) started to play he knew who was calling, he picked up and made his way to the closest bench he could find to sit down. It was nice to hear that he didn't just need to spit out what was wrong, that he could just... talk.

Now it felt careful. Not bad. Just fragile.

Heeseung settled into the seat beside Sunoo, shoulders brushing briefly before both of them adjusted naturally into their own space. Not far. Just enough. His gaze drifted toward the window first, watching the city blur past beneath evening lights, but it never stayed there long.

It kept finding Sunoo again. The way he looked down at his hands. The way he kept fidgeting with his fingers. The slight crease between his brows that only showed up when he was thinking too hard.

Heeseung wanted to say something.... A lot of things, actually.

You seem nervous. Are you okay? I missed this. I missed you.

Instead, his eyes flickered briefly toward the front seat. The driver. To everyone else, this was simple. Two friends going to the Han River. Nothing more.

So Heeseung swallowed everything else down. Their knees bumped lightly when the car turned.

His attention stayed forward after that, though every few minutes his eyes still drifted sideways without permission. Sometimes catching Sunoo already looking. Sometimes not.

The city slowly changed outside the window the farther they drove... bright storefronts giving way to wider roads, clusters of people scattered along sidewalks, the glow of streetlights reflecting softly against the river in the distance.

The drive wasn’t long.

It just felt longer with so much sitting quietly between them.

Eventually the car slowed. Then stopped.

Heeseung was out first, stepping onto the pavement before moving automatically toward Sunoo’s side of the car. Old habits.

His hand caught the door before the driver could reach for it. He held it open quietly.... Waiting. Once Sunoo climbed out beside him, Heeseung leaned down slightly toward the open window.

“Thank you,” he said politely.

The driver gave a quick nod before pulling away moments later.

Together, they stood there for a second watching the taillights disappear down the road. And without thinking... without even realizing he was doing it, Heeseung’s hand found the small of Sunoo’s back again.

And every single one made something nervous flutter in his stomach. A few times their eyes met briefly before one of them looked away. Sunoo wasn't entirely sure who looked away first most of those times, probably him.

The gentle bump of their knees when the car turned had caught him off guard enough that he almost smiled. It was such a small thing, but it reminded him of all the times they'd sat beside each other after schedules, too exhausted to care about personal space.

Back when he'd just naturally leaned against Heeseung without thinking, when neither of them questioned it. The rest of the drive passed in that same careful silence. Neither uncomfortable nor easy. Just... waiting.

When the car finally slowed, Sunoo glanced out the window, immediately recognizing where they were. The familiar glow of lights reflecting off the river in the distance made his chest loosen a little. He liked it here, maybe that was why Heeseung picked it - or maybe he was reading too much into everything tonight.

Before he could decide, Heeseung was already out of the car. Sunoo blinked, then reached for the door handle only to realize it was already being opened for him. His eyes lifted immediately. And there was Heeseung, holding the door... waiting. The sight was so stupidly familiar that it almost made him laugh.

A soft smile pulled at his lips as he climbed out. "You know," he started as he straightened up beside him, "most people would've stopped doing that years ago." His tone was teasing, but warm, "You're making it very difficult for me to maintain the image that you've become cold and heartless." The joke lingered between them as he adjusted the sleeve of Heeseung's shirt absentmindedly.

Watching him thank the driver made the smile on Sunoo's face soften further. Some things never changed. No matter how much time passed, no matter how complicated everything became. Heeseung was still Heeseung. The realization settled somewhere warm inside his chest.

The car pulled away a few moments later, taillights disappearing down the road until it was just the two of them standing there. The sounds of the city felt farther away here, softer. the river breeze carried a slight chill with it, enough that Sunoo instinctively tucked his hands into the sleeves of his shirt.

Then he felt it, a familiar pressure against the small of his back... Light and gental - almost automatic.

Sunoo froze for half a second, not because he disliked it - Quite the opposite. His eyes dropped briefly before a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, Heeseung probably didn't even realize he'd done it.

