Blog formally Known as ImperatrixVini. Just another DA enthusiast, 30s, she/her, probably ND, aspiring writer (as in I aspire to write). Occasional Smut Fairy. Sulkyvalkyrie on Ao3
Come say hi! I love tag games and asks and prompts and general goofiness!
Tell me all about your OCs! No really, I live for that shit.
I FREAKING LOVE PROMPTS! I love the challenge, particularly if the prompt comes with a small word count or an unexpected pairing/situation.
For Non-DA prompts, anything and everything will be considered and any resultant story will be posted here, but I likely will probably not work on them until I finish at least one of my Dragon Age longfics.
For Dragon Age prompts, I’m willing to at least try to write anything featuring anyone except Cullen. I don’t do non-con of any variety by request.
My preferred ships are Anyone/Awkward Friendships, Anders/Anyone Who Makes Him Feel Safe and Alistair/Anyone Who Makes Him Feel Like He Belongs, but I'm a sucker for a rarepair.
I will happily do platonic and/or familial pairings.
if you can give me enough data about them, I will also happily write your Dragon Age OCs having shenanigans, either with each other or with the NPC(s) of your choice.
Favorite characters (in no particular order) are Morrigan, Alistair, Nathaniel Howe, Justice, Anders, Sigrun, Isabela, Karl, Fenris, & Dorian.
I’m the proud author of the only fic tagged Fenris & Avocado. and the only Anders/Architect fic that's in English.
I delightedly participate in ask and tag games, though sometimes extremely belatedly.
Now, the long awaited prompt list:
Selected It's All About the Yearning prompts from @leneemusing
❝ you need someone. let me be that person. let me be what you need. ❞
❝ look, i dunno if i’m the kind of person you need or even want right now. but i’m looking around and i’m the only one who’s here. ❞
❝ i never realized how much i needed you until you were the one person who wasn’t there. ❞
❝ you asked me once, if i would ever take a chance on us…maybe that ship sailed. but. ask me again? sometime— doesn’t have to be today. maybe tomorrow just. ask me again. ❞
❝ i know i can’t protect you from everything, but i wish you’d let me protect you from the things i can control. ❞
❝ i used to have so much faith. maybe not in deities or something but, in the world. the universe. i believed their was a purpose to it all. i’m not sure when i lost that. ❞
❝ have you ever had something…missing? like something just doesn’t feel right inside you but you don’t know what it is. ❞
Selected Shining Armor Prompts from @soulprompts
DIALOGUE PROMPTS
“ why are you so invested in keeping me alive? “
“ that was for saving my life. “
“ it’s alright, they’re gone now… are you alright? hey, look at me; are you hurt at all? “
“ are you insane?! run! “
“ were you preoccupied, or did you just really want a dramatic heroic entrance before you saved my ass? “
“ are you okay? “
“ yeah, yeah, i’m okay… are you okay? “
“ hey! why don’t you try picking on someone your own size! “
“ hurry! take my hand! “
“ get in the car! now! “
“ i’m sorry i was late… are you alright? they didn’t hurt you too badly, did they? “
ACTION PROMPTS
[ FIGHT ]: just as the receiver is about to be attacked, the sender arrives suddenly and begins to physically fight off their assailant.
[ CATCH ]: sender manages to intervene and catch the falling receiver before they fall to their death.
[ SACRIFICE ]: sender sacrifices themselves, either fatally or otherwise, in order to save the receiver’s life.
[ HIDE ]: sender quickly pulls the receiver into a hiding place, hiding them from their pursuers.
[ KILL ]: sender, seeing the receiver in immediate and intentionally fatal danger, intervenes by killing their assailant before they can kill the receiver.
[ INCAPACITATE ]: sender, seeing the receiver in immediate danger, intervenes by knocking out their assailant before they can harm the receiver.
[ AFAR ]: sender, having been watching the receiver’s interactions with a threat from afar, saves them from an impending attack while remaining distant from them.
[ SECRET ]: sender, having been secretly following the receiver, saves their life from an immediate threat while remaining hidden from the receiver.
[ REVEALED ]: sender, having been secretly following the receiver, reveals themselves in the process of saving the receiver’s life from an unexpected threat.
Selected Angst Prompts from @try-a-prompt
I didn’t leave because of them, but they are the reason why I never went back.
