Talk Sugar To Me

Organized my sugar hustle

Sugar wishlist of luxury items

Daily sugar checklist of things to accomplish

Sugar goals: long term goals (xx amount in savings account, emergency funds, ect accompanied by rewards when said goals are met… Louboutins, new dress, manicure, ect)

Sugar profile inspirations

Spreadsheet of promising POTs I will contact in the future if I am ever hit a plateau

Spreadsheet of allowances and gifts I’ve been given by POTs and SDs

Google tips: checklist of things to search before meeting a POT, guide on how to Google efficiently

Necol’s guide on Craigslist ads

First, note that the SD was straightforward and direct about what he had in mind, without the creepy innuendo, juvenile double entendres or explicit detail so many men seemed compelled to employ.  That is the way it should be approached.  The structure of an “arrangement” is not complicated, after all; we all know what it entails:  the SB provides companionship (in whatever form agreed to by the parties) and the SD provides financial consideration for said companionship.  Voila!  Simple! He didn’t “dance” around the subject and communicated exactly what he wanted.

But the real kudos go to @spoiledspice because she deftly handled his opening move.  Like him, she was direct, first, by acknowledging that he was going to “get what he wanted”, but then, second, moving to what she wanted. She did this in a way that flattered him (“I have the utmost respect for a man who is forthright in his desires”) and she also took the opportunity to “lighten the mood” by including her preference for white wine (nice!).  But, in between those two bookends, she got right down to the point so that there would be no misunderstandings (“Would you be comfortable with starting an allowance on the 19th in that case?”). Perfectly done!  Gracefully done!  

His response confirmed the financial end of the arrangement, thus completing the “dance” with an artful “finishing move”.  

The allowance talk does not have to be a drama and anxiety-infused tumble full of discordant melodies and steps!  When both people are mature, open and have “good intentions” it is actually quite easy to pull off!  

Here some questions I personally ask on the first date and I hope this helps for the people who are just joining the bowl.

1. What made you join __________?

2. Have you done something like this before?

If the answer is yes, ask, “Would you like to try again if the opportunity allowed you do so?” If the answer is no, ask “Would you be willing to try something that’s potentially out of your comfort zone?”

3. If you can travel anywhere in the world for a week, where would you go and why? (Men love this question)

4. What exactly are your expectations out of this arrangement and what can the lady expect?

5. Would you be opposed to exploring a long term relationship if it lead to that?

6. Are you opposed to giving me an allowance? If so, did you already have an amount in mind when you thought about looking for a sugar baby?

7. When are you looking to start the arrangement?

8. How do you envision this arrangement?

9. Do you see yourself as a Sugar Daddy or a Mentor?

Bonus:

I am definitely not opposed to a long term relationship. Looks like you and I share common interests. I am looking for a gentleman who isn’t opposed to exposing me to the finer things in life as well as to invest in my future endeavors.

With the mentor that I had, we would see each other at least once a week and he would either do this:

A: Wire funds into my account.

B: Give my allowance in an envelope.

C: Pay for something with his debit/credit card.

In exchange, he had a confidant, lover and friend that enriched his life for the better, whether it was mentally, or emotionally.

Please tell me your thoughts.

When the time comes and he offers you an allowance and it’s too low, and you’d like to get more, it’s always awkward to say, uh that’s not enough can I have more? Or maybe you’re too nervous to ask for a higher number. I have this phrase saved on my phone in my notes and it has worked every single time I use it.

If he’s a POT from another state:

Tell him,

I feel the amount of travel I’m willing to do shows a great deal of generosity where my time is concerned, & I would like if you could reciprocate with a little more generosity on your part.

If he’s a POT from your city:

Tell him,

I feel the amount of time I’m willing to dedicate shows a great deal of generosity when my schedule is concerned, & I would like if you could reciprocate with a little more generosity on your part.

If he tries to be difficult tell him you have a few better opportunities but would really like to stick with him.

“I admire your self-confidence. I am a beautiful, young, woman with a long list of aspirations and goals to accomplish. Finding a wealthy generous gentleman for a woman like myself has never been a challenge. Although we met through unconventional means we are both searching for a conventional value that adds to the equation. What I find puzzling at the moment however is where you can add that value to my life. Finding somebody attractive doesn’t add much since I could seek a jock-fuck (insert high profile athlete), someone that has a lot money might add a little more value because they’re able to help the small things like bills but there’s already plenty of men willing to do that. So here I am wondering, what on earth can you add as a value to my fast-paced crazy life?”

Feel free to add:

“And, if you are wondering what a beautiful young woman like myself can add as value to your life… then you are asking the wrong questions and are clueless how to take care of a woman as special as myself.”

if you haven’t noticed, I haven’t blogged about my experiences in a while. 

I have had my downs & I have certainly had my major ups as well. 

but what I realized in the whole process is that I am definitely a diamond.

I’m confident, I am elegant, I am smart, I am mature, I can hold a meaning conversation, I’m tall - black - dark skinned - and basically fucking beautiful.

I’M NOT SAYING THIS TO SOUND ARROGANT, BUT I AM CONFIDENT.

for the longest time I was told that being the way I looked is not “ideal” and men that are wealthy and white go for tall white blue eyed blondes. WRONG!

but back to my point, I will no longer be going on POT dates. I will no longer go on the “introductory phase” with men. And I will no longer go free styling.  

I refuse to pursue a man and try to impress him when it should be the opposite. I am at a point in my life where I want to get married, fall in love, and marry wealthy. No point in the games. I have enough shoes, enough bags, enough designer items in an expensive high rise in the middle of downtown DC. I could give a flying fuck about another Chanel bag!

so basically, I feel as though I would lower myself wasting precious time with lame men and when the time is right, if it is I’m going to land the whale of my dreams.

Somewhere in Europe. Sun, sea, sand and lots of sex 😛

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.