stupidstuffiwrote

“he's not coming back, is he?” dean allowed himself to ask. he hadn't wanted to ask, didn't want to know the answer. but he already did. he watched it happen. for once in his life, it felt final. like maybe he wouldn't be back in a few months or more. like it was different from the ways he and sam had come back. he had let himself think Cas would come back, like everyone else had. just like he had done so many times before. he would be back.

but he wouldn't be back.

sam looked up. tired, but not in the same way dean was tired. “dean..” he sounded angry, and broken— grief stricken, maybe. and dean felt those things too, but different. an extra layer that he couldn't name. heartbreak. he didn't want to feel it. “dean, i'm sorry, but you know he's not coming back, he's..” dean didn't listen to the rest of the sentence.

he had been looking for cas everywhere, just not consciously. the way he instinctively reached for a third mug of coffee on the rare days he'd make breakfast. how his eyes would linger on cas’ favorite spot in the library. the nights he'd hug his pillow closer and pretend nothing was wrong. the nights he’d pray to an angel he knew couldn't listen. he's woken up in a cold sweat more often than he would ever admit. dean tried so hard to push it down, to not feel it. to let it go as quickly as possible and grieve in two days. god, why can't grief go any faster? why does he even have to think about this? he's dead, castiel is dead and anything they had is gone. what did they even have anyway?

don't think about it.

the long nights where they’d held each other and fallen asleep in each other's arms.

don't think about it.

the nights sam had been away and they let themselves get lost in the alcohol.

don't think about it.

the words cas had whispered that no one had ever told him. how he handled dean like he was something precious and not the blunt object he'd always been.

don't think about it.

“i’ll watch over you.”

don't think about it.

“dean, you asked what about this is real. we are.”

don't think about it.

“you know i always appreciated our talks, our time together.”

don't think about it.

“i love you.”

don't think about it don't think about it don't think

“goodbye, dean.”

about it don't think about it don't think about it don'tthinkaboutitdon’thinkaboutitdon’thinkaboutitdon’t—

“dean, are you crying?” sam’s voice came from the other side of the table. shit. was he crying? he wiped his eyes a tad more aggressively than he had to. “no, of course not.”

“dean, it's okay to cry.” sam tried to put his hand on dean's shoulder but dean swatted his hand away. dean could be so stubborn sometimes, he swore.

“im fine, sammy. just.. i gotta do something.” he was planning to go to his room, but he didn't. he was trying so hard not to think about everything that two wrong turns later, he found himself in cas’ spot of the library. right in front of the well used seat cas had loved almost as much as him. so dean sat down, and he did the thing he'd been trying to avoid. he thought about it. he thought and thought until he fell asleep in that chair.

two things that castiel loved.

────୨ৎ────

sam

sam had been looking all over the bunker for you, stumbling room to room in his half asleep state. he had taken a midday nap, seeing as they had no cases to attend to and wanted his lover’s attention. when you first started dating, it wasn't often that he would ask for your attention. then, he wanted to seem somewhat tough and manly, but he in the years since, he realized true masculinity came from embracing his wants and communicating them. soon enough, he found you in the library, but you were busy talking to dean. i think he'd grumble a little, hoping you'd hear him and give him attention, but if that doesn't work, he'd start getting more obvious. if it's someone he knows well, like cas or dean, he has no shame in coming up behind you and hugging you. he’ll basically drape himself over you and kiss your cheeks and neck until you acknowledge him. dean will roll his eyes, make a jab about you two being “incapable of keeping it in the bedroom” and find something else to do. Cas will get quiet, whether or not he was in the middle of his sentence is irrelevant, he is very uncomfortable(now he knows how you two feel about him and dean). he’ll either take the first excuse to leave, which range from “i have to go” to “i’m tired, i’m going to leave now”- he doesn’t need to sleep. -or, he’ll stare at you awkwardly until you leave. if he doesn’t know them well or if you’re in public, he’s more subtle, but he’ll get there eventually. he’s big on physical reminders. he’s wrapping an arm around your waist or taking your hand before you’ve even noticed he’s there. if that doesn’t work, he rests his chin on your shoulder and fusses at you until you cave. he’s standing behind you, strong arms around your middle and his low voice in your ear. “babe..” he whines. “c’mon.. please, baby, i just want some attention.” one look at those lethal puppy eyes and it’s over. once he has your attention, he usually just wants to talk, but since you made him work for it.. he expects at least an hour for just you and him.