I never wanted you.
Stop coming back.
I never loved you.
Is this the end? After everything we’ve been through?
My best is never good enough.
Go ahead. Hit me.
I needed you and you weren’t there.
You can’ even look me in the eyes.
I let people down. It’s what I do.
There is no ‘us’.
Let me finish talking for once.
I just want you to be happy.
You’re ruining my life.
Selected Things You Said prompts from @justanotherrpmemeblog and found via @amee-racle-ofmyown
things you said after you kissed me
things you said when we were on top of the world
things you said after it was over
things you said sitting still
things you said but not out loud
things you said in the backyard at night
things you said while I cried in your arms
things you said I wouldn’t understand
things you said in your sleep
things you said that made me feel real
things you said you’ll never forget
Selected Angst Writing Prompt Starters from @tex-treasures
"We need to talk about us."
"I'm tired of this- I'm tired of running around in circles all the time with you! I'm tired of you."
"I don't think l can do this anymore."
"I just want you to stop."
"Nothing you say is going to change my mind."
"What do you mean you're done?"
"I thought you said we had something worth fighting for- was that just another lie too?"
"I don't want to see you again."
Selected Basic OT3 Prompts from joestynes
A coming home to find their two favorite persons cuddled up and sleeping in the bed, and smiles genuinely
A is the only one of them with a decent impulse control, but surprisingly B and C are capable of keeping eachother in control at least enough to set nothing on fire too quickly
A and B plot together to spoil C, who is very easily flustered
A and B lay in bed casually, and C let themselves fall across them
A gets hurt on mission/adventure/fight whatever, and B is the grumpy type of worried, while C is the caring and soft type of worried.
“Yeah, that’s my partner over there. Oh, and right there is my other partner. I am so lucky to have them, actually.”
A needs some reassurance and goes to B for cuddles, and C is surprisingly awake too, and joins for the cuddles and domestic fluff
They all have different drinks in the morning, and all of them know by heart what and how the others like to drink theirs (for example coffee, tea and energy drink, coffee with milk, tea with a tiny bit sugar, and a very specific brand and sort of energy drink)
Selected Best Friends to Lovers Prompts from @screnwriter
sharing clothes, we’re just that comfortable with each other
accidentally blurting out “i love you” during a conversation
“i’ll kiss you right now to prove i don’t feel anything for you” but the kiss proves the exact opposite
hiding your feelings, not wanting to ruin the friendship, even going as far as avoiding each other completely, yet always ending up sharing an intimate moment
the first kiss and the realization of “it’s always been you”
starting to see each other in a different light
i’m watching you date all these other people and i don’t know what it is i’m feeling but it’s definitely not jealousy
that “oh shit” moment when the realization hits you
the “date” that isn’t really a date but feels like one
showing up at each other’s house late at night
hearing your best friend say you’re nothing more than friends, dying a little on the inside because you wish it was more than that
family and friends constantly pointing out how compatible you are with each other
Selected Hidden Injury Dialogue from @whumpyourenemy
'Whose blood is that?'
'You're burning up'
'You can barely keep your eyes open.. When was the last time you slept?'
'Take off your shirt. Don't give me that look'
'What was that? You winced.'
'You've got to do better than that if you want to fool me'
'Walk then. Come on, walk towards me. I bet you can't even take a step'
'I know you're hurt. And I'm tired of waiting for you to bring it up'
'I knew it, you're sick.' 'Go away'
'I'm fine'
'Don't give me that bullshit'
'I just need to rest'
'How could you let it get this bad?'
'I'm no use to you, injured' 'You're even less use if you're dead'
Selected “Settling Dust” Prompts from @soulprompts
DIALOGUE PROMPTS.
