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*first pic for reference*

*first pic for reference*

GOODBYE.

Matt saying bags is his guilty pleasure song is my new roman empire

SINCE WHEN WAS HE CHILL LIKE THAT??

Wait Till We Get Home

matt x reader smut

Masterlist

WARNINGS: Smutty smutty smutty smut smut orgasm denial p in v unprotected sex

The loud music played in the background as I sat on my boyfriend’s lap at our friends party. His arm wraps around my waist, pulling me closer to his chest. He laughs at something one of our friends says and I close my eyes.

I hate parties with a passion. I’m only here because Matt begged me to go with him. A mutual friend of ours had thrown this party for whatever reason, and Matt hadn’t talked to them in a long time. So he begged me to go with him so he wasn’t alone durning the outing.

So here I sit, on my boyfriend’s lap, thinking about the comfort my bed would bring me at this moment. My nice warm bed with soft blankets and smooth sheets. With fluffy pillows and my many stuffed animals. And my favorite part, sleeping next to my boyfriend.

I love waking up next to him. I love when he wakes me up by kissing my neck and groping my body. I squeeze my eyes shut, a familiar feeling growing between my legs. I move my hips back, grinding against Matt.

He huffs and holds me still, continuing to talk to our friend as if nothing happened. I bite my lip as I get an idea and grind backwards against him again.

Matt’s jaw clenches as he holds me still by my hips. I try again but he holds me still. I roll my eyes and lean back against him. He continues to talk to our friend as if nothing is happening right now. I sigh and give up, turning around a bit to face Matt.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” I mumble to him. He only nods and lets go of my hips, letting me get up and make my way through the crowd of people to the bathroom.

I close the door behind me and set my purse down on the counter by the sink. I dig through to find my emergency makeup bag to fix up the smudged eyeliner on my eye. I hear the doorknob of the bathroom door turn, and immediately turn around.

“Someone’s in here!” I shout. I mentally face palm for not locking the door.

The door opens and Matt comes in. He closes the door behind him and says “I know, you told me you’d be here.” He locks the door.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

Matt steps closer to me and pulls me close to him by my waist. “You should wait to fix your makeup, darling, I’m about to absolutely ruin it.” He whispers in my ear.

I blush deeply. “What?” I ask.

“Don’t pretend like you didn’t plan for this.” He murmurs. Matt pulls at my shirt and slips a hand under it to cup my breast from over my bra.

“Matt..” I whisper. His hand slips under my jean shorts, tugging them to the side to touch my core over my panties.

“You’re already so wet, baby.” He says.

He pulls his hand away and I whine from the lack of contact. “Matt.” I whine out.

“Just you wait till we get home, baby.” He whispers in my ear.

“What happened to ruining my makeup?” I ask as I slink my hands over his shoulders and pull him closer to me.

“You’re not getting anything until you beg for it, and we’re at home.” He grabs my hands and pulls them off of his shoulders.

“But Matt-“

“But Matt!” He mocks me. He steps back. “We should get home.” He says and unlocks the door of the bathroom.

I pick up my makeup and place it all back in my purse. I walk quickly behind Matt as he pulls me by my wrist, saying his goodbyes to our friends and then leading me outside to his car.

We both get in and he quickly pulls out of the driveway. Before I can even get my seatbelt on, Matt’s hand shoots for my thigh and travels inward to my dripping core. He slips his hand under my shorts, rubbing my clit through the fabric of my panties.

“Put your seatbelt on.” He tells me. I nod and do so while his fingers softly trace up and down over my panties.

“Matt-“ I moan softly.

He only smirks as he turns the wheel with one hand, taking a left onto the street his house is on. He pulls into the driveway, pulling his hand away from me. I whine from the lack of contact as he shuts the engine off and gets out of the car. I quickly undo my seatbelt and follow him into the house.

Matt pulls me by the wrist to his bedroom, harshly slamming the door behind us. He yanks me to the bed, taking off his shirt before towering over me, and pressing a feverish kiss to my lips.

I fiddle with his belt on his jeans, beginning to undo them. I pull the belt through the loops and discard it on the floor. He pulls my shirt over my head and does the same.

His hand reaches to skillfully unclasp my bra in one quick motion, as he’s done so many times before. I press the palm of my hand against his bulge in his boxers. He groans and takes my hand by the wrist, grabs my other wrist, and pins me down to the bed.

He smirks as he uses one hand to pin my wrists down, and uses the other to reach for a discarded tie on the bed, an undecided option from earlier when getting dressed for the party. He uses the tie to bind my wrists together, tying them to the headboard.

He then trails soft kisses down my body to my shorts, before almost yanking them down my legs and throwing them on the ground. He presses a soft kiss against my clothed clit. He lifts back up and pulls his boxers down, releasing his cock as it slaps against his stomach.

He presses the tip against the soaked part of my panties. He rubs himself slowly up and down my clothes core. I whine and twist my wrists around, trying to beg him for more.

Matt smirks. “So needy.” He mumbles. He taps his tip against my clit before movies my panties to the side, slipping his cock over my clit, collecting my wetness and then bringing it back up. He repeats this motion over and over and I squirm around.

I whine once more. “Matt please, I need it. I need you!” I beg.

“Do I need to gag you?” Matt asks as he leans down, his hand reaching up and squeezing my throat lightly. “Or will you be a good girl?”

I gasp through the shirt breaths I’m offered. “I- I’ll be good.” I manage to say.

He presses a kiss to my lips. “Good.” He mumbles. He lets go of my throat and sits up. He then pulls down my panties and throws them on the floor.

