LummoFuck

Miya Osamu. To most, hearing Miya would almost certainly guarantee that “Atsumu” would follow it, but for you, it was “Osamu” that you looked forward to hearing. Quiet and more reserved, always watching carefully from the back, Osamu was the less talked about twin, mentioned only when he was paired with his overly zealous brother as a duo. Sure, he’d made a name for himself, his presence on the court was one that left most quaking to play against and others excited to watch, but it wouldn’t be a lie to say his name was tied to his twin, as it always had been since he was young. Over the years, he’d yearned for his own recognition, to be someone people saw as a separate entity. He didn’t want to be “one of the Miyas” nor did he want to be “Atsumu’s twin.” He’d tried so hard, done so much to separate himself from his brother. He’d tried to label himself the nicer twin, tried to garner attention through being less pushy and demanding, attempted to present himself as a guy people could smile around and feel comfortable with. All Osamu craved was for someone to look at him, say his name, and his name alone, and give him the validation he so desperately needed. And you’d done just that. You’d walked in, arms out wide, letting him collapse against you and bask in the attention you’d reserved for him alone. You’d look at him when the ball hit the other side of the court, your eyes were focused on him, never leaving to look anywhere else for even a second. You’d listen to his words, to his opinions, and you gave him a voice that was loud, not outshined by his brother, not overlooked or seen as one half of a whole, but as enough as is. When he was around you, all that existed was Miya Osamu, and the feeling of being seen, of being noticed, of being appreciated, of being loved in a way only he could be loved, was so comforting, so relieving, gave him so much hope that he could be more than just the other twin, that he found himself falling for you even harder. You had shown him that he wasn’t drowning in his brother’s shadow, you’d proved to him that he wasn’t cast into the darkness of the looming presence that was Atsumu. Instead, when he’d gotten lost in the shadow of his brother, too dark and deep to climb out of, you had shined a light on him, guiding him out and into your arms, allowing him to see that he too had his own shadow and that his place wasn’t to fall into someone else’s. So he tried, he gave his all, diligently making good work to give you what you deserved, to be what you needed, to make sure you had a reason to stay by his side. But even in your arms, he found not all of his doubts could be erased. Even with you, not everything was always perfect.

“Samu, there’s not much I can do okay? I need to do what I signed up to do.” Staring at you with disbelief, he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Are ya kiddin’ me y/n? Ya see how he looks at ya! Yer gonna sit there and let ‘em be around ya alone while ya ‘tutor’ him?” Sighing, you gently grabbed Osamu’s hand.

“I know that, and I’m not happy either, but I signed up to be a tutor, it’s a commitment I made. And I can’t help who they assign to me, baby. It’s only twice a week for a few weeks okay? And it’ll be during your practice, it won’t even cut into our time together.” Huffing frustratedly, he shook his head, refusing to let it go. He snatched his hand out of your grasp, staring at you furiously.

“Yer just gonna go with it? Yer gonna let him get away with asking ya to tutor him just so he can get close to ya?” This time it was you who was beginning to get angry. Crossing your arms, you sighed deeply.

“Osamu, stop being ridiculous. Would you just drop volleyball because the manager joined solely for your attention? You have plenty of fans that ogle over you and I don’t make you quit. This is a quick and easy little extracurricular to get me some extra credit and it’ll be over soon, so stop making it bigger than it has to be.” He groaned, trying his best not to get more worked up over your exchange. He wanted to scream that he wasn’t the center of attention like you claimed he was, that there were more fans that fawned over his brother anyway. He wanted to scream that you were the one that could do better, not him, that if anyone could be threatened it would be him. But he couldn’t bring himself to do so, so instead, he swallowed the lump in his throat and looked the other way, trying his best to ignore the way his heart screamed at the thought of another man getting a chance to sweep you off your feet.

“Ya know what, whatever. Do what ya want, if ya insist on this so bad then do it. I don’t care anymore.” Turning to walk away, he was stopped by your hand catching his wrist.

“Samu, don’t just leave it at that! Would you just tell me what’s gotten into—”

“Y/n, I’m late for practice. Can ya just let it go?” Blinking at Osamu for a moment, you dropped his wrist, fed up with his mood. Nodding, you waved him off in defeat.

