The last bit of his dream is fading away. He slowly realizes that his head hurts. Now he's definitely awake. And there's something plasticky in his mouth.
What...He rolls over, pushing himself up on his elbows. It's the pacifier. Still in his mouth. He hastily takes it out and tries to set it down on the nightstand, but it's clipped to his pajama shirt. He stands up out of bed and pulls open the curtains. The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon and the world outside is dark and blue. He turns on the light and squeezes his eyes shut without meaning to. It's making his headache worse.
He reaches down and takes off his shirt. Long-sleeved with little stars and moons with faces printed all over it. The pacifier thuds softly onto the rug as he tosses the shirt on the ground. Now pants.
He isn't wearing a diaper under them, which is kind of a relief. He's not wearing anything under them. He was sure he wore a diaper last night. Maybe that had been a part of his dream.
The pants join the pajama shirt in a heap on the rug and he opens his dresser drawer with a squeak.
"Did you have to turn the light on?" asks a mumbly voice from the bed. His girlfriend turns over, rubbing her eyes.
"I have to get ready for work," he says, pulling briefs and socks out of his drawer.
"Did you get your jammies off by yourself?"
She smiles. "Are you still feeling shy?"
"No, I'm not..." He looks at her and she's giving him a funny look, smirking. He frowns.
"No! I need to get ready for work."
He goes back to getting dressed. He can see her sitting up in his peripheral vision.
She stands up and picks up his pajamas. "You're supposed to unclip your pacifier and put these in the hamper."
"I've got a headache." He rubs his eyes. "I don't want to do the...the baby stuff right now." He opens the closet and sorts through his shirts.
"You still have to put your clothes away. That's not being a baby; that's being responsible and cleaning up so your girlfriend doesn't have to do it for you."
He turns around, shirt halfway buttoned, and picks up the pajamas.
"Oh, you got your buttons wrong." She stands up and waits for him to drop the pajamas in the hamper before unbuttoning his shirt and redoing it, fussing over him.
"I can do that myself," he says.
"You aren't getting a migraine again, are you?"
"No! My head just hurts."
"You would have slept better in a diaper. I told you. But it's okay; I know you got embarrassed."
He looks at her and rubs his eye. There's a little squiggle of light starting to dance in the corner of his vision but he's trying to ignore it.
"I didn't get embarrassed. I just didn't want to. It's dumb."
"You didn't want to? You were drooling around your pacifier and letting me spoon you and baby you but you didn't want to wear a diaper?"
"Yeah. I need coffee." He rubs his eyes again, leaving the room with his shirt untucked.
She follows him into the kitchen, still in her pajamas.
The sound of the coffee grinder makes his head hurt more, and he says "ow!" out loud.
She watches him as he sets his cup down on the table.
"Are you okay? Do you need something to eat?"
"I'm nauseous," he says quietly. "I don't feel good at all."
She reaches out and puts her hand over his on the table. She turns his hand over and rubs circles on it with her thumb. "Do you need to stay home?"
He really wants to shake his head and say no and finish his coffee and go to work, but he feels himself nodding. She leaves the room and comes back with his phone, passing it to him.
She watches him text his boss. "Is it just a headache? Or do you have a visual migraine again, too?"
"It's both." He pushes his phone away and puts his head in his hands.
"Let's just go sit on the couch. You don't need to drink your coffee right now."
He follows her into the living room, holding her hand, and she pulls him onto her lap. He closes his eyes.
"Do you need your pacifier?"
He shakes his head. "No, I told you already. I'm too awake to...to want that stuff right now."
"Are you sure?" She starts to kiss his neck. "You're going to stay home all day. Look, you're biting your nails." She takes his hand out of his mouth and he feels himself starting to slip. That sleepy, slow feeling is creeping in. "I can go get it for you."
Why does it sound kind of nice right now? He feels his head nod up and down again and she gently scoots him off her lap and stands up.
She comes back with the pacifier and a glass of water, but she's holding something else under her arm.
"Yeah," she says, setting it on the coffee table next to his water. "But you don't need to put it on. It can just keep us company for a little bit. Take a sip of water." She waits for him to finish and then fishes the pacifier into his mouth.
He lies back while she rubs his hair.
"Are you feeling better at all?"
"I'm going to go get dressed. Drink some more water, okay?"
When she comes back he's lying down on the couch, staring at the ceiling. The little white light in the corner of his eye has split into a rainbow, and it's still wiggling. He squeezes his eyes shut again.
"Okay, do you need to go to the toilet?"
"I'm worried I'm going to throw up if I stand up," he says quietly.
"How bad do you need to go?"
"Okay," she says, unbuckling his belt and undoing his fly. She pulls off his pants and briefs and he doesn't protest at all as she lifts up his hips to get his pull-up all the way on.
"There. Now you'll be okay if you go a little bit. I'm going to go make food, okay? I'll bring it out here so I can be with you while I eat. Okay?"
He nods, swallowing and rubbing his eyes again. He doesn't want to say it, but the pull-up is really comfortable. He starts to feel tired. The faucet is running in the kitchen, and it sounds so far away. It feels like he's falling deeper into the couch. His pull-up also feels a tiny bit wet and warm.
He hears her footsteps from very far away and then he feels her push his hips up and pull one of those crinkly pads under him. He whines and she shushes him. A heavy, soft blanket is being pulled over him and then he feels the pacifier on his lips again. He opens his mouth and lets her slip it in, relieved that he's finally starting to fall back asleep.
