Introducing: Eda the Owl Lady, Greatest Witch on the Boiling Isles Spirale!
That one cool aunt you kinda always wish you had if she was also an incredibly powerful spellcaster and kinda zombie-ish for magic reasons
She can and WILL dumpster-dive and sell all your worthless crap for a profit.
Might be a bit too quick to gamble. It’s a good thing she’s so darn good at it(so she’d have you believe at least).
Her full name is Edalyn Clawthorne, but the only ones who call her that are the authorities, who she has no respect for anyway.
Pfft, kids? Who needs ‘em? Babies are awful, and they don’t get much better when they’re older. No thanks.
Side note: have you seen her human apprentice around here? She’s about 14, super excitable about everything, deceptively clever, does this weird thing where she puts her arms around you and holds really tight a lot...
Why’s she called the Owl Lady? Because she’s so wise! And sometimes coughs up rat bones. And gets distracted by shiny things. And is afflicted by a terrible curse laid upon her in her youth where she occasionally uncontrollably transforms into a giant owl beast that acts on pure feral instinct Just those three things.
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"Something freaky went on with the screens all around the city?"
"Yeah, see, that's why I only mess around with technology to pawn it off. Something of yours gets haunted, you want it to be something you understand so you can fix it, and I feel like most people don't know how those electrical whatsits do what they do. I've got the phone they gave me and that's it."
"Gah! H-hey, hey, of course I've missed him already! It just...doesn't always feel fresh, you know? It's been so long- sometimes it feels numb, other times it's like...a big gaping hole, impossible to ignore..."
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"What?! No, nobody's asking that! Nobody's...wondering what particular city blocks would be least likely to have anyone getting hurt by it exploding either. And definitely not thinking about which of those would annoy the Stars the most to have blown up. Totally ridiculous!"
"Well. I mean, yeah, sure, but...come on, Lily, you know that's also a VERY different situation! Besides, who's to say they wouldn't get a kick out of something wild like that happening too?"
Sure, it had been a fine evening so far, but these slow, formal events always bored Eda out of her skull. Surely she wasn't alone in thinking they could stand to be more exciting! Something new to shake up the night for something unforgettable...and a particular conversation she overheard piqued her interest VERY well.
"Heheheh, that's right- the fight was always the best part of Grom! Maybe something like that'll liven the place up a bit..."
In a flurry of feathers, the already-transformed Eda soared fast as she could toward the center of the city, taking to the air several meters above to get a bird's eye view for her apprentice. She hadn't felt her heart beat so fast in months- even without any imminent danger, finding Luz filled her with such a sense of urgency that she couldn't help but get a bit of tunnel vision.
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Eda didn’t exactly feel as “in her element” as she was hoping to in this competition. The flyer had mentioned something about baking some kind of spooky confection to impress a panel of judges, and given how lots of people seemed to think Boiling Isles cuisine was pretty frightening by itself she should’ve had this one- and its cash prize- in the bag. Turns out she’d counted her gryphons before they hatched, as before her, there lay an assortment of perfectly ordinary Halloween candies in a perfectly ordinary kitchen with other perfectly ordinary ingredients to be found around. She’d dipped her toes into “normal” kinds of cooking before, but that wasn’t nearly the level of experience she had in her preferred area.
Like heck she’d give up just because things weren’t as they expected, though! She was the Owl Lady- she’d come out on top of all kinds of scrapes before using just her wits! Next to all that, this was easy as key slime pie, which probably would’ve been a decent choice if the competition had been what she thought it was. She just needed to think on her feet, come up with something sufficiently frightful yet sugary and tasty enough for the judges. If she couldn’t make something gross and unsettling to the human palate, the fear factor would have to lie entirely within the presentation and arrangement of the food. Not a problem; if ever there was a mind that could think of how to use the culinary tools provided to arrange something at least mildly unnerving, it was hers.
Once inspiration had struck she was off, getting things started by setting aside a collection of two varieties of mini candy bars- one with a mostly nougat-y inside, and another that had peanuts and caramel underneath its chocolate coating. She also grabbed some caramel cubes, throwing them into a pot and beginning to heat them up slowly, while keeping a couple more candies to the side. From there she started working on a brownie batter, preparing that according to the box’s instructions and pouring it into a round tray. The peanut bars were unwrapped and pressed down into the batter, with some chocolate sandwich cookies disassembled and crushed up to sprinkle on top.
