L’Étranger

Adeline lounged on her soft mattress, throwing the ball and watched as it arced in the air in a perfect parabola, before bouncing back against the door straight towards her again.

Catch. Throw. Bounce.

The cycle repeated itself, again and again. 

Much like her life, a never-ending strings of ups and hopes, then the inevitable downs and disappointments. And here she waited with bated breath, for the despair after the high, the all consuming void. Silently praying for something, someone to break the cycle. 

She let her mind wander aimlessly, thinking of everything, of nothing; if just to take her mind off from reality for even a little moment.

Just what was she doing here really? Perhaps she ought to backtrack- 

Earlier that morning- 

“Would you braid my hair for me, Adeline?” Renesmee had smiled sweetly, anticipation sparkling in her eyes, holding out a handful of colourful ribbons. 

“Of course.” Adeline acquiesced, she could never say no to a dimpled smile. Cheering, Renesmee went to fetch a stool before seating herself comfortably in front of Adeline. Just a few paces away, lounged Rosalie, sunning herself with a small book clutched in her hand.

Just beyond the veranda they were on, she glimpsed the forever-pissed Edward surprisingly rough-housing with Emmett. Further back in the backyard, sat Jasper and Alice, engaged in some deep conversation. 

For a split second with her attention divided, Adeline watched the duo; to her surprise, the usual frown she had seen etched on Jasper’s forehead was gone and his countenance was relaxed. She turned her attention to Alice who was laughing openly in that bell-like laugh of hers. Adeline forced herself to return to Renesmee’s braid. 

She was still trying to understand the dynamics of the Cullen family. So far, Alice was the only one she had the least interaction with. She probably had even more interaction with Rosalie, who allowed her free access to her wardrobe. And yet, this wasn’t the first time she had seen Alice with Jasper, there was something intimate she could not place her finger on. 

“Jasper and Alice are quite close, aren’t they?” Without much thought, Adeline had already opened her mouth, quizzing Rosalie.

“Hmph. We’ve all been together since the 50s, I would guess that we’re all pretty close.” Rosalie only shrugged and returned a non-committal harrumphed; but Adeline thought she noticed a flash of displeasure in Rosalie’s eyes before they assumed their usual bored look.

“Oh they’re like… really close.” Renesmee suddenly chirped, pulling at her half done braid trying to turn to look at Adeline, smiling innocently. “Like really really close.” 

“Renesmee.” Before she could ask for more details, Rosalie had already interjected sharply with a frown. Adeline watched on with some confusion at the veiled exchange between the two for a few seconds which ended with a petulant pout on Renesmee’s part and a sigh from Rosalie. Sighing in fond exasperation, Rosalie leaned forward to poke Renesmee in the forehead, as if to say what are you angry for now little one. Settling back into her sun chair afterwards, Rosalie gave Adeline a furtive glance before picking up her book moodily. “They joined the coven at the same time, you know. So they’d known each other for some time-”

A large crash resounded from below; distracting the three from their small conversation. A concerned look over the veranda found the two culprits, the ever stoic Edward and fun-loving Emmett, with their backs on the ground laughing, the remnants of the garden fire pit scattered around the two.

“Daddy, who won?!” Renesmee was the first to recover from the little shock, yelling down gleefully at her father.

“Of course it has to be your Uncle Emmett!”

“Don’t listen to the big oaf sweetheart! Of course it was your father!"

The lighthearted banter was infectious and even Rosalie couldn’t help chuckling in amusement at her husband’s antics. Adeline found herself laughing along; feeling herself loosening a bit more than usual, she leaned forward and waved at the two.

“What are you guys? Kids? I’m sure your collective age is like what? Something over four hundred?” 

“Well…” A devilish grin was slowly forming on Emmett’s face as he stooped to pull Edward up from the ground. “You could take on us, ya know.”

Adeline’s brows shot up, momentarily stunned by the playful smirk directed at her. Had she been integrated into the Cullen’s circle without her even being aware?

“Well?” There was no hint of malice, no trap set for her; only an easy countenance, a playful challenge, a simple promise of fun. Somewhere buried deep inside, a spark of competitiveness fought to rise to the challenge. Adeline felt a hesitant smile pulling at her lips, before fully blossoming into a grin, an easy and open grin.  

“You think I wouldn’t?” 

“Alright! I knew you would, new girl. Don’t you have this thing where you can hide really well? 

“Oh? And?” Adeline cocked her head sideways, interest piqued.

“Let’s play a game of hide and seek.” Emmett was grinning like a total maniac.”You hide with whatever powers that you have, and the three of us we find you. Whoever finds you first, wins.” 

Adeline crinkled her nose thoughtfully. “So like a bunny being hunted down by wolves?" 

“Exactly.”

“Alright that’s enough Emmett.” She had almost forgotten the crowd surrounding them, and certainly not Jasper who had somehow crept forward towards his brother and was warily trying to stop the snowball rolling downhill before it was too late. He shot her an accusatory look, as if to reprimand her for spurring Emmett on his whimsy. “Adeline doesn’t-”

“No, no.” Adeline smiled, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “I like this game.” 

And she wondered if there wasn’t also a streak of defiance, riling her up to spite Jasper just a little; to see if he really could do as he said, to prove to him even that his little assumption had been wrong all this wrong, or maybe it was to prove to herself that he had no power over her. 

Returning her attention on Emmett, Adeline fingered her chin thoughtfully.

“But that wouldn’t be fair. You know I’m not a full fledged vampire like any of you. You’ll have to even the grounds a bit.” 

“We’ll give you a head start. Thirty seconds-”

“Wait, we?” Edward echoed at the back and was promptly ignored.

“No, two minutes.”

“Nah, one.” 

“One and a half.”

“Fine.”

“And what’re you gonna give me when you lose?” Adeline leaned forward with her arms crossed, purposefully ignoring Jasper’s death glare and Edward’s woeful complaints at the back.

“Anything you want.” Emmett’s grin was equally competitive. “And I won’t lose."

“I wouldn’t be so sure, hotshot.”

“I didn’t agree to this?! Hello?”

“Well that was eventful.” Rosalie muttered on the side, clearly bewildered by the turn of events.

“Ready?” Alice yelled as Adeline raised her hand from her place at the starting point.

The game was simple. She would have ninety seconds as a head start to throw the lot off. Once it ended, the three vampires, Jasper, Edward and Emmett would be able to start and hunt her down. Whoever got to her first would win.

Emmett, being the perpetrator, had been confident, practically skipping in his spot trying to warm himself up. Edward the whining bugger, had struggled not to roll his eyes in exasperation at being somehow involved into the game. And Jasper, he had not spoken a single word to her since the announcement, and had simply stood there with his mouth set in a grim line. You didn’t need to be an empath to sense the disapproval from a mile away.