“ oh! oh, thank god! i thought we lost you… “
“ hey, hey… look at me, okay? you gotta get up now. you think you might be able to walk? ‘cause they sent for back-up, and if they find us… we cannot let them find us. understand? “
“ go, go! save yourself! i’ll buy you some time! “
“ we both know i’m not walking out of this one. it’s okay, alright? it’s okay… just… do me a favor, will you? will you make them pay for this? i don’t care how. but… don’t let them get away with it. “
“ hey, how badly are you hurt? can you move? you think you can walk? “
“ what the hell are you doing here?! i told you to get out of here! “
“ will you quit talking like that?! i’m not leaving you behind! “
“ i’ll get blood on your shirt… “
“ hey, don’t you dare close your eyes, you hear me? you die in my arms, and i’m gonna stick the dry-cleaning bill for this shirt in your coffin, that’s a promise! “
“ i know we almost died just now, but… am i the only one who’s hungry? “
“ hey, come on now… you’re okay. you’re good, right? “
“ i must be hurt pretty bad if you’re being this nice to me. “
“ quit playing the martyr. we’re not leaving you behind. “
“ can’t sleep, huh? it’s okay. it’s probably all that adrenaline and shock; i can’t sleep, either. wanna keep each other company? “
“ i don’t give two shits about the back-up; i’m just happy you’re alive. “
ACTION PROMPTS.
[ TILT ]: the sender gently tilts the receiver’s chin up so that they can check to see if they’re okay.
[ PULL ]: sender takes the fallen receiver’s hands and carefully pulls them up so that they’re standing once more.
[ HAIR ]: while in the process of checking the receiver for injuries or other signs of harm, the sender gently brushes several strands of hair from their eyes.
[ SUPPORT ]: the sender encourages the wounded receiver to lean against them for physical support.
[ PUSH ]: the sender gently pushes the receiver back to lie down so they can check them properly for injuries.
[ COAT ]: sender removes their jacket and drapes it around the shoulders of the trembling receiver.
[ AWAKE ]: the sender, unable to sleep, gets up to go for a walk, and finds that the receiver is also unable to sleep.
[ TOGETHER ]: when the receiver awakens, they discover that the sender has been sleeping next to them, arms wrapped around one another for warmth, comfort, protection
[ CLEAN ]: the sender gently and carefully begins to bathe the blood/soot/ash/dirt from the receiver’s skin during a moment of calm.
[ PRIORITY ]: when they arrive at a designated safe place, the sender refuses to be examined or cared for until the receiver is taken care of first.
Selected prompts for writing connection, intimacy, and belonging from @creativepromptsforwriting
HAND-HOLDING
calloused hands in soft hands
cold hands in warm hands
hands with the perfect ratio to each other for hand-holding
platonic hand-holding
running their thumb over the other’s hand
squeezing hand for comfort and encouragement
happily doing everything with just one hand, if it means they don’t have to let go
holding hands across the table
not wanting to lose each other in a big crowd
grabbing hand to show them something
loosely holding onto each other’s hands, laying in one’s lap
only linking the pinkies together, not ready to let go completely
playing with each other’s fingers
pressing the other’s hand against their cheek
holding hands while one is balancing on a small wall
grabbing the other’s hand to pull them back from something
holding hands under the table
only realizing it when they have to let go
standing in front of each other, holding both their hands
holding their hands above their head, fingers linked together
HUGS
friendly hugs
hug around the waist
hugging while twirling around
comforting hugs
side hugs
hugging and gently holding the other’s head
pulling someone into a hug
hugging while walking
eye-to-eye hugs
clinging to each other
TOUCHING
touching foreheads
running fingers through hair
hiding face in neck
caressing the other’s hand
feeling their pulse
patting the other’s head
holding hands
listening to the other’s heartbeat
shielding the other one with their body
spooning at night
Selected Enemies to Lovers Prompts from screnwriter-old-deactivated2021, but found through @danni-the-puff
your enemy has been badly wounded, and somebody needs to bandage them up, so you agree to help them, and suddenly they're shirtless, and you can't help but admire their body, something this cheeky motherfucker takes notice of
there's only one bed, but this time, they're arguing over who should sleep on the floor, which nobody agrees to, so instead they end up sharing, incredibly annoyed over having to share their space (it’s not like friends to lovers, in which they both awkwardly get into bed. this is straight up just. i will set this bed on fire if you don’t stay on your side)
you snatch a knife from your enemy's grip and throws it at the ground, then you grab your enemy by the collar, and crash your lips against theirs. they're surprised, but responds immediately
you're upset one night, and you don't know where to go, so you end up at your enemy's house, and as they open the door, you stay silent for a second, before saying (with tears in your eyes) ''i don't know where else to go.'' your enemy doesn't say anything. instead they pull you into their arms, giving you a shoulder to cry on.
you threaten your enemy, and when they close the distance between you, you realize how attracted you truly are to them
jumping into bed with your enemy to ''blow off some steam'' or to ''resolve sexual tension.'' you promise each other it's meaningless, but the next night, it happens again
wrestling your enemy to the ground when they threaten you, holding a knife to their throat ''touch me if you dare.'' ''is that a challenge?''
