Little Inspirations

I work in a decent sized, local, indie bookstore. It’s a great job 99% of the time and a lot of our customers are pretty neat people. Any who, middle of the day this little old lady comes up. She’s lovably kooky. She effuses how much she loves the store and how she wishes she could spend more time in it but her husband is waiting in the car (OH! I BETTER BUY HIM SOME CHOCOLATE!), she piles a bunch of art supplies on the counter and then stops and tells me how my bangs are beautiful and remind her of the ocean (“Wooooosh” she says, making a wave gesture with her hand)

Ok. I think to myself. Awesomely happy, weird little old ladies are my favorite kind of customer. They’re thrilled about everything and they’re comfortably bananas. I can have a good time with this one. So we chat and it’s nice.

Then this kid, who’s been up my counter a few times to gather his school textbooks, comes up in line behind her (we’re connected to a major university in the city so we have a lot of harried students pass through). She turns around to him and, out of nowhere, demands that he put his textbooks on the counter. He’s confused but she explains that she’s going to buy his textbooks.

He goes sheetrock white. He refuses and adamantly insists that she can’t do that. It’s like, $400 worth of textbooks. She, this tiny old woman, bodily takes them out of her hands, throws them on the counter and turns to me with a intense stare and tells me to put them on her bill. The kid at this point is practically in tears. He’s confused and shocked and grateful. Then she turns to him and says “you need chocolate.” She starts grabbing handfuls of chocolates and putting them in her pile.

He keeps asking her “why are you doing this?” She responds “Do you like Harry Potter?“ and throws a copy of the new Cursed Child on the pile too.

Finally she’s done and I ring her up for a crazy amount of money. She pays and asks me to please give the kid a few bags for his stuff. While I’m bagging up her merchandise the kid hugs her. We’re both telling her how amazing she is and what an awesome thing she’s done. She turns to both of us and says probably one of the most profound, unscripted things I’ve ever had someone say:

“It’s important to be kind. You can’t know all the times that you’ve hurt people in tiny, significant ways. It’s easy to be cruel without meaning to be. There’s nothing you can do about that. But you can choose to be kind. Be kind.”

The kid thanks her again and leaves. I tell her again how awesome she is. She’s staring out the door after him and says to me: “My son is a homeless meth addict. I don’t know what I did. I see that boy and I see the man my son could have been if someone had chosen to be kind to him at just the right time.”

I’ve bagged up all her stuff and at this point am super awkward and feel like I should say something but I don’t know what. Then she turns to me and says: I wish I could have bangs like that but my darn hair is just too curly.“ And leaves.

Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched Does not mean: Give belly rubs! - haha I tricked you!  Actually means: I’m playful! If you reach for my belly I’ll grab your arm and bite it because I think we’re playfighting! 

Lazily exposing belly - still attacks when touched Does not mean: tricked you again! Actually means: I’m showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don’t break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I’m not ticklish and I know you well. Snapping at you while being pet Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you! Actually means: You’re petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time.

Staring and blinking slowly Does not mean: I’m smug and think I am smarter than you. Actually means: I like you! But I don’t need to get up in your face to show it.  I can just sit over here and blow kisses at you to show you I am glad you are around!

Yes, the legends are true. Cats headbutt you to show their trust and affection. They also do it to show “hey look I see you as family.” Lions do it with members of their pride to say the same. It’s not just because they want food.

Cats nibbling is indeed literally cats grooming you. It’s what mom cats do to their kittens. If a cat is gently biting and/or licking you, they’re now your mom.

Meowing can simply be for the mere fact they want to say hello, want to play or be pet. Again, not just for food.

They barely meow at other cats (except for kittens, they meow at mom cat), mostly just humans. There are exceptions but overall, meowing is almost always for us.

Cats squinting/slow blinking is indeed basically the equivalent of us smiling and/or kissing.

Cats, like humans, prefer to get things without having to work for it- which isn’t very common within other animals.

Cat massages or making biscuits is because they happy! Kneading is another way of saying “hey I like this moment here I enjoy you and my life.”

Cats recognize us by smell, sound, taste, and touch. They recognize us after years as their long term memory is extremely good. This is why abused or neglected cats are so easily scared or hard to connect with. If your scent changes over the years or just in the day, your voice will them it’s really you. Also, they will only remember you if you had impact on their life. If you just existed in the same house, they obviously won’t care.

And yes, they know our patterns in the day. You notice it when it’s beneficial to them (feeding time!). They will often wait for you to come home as well.

