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I leave early because I feel how my blood starts boiling and if I dont leave I’m gonna blow at them or at whoever is there

Another mom that I like but hmm she is a 4 and I can tell I’m on her target range so I’m keeping distance i don’t think getting closer would help. She seems mad about something. Maybe because I pointed out parent gossiping had bad consequences and she feels like she is one of those parents? I wasn’t talking about her obviously but hey if the stinky shoe fits change it for a non stinky one. That’s a you problem.

so I say Hi to the mom of the kid that bit Nina and caused the whole “I’m too afraid to go to school” period and she acts like she is uncomfortable I do. I dont think it has anything to do with that though.

Lets see. So weird im not sure what to make of it. Today at Nina’s friend birthday there were two girls I later realized are the daughters of the woman the dad from the park briefly dated instead of me before he went back to his wife. I saw them with (who I assume is) their dad the other day. confusing right? So if they hadn’t sent a granma/nanny then I would have been sitting next to her/him that I occasionally see at the park and then I would have to obviously talk to them at the park and then hmm do we trash talk the dad at the park for going back to his wife lol or ackwardly acknowledge we both liked the same dude before or maybe its a “talk to the hand” situation where she stonewalls me from the get go cuz pseudo rivalry or I would have met and sit next to their dad and i don’t know. It doesn’t seem like he has a high opinion of me I get the feeling i was a thorn in the dad-in-the-park and the lady because she would have been in ours if it was the other way around, and so the kids dad that seem to be In friendly terms with their mom take his friend side. But well it was grandma not them phew! and hmm I got the feeling she knew before I recognized them. She gave me a look not a bad one more like complicity. Weird to be connected to them.

Tbh it felt like it took 32 hours to fully get the alcohol out of my system and feel totally sober. Thats kind of insane. One angry orchard. One sangria glass. Scotch eggs and a mezcal cocktail. I’m tired now and feel the spies. It felt great in the moment but the post lethargy is ugh. Am I sad or is it just the alcohol depression and dehydration? Cant tell exactly. I’m getting closer to the I have no excuses and tv is boring me and I need to get the fuck out now and something that I would rather avoid inside me is powerful enough that doing the adulting chores I have been avoiding is less daunting than staying still. Maybe I am an E7. Lol no, i will never be sunny and lighthearted. I am avoiding by doing. Still 8/9. Cant control my rage, def an e8. I’m like a mix of Jen and Judy from Dead to me. Although Judy drives me insane, like a part of me I resent for existing. Maya once said to me that he would prefer if I was actually evil because at least I would mean it and she reminds me of that. For all her good intentions she keeps drowning people and crying about it. Annoying af.

Its not that I’m stubborn is that I am right until you convince otherwise but you didn’t

He lied to get into your pants. Shocking.

what scar did was like every single comment i made seconds after answering him while ignoring the answer, then pick and choose what to respond to, do it with snarck and arrogance but don’t react to the things he couldn’t humiliate or refute with arrogance. Then he acted as if I was being rude to him and he was being a victim of the situation when it was him who insisted on the discussion. Then lied acting like he wasn’t even interested when he was going back to back with me until I said something he just didn’t have argument against but he still defended poorly his pov. He created the pressure then lied saying he was just getting hammered by some intense chick. Pure gaslighting all of it. The same dude that likes all comments for everyone and gets praised for it. Dude then lied to everyone with the “she is just wrong but not a bad person” omg textbook gaslighter. These kids are totally oblivious. Chumps. Swallowed his act entirely. We’ll see how well they handle their first narcissist and psychologically abusive partner.

ESFP SX2 seems like the archetype of a homewrecker. i still dont buy that Se-Fi changes Fi behavior to make emotional expression outward. Supposedly making this bitch a total drama queen. Thats so Fe coded.

whats up with the watermelons pjs and the stares for wearing the occupation’s colors coming from someone that has family in the occupation and thus its army? I know it has meaning but like ehm it really doesnt change my stance. Simply the other breeze dress was too revealing to have around school families. I’ve worn it but with vest. I like playing dress up. Feels like cosplaying spy and fooling others. Its literally a costume. Only works if I know the people around me have been supporting the occupation. There isnt any hate for them in me, more like, I just know their entire lives are lies and feel bad for them, somewhat. Would they keep their head up if they knew with certainty that their lives had suceeded and depended on raping a bunch of kids mostly american? And breaking families and torture and etcetc enter terrible war crime here. Maybe they know now? Have taken time to dig into it? Maybe, if all they do is put watermelons here and there I doubt the moss will show up to the same park they go to size them up like yours truly.

soeaking of travel. Today there was a huge clen up of the suspected pedos upstairs. A family of Spanish speakers moved things out to the garbage and redecorated the patio and door. Not sure what’s up. If they continue tomorrow I’ll ask the lady. Weird thing is I saw the fat neighbor leaving and he wasn’t carrying bags at all. But who knows maybe they didn’t move they just had the apartment cleaned.