dean

dean will 100% try to deny it if he gets needy for your attention. thanks to john’s A+ parenting, dean has trouble accepting that wanting attention or to be pampered doesn't make him a sissy. he's very much under the impression that wanting to be loved on is unmanly and not being manly is wrong. you're slowly helping him unlearn those things, but it's slow going. for now, whenever he wants your attention, he tries to make you want attention too. maybe he spends an extra long time petting miracle, in the hopes that you see it and want in on it. or maybe he's up super early to make you miss cuddles. whatever it is, he's trying to get you to initiate so he doesn't have to. it sounds bad, and he feels bad about it, but the ends justify the means for him. either way, you're both getting attention, whats the harm? but you're smarter than that, and you pick up on the pattern after the third time he did it. the next time it happens, you're patient. you wait and wait until he comes to you, and when he does..

“hey, babe?” he calls from your bed. you just finished showering and were cleaning the bathroom, so you looked up and replied: “yeah?” dean ducks his head, pretending to be utterly enraptured by the bed sheets. he speaks hesitantly and quietly, almost to the point of you not being able to hear him. “do you want to watch a movie tonight? and, uh, maybe we could cuddle and stuff, no big deal.” he's right, it's not a big deal, it is a huge deal. you have movie nights all the time, but it's always been something that just sorta happens. after a long hunt, sometimes he'll put on a movie and you'll fall asleep together, but he's never actually asked about it before— not that he has to. you have to hold yourself back from smiling. if you look too happy, he'll get embarrassed and never do it again. “sure. let me just finish cleaning up.” you reply, coolly. you can see him hiding a grin. you’ll get there eventually, it'll just take some time and way too many cowboy movies.

gabriel

gabriel is NEVER subtle about wanting your attention. you’ll be half asleep in your bed, and from the hallway hear: “BAAAAAABE! IM BORED!” he fully expects you to drop whatever you're doing and go hang out with him. once, you were just talking to one of your friends and gabriel appeared out of thin air, snatched you up, and disappeared as quickly as he came. unlike sam and dean, he doesn't believe in gender roles. if he wants to sit in your lap and you're cool with it, he's gonna sit in your lap. if he wants to be on the receiving end and you're cool with it, he’s gonna be on the receiving end. top? bottom? he doesn't care, just whatever feels best for both of you at the time. if he wants attention and can't just snatch you up, he yells for you, thinking you’ll come. when that inevitably doesn't work, he'll start a little game, trying to see how obnoxious he can get away with being. once, he sent you a carrier pigeon despite being two rooms away. the only thing the letter said was: ‘hi sexy’. you had a laughing fit and he sauntered in looking completely proud of himself. if you're not with him, he will occasionally send you a message saying 'don't open this until you get home’ and a photo link. the first time he did it, you thought it was nudes and promptly lost your mind.

...it was a picture of a bird. it's never nudes. he knows when you open the photo and will absolutely make fun of you for it. he always follows it up with ‘maybe when you get home, you can see the real thing’. despite having done this many times, if you ever tried to do the same, he absolutely throws a hissy fit. another thing he loves doing is using his grace to make himself invisible. and if you're talking to someone.. oh, it's over. you can feel his lips on you, can feel the smirk against your skin the and the way his nose nudges your neck. a few strands of his hair gather on your shoulders as he presses open mouthed kisses along your collarbone. his hands are on your waist and you can feel the unevenness of his breath on your collarbone as he laughs. the person you're talking to is really confused. why are you so red? why— how is your neck wet???

crowley

crowley, similar to dean, views love as a weakness. his mother taught him that relying on someone would set him up for failure. but then he met you. you flew in the face of everything he thought he knew about love, so he put a ring on you as quickly as he possibly could. he's a self proclaimed diva, and now that he has you, he's lost all shame about it. you're his perfect little spouse, how could he not? if he wants your attention, he isn't afraid to ask for it. on more than one occasion, he's walked right up to you and kissed you without warning. he will do this in public as well. he does it all the time, honestly. in the middle of the day, before bed, in front of the winchesters. especially in front of the winchesters. he just adores showing you off. you can just be talking to sam about the weather, and before you've fully registered what's happening, his tongue is down your throat. not that you mind. he will always get you the fanciest clothes money can buy and whatever else looks unfathomably expensive. i don't think he’d outright say ‘i want attention’ unless you really make him, but there will be signs. you stopped having much personal space a long time ago, but if crowley wants your attention, then it completely vanishes. he saw you in the hallway and went to hug you. in the middle of the room. for no apparent reason. “hello, love.” he’ll say after five minutes of just holding you. “hi.” you reply, a little confused but content nonetheless. you stand there like that until your legs get too tired to hold you up. like i’ve said, in public, he just can't help doing the most extravagant things you can think of, but in private, he's quieter with his love. no less passionate, only not as loud. some nights, he doesn't sleep at all so he can feel you laying against him for longer. even then, he insists you spend the whole day in bed. it's all so new to him, loving someone, getting jealous, smiling when he sees you, just being loved in general. it's overwhelming to him. but he can't let go now that he has it.