Matt uses his tip to collect my wetness once more, using his hand to spread it around his cock. He positions himself at my entrance, slowly inching his way all the way into me.

We’ve done this a thousand times and I’m still not used to his size. I gasp and writhe as he lets me adjust to him. He holds me still by my hips. “Oh, baby. You’re gonna be begging for me to let you cum.” He says as he begins to fuck into me at a fast pace.

His pace gets quicker, he raises my hips to meet his as he pounds into me. I feel the bulge from his cock inside me, the outline showing in my lower abdomen. Matt smirks and presses his hand over the clear bulge, saying “Feel that, baby?”

“You have, ngh, no idea!” I say through moans. Matt chuckles as he continues to pound into me.

His thrusts begin to hit that sweet spot inside me and I moan out loudly. I feel the familiar bind in my stomach begin to form. “Matt, Matt!” I moan out. “I’m gonna cum, please Matt!”

“Not yet.” He says. He thrusts into me just enough to make me edge, before pulling out right before I could reach my orgasm.

“Matt!” I whine. He only chuckles and unties me from the headboard. He lays down next to me. “What are you doing?” I ask as I sit up.

He pulls me over to sit on top of him. “Ride me.” He says.

“What?” I ask.

“You wanted to fuck so bad, fuck me. Fuck yourself with my cock, darling. Go on, do it.” Matt’s hands find their way back to my hips. He helps me lift myself up and position his cock at my entrance, before I sink down.

I moan out and stay still for a moment to adjust. I move my legs to get a better position to ride him. I lean back and place my hand in his thigh, helping me to steady myself as I raise my hips up and down his length at a slow pace.

Matt groans and grips my hips. “Faster babe, come on. Don’t pretend like you weren’t begging for this just a little bit ago.” He says.

I begin to quicken my pace, bouncing myself up and down his cock. Matt moves one hand to grip my ass cheek while the other stays on my hip, helping me to ride him.

“Fucking love this view.” He grunts out.

I moan softly and reach my hand down to rub my clit, only Matt stops me.

“Not yet.” He says with a groan. I whine lower myself down so he’s all the way in me.

I lean forward and kiss his lips feverishly, grinning down on him to get some friction to my clit. He smirks, knowing exactly what I’m doing.

Matts hands grip my thighs in place as he positions himself to pound upwards into me. I moan loudly as he begins at such a fast pace.

“Matt!” I scream out. “Oh god, Matt!”

“Beg for it baby, beg me to let you cum.” He says as he pounds into me. I feel his cock twitch in me, knowing he’s going to cum. It’s now or never. If I don’t obey him, he won’t let me stop cumming like last time. I’m not sure I can handle that overstimulation again.

“Matt, Matt please let me cum! Please, please Matt, I need to! I need to so badly, Matt!” I beg, tears forming in my eyes from his harsh grip on my thighs and is relentless pounding into my pussy. “God, Matt, please!”

“Since you asked so nicely, and we’re so good to me.” He grunts as he thrusts into me sloppily. “Go on, darling. Cum all over my cock like the food girl you are.” He says into my ear, his breath sending chills down my body as I moan out, immediately obeying him and releasing all over him.

He follows just a few thrusts after. Our white liquids mixed together as he pulls out of me. They spill out of my pussy as he pulls out.

“That’s the best part.” He mumbles against my shoulder.

“What is?” I ask breathlessly.

“Cumming inside you. Maybe I got you pregnant this time.” He smiles.

I shake my head. “Matt, I don’t know that I’m ready for that.”

“But you’d be such a good mother.” He mumbles as he moves us over to lay on our sides. I lay my head on his arm as his hand plays with my hair. “You’re so good with kids.” He murmurs against the top of my head.

“Matt, I want to. Just not right now.” I tell him.

“Okay.” He mumbles. He nuzzles my head against his chest. “Do you need anything?” He asks me.

“Can we just lay here for a bit before we clean up?” I ask.

Matt nods. “Anything for you baby.”

welcome to the illicit affairs chapter, you have been warned enjoy..

P1 P2 P3

paring: y/n and matt sturniolo

Summary:You and Matt are best friends, who occationaly have sex on the low. No string attached, just sex. Well, just sex for him. Little did he know you were falling in love and falling fucking fast.

warnings: smuttt (lowkey nothing major), mentions of not eating, depression, anxiety, drugs, effects of being high, drinking, cursing

first of all i just want to thank you guys so deeply for the love and the never ending requests for the next part of this series. The fact that i wrote this before i had tumblr and was never planning on releasing for others to love, blows my mind. this one is a long one and a rollercoaster, love y'all.

xoxo, Autumn.

Y/n pov

I never thought my body or mind could handle the amount of pain it's endured over these past few days. Never thought the amount of tears that have come out of me was possible either. But here we are. I haven't let my bed in days. I've just been watching reruns of the vampire diares and the notebook feeling sorry for myself. Yeah, I'll admit it. I have nothing else to do but feel what i'm feeling and I think that's the worst kind of punishment you can have.

I heard the door of my room creek open. I glanced over seeing Lucy peek in my room. She smiled. I just looked at her. "Good, you're up" She smiled walking in with a plate of food. I sighed leaning back as she walked up to my bed.

"I made eggs, hash brown casserole, I know how much you love that so I made extra" She smiled up at me. I smiled softly at her. "Bacon and some fruit" She pointed to the plate. "Well-I didn't make the fruit, but I cut it" She said laughing to herself. I just looked at the plate of food.