''you're not going to kill me.'' ''don't be so sure about that.'' ''if you wanted me dead, i'd already be six feet under.''
your enemy keeps on smiling when you've got them pinned down, and seem to enjoy having a knife against their throat ''are you getting off on this?'' ''i quite enjoy the view.''
you've been wounded, your face is all bruised up, your enemy puts a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes to theirs, asking: ''who did this to you?'' when you don't answer, they ask again ''who did this to you?''
you and your enemy hug each other, it's completely accidental, and neither of you know why it happened, and it's like,,, you glare at each other, with an expression of ''let's never speak of this again'´
avoiding each other for weeks after sharing an intimate moment, be it a kiss, a hug, holding hands, or just looking at each other's lips
your enemy says ''slap me.'' you slap them, no hesitation. your enemy's like ?????
Selected Random Dialogue Prompts from @rpclefairy
❛ close your eyes and hold out your hands. ❜
❛ what are you smiling at? ❜
❛ i can't leave you alone for one minute, can i? ❜
❛ was it you? did you do all this? ❜
❛ i don't know how you do this every day... ❜
❛ i'm not sorry. ❜
❛ i did warn you not to trust me. ❜
❛ do you remember anything? at all? ❜
❛ you're lucky you're cute. ❜
❛ why don't you just kill me? ❜
❛ did you hurt yourself? ❜
❛ i don't feel so good. ❜
❛ you owe me a dinner. a very nice dinner. ❜
Selected Oblivious Idiots in Love from @screnwriter-deactivated20220724 but found via @plisuu
❛ close your eyes and hold out your hands. ❜
“ you really don’t see it, do you? “
“ if there’s nothing going on there, you don’t mind if i ask [her] out, do you? “
“ you flat out just admitted you have feelings for me. “
“ i think i’m falling in love with you. “
“ is that really all [she] is to you? “
“ [he] kissed you? “ it was more of a peck... “
“ [she’s] just a friend? “
“ you’re so full of shit. “
“ come on, you’re in love with [her]. “
“ doesn’t take an idiot to figure it out. “ “ are you calling me an idiot? “
“ i’ve been wanting to kiss you for a while. “
“ so you kissed [him], and then you... “ “ ran away. i mean... “
if something else strikes your fancy, send it in, and I'll do my damnedest to give it a whirl 💜
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i’ve seen a lot of fandom negativity lately so i think i’m going to start posting character positive stuff and since i’ve been in a fenris mood lately i’ll start there so here are some awesome things about my fave glowing elf:
fenris is incredibly intelligent and diplomatic. he speaks three different languages and effortlessly negotiates with the qunari—the arishok even compliments him.
oh and he does all that and he can’t even read or write yet like??? fenris is hella smart.
he’s actually pretty chill and polite most of the time until someone pushes his buttons. which is pretty much true for most people.
he’s not afraid to admit when he’s wrong. in fact when hawke offers orana a job and fenris misunderstands this as hawke taking orana on as a slave, fenris apologizes when hawke clears up the matter.
he also hosts card games at his house and enjoys hanging out with aveline’s husband, donnic.
oh and he’s really damn good at wicked grace—so much so that anders owes him a lot of money according to the legacy dlc.
he’s bitty and he can carry a really big sword.
he’s voiced by gideon emery.
fenris is extremely affectionate with a romanced hawke??? and extremely open by the end game. hawke is everything to him and it’s so awesome to see fenris unguarded around someone he cares about.
oh and hawke might be smooth but fenris can be too—remember the “perhaps i’ll practice my flattery for your next visit” line? get it.
and then he pulls the “there are no puppy eyes” line when merrill points out how he looks at hawke.
speaking of the fenrismance, one thing i really like is that fenris knows when to step out and work on himself before he lets his relationship with hawke go any further. i know he later says he was “running away” but i think it’s admirable that he knows when he’s not emotionally ready to commit to something like that.
fenris’s romance is great because it doesn’t fall into the “love cures all” trope. he tries to cope with his trauma realistically and he’s never suddenly cured because he’s in a relationship with hawke. in a friendmance hawke stands by him and his decisions and his entire romance is about respect and unconditional support and i love that.
one of the best things about his personal arc is even when fenris seeks revenge on the people who have hurt him, you can wholeheartedly support him. there are way too many stories that demonize people for seeking revenge on their abusers, and i like that hawke has the option to stand by him.
fenris’s laugh + cough combo when hawke tells a bad joke.
he’s just as witty as purple hawke:
Fenris: How is it you get into these situations so often?
