sugaringgcaramel

jaehyun and you grew up together, spent all of your childhood at his place as he did vice versa. you two were basically inseparable is what your parents would say at least, once you guys went to school things didn’t change one bit, he was attached at your hip as you were to him, besides the rare occasion when you guys hung out with your own friends and didn’t have class together. graduation day was coming faster than expected, time crunching down on the days to apply to university or collage, or to secure a job quick.

you and jaehyun were studying for your final exams when he brought up what he wants to study after high school. “hey y/n, i was thinking of studying criminology at NCIT university here in state, what do you think?” jaehyun continues writing out some sort of what seems to be biology notes as he studies, not looking up at you while he speaks. “hmm?” you hum out as you look up from your paper. “i think that would be fun, it suits you i can totally see you doing something like that.” you say as you ruffle his hair then continue to focus in on your paper, “what about you? what do you wanna do once we graduate y/n?” jaehyun says as he looks up at you. you don’t respond, you just shrug your shoulders and scratch your head, the truth is you know exactly what you want to do, you just don’t know how to tell the person who was literally been with you since the beginning of time and has witnessed almost all your milestones with you that you i want to move away and study else where, its not easy to exactly break the news to him so you decide to just not tell him.

~

your at home, surprisingly not with jaehyun, your studying for your english final when youu get a text from your friend karina.

rina!! : y/n gtfu and get ready, were going to a party tn, mark is hosting and yk how much i wanna go to one of his parties before we graduate!!! :((

you read the text with a light chuckle and smile, you know how much karina has been talking about going to one of mark lee’s parties, after all you blew her off all these times to hang out with jaehyun and this might be the last one of mark’s parties that you’re able to to go before graduating. jaehyun is obviously going to be at the party, that’s a no brainer, he is friends with mark after all so it shouldn’t even be a question, you just wonder if he would ask you or not.

y/n : tonight? ugh fine, want me to drive or are we ubering from my place?

rina!! : YESSSSS! OKAY LETS UBER ILL BE THERE IN 5! LOVE YA!!!

~

the doorbell to your house rings, you immediately know that it’s karina, or so you think. you run down the stairs “mom it’s karina! were getting ready to go to a party!” you yell as you pass the living room and kitchen, you quickly open the door to reveal, its jaehyun? what is he doing here, shouldn’t he be getting ready to go to the party or even be at the party? “oh hey jaehyun, what are you doing here?” you ask as you lean on the door frame. “i was just gonna ask if you wanted to go out tonight?” he says, very softly spoken. you can’t tell if he is asking you on a date or if he is asking you to go to the party with him. “i would love to but im actually going to mark’s party tonight with karina, ill see you there though right?” you say as you scratch your head. he just nods and smiles “yeah ill see you tonight” jaehyun waves bye to you as he walks back to his place to go finish getting ready.

karina finally comes shortly after jaehyun left, you run down to actually let her in this time, you and karina run back up to your room, she came prepared. as you guys get ready she pulls out two bottles of alcohol from her backpack, you dont question how she got it you just know that she is always prepared. you turn on some music to get you in the mood for the party, the bth of you take turns taking swigs from the bottles she brought all while getting ready for this party that is supposedly the biggest party to be yet, which we all know is a lie because mark always out does his parties the next time he has one.

karina lays out two outfits on your bed, outfit one is a cropped top with some super cute ripped jean shorts and her party sneakers, while outfit two is a little more…. slutty? but who are you to judge! outfit two is a mini jean skirt with a sparkly tube top, immediately you tell her “outfit two. no brainer.” she looks impressed by your decision not expecting you to pick that one out of the two. “okay so what are you wearing? because im not letting you go in sweat pants and some fuck ass baggy hoodie or tee shirt, y/n we need to go in there guns blazing.” karina says as she crosses her arms at you with a focused expression plastered on her face.

karina rampages your closet and dresser finding what may be the cutest items of clothing you may have, you didn’t even know you had half of the things she is pulling out right now. you watch as karina is in her zone finding you a cute outfit to wear to the party, then she does it. karina stops in her tracks and hold up the most perfect shirt ever, its a lace halter top that is embedded with rhinestones. she quickly throws it at you with a black mini jean skirt and a belt to go with it. “put it on, i just found your outfit.” you can obviously tell karina is very proud in her finding of this outfit, it truly is perfect for this occasion. you put the outfit on, making sure the halter top doesn’t ruin your hair or make up as you put it on.

“perfect…” karina says under her breath as she looks at you giving you an approving look, she takes another swig of one of the bottles of liquor before she calls for the uber.