Adeline turned resolutely away from his hard stare. Well he wasn’t going to take away her fun just because he disapproved of her budding camaraderie with Emmett or whatever he was currently pissed at her for. She deserved a little bit of fun once in a while too.

“Go!”

Adeline immediately set herself on a deliberate course, her streak of competitiveness all fired up now; like hell was she going easy on any of them. This was the perfect opportunity to get even on them; Edward, that annoying nosy mind-reading son of a bitch, who liked to poke his nose into other businesses where it didn’t belong; and Jasper, he- 

He… Well she was going to prove to him her- ...capabilities!

Really Emmett was simply collateral damage in this; poor guy, she really did quite like him. In fact, she was quite sure that should chance permit, Anakin and him would get along pretty well. Though fingers crossed Rosalie wouldn’t have her head for it. 

That was something close to an hour ago now, and Adeline didn’t think that any of the boys would be back soon.

Her body felt exhilarated after the long and vigorous run; it was great to finally be able to stretch her legs after being cooped in the Cullen’s residence for weeks. Still buzzed from her sprint, she had returned to the house meeting Esme on the way. She, who had flashed her a motherly and indulgent smile, had handed her a cup of pipping hot coffee and ushered her in with small chat. In her room, the sun had just crossed the midline, backlighting her little loft, throwing shadows across the threshold; shrouding everything in a peaceful quiet. 

Lying down on her soft mattress, Adeline pressed her cheeks into the silky cool sheets and the feather soft pillows, a luxury she had come to known in the two weeks here, and allowed her hand to trail along the side of her mattress, drawing invisible symbols into the fluffy carpet. 

Peace and quiet.

She was almost beguiled into believing that this could last.

But of course she was never allowed a happy moment. 

No sooner had her body started to wind down from her high, did her treacherous mind started switching gears, kicking into overdrive; reminding her of every mistake she had made and of every failure that was to come, until there was nothing but a heaviness gnawing in her chest, the incessant whirlpool of a black void, sucking in everything until she was only left with an empty shell. 

She stared at the fluttering shadows on the wall, surrounded by an increasingly oppressive stillness, with static buzzing in the air. Even as images from her past crept on her one by one like a slideshow. The ones she’d never seen; her mind happily supplanted with a little bit of imagination.

Jasper’s frenzied gaze when he stared at the bleeding man in the ravine; the blinding fear she had felt when he had his hand round her throat, crushing her windpipe.

His hollow chuckle when he talked of his days under Maria’s rule.

It had used to be just her morbid fantasies of Jasper’s last moments; swept by the floods, ambushed by the Unions, left to bleed out in the barren land of Texas, food for the vultures, never knowing a moment of rest without a proper burial. There was never a body found, she was free to come up with her own theories.

Now it was infinitely so much worse. 

Because now she knew the truth. 

The shed where all the newborns were kept and ultimately killed in. Bonfires in midnight, burning corpses after corpses. Jasper bending over the decaying body of a young mother, its equally decomposed newborn laying in her arms; the bleeding pastor strewn on the altar; the physician let bled to his death in the morgue; the cheating husband being hung by a pair of lace white stockings. 

Adeline tried not to think of the cause and effect of events because it was an entire rabbit hole on its own. And she certainly needn’t be reminded of all the nights, decades she had spent haunted by the notion of it and the burden it associated with. Perhaps naively, a part of her still held onto hope that if she never gave name to the array of feelings that she felt, then it would have bothered her less.

Her wandering hand clasped on a random stress ball she had snagged from somewhere before, and she began to bounce it against the door not far from her, trying in vain to distract her mind.

Catch. Throw. Bounce.

There were other things she had refused to acknowledge too.

Catch. Throw. Bounce.

That perhaps running was the only thing she was ever good at; running away from her problems, from her past, her family, her pain. She ran to forget, to escape, to break free, to obliviate. But no matter her course, no matter the ferocity she put into her escape each time; she was always led back to the same point, over and over again.

So she learnt to live with it, to be better at hiding her scars, her pain. 

And he will never know. Adeline would make sure of that. 

He must never know a single thing.

When my time here is up here, she thought to herself. When Jasper’s infatuation with discovering her again had been exhausted, and she was sure that Jasper would leave Loreen alone, she will disappear from the face of this world, once and for all. Her last repentance. Her final salvation.

But is that truly alright with you?

A small voice asked.

Because despite it all, was there not even a small part of yourself that wanted to be found? To be loved, to be cared for?

She forced herself not to look out of the skylight to seek out the light of day. In the dark, she listened closely to all the creaks and groans of the house, the rhythmic bouncing of the ball; waiting, anticipating, the silent footsteps that would never come.

And with a twist of the door knob, he would allow in a trickle of light- 

Adeline snorted at her imagination then. Good grief, what was she doing now. This was hilarious.

‘To want and not to have, sent all up her body a hardness, a hollowness, a strain. And then to want and not to have- to want and want- how that wrung the heart, and wrung it again and again!’

Immersed in her own little world, she failed to notice the creak of the floorboards, the groan of the lock as it was turned until the door opened.

A lone figure stood at the entrance to the hallway, his face backlit and she couldn’t discern his features in that instant. Caught off guard, she had allowed the ball to leave her hand, flying straight towards the figure. But of course he would catch the ball squarely in his palm.

“So you’re here.”

Adeline felt her eyes growing huge as saucers, her brain short circuiting, refusing to function at all. She suddenly felt her throat closing up, a torrent of emotion seizing her windpipe and rendered her momentarily speechless.

Dearest Adeline, be careful of what you wish for…

“You found me.” She finally whispered dumbly, still reeling from the shock of Jasper’s sudden intrusion.

“So this is your room.” Jasper murmured, stepping into her room when she made no move to voice her opposition. She was suddenly conscious of the state of her room, or the lack thereof really. Plain and bland, just like her. “It’s… comfy.”

“It’s bare.” The words tripped out of her mouth without thought and Adeline had to bite her tongue to prevent herself from saying more.

“So did you actually win or have you guys all given up and you’re just here to collect me for the awards?”

Jasper hummed for a second, playing catch with the ball.

“No, I won. Last I heard Emmett thinks you headed north, I’d say he’d probably be at Ellis Mountain by now. Edward’s probably still circling around Lake Pleasant.”

“Oh dear.” Adeline sighed and made a move to get up from her bed. “Someone should really go find them and tell them that the game’s over with.”

But Jasper only remained in his position, leaning against the wall. Watching her.

“What?!”

“Aren’t you interested to know how I found you?”

Adeline jerked her head back sharply and turned to study him critically.  A sharp retort forming on the tip of her tongue, all of which she swallowed back in the last minute, not wanting to appear hysterical at the turn of events. Finally, she settled for perching on the edge of her mattress and crossing her arms in feign nonchalance.

“Well I’m all ears.” 

