allegedly writing

sometimes it boggles my mind that wolf 359 isn't this huge show with an enormous budget and millions of fans. it should be a cultural staple like the office. they should still be playing reruns on the radio. doug eiffel's birthday should eclipse christmas day and people should get kind of annoyed about it. the actors should be set on royalties for the rest of their lives.

And part of the tragedy is so many almost-moments where you wonder if Clark could have helped him. On the brink of sharing his secret, of speaking openly with Lex, of showing someone believed in him and Lex wasn't defined or doomed to be like his father - on the brink, and then turns aside. Superman's Narrative keeps his secret, and though Clark sees the good in this young Lex he has just enough doubt or hesitation that he doesn't commit to trusting Lex, and Lex can see it. And Lex of Smallville, who does want to help, who wants to be worthy of trust, is pushed further to the end he cannot escape.

[id: art of thaisha lloy, drawn from the chest up. she is depicted against a fiery orange-red background, wearing her black and red strap dress, as well as red makeup and silver jewelry and piercings in her ear, chin, nose, and hair. her hair flows out around her, going out of frame. she looks at the viewer with an intent, intense expression. end id.]

if i'm ever having a good day i just remember that VAL forgot so much of herself she couldn't even recall her own name, but she never forgot that she was unwanted. because how could someone whose existence made a meaningful difference to even one person see herself as less useful alive than dead? how could someone who was ever wanted for herself be bought and sold to be violated and consumed by both gods and men? how could someone who knew what it was to be wanted anywhere call out for a mother who rarely had a kind word or gesture for her to ease her pain and fail to be answered? how could she be satisfied by something as small as a warm drink offered to her by a stranger unless it was the only sincere, unfettered kindness she'd ever known?