────୨ৎ────

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who will randomly run up behind you and and hop on your back. he expects you to drop everything and give him a piggy back ride. you do.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who grumbles at you if you ever touch his hair, but you both know he loves it.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who picks you up and twirls you around every time you come home.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who is multiple millennia old, and will come running if you need him to kill a spider. he acts like a knight.

٠࣪.✦➤ “worry not, your highness! i shall vanquish this threat immediately!”

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who, while still on one knee from his knight act, will laugh for a good while before turning to you with the sweetest smile.

٠࣪.✦➤ “as your knight, i vow never to let you fall into harm’s way. i love you, your highness.” and he kisses your hand. it's completely unexpected from him, so much so that you need a moment to process what just happened.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who insists on five more minutes for hours, despite not needing to sleep.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who is an absolute pervert about you.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who doesn't believe in gender roles and will be the bottom whenever he wants.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who is still working on not overwhelming you with his insane stamina.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who is always open to trying new things in the bedroom and is willing to try whatever you like.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who will beg you to pull his hair during sex. it earns you the loudest whimpers from him.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who always takes you by the hand right before he finishes and puts your fingers on his wings.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who keeps his wings out around you. he loves when you touch them, since it's an actual part of him and not just his vessel.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who will stay awake, sitting up in bed and staring at the wall as he tries to understand how you managed to take him by surprise.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who after being freed from asmodeus, wants to see you first.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who cries when he sees you again for the first time.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who feels like the luckiest angel alive because you haven't moved on yet.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who just wants you to hold him for hours and hours.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who's first words in years were used to tell you how he loves you.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who keeps repeating just that over and over until his voice is shot again.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who kisses you and kisses you as soon as his lips heal.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who won't talk to anyone but you for the first few months.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who refuses to be away from you for any amount of time.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who spends all his time with his safe space, you.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who's slowly learning to trust people again, thanks to you.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who keeps finding new ways to thank you.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who reads you the love letters he wrote for you over the past seven years.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who will just crawl into your lap and fall asleep there.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who's acting more like himself because it makes you smile.

٠࣪.✦➤ gabriel, who adores you even more now that he's back.

────୨ৎ────

sam

sam always knew he wanted kids one day, it was a dream he'd had since his days at stanford. but he’d wanted them when it was safe for them and he'd left the hunting life behind. not now. getting the call that he had a child somewhere in the world was jarring. his entire world tilted on its axis. according to the agency, you had been born a few years ago and your mother had recently passed, giving him sole custody as the father. sam had a million questions— how had this happened? he wasn't like his brother, who slept with any reasonable woman he came across. he wasn't inexperienced either, but he was careful. he always always insisted on using protection and pulled out on time, every time. but he supposed there was always that one percent chance, and that must've been you. but that didn't answer his other questions. who was your mother? how old were you? where was he when you were born? how had your mother passed? was it because of something supernatural? how did they know he was the father— how had they even found him on this random burner phone??? but he had to push that aside, because now he had to drive god knows where to take a paternity test for a child he's never met before. he tells dean and cas first, and they both go with him to take the test. when he first sees you, the need to take the test completely vanishes. you look so similar to him, your eyes, your hair, your little nose. there's no doubt about it in his mind. you're his. he takes the test anyway and it's confirmed, you're his daughter.

