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what the fuck do you think a tumblr is
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Stranger Things
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$LAYYYTER

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some of u should have an OnlyClowns account
what the fuck do you think a tumblr is

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Ye knowe eek, that in forme of speche is chaunge With-inne a thousand yeer, and wordes tho That hadden prys, now wonder nyce and straunge Us thinketh hem; and yet they spake hem so, And spedde as wel in love as men now do.
chaucer, Troilus and Criseyde c. 1380
glossary: eek also and even tho at the time prys great value wonder a cause for astonishment nyce stupid spedde succeeded
You know the form of language, too, can change. Within a thousand years, even the words that were most precious then, seem strange and foolish to us; yet they spoke them so and did no worse in love than we now do.
Showing off the Arapaima I made! (Pattern also made by me)
This was the test of the new pattern and I love her. 🎏💕
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic
like. i'll leave this alone. but HOW are historical romance books not sexualizing the fall of breeches. literally a blowjob flap. not to mention the collars that open to the diaphragm. the décolletage with a wide neckline one swift tug from being revealed. the calves on display. the intimacy of finally seeing the real hair beneath the wig. cmon it's basic storytelling
i love making a post that attracts everyone with usernames like mozartswigsweat and bonnetenthusiast and foppishrake and petticoatsonpetticoatsonpetticoats and dandyismunlimited within 48 hours. blessed webbed site. merry christmas to us all.

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eyes emoji was the perfect invention for nosy people. like 👀 whats going on over here 👀👀 i just wanna know #LetMeKnow 👀👀👀
rocky phm makes me unwell to even think about because what do you Mean he haunted that ship like a ghost clinging to its unfinished purpose for decades until another lonely ghost found him by following a trail of death spanning time and space and they loved each other back to life
like i get the appeal of the angst of being like "ohhh rocky is going to be the eridian equivalent of someone who 'came back wrong' with all the human mannerisms and cultural knowledge he's adopted from and learned to accomodate for grace" but it literally doesn't matter because he came back. and grace is the only one who could have brought him back at all. if you even care.
flicking back through my procreate library what the fuck was this
Colored for dyslexic bloggers. You know I had to do it to em.
Do you love the color of the accessibility ✨
A Silent Conversation, Gregory Wier
follow me
don't worry
she's been waiting
can you hear her beating
worship her
you don't need to know the way back
Sir this is the single sexiest thing I’ve ever witnessed on this website.
It's been years and this post is still making half of tumblr extremely horny for wires
realistic coworker conversation