“I didn’t cheat if that’s what your concern is.” He glanced at her again, still with that appraising look, as if trying to gauge her reaction. “Do you notice that while you can hide very well, you don’t necessarily hide your tracks?” 

“…Go on.”

“After your head start, you first headed straight north into the woods and crossed the camp grounds outside of Forks. After you reached the mouth of Tassel Creek, you pretended to follow the Sol Due River to throw us off, when in reality you concealed your scent and crossed the river. On the other side, you went for another five miles east before deliberately leaving your scent and some trail marks there again to to make us think that you went further north into the mountains, but what really happened was that that was the furthest you went. By then, you turned back south for another two miles before going down a ravine and zig-zagging back home. You didn’t even bother to conceal your scent by the time you reached Calawah River. And then you simply walked yourself home and went in the house through the front."

Be careful of what you wish for Adeline.

Adeline gaped, flabbergasted by the dedicated and meticulous recall of her exact course of route. She felt a chill running down her spine, and-

And then she broke into peals of laughter.

Clutching at her chest, Adeline felt her laugh teetering on the brink of hysteria, letting out all the pent up emotions inside her chest. She didn’t know what this mix of feeling was, probably a mixture of frustration, shock, horror and maybe even a hint of fond exasperation that someone was willing to spend so much time on her.

“Oh my god.” She wheezed, trying desperately to slow her breath, this was bordering on being rude now. She pictured her mind unravelling at the seams, a downright nervous breakdown.

“Right.” She coughed and raised a hand to wipe at the corners of her eyes. “Sorry, this was just-”

“Hilarious.” Hysterical. No that wasn’t right either, Adeline shook her head at a loss for words. “No sorry, not hilarious. Just… wow. Colour me impressed, Major Whitlock. Wow.”

But Jasper merely squinted at her in silence, toying with the little stress ball in his hand.

“Are you?”

“What?” 

“Really impressed.”

“Of course!” 

They lapsed into an awkward silence, in which Jasper seemed to be deliberating something to himself; and when he finally broke eye contact, Adeline thought there was some sort of resolution in his eyes. It was so fleeting that she thought it was a trick of the light and the next thing she knew he was aiming the ball at her.

Adeline gave a yelp of surprise, lunging forward out of reflex to catch the little ball.

“What was that for?!” She shot him an accusatory glare.

“You owe me a favour.” Jasper’s face remained neutral, never betraying a single emotion. But she was sure that beneath the surface, there was a storm brewing.

“What?”

“Go out with me. Tomorrow.”

“What? What’re you talking about?!”

“Rosalie said you needed new clothes and didn’t you say you wanted to see the ocean, right?”

“What does that have to do with this?!”

“You lost the bet, you got to repay the favour.”

“Oh for Christ sake.”

“Be ready by nine.”

There was a ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he turned to make his exit.

For a while Adeline remained stunned.

Bloody hell.

What was life? Blasted Virginia Woolf had asked.

If he were to be completely honest, life was probably a sea, a sea of pain and suffering combined. To reach a high, only for everything to come crashing down. The higher you got, the greater you fell, and the pit was a bleak place to be, a silent screaming void.

But there were moments of clarity.

“What? You guys playing chess now?” Adeline gestured at Bella and Edward, up against each other, incredulous. “Really? Right after baseball? Haven’t you had enough competition to last you guys for the entire week?”

But even as she rolled her eyes, there was an air of ease around her and he didn’t miss the amusement twinkling in her eyes. She had let her hair loose from its usual braid after her bath, the scent of baby powder invading his sense, as she plopped herself down right next to him on the sofa to follow the game more closely. 

“What’s this Jas?” Adeline pointed to the chessboard left on the table.

“It’s a chessboard.” Here. He pulled out the black and white chess pieces from a velvet pouch. “This dear, is chess.”

“Oh wow… Ralph always wanted to teach me, but I never bothered to try understanding.” Adeline scrutinised the pieces closely. And then sat up straight again in great enthusiasm. “So are you going to teach me? Or am I supposed to figure out everything myself?”

Jasper grinned. “Watch and learn.”

...

“Hey no fair!” Adeline whined petulantly. “You cheated!”

“No I didn’t, darling. You’re just too bad at it.” Jasper grinned. Adeline had always been a sore loser. He watched in amusement as the girl pouted and crossed her arms glaring back at him.

“Rematch. I want a rematch!”

“Sure thing darling. As long as you’re ready to be beaten again.”

“I won’t!”

Without his major advantage, Edward had, in reality, only managed to win by a thin margin. But it did nothing to keep the smirk from his face, even as his wife simply shrugged in good humour at her loss.

“He’s way more skilled than I am.” Bella explained, before gesturing for Adeline to take her place. Adeline for her part held up her hands in protests, but she was no match to Bella’s stubbornness. When she had her seated where she wanted, Bella immediately turned her grin onto him. Behind her, Jasper could feel Adeline’s frantic gaze on him even as she shook her head discreetly at him. 

On the other of the room, he thought he could hear Edward sniggering.

Jasper sighed.

There was really no winning those two.

Knight was in H3, her queen might be close but she didn’t exactly have enough pieces to protect her king. Adeline was losing her match even if she hadn’t noticed that herself.

Yet the way she had grinned in anticipation, so sure of herself every time she thought she had made a spectacular move, or the way when she gasped audibly, eyes wide in defeat; he had not missed any of her expressive reactions.

Just this once, Jasper promised to himself, he would let her win. 

And then she would smile at him her wonderful smile- 

“Don’t you go easy on me now Whitlock.” Adeline had said pointedly at him at the beginning of the game and Jasper guessed he really should’ve seen it coming a mile away.

The way she had held herself poised, there was a newfound coolness that came with age, and even as she slid the chess pieces in place, her gaze was calculating. Surveying the board, analysing each other’s next move.

Jasper was surprised to find himself cornered so soon. And as she slid her her queen to its destination, Adeline couldn’t keep the smug grin off her face anymore. He had been vanquished, brutally so by his once protégé. Somehow, somewhere, she had learnt, to be faster, to be smarter; and then she had crushed him with her new skills and cunningness.

But as he looked up from his lost match- 

Nothing could keep the grin off her face any longer.

Smile blossoming, face flushed from her excitement. 

Eyes sparkling like diamonds in the dim room.

Reaching out her pointer finger, she gave his queen a lazy little push, toppling it.

The Adeline from his memory merged with the present Adeline to become one.

“Checkmate.” 

“Checkmate.”

For a moment Jasper was struck dumb, the phantoms of his past had returned to haunt him at long last. He was caught in the eye of the storm, while the rest continued to brew and crash around him, he was frozen in his place, suspended in time, whit noise buzzing in his ears.

"What?" Adeline laughed, openly now. "Cat got your tongue?"

"You... won." He knew he sounded stupid, But he needed to process what he had just witnessed.

