My Submissive Wishes

Lately, I’ve been feeling the itch. It comes and goes in severity, but it never fully disappears. You know the one. THAT itch.

To serve.

Be useful.

Be His good girl.

Be His obedient slut.

To take some pain and wear the marks proudly.

Does anyone know how much it absolutely sucks to feel and be needy? Like…you feel like you’re a burden. You expect/desire too much. Even asking for your bare minimum feels like you’re asking people to move literal mountains for you, because you feel like you should make yourself smaller and need things less so as to not be an inconvenience to anyone, even those asking for you to rely on them.

The worst part of this feeling? It (for me, at least) doesn’t come from another person. It comes solely from inside, from the darkest part of the mind, the part that tells you all the negative things it can about yourself. Those negative mantras it can’t help but loop over and over.

See each other, and talk, as often as possible Hearing, and seeing each other, as often as possible is the number one way to feel connected to one another long distance.Try to find little times to connect, even if it’s not a time when you can give your full attention. Talk while you are driving or grocery shopping. For my Dom and I our time differences, and schedules, make finding time to give each other 100% attention hard for us. My Daddy sometimes turns on ‘Daddy TV’ for me, allowing me to watch him on cam while he is working. We mute the sound and chat via text, but being able to see him is a very calming experience for me, and it certainly helps this needy sub feel connected.

Text when you can’t talk Having your camera on, or headphones in, isn’t always practical, but communicating through text chat is often a more manageable way to keep in contact throughout the day. Don’t underestimate the power of a message that says “Just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you’’.

Have a cam ’date’ Order the same takeout (Chinese food, pizza, etc.), and pop on the same Netflix show/movie while you cam together.

Keep a panty catalog Both my Dom and I love when he chooses my panties. I, like most women I know, own more panties than he is able to keep track of without help. What I did was create an album for him, a picture of me in each pair, and a corresponding number, so that all he needs to do is glance at the album and leave me a number to let me know which he chose for the day. This works great with lingerie too.

Send Voice Messages There is a great service on Vocaroo.com that requires no sign up. You can record voice messages for each other so that you have something to listen to at time you will not be able to communicate via voice/cam.

Send pictures and videos as often as possible A silly morning selfie, or a video recording, can go a long way toward making you feel connected. Google drive is a great way to organize these and control who can view/download the videos and images. (However these methods are not hack-proof and you should always be discreet and completely trust and vet anyone you share sexy/revealing content with.)

Don’t make every communication about sex Things don’t need to be sexy all the time. Have a cam session where you just talk. Ask about your partner’s day. Time on voice/cam is often limited in LDRs but that doesn’t mean every opportunity needs to be used for something sexy. Those sexy times will feel so much more special when you’ve fostered a real connection.

Share a to-do list Google keep is a great app that lets you share a to-do list, so you can check tasks/chores off, and your Dom can see what has been completed at any given moment. It also allows either party to add or remove tasks at any time.

Share your playlists The days of mixed tapes are over, but listening to the same song (preferably at the same time) is a great way to feel connected to another person. Shared experiences have a way of uniting us that is very powerful, and music has a draw all it’s own.

Don’t hide your bad days LDRs are, after all, just relationships. Don’t impose on yourself the need to always come off as happy and put together. I’ve had calls where I’ve done little more than cry while my Dom listens and attempts to just be there for me. When another person can’t read your body language you need to make a greater effort to communicate what your feeling. Tell them if you feel sad, or frustrated, or angry. If you know that you’ll have trouble with this I’ve heard some people establish emojis or code-words ahead of time that they can use to communicate a mood when they can’t find the words.

Send a good-morning and goodnight message This is an important practice, especially for people in different time zones. Let them know you are thinking of them when you wake. Tuck-in is a very reassuring ritual for submissives (especially littles) and these simple messages can go a long way toward reassuring both Dom and sub that they are thought of, and missed.

Have a comfort object It’s my intention to write something more extensive about aftercare in a LDR later on, but a great place to start is with a comfort object. It can be a stuffy, a blanket, or a sweatshirt that smells like your partner; anything that reminds you of them. Create good associations by keeping the item close by while you are talking and enjoying yourselves, this will make the object more comforting when you’re feeling down.