Strawbrryserena

James: Reg, I can't go alone... please?

Hogwarts first year: PART 1

- Remus was told by his father and by Dumbledore to not make friends. For his own good, supposedly, though it is heavily implied it's because they see him as a danger to the other students. A liability. He tries very hard to avoid friendship, but everybody seems stubbornly determined to hang around him anyway. He feels about 80 years old, pushing everyone away. He's tired just watching all the people in his year gallivanting around, joking, running, laughing. Failing and picking themselves up. But it's alright, Remus came prepared. He knows he will live a lonely life, he's known it since he was 5. And he's alright with it, he is.

- Remus notices Sirius struggling after getting a letter. From my mother, he'd said when James asked, his voice and face completely blank. He notices his night-time crying and the nightmares (James is too heavy a sleeper, and Peter doesn't want to make things awkward). He knows he can't be Sirius' friend, but no one else is stepping up to comfort him. So, Remus puts aside the rules for a second, and gives him the kind of hug Hope would've given.

Sirius had only been hugged twice before; once by Alphard, once by Regulus. He knows what a hug is, but they aren't a part of his life. Remus hugging him is an act of kindness to a level he has never experienced before, and he doesn't know how to process it. They never speak about it again. Sirius is too afraid to try, too afraid to break the... the whatever it is that made Remus do that. Because something that sweet and good can only be fragile. And Sirius is so good at ruining everything. So he pretends it never happened. At least he knows, that way, that he can never have it again. It's safer that way.

- After the sorting, James sees some unreadable darkness on Sirius' face. He looks drawn, hidden, but also clearly terrified. As they're brushing their teeth, James tries to comfort him by reminding him that, despite their differences, family always stick together. Right? Sirius' mask falls for a second, and James realises he looks confused. Is that not something Sirius knew? In that moment, both boys are jarring my confronted to the reality of other families; James to the possibility of a loveless home, Sirius to the possibility of a safe one.

- Lily knows she's lucky with her parents. Letting her be a girl, letting her change schools and pick a new name and grow her hair out. She's terrified when she gets to Hogwarts, because it's a boarding school, which means dorms, and it's posh as all hell, which means traditional values, and it's a brand new culture, which... she has no idea what it means, actually. But if there's one thing about Lily, it's that she's a fighter. She came prepared, with a speech written down on her muggle notebook paper, citing the newly researched wizarding constitutions. She barely walks into the common room before she leaves, marching up to a prefect and demanding a meeting with the head of house. Faced with McGonnagal, she steels herself and begins to fight for her life. Gently, far more gently than she ever does anything, McGonnagal interrupts her. She tells her there's no fight here, not for this. She doesn't have the heart to tell her that she will still have to fight, because she wasn't born of pure blood. Lily's face is so hopeful, so tired. She'll give her one night where she doesn't have to think of battle. Just one night.

- Lily likes Remus. He's quiet and clever and he has a kind of obvious gentleness. She's picky with her friends, but with Sev in Slytherin, she decides Remus will do as a friend in her house. She quickly notices, however, that his isolation is intentional. He leaves whenever somebody tries to talk to him, brushes everyone off kindly and patiently. Eventually, nobody tries anymore, except those three idiots in her year. Lily briefly wonders if he's like her, a boy of his own making. Did nobody tell him it's okay here? She pushes the thought away, knowing she's simply projecting because she yearns for someone like her to talk to. Still, she decides to befriend him anyway. Those three boys, whose names she forgets, are far too pushy. They don't understand people like Remus. They think they can nag their ways into quiet hearts. But Lily has a quiet heart too, and she knows. So, one day, she sits next to him before class, and opens up a book. She tells him she knows they can't be friends, she's seen him say it over and over, but that companionship can be silent. She says she just wants someone to read with, and everybody else is so immature, don't you think? Remus smells a rat, but he's lonely, and he's eleven. He reads with her.

- Peter's annoyed. Jamie keeps fawning over Sirius Black like he's some kind of genius and comedian wrapped in one. Jamie is his best friend, his partner in pranks. Peter decides he hates Sirius. Still, though, he is brilliant, isn't he? Funny like he's never seen, with that amazing hair, and he's so good at magic. Peter decides he worships Sirius. Well, it's easy to do, isn't it? Clearly he's been raised to be a ruler, and though he seems to carry that fate like a sword to his neck, he does it so well. Still, Peter wishes he could shine, too, sometimes. So, when James decides Sirius should be the one to levitate the bucket of sludge over Bellatrix's head, he's annoyed. They all were there during charms lessons! It's not Peter's fault that the Blacks bribe the ministry into removing the trace from their childrens' wands. It's not his fault that Sirius could master a levitating charm by the age of five. It's not his fault Sirius has the perfect bloody life! So, maybe he snaps. And maybe he snaps in such a way he knows will hurt. But it's stupid! Why would Sirius flinch whenever he's called Black? He is a Black! And everybody knows the Blacks have it easy, so why is he complaining?

(and don’t worry it’s all fact checked and accurate)

okay it won’t let me put this in a reply so here it is lol

- ship wolfstar

- kill dumbledore