Bite For Bite

@striderb

563 posts

zanderlefevredeactivated

Goodbye, My Friend||Zander and Strider||Day 5, 19/04/14

zanderlefevredeactivated

He knew there were people out there who said they cared about him. He didn’t truly beleive any of them anymore. They weren’t here. They wanted to survive…They weren’t here with Zander. At this moment, he wanted to forget everything. Absolutely everything. Everything except here and now. He felt like Strider was the only one left who really actually cared about him. He needed Strider. He didn’t think he could go on without him now. Not after…

He felt dead inside. Done. Finished. Never in his life had Zander ever felt so completely hopeless. He’d always been the one people turned to when they were breaking. But now…now his soul felt like crushed glass. Like…like sand. Like if anything happened now it would be like a breeze blew it away. He couldn’t lose Strider. He couldn’t leave him either. He wanted to die. He wanted to be free of this life. But as every day went by and more people fell, here was Zander…still alive…but not kicking.

He couldn’t speak, all he was able to do was bury his face deeper in Strider’s shoulder and sob. Zander felt like a hole had opened inside of him. Eventually, he was able to muster, his voice barely a whisper, “Th-thank you…”

Strider could do nothing but cry. His heart being completely torn from his chest and smashed into a million pieces. With each memory of Riley his anger began to subside. But it was replaced with something far worse. Something that would scar him forever. Strider had always tried to be there for Riley, knowing that Riley had experienced death of a loved one before. He never brought it up with Riley first. Nolan wasn't something he wanted Riley to relive. He had always wondered what it felt like. How Riley felt in that period of his life. But his wondering was put to an end. Strider now knew that feeling.

The sense of loss. Seeing things only to reminded of him. Reminded that he wouldn't be there. That those little habits he had. The quirky things he did. The way he'd stand. The way he smelt. How he'd smile. That they were gone, never to be returned to him. There wasn't a thing that would be the same. There was a feeling of barbed wire against his skin as if he was being dragged away. That his body was lying in a bed of quick sand. He wanted nothing more than to shut his eyes and hide forever. But every time he closed his eyes he was visited by another memory of his loved one. The man he loved. The man he was in love with.. The man who'd he never be able to show how much he loved him again.

#Zander #zanderlefevre

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zanderlefevredeactivated

Goodbye, My Friend||Zander and Strider||Day 5, 19/04/14

zanderlefevredeactivated

Zander felt Strider take him in his embrace and he gripped the other man’s shirt, feeling like if he let go he’d fall into complete oblivion. Zander buried his face in Strider’s neck and continued squeezing his eyes shut. At this moment in time, his world was crashing down around him. Everything he’d ever done, all the work he’d done to get better mentally….it was all gone. It all meant nothing. He sobbed until his throat was dry and kept sobbing. He was now more broke than he’d ever been. His breaths came in short bursts and he felt like he was drowning.

He never wanted to let go. Zander wrapped his arms tighter around Strider, gripping the fabric at the other man’s shoulders. He felt like a black void had just opened up and he was about to fall through. He felt like, if Strider were to leave he’d be done for. He; just fall over and die, drown in himself. Behind his shut eyelids, he saw Ronnie. Regardless of all the fights he and his son had, he loved him with his entire being and now…..now that was gone. That was over. He was empty. His body shook as he hugged Strider. He wanted to say he was sorry…he wanted to say something, but everytime he opened his mouth all that was there was sobs. He couldn’t do this.

"D-d-d-don’t let m-me go….please…" He mumbled. This scale of loss was something Zander couldn’t deal with on his own and if Strider left…Zander would break further. His reality and soul were shattered totally anyway, and if his friend left him alone it would be like a strong wind coming through and blowing the pieces away….he would ever be able to mend himself. He wasn’t certain he’d be able to anyway. He just needed his friend.

No matter how much Strider wanted just to run out an throw himself to his death he knew he couldn't. Riley would have never wanted that. Riley would have never... Strider pulled himself closer to his friend, tears streaming down his face. In that moment not matter how distraught they both were they needed each other. Strider had no one else left in this town. Zander was all that was left.

