•StuffyClouds•

❥ HELLO !! THIS IS A PERSONAL / VENT / ART BLOG PLEASE BE AWARE I'm Mikey or StuffyClouds! I'm an artist who loves Atsushi Nakajima!! I'm 18 and I use he/him pronouns. I'm autistic and my spintrests are Atsushi, Pokémon, Art and over all my yumeship!! I get VERY SHY AT TIMES I DO APOLOGIZE,, I really hope you stay and enjoy my yumeship ! Its a big comfort of mine, and I want somewhere to just primarily post it and vent out my feelings ❥

DNI - Proshippers and EVERYONE UNDER THE PROSHIP UMBRELLA. Under 15, Atsushi X CC shippers, especially SSKK shippers.. Right-wing bigots.. general DNI..

❥ HERES MY LINKS !! Mukade's Toyhou.se ! - Get to know my Bungo Oc for my Yumeship!! Which is called Wereipede!! My commission page !! - I have VGEN and my commissions are open! Im a trusted artist with over 50 reviews !! My StrawPage ! - You can send me gimmicks !! Will update more on it ! ❥ My Kofi !! - Hey! its under construction, BUT you can donate to me !

Mike found out that everytime he tries to go on Twitter, go long sessions on tiktok or tries to talk to people out of the very selected few

He gets disoriented.

Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise, dont make yourself feel otherwise. People will love you with all of their heart. Youll feel better once you get up.

As soon as I brand out and unblocked sskk shippers and others because i dont mind ships I personally dont care for them

I feel mike tug on my anxiety strings as I unblock people that have never harmed him. Never harmed us. He shouldn't have to worry anymore because hes in head space, you need to look at reconnecting. You need to move on.

This is why people leave, you hold onto something that no longer affects you. Please move on, and let yourself be free.

As I type this out my anxiety cools down and Mike is back into his bubble. We'll pop him when therapy comes, I needed to write this out now because im in bed and i find it silly to just jump up to run to my scrapbook.

As my understanding of DID and OSDD grows, I think I finally understand what Mike is, he is an alter formed by grooming/oversexualization on the internet.

In turn, he is hypersexual, emotional, and vulgar because thats what he had to be to survive in the spaces he was in

If im correct mike doesnt remember past Gar, his original groomer.

His relationships centered around sexual topics and then made him turn sexual to find happiness, to find ground in that.

This never excuses what he did to others. Never. the constant venting, oversexualizing of himself and others (almost without consent 99% of the time), the constant breaking of boundaries, and even how he treated me in headspace, constantly poking fun at me and downplaying us as a system.

He gets into these types of situations because thats all he really knows. Finding comfort in sex, thinking if he has intimacy with someone they'll stay / have more of a connection

Literally today was so shit, my mom got a text from the teacher saying that I dont do shit even though everything was turned in a day prior, my situation ship of like years broke up with me and I saw someone who I wanted to be my friend again posted ss.kk which I ficking hate so fucking much dude you dont get it

I saw my assaulter after about a year and a half, all my progress was gone. In just a matter of seconds and now I have a new fictive and my persecuter teaming up to make me believe that he still loves me and that he thinks about me. This is the second sleepless night of just crying my eyes out, dissociate, come back and just have this sense of euphoria that I dont like.

Stuff and life is hard. Im harder. But sometimes I wish I had my boy again - not the narcissist rapist. But my boy. I think my life did end at 16 and im just living in the husk of a broken 18 year old. I was doing so good. So so good. I just had to see him with that jacket, us making eye contact and just. Im glad i didnt break down the whole thing made me go 'I need a beer' but fuck I ruined my own life. I wish he was still my sweet nerdy boy who didnt assault me multiple times and I had no idea. I miss sophomore year. Id relive it again and again if I had the choice.