A's Before Bae's

my (slightly messy) summer study space !

I’ve done this to several men, and they catch on rather quickly. You’ll be able to have a conversation right then and there, and it works long term too - they might’ve forgot their manners by the time you talk to them again, but by repeating this, they’ll eventually learn to let you talk without you having to do this at the start of every convo. Source: I have a very stubborn older brother, who eventually learned too.

1. When they interrupt you, stop talking. Don’t try to raise your voice or battle them. Be completely quiet and wait.

2. Ignore everything they’re saying. Do not actually listen - just wait until they shut up. Don’t make a point of anything they say, do not answer to anything they say, do not refer to anything they say here. Literally do not listen a single word. Let them rant as long as they want.

3. When they finally shut up and wait for your reaction, say: ”I wasn’t done talking.”

4. Start over whatever you were saying when they interrupted you. I don’t care if it was a 10-minute explanation of rocket science. Start. Over. Repeat you original thought, but do not add anything related to what they just said while talking over you. That gives them the idea that it’s okay to interrupt you, you’ll still listen and pay attention and they’ll get their point clear without having to listen to yours. (It’s especially funny when you get done and they expect you to keep going talking about whatever they talked over you. The face when it sinks in that you didn’t listen a single word is glorious.)

5. If they interrupt you again, return to step 1. If you find yourself repeating the cycle over 3 times, tell them: ”you’re not letting me speak. Either you listen and wait for your turn, or our conversation ends here.” If they try to make excuses, laugh it off or keep interrupting, end the conversation. Prove them that if they wont let you speak, they’re not worth your time.

Why does this work? First, because sometimes talking over is internalized and men don’t actually notice they’re doing it. Being vocally called out makes them realize it and pay attention to it - especially if it happens more than once. Secondly, by refusing to aknowledge anything they say when they interrupt you, they’ll soon realize they will not get their own point across if they keep doing that. Peoole and especially men have the need to be heard and paid attention to when they talk - when you make it clear that by talking over you, they will not have your attention, they’ll learn to wait until you’re done, because they know that’s when you will be paying attention and actually listening.

i love my dumb idiot child so much! you don’t even understand how much

The premise of studying is two-fold: knowledge and understanding. Some people choose to focus on memorizing, but psychology has shown us that accurately understanding and being able to apply a concept is a much more useful way of studying. 

Ways to study for knowledge include flashcards, making study notes, rereading texts/notes you have made, quizzing yourself on terms/concepts, etc. 

Ways to study for understanding include practice tests, outlining an essay, explaining the concepts to someone else, explaining them out loud to yourself, etc. 

I suggest doing both of these things. One way I like to study is using flashcards with a partner, because it encompasses both. First, I get to rattle off the knowledge I have about a topic from the card. Then, I get to explain the concept to a third party to make sure I really understand it myself. If I don’t have a partner around, I just do the same thing by myself! 

-Trans women (cosplayers and non-cosplayers)

- Cis Women who feel too shy to actually show off their chest but still want to pull this off

- Cis women with small chests who also want to be true the characters.

-  Pretty much any dude who wants to cosplay as a female character

(here are some study tips straight from my psych notes)

1. interest: the brain prioritizes by meaning, value, and relevance so u remember things better if ur interested

find a study partner

do extra practice or research

teach it to someone else (this works so well!)

2. intent: be actively paying attention. very little learning actually takes place without attention

use a concentration check sheet (every time u get distracted, put a check on ur sheet. this is supposed to program ur mind to pay attention)

while u read, talk back to the author

ask questions during lectures (this is scary ik!! but do it!)

3. basic background: make connections to what u already know

preview and skim the material before u read it. or google it!

write out a list of vocab words before a lecture and leave some spaces between them to fill in during the lecture

read ahead of lectures

watch crashcourse tbh

4. selectivity: start by studying whats important

look for bolded words, graphics, pictures, chapter review questions in ur readings

listen for verbal clues like emphasis and repetition during lectures

make urself a study guide as u read and write down questions for urself to answer later as review (kinda like cornell notes)

5. meaningful organization: u can learn/rmr better if u group ideas into diff categories

apply vocab words to ur life

make flashcards and sort them (try not to have more than seven items in one category!)

use mnemonics

6. recitation: saying ideas aloud in ur own words strengthens synaptic connections! when u say something aloud u r forcing urself to pay attention

after u read, ask urself questions

talk abt what u learned w/ classmates outside of class

again, teach someone else

7. visualization: ur brain’s quickest and longest-lasting response is to images

convert info into a chart or graph

draw it out

make a mental video of a process

look at picture/video examples

8. association: memory is increased when facts are consciously associated w something u already know. memory = making neural connections

ask urself: is this something i already know?

9. consolidation: give ur brain some time to establish a neural pathway

make a list of what u remember from class

review notes at the end of the day, every day

stop after reading each prg to write a question in ur notes

make ur own practice quiz

10. distributed practice: we all know cramming doesnt work but we do it anyway! but yeah short and frequent study sections work better

make a daily/weekly study schedule

create a time budget/time tracker (track everything ur doing for a week and see how u can be more efficient w/ the time u waste)

divide the reading/vocab by the number of days before an exam and do a little bit each day (u can use sticky notes to divide ur reading)

other tips:

stop stressing! this sounds stupid and it isnt going to be easy, but anxiety causes u to lose focus. try ur best to think positively. sleep a lot. minimize ur caffeine intake. take a walk maybe

when u need to remember something, look upward or close ur eyes (when ur eyes are open ur using visual parts of ur brain that u might not need to be using)

find a rival! (like the person right above u in class rank) secretly compete w/ them (envy can improve mental persistence bc it makes u focus more intensely) but dont overdo it! 

walking and sleeping build memory storage in ur brain

eat flavonoids! (grapes, berries, tea leaves, cocoa beans make neurons in the brain more capable of forming new memories + increase blood flow to the brain)