The Adeline from his memory had overlapped with the Adeline sitting right in front of him; he had glimpsed into the past had had confused it with the present. 

But even as he watched on, Renesmee linking hands with Adeline and swinging them merrily, while Adeline turned to bicker with Edward on something silly and Bella laughingly observing at the side. Something in him clicked.

This Adeline was his Adeline.

Changed but also unchanged; here was Adeline. 

Because without her past, she would not be the Adeline she was today. Somewhere inside, their shared memories had continued to live on, morphing, shaping their entwined destiny. She had not chosen to change willingly just as he had never asked to be changed. Life had simply happened. 

So what if she was not ready to open up to him. There was no use pressing her just for an answer right now. He could wait a hundred years, two hundred more. When the time was right, he trusted her to tell him her truth, just as she had done so for him.

So long as she was finally here with him now, what did anything else matter? 

Why should anything else matter?

What was life again? He still didn’t know.

But he continued to fight on, if only for a moment of clarity.

Moment like these; moments he treasured more than anything in the world, specks of illumination in the deepest part of the void.  

Little miracles in this sad excuse he called life.

Every smile another weight off his shoulder, every laugh like music to his ears. 

And he lived for them.

From the hospital, instead of heading home he drove her towards the coast. Adeline didn’t object, not when he pulled them out of town, nor when he took the wrong turn that bridged towards the interstate. She had simply leaned on her arm, face angled towards the window, looking out at the passing scenery. But he didn’t miss the stiffness in her shoulder, the tension, how resolutely she avoided looking at him, her attention focused on anything and everything outside instead.

Not that he expected anything less. Not after what had happened. 

Jasper never minded the silence, if you had asked his siblings, they would all have attested that he was the most difficult person to engage in conversation with, probably in the whole wide world. But Adeline was different, and she had always had an effect on him, he couldn’t bear this stifling silence between them. This coldness, this callousness.

How did one person be physically so close and yet still felt lightyears away? 

He would always, always want to bridge this distance between them. Jasper’s mouth opened and closed, forming silent vowels and consonants, his mind grappling desperately for something to speak of, to break this silence-

“How did you do it?” 

“Do what?” Adeline asked in a squawk, startled from her own reverie, side-glancing at him over her shoulder in panic.

Jasper wanted to bang his head over the steering wheel in an instant, what a great way to start a conversation. 10 out of 10 would not recommend. 

He swallowed nervously, mind racing. “How did you control it? The thirst.”

“Um…” Adeline scratched her neck awkwardly and seemed to ponder on the question for a moment. “I was only ever taught to feed on animals. Hettie made sure I never took a drop of human blood, at least not while she was at it.”

“Your grandmother?”

“My sister.” She made a face at him before relaxing her facial features, a faraway look in her eyes. “She always did have an iron will, that one.”

“You don’t say.” Jasper retorted with a snort. 

“Oh don’t deny it.” There was a slight shift in the air, almost tangible, and he could see the spark of mischief in her eyes. Mischief he thought he’d never seen again in those constant sombre cornflower eyes. “I’ve seen the way you cower in fear whenever she had you cornered.” 

“I did not.”

“You totally did.” Adeline’s lips curled into a blatant smirk now. “Remember when we went berry hunting after sundown?” 

Sparing her another glance from the roads, he could see her hunched over with her face in her palm, grin wide, observing him with anticipation and open innocence.

“Or that time when we went storm chasing over the plains?”

Her eyes sparkled in the setting sun, and no amount of stars or suns could ever compare to their shine. He could instantly feel the nostalgia she emanated on the surface, that and the bittersweetness, the melancholy that came bubbled within lacing together with her previous unease. Her eyes were dimming again, no doubt consumed by the weight of her memories. It suddenly struck him that she had no one to talk with, about the things passed and bygone. Not since all those years, not since when he died, or when Henriette died. And even if he was the last person on earth she wanted to associate with, he was also the only person who remembered, about them, about Henriette, about a past she treasured so deeply he was sure was already etched into her very existence. 

“She almost had my head.”

“Because the lightning had burned down the barn to its ground. And it was practically raining hail…” 

And he was seventeen again. The gale howling in his ears, in contrast to Adeline’s excited shrieks. The looming clouds hung close to the greenish tinted horizon, the hail raining as if it was the end of the world. But in their small alcove, a small recess between the rocks, they were safe. Even if their thin shirt was soaked through, sticky like a second skin, body shivering from the cold; they were protected from the clashing lightning and raining hail. Pressed closed to each other, they might as well have been the last two person alive on earth- 

Struggling not to be enveloped into an incessant whirlpool of nostalgia, Jasper broke away from her stare again and focused on the roads once more. 

Adeline sighed and wrapped her arms tighter around herself as she slinked her shapely legs over the dashboard, leaning backwards into her seat. She appeared smaller, tinier; defeated. The hollow around her eyes deepened and her eyes were glazed over.

“Jasper. Do you remember it all?”

“Yes.” 

Lapsing into another protracted silence, they pulled into an isolated lookout, facing the expansive Pacific Northwest. Jasper faced the ocean, the setting sun burned in the distance, offering what little warmth it remained. Behind him, Adeline pulled herself onto the car’s hood and crossed her legs, observing him gingerly. In that moment, their world was painted golden, the last of the sun rays lighting up her hair, her lashes, her clear eyes sparkling. And yet the hint of sombreness never quite leaving her frame. He stuffed his hands into his pockets to hide the tremor in them.

“Aren’t you going to ask me?” Unable to withstand another second of stillness, Jasper finally voiced the burning question he had been harbouring all these time. 

Adeline squinted her eyes at him, before looking away towards the ocean; and he fancied there was a hint of gentleness “I figured you’d tell me when you wanted to.”

Jasper’s chuckle was hallow. “Just like old times then, huh?”

Her lips lifted to form a sad little smile. “Yeah. Just like old times.” 

Jasper gave another humourless laugh. “The thing is… I don’t even know where to begin.”

In truth, in those early formative days, he only ever remembered the pain. That and the thirst. That unquenchable thirst.

There was no order, and close to no guidance; nothing from his supposed patron. 

Go on, Maria had encouraged. Take a bite from him, poor Jasper, all famished.

The screams reverberated throughout the barn.

And when he was done, there was only a mangled body on the floor.

You don’t need to control it, let your anger takeover you. Feed whenever you’re hungry.

But the pain never left.

The more he was in pain, the more he excelled. 

In time she would prefer him disciplined. Once she appreciated his ability and his military skills. 

Soon he was second in command to her army, the army of newborns under his care. And for his to dispose once their time was up.

It just became a new source of pain. He crippled under the pain, the pain and the terror of his preys, on every subject he had killed. Their pain become his. It became like a ritual everyday, until it numbed him and there was nothing left for him but pain and thirst.  

Of course Maria would not understand a thing of his struggle. 

Am I not enough for you? Maria had asked when she failed to pursue him.

