▲rms in ▲rms in ▲rms

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She want's it to be a monthly celebratory special occasion between the two of us, but as for me, I look forward to anniversaries, you know, once a year, big boom. Don't know if she still remembered that I said I'm more of an annual guy. :/ Well anyway, (she's gonna kill me for this but whatevs), Happy first month and one day Ziela, the first of many months to come. I know I haven't really been up to standard with dates and treating you right, but thanks for being so patient. I love you for that. I love you for alot of other reasons too. I'll letchu know personally soon. NYAHAHAHAHA SEE YOU SOON. <3 YOU ALL THE WAY.

Filled with breaking people's hearts, making people wait on me, disappointing them. Being nowhere near perfect, feels like it's not worth to even stay in this blue marble anymore.

As I'm filling in all these details in my FRO, I realise that everything would be taken away from me. From the simplest of things like proper sleep and shower, to more devastating things that I clearly can't do without ; family, home, girlfriend, time. I got grounded for God knows how long, and couldn't meet my babe, before that, I had a camping gig that pays, for 4 days. I can't imagine the pain she feels, the suffering, the loneliness. Now that I'm grounded + heading for NS, I don't know if she's gonna keep holding on. I know she loves me, there's no doubt in that too. But seeing how much I've been away from her, her feelings for me (what I fear the most) may fade. I just hope not. I really hope not. The worst feeling's to be left when you're serving. I love you. I keep putting you through all these shit, and you just bare with it. You're stronger than I'll ever be. I love you for tolerating these. I hope you notice that I do try, here and there, little or much, I still do. And I do appreciate your understanding, even when we meet, even for a really short while. I don't mean to meet for a short while, but at times babe, it's all I've got. Baby, we'll stay strong together okay? We'll push on forward together, in unison. I just hope you know that you're the only one I love. Trust me, I love you with everything I've got. I don't want to lose you. I'm sorry for everything and anything that I've done or not done to hurt you. I love you Ziela. Smile more and cry less. Pretty girls shouldn't cry.  

It seems like I've always been testing her patience with me, but trust me babe, I'm not. I know you're pissed, I know I am. I know. I know you miss me a helluva lot. I do too. I'll still be selfish for asking you to stay with me, to stay strong. I've been such an asshole to your heart, I'm sorry. I still love you. I love you. I will be a better person. I love you. 

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