さくら 。

“perhaps they were..” he nodded once, smiling and finding himself snickering not just because her lame words but rather because mainly of her laugh itself. shaking his head again, he took her hands as she spoke and continued to give them periodical squeezes, again to make sure things were real. he wasn’t a man of many words, he never was, but with his blossom, at least he spoke. other times, when it came to others, he never spoke. 

“Of course I’m still tall, and of course it’s better than yours, still!” he laughed a bit louder than before, wiggling his nose out of habit and watched as she reacted. he knew how much she loved the cherry blossoms, and how when they were in japan she hadn’t the chance to because by the time they had gotten back from school, it was too dark to go out again. he nodded once as he laughed about her reality offer, wiggling his nose and giving a single nod. 

too much silly things, apparently. 

but then again, when wasn’t she silly? it’s a trait of hers that she embraced long ago. it’s funny how she can embrace things about herself and love them so much while rejecting many others. her vulnerable side, the one that acts cute and true to her feelings - the one she is showing to hyunki right now - is something that she prefers to reject. wearing your heart on the sleeve may make you feel honest, but at the same time, she feels it’s too dangerous to do so. how many people can she really trust that won’t hurt her? currently, she has miyoung. and now, she has hyunki, again. she hopes every day she’s not wrong about people she trusts, even though people betraying her trust is a normal thing. so normal, people think it’s not a big deal. 

but she’s not thinking about it. not now that she found her long lost friend. besides, those people don’t deserve her thoughts. with a subtle shake of her head, her attention is completely on hyunki again. 

the words that he had received back made his upturned lips part to expose his pearly white teeth in a dorky grin, squeezing her one last time before he could feel her pull way to cup his face, feeling his cheeks burning ever so slightly as it was the first time he had felt this close to someone. “well, only for you, hana.” he cooed, chuckling lowly and glancing down at her, his hands now resting comfortably on her hips. 

the taller took a deep breath, chuckling as he heard her whispers, shaking his head and lifting a hand to brush hair from her eyes and tuck it behind her ear, his voice low as he spoke in return. “you know… one of the reasons why i came here was because when i checked this place out at night, the stars reminded of you. like they were calling me here in your voice -  it was weird. jeez, you’re just as short and cute as i remember. “ he chuckled and nodded once, slowly moving to take her hands from his face and give each of them a soft squeeze, tilting his head and looking her in the eyes, whispering with a charming grin. 

the pink that colored her cheeks only grows stronger as hyunki continues on talking. she liked strobe for the stars, too. they brought her a great comfort. taehee knew this was the place for her when sitting to admire the stars. before that, she rarely saw stars - her mother isn’t really fond of small towns. 

“maybe they were!” she says. “maybe that night i was telling the stars i wished to see you again” she completes and then starts laughing. “i’m sorry, this was kinda lame, yeah?” taehee shakes her head. usually, her walls are never down. but this is hyunki. she shouldn’t fear. “hey!” she cries but a chuckle follows. “you’re still... tall” and handsome, she wants to say, but it doesn’t leave her lips. “i bet your japanese is still better than mine” she nods and stops talking when meeting his gaze. 

his next words make her chin fall and her mouth assumes the shape of an “o”. taehee is completely obsessed with cherry blossoms. her mother always tells her a different story as to who her father was, but the only constant thing was that he wanted taehee to be called sakura. so, since she was a child, she collected items that were cherry blossom themed and she even demanded to have a cherry blossom wallpaper no matter where they moved to. 

just a few cards left in his game, he received a call from the front desk proceeding to tell him that he had a visitor, and with that, he groaned lowly and ran a hand through his brown locks, turning down his music and continuing to play despite the visitor he was to see. upon hering the knock, he voiced outward to allow her in, speaking simply “come in”, continuing his game quickly. he rose an eyebrow when he heard her voice beginning to break the surface, so he quickly turned off his music - the voice was so familiar. he felt his heart clench just a little, almost an ache of some sort, for a reason unknown to him. 

and then he saw her. 