when you get back to the bunker, everything is a little awkward at first. he's been raised completely by men as a man, so he has no idea what to do with a little girl. he tried to ask dean for help once, seeing as dean had always been good with kids, but dean has no clue what to do either. he's only ever taken care of boys, so this is uncharted territory for him too. cas, on the other hand, is enamored with you. he's always watching over you while you sleep and lingering nearby. he doesn't have much experience with children and he's determined to learn. sam throws himself into every book and article about children he can. he sort of treats it like a hunt he needs to research. he thinks if he can find all the answers, then he'll be prepared for any situation. he is sorely mistaken. the first time you get a cut, he is utterly out of control. he treats you like you're dying, running around the bunker and looking for every piece of medical equipment they own. by the time he's sure he has everything he needs, you've already stopped bleeding and long since stopped caring. eventually, he abandons the books and comes to understand that parenting will always be confusing and difficult, no matter how much research he does. instead, he focuses on trying to raise you better than his father raised him. the first time you called him 'daddy’, you were watching a movie in his room. it was boring to you, as it was about grerk mythology, and you were falling asleep against his chest. you muttered a little ‘g’night, daddy..’ and dozed off. sam stared at you in shock for a second or two, and totally completely 100% did not cry a little.

dean

honestly, he probably should've expected this. after what happened with emma(the demon cult baby he accidentally created and who tried to kill him), he probably should have taken it as a warning to stop sleeping with random women in case they got pregnant. but of course, he didn't. you arrived on the bunker's doorstep with a note(cliche, i know). the note was from your grandmother, who explained what was going on. basically, dean had gotten a fellow hunter pregnant, and she'd died in childbirth. wanting nothing to do with the child and the man who'd indirectly killed her daughter, your grandmother tracked him down and left him to figure out the rest. you were now the second baby girl he'd unknowingly fathered, which meant he wasn't as surprised as any normal person would have been when he found out about you. but that's not to say he wasn't surprised at all, he absolutely was. at least with emma, he didn't have to stick around to take care of her, but you? you were so tiny, so unaware of the ugly parts of the world, unaware of how you’d even ended up here. not to mention, you were beautiful. dean didn't think he'd ever do the whole ‘my child is the most beautiful thing on the planet’ but he totally did. you were just so small and sweet and precious, and you were his. his daughter. he knew right then that he'd never get tired of it. so, he took you inside and told everyone the situation.

it took a little getting used to, but the others made it easier. sam read to you every night, endless stories of princesses in towers and knights on epic quests until you fell asleep. and Cas was there every time you fell. he would rock you back and forth, whispering reassurances and words of love long after he'd already healed your wounds. it was dean himself who had the hardest time adjusting. he had no experience with little girls, no idea what they liked or how they operated. luckily, you were good at communicating your needs and wants. so, he learned. he learned to play dolls, he learned to put your hair in pig tails, he learned what clothes to buy for you. slowly but surely he understood, and he would keep learning to make sure his little girl got the life she deserved. the first time you called him ‘daddy’ is a moment he has on recording and still treasures to this day. you were talking at a very early age, but you had yet to say any real words. he held the camera in front of you, trying to get you to say ‘dada’ for him.

“come on, baby girl. you can do it. say dada for me. i'll even let you play with my beard if you do.” your version of ‘playing’ with his beard was more like pulling as hard as you could and laughing at his face when he winced. dean had long since stopped caring about his facial hair, too busy chasing after a little girl with no regard for her own safety. he had sounded out the word over and over, watching your little face scrunch up in concentration(or maybe annoyance). after multiple attempts to eat his camera, you finally said it. “dada..” you cooed as you reached for him. dean broke into loud laughter, yelling for sam and cas to come. he scooped you up and spun you around. he tried to get you to say it again, but you didn't, so he resorted to showing the video to everyone he knew.

castiel

cas, or ‘steve’ at the time, found you hiding in one of the lower shelves behind some toilet paper. you’d fallen asleep there and he'd ended up closing with you still inside. he had seen you around before, and he knew you were homeless. you had come inside hours ago to try to get some AC and ended up falling asleep. his first instinct was to wake you up and take you outside, but he hesitated. he didn't technically have a home either, as he lived in the back of the Gas-N-Sip, and surely it would be better to be homeless together than to be homeless alone. he scooped you up, still not fully understanding of the fact that it was a little odd to pick up a random child he doesn't know, and carried you to his makeshift living area in the back. over time, his newfound humanity made him feel paternal toward you. he would hold you in his arms when you had nightmares, and he would gently tuck your hair behind your ear when you dozed back off. you were so peaceful, so sweet, and now that he was human, it was only worse. there were these weird instincts telling him to keep you safe from harm, and he was unable to ignore them. when he returned to the bunker, he took you with him. no matter how many times sam or dean told him the bunker was no place for a child or that it was a bad idea, he refused to get rid of you. he didn't recognize it as love, love was and is a very complicated emotion for him, but he did love you. he brought home things he knew that you would like, bought you clothes, made you dinners. he was your father in every way that mattered, and he was finding himself increasingly pleased with that fact. the boys awkwardly and somewhat reluctantly took their roles as your uncles, stumbling their way through tea parties and dolls. once, you dressed dean up in your little hats and scarves and sam laughed his ass off. he still has a picture of dean that's set as his contact photo. the first time you called Cas ‘dad’, you were brushing your teeth before bed and he passed by the door. you called out to him, saying: “g’night, dad!” your voice was muffled by the toothbrush and toothpaste in your mouth, but he caught it. he froze up halfway through the hallway, an involuntary smile wormed its way across his face. “what was that, honey bee?” he asked when you came out of the bathroom. you repeated yourself, and he grinned. after that, he picked you up and carried you to bed where he stayed and watched over you until morning came.