That was the thing about habits - the real ones never needed thinking.

Without saying anything, Sunoo shifted just slightly closer beside him as they started walking, not enough to draw attention to it - just enough.

His shoulder brushed lightly against Heeseung's arm, for the first time since getting in the car, some of the tension he'd been carrying finally eased.

He glanced toward the river ahead of them, watching the lights dance across the water. "It's pretty tonight," he said softly and then after a brief pause, a small laugh escaped him. "I think the last time we came here, you spent twenty minutes trying to get the perfect picture of the skyline."

He looked over at Heeseung, amusement flickering in his eyes. "And then ended up taking fifty pictures of me instead." The memory made him smile. A real one, the kind that reached his eyes making them almost unseen.

Not maliciously. Not even knowingly, probably. But somehow Sunoo still managed to unravel him in all the exact ways he used to without even trying. Like they had figured out a way to work a time machine, and they were back to where they first were. The teasing. The laughter.

It hit harder than it should have.

For a second, Heeseung could only look at him. His eyes capturing the way Sunoo's smile formed, even the way his body positioned itself towards him without realizing it.

The elevator suddenly felt smaller somehow.

His hand lingered against the fabric a moment longer before slowly falling back to his side, though his fingers twitched faintly like they regretted it immediately. His eyes stayed fixed on Sunoo’s face instead, caught there before he could think better of it.

“You're cute,” he murmured quietly. His voice sounding a little wrecked.

And maybe he was.

Because this already felt dangerously familiar.

Not in the painful way things had felt near the end between them…. careful words, tension, conversations that turned into arguments before either of them even realized where they’d gone wrong. This felt older than that. Softer. Like all the parts of them that used to fit together naturally had somehow survived everything anyway.

Then Sunoo complimented him back.

Heeseung let out a quiet laugh at that, smaller this time, his gaze finally breaking away for a second as he rubbed his thumb against the strap of the bag in his hand.

“Yeah?” he asked, trying for casual.

He didn’t sound casual at all.

The corner of his mouth tugged upward anyway, betrayed immediately by the faint color rising across his cheeks. It had been a long time since someone made him feel this aware of himself. Longer still since Sunoo had looked at him like that.

The soft ding of the elevator reaching the lobby finally broke through the moment.

Heeseung exhaled quietly through his nose as the doors slid open, instinctively reaching his hand toward the small of Sunoo’s back to guide him out before he could stop himself. The touch was light, barely there, but familiar enough that it made something in his chest ache all over again.

Outside, the evening air was cooler than expected, city lights reflecting softly against the pavement as people passed by without sparing them more than a glance. Heeseung stayed close automatically as they walked, matching Sunoo’s pace without needing to think about it.

For a few seconds, neither of them spoke. And strangely, it didn’t feel awkward. It just felt like them. Dangerously easy. Heeseung glanced over after a moment, the sight of Sunoo beside him making something warm settle low in his chest again before he could stop it.

The teasing came naturally with Heeseung. Always had. And maybe that was part of what made all of this so dangerous. No matter how messy things became between them, no matter how much time passed or how badly they hurt each other, somehow they always slipped back into this version of themselves. Comfortable. Familiar. Like muscle memory neither of them could unlearn.

Like home. Sunoo missed that more than he liked admitting.

He missed how simple things used to feel before everything became complicated by schedules, exhaustion, miscommunication, and years of feelings neither of them seemed capable of handling correctly. Back when sneaking into each other’s rooms late at night or sharing headphones during long drives felt like enough. Now every little moment between them seemed to carry weight.

“Yeah…” Sunoo looked up at Heeseung again, tilting his head slightly at the tone in his voice. There was something there — something careful, almost hesitant — that made Sunoo’s expression soften into quiet curiosity. A small questioning hum nearly left him, but he stopped himself.

Instead, his gaze drifted downward toward the elevator floor as silence settled between them. Not uncomfortable, just full. The kind of silence where both people were thinking too much at once. Sunoo could practically feel it hanging there between them — the unspoken conversation waiting for later tonight. Bali. Them. Whatever this was becoming again.