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today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring
Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?
we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation
So after extensive interrogation I have an update:
my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.
the truth is actually weirder
she’s aware dandelions look like this
she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions
she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?
she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.
gosh I enjoy this website
For comparison, this is a daffodil
See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.
i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)
Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???
This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.
They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!
This is a marigold:
….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u
“buttercups” is a name applied to MANY flowers. in my part of the south it was this one:
imo there’s correct identifications of dandelions, daffodils, easter lilies and marigolds in this thread, but buttercups are simply impossible to agree on and the only solution is for everyone to post pictures of their local buttercups
*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??
Hello I would like to add to the confusion:
That purple fella is a Morning Glory as told by my mothers (texan)
⬆️ morning glory
#amazing work everyone hit the flowers
like many people have said this better than me but no it IS odd that we've come to think of potatoes as so quintessentially european that their presence in historical fantasy where they're anachronistic doesn't jar. and yes people are trying to have the trappings of post-colonial europe without engaging w the icky colonialism part and yes people are neglecting to imagine what a european cuisine without potatoes would be like.
im fully in favour of 'let people have fun w their fantasy world' but is considering how the potatoes got there in the absence of colonialism not a fun exercise? maybe every year the dragon riders go on a great transatlantic potato pilgrimage
perhaps a good way to sum up the issue here is:
if you put potatoes in your medieval european style fantasy world people will by and large not find it jarring and accept it as a normal fantasy trope
if you put, say, black people in your medieval european style fantasy world a whole demographic of people will get very angry and accuse you of breaking their immersion
this is in spite of the fact that black people were a lot more common in medieval europe than potatoes.
Modern society is built upon hundreds of forgotten genocides and massacres, in addition to the ones history has documented. Living today means inheriting a world shaped by the deeds of previous generations and confronting their consequences, whether we wish to or not. The right thing to do is to confront that legacy rather than pretend it does not exist.
*experiences joint pain* we are losing the skeleton war
one of the biggest issues for feminism and indeed society as a whole that i run into a lot is people don't realise just how weird and interesting snakes actually are. they're genuinely incredibly unique as vertebrates with many amazing adaptations to their lifestyle and body type and nobody knows!!!
the other legless lizards are fascinating in a different way because they mostly lack these adaptations to limblessness, but kind of just get along fine anyway
a few interesting things about serpents
Miss Nebet, a spotted python (Antaresia maculosa) who will be serving as our live model for today.
many of these are probably well-known; others have surprised even other snake owners.
Snakes (suborder Serpentes) are lizards (belonging to order Squamata). Snakes are no longer thought to be a group outside of all other lizards; snakes are more closely related to iguanas than iguanas are to geckos, for example. The closest living relatives of snakes are Iguania (for example iguanas, chameleons, and dragons) and Anguimorpha (for example galliwasps, beaded lizards and monitors). Snakes are also relatively closely related to mosasaurs (such as the lovely Platecarpus pictured below), with some proposals suggesting mosasaurs are their closest squamate cousins. The various other legless lizards arise from all across Squamata, and aren't necessarily closely related to eachother or to snakes.
Snakes are almost entirely composed of "torso", with their ribcage extending down the majority (~90%) of their length and only a short neck and tail. The tail begins just after the is usually distinguishable by a slight narrowing and an end to the wide, flat ventral (belly) scales. By contrast, most other legless lizards have long tails making up a large portion of their overall length.
The green bar marks the approximate beginning of the tail, the diagram demonstrates the layout of belly and tail scales in two species. On her request, I have not included an image of Nebet's vent as it would be improper.
Snake ribs are jointed and manipulable, serving a role in movement, constriction and Their flat ventral (belly) scales are independently mobile, and can be raised in sections to create friction or flattened to glide across a surface. Both of these features are lacking in other legless lizards.
Miss Nebet's very cute pink ventral scales.
These unique features allow snakes to use four (conservatively; I have seen categorisations as high as eleven) separate methods of locomotion, combining these different methods in many ways to move across all sorts of surfaces. These methods include lateral undulation, in which the snake exerts muscles all across its body to push against the terrain in a typical serpentine motion, concertina, in which the snake pulls its body into bunches then extends in an accordion-like manner, rectilinear, in which the snake flexes muscles across its length while manipulating its ventral scales to drag itself in a straight line, and sidewinding, in which the snake 'throws' itself at an angle to traverse a slippery surface with little traction. Other legless lizards use simple undulation only, a more basic method of movement involving essentially wriggling in waves.
I have personally seen miss Nebet use all of these methods of locomotion except sidewinding.
Snakes do not 'unhinge' or dislocate their jaws when eating- rather, the lower jaw is split into two halves with a flexible attachment to the skull, allowing them to be independently 'walked' over prey. This allows them to swallow prey items much larger than the size of their head would suggest. Other legless lizards lack this bifurcated jaw, although they typically have very flexible skulls to allow them to swallow larger prey.
An Indian Rock Python (Python molurus) skull demonstrating the bifurcated jaw and Nebet demonstrating its utility in swallowing a mousey.
Snakes possess several unusual sensory organs depending on species. The first is their famous forked tongue. They flick their tongues to collect scents from the air then return it to a special cavity on the roof of their mouth (called the vomeronasal or Jacobson's organ) that allows them to detect chemical information. The fork in their tongue makes the sensing directional. They can also smell 'normally' through their nostrils.
The second of their unusual sensory organs is their heat pits, found in boas, pythons and pit vipers. These special rows of pits on (some) snakes' faces allow them to sense infrared thermal radiation. This adaptation, not found in any other lizard, has evolved independently multiple times across snake species.
Contrary to popular belief, snakes do possess ears and can hear sounds, although they lack visible external ears. They are also sensitive to groundborne vibrations through their jaw. Other legless lizards typically have visible, external ears.
Miss Nebet's forked tongue and heat pits (circled in pink). Scientifically speaking, these can also be referred to as 'charm points'.
These are just a few interesting things about snakes, the most beautiful and lovely vertebrates in the entire world. I haven't even talked about their teeth and fangs, the different kinds of specialised scales they can have, their venom or all sorts of other things. Please say thank you to miss Nebet for taking the time out of her day to have her photo taken for us, and please love and adore all serpents you meet!
it's self-evident

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Amaury "Chocolate Guy" Guichon is undoubtedly an extremely skilled sculptor in chocolate but I think my favorite thing about a lot of his videos is the effort he puts into putting actual dessert food under the sculpture work
So many of his desserts & pastries have at least 5 layers of different textures & flavors. Fruit jams, caramel, cake, creams, mousse, cookies, meringue, crumb layers etc
That's what makes his work truly impressive to me, especially as someone who quickly got tired of the "knife that turns everything into cake" thing, where it was all basic chocolate cake buried under 13 layers of fondant
It takes amaury's work from an impressive stunt to "if I ate that, it would probably be the best thing I'd eat in my whole life"
Amaury Guichon can make you a bunch of bananas that are actually cake, but when you slice open the banana, it's full of something like rum soaked banana bread, caramelized banana slices, and praline crumble, and that's why he's a real one
ok so this is another long shot but a few years ago there was a twitter post (in japanese i think?) that had measurememts for how to make this book stand thing out of cardboard that you could use to double up books and use up more space on shelves
back then i made a bunch of these but by now i lost the pic and dont know how to find the original post anymore
if it comes down to it i can just take one apart and get the measurements from there but i would be very grateful if anyone happens to have the original post or something similar??
don't mind how long it's been since i made this post, anyway i realized that i don't even need to take one apart to get the measurements when i can literally just unfold it and refold it /FACEPALM
so anyway here is the diagram for anyone else who is interested!!
this requires pretty big carboard pieces, if you have a really big box or something you can make it from one piece, but if you don't, you can also just make each of the pieces individually and then tape them together
and then in the end you put it together like this!!
and then when you make a bunch you can put them all next to each other and stack your books like crazy
EVERYONE START GETTING MORE USE OUT OF YOUR SPACE NOW!!!!