Creations ~

the strangest thing about time and life is that we only exist in a glimpse of it. we are blips on the map of history, and yet, every one of us has the potential to change the world and alter the course of humanity. still, we spend so much effort working through and reminiscing the past and even more planning, plotting and worrying about the future. the moments that most often escape us are the ones we are in, right now. i wonder how much of my life is dulled by seeing things like big sur through a screen. i wonder how many opportunities, choices, or moments i've missed by scrolling through a feed instead of truly seeing, hearing, sensing the people i'm with and places i'm in. this existence is pretty amazing if only we have eyes to see, ears to hear it all. magic. ✨✨✨✨

DON'T FORGET TO BREATHE. ——— as you start today, take a few seconds and breathe. no, r e a l l y B R E A T H E. deep inhale. long exhale. now a deeper inhale, and an even longer exhale. [just do it, you won't regret it] sure, it feels silly to do that while scrolling through instagram. who cares? let's fill our lungs with freshness and put our phones away. let's read a couple pages from a book this morning [any book, just find something printed with a binding + no screens] and start in. let's remember what it feels like to flip a page, let's look at the sky and notice the noises around us. let's take a moment to be fully here before the day gets too busy to even remember to breathe.

sometimes the hard days catch you off guard. they sneak up on you in the middle of the night and then follow you like a shadow the rest of the day, regardless of what you do to distance yourself. even the usual tricks fail. you'll stare at the computer screen and toggle between email and tabs about yoga, kickboxing, airbnb, pinterest, intro to ceramics and even roller derby... and none of those things will do the trick. sure, just looking at the websites gets us quasi-closer to Our Best Lives... but not quite. you'll take a walk, think about running, and decide to just go grab some flowers and make some coconut pie. by the end of the night, we'll once again come to the realization that everything is going to be okay.

let yourself rest. find a quiet place to steal away and pay attention to the things going on in your head and your heart. when life becomes chaotic, we often quiet the confusing stuff because it's easier. but the unresolved won't stayed buried forever, and it surfaces in ways we won't always see. if there's something tugging away at a corner of your heart, it's time to bust out a blank page and start writing those feelings down. it's time to put on some music and go for a long walk outside. it's time to sit quietly in a rusty old folding chair + watch the water glimmer and dance in the light. let's find some slice of silence this weekend and listen to the stuff our hearts are saying. —— 💬 by paulo coelho

you know what's cooler than being cool? —— i have no idea, but my nieces are probably it. ✨ (at Morro Bay, California)

sometimes the divine shows up in the most surreal ways, if only we take the time to pause or participate.
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feeling quite a bit of gratitude today... for the Light in my life that has touched both the path of my past + still proclaims promise in the future.
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let's keep walking. ✨ (at Los Osos, California)

grow, grow wherever you are. —— great, but what about in the waiting? in the seasons we would never choose? in the chaos? what then? —— i have been pretty quiet lately… laying low according to just how i've been feeling + that tends to be my default, in general. it's been challenging: physically, emotionally, relationally. i've been frustrated + anxious, overwhelmed by grief, and open handed. i've resisted, been distant, and defeated. and yet, miraculously, i know there's been growth + strength here, despite it all. —— i heard someone i admire once say she doesn't speak about challenges or personal struggles until she was safely on the other side, able to look back with clear vision and wisdom. —— since then, i decided i would be the person i needed when i was younger. i would talk about my depression and anxiety. i would bare my soul on the internet and trust that someone, somewhere out there, needed to know they weren't alone more than i needed to be comfortable and quiet, silenced by my own shame. it's scary and messy to put our "IN PROGRESS" selves out there; it's vulnerable. but it's real. someone else's tender testaments of the Truth can really comfort another. — the last couple months have been humbling, and i have floundered my way through them. but the beautiful thing? the / our world doesn't collapse when we slip away to rest. friends show up if you let them. and even in the midst of resistance, little roots can form and grow. i look back over this time with a sense of peace and marvel at the tiny roots growing in the right direction. right here, right now, on the right path of wherever the Lord is paving towards.

heartbreak has produced radiant diamonds in my life. most natural diamonds are formed as a result of tremendous heat and pressure in the depths, over an extremely long period of time. while transformation is slooooow, as soon as the object that began as carbon [think pencil lead + coal] transforms into this new material, it must rapidly react and rise [typically due to rare volcanic events] without substantial change or else it is lost. because of the very specific nature of its creation, gem diamonds that come within the reach of man are very rare. what grace-filled generosity it is to take grey matter and make it a multi-faceted, radiant, light producing gem.
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and while i'd never wish heartbreak upon anyone, the lessons we learn along the way... and even years later, only stand to serve us, to refine us. they create precious treasures of empathy and understanding, compassion and kindness, peace and wisdom that can be shared with others on their own journeys. (at Lisa Leonard Designs)

"you’ll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. you will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things." — jamie tworkowski ——— let's keep having conversations that matter. let's talk to strangers and remember that we're all human. let's lead with kindness and humility and let our lives speak as strongly as our voices raised together. in a gentle way, YOU can shake the world. (at Cat & Cloud Coffee)

after spending way too much time not feeling myself + staring at some screens this week, i'm here to remind us all of this: EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY. and because i need to kick this foul mood i got myself into, i'm turning on some frank ocean and regina spektor before hitting that hot power fusion flow. ✨ back at doing some commission work. need to get these hands all inky again. ——— what are your best tricks to turn your not-the-best day around??