"You don't have to eat it, but I thought If you did get hungry you could have something good" She said setting the plate down on my side table. "Thanks Luce" I said softly. She nodded but didn't leave.

"I know this is the last thing you wanna hear right now, but how are you doing?" She asked cautiously. I just looked down at my lap. Just hearing the sentence tore my heart in two. I breathed, leaning back.

"Better" I lied. She smiled and nodded. She looked down at my shirt-Matt's shirt. I hadn't taken it off since Lucy gave it back to me that night. It's the only part of him I have left. The only smell of him left in this house. The only thing that I can keep of him. I looked down at the shirt and looked away from her.

"If you need anything-anything at all-" She said looking up at me. "I know Lucy" I breathed, she nodded and started to walk away, but I sat up. "Lucy?" I asked making her turn around. She raised her eyebrows looking at me. "Has-" I bit my lip. "Has he texted you at all?" I whispered. She sighed looking down, before shaking her head slightly. I sighed before nodding.

"Okay I just thought-" I stopped myself. "Okay" I nodded pulling the covers back over me. I let out a breath, before I heard Lucy close the door to my room. I felt tears come on again. He hasn't even tried to reach out. It must really be over. I don't think I can maintain a reality without Matt. I let out a shaky breath as I felt a tear drop onto my nose. I wiped it quickly, imagining it was Matt, telling me everything was going to be okay. But it wasn't and it was never going to be.

I closed my eyes as a silent sob came out as I gripped the T-shirt inhaling his scent. The scent I loved so much. The scent I craved. The scent that was like a drug, because it was his.

-

They said that grief comes in waves. That there are different 'stages' as people say. They say you can go back and forth between stages but they usually most of the time stay in order. It's been almost an entire week since that dreadful night and I've allowed myself to cry and cry and cry. Cry on the shower floor, cry in bed, cry in front of the mirror and I was done with it.

I was still hurt, I felt it in my chest like an elephant laying on my chest, but tonight I wanted to move past what I was feeling. To mask it. To forget about it, even if it was just for a few hours. If I could trick my brain into thinking about anything other than Matt Sturniolo for just a few hours, I didn't care If that meant it would take me twice as long to get over him.

I felt my phone buzz beside me. I stood frozen for a second, before hesitantly picking up my phone. I opened my phone to messages and sighed when I saw a text from Tommy.

from:Tommy Boy

Ayo Y/n/n, party tonight at Zao's place. It'd be cool if you came be there or be 🟥

I shook my head and smiled at the text. Tommy. An old friend of mine, we have been friends since high school. I've known him for like forever. We've always been close but ever since I started seeing Matt, we stopped hanging out so much. That and the fact that he's a hard-score stoner. Not really my vibe, but he was always a good friend and fun to be around nonetheless.

That was until Matt was around him and that whole thing went down about 2 months into our friends with benefits thing.

"Shut the fuck up" I died laughing pushing Tommy's chest. Tommy laughed looking down. Matt stood beside me on my left while Tommy spoke in front of us with a joint in between his finger.

"I swear you did. You looked the guy in the eyes and said that If his pull out game was a strong as his attitude maybe he wouldn't have knocked Sarah up" Tommy said reminiscing on an old story from high school. I wiped tears from my eyes as I laughed. I shook my head.

"I was drunk" I stated. "Still a badass move" He said taking a rip from the joint. I looked up at Matt, who's eyes were fixated on Tommy. "Why don't you ever come around anymore Y/n/n? The guys miss you. Even Blake, who you shitted on so hard." Tommy laughed. I rolled my eyes smiling.

"You're the only girl cool enough to smoke with, everyone else is so uptight nowadays" He sighed. I glanced up at Matt who's eyes were still on Tommy. I sighed looking down. "You know life lately is crazy. I've just been caught up in shit" I said looking at him. He nodded looking down and then at Matt.

"Or caught up in your little boyfriend"  He motioned to Matt. I glanced at Matt who's jaw was hard. "Oh we're not-" I started to say. "We're not together" Matt said over me. I looked at him, but he didn't look down at me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked back at Tommy.

"Yeah" I said quietly. Why did that kind of sting?  Tommy looked between us. "Dude, you're an idiot. If she'd give me the chance, I'd hop on that a long time ago" Tommy said taking another hit. Matt bit the inside of his cheek, his chest raising. I looked over at Tommy.

"Tommy" I felt my face go red. He rolled his eyes. "Oh come on y/n/n, I was kidding. You rejected me out-the-bat freshman year. I got the memo. I'm just saying you're a hot chick either way." He chuckled. I looked over at Matt who grabbed my arm slightly and pulled me away. I waved a slight wave at Tommy who smiled shaking his head.

I turned to Matt who's face was hard. "Matt" I said through gritted teeth as he dragged me back inside. He let me go and stopped in front of me. "What the fuck?" I whispered up at him.

"You can't hang out with him anymore" He said looking down at me. I scoffed. "Excuse me?" I asked raising my eyebrows. He looked to the side before back down at me. "He's a dickhead and did you see the way he was looking at your tits?" He asked briefly looking down at my chest. I glared at Matt.

"You mean the way you've been staring at my tits all night?" I asked raising my eyebrows. He rolled his eyes. "He wants to fuck you Y/n, I can see it in the way he looks at you" He said shaking his head, as if it was my fault. I shook my head. "Tommy's been my friend forever Matt" I breathed.