Slow flashing images of Riley kept appearing in his head. Times when he'd wake up in his bed and see Riley still fast asleep. His face soft, without a care in the world showing on his face. There were images of other times where they'd cross each other at work and Strider would have to contain himself so as he didn't attack the other with hugs. It was all so painful for him. He pictured Riley, as cliche as it is, dressed in white smiling down at him. Telling him that it wasn't his fault, he has nothing to blame himself for.

"I won't.. I promise..." Strider swallowed his sobbing for a brief moment, giving him just enough time to force his words out. He wasn't going to leave Zander. Nothing felt right in to Strider anymore. It all felt wrong, like there was something important missing everywhere. Someone missing... Someone that wasn't going to come back.

#Zander #zanderlefevre

Day 4 || Self Para

Strider found himself awake most of the night. Despite having his friend there he still couldn't sleep. The moon light filled the room they were in and made the atmosphere calmer.

Dear Riley,

I found Zander after being separated from the group. We've managed to find a secure building. I was so relieved to see him again. But.. it may take me longer to find you now. I need to take care of Zander..

Riley I love you so much, I dream about you each night. I dream that we're back in bed. That none of this ever happened. I dream of that house from the first time I dreamt of us. Where ever you are hold on. I'll be there soon. I'll be there to the rescue. I won't let anything hurt you.

Love always S

X

zanderlefevredeactivated

Goodbye, My Friend||Zander and Strider||Day 5, 19/04/14

zanderlefevredeactivated

Suddenly, the static came from his bag again and the feeling of dread washed over him. Slowly, the staticy voice listed off the dead…and thats when he broke down. He slid his bag off his shoulders. They were both gone. “S-Strider….l-listen…” His ears focused on the names he knew…

phoebe nathanson…….riley o-shannon…..

Then, his heart stopped for a moment when he heard it.

Ronnie Benson…

He couldn’t move. He barely even heard the rest of the names. It pounded in his ears and bounced around inside his head. Ronnie….Ronnie…Ronnie….Shaking and numb, Zander fell to his knees and his vision stirred. He was gonna be sick. A small amount of bile and spit exploded from his mouth and he felt his world collapse.

"No…no…" His breaths came out ragged and he sobbed. He sobbed and salty, hot tears flowed down his cheeks. He gripped his jeans in his fists and clenched his teeth, trying not to scream. It didn’t work and the sound ripped from his throat, he couldn’t even stop it. He ran his hads through his hair, gripping large chunks of it. It felt like his eyes were sewn shut and his brain was empty, save for the memories of his son….

Strider heard it but didn't listen to it. If he did he knew he wouldn't be able to cope. Riley's name had completely passed through him. The death of his boyfriend, his best friend, his love it broke his will. Zander fell in front of him. Anger was rising in Strider's body. Furious that he couldn't save Riley. That he couldn't be there for him. That he hadn't been quick enough.

Strider fell across from Zander. He took the other's hands and placed them at his sides. Wrapping him in a strong grip. He started crying, not being able to hold back his tears. All the pain he had ever held back, he had finally reached the end. Crying into the other's neck Strider lost the image of that hard, strong man. "Zander..... " There wasn't nothing following that. There was nothing he could say. His own mind lost. There was no way he could comfort his friend. Closing his eyes Strider only saw Riley's smiling. His eyes blocked out everything and his hearing was filled with his voice. His laugh. The words he wanted to say but now couldn't. Strider kept crying, he hadn't cried since he was a child. He learned that all it did was waste time. But there was nothing grounding him anymore.

#Zander #zanderlefevre #SABRdeaths #SABRau

zanderlefevredeactivated

Goodbye, My Friend||Zander and Strider||Day 5, 19/04/14

zanderlefevredeactivated

Zander nodded. “Well going there is a damn good bet. unless he’s left, hes there. He was when I left anyway…” He looked up at Strider. He understood. “I get it, man…” Zan watched Strider’s face. He walked over and hugged the other man. When they separated, Zan sighed, knowing this would probably be the last time he saw Strider. “It’s okay, Stri. find Riley.”