“Go ahead then. Let’s just leave it here.” Nodding, he turned to leave for practice, not turning back to kiss you or invite you along as he left you in the hallway alone. You rolled your eyes, gathering your things and shutting your locker, making your way to the gym anyway. Even if you were angry with him, you always walked home with Osamu, and you didn’t want to miss a day over a petty argument.

Two hours later, and practice had ended with it being Atsumu’s turn to put the equipment away. Your boyfriend hadn’t spared you much of a glance, leaving to fill up his water bottle when they’d all called it a day. You made your way down to Atsumu, rolling your eyes at Osamu’s deflection at the problem at hand.

“Hey y/n,” the faux blonde called over. Giving you a smirk, he gestured at the equipment with a nod. “Be nice to yer boyfriend’s brother and give him a hand with the equipment would ya?” Chuckling, you shook your head, reaching to help him nonetheless. “Ya and Samu haven’t talked much today, what’s up with that? He forget somethin’ important?” Shaking your head, you sighed before rolling your eyes for the hundredth time that day.

“I signed up to do some tutoring as extra credit. I just so happen to be assigned to tutor a guy that’s a little more friendly with me than he should be and Osamu’s not very happy.” Atsumu hummed, nodding slowly as he processed your words. Putting down the equipment in the storage room, you turned to him, beginning to let your frustrations from the earlier argument out. “I mean, I get it, I really do! I wouldn’t wanna be in his situation either, but I can’t exactly just quit! And I wouldn’t ask him to either! He just needs to trust me, obviously, I’d never go behind his back, and I’m not a baby, he can’t just keep me from doing things because someone’s interested in me. What happens if it’s at work or something in the future, not everything can work out the way you want, oh—” you stumbled at the end, tripping over a discarded net you hadn’t seen due to your ranting. Watching you fall forward, Atsumu scrambled to catch you before you fell to the ground, but before he could balance himself, you’d knocked him over, landing on top of him. Staring at him with wide eyes, you gasped. “Tsumu, are you okay? I’m so sorry!” He chuckled, going to respond when the door opened, revealing your boyfriend at the entrance staring at you with wide eyes as you were sprawled over his brother, hand on his chest. Eyes watering, he slowly retreated before turning and walking out completely. You didn’t miss the way his lips trembled. Suddenly, all the agitation you’d been feeling for him melted away, and you were left feeling incredibly guilty. Scrambling off of Atsumu, you quickly made your way after Osamu, following him as he made his way out of the gym. You caught him just as he stepped out the door.

“Samu, wait, let me explain.” Turning to you with a red face and tears streaming down his cheeks, he choked back a sob.

“Explain?” His voice was a mere whisper. “Y-ya wanna explain th-that ya were on top of m-my... my brother?” Heart breaking, you went to cup his cheek, but he dodged your touch, whimpering as you got closer. Once more, you watched him as more tears streamed down past his cheeks.

“Baby, it’s not what you think, I just tripped and he tried to catch me. I’d never do that to you,” you tried to reason. He choked back another sob, looking at you with despair written all over his expression.

“I-I always knew he caught the attention of m-more people, but y-ya said ya loved me! Yer supposed to love me!” He cried. This time, when your hands cupped his cheeks, he didn’t shy away from your touch. Bringing him to lean his forehead against yours, you looked him in the eyes, watching as emotion after emotion swam through them. Hurt. Betrayal. Self-doubt. Anger. Defeat. Each one made your heart chip a little as you registered them. Carefully, your thumb wiped away the tears as you pecked his jaw gently.

“Samu, I do love you. Only you. What’s on your mind? I haven’t ever seen you like this,” you whispered. Finally, Osamu let himself sink into you, emotions pouring out at full force. It was so hard, so incredibly difficult to keep it all bottled in, to pretend like everything was fine, and you were making it so tempting to just pour his heart out to you, even though his mind screamed at him not to. But he was tired, sick of not feeling good enough, sick of feeling second place, sick of watching out from every corner to make sure you remained his, sick of trying to measure up. He just wanted to be worth your love, worth being the one you focused on. Hiccuping, he buried his head into your neck, spilling his deepest insecurities to you, praying that after this, you’d still remain by his side.

