Melodramatic

Morning Glory (detail)

closeted, part 2/4

closeted, part ¾

He tore her heart open and his rigid, destructive hands found chamomile, lavender, and saccharine jasmine.

Her aorta spouted moonlight, out her veins doves flew, and her weakened arteries emitted every last trace of pearl dust.

Cherry wine bursted from her delicate valves. Her aura, with its dim,  rose-tinted illumination, cut, bit, fought the virile fists.

hold me for a second longer and make this one kiss last

make it mean something, even if we have nothing left,

if we both know that this will end so bad, please kiss me longer.

kiss me like it was meant to be

kiss me like we have never cried for each other before

like we never felt pain

i know im blessed when i can wake up in the middle of the night and your there.

make this last, make this mean something forever

loving you is painful but feeling like this was all for nothing will kill me

if you cant love me forever please let me exist in your memory and when i fade and the one who you do love is all you think about you will feel me, you will still feel that it all started with me

it all started when you were the first person to make me feel like i mattered

it started when we taught each other love, this childish, irresponsible, learning love

i will always thank you for giving me a starting point when no one else did

i will always love you for sending me the right address for love, for holding my hand and filling out the paperwork

you took me out of a box and made me watch the sun rise

i will always hold you longer, kiss you harder.

you were my first, your my beginning, your nurtured me into love

you showed me that it was okay to have a big nose and a weird sense of humor and not so good people skills and still be capable of being any kind of special

even if i dont cross that finish line with you

you will always have the credit of putting me at a starting point and i hope i did the same for you

i hope i showed you that love is all around you, its not all included. sometimes you have to get the batteries

sometimes they don’t work and you have to try again.

i hope you learned that when it does, when it finally doesn’t feel like a failed mission it was all worth it.

because the lights shine so bright and it can be so powerful if you just try,

you brought me to the race now i will help you win, i will guide you and give you water because this is a long one

to be with you forever in this is a dream, to have a middle and end with you is a goal.

but we have to get there and see. and please remember me at the finish line

How can I stay

And watch myself lose you?

How can I walk and watch you run

All that I am

Was because of you

So damn stupid

All the time

For how long

Lord thank you for helping me breathe

Because

If I held him one more time

I wouldn’t know me anymore

Lord why did this last?

Why did I last?

How come you didn’t give up

When I kept pouring another mans cup?

How did I get back to this

Unnatural bliss

I was blind

Too blind

But now I see

Instead of his back,

I see the calm after the storm

How sweet the air is

How green the trees are

The magic put into me when all is done

How sweet is this music I hear

This fruit I eat

My skin I’m in

How the world turns

Turning a dead force into

a live angel

A magic empress

In my own world

You are no longer here with me

In my own world

I am my hero

Not you or anyone before

Just me

Just God

He is within me

Unless the sky is falling

Don’t come knockin at my door

No, no, no

I see me

only

The only one who dreams within a dream

I see me

My strength

My love

Not to coincide

With your lie

Bury yourself in his love,  bathe yourself in it. 

Baptize yourself in it if you are willing, but 

when he leaves.

Let him leave.

Let him leave with ease. 

Don’t beg him to stay, 

cry for his love. 

Just, 

let him leave.