stuff I like

Is there any kinda non human primate that can grow something that looks like a black handlebar mustache? Asking for blorbo related reasons.

Not that I can think of! Funny enough, white is the most common facial hair colour for primates across the species. Even chimpanzee facial hair is often white!

Here are a few fictional scenarios:

The back moustache is a genetic mutation

The facial hair is deliberately dyed and styled as part of a sideshow.

It's an entirely fictional primate species.

then she had to get a watch to see if i was right (pretty much — it was 12:50), and then i found myself explaining cardinal directions and sundials to a preschooler

Person on screen: needs a couple pats of butter, a splash of olive oil, simmered on low with a bay leaf and a cinnamon stick. What?! You never seen a boy who knows his way around the kitchen? 

Yeah my mom always wanted a little girl but she got stuck with me instead. That wasn’t gonna stop her though so all my friends were opening up nerf guns and bmx bikes on their birthday, I was getting crockpots. 

(scene changes to the person dressed in a nice black suit jacket, bright pink dress shirt, and black tie) Yeah laugh it up! Take a picture while you’re at it 'cause this is the last time you’ll ever see me in a suit! How do boys wear these things??

This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.

As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.

Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:

Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.

There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.

And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”

The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.

This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.

Facebook User: I wish my posts reached further, then I’d get famous.

Instagram User: I wish I had more followers so I can unlock more basic features for my account.

TikTok User: I wish I had more views then I’d be a real influencer.

And yes, it does:

- 4tbsp flour

- 1/2 tsp baking powder

- 1/8tsp or pinch of salt.

- 2tbsp milk, a little more if whole dairy milk.

make with any flour any kind of milk. very forgiving. we don't bother measuring much.

mix with fork. microwave 42 seconds. flip it over in mug. microwave 42 seconds. flip. 20 seconds. then you have bread. you can skip the second flip if tired.

ingredients:

- silken tofu

- soy sauce

- rice wine vinegar (can be substituted with other vinegars/lemon juice/lime juice)

- sweetener (i like using maple syrup, but honey and sugar are also good!)

- garlic (you can use pre-minced or mince/press your own. I often use ginger garlic paste which i buy at the store or make myself in a food processor)

- gochugaru* or whatever chili powder you keep around, or skip if you don’t like any spice!

- sesame seeds*

- water

- persian cucumber* or really any veg you enjoy eating raw. I think the persian cucumber is really refreshing and light crunchy vegetables work best. Might even be good with something like a crisp apple!

- steamed rice*

- nori*

instructions:

0. [optional step] cook some rice, i use a rice cooker bc it’s very easy. while your rice is cooking, proceed with the rest of the recipe. if you have left over rice this is also a great way to use it, wait till the end of the recipe and then heat up your rice up last. I just microwave it with a wet paper towel over it.

1. drain and plop your block of silken tofu onto a plate, pat off excess moisture w a paper towel or don’t if your are feeling lazy

2. chop up your cucumber or other veg into bite sized pieces and set aside. If I’m cooking for one i just do 1 persian cucumber.

3. mix soy sauce, vinegar and sweetener in a 1:1:1 ratio, add ~a clove of minced garlic or ginger garlic paste. and some gochugaru to your own taste, i use maybe 1-2 tsp? and some sesame seeds, maybe also 1-2 tsp.

4. TASTE IT!! and adjust to your personal taste by adjusting the ratio of salt/acid/sweet and by diluting with a bit of water. this sauce is very customizable so go nuts! add oyster sauce or sriracha or chili oil!

5. once the sauce is to your liking, dump the chopped veg on top on the tofu and then dump the sauce over all of it.

https://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-red-lentil-soup-recipes-from-the-kitchn-212392#post-recipe-10796

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5

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