deja vu

but today i drove through the suburbs crying 'cause you weren't around ( © )

“I mean, being upset isn’t hateful. It’s just. You know. HOW YOU FEEL.” she’s kind of the worst person to ask about this. Avery’s not exactly over her own ex either, even if she’s swanning about with someone new ; but that’s the bed she’s chosen to lay in, the one in which she’s never 100% comfortable, a wandering eye, an irritation that itches beneath the flesh. “I think you’re looking for like, logic from the heart. And that’s the problem because like, the things you wants aren’t looking for things like logic, it’s just this crazy thing where you’re just. You just can’t help how you miss ‘em’, is all. But you will, yanno, find someone and be happy. But wanting it and looking for it’s only gonna mean you’re gonna be picking apart everyone who comes your way. Like, what’s seriously gonna grow when you’re in that kinda state, you know?” kinder, now. “… the heartache will fade. And it’ll come when it comes. And until then? All of us are here for you, you know that right?” even if it’s not the same, even if it doesn’t really sing the same tune.

- @suburbsdrove

“Thursday’s the new weekend, didn’t you hear?” Rue’s monotone delivery smothers the sarcasm in her voice, the only giveaway to it the smirk that rises, subconsciously, at the end of it. Has she ever, like, talked to him before? Actually and really at school, or was he just another person she noticed, and heard about from time to time. Enough to build a rough idea of who he was, without a single stitch of detail to go into it, no shading, no depth… maybe in her EUPHORIC STATE, she’s wondering about the nature of what it means to really know someone, the depth of potential within others… how there was some strange, infinite potential in all people, and perhaps the only thing keeping them separated was their own time, willingness and patience to stick it through… but fuck. That shit was fucking too deep for her right now, blowing a raspberry, placing a joint between her lips.

At least now she isn’t like, fucking spiralling on this, Rue’s fingers occupied with the routine of it all ; that christening of the end, the fumbling withe the cheap BIC lighter that Fez always fronts her from the store - the way her LUNGS BURN with that first inhalation, feeling the lax hit her shoulders immediately, needing that, a little exhausted with just that. “It’s not exactly what the Disney channel had you believe, is it?” her lips quirk into a small smile to match, looking out at the crowds of people thronged throughout the house, her own face lit up, highlighting her grave expression within it. “… I don’t, really. Maybe it’s because nobody’s like. Looking at you. Not really. Everyone’s so fucking involved in their own shit that they like. Like… don’t see anything outside of it, you know? And it’s kind of just this big relief for me, almost. Where I don’t have to fucking think about… anything. Or feel self-conscious or whatever. You can just kind of exist, you know?” fuck. She’s too fucking high for this conversation. “… what were you thinking you’d find by coming here anyways?”

- @suburbsdrove

why did he agree to this again ? parties were not his scene, he didn’t partake in the drinking or the drugs he saw going on, he was just observing from a distance. did that make him on the more boring side ? probably, he assumed. he definitely didn’t fit in well with his classmates who partied, peter wasn’t oblivious to that, he stuck out like a sore thumb in that house. his brows furrowed slightly at rue’s words, a confused chuckle escaping his lips. he didn’t know her very well, he knew of her and heard different things about her, but that was about it. peter didn’t necessarily have a formed opinion of rue, one thing about him, was that he preferred to get to know people himself, he wasn’t someone who let other people influence his ideas of who someone else was. peter felt slightly awkward, he really didn’t know what to say or do, and it felt as though that placed him at a strong disadvantage.