Zan smiled sadly at his friend. He was happy he’d found Strider and now he knew it was time for them to go their separate ways. He shook his head when Strider asked if he would come to the clinic. “I…I…I need to find Ronnie…” Tears welled up in his eyes again and he pulled Strider in for one last hug ad whispered, “Promise me you’ll be safe though…”

Strider hugged the other tightly, while he didn't want to say goodbye he knew he had to. If he ever wanted to find Riley he knew he was going to have leave. Which meant saying goodbye to Zander. Making this the last time they would probably meet. "Thank you..... You too...."

"I will... As soon as I have him... I'm coming back to look for you..." Strider held the other for a longer time, longer than he probably should have. "I promise... I'll will find you again..." He matched the other's voice level. "I'll fight my way through hoards if I have too...I'll find you again...." Strider wasn't sure if it was an empty promise or not he just knew he meant it. He was going to look for Zander.

#Zander #zanderlefevre

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zanderlefevredeactivated

Goodbye, My Friend||Zander and Strider||Day 5, 19/04/14

Zander was in a tremendous amount of pain. His prosthetics were not agreeing with him and everything ached. He wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to do this. But he wanted…no..he needed to find Ronnie. Zander wasn’t sure he could continue on if he didn’t have Ronnie. He looked up as he saw Strider approach him.

"You look like you’re deep in thought…" He had the lingering feeling that he was gonna be alone again soon. He scratched his head. "Are you going to go somewhere?" Zan knew Strider probably wanted to find Riley. And he wasn’t going to stop the other man. But Zander had someone he needed to find as well.

Strider looked to his friend solemnly. "Yeah I have been thinking..." He didn't know how he was going to say it but he knew he needed to. Because he need to find Riley. He need to, there was no other way for him. "Zander... I need to find Riley.. I don't know where he is.. but.. I need to find him.. I was thinking that my best bet was going to the clinic... Hoping he was there.. If not I'll keep searching.." He watching his friend, Strider's face fell.

Knowing that he was being selfish he still was going to do it. Knowing that Zander, his friend was okay helped him for a while but Riley was still always on his mind.He didn't want Zander to be alone. For him to out there by himself. " I know that this is probably a bad idea.. but I have to do this.. Do you.. do you want to come?" He wasn't sure of what Zander's answer was going to be. But either way he was still heading on a mission to find the clinic.

#Zander #zanderlefevre #SABRau

Day Three -- Hoping there's light||17/04/14

zanderlefevredeactivated

Zander squeezed Strider’s hand slightly, loving that he had real contact. He was happy he had found Strider. Zander slipped his hand from Striders and held his rifle at the ready. Zander frowned, but let Strider go into the building, staying close to the door.

He peered in after Strider. When the other man reappered, obviously unharmed, Zan smiled slightly, as much as he could muster. Zander walked in and looked around, just to double check. HE turned on the light on his weapon and flashed it around, keeping his finger near the trigger. He trusted Strider, but he just wanted to make absolute sure that they weren’t going to get eaten. Once he was certain, he walked back to Stri. He sucked in a sharp breath as his leg pain flared up again. He removed his pack and rifle and exhaustively leaned against the wall of the building and sunk to the ground, rubbing both his prosthetic arm and leg.He ran a hand through his too log hair and sighed painfully.

Strider sat back sighed when the other sat down beside him. For the time being it looked like they were safe. He took off his bag and put his weapons on the ground. Strider was worried about the other he knew about his prosthetics and wondered how they were effecting him in all of this. "Are you okay?.. That didn't sound too good.." Facing the other he put his hand out and placed it on his shoulder.

"Take this time to rest Zander, I'll keep watch. Just try not to make too much noise..." Strider stood up and looked out the windows one more time. If they stayed behind the counter they should be safe. They were out of view from the outside and it didn't look like they'd be searching buildings. He stood in view of the other, to make sure he knew he was still here.

#Zander #zanderlefevre

#SABRalpha #SABRau #photo

Day 3 -- A perfect time to go missing || Self Para

Strider had ran as soon as he saw that the other's were making their way over the fence. He made as much as he could to give he group more time. Samy had refused to join them. But there were too many for him to handle on his own. Making sure he had their attention Strider ran. It didn't matter as to where at the time he just needed to get them away from there. From the rest. He ran and ran until he was sure he was safe. Climbing up a tree Strider climbed high enough so he couldn't be seen. Resting for a while he took out his book and a pen and checked his supplies. Satisfied he settled into the tree for a while. Before know he had to find proper shelter.