Hawke: What do you mean?
Fenris: Hmm. Attacked by dwarves, approached by strangers, stumbling upon ancient riddles… madness.
(If Hawke has a humorous/charming personality)
Hawke: It’s a gift.
Fenris: (laughs) Well I think you should return it.
despite the fact he’s not a fan of mages, he does get along with a mage!hawke and bethany. in fact he even compliments her:
Fenris: You should wear one of those Orlesian dresses, Bethany.
Bethany: Why? Because I’m a girl? Because I should wear big, flowing skirts?
Fenris: Because you’d look pretty in one.
Bethany: I…oh, I see. They are pretty, aren’t they?
speaking of bethany, he’s actually incredibly kind to her:
Fenris: You must hate the darkspawn, after what they did to your home.
Bethany: And Carver. A little.
Fenris: I never knew him. I’m sorry for your loss.
Bethany: Thank you.
speaking of friendships, his banter with varric is pretty awesome too:
Fenris: I thought all dwarves had beards. Where’s yours?
Varric: I misplaced it, along with my sense of dwarven pride and my gold-plated noble caste pin.
Fenris: I thought maybe it fell onto your chest.
Varric: Oh-ho! The broody elf tells a joke!
Varric: You know, if you need advice on how to lay low I can give you some.
Fenris: Being short would make for an excellent start, I suspect.
Varric: Keep that up, serah, and you can keep on hiding like a rank amateur.
Varric: So what do you do in that gigantic house all day?
Fenris: Dance, of course.
Varric: Really?
Fenris: I run from room to room, choreographing routines.
Varric: You’re actually joking. Alert the Chantry! They need to put this on the calendar!
Fenris: And you thought I was always serious.
his friendship with isabela is pretty great, especially when he offers to let her guess the color of his underwear.
speaking of bela it’s great that while they are friends and sometimes they don’t see eye to eye on mages being free, they challenge each other but it doesn’t affect their friendship at all.
he’s on good enough terms with aveline that she keeps him informed and keeps her patrols away from his house so that he has a place to stay.
after the events of DA2 fenris dedicates himself to fighting off slavers and freeing slaves. he could have easily enjoyed his freedom but it’s amazing that he uses it to help others.
As more and more people are being forced to switch to Windows 11, Microsoft's most AI-malware-ridden OS yet, I've been putting together articles and links for how to undo the damage and save your battery, your RAM, your disk space, your privacy, and your sanity from this bullshit.
FIRST:
The easiest way to get rid of the majority of the bullshit that Windows is forcing on us, as of October 2025, is this one-stop-one-click debloat solution from a modern day hero:
A simple, lightweight PowerShell script to remove pre-installed apps, disable telemetry, as well as perform various other changes to customi
It's very easy, even if you're not tech savvy or get scared of pop up windows saying "ARE YOU SURE?" Yes, you are sure, I promise. This program takes maybe two minutes and will save you SO MUCH pain, time, and money (and exploitation).
Now that you've done that, here's the cleanup, to catch the little shit that the debloat might have missed (most of this will already be done by debloat, but hey, it's good to double check).
Microsoft wants to put AI everywhere on your PC, but you can take back control.
Even just reading about some of these features makes me angry. Fucking Copilot and "Discover" AI scrapers are in Notepad. NOTEPAD. And then there's this uncanny valley garbage:
No uncanny valley video calls for me, thanks! (Also, what else is it doing while it scans your face and listens to your calls? What else, microsoft? Because there was a lot of memory being assigned to this program for a simple "smooths your skin" add on).
Tired of Microsoft pushing ads throughout Windows 11? Here are the settings you can tweak to turn them off and reclaim some privacy.
The truly insane number of places they have stuck ads on your own home computer is sickening. Become Unmarketable.