His fingers twitched lightly against his sleeves before he tucked his hands behind his back, rocking faintly on his heels while the elevator continued its slow descent. Then the quiet ding of the elevator finally broke through both of their thoughts.

Sunoo glanced up again just as the doors slid open. The feeling of Heeseung’s hand settling against the small of his back made warmth immediately spread through his chest. It was such a familiar gesture that it almost hurt a little. Gentle guidance. Protective without trying too hard, automatic.

Sunoo smiled to himself as they stepped out together, the cool evening air brushing against his skin the second they exited the building.

The city was already glowing softly around them, streetlights reflecting against dark pavement while distant traffic hummed in the background. Sunoo shoved his hands briefly into his sleeves against the slight chill before following Heeseung toward the waiting company car.

The familiar sight of it grounded him again almost instantly.

Right. They were still idols. Still people who had to think carefully about where they went, who saw them, what rumors could start from one blurry photo. The reminder made something in him tighten slightly.

Sunoo slid into the backseat first and moved over automatically, buckling his seatbelt while waiting for Heeseung to climb in beside him. The door shut softly after, muting the sounds of the city outside.

And suddenly the space felt smaller, quieter.

Sunoo folded his hands carefully in his lap, eyes dropping toward his fingers almost immediately. His nailbeds suddenly became incredibly interesting to stare at as he picked lightly at the edge of one nail with his thumb.

He didn’t want to talk too much in the car, not with the driver there. Not with important conversations sitting heavily between them.

So instead, he stayed quiet for a moment, stealing only a small glance toward Heeseung from the corner of his eye before looking back down again. His heartbeat felt louder in the silence, though the warmth from Heeseung sitting beside him somehow eased some of the nervousness curling in his stomach.

Because there was Sunoo.

Warm cheeks, bright smile, Heeseung’s shirt hanging off him like it had never belonged anywhere else.

For a second, Heeseung could only stare.

He noticed it immediately. The shirt.

Something low in his chest tightened before he could stop it, his brain instantly flashing through old memories he hadn’t touched in years… movie nights, lazy mornings, Sunoo stealing clothes straight from his laundry before they were even folded. The fact Sunoo still had it after everything made something dangerously soft settle into Heeseung’s chest.

Then Sunoo was suddenly wrapping himself around him before Heeseung could even say hello properly.

The force of it startled a quiet laugh out of him, automatic and breathless as his free hand instinctively came up to steady him. His fingers curled against Sunoo’s back without thinking, the familiar weight against him making his chest ache harder than he’d prepared for.

God, he missed this.

Not the complicated parts. Not the fights or silences or all the things they never seemed able to say correctly.

Just this. Just Sunoo…. and Sunoo holding onto him like it was still natural.

For a moment, Heeseung let himself lean into it more than he probably should have, eyes closing briefly as the scent of Sunoo’s shampoo and skincare hit him all at once. It felt so familiar that it almost hurt.

The sounds from inside the dorm finally snapped him back enough to laugh quietly under his breath, shaking his head a little as Sunoo pulled away.

“Still loud, huh?” he murmured softly, though there wasn’t much bite behind it when he looked at him. If anything, Heeseung looked a little wrecked already.

His eyes lingered on Sunoo a second too long again before he finally let himself move, letting Sunoo tug him away from the doorway before the members actually did trap him inside. Even hearing them in the background did something strange to his chest… something warm and painful at the same time.

By the time they reached the elevator, Heeseung had just barely convinced himself to act normal again. Then Sunoo looked over at him.

And suddenly he was hyperaware all over again.

His gaze flickered toward the shirt once more before dragging back up to Sunoo’s face, caught for half a second before he cleared his throat quietly.

“Forgot you were a little thief” slipped out before he could stop himself. The words landing softer than he intended.

Immediately, Heeseung rubbed a hand against the back of his neck with a small huff, like he was annoyed at himself for saying it out loud.