~

both you and karina are in the uber, you somehow took over the aux the uber driver is vibing along with both you and karina as you guys sing your hearts out to some rihanna song, getting in the vibe for the party which you are probably more excited than karina is at this point.

the uber feels like its taking forever even though it is only a ten minute drive, you guys finally arrive to the party after what feels like twenty minutes in the uber. the loud music thumping through the front door the of house, people on the front lawn talking and sipping on some what is most likely liquor in red solo cups.

you and karina thank the uber drive then make your guys way up to the door, you open in and allow karina to go first, you grabs you by the arm and immediately drags you to a drink table, she hands you whatever they had laying out on the table in the cups as she takes one for herself as well.

the drink she hands you sloshes around in the cup, the colourful lights making it hard to tell what it is, you drink it anyways, the taste of liquor burns your mouth and throat as you stomach it down. the effects of the liquor already happening from the pregame during your little get ready party with karina.

songs from the early 2000’s play, lots of rihanna, lady gaga, selena gomez, usher, beyoncé, britany spears, you just can’t help yourself but make your way to the dance floor. jaehyun spots you from what seems to be a makeshift dj booth that he is in charge of, of course. you find a spot in the middle of the floor dancing your heart out with karina, both of your drunk off of a mix of liquors but who cares, as long as you’re enjoying yourself thats all that matters right?

jaehyun bumps into some girl, he makes small conversation with her, but thats when you notice him. you would never admit in a million years that you like jaehyun, besides everyone thought you guys were already dating because of that one dating rumour that went around, but for some odd reason seeing jaehyun talk with another girl that you never heard him talk about and now dancing with her made you jealous.

your try your best to not seem to possessive and jealous over him because after all, you aren’t even dating your just best friends. you busy yourself by getting some more drinks which has now ended you up playing beer pong with mark lee and a bunch of jaehyuns other friends.

karina is lost with some guy she has been plotting on for awhile so you know she is okay.

~

the party drags on, your thoughts are crowded by the image of jaehyun with that other girl, and thats when you knew you were going to apply out of state and move away.

jaehyun finally stumbles out of the dance floor to the kitchen, which is surprisingly where you were, you came to the kitchen to grab yourself a glass of water to sober up a little bit as the alcohol was taking its toll on you right now.

“y/n! there you are! i was looking for you!” jaehyun says as he stumbles into you, bringing you into a big hug, jaehyun smells like a mix of spilt pink whitney and his earthy yet floral cologne. “jaehyun what are you doing…?” you ask him as you try to free yourself from this unexpected bear hug, you finally are able to breath, you prop yourself onto the counter, seating yourself on it as he leans against the fridge which is across from the counter your sat on.

“i wanted to dance with you, but i couldn’t find you when i went to look for you… you disappeared on me..” jaehyun has a soft pout almost like a lost puppy as he states his purpose of coming to the kitchen.

all you can do is just nod your head, you finish up your glass of water then glance at the time thats displayed on your phone screen reading ‘1:19 am’. “im gonna head out soon, its getting late” you say as you open the uber app on your phone, getting ready to book an uber for you to head home.

“wait- ill drive you home, im sober dont worry” jaehyun says in protest “besides were heading in the same direction since i literally live next to you..” he adds on as he smiles softly at you. “you on the other hand are not sober so i dont want some random uber driver taking advantage of you.” jaehyun says with a sharp edge to his voice, making it clear that you will be going home with him one way or another.

thirty minutes pass by, you decide that you wanna go home now since its almost 2:00 am now, you text jaehyun.

y/n : jaehyun, i wanna go home hurry up im outside waiting for you….

jae !! : im otw, i started the car if u wanna go sit in it

you read the message and make your way to his car which is already started and nice and warmed up, the passenger seat of your car was undeniably your seat so you obviously made yourself comfortable in your seat as you wait for him. after a short 2 minutes he is already closing in on the car, you watch as the driver side door opens and slams shut as he hops in, he then starts the car with his key and hands you his phone so that you can play music while he drives.

“you look good tonight..” jaehyun says breaking the silences between you two.

“thanks, you do too, you always do though…” you make sure to mumble that last part just enough so he can’t understand what you said.

“did you enjoy the party tonight? it seems like you did..” he says with a soft laugh as he glances over at you then back at the road.

“yeah i did, i had lots of fun tonight…” you say softly, a yawn escapes your lips once you finish speaking

“tired? dont worry your almost home.. does your mom know you drank tonight?” jaehyun says as he continues to focus in on the road

shit. your mom is against drinking, you would be killed if she found out you even had a drop of alcohol tonight, its a miracle she even let you go to the party.

“shit- my mom doesn’t know…”

“that’s fine you can just spend the night at my place then, my mom doesn’t mind obviously so dont worry about it” he says as he backs up into his driveway, parking his car then turning it off. jaehyun makes his way to the passenger side of the car, he opens your door and helps you out. he holds the small of your back as he supports you as you both walk into his house, trying to be as quite as possible. you make your way up to his room he tosses you some of your clothes that you left at his place prior to tonight.

“take your time ill be in the kitchen” he says as he shut the bedroom door and heads down to the kitchen for some water and something quick to eat

you follow shortly after getting changed and meet him in the kitchen. jaehyun slides you a glass of water and a bowl of chips. all you do is hum and begin to eat the chips while sipping on the water every now and then.

“im gonna head up to bed, you can sleep in the guest room if you want” jaehyun says as he nods at you waiting for your answer. “ill just crash wherever i make it” you say as you nod your head at him.

as jaehyun makes his way to his room, you finish up whatever chips you had left and finish the glass of water, you wash up the dishes then make your way to a bedroom, you flop onto the bed, jaehyun lets out a groan of pain. “you mind moving over a bit..?” he says as he adjusts himself on his bed to allow more space for you to sleep comfortably as well.

you just hum and pass out once you make yourself comfortable.