"I don't like the way he looks at you" he sighed looking down at me. I smiled looking up at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Matt are you jealous?" I smiled. He rolled his eyes. "No I'm just telling you that he looks at you the way I do" He said softly. "Hm" I hummed pulling him against me.

"Does that make you mad?" I whispered. He just looked at me. "Because you seemed a little mad back there" I said smiling. "I just want to be the only name you're screaming for the time being" He breathed. I rolled my eyes and released my arms and started to walk past him.

"You're ridiculous" I shook my head. He grabbed my waist and pulled me back in front of him effortlessly. "If you want to go around fucking random guys, go do it. I'm not telling you not to." He said pressing against me. "I'm just saying you and I both know they don't know how to please you the way I do. They don't know where to hit the spot that makes you see stars. They don't know that you like it when you can't walk the next day. You and I both know the only eyes you want staring at your tits are mine." He said into my ear. I swallowed as he leaned in front of my face.

"Tell me you won't hang out with him anymore and I can make all those things happen right now princess" He whispered. I blinked at him as he tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. I nodded slowly as I looked into his dark eyes.

He reached up sqeezing my jaw, opening my mouth. "Didn't hear you" He said. "I won't see him anymore" I said breathlessly. He smiled. "Good" He breathed before connecting our lips.

I blinked, attempting to forget the memory. This was what I was talking about. A break from the thoughts. Old friends. It would be nice. I texted Tommy back.

To: Tommy Boy

Weirdo, guess i'll see you there 🥱

I stood up, throwing my sheets off me and ripping the shirt from my body discarding it on my bed. I looked up walking over to my mirror. Looking at myself. I leaned in, looking at my face. My eyelashes were still wet and my cheeks slightly a pink color from the tears. I put on the most convincing smile. Pretty. I leaned back looking at my body, investigating it. Pretty.

I smiled letting out a breath before walking over and turning on my speaker. I shuffled through my playlist landing on love is embarrassing by Olivia Rodrigo. I played it loudly through the speaker before looking through my closet, not thinking about anything other than the sounds screaming through my speaker.

"I told my friends you were the one after I'd know you like a month"

"and I stayed in bed for like a week, when you said space was what you need. Waited by my phone like a-"

"GOD DAMN FOOL!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and shook my head as I danced around my room. I smiled as the song played, this felt good. I held up tops in the mirror before landing on a new one I had just got last week. I jumped up and down as the song played, swinging my head around, singing along. I pulled the top over my head as I moved over to pick out some jeans.

"love's embarrassing as hell" I sang to myself. 

I suddenly heard my door crack open. Lucy walked in with her eyes wide as she watched me slide the jeans on smiling.

"Get dressed!" I said over the music with a smile. She looked at me concerned. "Y/n, you're scaring me" She said withe straight face. I rolled my eyes and smiled walking over to her. "Come on, do you want me to be sad forever in here or do you want to go out and be normal?" I asked looking down at her. She just looked up at me, like she wasn't sure if i was serious.

She glanced to my speaker

"and I'd give up, I'd give up everything-" I smiled and jumped to the music, walking over to her. "And i'm planning out my wedding, for some guy i'm NEVER MARRYING!" I yelled moving around her. She just stared at me like I was a freak, and maybe I was, who cares. I sighed looking at her as the song ended.

"No tears, No sadness, No M-" I stopped myself, swallowing. She raised her eyebrows at me. "I'll let you wear my Chanel top" I said suddenly. Her mouth fell open. "Wow, you're serious" she said looking at me. I nodded. She smiled. "Deal" She breathed running to my dresser.

-

Matt pov

I heard my door crack open, but I didn't move. Normally If I just didn't move they would think I was asleep and they would leave.

"Nick went to drop Nate and Justin off at the airport" I heard Chris's voice say. I didn't say anything and I heard him sigh. "Matt" He stated. I rolled over and looked at him. He looked sadly down at me.

"You can't stay in here forever" He said walking fully into my room, making me groan. He stopped and crossed his arms. "You've been in here all week long, in the dark, alone" He said looking down at me. I just looked up at him. "It's getting sad" He breathed. I looked away from him.

"Are you done now?" I asked pulling the blankets back over to me. I heard him walk over and sit on my bed. I looked over at him. "Did you text Lucy?" He asked quietly. I looked down before pulling up my phone and pulling up the texts

to: Lucy (Y/n/n roomie)       Aug. 1  11:48pm

Lucy, is she okay? Please I just need to know if she's okay.

to: Lucy (Y/n/n roomie)      Aug. 1 11:52pm

I need to talk to her. She didn't give me a chance. I have to make sure she's okay.

to: Lucy (Y/n/n roomie)   Aug. 2    1:03am

I know she likes to go home to her parents when she's stressed. Is she there? Is she at the apartment? Is she doing okay? Does she want to see me?

to: Lucy (Y/n/n roomie)   Aug. 3  11:58am

Lucy. Im dying here just tell me that she's okay. I don't want to overwhelm her, does she want to see me?

to: Lucy (Y/n/n roomie)    Aug. 4    3:07pm

I can't live without her please.

Chris looked up from the phone after scanning the messages. "Not a single response?" He asked, I shook my head. He sighed. "Maybe you should just text Y/n" He said looking at me. I looked up at the ceiling, feeling my heart clench even at her name. I let out a breath.

"I can't say what I need to say over the phone to her. She won't listen unless I make her" I said softly. Chris looked at me and sighed. "Then make her listen" He said standing up. "You said you wanted to fix this. You're saying you don't want to lose her, but you're letting her walk away" He said shaking his head. I bit my lip, he was right.