Bonus:
Some background programs you probably don't need that are taking up space and how to remove them (Microsoft forums, 2024)
Your Samsung Galaxy Phone comes with 22 apps you don't need (Android Police, 2025)
How to disable the AI in firefox (still the only browser that lets you do this permanently) (Windows Report, 2025)
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i think its funny how if you imagine something scary enough your brain starts treating it like its real and out to get you. its really cool and not annoying at all
I don't know if it's just me being in small fandoms, but fandom as a whole feels...really lonely as of late. People have split themselves up so much that they don't discuss things the way they did before, they just kind of post their stuff and leave and half their audience "consumes" it like "content". There's no comments, barely kudos, the only places fans talk with each other anymore are on private discord servers that no one ever finds out about...I don't know, I'm a bit of an old and I feel like I'm screaming out into the void for no reason at this point. Sure, "somebody" will like my stuff, but will I ever get to know about it?
I think about this kind of thing a lot, anon, and I think my generation (Gen X/xillennial) kind of did folks dirty a bit.
In our defense, we didn't know we were.
I'm an educator by profession, as well as on this hobby blog, and so I spend a lot of time thinking about how people learn things. A lot of learning is social, and a lot of it happens when parents teach their children.
When I was growing up, pre-internet, my parents taught me how to talk to other adults in our community, how to play with other children, how to order food in a restaurant, how to call a business and ask a question. They literally walked me through how to do all of that stuff and more because those were daily skills in the world at that time.
We've spent the last 20+ years talking about how kids today are "digital natives" - but have we spent enough time teaching kids how to keep a conversation going when you're not in the same room as the other person? How to leave a comment on a post by a person you don't know? How to show your appreciation to a content creator? What a content creator even is and how that differs from a fan creator?
I know there are a lot of jokes out there about different things that would kill a Victorian child, but I think what would actually be difficult for them would be the lack of rules and instructions that kids today receive from the adults in their lives.
I don't have kids myself, so maybe this is all just bullshit and I'm talking directly out of my ass. But a LOT of the time when I notice someone doing something 'wrong' it's because no one ever told them how to do it right.
I kind of suspect that might be part of what's happening in fandom these days. Combine the above with the fact that fandom got inundated with new members in 2020 during quarantine and lock downs, and it's not surprising to me that a large percentage of the people in fandom today don't approach things the way that we used to before.
i don't fault them for it. When fandom was smaller and the internet was new, we used to take the time to bring people in. But now, it feels like 'everyone knows XYZ' so why does it need to be taught? And with how fast things move, it's more rare for newcomers to lurk for a while before they dive into everything.
This is a very long answer to a problem that probably just needed a listening ear, but I hope what you take away from this is an understanding that you're not the only one who feels the difference. I see this same experience shared in the notes on my posts all the time.
There is no easy fix for the situation and it certainly won't be fast to change, but maybe if we mentor a bit more when we have the spoons to, we can shift the culture a bit? One fan at a time?
If you managed to get all the way to the end of this, do yourself a favour and leave a comment on a fic or reblog a post with some chatty tags. DM somemeone or tag them or send them an ask just to let them know you see them and you think they're cool.
Even if nothing happens as a result, you tried. And maybe you just made someone's day. 💗
Demographically, I have a fair amount in common with @ao3commentoftheday with the exception that I am a parent.
And my oldest child has entered online fandom.
Thankfully, my child and I don’t share fandoms (we both prefer it that way), but we did sit down to discuss how to maintain privacy and safety while also being friendly in online interactions. I taught my child about fandom red flags and green flags, from my experiences, and my child has since asked for my advice in terms of my child’s own fandom experiences and how to handle issues and concerns.
All that being said, I was surprised and confused when my child informed me that my child had not been leaving kudos or comments on AO3. Keep in mind, this child would read longfics for days, tell me how great the author’s writing captured the characters, etc.
“Why didn’t you kudos or comment if the fic was so good?” I asked.
While my child explained lack of ability to comment due to fic restrictions (my child has expressed not yet feeling ready to have an AO3 account even though my child is old enough and my husband and I would be fine with it), my child said kudos didn’t matter: “Who cares about one kudos?”
“The author cares. And, if the author for some reason doesn’t care, I know you care about doing the right thing. I think expressing appreciation for other people’s fanwork is the right thing to do. What do you think?”