His thoughts were always on someone else. 

His only solace amongst his torment. 

On his worst nights, he thought of giving into his weakness, to seek her out, his sweet Adeline, if she was turned, they would be together for an eternity then. But he couldn’t bare the thought of her in pain, and in constant shame just as he was now. 

He loved the life in her eyes too much to want to be the one to extinguish it. 

At least one of them was alive and well, he thought. That was enough. 

And Maria had to rip his only comfort from him. 

“Do you want to know how she died?”

Maria had whispered in his ear, poison to his heart.

“She was eight months pregnant, her water broke early and they had to call in the midwife to deliver. They couldn’t even find the local doctor, he was at a pub, with her very husband, drinking and whoring. 

“The ordeal lasted the whole night. And when the baby finally came…”

It was a stillbirth, such a tiny little thing, a little girl, with golden curls and baby blue eyes and cord round her neck.

The servants whispered that their mistress had held her baby tight all night, even as her blood flowed from below, so much blood. and she got colder and colder. Waiting, waiting for her husband who would never come.

“And she never once cried a tear.

“Poor little things, left alone to die.

“No priests to deliver them to rest. He was too hungover to give his sermon. 

“Buried, forgotten, just like all them unwanted girls and wives.”

He would find the the alleged men, the husband, the doctor, the priest. All the men who had owed her and her baby girl. Tortured them for hours on end, watched in sick satisfaction as the life in their eyes distinguished one by one. The terror in their dying eyes, the thrill in his body, the venom in his veins singing. Blood, blood and violence.

Violence was his nature in those early years. 

Love had changed him.

Love had made him into something he could not recognise. 

Only when he had taken a closer look at her portrait, would he realise, it wasn’t even her who had died. 

And when he confronted the vampire, she had merely smiled. 

“Oh but I thought it was her, I’m sorry Jasper.” 

Without his anchor, he felt the last shred of his sanity, hanging by a string snapping;  the last of his humanity shattered into a million pieces, and he fell into a downward spiral.

Maria had won, she had broken him completely-

Jasper felt a hand pressing to his mouth, silencing him, preventing him from speaking another word. There she was, his Adeline, inches from him, looking as if she was ready to burst into tears. Twice she had looked at him like that. The first time when they were in the clearing, and now. He knew he could stop her if he wanted to, he was the stronger and he could easily overpower her in a blink. But he wouldn't.

Not when she looked as if she had shouldered a life's worth of sorrow. 

“I…” Her lips wobbled and even when she tried to smile, there were unshed tears in her eyes. 

Tell me darling, why do you look so sad? For whom do you cry those tears for, in the darkness? What are the nightmares that plague you in the dead of the night, that render you so afraid of sleep?

“You don’t need to tell me the rest if you don’t want to.” Adeline finally croaked, her voice hoarse from all the emotions raging within her. It was getting hard to breathe, from the pressure in his chest, the smouldering storm he could no longer distinguish from whom it had originated from. Slowly, he reached a hand up to peel away Adeline’s hand, before interlacing it into his and placing a chaste kiss to the back of her hand.

He ignored the sharp intake she took, or the tremor in her hand, and tightened his hold over hers. And she never once fought to free herself from his grip. Adeline merely took a step forward and crumpled into him, her free hand grasping onto his shirt tighter and tighter, gasping for air.

The silence between them, always shifting and morphing along with their emotions, like waves ebbing and flowing with the tide. Right now it was welcomed; the fragility of the moment, it was something more than spoken words could ever convey or bridge. Because words were merely spoken fancies, and it carried none of the weight as the silence did now; no word could ever connect two separate hearts as much as one look, or a single touch could. 

His pain that she felt so acutely like her very own. 

“I won’t if you don’t want me to.”

“Why are we here again?”

The storm was rolling in from the west, the wind screeching and the thunder was close to deafening. Adeline lowered her gaze from the darkening sky to survey her surrounding again, the entire Cullen clan were here; and they were in a wide field deep in the mountains, a rudimentary diamond was drawn on the ground to resemble-

“Well, it’s baseball! It’s the all American pastime!” Was Emmett’s deafening bellow right beside her, excitement practically vibrating off his body, and he looked at Adeline as if he was unable to comprehend just why she was so unwilling to be part of the game.

“Jesus Christ! At least give a girl some warning!” Adeline couldn’t help rolling her eyes at the giant.

“Relax.” In return, Emmett only gave her a goodnatured slap on the back. “It’d be fun. You can even pick which team you want to be on! Wait, or have you never even played baseball before?”

Annoyed, Adeline went to kick the big oaf in the shin and grouched. “I have! So stop being obnoxious!”

Turning around, she buried her face into her hands and groaned. Just what had she gotten herself into?! She had only wanted to kill some time; the days had seemed to drag on and on and it irked her to no end whenever she saw Jasper loitering around. Recalling that day when she had woken to find Jasper walking in on her napping at the cliff side, it filled her heart with an indescribable heaviness; so heavy it weighed on her like an anchor, while she was a raft in the raging sea, fighting to keep her head afloat. He had been nonchalant and casual about it but somehow she felt exposed, vulnerable even, as if he had glimpsed into one of her deepest darkest secret.

It didn’t help that she had dreamt of him.

It only made it worse.

Adeline couldn’t help it, she couldn’t even look the man in the eye without having an internal crisis or the urge to run in the exact opposite direction.

Running, it really was the only thing she was ever good at.

But as she turned her attention back to the rest of the clan, the game was already about to begin, what was left was choosing your own team. And it sure as hell won’t be her being stuck with Mr Moody and Mr Angsty. She narrowed her eyes before edging closer to Bella and clutched at her sleeves in big exaggerated motion and leaning forward to speak into Bella’s ear as if in secrecy.

“Bella. Protect me from your evil eavesdropping husband, will you?” Adeline’s loud voice was audible throughout the entire field.

Bella eyes widened for a fraction before almost doubling down in laughter. “Of course!” She smiled brightly before smirking at her husband. Adeline received Edward’s deadly stare with a sweet innocent smile.

In the end the group was split into two teams. Renesmee and Esme would be the umpires, Adeline would be team with Carlisle, Emmett and Bella while the rest would be on the other.

Adeline watched on as Carlisle went for his first hit with Alice being the pitcher.

“What’s the point if she can predict the future?” Adeline raised an eyebrow at Emmett in question. “I mean, she knows how to play to win doesn’t she?”

“Well not necessarily. Sometimes her sights change accordingly and unexpectedly. And, drumroll please - we have you!”

“Me?” She pointed at herself in surprise.

“Yes you! You’re our wild card now! Alice can’t see, not when you’re involved. So with you on our team, we’re bound to win for once.”

“Interesting observation.” Adeline murmured, eyeing Alice again with newfound interest.

And then the game began.