he felt his breath escape him all at once, along with the ability to say anything. those eyes, and that voice, and that smile, and that laugh - the one he knew that he wouldn’t ever see again. before he could even figure out if this was a dream or not, he was already hugging her, tightly wrapping his arms her. there was a much larger height difference, so this time it was his arms wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her close to his firm, muscular stature, inhaling slowly, as he had forgotten to do so for the past few moments. he pulled away slightly to look down at her, and then again pulled her closer, but pressed his lips to her forehead, smiling softly against her skin. pulling away, he looked down at her, whispering softly in his much deeper, raspier voice.

he pulls away but taehee smile doesn’t die. those who got to know the real taehee know of her beliefs. even though she maintains it as a secret, she does believe in fate. however, she doesn’t believe in blind fate - she believes that each choice gives her a lot of different fates. despite the way they had to part ways, taehee always believed deep in her soul that her choices would make her cross paths with hyunki again. wouldn’t it be too cruel to find such amazing friendship and lose it forever? she is happy to know that she wasn’t wrong for believing. she wasn’t wrong for seeing “see you” instead of  “goodbye” that day. 

her eyelids flutter closed when he approaches to kiss her forehead and she sighs happily. that gesture of him sometimes made her angry - he used to do that when she was being a softie. right now, she doesn’t mind. she welcomes the lovely gesture with a smile. “i missed you too, kuma” taehee's sincere look meet his and a chuckle escapes her lips because there they are, ten years older, and calling each other by pet names. and oh, how she missed him! every now and then her mind would wander towards him, because hyunki always knew how to make her feel better. “so you still do that, huh?” taehee asks, referring to the kiss. 

so when the tears fell from her eyes, she mistook them for tears of anger. taehee stopped crying when moving a long time ago, but she couldn’t help it this time. thinking about how hyunki just made everything worse. it pains to her chest to think about his silence and how none of them could look into each other’s eyes. she has a sudden urge to tell her mother to stop the car. taehee wants to go back and hug him again. apologize for leaving so suddenly when he needs her. tell him everything her fears made her avoid. and then she hears it. 

for a second, she wonders if her ears aren’t deceiving her. but taehee is sure she heard it - and the look on her mother’s face gives it away. hyunki did it. he said he loved her. a sob escapes her lips because they could’ve had so much. not for long, but even so - they could’ve had something. taehee wouldn’t have worried about hiding these feelings for all that time. a sobs escapes her lips and, even though she had too much to say, she says too little. in a hurry, the young girl rolls down the window of the car and puts her crying face in hyunki’s sight. 

“STUPID!” 

                                                           —

                                                                                                               ( early 2015 )

“hi, can i see the owner?” she asks with a smile. taehee has been working in the radio for a while and even though she doubts many people listen to her - at least during the beginning of her shift - she thinks that talking to someone who understood of music could help her. taehee has some ideas but she has no knowledge to actually put that in practice. so who’s better than the owner of the new music studio? news flies in little towns such as strobe and taehee grew curious. supposedly, the owner was a young and very handsome man. people said he seems a bit distant, but taehee thinks it’s because he’s in a completely strange town. she used to be distant when she wouldn’t stop moving around. 

the person in the front desk took her to the back of the studio where a room awaited her. she thanks the employee and proceeds to knock on the door. even though the employee probably warned the man that he was receiving a guest, taehee doesn’t wish to be rude. the voice she hears that invites her in makes her furrow her brows. she’s sure to have heard that voice before. her heart starts racing but she’s not sure as to why. she shakes her head, and finally goes in. she can’t see his face at first because of his computer, so she clears her throat and introduces herself. 

the festival brings both good and bad memories for her. nine years ago, when her mother brought her to strobe city, taehee wasn’t really convinced by the town. it was just a small town -  there was nothing special about it. but her mother, as enthusiastic as she can be when she finds a new love, said that she absolutely needed to see the festival - that taehee would surely fall in love with the city as soon as she would see the charms of a small town festival. it worked. taehee was indeed charmed by the festival and by the town itself. and that’s why she stayed. her mother went in other adventures of hers, but taehee always dreamed about staying still. 

thoughts about her rough relationship and other memories drives her away from the crowd. suddenly, being alone in the middle of so many people - people who yelled and laughed - makes her uncomfortable. the pink haired woman takes a cotton candy to match her hair and rests her back against one of the pillars of the shrine. she’s startled by the voice - although it sounds familiar - and turns around.