gabriel

he didn't mean to get her pregnant. gabriel can't help it that he's so irresistible, women just throw themselves at him, it's not his fault! when he found out that he was going to be a father, and a father to a nephilim no less, he was floored. he knew the mother wouldn't survive the birth, but at least he'd get to have a nephilim who he could have in his back pocket just in case. he wasn't particularly attached to your mother, but he kept her protected. he wanted to see you, which meant nothing could happen to her. eventually, she gave birth and you came into the world. when gabriel saw you, all thoughts of using you for protection went straight out the window. you were the most precious thing he'd ever seen. you were tiny and you had a little gummy smile and best of all, you were his daughter. he actually giggled when he first saw you, a happy, giddy little noise that he had no control over. he suddenly realized he owed your existence to a now dead woman, and his expression dimmed. he had felt bad about it sure, but now that you were here, he began to understand what she'd done for you— for him. he whispered a quiet little ‘thank you’ before he left the hospital room, you in tow. gabriel is an archangel, so he was pretty sure he could handle anything the world threw at him. he thought parenting would be a breeze. unsurprisingly, he's completely wrong. he prides himself on looking good(not that he has to try very hard), but one week in? his hair is a mess, he somehow has dark circles under his eyes despite not needing to sleep, and his clothes look suspiciously similar to the ones he wore at the beginning of the week. eventually, he adapts, and stops looking like a hot mess. but after that, he has to worry about the huge target on your back. he doesn't want to leave you at home alone but he doesn't want to take you with him into the world. he really doesn't want to leave you with a babysitter, as he doesn't know of any that are equipped to handle a creature so powerful that it could level cities with a sneeze. well.. that's not necessarily true actually. he does know of one.

“hey, cassie!! uncle-niece bonding time! kay, bye!”

that's right, he plops you into Cas's arms and leaves as quickly as he came. despite everything, he trusts Cas to take care of you for a bit. the whole reason Cas rebelled in the first place was because he cared too much about humans, so gabriel has faith that cas will at least do his best.

crowley

crowley had been incredibly lonely for many many years, but he'd never really cared until he was pumped with human blood. he's like a girl on her period, crying occasionally, emotional, and addicted to human blood. okay, maybe that last one is only applicable to him. in the worst of his depression, he does something unprecedented. he used a part of his soul to create something new, a new life. so yes, technically he gave birth? or maybe it's more like asexual reproduction? it was a weird process, okay? he doesn't fully understand it himself. the important part is, he had devised new life, a baby. something neither infernal nor divine. something that was uniquely his own creation. okay, maybe it was a little infernal, it had originated from him after all, and nothing about him wasn't. but it didn't matter that much to him anyway, it was his. it, or as he found, she was already babbling. upon closer inspection, she looked to be about 7 months old, and utterly adorable. you had a little button nose, big eyes, a gummy smile.. crowley had never liked children much, but he could make an exception for this one. when the boys got back to the bunker and found a literal baby, it was safe to say they were confused. at first they thought crowley had somehow gotten out and stolen you, but when they checked the camera footage.. you were apparently crowley's biological child. it honestly shouldn't have shocked them as much as it did, considering how hectic their lives were. once, the boys had tried to take you out of there and to an actual room in the bunker, but you cried and cried until they gave you back to crowley. speaking of, crowley himself was enamored by you. the human blood had him much more sentimental than usual and you were just so disarming. he’d never admit to it, but he has sung you lullabies before. one night, you were having trouble falling asleep and he hummed a lullaby for you. minutes later, sam came to check on you and crowley looked ready to die. to which, you giggled. he does a complete 180° when you're not alone, holding you tightly against his chest and glaring daggers at whoever came in like the person was seen to snatch you up. he always pesters the boys about giving him better conditions for your sake, telling them that you need space and shouldn't have to be without your father. he does it half because he wants to be let out and half because he genuinely wants better things for you. the only experience he has with child raising is his son from hundreds of years ago, and not to mention that you're a little girl. but he makes do. he sits you on his lap and fixes your hair all pretty, holding you up in his arms while he admires his messy attempt at pig tails. when you said ‘dada’ for the first time, he just stared at you for a solid 2 minutes. then..

