Dead Inside

me : who me? i'm AMAZING :) never been better?!? why wouldn't i be? :) i'm always here for you!

me, outside: fine!!:):):) y'all I'm fine:) good:) GREAT:)

suicidescallingme

i'm having a rant oops what sucks is i live near one of the busiest roads in the surrounding area and i could easily walk to a bridge that's less than 2 minutes from me and jump off? it's so easy. i went to school yesterday and told my teacher i thought i might kill myself so finally i can feel safe at school. which is why i'm scared that we have a week off because it's the only place that i feel safe. i'm not allowed to leave my lessons because our school is very open and people can simply walk in and out as they please which isn't good for me. i also have to meet with my teacher at break and lunchtime so she knows i haven't gone off. (i was late seeing her today and she rushed and came found me and she legit was about to cry she told me her heart was having a meltdown because she hadn't seen me and with me feeling awful for that, the positive is that she cares so much. when she was speaking to my mother yesterday they both were almost crying and something about that was very heartwarming). so yeah, now i don't have to check in with anyone over this holiday i'm scared because i know i won't feel safe so if anyone has any tips i really would appreciate it, thank you if you read this. <3