A Journal Of Thoughts And Wants

— Azra T. (via busyreadingerotica)

-"Can you do it?"

Ever tried to ask a Sub that question?

It shakes their very soul. Because it's not an order, strictly speaking... But it carries a far heavier weight.

It tells the sub that you want them to agree to whatever you're making them do. Turning them into accomplices of their own submission.

It also tells them you care for them, so they know that their Dom is interested in testing their limits and wants to make sure they're able to push past them.

But it also serves a deeper purpose.

It brings fear to the forefront of their minds.

They will fear that this time they won't be able to take it after they say yes, so they'll be punished for lying.

They will fear that they can't say yes, so they'll be dissapointing in the eyes of their Master.

They'll fear the ask itself, because it means their Master is giving them the Horror of Choice back to them.

It's terrifying in a subtle way, it paralizes their thought process so they can only think on that question.

-"bend over so I can use the cane on your ass, and I want you to count to 30. Can you do it?"

-"I want you to expose your body to a stranger right now, can you do it?"

-"take my cock balls deep baby, you can take it don't you?"

-"can you count to 40 while I choke you?"

Give them the gift of realizing that they are so hopeless that a simple question can break them.

And then make them realize they can will themselves to do anything they put their minds to.

Anything at all.

If we’re talking about just doing this to your sub without knowing they like fear play then this could be borderline emotional abuse. Being a sub doesn’t automatically mean signing up to be ‘terrified’. That’s cruel. 

Even if you know your sub does like being scared, if that sub doesn’t have a really rock-solid confidence in being able to advocate for their limits? You could very well be pressuring your sub to push beyond their limits which could easily cause them to end up hurt and the relationship to end up hurt as well. 

Here are three types of rules for Caregivers who are struggling to develop lists for their new little:

1. Rules That Establish Dominance:

These are the fun rules, and the ones that reinforce who is boss. Asking for permission to cum and letting Daddy pick out your panties each day are good examples.

2. Rules That Guide Health:

These help with physical and mental health. Eating breakfast each day, a required walk, journal writing, and required self play (good for burning calories and raising endorphins) are good examples.

3. Rules That Help With Goals:

These help make her that very best version of herself that she wants to be. Keeping her room tidy, working toward healthy eating habits, putting away money in the bank each week, and required time for studying are good examples.