“what was that, love?”

after he got you to say it again(and again and again and again), he began to cry. and he didn't stop crying until the boys came back from a hunt. he finally started to feel loved because of you, and he was now determined to do everything in his power to make sure you feel that too.

────୨ৎ────

sam

i don't think sam gets wet dreams very often, as i don't think his libido is very high. certainly not as high as his brother. but even then, he has his moments. sam usually sleeps on his side, that way he could hold onto you. he absolutely refuses to sleep on his back, less he wakes to drops of blood on his forehead and the ceiling having a face. plus, he can hold you so much easier on his side. if he wakes from a nightmare, he's immediately reminded that he's with his lover and that said lover is safe and sound in his arms. he’ll kiss your forehead and go back to sleep those nights. but tonight? he's not even fully awake when you notice the sluggish way he's grinding his hips against you. your eyes fly open when you register what's actually happening. he's mouthing at your neck, whispering something about how much he loves you— among other things. even half asleep and horny, he's gentle with you, praising you like you're the most precious thing he has(you are.). “sam, hey.. hey, baby, you're asleep.” you whisper, coaxing him out of his dream before he busts a nut in his sleep. he's always been a light sleeper, so it doesn't take a lot of effort to wake him. he apologizes about 15 times before he can even begin to form words other than ‘oh my god, i’m so sorry—’. he's mortified with himself, feeling like a hormonal teenager all over again. he asks you over and over again if you want him to sleep on the couch, telling you that it's totally fine if you do and that he won't be mad at all. when you repeatedly refuse and tell him he's not in trouble, he starts to relax. well.. mostly relax. there's still the situation of the problem in his pants. he's not gonna be able to sleep for a while with that bothering him. by the look in his eye, he wants to ask you to help him with his little issue, but he already feels awful about the whole thing and he doesn't want to force this on you. but you're more than willing to bridge that gap for him. he has his needs, and you're happy to accommodate that.

dean

dean's sex drive is definitely higher than sam’s, but i still don't think he has wet dreams often. i think dean's the type to have you lie on his chest when you guys go to bed. he likes feeling your weight against him as a constant reminder that you're here and that you're his. it makes the nightmares less frequent. that, and some mornings he's lucky enough to wake up to you kissing his neck. the view he gets every time he wakes up makes it all the more lovely for him. it does mean that anytime he wakes up from a nightmare, your head is flung off of his chest, but you two laugh about it now. it helps calm him down. before you got together, if dean ever had wet dreams, he would handle it himself. but now, he's pressed against you, one hand tight on your waist as he pushed himself against you. he's groaning slightly as he does so, his free hand roaming wherever it could. you wake him slowly, kissing his neck just the way he liked it and softly called his name.

“dean.. hey, dean, wake up. you're dreaming, baby.” you coo at him until his eyes start to flutter open. he's a little embarrassed, but he's also dean, so he has no shame in not so discreetly asking for your help. he doesn't stop his lethargic press of his hips against you, even after he wakes up.

“hey, gorgeous. you think you can help me out?” his voice is still low and rumble-y from sleep, and well.. how can you say no to that?

gabriel

unsurprisingly, gabriel has had a lot of one night stands in his time, so he's used to having some random person(or people) to take care of his needs. but now that he's settled down with you, a few things have changed. for one, he doesn't need to go far to find someone willing to help him, but on the other hand, his libido is crazy high and he doesn't want to hurt your fragile human body. while you’ve been together, he's learned to tone it down and not be so horny all the time, no matter how gorgeous his partner is. gabriel likes to sleep with his wings out, having made sure that he puts them in a form that won’t fry your eyeballs out. he loves to wrap them around you like a little cacoon. but the thing about his wings is that he always wants you to be touching them when you're.. getting busy. not because they're particularly sensitive, but because its a part of him, not the vessel he's in, him. so, if you end up brushing against them in your sleep, gabriel is suddenly going to have very vivid thoughts about you. you awake to the sounds of low grunting and a rubbing sensation against your thigh. gabriel is literally dry humping your leg in his sleep. carefully, oh so carefully, you tried to rouse him in a way that he wasn't already.