At Sunoo’s question, though, his expression softened again.

“I thought we could go to the Han River,” he admitted after a second. “Less crowded around this time in the day.”

A small pause.

"We can walk, get street food. I bought things to make if we're still hungry after… is that okay?" He asked.

Now thinking that he should have thought this through or at the very least ask for Sunoo's opinion when making the plans for this evening. But the Han river never failed. The view was breathtaking, wind always hit perfectly because of the water, and they could properly have a conversation without getting interrupted by other sources.

As he waits, he takes advantage of the closed elevator by reaching over, and let his hand run down the shirt. Like he's making the short excuse to be close to him without being too obvious.

And for a second, standing there in the apartment hallway with Heeseung’s arms around him again, Sunoo let himself soak it all in.

This.

This was what he missed.

Not the fighting. Not the awkward silences stretched over unread messages and pride too stubborn to bend first. Not the exhausting cycle of almost fixing things only for them to crack apart again weeks later.

He missed this.

The warmth of Heeseung pressed against him. The familiar scent of his cologne mixed with shampoo and fabric softener. The way being close to him always made something restless inside Sunoo finally quiet down.

It felt dangerously easy to fall back into it.

When they finally started walking, Sunoo stayed close enough that their shoulders brushed every few steps.

A small laugh escaped him at Heeseung’s comment, and he bumped his shoulder lightly against the older’s in return.

“What? Did you think the whole dorm suddenly became quiet and peaceful without you there?” Sunoo teased. “Be serious. If anything they got louder.”

His smile softened a little after saying it.

There had been an emptiness after Heeseung moved out. Even when the dorm was chaotic and full of noise, Sunoo still noticed the missing pieces. Little habits. Certain laughs. The way Heeseung used to wander into his room unannounced just to steal snacks or bother him for attention.

Sunoo noticed all of it.

At the mention of the shirt, his grin turned more playful.

“I wouldn’t call myself a thief,” he said dramatically, leaning back against the elevator wall once the doors slid shut. “I just… permanently borrowed it.”

He crossed his arms loosely, eyes sparkling with amusement as he looked over at Heeseung.

“You never asked for it back, so really that’s on you.” His lips twitched upward more. “Not my fault it somehow found its way to the very back of my closet and stayed there for years.”

There was something softer hidden underneath the teasing though. Because both of them knew exactly why it had stayed there.

Sunoo ducked his head briefly with a quiet laugh before glancing back up at him.

“Told you I had an idea what to wear after you told me what you liked on me.”

The memory alone made warmth creep up the back of his neck.

He listened carefully while Heeseung explained the plans for the night, and by the end of it a genuine smile had settled onto Sunoo’s face — smaller than his earlier excited grin, but warmer somehow.

“Yeah,” he said softly, “all of that sounds really nice.”

And it did.

Especially the Han River.

Something about ending dates there always felt intimate with Heeseung. Walking side by side beneath the city lights, talking quietly while pretending they weren’t taking blurry secret pictures of each other every five minutes. Sunoo was almost certain those photos still existed somewhere deep in his camera roll — hidden between screenshots and random selfies he never deleted.

There were probably hundreds of Heeseung pictures buried in his phone.

Most of them taken when the older wasn’t paying attention.

Sunoo got pulled from the thought when Heeseung reached over toward him.

Instinctively, his eyes lifted to meet his.

The look on his face softened immediately.

“Thought about tucking it in,” he admitted quietly, fingers brushing lightly against the hem of the oversized shirt. “But… I knew you’d like it better like this.”

His voice came out softer near the end, almost shy despite the teasing from earlier. He bit lightly at the corner of his lip, trying not to look too affected by the way Heeseung was looking at him.

Because that look had always been dangerous.

The elevator lights reflected softly in Heeseung’s eyes, and suddenly Sunoo became very aware again that this wasn’t just some casual outing between friends.

This was them.

Trying again.

Or maybe trying to figure out if they even could.

Still, Sunoo smiled anyway, small and fond as he looked him over properly.