For all her whining and complaining, Adeline actually found herself enjoying it.

Even as she stood in position, watching Alice keenly, holding her breath, the ball thrown in the most elaborate pitching position she had ever seen. Her senses were tingling.

Now-!

She hit the ball with all her might feeling it ricochet against the metal bat before throwing it and started her run. Her heart was pumping furiously in her chest, the last of the winter chill cutting into her face, her limbs were stretched in the best way; and she had never felt so alive for a very long time. She spared a glance at the boys off to chase her ball, but her hair kept flapping into her eyes and she had to look away. Second plate then third; her eyes were solely trained on the fourth- home.

The whoosh around her ears were almost deafening.

“She’s in!!!”

And she was home.

Adeline had barely gotten herself up before she was lifted up by a pair of strong arms and given a bear hug.

“You did it new girl!”

And just for that moment, the excitement was infectious and she found herself yelping and jumping along.

“Oh my God! We did it old boy! We’re one point in!” Adeline clapped at Emmett good-naturedly and grinned at Carlise before turning around to hug Renesmee and Bella who were cheering her on along. “I’ve never had so much fun in a while.” She explained when they finally calmed down; choosing to ignore the pointed look Jasper threw her as she hung around Emmett’s side.

From there on, she tracked the ball much more closely, letting out little sighs and exclamations here and there.

*

After the first round, albeit with more than a little luck, they had managed to secure quite some points to make a significant lead. And if they managed to play it right- which was not to say she welcomed the idea of her being pitcher.

Rolling her eyes again at the giant who had forced her into her current predicament, Adeline readied herself for her next pitch.

The game hadn’t been entirely in vain; she had kept an eye on the other Cullens. Just… to make sure who she was not to cross in case anything happened.

Edward was the fastest, there was no doubt in it. While Emmett might be strong, he was certainly competitive, but when you aim to win, you become careless. Rosalie was neither strong nor fast, but for what she lacked, she compensated with a ruthlessness and decidedness. Bella was, sadly, the most lacking in skills. But then Adeline supposed she was too much of a gentle being to be rough housing with the boys.

Jasper though, Jasper was on another level. Adeline finally understood why she had lost to Jasper in that clearing.

He was speed combined with strength, as well as cunningness. He was basically the ultimate package, the perfect example of a predator at the top of the chain.

Even as he stood, mere meters from her position as the pitcher, iron bat in hand; Adeline couldn’t help appraising the man in front of her, sizing up those muscular arms, the scars littered over his exposed neck, the confident countenance he held. She licked her lips and gulped nervously, barely able to hold eye contact with the man for longer than a glance. He was dangerous, it was almost… attractive.

Adeline shifted her grip on the ball, pulse thundering in her ears, palms sweaty. Briefly considering her options, she realised with a start that there was no way around it, no matter how well she played her shot, Jasper would win this strike.

Jasper always wins.

When the party finally broke for a long needed break, Adeline’s team was only leading by a close margin. She had lost all three strikes to the man somehow and all her previous enthusiasm was gone, doused by a bucket of cold water.

She desperately needed to clear her head.

Muttering a quick apology to Emmett and Bella with a hurried smile, Adeline ducked under the canopy of firs. Up ahead there was a sharp dive, the landmass morphing to form a large ravine. Trudging slowly downwards towards the rocky bank where the remnants of a shallow creek was bubbling, Adeline brought a hand to rub at her face and heaved a long sigh, exhaustion overtaking her body, a chill seeping out from deep within her bones. She folded into herself, arms clutching tightly around her thin frame to gather whatever warmth was left. What was she feeling? Defeat? Disappointment? Discontent at losing?

No that wasn’t it. It was something… something more latent.

Something shiny caught her eye and Adeline crouched down to pick at the light buried amongst the leaves, deftly she retrieved a silver dog tag. Rubbing the dirt away from the surface, she blew on it and tried to read the engravings on the tag.

LJ Smith.

She almost missed the crunch of leaves behind her.

Almost.

“What is it that you want Jasper?” She didn’t even need to turn around to know who it was.

“What’s that?” The man behind her gestured to the silver tag she was holding.

“Someone must have left it behind.” Adeline shrugged, pretending to be nonchalant.

But he was sharper.

“I saw you leaving.” He tone was even, and yet it felt like an accusation at her all the same. She whirled around to face the man she had once called her beloved, the same person who she felt more distant than ever in this fucking moment. So close they could almost touch, and yet so painfully away.

“What’s wrong? You know you can tell me-”

“I would, but there’s nothing wrong. Really.”

He looked searchingly before sighing bitterly. “You still don’t trust me.”

“What, no- this has nothing to do with anything!” Adeline spluttered, throwing her hands in the air.

“I can feel you.” Jasper smiled self-depreciatingly. “You had fun back there. Before you had to play against me, you were starting to have fun, weren’t you? But you can’t even look me in the eye the moment I-”

“Why do you have to be so fucking persistent?” Her lips trembled at the outburst. “Fine. I’m terrified! I’m terrified of you. Are you happy now?”

It came out in the spur of the moment, this confession. And the moment it came out of her mouth, Adeline regretted it instantaneously. It was evident that it was nothing Jasper had anticipated. She had to look away to avoid meeting those tawny eyes, out of fear she would see something that would break her resolve.

“Why?”

Adeline had to smother the urge to cry out in frustration then and there. Of all the things he could ask!

“Just- Because!” She gestured wildly, looking frantically at anything but Jasper.

Because I’m drowning in you. She realised with a start, the realisation dawning of her. And I’m terrified that… I might just let myself drown. Willingly.

Were the confessions on the tip of her tongue, all of which she swallowed back with a gulp.

“Because you’re an apex predator and you lie and you scheme. So… I can’t trust you.”

She knew how to strike where it hurt the most.

Adeline finally allowed her gaze to settle on Jasper, and watched the mask on his stoic face crack, if just for a second.

“Look I’m sorr-”

There was a loud crack at the bottom of the ravine. And Jasper was instantly by her side, a protective arm in front of her.

“Did you hear that?”

It was from the bottom of the ravine.

“You don’t think…” Adeline held up the dog tag again, the implication heavy in the air.

Jasper nodded once, before stepping down slope with Adeline following close behind.

A large boulder was at the bank of the small creek, there splattered on its smooth surface was a blotch of fresh blood, scattered around it was more. As they followed the trail of blood, the stench was also getting stronger.

Adeline didn’t miss the way Jasper’s shoulders tensed, or the way he froze when they came upon the injured man shivering in the hollow of the ferns.

The first thing Adeline noticed was the open fracture over his left tibia, the sharp fragment sticking out at an angle. He was hyperventilating, his chest rising up and down awkwardly, and when Adeline rushed forward to check him for any other injuries, she noted the bruises littered all over his abdomen.

“I fell.” The man was barely conscious and could only wheeze out a single audible answer.