"What do I do?" I asked looking at him. He bit his lip, thinking. "Do you remember what happened when her dog died last year?" He asked looking down at me. I furrowed my eyebrows. "Chris I'm serious-" I said sitting up. He shook his head. "Think. How did she react?" He said looking at me. I squinted and looked down at my lap.

"She loved that damn dog like a child, she was devestated" I explained, remembering. He nodded. "She cried for a week straight and then she-" I paused sitting up. He raised his eyebrows at me smiling. "She snapped out of it for a couple hours and made us all go downtown to some party, she said it was how she processed things like it was like clockwork" I breathed looking at him. He nodded as he looked down at his phone.

"There a party on sunset, her old friends are there. If I had to guess that's where she'd be" Chris said standing up. I stood up quickly running to get my keys.

-

Y/n pov

"Drink" I said handing Lucy a bottle. She shoved it away from herself. "I'm driving remember" She shook her head. I sighed. "How am I suppose to have fun without you drinking withe me?" I whined. She rolled her eyes. "I'm here to make sure you don't do anything stupid" She smiled. I rolled my eyes before looking around.

"Like what?" I asked turning back to her. "Like hooking up with a random guy, or puking everywhere" She said narrowing her eyes at me. I sighed before pointing to guy. "Why? He's cute" I frowned looking at the boy. She lowered my hand. "He looks like Matt, and I'm not listening to you cry tomorrow morning after you regret it" She said looking at me. I rolled my eyes before bringing the bottle back up to my lips. She lowered the bottle.

"Slow down" She said softly. "Drink every time you say the M-word. I've made it my little game" I smiled sarcastically. She rolled her eyes. "I appreciate you wanting to move on Y/n/n, but you're deflecting. You realize you have to process these emotions at some point right?" She asked, making me walk away from her.

"I can't hear you! To busy deflecting!" I yelled as I walked away. I rolled my eyes as I set down the bottle and walked towards the bathroom. I knocked on the door and sighed as I waited. I saw a guy start to walk up to me. I just looked at him.

"Hey" He breathed. "Hey" I said looking down. "Where are you from?" He smiled looking down at me. I looked to the side and then back up at him. "Were in California aren't we?" I asked looking at him. He furrowed his eyebrows and smiled. "So?" He asked. "Use context clues" I smiled sarcastically. He laughed and looked down.

"I'm Thomas" He held out his hand. I looked down at his hand. "And I'm not interested" I smiled. He dropped his hand. "Boyfriend?" He asked. I sighed looking down. "Complicated" I explained. He nodded. I suddenly felt a wave of guilt come over me.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to be rude, I've just had a hard week" I sighed. He shook his head. "You're okay, I get it. This city will get to you" He laughed. I nodded smiling. He reached in his pocket. "I got something to take you're mind off it if you're interested" He said holding two pills. I looked down at them, suddenly feeling nervous. I don't take pills like that.

"Oh, No thanks I don't do that kind of stuff" I said shaking it off. He shrugged. "You should" He said popping one in his mouth. I just stared at him. "You're kind of beautiful to be in something that's complicated" He said smiling down at me. I smiled, when all of the sudden I felt eyes on me.

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked around me, feeling like I was being watched. I scanned the room before my eyes stopped. Brown hair, blue eyes, black t shirt, staring at me. Matt. My heart dropped to my toes. We stared at each other. He just looked at me from across the room. My body lit on fire. I couldn't do this. No. I can't. He can't-

My body filled with panic. I had to get out of here. I looked back up at the boy standing in front of me. "Nice to meet you, I have to leave" I said turning without waiting for a response, I didn't look back at Matt as I sped in the opposite direction and walked down a hallway, walking out onto the back porch. The cold air hit me as I attempted to breath. Air. Where was the air?

"Y/n/n?"

I turned quickly and I saw Tommy sitting in a chair, along with Blake, Tyler, and a few other people I knew. I turned around and didn't see anyone following me, so I looked back at him a soft smile.

"Hey" I breathed. He stood up off the chair and walked over to me wrapping me in a hug. "Thanks for coming, It's good to see you" He smiled letting me go. I nodded smiling. "Come sit" He said motioning to the open chair. I nodded looking back towards the door, still nothing. I walked over seeing a bunch of weed, rolling papers, and trays laid out on the table in front of everyone.

I raised my eyebrows and looked at him. "Should have known I'd find you out here" I laughed lightly. He smiled and nodded as he sat down next to me and picked up the joint he was previously rolling.

"Where's that little white boy you're always with?" He asked looking up at me briefly before going back to the blunt focusing on it. I looked down at his hands and then towards the door. "Uh" I breathed. I leaned back in the chair. "I don't know" I lied shrugging. He raised his eyebrows. "I didn't scare him off too badly did I?" He chuckled, making me smile. I shook my head.

"No, he just uh-we don't-" I stopped biting my lip. He nodded looking at me. "Ah, I see. No more white boy" He said. I sighed looking at the table. "No more white boy" I said back. He smiled. "Good. Now you can hang with me again" He smiled. I laughed and shook my head at him.

He finished the blunt and held it over to me. I shook my head scrunching my nose. "You know I don't smoke" I said pushing his hands away. "Yeah you're pussy ass lungs can't handle it" He chuckled. I rolled my eyes. "Whatever Tommy" I smiled. He leaned up reaching in his bag. "If you want to get high though, me and my buddy made these this morning" He said throwing a plastic bag of brownies on the table in front of us.