To remember: cats think we are interesting as hell. They watch us do everything because we’re fascinating!!!

notice how when you’re unfamiliar but nonthreatening, they might loaf facing you and sorta halfway watch you. you’re not fully trusted, but you’re ok by them.

when you’re familiar and liked, they’ll often sit near you facing the same way. imitation of poses is a weird little way cats show solidarity. they do it to each other too. check out these bff’s:

they are doing this on purpose. it’s a buddy thing. so if you’re watching tv and a cat sits next to you and pretends to watch tv too, they are basically calling you bro and declaring friendship.

and if they really love and trust you, they’ll turn their back on you and go to sleep. they’ll sleep facing a wall in your presence, or lounge where they can’t see the room. this isn’t a snub, folks, this is true kitty love. they’re saying, “i feel safe when you’re around. i know nothing’s going to sneak up on me, because you’re here. i feel so safe i can stick my head under a pillow and snore with my butt pointed at you.”

silk: what’s your favorite type of tea?

cotton: what’s your favorite time of the day?

satin: favorite state of the sky? 

chenile: moon, sun, or stars? 

velvet: what’s your ideal date?

linen: what’s your favorite quality about yourself?

nylon: if you could spend a day with anyone who would it be?

chintz: do you believe in love at first sight?

eyelet: what’s your favorite place? 

velour: favorite rose color? 

wool: what’s your “type”?

jacquard: sea, forest, mountain, or sky?

jersey: do you have any regrets?

corduroy: favorite cliché/trope?

lace: what is your favorite constellation?

polyester: do you enjoy parties?

rayon: favorite fruit?

fleece: does anyone make you feel “warm” inside?

chiffon: dawn or dusk?

terry: would you ever get a tattoo?

damask: ideal city to live in?

jasmine; what mythical creature do you wish actually existed?

lavender; soundcloud or vinyls?

primrose; what book does everyone right now need to read?

lunar mist; do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets?

bird of paradise; what was the best thing that happened to you this month?

gardenia; what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself?

lion’s fairytale; would you rather be the sky, the ocean or the forests?

whirling butterflies; would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

marmalade skies; do you plan your outfits?

apricot drift; how do you feel right now?

everlasting daisy; what’s the last dream you remember having?

queen’s cup; what are you craving right now?

lavender dream; turn ons/offs?

water lilly; when was the last time you cried? why?

lily of the valley; did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize?

winterberry; do you bite or lick your ice cream?

honey perfume; favorite movie ever?

desert rose; do you like yourself?

snapdragon; have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity?

night owl; how many countries have you visited?

heliotrope; have you ever been in a castle?

creams and sky; what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done?

lantana; what’s on your mind right now?

pumpkin patch; what’s your zodiac sign?

tulip; name 5 facts about yourself.

daphne; do you believe in karma?

queen of the meadow; ever been in love?

wisteria; whom do you admire and why?

angel’s face; what was your favorite bedtime story as a child?

remember me; did you make someone laugh today?

iris; do you believe in ghosts?

lilac; if you could go back in time which time period would you visit?

caramel kisses; would you want to live forever? why/why not?

primula; what makes you sad?

rain lily; was today typical? why/why not?

queen anne’s lace; who do you trust the most?

lady’s slipper; what did you have for breakfast today?

forget me not; do you have any regrets looking back in your life?

lunaria; what’s your favorite fictional universe?

violet; favorite tv show?

sunflower; share a favorite quote.

snowdrop; what does your ideal day look like?

tiger lily; do you have any hobbies?

peony; share a small random book passage that means something to you.

tea rose; what’s something you always wanted to do but were too scared?

honeysuckle; do you usually date people your age or older/younger?

sweet pea; who means the world to you? why?

love in the mist; best books you’ve ever read?

foxglove; who is your favorite cartoon character?

magnolia; coffee or tea?

crown imperial; would you rather be extremely rich or extremely loved?

snowflake; are you a dog or a cat person?

bell flower; what is your biggest addiction?

cosmos; do you ever think about the galaxy?

moonflower; what’s your favorite color?

freesia; do you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings? why/why not?

sundrop; are you a morning or a night person?

poppy; have you ever dealt with a mental illness?

clover; how would your friends describe you?

dandelion; do you consider yourself and extrovert or an introvert?

lilly; what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do?

anemone; describe yourself in 3 words.

lotus; best memory as a child?

angelonia; what is your eye and hair color?

dahlia; do you like crystals?

buttercup; if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

baby’s breath; what’s your hogwarts house?

calendula; biggest pet peeve?

blanker flower; would you rather go to a cocktail party with your best friends or stay home and read a book/watch a movie with your pet?

blazing star; share a secret.

carnation; would you rather live longer or happier?

petunia; who’s story is your biggest inspiration in life? why?

bluebell; do you wear glasses?

nymphea; forest or river?

orchid; do you like exercise?

pansy; do you like poetry?

Her response was to send me this meme:

“An offering,” she said, handing me a plain white bag with a green ribbon.

Inside is this:

Physics: More pencil tricks

If you take the thing out, they’re going to bleed a lot more.

SO. DONT.

News Flash from the Medical Help ™ — we don’t touch it either! Unless the object they’re impaled with is literally too big to fit in the ambulance, We. Don’t. Touch. The. Thing.

The only people qualified to Take-The-Thing-Out are surgeons. End of story.

Okay, but for the love of God, please, PLEASE, if you did, if you panicked and took the thing out…. DON’T…. PUT IT BACK IN.