“gabe? hey love, wake up. you're having a good dream, i take it?”

when he does wake up, he's surprisingly embarrassed about it. at least with the one night stands, he’d never have to see them again after his embarrassing moments. he awkwardly apologized and tried to get out the bed. you caught his arm. maybe your stamina wasn't quite as good as an angel’s, but you had a feeling you could help with this particular issue.

crowley

i think crowley would also sleep with you laying on his chest, or spooning. some nights, when he's particularly fragile(or drunk), he'll be the little spoon. he doesn't ask, just curls up against you and tells you to put your arms around him. “well?” he'll say out of the blue, trying to seem annoyed instead of needy. he fails. “what are you waiting for? im cold.” he always falls asleep quicker when you hold him. his libido is pretty high, but less so than it used to be. he's an old man, he's over 300 years old, so his sex drive is on the lower end for demons. as for wet dreams, i don't think he gets them very often. he's a demon, he's seen just about everything there is to see when it comes to the bedroom. hell, he's tortured souls who begged him to keep going. very little can get him going that he doesn't already know about. but there's an exception to every rule, and the exception for this is you. you're so gorgeous to him, and while he can usually rein it in, he just can't help himself tonight. you woke up to him leaving half asleep kisses to your neck, as well as something poking your leg. when you jolt in surprise, it wakes him up and he's completely mortified. he's the king of hell for god's sake, not a rabbit in heat! “jesus christ, love, i wasn't trying to..” he trailed off, not wanting to admit that he had just been dry humping your leg like a dog. of course, you offer to take care of it and he caves. he will absolutely refuse to ever speak about it in the morning, and likely the foreseeable future.

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sam

sam has had to maintain a pretty good poker face for the majority of his life, so he's pretty good at masking it when he gets jealous. he gets quiet, more withdrawn, not wanting to explode and seem like a controlling jackass. but he's watching. watching much closer than necessary. he, himself has issues with saying no, and he never wants you to be in that kind of situation. he doesn't want to make it about him, and he knows you're more than capable of defending yourself, but he also knows that he loves you and wants to keep you safe.

if it's a one off thing, like a creepy dude at a bar, he's able to get over it. you might notice that he's a little clingy after you get back, but for the most part, he looks to be about the same as usual.

if it's not a one off thing, like one of your friends or one of his friends, he doesn't let go of it so easily. he feels awful about it, like he's doubting your love and loyalty to him. logically, he knows that you love him and he doesn't think for a second that you’d ever cheat on him. but there's a little voice in the back of his head that already thinks you're way out of his league and that it's only a matter of time before you leave. when he can't take it anymore, he sits you down on your shared bed and tells you what's been going wrong. he rambles a little, trying to make you understand every nuanced emotion he's experiencing, that he isn't accusing you of cheating and that you mean everything to him. you calm him down, holding him and kissing him until your gentle reassurances land. after that, you two have a heart to heart and figure out where to go from there. in the future, he's more open about things like that. and you're more than happy to help him see just how much you love him.

dean

similar to his brother, dean has a great poker face. unlike his brother, he has no issue with being obnoxious about it. he’ll wrap his arm around your shoulder or your waist and pull you against his side. he makes some snide comment like “hey gorgeous. who's this you're talking to?” or “you know, you're typically supposed to hang out with your boyfriend when you go drinking with him, not whoever this is.” occasionally, when he's really fed up with the person, he'll say “baby, i told you not to wear those jeans in public. you know what they do to me. we better get going, unless you want to do this in the middle of the bar.” he relishes the way the person you're talking to gets red in the face and are suddenly stumbling over their words. you shoot him an annoyed face, but some part of you likes when he gets a little jealous.

if it isn't something that's contained in a single night, then it gets a little worse. he’ll be 10x handsier around them, hands wandering, squeezing your ass or thighs, anything he can get his hands on. all the while sending them death glares. he is not subtle in the slightest and he isn't trying to be. it came to a head when he was openly trying to get his hand down your pants right in front the person. ..you were more than a little pissed. you dragged him to your room to talk, telling him that you noticed how he’d been acting and that you didn't exactly appreciate his lack of ability to keep his hands to himself. he was defensive about it at first, but you wore him down and he caved. he explained how he'd been feeling lately and that he knew he had no reason to, but he couldn't help it. you both calmed down a lot after that. from there, the conversation was gentler, ending with a promise from dean that he wouldn't try to keep that kind of stuff from you(along with a promise to keep his hands in his pockets in public).

