In the last two months I’ve lost all desire to keep going. I wake up and it takes 20 minutes to will myself to get out of bed and do this shit all over again.
I feel very little for my life except anxiety. I don’t care about my business and I don’t care about my goals and I don’t care about my relationships. I just simply don’t care. If anything, they mildly irritate me. Everything in my life feels like the equivalent of tag in the back of my shirt rubbing my neck. Tolerable until it’s not. Couple that lack of feeling with the suspicious feeling that something bad is about to happen at all times and I’m always on edge.
I don’t feel safe at home and all of my current “friends” are business relationships. Money came first friendship second. Those kinds of friendships couldn’t withstand a strong breeze so I don’t put much stock in them.
I don’t know what to call this feeling. It’s like I’m too tired to be depressed. I feel void. I am the void. I’m only persisting because I have an office full of people depending on me.
The people and faces I wanted to be around me at this point in my life have long since forgotten me. I’m not sure what to do.
I’m only writing this here because I want to remember I felt this way if it gets better and then this happens again. Maybe it’s burn out. Maybe it’s my relationship. Maybe this isnt what I wanted.
stormborns
romaincrisis
pixelskylines
kianamaiart