“I’m j-just the o-other twin! A-and no one ever pays attention to me, n-not like ya. I don’t wanna lose ya! So,” he took a deep breath, trying to keep it from getting too ragged. “So, I try to be enough, b-but all these people come, and I can’t measure up, and... and I’m scared they’ll take ya away. And everyone always watches Tsumu! H-he’s always being noticed... And then... and then we fought, and you were laying on him, and I thought ya picked him b-because ya were tired of me. Why wouldn’t ya get tired of me...?” He trailed off brokenly at the end. Shushing him, you gently rocked him back and forth, hand smoothing his hair back as you kissed the side of his head. Suddenly, Osamu’s concerns about your tutoring sessions made more sense, and you kicked yourself for not noticing how he was begging you to see that he was scared, scared that you’d leave him for someone who was better in his eyes. Osamu was drowning in his doubts, and you’d only made them worse. So gently, you tilted his head so you could meet his eyes.

“Hey, baby that’s not true. I could never get tired of you. Samu, you’re not just the other twin, you’re Miya Osamu, a guy who happens to be a twin. And I’m dating Miya Osamu, the twin who happens to be the man of my dreams. You’re enough, you’re always enough. You’re the sweet guy who packs me lunch and puts cute little notes in them, you pinch my nose when you walk past me in the hallways, you make cute little faces at me when you look at me during games, you send me funny little videos at night while we’re doing homework, you make little lists of recipes to figure out how to make because they’re my favorite, you text me reminders to do things because you know I forget, you save me the best seat in the stands to watch you play, you ask me to send you a picture of my outfit on cold days so you can bring a jacket that matches because you know I won’t bring one for sake of my ‘outfit,’ you do any and everything to make me feel special and I always feel special with you. Where else could I find that? Why on earth would I let that go for your brother, all he’s good for is eating our food we make when I come over.” He sniffled, smiling a little at the last part. Gripping your waist tightly, he looked you in the eyes.

“Yeah, but I’m not as attention grabbing as other guys. Even people on my team, they have so much attention on them, and the guy yer supposed to tutor is so bold, and I’m just me, ya know? Why do ya want that?” Tracing a thumb over his cheek, you smiled softly at him.

“Because you’re so much better than any of them once you take the time to know you. There’s someone out there for everyone, and you’re the one for me. Atsumu can have someone who’s as obnoxious as him, and I’m sure that idiot I’m supposed to tutor will find someone who likes him being bold, but as far as I’m concerned, I need someone who’s like you, and luckily, you’re here to be that someone. You’re not half of a deal, you’re your own person, and being with you has nothing to do with your brother and his attention or his name okay?” Burying himself into your neck once more, Osamu gripped you tightly, sniffling into your shoulder as tears hit your skin. Quietly, you hummed, holding him just as tight as you let him bask in your affection.

“I love ya, so much. I want it to be ya,” he whispered. Smiling, you pulled him to face you, kissing both his cheeks.

“And I love you too. I love you a lot okay? And I don’t think I’ll love anyone else as much.” And this time, finally he believed you. Finally, he felt the weight of being second best to his brother, second best on the court, second best in choice, being lifted off his shoulders. To you, he wasn’t second, nor was he first. He was the only one. With no one in line, with no other slot, and with not a chance to be replaced. It was just him, no shadows to be lost in. With you, Osamu had his own shadow, the light focused on him, nowhere else to shine but his direction, and he found himself finally able to just breathe. He could be just Miya Osamu, with no other strings attached to his name. He was your Osamu, and the thought made a smile stretch across his lips. One last time, he sniffled before wiping away his tears.

“Wanna come over and make brownies? I know ya love those.” Nodding, you smiled, pecking his nose.

“Yeah, let’s go. We won’t share with Tsumu either, he’s rude and annoying.” Chuckling, he pulled you into a kiss, passionate and slow, hands roaming around your waist. Your hands found their way around his neck, playing with the small hairs at the nape.