I looked at the bag and then to Tommy. Ediables. He looked at me as he lit the joint in his hands, inhaling it. I shrugged. "I don't know Tommy" I breathed. He rolled his eyes. "Sounds like you just went through a shitty breakup no?" He asked raising his eyebrows. I pursed my lips, looking down.

"And you're here to get over that because you wouldn't be here right now if white boy had a say. Am I right?" He asked leaning his hands on his knees. I sighed looking up at him. He shrugged leaning back. "I know you, you're deflecting" He pointed at me smiling. I pushed his shoulder shaking my head.

"Did you drink?" He asked. "A bit" A said quietly. "Then if you take an ediable it just intensifise the drunk part, you'll be good" He nodded. I sighed looking at it. "Just eat the damn brownie y/n/n" Tyler said from the other side of me, clearly high out of his mind. I groaned picking up the bag and staring at it.

Did I really want to do this? What would Matt say? Why wasn't he coming and looking for me? I bit my lip. Does he not care? Why is he here?

I closed my eyes. Get out of your head Y/n. This was the whole purpose of tonight. Forget about it for a little while. Just eat that damn brownie.

I blinked my eyes opened. "Girl, you're freaking me out" Blake laughed. I glared at him. "Shut up, don't you have a baby at home?" I said his face dropped as Tommy and Tyler laughed.

I opened the bag and took the brownie out. I looked at it before taking a bite and chewing it. Tommy just looked at me as I swallowed it. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Damn girl that was a big ass bite" Tyler laughed. "Ew, it tastes like grass" I laughed. Tommy nodded. "That's what it is dumbass" he said making me laugh. I sighed and leaned back. This would be good for me. Wouldn't it?

-

Matt pov

I practically ran out of my car and up to the front of the house, my heart beating out of my chest. Was she safe? Was she okay? Was she talking to another guy? My breathing was unsteady as I walked through the front door. My anxiety was at an all time high. I didn't even know if she was here. Something in my chest told me she was. I took in a breath as the crowd of people around me appeared.

I glanced around, looking for her. Face after face, nothing. I didn't recognize anyone. I swallowed as I moved through the crowd. How did I let it get to this point? I waited too long. My heart pounded against my chest, I could hear it in my ears. Please be here. Please be here. I moved by some people, one girl attempting to talk to me but I completely ignored her.

Y/n.Y/n.Y/n. Was the only thing I could hear in my mind. The music blaring so loud but I couldn't even hear it as I looked at girl after girl. None of them her. I walked into the kitchen, letting out a breath.

"Where are you?" I whispered glancing around the room. I walked past a group of people moving into the living room. My eyes scanned the room. My heart dropped when I saw her. She was leaned up against the wall, looking down. She looked so beautiful. Her jeans hugging all the right curves and her eyelashes batting slightly down, her hair tied up to show her face. I let a smile come to my face. Mine.

"Thank you God" I whispered. I let out a breath, before stepping forward but stopping when I saw a guy approach her. I stood frozen. My feet practically cemented to the ground as anger rose on my face.

I saw his mouth move, she glanced up at him responding and then looking back down. I just watched them from across the room. He spoke again, her face screaming 'i'm not interested' as she glanced away from him as she spoke.

Her sarcastic smile, made me smile. She wasn't interested. I let out a breath. He held out his hand but she just looked down at it and then back up at him with a straight face. This boy has no idea what he's doing clearly. She kept speaking to him and I saw him reach into his pocket saying something and holding two pills out in his hands. My heart dropped along with my smile.

Y/n don't. My mind screamed, but my feet wouldn't move. She looked down at his hands and shook her head. He shrugged before taking one.Y/n walk away. I wanted to scream. He said something making her smile. My face tightened, then her eyebrows furrowed as she glanced around the room, before her eyes landed on me.

The power of her gaze, of her acknowledgement almost making me sick. I swallowed as I saw the expression her face change, her face turned white as she stared back at me. We just looked at each other as I saw a million thoughts race through her head. She quickly turned back to the guy in front of her and said something before bolting in the opposite direction.

My heart dropped. No, please. I stepped forward, but felt someone grab my arm, pulling me backwards. I turned around glaring when I saw it was Lucy.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She snapped. I let out a breath, looking down at her. "Remove your arm from me now Lucy" I stated calmly. She roughly let go of my arm. "You're lucky i'm not ripping it clean-off dickhead" She spat at me. I pinched the bridge of my nose. There's no way I'm dealing with this right now.

"Seriously. What are you doing here? You need to leave" She crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not leaving" I said shaking my head looking at her. Her face hardened. "She doesn't need this. Not tonight. Not right now. She's trying to move on. Why won't you let her?" She said shaking her head looking up at me. I swallowed. "She's deflecting. She's not moving on. You don't call this moving on" I said motioning to the party around me.

"You don't think I know that Matt? She's my best friend" She sighed looking at me. I turned looking towards the direction she walked. "Don't" Lucy warned making me look back at her. I glared harshly. "Do you know what you've done to that poor girl? She hasn't left her room in a week. She's not talking to me- She's not eating. God, she's not even herself!" She yelled at me. My heart clenched. I looked down at my feet, swallowing imagining what Y/n's been going through completely alone.

"Why didn't you respond to my texts?" I asked looking at her. She sighed looking to the side and then back to me. "Because you don't get to know how she's doing Matt. You don't get to know if she's talked about you or if she wants to see you or any of that shit Matt, because you're not apart of her life anymore. You don't get the priveledge of knowing what's happening with her at all" She shook her head. I bit my lip. She was right. I didn't deserve to know anything.

