Stuff My Boyfriend Say

His hair got messed up in the wind so I started fixing it and then he said that...

I was talking to my boyfriend about how weird it is that he never recognizes the guest actors on SNL and I ALWAYS do, so I told him that I believe he might not recognize me if I wear a costume, and he said “nooo, I’ll recognize you, but maybe when I’m old and you will come to me and ask ‘Honey, do you know who I am?’ I will say ‘are you my shoes???’”

I just woke up with a bad hair day...

I was leaving for a month vacation abroad back in my home country without my bf. I discovered that a sock I had missing its pair was left at my parents house abroad for the whole half year it’s been missing, so I was packing it with me to reunite the socks together. So when I left my bf said “damn I won’t see you for an entire month!” And then he thought about the socks reuniting after half a year of being apart and felt all better :)

We listened to a nostalgic song from when we just started talking, not even dating, and this is what he said :)

I was feeling anxious when going to sleep and told my bf that it could’ve helped if I had a stress ball or something I could use with my hands to relieve the stress, so he offered his penis 🤣 it actually did help me calm down so then he named it “therapenis”

We both got out of the shower, and I immediately wore my towel robe, he started blow drying his hair when all of a sudden he shuved the blow dryer underneath my robe blowing air up from below. Then he said “Your stripper name should be Breezy Vagina!”

We were talking about how we can’t think of a language in which broccoli isn’t simply broccoli and then he said he thinks in Scotland they probably call it “lil wee tree fuckers”

He called me Kahleesi and then mother of dragons and I said: but I don’t have dragons…

He went to a Magic the Gathering convention and I was asking him if he found any butt cracks to pose next to, so he said that he couldn’t find any visible butt cracks anywhere, but there were indeed a lot of people so fat that you couldn’t distinguish where their chin is. So I added “or they simply have too many chins… a throng of chins!” And he said: “no, the throng of chins were on the Asia convention on the other side of the convention center”. :)

So we were in a park and came across these black looking bellflowers so bf immediately says: “They’re called ‘Headbangers’!”

We had sex and it didn’t go so well, so my bf said “There will be a sequel!” so I asked him how will it be called…

He came back after a rigorous sport activity…

Bf watching me use a peeling gel for my face. He starts narrating me.

I was trying to explain what a pore minimizing primer is, and bf came up with a better idea.

I let my bf listen to an instrumental track named "hey girl" so he narrated it :)