It started with smaller things.... mentally rearranging his schedule, wondering what Sunoo would actually want to eat after traveling all weekend, catching himself staring too long at the snack aisle because he already knew which drinks Sunoo liked without needing to check. The familiarity of it all should’ve felt strange after everything they’d been through, but it didn’t. Taking care of Sunoo had always come naturally to him. Maybe that was part of the problem.

His apartment still barely looked lived in. Even after months of being there, it felt more like a place he stayed than somewhere he belonged. A couch, a television, clothes shoved into drawers instead of properly unpacked. Nothing personal on the walls. No memories. Some nights he’d sit in silence and realize there was nothing in the space that proved Heeseung existed there besides the occasional pair of shoes kicked near the door.

The Enhypen dorm had never been quiet like this.

There had always been noise there. Someone yelling from another room, music playing through thin walls, Sunoo's skincare products everywhere. Life had existed there in a way this apartment never seemed capable of holding.

Sometimes Heeseung still caught himself thinking about his old room like it was waiting for him.

Due to their status, dressing flashy wasn’t really an option. Dark jeans, oversized hoodie, hat... simple enough not to attract attention. Not what he would’ve picked if things were different, but good enough. After settling on clothes, he walked to the convenience store and grabbed a few of Sunoo’s favorite snacks without thinking much of it, alongside ingredients for something easy to cook later.

Careful, he thought afterward, staring at the bag in his kitchen. He’s not moving in.

The thought made him huff quietly under his breath, rubbing a hand over his face before setting everything away anyway.

The next day blurred together after that. Practice. Meetings. Returning home to shower and get dressed before wasting time with a controller in his hands, barely paying attention to the game on-screen. His eyes kept drifting toward the clock instead.

All And somehow, despite spending the entire day trying not to overthink tonight, the moment that hit him the hardest was standing outside the Enhypen dorm again.

His chest tightened before he could stop it.

For a second, he was painfully aware of how long it had been since he’d walked these halls like he still belonged there. A part of him still expected to let himself in without knocking. To hear the members yelling from inside. To see Sunoo somewhere in the background like this was normal.

But it wasn’t normal anymore.

Heeseung adjusted the grip on the bag in his hand before lifting the other to knock against the door, exhaling slowly as he waited.

A second knock came to the door. Perhaps his impatience starting to show. The question kicking in after of what do I do once he opens the door?

Sunoo tried everything — scrolling TikToks without actually watching them, reorganizing the rings on his fingers three separate times, even walking to the kitchen just to grab water he didn’t really want. Every few seconds his eyes flicked back toward the clock or the front door like somehow staring at it hard enough would make six o’clock arrive faster.

And then when the knock finally did come, he almost missed it completely.

His brain had wandered too far into overthinking territory, caught somewhere between what if tonight goes badly and what if it goes too well.

The second knock snapped him out of it.

“I GOT IT!” Sunoo yelled immediately, voice loud enough that the entire dorm probably heard him — and judging by the muffled groans and laughter from down the hallway, they definitely did.

He hurried toward the door before slowing abruptly at the last second. His hand hovered over the handle while he quickly fixed his hair again using the reflection in the dark screen of the apartment tablet mounted near the entrance.

Because if he swung this door open dramatically and it wasn’t Heeseung?

Humiliating.

Taking one quick breath, he opened it.

And there he was.

For a second, everything in Sunoo’s chest seemed to stop all at once.

Heeseung stood there looking unfairly good in the soft hallway lighting, casual but put together in the effortless way he always managed. The sight of him instantly pulled warmth across Sunoo’s face, bright and automatic before he could even think about it.

“Hey!”

The greeting came out louder and happier than intended as Sunoo stepped forward immediately, arms wrapping tightly around Heeseung before the older could even fully say hello back.

The hug was instinctive.

Familiar.

Comforting in a way that made Sunoo’s chest ache a little.