My child went back and kudosed all stories read to that point.
But I’m just one parent. And it’s absolutely not the job of fandom to parent children. There’s an idea that the way we behave in real life is divorced from the way we behave online. There’s some merit to that in the form of maintaining privacy and boundaries online that might be different in person. When we’re talking about basic manners, though? Golden rule stuff? That’s what’s become lacking, and I hope it improves.
i do think that a lot of this is just the result of a lack of lurk moar attitude in fandom/the internet in general.
when i was a tween who first found fandom in the late 90s/early 2000s, people didn't explicitly teach me how to interact with fandom. i lurked for a solid year before i signed up for my own account on the forum i'd found. (i can still remember how the adrenaline coursed through me as i signed up for my own account--i felt tingy and more than a little ill!)
by that time, i had a very good sense of social norms there. i still made a few mistakes, and the more established members smacked me down in a matter-of-fact but not unkind way. but i'd learned by watching. hell, by the time i started actively participating, i knew all the inside jokes!
as op mentioned, i don't think that people lurk anymore, and my theory is that the rise of social media/web 2.0 created a different approach to web communities.
today, every site is presumed to be for every person. the entire point of the really big social media sites is that everyone is on them. (this is one of the things i hate about them btw because it results in context collapse. i do not want to talk to my third-grade teacher, my favorite cousin, complete strangers, and my fandom friends in the same voice, but that's another issue).
whereas in web 1.0, the internet was riddled with niche sites/communities. you had to go out and find your place (and sometimes it took a while!). once you found it, you were invested in becoming a part of that specific community, so you did the research (lurking) to find out how people interacted, what all the unspoken norms were. by the time you picked your handle and made your account, you just knew stuff.
i'm sure this was not true of everyone, but it was true of far more people at the time. people looked before they leapt.
there are many, many reasons that i think that fandom has suffered from the web 2.0 environment. the fact that creators/writers/actors and fans are all on the same sites using the same tags for general publicity and for fannish nonsense is a huge problem. the way that sites are so big that people feel that their contributions (as with kudos above) don't matter is a direct result of the way social media undermines community and makes everything a performance of whatever your late-capitalist brand is. the fast pace of those sites makes people think that interacting with older posts is a bad idea. the lack of filters of the kind that we had on livejournal where you could determine who saw what or even just the way that forums often made you join before you could see content created walls within which communities could grow (think frost and walls making good neighbors).
i know we can't go back to the assumptions that operated before social media. we have to explore other options. i love when people make psas here telling people about fandom norms and history! i think it's the best thing! and maybe at this point that is the only way to handle it.
tumblr and ao3 are very weird sites in that they straddle the web 1.0 and web 2.0 kinds of internet.
from web 1.0 they get the lack of algorithms, the way you have to make choices about what you see, chronological arrangements, and (on ao3) lack of ads, etc. tumblr has a slightly slower pace than most social media; ao3 has a much slower one.
from web 2.0, though, you get scale, centralization (which is both ao3's greatest strength and greatest weakness), and the fact that it takes little effort to locate these sites--anyone, no matter their level of investment in fandom, can just stumble on them.
so you end up having a lot of people who are not actually fannishly inclined (aren't invested in a gift economy, don't really understand that fandom is supposed to be fun, don't really get the creative urge etc.) interacting with people who are fannishly inclined, and it causes some really problems. especially with younger people whose experience of the internet is as a venue to signify and perform certain kinds of morality/coolness/trendiness that are at odds with what fandom has always been about. basically: you have a bunch of normies clashing with a bunch of nerds. (obviously the normie/nerd divide is a spectrum and not a binary, so i'm overstating, but still.)
when you have people who are coming to fandom from different angles--some people who are coming to it as a provider of content just like all other media in their lives, especially elsewhere online; some people who are coming to it as a participatory hobby wherein we build community around shared affection for [thing]--there's going to be lots of clashes and weirdness.
i kind of think that fans need to go back to create set-apart spaces for fandom to happen. note that i am NOT talking about gatekeeping. everyone who treats others with respect would be welcome. but just having fenced-off areas that are explicitly for certain kinds of fandom interactions. where we can basically have our party away from the normies, but other nerds who are younger or just getting in touch with their nerdiness can find us.
i'm not sure how we'd go about doing it. but i think smaller, more intimate internet spaces are really necessary for fandom to be enjoyable. for fandom to be fandom tbh.
