dank memes melt steel beams

mentally ill faerie aesthetic 🌸🌸

When my doctor said that diagnosis actually doesn’t fit, it scared me a lot. Hell, I think it scared her too a little, hearing me tell her, barely above a whisper, that I tried to kill myself by drinking nail polish remover. Hearing me say that the voice of encouragement inside by head is telling me to die. Telling her, while my mother stares at me in disbelief, that I can’t stop hearing bells or seeing spiders or being overly sensitive. That the medications I keep trying aren’t helping. That I want to be hospitalized so I don’t do the unspeakable, and showing her the scarring on my arms and legs. The hardest part was me realising, as I spoke those things aloud, is that I’ve become the kind of person who cannot be a teacher, or a lawyer, or a social worker. The fact that I’m always going to have limits that are less than other people. I was always told the only limit you have is yourself. I never knew that could be so goddamn disappointing.

Me, as someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder: I mean I have an untreated chronic mental illness, which happens to be a very deadly chronic illness. One out of 10 people with this illness complete suicide, and 8 out of 10 attempt it an average of 3 times. While treatment changes lives and symptoms are put under control, there is no "cure" and biological hypersensitivities and other factors of the illness persist. Medications do not really treat BPD to a great extent, either. I'm dandy. Hbu?