Realising the severity of the situation, Adeline turned back to where Jasper was still standing at a distance away.

“We need to get Carlisle and get him to a hospital! I think he’s broken a few ribs and might have caused a pneumothorax, and the bruises on his tummy, I’m worried about internal lacerations and haemorrhage. We need to get him into an operating theatre immediately!”

There was no reply.

“Jasper? Jasper!”

Jasper’s jaws were set, fists tightly clenched on his sides, shaking madly and she noted how he gulped, his Adam’s apple bopping up and down, his eyes hadn’t even shifted from the man for the last minute or so.

For the first time since being around him, Adeline felt genuine fear coursing through her veins. She turned towards the man again, making the connection.

Blood and thirst. Bloodlust.

He was trying with all his might to restrain himself. But how long before his resolve broke, before he attacked the injured man. He would attack her too then, if she stood in his way, or worse, drain her. It wasn’t unheard of before, half breds made exceptionally tasty meals. She wouldn’t be able to fight him, that was illustrated time and again. She was the weaker, in an unbiased fight, she would always lose.

Her self-preserving instinct screamed in her ears: run, leave the man to his fate, now’s the time to run-

But she couldn’t leave him like that.

He would blame himself for the rest of his life. Another spot on his conscience. He might not have realised, but she had studied him too. Had noted the foul mood slipping on occasionally, the self-deprecating smiles, the pained expressions, haunted looks.

Things she recognised from herself.

Run you stupid girl. Do you understand what kind of mess you’re getting yourself into?

It was a split second decision.

You’ll never be able to leave him.

In that moment, he needed her more than she needed her escape.

Adeline got up slowly, heart hammering in her chest, the fear was making her nauseous, but she paid no heed. She needed to get through to him, to get him to calm down, distract him long enough to leave. Stepping closer cautiously so as not to awaken the predator within the man, Adeline finally got in front of Jasper, blocking his visual field.

“Hey Jasper, it’s me. It’s Adeline.” She coaxed gently. At first he showed no recognition of her, teeth bared at her with a feral growl. Adeline forced herself to stay calm and repeated his name like a mantra. “Its me Jasper, your Adeline.”

Gradually, almost too slowly, Jasper shifted his gaze onto her, eyes as black as coals. But one groan from the man behind and he was immediately distracted. Her heart stopped with it at the same time. Taking in another shaky breath, she returned all her attention only on the man just inches in front of her now, Adeline gingerly reached out her hands towards Jasper, gently settling them on both of his shoulders first, grounding him to her presence first, before gently, tracing a hand up to hold his face.

“Jasper. Look at me, listen to me, just focus on my voice.”

His attention was on her again, leaning into her palm, he folded forward so that their faces were inches apart only, taking in her scent.

“There you go. You’ve done well, Just feel me here, this moment, with you…” She continued softly. “I know you feel the thirst, and I know it hurts like the hell, the pain… but remember this isn’t you. I know you don’t want to hurt him.”

Jasper finally closed his eyes, seemingly recollecting himself in that moment.

“I don’t know how Adeline…”

“You can do this…" She could almost feel the ghost of his sigh on her lips, and she licked her lips again. She hadn’t been in such proximity with anyone in forever.

“I believe you.” She breathed. “I know you can do it. You can control yourself.”

“What if I can’t?”

“Look at me.” She willed him to look at her, bore her gaze into his. Holding her hand out for him to take, he reluctantly allowed her to entwine their fingers together. "I’m here and I won’t let you… Do you trust me?”

“Aren’t you afraid I’m going to attack you first? You do smell… divine…” There was that playful undertone she had missed.

“I trust you.” She murmured, not missing the way his shoulders stiffened for a split second before relaxing.

Jasper closed his eyes and rested against her forehead, taking deep breaths as if to calm himself.

In that moment, there was a connection, an exchange of sorts; and Adeline fancied that for a while, Jasper had laid his heart bare for her to see.

Now you’re trapped forever.

“Ok.” Still taking in another breath, he nodded with resolve. “I can do this.”

She smiled for the first time, a tired relieved smile, and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Go get Carlise and get the car ready.”

She knew he wanted to linger on the moment just for another second, but the injured man wouldn’t heal himself, so she gave him a push. His hand lingering on hers briefly before turning the other way to alert the others.

Adeline took a deep breath to quell her treacherous heart before turning on her heels, steeling her nerves and approached the man again.

Carlise was by her at an instant with Edward surprisingly, by which she had already exposed and meticulously assessed the man’s injuries, and had fashioned a tourniquet to tie around his legs to stop the bleeding from the fracture site

“He has an open fracture over his left tibia, a flail chest and I suspect, a right pneumothorax. And the bruises over his abdomen, I’m worried about internal bleeding.” She reported to the doctor, her hands never once stopping in her work.

“We need to decompress the pneumo first then send him to the hospital immediately. Edward hand me a 14 gauge needle, its right inside the first aid kit. Adeline hold his head and neck.” Carlise was already percussing along the injured man’s chest, locating the right intercostal space and disinfecting it with an alcohol swab.

“I’m not sure if there’s any potential spinal fracture, I wasn’t confident enough to check…” Adeline blabbered on.

“It’s alright Adeline, you’ve done great enough. Now hold him tight.” Carlise murmured as he delivered the needle into the mid intercostal space, and Adeline let out the breath she had been holding unconsciously as the air gushed out from the needle.

*

“You did it Adeline Ruelle.” Edward drawled sarcastically, dropping down next to her on one of those ugly plastic hospital chairs. “You saved a man from his premature death.”

“Oh go fuck off somewhere else Edward Cullen.” Adeline shifted uncomfortably in her dingy seat, rubbing her tired face, the exhaustion creeping over her again. Everything was too bright, too sterile, she hated hospitals, always had. They reminded her of war, of pandemics, of death. “The man’s not even out of OT yet.”

She was surprised when a coffee was shoved into her hands, by none other than Edward himself.

“Take it. God knows why you love this thing without sugar or milk is beyond me.”

Holding the plastic cup in her hands, Adeline savoured the warmth radiating from her cup of liquid caffeine and took a sip, the taste of cheap coffee invading her tongue, badly roasted, for what it lacked in aroma it compensated with bitterness. It really was just cheap coffee, but she appreciated the sentiment all the same.

“Thanks." She murmured, before taking another gulp of the scalding beverage. Hunching forward, Adeline turned towards Edward and gestured towards the theatre just few feet away. “You reckon our man of the woods will make it out alive?”

Edward merely met her with a side glance before producing his phone from his backpocket. “So… according to Alice, Mr Smith will be up and about, hiking those trails again in a year or so-”

“Reckless.”

“And he’ll continue with coming second runner up for some cross country running competition in a few years time.”

“Interesting predictions.”