With the brownie base prepped and thrown into the oven, she started work on some of the more decorative elements. Three apples were hollowed and carved up to resemble crude skulls, set aside so she could heat up the nougat bars in the microwave. Once they were just soft enough, she mushed them into the apple skulls to resemble brains, letting them overflow and leak out a bit for extra grossness. She made especially sure to include a few gummy worms- one coming out of an eye socket, another squirming around in the head. The witch chuckled to herself once they were done up, proud of making such creepy little things.
Soon enough the brownie came out, and final preparation was set to be made. The apple skulls were laid atop the chocolate treat, all three in the center facing outwards. She’d then grab a ladle and the pot of melted caramel, drizzling it atop the “brains” and out of the holes carved in the skulls, as well as a bit outward onto the base for added “messiness.” Last but not least, just a bit of garnish to complete the scene- a pack of sour gummy children was opened up, with the kids all arranged to seem as though they were running away from the trio of skulls much larger than they were. All in all, a rather macabre scene if she did say so herself.
“Not my finest work, but we just might have something here! Here’s hoping these “Franken-chefs” recognize greatness when they see it…”
[Final tally of candies used(real-world equivalents listed for ease of understanding: caramels, Snickers, 3 Musketeers, Oreos(do they count as candy? Probably not), gummy worms, Sour Patch Kids]
"Ha! Shoulda figured the offer'd grab some rowdy teen's attention. Sure, you can help out, long as you try not to throw anything that looks particularly breakable. I want it to be a complete yet cozy disarray, not like a gorenado ran through the whole place."
"Yeah, like that! Ironic since it's a replica of my place back home- got my hands on one of those special keys and they set me up, which has been nice to have at least."
"Sweet! We just gotta head through the Mistwood to get there. Watch out for the tree roots, they get pretty gnarly the deeper in you go."
"Well, it wasn't constantly a mess- I'd just place stuff wherever I wanted it whenever I wanted it there and left it until I needed it. Not like you could barely walk across the floor or anything, but definitely not with all the systems Lilith used. Maybe you're right- let's try moving stuff around and see what feels right."
"Hey, anyone wanna come over to my place and make an absolute mess of it? My dear sister tidied everything up while I was away from Spirale and it's been absolutely miserable trying to get used to."
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"Apparently I was entered in some kind of sexy contest and lost to a pig. What kinda load of garbage is that?! I oughta find whoever was running this poll and-"
Her brewing tirade is cut short by Owlbert flapping about and trilling over something.
"Huh?" A quick check of her phone, and some scrolling. "...Ooohhh, she's an actual pig. ...No, yeah, I can see it. Good on her."
Luz squeezed Eda tightly, glad for the reunion at last--it simultaneously felt like it had been ages since she'd last seen the witch, and also like hardly any time had passed at all. She knew this was the effect of Spirale and its time funniness, but it left her feeling a strange swirl of emotions.
"I missed you so, so much," Luz confides with one last squeeze, before releasing her mentor.
Stringbean, meanwhile, curiously circles Eda first, before stopping to hiss inquiringly at Owlbert. Both these presences were more than familiar to her, obviously from her time as an egg, and she was already full of affection for both Luz's witch mom and her palisman.
She nuzzles gently at Owlbert's side as Luz giggles softly. "Stringbean's so excited to finally meet you both."
There were times when Eda wanted to curse the weird time-space mixups that happened with being brought into and removed from Spirale. It had been a source of confusion, relief, and immediate frustration since the early days of her time here. Of course, right now, with her dear apprentice in her tight embrace, she can't possibly bring herself to ponder such things.
"I've missed you so much, too." The times they'd been absent from each other's lives were not equal, which Eda had the slightest idea of when she saw the girl's reaction. More time had passed for Luz than had passed for herself. That was the only way the time element really mattered: the effect it had on Luz, how much worse things had been for her and anyone else she was with.
Owlbert coos in delight and nuzzles back against Stringbean, a sight which makes Eda beam in pride. "Looks like Owlbert is too! When'd she finally hatch for you, huh?"
