some lines (this was a joint effort of a bunch of greek-savvy 10/11 year olds):
athena: ‘im the goddess of wisdom but you don’t notice me telling everyone. i’m too smart for that’
aphrodite: is zeus chasing some mortal woman again?
athena: no this time he and hera have gone for marriage counselling
athena: we can ask hades to let them out of the underworld to help
aphrodite: he’ll never agree, he’s such a deadly bore (we made a fucking pun im so angry)
demeter: hades wont pick up. he’s too busy torturing the dead in tartarus
hades: i can’t undo the laws of death. just think of the paperwork.
aphrodite: the humidity is messing up my hair. it’s getting all frizzy
athena: is that all you care about?
aphrodite: no, it’s also messing up my dress
demeter: it’s so dark, and there aren’t any trees or flowers
hades: what do we need trees for, everybody’s dead
paris: yeah, and i can shoot straight! isn’t that right, achilles?
paris: who are you? do we know you?
achilles: im mighty achilles
odysseus: im wily odysseus
paris: and im hungry paris
kronos: i really am awesome, aren’t i
aeton: one wrong move and you’re history
odysseus: fool! we already are history!
demeter: where are those mortals? i left them right there.
athena: are you sure? this isnt the first time you’ve lost someone.
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