"Did you tell her I've been texting you?" I asked raising my eyebrows. She just looked at me with pursed lips. "Lucy, come on." I groaned. She shook her head holding her hands up. "I'm not apologizing for it either. It's better for her if she thinks you haven't reached out" She said looking at me. I shook my head letting out a shaky breath.

"You don't understand Lucy. You don't understand anything about us. We're-" I stopped. Why was I sitting here explaining this to her and not searching for Y/n. "I'm not doing this. I'm going to find her" I said turning and walking away. She grabbed my arm again stopping me.

"Not if I can help it, leave Matt. She doesn't want you here" She said glaring at me. I ripped my arm away. "Lucy" I said closing my eyes letting out an angry breath. "No, you can't keep playing this game with her! You're selfish! You're-" She yelled at me.

"I love her goddammit!" I yelled back, her face dropped. I just looked down at her shaking my head. "I'm so fucking in love with her, I can't even think straight" I breathed. She closed her eyes sighing. "You're an idiot Matthew" She breathed calmly. I bit my lip. "Don't you think I know that? I'm trying to fix this" I said feeling tears brim at my eyes. She tapped her foot, looking at me contemplating believing me.

"I c-can't live without her please" I whispered looking at her. She rolled her eyes before looking at me sadly. She licked her lips. "You check upstairs, I'll ask around if anyone saw where she went" She said looking at me with a straight expression. I sighed a breath of relief and smiled.

"Thank you" I breathed. She nodded looking annoyed. "Go" she waved me on. I nodded before turning and running towards the steps. I could barley see, my mind was racing as I ran up the steps of the house. I looked from side to side, seeing people crowding the hallways. I sighed, worry filling my chest. I walked to the bathroom and banged on the door.

"Someone's in here" I heard a girl say. I banged on the door harder. I few seconds later two girls I didn't recognize opened the door with a annoyed expression. "Geez how bad do you have to pee?" One blonde said angrily. I looked behind them, she wasn't in there.

"Fuck" I whispered before turning down the hall, opening a door walking in seeing a group of people sitting and talking. None of them were her. I swallowed walking out without saying anything. Opening door after door, people making out, people doing drugs, people passed out. Not one were her.

I swung one door open to see two people full on having sex. I closed my eyes and slammed the door, trying to delete the imagine from my brain. I shook with disgust. God, I hope that's not what we look like.

I opened the door beside it and saw two people pressed against each other against the wall. My heart dropped, brown hair, jeans. Please, no. Please, no. I froze looking at them. Y/n No please no, don't be you. God please don't let it be her. Not her. Not mine. Someone else's not mine.

The two people pulled apart glaring over at me. Blue eyes, big nose, not her. I sighed of relief, leaning back. "Sorry" I breathed walking out of the room, closing the door. I closed my eyes and sighed.

Y/n, where were you?

-

Y/n pov

"If you think about it science fiction is not really science fiction because the fiction part of it might actually be true, we just don't know it yet" Tyler said looking up. We all looked at him with a blank stare.

"Dude" Tommy laughed leaning back. Blake started dying laughing and I chuckled to myself, shaking my head as smoke circled around me. "I hate this conversation" I laughed. "Then let's talk about you" Tommy said motioning to me. I shook my head leaning back. "Let's not" I smiled. He rolled his eyes.

"You feeling anything yet?" He asked, I shrugged. "Not really" I replied. "Then eat the rest" He motioned to the half finished brownie. I furrowed my eyebrows looking down at it. "Dude" Tyler said looking over at Tommy. "What? She must have a high tolerence" He shrugged. I just glanced between them. I was feeling it a little bit, I was a tad foggy but not high.

"Should I?" I asked looking at him. He glanced over at me. "Are you still thinking about white boy?" He asked taking another hit of his joint. I sighed looking down. His face, eyes, smile, and voice came over my mind like a storm. I bit my lip.

"Eat the brownie" He said clearly knowing my answer. I sighed picking up the brownie eating the rest slowly. Tommy smiled as he went on to talk with the rest of the people around us. We'd been sitting out here for almost 30 minutes now. I engaged in the conversation here and there, but mostly just listened. I was really trying to feel the effects of the entire weed brownie I just ingested.

Now, I feel kind of stupid. Turning to drugs just to forget. I placed my hand against my forehead. God, i'm an idiot. I looked towards the door. I wondered If Matt left. I wondered if he came to see me or happened to be here and saw me and the left. I wondered if he missed me, or at least the sex. God. I leaned back looking up at the sky.

I was calm. I smiled to myself, wait this was cool.

"Y/n/n?"

I looked up and everyone was looking at me. I smiled loosley at them. Tommy chuckled. "You feeling it sweetheart?" He asked. I nodded, feeling myself start to laugh. Tommy shook his head smiling.

I missed Tommy. I wondered if he did want to fuck me though, I wondered if Matt was right. I scrunched my nose. Ew. Thinking about having sex with anyone other than Matt made me physically Ill. I wondered If Matt thought the same thing. Ah, Matt. He's so cute. His eyes were so blue. I loved him so much. Why was I mad at him again?

I blinked slowly, trying to regain my thoughts. Wow, my head hurt. I swallowed leaning up and sitting forward, but my vision came afterwards. I closed my eyes grasping my hands on the sides of the chair, trying to regain my sense of movement. I blinked my eyes open. Fuck. My vision was going in and out of focus and the people around me were here and then they weren't. The voices around me I no longer could hear. The chirping of the crickets around us were no longer chirpping.