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casual reminder that this museum has their entire collection digitized and available free for public use: https://art.thewalters.org/ and they have armor/weapons there
Beautiful big almond eye, realistic and full of expression as she gazes gently at you. Elbowed antennae and delicately segmented legs and body. Gorgeous pearlescent sheen like she is glowing. This ant moisturizes. This ant is round and huggable. This ant is a star. 11/10.
Beautifully detailed, lifelike pose but with an unexpected neck and odd antennae, perhaps scared straight. Her eyes suggest she has seen things. Her expression confirms she has seen too much. She is haunted and I want to know more. 7/10.
Floppy antenna, pointy muppet face, oddly posed legs. What is she? She has no waist. May be she is some kind of bee in disguise? I find her unsettling. 3/10.
This ant has an unexplained, double-jointed thorax, and no evidence of a waist. Her four-footed pose suggests that she a centaur rather than an ant. Centaur ants would be cool. I’m not sure what was intended here. 2/10.
Good first impression, kind of bland in the details. This ant has no particular waist to speak of, floppy rather than elbowed antennae, and an inexpressive face. Her color scheme is soft and hazy. I like the sharp angles of her stylishly sophisticated legs. This ant may not know quite were she is going, but she knows how she is getting there. 6/10.
Were you even trying. 0/10
Gasp! This ant is elegant. This ant has a beautiful tapered thorax, a segmented abdomen, alert, elbowed antennae, and a light-footed pose. This ant’s face suggests curiosity and a desire to explore the world. This ant inspires me. I want to be like her. 10/10
3-legged, waistless centaur-ant with strange, limp antennae and a beak. I don’t know what this is? It kind of reminds me of a Hork-Bajir. 1/10, not an ant.
This ant… makes me sad. All of her legs are broken. The MS Paint art style and gradient abuse convey distress. She has a duck beak. Despite this, her expression suggests perseverance and determined cheerfulness. I want this ant to have a better life. I am rooting for her. 3/10
This ant is a bold and challenging mixture of photorealism and caricature. She is broad and low-built and seems very sturdy. She looks like she would help you move. This ant is a dependable friend. 9/10
A picture of an ant from a children’s book. She is wearing little boots. This ant is wrong in every way, and yet I can’t stay mad at her. 7/10
An interesting, top-down view of an ant; her legs are positioned with slightly jarring symmetry. Nevertheless, her overall impression is that of a graceful, stylized design, like a pictograph. She is suitable for adorning fine garments and jewelry or perhaps gracing the walls of a tiny ant church. I like this minimalist ant. 8/10.
Alates (male and female reproductives) have wings. The queens shed their wings after they mate. The males die. The daughter workers do not have wings. If you see an ant without wings, it’s a she.
And honestly—why bother panicking about things being called “she”? It’s not like I need a reason to gender a bug. I do it all the time. It’s fun. It’s humanizing. They don’t care.
I’m calling this spider she right now. 🕷️ her name is delanie. she’s a lesbian.
One under-appreciated breed of fic writer are the ones who hyperfocus on logistics to the exclusion of all canon shortcuts, and thus usually strike upon an awesome way to flesh out the worldbuilding or characters.
Like, I’m not necessarily talking realism here since often it’s still pretty far from realistic, but more like, “someone has to be running spies in this fantasy kingdom, and we’ve seen the whole royal court, so which background character is it? How does that change these three major interactions?” Or “real life historical nobility did in fact have some things to do that were like jobs, how does this human disaster cope with running an estate?” Or “there’s no reason for a sci-fi robot detective to know how to whitewater kayak, where’d she learn?” Or “if this guy is serving the emperor directly he has to be way high up in the space empire servant hierarchy, why is he doing this menial task for someone else? What’s his motive? Does he perhaps have the secret space telepathy?”
Anyway I’m always DELIGHTED to find a fic or writer who asks these questions because the fics themselves are universally bangers.
the weirdest/coolest part is that it is genuinely not flirting, and barely feels sexualized as a social interaction at all. it's like seeing your friend's favorite pastry on sale and grabbing one for them, but somehow even less of an overture
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