~

the morning comes and jaehyun is still passed out next to you, the sun beams on his face just right, you slowly wake up and grab all your clothes from last night, before you leave you leave a small note on jaehyuns night stand reading:

‘thanks for letting me sleep over last night, ill see you during finals! :)’

~

a week goes by after the party, you have been spending your time studying and nothing else but that, your mom calls you downstairs, she says you have a visitor. you make your way out of your room to see who is here for you, to your surprise it jaehyun.

“hey i haven’t seen you in awhile i thought i would stop by” he says with a smile as he holds out a pizza for you

“thanks, i’ve just been studying a whole lot recently you know..” you say as you walk up to your room with him following behind, you open your bedroom door to reveal a whole lot of textbooks, note books filled with review notes, loose papers and practice exams. “sorry its a bit messy” you admit to him and he clears up a spot on your bed to sit as you sit at your desk, your laptop open with more notes and review material.

“all good, i get it dont worry, i just thought i would check up on you, besides i can’t wait until finals to see my best friend” he says as he opens the pizza and takes a slice. you do the same, eating the slice of pizza an savouring it while its still hot.

you and jaehyun spend the time catching up with each other, enjoying each other’s presence, while you spend more and more time with jaehyun you realize that you really do like him, unfortunately you dont know if the feeling is the same for him, after all you say jaehyun flirting with another girl, and its like he said your his best friend, nothing more. you can only wish it was something more though, the feeling you had towards jaehyun was more than just another little crush, this was wanting to spend the rest of your life with him, wanting to grow old with him and see each others milestones while you both grow into adults.

~

its finals day. or is it your final day? who knows all you know is that your brain can’t take anymore math, science, english or social. jaehyun and you both came to school to take your finals together since you both had all the same ones, he ends up finishing before you, because you can no longer think about any of these subjects, your brain is fried from all of the material you studied the week before.

jaehyun simply waits in the car for you to finish, hours pass by before you even step foot outside of the school, once you finally finish you god awful finals you immediately make your way to jaehyuns car and just sit there in silence, your brain being too fried to even have a conversation with anyone at this moment. lucky for you jaehyun came prepared, he must’ve went out while you were still writing your exam and got you some snacks, he hands them to you without saying a word as he drives the both of you home.

the car ride is silence, but its nice, there is comfort found in the silence between you two, soft music playing in the background while the hum of the engine is loud enough to also fill the silence.

jaehyun drops you off at home and gives you a bright soft smile and wave as you leave, all this time spent with him makes it harder to eventually say goodbye, you know thats going to be a tough conversation you dont even want to think about right now.

~

finally, the day everyone waits for, its graduation day, you went out previously to buy a dress for this very day and some heels to match with it.

you walk across the stage when your name is called, wearing the cap and gown provided to you by the school, your family filming as they capture this very moment in your life, you get your diploma handed to you, you take it and pose for a picture before you walk off the stage, meeting your family.

jaehyun follows shortly after meeting up with your family and his for some photos together, you guys pose with each other, both in your caps and gowns, both of you with the most biggest smiles you think you may ever have. growing up together to graduating together, it’s a big deal to see your childhood friend graduate by your side. both of your families leave to get ready to go home, you and jaehyun stay behind to take more photos together.

there is a soft silence that lingers between you two as you stand in front of one another, holding your new found diplomas. “jaehyun i need to tell you something..” “y/n i need to tell you something.” the both of you speak at the same time, jaehyun gives a soft nod, an unspoken signal for you to go first. “i’ve applied to NCIT university in new york…” there is a small break of silence before you continue. “and i got accepted, so im moving.” you say to him, you cant even look him in the eyes. here you are, having the hardest conversation with your childhood best friend, and what seems to be worse, your childhood crush.

“you’re what….?” jaehyun has his head down, looking at his feet while he rests a hand on your shoulder. you know jaehyun has something to tell you so you allow him to fill the silence. “y/n, i wish you the best then, if that’s what you want then ill support you in everything you do.” of course this isn’t what jaehyun wants, he wants you to stay with him every step through life, he wants to witness all your firsts, all your milestones in life, he wants to be the one by your side through every step of the way as you both navigate your way through this roller coaster called life.

jaehyun cant even look at you in the eyes, neither can you look him in his eyes, there is just a soft yet loud silence between the two. “im moving next week, just thought i would let you know…” you say to break the silence between you two. “why? is this really what you want y/n? we were talking about going to NCIT here, in california, what made you change your mind?” jaehyun is on the verge of breaking down as he spits all of this out, he isn’t yelling but there is a harshness to his voice that you know you caused. “im sorry jaehyun……” is all you can say in response.

jaehyun wanted you, then he lost you, maybe he waited too long, maybe he was too late. no. he was too late, jaehyun had you right in the palm of his hands then, he lost you, all to some university in new york, half way across the country.

to be continued…