I closed my eyes. Focus. You're just freaking yourself out, it's just weed. Just a drug, control yourself. You're stronger than it. I suddenly felt a jolt, as if someone touched me. My eyes shot open as I flinched, I gripped the sides of my chair.

I looked around and everyone looked at me like I was crazy. I looked around, horrified. Tommy leaned into me. "You....Okay?" His voice was slow. I squinted my eyes at him. Why was he talking so slow? I just looked at him trying to understand him. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest. Oh no. Oh god no. I was too aware of my heart beating and I was too aware of my breathing as I attempted to breathe in.

I saw the door open that led out to where we were. I glanced slowly and I saw what looked like Matt, the boy I loved so much. But he wasn't here. Was he? I narrowed my eyes and saw Matt sighed and a worried expression spread across my face. I squinted my face as I gripped the sides of the chair harder, screaming in my head. Fuck.

Matt, help. Matt help me please. Baby. Please. Help, I'm so high. Help, I think I'm dying. I'm freaking out. I can't breathe.

eekkkk live laugh love life uhh see yall tomorrow? (im sorry)

Be Quiet - M.S

As per request! Dom!Matt & in this they’re on tour

A/N: lowkey short I’m sorry don’t hate me

NSFW below, leave if you’re a minor

Being on tour with the boys was incredible, the only shitty thing was the lack of privacy for Matt and I. Our sex life basically going down the drain since tour started. I mean we couldn’t exactly just fuck on our bunk with his brother right across from us. However as I watched Matt brush his teeth, wearing his plaid pyjama pants hanging slightly below his waist and his white tank top, I couldn’t help but get turned on. Watching as his arm flexed as he moved it, paying close attention to his fingers. Recalling in my mind how good they felt inside me. He looks up and makes eye contact with me through the mirror, noticing I was staring and raises an eyebrow at me. I shrug my shoulders in response.

I stand up from the couch, saying goodnight to both Nick and Chris, and climb up into Matt and my bunk, sighing slightly knowing I wouldn’t be getting anything tonight and would likely have to settle for a bathroom quickie at some point tomorrow. Matt joins me shortly after.

“Something got you worked up pretty girl?” He asks while wrapping his arms around me, spooning me.

“Don’t even start Matt, you’re not getting me more turned on than I already am and doing nothing about it” I reply.

“Who says I wouldn’t do anything about it?” He whispers back. I notice his hand slowly creep up my thigh, extremely close to my pussy but he simply rests it there.

“What are you doing?” I say, knowing his brothers were less than another room away. Gasping slightly as his fingers now rest directly on my pussy with him moving them in small circles.

“I’m gonna make you feel good, I know you’ve been wanting this all day. But you have to be quiet okay?” He whispers in my ear, kissing my neck afterwards.

“Okay” I nod back.

“Mm good girl” He responds. Now moving his hand under my panties, his two fingers rubbing down my slits. “So wet already”

“I can’t help it, fuck you look so good and I just want all of you” I whimper out.

“I know I know” He says back.

He moves his fingers upwards, now focusing on my clit. Adding more pressure and moving his fingers in circles, without thinking I let out a whine. Not being able to control it after thinking about this all day.

“I’m gonna have to stop if you can’t stay quiet baby” He mumbles.

“I’ll be quiet I promise please don’t stop” I whisper. Needing him to continue pleasuring me.

He doesn’t respond but instead moves his fingers lower on my pussy again, tracing circles around my entrance and bringing his other hand over to cover my mouth. Pushing on finger into me, I throw my head back. Biting my lip to force myself to stay quiet.

“That’s my good girl. You want me to add another finger?” He smirks.

“Yes Matt please” I whine.

Feeling his other finger enter me, I instinctively open my legs wider and place my own hand over his that’s already covering my mouth. As I do that, he takes his hand off my mouth and moves it to my throat, squeezing it slightly. A moan wanting to escape my lips causing me to push my hand tighter against my mouth.

“F-feels so good oh my god” I say, my voice now below a whisper.

“Yeah? Taking my fingers so well baby, just wait till tomorrow when I’m fucking you senseless” He whispers back.

The thought of that only creating a more intense sense of pleasure within me, craving not just him, but a release. Matt picks up his speed, moving his fingers in and out of me at a much faster pace.

“Listen to that eh? So wet that you can hear each time my fingers go back inside of you” He says.

“M-Matt fuck harder” I whimper.

Taking a minute to adjust his hand, he then proceeds to slam his fingers into me. A gasp leaving my mouth, but due to our hands it was kept quiet, but not quiet enough for Matt not to hear it. I feel him squeeze my throat a bit tighter now.

“That’s feel good baby?” He asks before using his thumb to rub my clit.

“Yes don’t stop don’t stop” I mumble out, feeling my climax almost starting.

“You gonna come for me pretty girl?” He smirks.

“I - yeah fuck Matt” I say.

Matt continues finger fucking me while playing with my clit, the sensation sending me over the edge. As my stomach knots up, I feel myself come. Throwing my head back again and squeezing my eyes shut, Matt’s grip on my throat loosening, and me having to bite my lip to stop myself from moaning out loud.

“Matt I - feels so good holy fuck” I stutter.

“Such a pretty girl coming on my fingers, so patient waiting all day too” He says, leaving kisses along my jaw.

Matt pulls out his fingers, smirking before saying “Open”

I do as he says and he places his two fingers in my mouth, making me lick my juices off of them, before taking them out and placing them in his own mouth.

“Should have ate you out, fuck you taste so good” He sighs