Dear Riley,

It's day 3. The males of the group went out to find supplies and anything that maybe useful. There were a few moments were we smiled. But we knew it wouldn't last. We managed to escape a hoard outside of the shop by climbing the roof and waiting it out. Looking for any sign of other human life .I looked to the horizon looking for the clinic. Thinking of you. If you're safe. I hope that you're not alone. That you have someone to take care of you while I'm not by your side. It maybe harder for me to get there now.. I became separated from the group. I attracted the attention of some zombies letting the other's get over the fence. I'm on my own right now. I'm not going to give up. I'll keep on going. Nothing is going to stop me from finding you. When I find you there will be nothing in this world that will be able to take you away from me again. I love you so much. You're the only thing keeping me going. The thought of you keeps me strong. I'll never give up as long as it's for you.

Love always, S.

X

#SABRau #SABRalpha #Riley

Day Three -- Hoping there's light||17/04/14

zanderlefevredeactivated

Zander didn’t want to let go of Strider. He wanted to stand there in this good moment forever. BUt he knew they couldn’t. At least not here, out in the open like this. If they wanted to stay in each other’s embrace, they should be doing it somewhere that a zombie wouldn’t be likely to come out of nowhere and kill them. However, he couldn’t bring himself to release Strider yet.

"We-we should. We need rest…." Zander opened his eyes and looked over Strider’s shoulder again, trying, even in his pained state, to keep an eye out. If a Zombie came up and attacked them….if one hurt Strider, that would be the last straw for Zander. He would lose his shit and go trigger happy. His heart ached badly though, so much that it was almost crippling. It was like all the pain, emotional and physical, that he’d ever endured in his life was surfacing in him again all at the same time. Zander felt Strider’s grip on his back tighten and he held the other man tighter, not wanting to let go quite yet.

"Come on... " Strider broke their contact, taking Zander's hand in his. Making sure to take his real hand. He needed his. The contact. Walking along with Zander side by side. Strider help his weapon out, always checking around corners first. Putting his body in front of the other's. After a short walk from their original position Strider saw a building that look like it was still safe. He brought the two of them up to it, "Stay here.. I'll check if it's safe.." Strider asked.

Strider pushed against the door gently, it opened with ease. The door was still in relatively good condition. Strider glanced inside the interior wasn't bad. He nodded to his friend. "It's okay... We can rest here.." Strider walked in first and closed the door after Zander. Immediately grabbing the heaviest table and pushing it against the door. He looked around and sat down behind the counter.

#Zander #zanderlefevre

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Day Three -- Hoping there's light||17/04/14

zanderlefevredeactivated

Zander wrapped his arms around Strider’s chest and didn’t want to let go. “Holy shit…Oh my god…Strider…” He couldn’t help but cry into the other man’s shoulder. He was an emotional mess, the state he had wished no one would ever see him in again…Strider himself had seen him this way, when they first met, when Zander was i the hospital all those months ago. He squeezed his eyes shut at the memory.

Zander felt Strider’s arms tighten around him and he sobbed. “Y-yeah…I’m alive…you’re alive…” He gripped the other man’s shirt, not wanting to let his friend out of his embrace. He opened his eyes and pressed his face ito the other’s shoulder. “I am…I am wr-wrecked…They’re…they’re gone, Strider Noah….Nathan…Trynt…Cian…Avi…They’re all….gone…”

Zander's touch made it seem like it was worth it. It walk, the struggle. It made his determination to find Riley even stronger. Now that he knew that Zander was okay, he could focus on find Riley. "I'm alive...." He didn't attempt to remove the other but he lifted his head and looked around hoping there was nothing coming after him. They didn't need a bunch of zombies to break this moment. "We should find a place to rest properly... I..I'm sorry Zander..." He whispered to the other rubbing his back.

