american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

Filipino recipes: add rice and soy sauce and some more rice MORE RICE MORE RICE MORE

Indian recipes: just throw whatever spices your mom uses into a pot and it’ll turn out good the 50th time you make it

The scientific method