Alexander James Duval

I know you didn’t, but still, I wanted to properly apologize anyways. And thank you for being honest with me, I appreciate it. And I do wanna treat him right. I wanna treat the both of you right. I can’t erase any pain people have given you in the past..but I’m hoping that I can help make your futures at least a bit brighter, because you both deserve to be completely and utterly happy.

Honestly, I think people who don’t like him are just people who don’t understand him, who fear him even- fear his beliefs and his voice. There’s nobody else quite like him in the world, and I guess some people don’t take to different, take to change very well…but, well..screw those people.Anyone who doesn’t realize how special and wonderful he is is not someone I want in my life. And yeah, I can see your point, there’s differences and similarities in our bonds- and either way, he’s number one in our lives, and that’s what’s important. And that’s another thing that’s important- both you knowing I’d never tear you two apart..and that you feel safe here. I really do mean it when I say you have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that and to know that. So thank you, and I promise that I’ll try and keep that feeling of safety here for you for as long as I possibly can.

I understand why you felt that way, I know the odds seemed slim to none to find someone who wanted you both but…you did. I like how things are right now, with the three of us, it just..it works. (At least I like to think so). And I’m absolutely okay with things staying just the way they are now if you guys are–you’re not forced to stay here, you’re not under my orders anymore but…you’re here anyways. And it’s just really, really nice. Oh, I…yeah? Sorry, I kinda just..- in my head, that’s how I’ve been referring to you two lately, and I like to think that others outside of our family circle maybe..see you two as that also. But if it makes you uncomfortable, I won’t say it again, promise. Instead I’ll just shut up now and hug you.

I appreciate you properly apologizing. More than you know. I’ve been working on being honest with my feelings.... I struggle at times because I don’t want to upset people but... I know it’s not helpful when I hide how I’m truly feeling. You have been treating us both right and, for me at least, I do feel happy. I’ve always said simply having Elliott makes me happy and that’s true but... you’ve made me happy too lately. In your own ways.

I think you’re right and he’s a vocal person when it comes to his thoughts and beliefs, but that’s what I love about him. I love how he’s not afraid to speak his mind and tell people how it is. I don’t like when it gets him into trouble but... that’s who Elliott is and I wouldn’t change him for the world. Exactly. He’s our first priority and I think anyone that knows us is aware of it. You’ve proven that you don’t want to tear us apart. If you were going to try that than you would have already. You would have jumped at the first chance after we were unclaimed to steal Elliott away from me and you haven’t.

Relationships between submissives... they aren’t meant to become serious like he and I did. We’re meant to be here to serve Dominants and focus our attention on them and their needs... not our own. So the idea of finding someone who would let us continue it the way our Dom did was... honestly? A dream come true. He was okay with it. He was okay with us doing things without him and not everyone gets that luxury. We were lucky. I think how things are right now work too. It feels... normal being here like we are.

It doesn’t make me uncomfortable. Just... it was one of the last things I ever expected to hear you say. It’s been... ages since I’ve heard someone think of Ell and me like that. Yes. Hugging. Please do.

[PRIVATE] I know..and again, I’m really, really sorry we hurt you- that I hurt you. You were my first friend here, Alex, you’ve always been important to me. I know you’re not violent, you’re one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met (can I say that literally? Because your baking expertise has been a godsend in my life). And yeah..no worries, I’ll talk to him. I’ll let him know all that because…I don’t wanna fuck things up again when it comes to this..when it comes to him.

Everyone who gets to know him loves him, even if yeah, the way you and I love him is..different. I get that; the bond you two have is special, and you’re so, so lucky to have it, and I’d never try and tear you two apart- nor would I let anyone else try to. As for that next bit….that..–I’m really glad you feel that way, and that you feel safe here, because that’s all I want, I just want you guys safe and happy. And to know that I’m the reason you feel that way? Well…let’s just say the often-dormant Dom parts of me are really content to know that. I’m here for you Alex, I promise. 

Private:

I know, Jason and it’s okay. I know neither of you meant to hurt me. I didn’t admit that to make you feel bad. I was just being honest. You’re sweet, Jace (and you could... if you really wanted to). Good. I know you don’t want to mess things up, but I have faith in you to do this right. To treat Elliott right.

...How could anyone not love him once they got to know him? It’s different, but it’s not different. He and I have a bond that’s special but you’re his brother. You have a different bond with him too. One that’s just as special as the one he and I share. I know you wouldn’t tear us apart. If you had told me that six months ago... I don’t know if I would have believed you, but that would have been my own insecurities and fear of being abandoned yet again talking. I feel safe here because you’ve made it so I can feel safe here. Just by... being you; kind, understanding, and not forcing me to do anything I’m uncomfortable with.

PRIVATE:

I know, and the only thing I regret in it all is hurting you, because that wasn’t my intention, and I know it wasn’t Ell’s either. And trust me, if I ever do something stupid enough like say I regret anything when it comes to him, I’ll punch myself in the face so you don’t have to. I don’t mean tentative in a bad way, just..I guess a little unsure? I don’t wanna push him or make him uncomfortable at all, so I’m letting him lead and initiate things but..yeah. I’ll talk to him about it, about a lot of stuff.

And that right there is why I’m not jealous of you and why I’d never dream of tearing you two apart. You love him so much and you care about him more than anyone else, and I’d never want to take that away from him- from either of you. And of course I want you here, Alex. You’re Elliott’s boyfriend, yes, but…more than that. You’re family. I want you safe because I care about you and I love you- for you. 

It’s okay…being unsure is okay. I know this is a big deal, like…capital letters Big Deal. I haven’t even brought it up to Elliott yet so I’m not about to rush you guys into a decision, and I’m not going to force you to accept it if it’s not something you want but…the offer is on the table, okay? For whenever, if whenever you want it. I’m in no rush, I just…wanted to get it out there, that if it’s something you wanted? Then I’d be honored to call myself your Dom, and to be the one that gets to take care of you guys and make sure no one else can hurt you again.  

Private:

I believe that wasn’t your, or Ell’s, intention, but that doesn’t mean it hurt any less. I wouldn’t punch you in the face if you said something like that. I’d probably... yell at you or something along those lines, but you’ve probably seen how I’m not a very violent person. There’s nothing wrong with being unsure. Especially in this situation where you don’t want to push him or make him uncomfortable, but I still say talk to him. There’s no harm in doing that.

You love and care about him too. As does Blaine, even if his love for him is different than ours. Elliott’s... he’s the only consistent person I’ve had since being at the academy. Even as everyone else leaves... he hasn’t. He’s always been right there through it all. I feel the same way about you and I feel... safe here with you. I know you aren’t going to hurt me and regardless if someone else... I know, or starting to anyways, that you’ll be there for me just like you are for Elliott.

It’s not that I don’t want to accept it. I’m just... I’m afraid. I’m afraid of being claimed again, by anyone. I’ve been in two claims. Both times they were with someone that claimed to loved me and promised they would never leave me. Yet, here I am with them nowhere in sight. The only good thing to come out of those claims is the fact I have Elliott, and I would go through all that pain a thousand times if ended with me having him.

I want to believe you. I really do. But... I can’t. I’m sorry...