gabriel

now, i think gabriel has a good poker face too. BUT!!! i also think that really only applies to pain tolerance and when he's trying not to laugh. when he's jealous, though.. it's completely obvious. gabriel has experience with being in pain, he has experience with humor, but what he doesn't have experience with is love. sure, he's slept with a lot of people, but they don't mean anything to him, not like you do. he's never been in a committed relationship, at least not one that didn't revolve around sex. the issue isn't that he isn't committed, he is, the issue is that he's not accustomed to the extra feelings that come with it. he's deeply insecure when it comes to romance since it isn't something he has control over. he knows what jealousy is and when it happens, he knows that it's what he's feeling, but it's weird and uncomfortable and he hates that this stupid guy is apparently incapable of leaving you alone. like i've said, he's utterly transparent about his jealousy, the look on his face says everything. he's trying his best to give them the benefit of the doubt— maybe they just didn't know you were dating someone, dating him. he supposes he can't fault them for that. he’ll come up behind you, wrap his arms around your middle and not so discreetly declare your relationship. “there you are. i was looking everywhere for you, love bug.” he’ll throw the person you're talking to a glare and drag you away.

if the person is someone you can't avoid seeing, it gets worse. he won't admit it to anyone, but he doesn't need to. he's glaring daggers at the person anytime you speak to them, being endlessly affectionate in public, and coming up with increasingly ridiculous nicknames. you eventually sat him down and told him that you knew he'd been jealous lately and that you were a little worried about him. he caved immediately. he had been worried too— worried that he wasn't enough and that you'd leave him. well.. he didn't say that in so many words, but the message was clear. i'm scared to lose you. it was going to be a long night, but you wouldn't stop until he understood that you loved him and no one else. he’d learn, he'd learn over many years that you wouldn't leave, but it would take time. luckily, he was worth the trouble.

crowley

crowley is never quiet about his jealousy. ever since he started dating you, he's made it clear that he's not above being jealous and that he is certainly not above solving it with violence. he's made several threats against people who get too comfortable with you and he's also made good on those threats dozens of times. he knows it's a little extreme, but what about him isn't? he appreciates dramatic flair. plus, he can't go around making empty threats, he's the king of hell. well, that, and there's a twisted sort of enjoyment he gets from getting rid of the competition. not that they ever really had a chance with you to begin with. you're far too good for them, too good for him even. but you chose him anyway, and he would do anything to keep it that way. you practically co-rule hell at this point, he can't lose that(or you).

if it's someone like Sam or Dean that he can't actually kill off who's causing his jealousy, then it all gets worse. he does everything in his power to make sure you see them as little as possible. he'll go down to earth to meet them, send his demons to speak to them, and keep you far, far away. he doesn't like the idea of you getting attached to them in any capacity. the only one you need to be attached to is him. but of course, he can't keep you away from them forever. and anytime they're around.. his threats get worse, more vitriolic. instead of his usual veiled insults, he brings up things that hurt. things they don't like thinking about. their losses, their failures, their actions that they can't take back. if you ever ask him about it, he'll deny it to high hell. he doesn't get jealous, it's not something that happens to him. but eventually.. the stress gets to him. he can't balance all of hell and keeping you away from them and make it all look easy. he starts to get sloppy. he tells you he's going to earth to meet with someone, but you see right through it. he's clearly walking into a trap and he somehow has no idea. how your quick witted, cunning, clever husband fell for something so obvious, you have no idea. okay, you have some idea. you're not an idiot, you know what's been going on, but you didn't think it had gotten that bad. you stop him, and gently explain that you’ve noticed his behavior lately and that he can't keep going like that or he'll get seriously hurt one day. he sighs, but he lets you go on. he tells you all of it, and for once in his demonic afterlife, he apologizes. he kisses you and tells you that you're his world. he bails on the meeting he had to spend the day with what actually matters to him, you. it won't be easy for him, but if it means keeping you in his life, he'll learn.

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a/n: gummi here! first post done!! this took forever but i’m really proud of it. crowley's my favorite, but maybe you can tell. anyway, yipie! thanks for reading !!

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