you gotta hold tightly to the things you love [a fondant cowboy + a handful of cake included]. ——— can't believe you're already one years old, bobobrains. you make everyone in the room happy with your contagious lil four tooth smile. whenever someone holds you, you love them so irresponsibly. you are such a sweet lil boy + i cannot wait to see how you grow. love. learn. and become who God created you to be. ✨ (at Orange, California)

✨ you're doing so great ✨

"self love is an ocean and your heart is a vessel. make it full and any excess will spill over into the lives of the people you hold dear. but you must come first." -@beautaplin ———
i don't know about you, but self love has always been a process. more times than i can count, i've found the shadowy figure lurking around dark corners and in quiet moments, waiting to pounce and take me out... is me. i am caught off guard when the harsh, haughty eyes in the mirror belong to me. i preach the words of self love and yet am still startled when i discover the voice of my dissenter is my own. i ache to lean into to my vulnerability and authenticity knowing, theoretically, it is beautiful and strong... although never fully trusting it will hold if i close my eyes and commit hard to a trust fall. ———
it is only in extreme humility, the moments i would never have chosen, that i find myself forced into a crux: open handed acceptance, or resistance of all that i cannot control. confession: i don't go down easy and prefer a defiant, isolating, alienating, profane form of resistance. it lasts for a minute, but my exhausted collapse isn't too far behind. ———
weirdly, it's in this white flag surrender space i find freedom to be myself: all my chaos, all my deal breakers. all my irrational requests, my too many hopes and my history of heartbreak. the desires that contradict. the fears that keep me captive. the extra lbs that find their way back to my middle when my mind quits metabolizing my anxious chatter. making up without making plans. crappy first drafts. lame email correspondence. the shaky first day at a new job. skinny pants that sometimes fit. netflix marathons and the recipe that didn't turn out right. the tipsy tirade just because feeling felt good. bad news at the doctor. hula hoop contests. watching the sun duck down under the horizon, missing the sunrise because it happens too early. the beautiful, the bad, the ugly, the irrational, the ambivalent, all of it. ———
it all belongs. make it full. ———
why is self love so hard? why do we loathe things in ourselves we would love in our friends? how do you work through these things?

a lil #tbt to last weekend because it was spent the best way possible. lemme break it down for you on one way to spend a weekend. ——— pick one of your best friends to join you on a slightly spontaneous trip. —— coffee. coffee. coffee. is a must! you've gotta stay awake for all that will develop on your trip. we experienced the best coffee at cat + cloud. all of the coffee shops we visited were wonderful, do not get me wrong, but @catcloudcoffee had a lil something. and that lil something were the people. shoutout to charles!! who went above + beyond and we enjoyed speaking with him about our part of town & coffee. —— book your first or seventh airbnb. for us, it was our first + we plan on staying at wayne & pat's textile room again! they even said so themselves to come again. make conversation with your host[s]. don't just be another human sleeping under their roof. be intentional. —— if there's a gig playing in the area. go to it. ours was more planned because i knew the group prior [@thebandjoseph] but for heather, she did not the group too well. but afterwards, she was in awe + her world was ROCKED. now she's one of their biggest fans like me [and probably many some of you]! ——— take some time to see what the locals do in the area. watch the surfers ride during a gentle rainfall. read the guestbook at your airbnb for some inspiration. talk to your hosts about the ins + outs. remember to rest and take your time finding things. you don't have to use the gps. take the scenic route. go slow. have fun. and create all of the memories. ✨ (at Santa Cruz, California)

you are so worth loving. you are important. you are sought after by Someone who has always been there. ——— my prayer for you is that you continue to surround yourself by people you love + love you back. that you are overwhelmed by how good life can be. that you bask a bit in the wonder that is your existence. that you dwell in reverent observation, marvel at the ordinary, soar at the subtle. that you cherish the moments around you today, understanding that they are temporal and oh so very precious. i also pray for patience, peace, healing + restoration for the places that are still painful. and i hope that you hope. that you let your heart linger a little longer on those things inside of you that ache to be realized... you are worthy of love. (at Shell Creek Road)

i know this is pretty basic of me, but i don't even care at all. —— this morning, all the hallelujah goes to good coffee + sweet conversations with jonathan, the owner of ascendo coffee, about the starting up of bello mundo {and the right pronunciation of it. eeek!} overcoming. and becoming what his wonderful coffee shop represents + sharing how much it means to me!! ——— praise to @ascendocoffee that can be found in LOS OSOS, CALIFORNIA. my home. and for green, growing, thriving hills and grey, rainy days, and some @leonbridgesofficial. ——— guys, SPRING. is. one. my. FAVORITES. more handlettering. more photo taking can begin now. ✨ caffeine makes a real difference in my life. ✨ cheers! (at Bishop Peak)

worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength—carrying two days at once. it is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength. —— 💬 by corrie ten boom —— raise your hand if you're a worrier? 🙋🏻i am. i play choose your own adventure with 90% of the thousands of decisions that come my way every day. and for what? to predict the future? to maintain smooth sailing? life rarely abides by the parameters we assume it will, so our best bet is to hold our hands wide open and work on our resilience, our adaptability and our response. i have found that when i attack one area of anxiety, it loosens the ties on other areas making everything lighter. how have you alleviated worry in your life? (at San Luis Obispo, California)