im pregnant and its nobodys. it aint even mine

The blog post is pretty great too.

man why didn’t they just have this guy fight him off. dude’s huge

i wouldn't fight godzilla if i was this dude's size, for roughly the same reason i wouldn't fight a komodo dragon at the size i currently am

Not even to save New York?

what has new york ever done for me

dead tired today so I grabbed a coffee from the gas station & the guy greeted me by trying to say “is that everything “ but fumbled and said “e ga thebythin” and me trying to say “yeah” or “yup” just went “YIP!” in response. No survivors

Very stupid that I can't take the muscles out of my neck & upper back & beat them with a meat tenderizer. I think that would fix me

me after my 15 min break at work

me after sleeping a healthy 8 hours

me at the end of a two day weekend

Starting a new sports team called the Tampa Bay Trespassers and they play any sport that they can break onto the field of