He pressed close without thinking, fingers bunching lightly into the back of Heeseung’s jacket while he breathed in the scent of his cologne mixed with laundry detergent and something that was just him. It hit Sunoo all at once how much he missed this — not just texting or phone calls or accidental touches during schedules, but this kind of closeness. Easy closeness.

It had only been a few days since Bali.

A few days since he last saw him.

But after years of seeing someone almost every single day, even short absences started feeling too long. Especially when everything between them suddenly felt fragile again.

So Sunoo held onto him for an extra second.

Then another.

Long enough that he became vaguely aware of someone inside the dorm making exaggerated gagging noises.

Pulling back slowly, Sunoo looked up at him, his smile softening immediately. The earlier excitement melted into something quieter when their eyes met properly.

“Hi…” he said again, this time softer.

There was something careful in the way he said it. Like he was trying not to show too much all at once.

Before the moment could stretch into awkwardness, Sunoo grabbed lightly at Heeseung’s sleeve and tugged him toward the hallway.

“Come on,” he mumbled, already slipping out the front door, “let’s leave before the rest of the boys convince you to stay.”

Right on cue, voices shouted protests from inside the dorm.

Sunoo rolled his eyes dramatically while pulling the door shut behind them, though the grin on his face gave him away completely. As they started walking down the hallway, he quickly pulled out his phone to send a message to the group chat.

out w hee. dont wait up <3

Almost instantly the chat exploded with teasing replies.

Sunoo shoved the phone back into his pocket before he could read more of them.

The walk toward the elevator felt strangely quiet afterward. Not uncomfortable quiet — just… charged. The kind where both people were aware there was more sitting underneath the surface than either of them knew how to address yet.

Sunoo stole a glance beside him while they waited for the elevator doors to open.

Heeseung really had dressed nicely.

Not overly formal, but enough that it made Sunoo suddenly feel relieved about his own outfit choice. Then another thought hit him almost immediately after.

Did Heeseung notice the shirt?

The realization made his stomach flip nervously.

Before he could overthink himself into silence, Sunoo cleared his throat lightly as they stepped into the elevator together.

“So…” he started, leaning back against the railing while looking over at him with curious eyes, “where are we going?”

A small smile tugged at his lips.

Not just a long day kind of tired... something much deeper. It’s in the way his shoulders sit, the way his hands had been in his hair just seconds ago, the way he tries to smooth it over like it’s nothing. And Heeseung knows exactly why. Seven to six...

The thought alone is enough to make guilt settle low and heavy in his chest. He’s seen the changes... the reworked formations, the adjusted lines, the way everything has to be filled in where he used to be. He knows how much harder they’re working now. Knows he should be in that room, matching their pace, carrying his part of the weight. Instead, he’s standing out here. And they think it was his choice. His jaw tightens just slightly before he forces it to relax, expression smoothing out into something easier to read.

"Hey..." his voice comes out quieter than he expects, a small pause following before he lets out a faint, almost breath-like huff at the compliment. "Thanks..." His eyes flicker over Sunoo again, slower this time, like he’s trying to piece together everything he’s missed and shouldn’t be looking for anymore.

A small laugh escaped Sunoo, quiet but real, drawn out of him by the soft huff of air Heeseung let out. It surprised him, honestly, that something so familiar could still come so easily. “What, you’ve had to have been catching up on sleep, right? It kind of looks like it,” he said, voice gentle, almost teasing but lacking its usual edge. His hand lifted unconsciously to his face, brushing a stray piece of hair out of his eyes, more of a nervous habit than anything else.

For a second, he let himself just look at him. Really look. Not through a screen, not in passing clips or carefully avoided headlines, but right here, right now. Close enough to notice the small changes; the way he carried himself, the subtle differences time and distance had carved into him. Sunoo's gaze dropped before he could linger too long, tracing the floor between them, then slowly lifting back up again.

“Unfortunately…” The word lingered, trailing off into something heavier. There was a pause, filled with everything he didn’t say... isn’t it obvious? hasn’t it been obvious? ... but he swallowed it down, keeping those thoughts tucked safely behind his teeth.