Standing there Strider realised he was part of the missing. That his name was going to be broadcasted as missing. That Riley was going to see it. He tried to take a deep breath but it hitched in his throat. He wasn't going to be able to be there to hold Riley. Riley was going to see his name and Strider had no idea what he was going to do. How he was going to react. He clenched his fist grabbing some material from the other's clothes, trying to keep himself together. He needed to be focused.

#Zander #zanderlefevre

Day Three -- Hoping there's light

zanderlefevredeactivated

Zander’s head was full of messy emotions. He stumbled away from Phillip’s house. Away from Shay and Vi and Cherry…Away from everything. He felt himself letting go of the good life he’d worked so hard to create. He felt himself slipping. And now there was no one to bring him back…He was lost, alone, in pain mentally and physically. His right leg stopped working for a moment and he fell over in pain. Soon enough, the pain subsided and he shakily got back up.

He’d had enough of this shit. This zombie apocalypse. Zander had heard somewhere that this shit was not an accident. It was not just some disease that occured. This was man-made. HE figured it had to be. No regular disease did this to people. He blamed the shitty American government. He’d always been a victim of their ‘politics’ and now he thought this was probably just another thing.

Suddenly, he looked up to see a figure leaing against a building. From where he was standing he couldn’t tell who it was. But he could tell it was human.. Zombies didn’t lean against buildings. As he approached he realized who it was.

"Holy shit…Strider?!"

Strider looked up hearing a voice. A voice he knew. One he remembered. "Zander?" He knew that he was missing since the day before but he was glad to see that he was alive. Standing up properly he tried to make sure that he wasn't seeing things. It was real. "Zander....." He looked at his friend. He was human. Walking towards him Strider, pulled his friend into a hug. Keeping his arms tight around the other. Feeling human contact, his heart and soul sighed a sigh of relief.

"You're alive..." He pulled the other in tighter, he had found his friend. There was a slight glimmer of hope. "You look wrecked..." The man looked like he did when they first met.

#Zander #zanderlefevre

Day Three -- Hoping there's light

Strider walked briskly through the areas he could. After being separated from the others he was on high alert. He had managed to kill a few zombies on his way, wearing his belt holster. With the taser given to Calliope he was left with a baton, a gun. Taking his catch pole Strider took the hook off it and managed to attach the blade of one of his hunting knives to it instead. Turning it into a make-shift pole weapon.

Knowing that his last encounter with the zombies had left him breathless. He took this chance to try find somewhere to rest for now. Looking around he pulled to the side of a building, leaning against the wall he gritted his teeth as he tried to take some of the weight off his feet without sitting down. Resting the pole against the wall he let his guard down. Which he immediately brought back up as he heard something approaching, putting his hand back on the pole he looked out from the side. Hoping it was a human and not one of those.

#Zander #zanderlefevre #SABRau

Day Three -- Supplies

We need to go out and see if we can get more supplies...

#SABRalpha #SABRau

Day 2 || Self para

Strider kept to himself after talking to Calliope. He was going to do anything it took to stay alive. To find Riley. He worked out in the corner of the room, focusing on his task. Hearing that now even Zander was missing made him worry, but it made him remember that if Riley's name wasn't on the list it meant he had found a group to stay with. He wasn't dumb. Strider had parked his van closer to the clubhouse taking out his 'weapons'. They were meant to fight off attacking vicious animals but they would have to do for this situation. Sitting down in his corner he took out a note pad and started to write.

Dear Riley,

It's the second day since it happened. The group I found is managing okay. We're all still alive so far. I listened to the list of people who have died and are missing. I don't think I would be able to cope if I heard your name. Zander is missing, I'm worried about him. I'm hoping you're okay. I don't know what happened to Nyx.. I'm thinking of you constantly. I'm going to stay alive until I can see your face again. Until I can hold you in my arms, kiss you again. ... Because I'm not losing you... Not after just getting you.. Please stay safe.

Love always, S.

X

•18+ Adults Only

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Donovan?....

And Zander's missing?....

Day 1 - Sebastian & Strider

sebastian-spencer

We need to get this place secure and see if anyone needs anything. Find out who’s all here.

Yeah.. Safety, Security and Supplies..

#Sebastian #chat: sebastian

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