jenya

near misses mello

never separate them

“listen!”

kaveh’s cheerful voice rang out through the muffled sound of the waves, making alhaitham emerge from his thoughts and look at him.

the sun was already setting, but it was just a bit early before the golden hour, when peachy sunlight permeated rare thin clouds and lingered on the sand and rippling waves, trees and buildings, and the skin exposed to the sun. everything around was yellow-ish, and slightly blue-ish where the evening shadows fell. alhaitham focused his vision on kaveh’s face, its right side tinted by the sun.

“here, listen! i found it over there”

he stretched his arm to alhaitham holding a striped conch shell. it was a rare sight for a little empty shore near the port ormos, so kaveh was excited to stumble upon one. he moved closer and held up a shell to alhaitham’s ear, covering his other ear with his hand. his palm and the mouth of the shell were damp from water and cold against alhaitham’s skin. kaveh probably rinsed the conch from all the sand that might’ve gotten inside it.

the whispering noise inside the shell immediately envelopped alhaitham. but it was just noise. the gusts of the wind, the surging waters, a rustling rain forest behind them, the distant sounds of the evening port – all caught up and mixed up together, they formed a disorganised humming harmony. alhaitham listened but his true attention was riveted to kaveh’s features, who was himself surely fascinated by what he’d heard. it reflected in a way a silly half-smile touched his lips and his eyes sparkled studying haitham’s face in anticipation. a few times a gentle breeze blew the golden strands of his hair in front of him, his lushes fluttered. he was beautiful. alhaitham felt his own face heat up, so he couldn’t help himself ruining the moment.

“what are you, five?” he finally said, but it didn’t sound mean, in fact he almost smiled back. “it’s just the air trapped inside the conch. its form intensifies all the sounds around us. you do hear the ocean but not because it magically plays inside a seashell”

kaveh frowned a little, but the joyous smile hadn’t gone away. “you’re so boring”, he scoffed like he absolutely expected to recieve such an answer (which hadn’t revealed any big secret to him). “i’m going to listen to it all by myself”, he finally pulled away his hands from alhaitham’s head and walked away. alhaitham disliked being devoid of this contact, however wet it was.

kaveh strolled to the side near the edge of the water and sat down pulling his knees to himself. he’d taken his shoes off as soon they stepped on the shore, and now his toes dugged into cooling sand, incoming waves washing over it. he pressed the conch shell to his ear again and closed his eyes. alhaitham held his breath for a second and came a tad closer.

in that moment kaveh’s stature seemed even smaller and more fragile than it already was. soft sunset illuminating his figure made the sight even more so of a painting. a white linen shirt loosely hugged his body. the breezy ocean wind ruffled the hems of it and played with the golden waterfall of his flowing hair. it fell down his shoulders and neck, swaying slightly back and forth, tangling in his fingers clutching the shell. sunlight shined on the crown of his head.

tenderness tugged lightly in alhaitham’s chest. he finally reached kaveh and sat silently by his side.

***

everything inside him felt heavy as the memory of an august sunset and someone’s back in white resurfaced in his mind. motionless and uneasy, alhaitham stood on the same shore and watched the placid ocean waves lapping at the coast. not much had changed there, but right now there was no sun in the sky, the dusk rightfully took its place. it will get dark very soon.

he shouldn’t be here. a trip to port ormos was supposed to be short and on business, but his restless mind somehow brought him here and now he didn’t want to leave.

he slipped his shoes off. it was already full of sand anyway so it didn’t really matter. the feeling of the cold grainy surface against his feet grounded him and he moved further.

he hoped that maybe becoming one with nature for a few minutes would make him forget, that the chilly wind on the nape of his neck would distract him, water caressing his skin would soothe whatever painful spot has flared up because of that memory. another wave suddenly splashed in front of him washing something ashore. a pale red crab crawled past him not bothering to pay any attention to human legs in its way. alhaitham followed a creature with his eyes and then noticed the second gift of the ocean resting by his bare feet. alhaitham felt his heart drop.

a conch shell.

he froze, stupidly staring at it. its shape strangely resembled the one kaveh had found five years ago, but it was visibly battered with the marks of coral growths here and there. it was brought on empty and clean inside, just a casing of what was someone’s home before, the animal leaving it behind.

alhaitham picked it up and sank to the ground. he twirled it in his hands, feeling the form and texture. just an ordinary shell, right? he shut his eyes close and held up the conch to his ear.

the ambient noise filled his hearing. the resonated sound of the ocean waves was the most prominent, the tide clashing against the shore three times louder, the slight howls of the cool evening wind that messed with his hair and gave him chills. alhaitham was sure he could hear his own dull unsteady heartbeat. he thought that maybe, just maybe, if he concentrated and succumbed to his delusions enough he could hear kaveh’s thud laugh or his quiet illegible whispering right into his ear. maybe he could feel the touch of his damp hand on his cheek again.