Edward simply shrugged and settled himself back onto his chair. An awkward silence ensued, with Adeline sipping on her bitter coffee, and Edward scrolling mindlessly through his phone. Until the man cleared his throat to draw Adeline’s attention.

“What?"

“You know, I wasn’t talking about his injuries.”

“Ok?”

“You saved the man from Jasper, you saved Jasper from himself.”

Adeline froze up at the mention of Jasper’s name, trying her hardest to act nonchalant. The fact was, she hadn't let her thoughts stray back to him. The injured man had been a welcomed distraction. She didn't want to process just what had transpired in the woods. Her heart wasn't ready for it; her heart was probably never ready for it. “Anyone would’ve done that.”

Edward was still studying her, goddamnit was he reading her mind again?!

“But not anyone would’ve succeeded.”

“What are you implying?” Her grip on the feeble plastic cup tightened, and the remainder of the coffee sloshed dangerously within its confines.

“Careful, you don’t want to spill it.” Handing her a piece tissue towel seemingly out of nowhere. He continued calmly as if they were merely discussing the weather. “I’m not insinuating anything, if you’re wondering.” He seemed to had more to add but shook his head in the last minute. “Though I’m curious, why did you do it?”

Adeline struggled to formulate a suitable answer.

“Hey there kids. I see you’ve been having some rest.” And there Carlisle was, walking towards the duo dressed in scrubs, fresh out of OT.

Saved by the bell.

“How’s the man?” Adeline shot up from her perch on the plastic chair.

“We just went through a laparotomy, he has three fractured ribs on his left and two over his right; lacerated his spleen and punctured his lungs. So we had to remove his spleen; now the orthopaedics are repairing his fracture, but from what I gather, he might just come out of this alright.”

“Oh thank God.”

Carlisle smiled gently down at her, like a father proud of his daughter’s achievements.

“You were fantastic out there, your scope of knowledge was-”

“I had some training done before.” Adeline shuffled and smiled awkwardly. She was not used to compliments, that and maintaining appearances and friends and small talks. She had been alone for far too long to remember how to act in these circumstances. No doubt picking up on her unwillingness to delve into her past, Carlisle merely smiled in his usual gentle way and pressed no further.

“I see. Well, why don’t you run along and go home shower. There’s blood on your shirt. I don’t think its salvageable but you certainly can do with some rest.”

“Oh, it’s alright. Mr Moody here bought me coffee here so I’ll be fine-”

Adeline gestured at the plastic cup in her hand, only for Edward to drop another bombshell the next minute.

“Jasper said he’ll be here in 5, he can pick Adeline up and drive her home.”

“What?!”

“Come on, let’s get you out to the parking lot. Say bye to Carlisle now.”

Clutching her by the shoulder with a firm grip, he carefully steered her down the hospital corridor after saying their byes.

“I liked you better when you talked less.” Adeline muttered, shooting Edward a glare.

“Well, I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“Why are you suddenly being so nice to me now? I thought you hated my guts?”

“I still do.” The man admitted without so much as a blink. “But I’ve seen the way you calmed him down and I know that means something.”

“Do you?” Adeline raised an eyebrow quizzically.

“Not even Alice could’ve done it.”

“...Alice?”

“It’s… What my point is for all the time I’ve known Jasper, we’ve never once been able to calm him down like that. You’re different.”

“Really I don’t see how this has anything-”

“He still loves you. After all these years.”

Adeline stopped in her tracks.

“And I’m willing to bet my money on where your heart lies-”

“You don’t know me!”

Edward turned calmly towards her frozen form.

“Don’t I? Don’t lie to yourself Adeline Ruelle.”

“Oh don’t go holier than thou on me, Edward Cullen” Closing the distance between them, an accusing finger pointed at him, Adeline seethed through clenched teeth. “You’re a bloody eavesdropper, that’s what you are.”

“That may be so. But then why did you stop him? There in the clearing.”

Backed into a corner, figuratively, Adeline could only put on a brave face and glared.

“You had every chance to run but you chose to save him. Ask yourself this, don’t lie to yourself for once, why?”

Locked in an impasse, neither spoke. Edward pinned her in her place with his scrutinising gaze, waiting for an answer Adeline refused to give. Sensing her resolve, he finally sighed and looked away. “In all honesty. I’m glad you were there. If you hadn’t stopped him, it would’ve been disastrous.”

When she continued to stay mum, Edward continued on with his one-sided conversation.

“I can’t help it if your thoughts keeps screaming into mine, or Jasper’s. And I don’t want to get involved into your lovers’ spat, so for the sake of my sanity, will the two of you please talk it out already?”

Adeline had to laugh at that.

“So what is this? Is this some sort of permission you’re giving me now? Please just kiss and makeup with my brother already!”

“That’s not what I’m saying, you know you have a way of twisting everyone’s words when you need to, it’s like you’re doing your best to piss off the entire world.”

“I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“Look, I told Jasper this once and I’ll say it again.” Edward gave another sigh and pressed his palm against his forehead. “Every relationship requires the participation of both parties. A soulmate bond doesn't automatically mean endgame. At the end of the day, it's just a bond. It ties the two of you together in this life, but if you don’t reciprocate it, there’s nothing he can do either.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She hated how her laugh felt so forced, so shrill. And Edward, he only looked her in the eye and pushed her out through the automatic doors. She thought she saw a hint of newfound tenderness in his topaz eyes.

“Then you’re an even bigger fool than I thought you were.”

She didn’t really hate him she guess.

“Do what's right Adeline, don’t make it become a bigger regret than it already is."

She was going to protest again, but she saw the Tesla rolling in the lot, and all her protests died in her throat and she swallowed harshly. She had half a mind to just turn around and run back to Edward and beg him to just hide her or something but all the man did was smirk before stepping back into the hospital lobby.

“Well thanks for joining my ted talk Adeline Ruelle, now go catch your ride home and talk.”

“The land is barren.” Adeline muttered, her body rocking to and fro with the movement of the wagon, her eyes were trained into the far distance, squinting in the broiling sun.

“You’re being over dramatic.” Henriette’s tone was dry, her hands on the reins, spurring the horses to continue its trot.

“I hate it here already.” Adeline announced, crossing her arms in a huff. “Why couldn’t we have gone somewhere else? Somewhere with more greenery than this? There’s still plenty of places to hide in Louisiana-”

“Staying in the same place over and over will attract attention and you know it.” Henriette was losing her patience too, turning her head sharply to glare at her sister. “Your father will find us if we keep staying in the same place.” The lines on her face and around her eyes deepening, the ever growing frown settling over her wrinkled forehead.

“…We left Ralph in Orleans. All alone.” Adeline bowed her head in grief, hiding her face behind her hair and avoiding those piercing eyes of her sisters. “Six feet under and his body wasn’t even cold when we left.”

Her sister sighed again, though this time it betrayed a tenderness and affection that she only displayed towards her loved ones, freeing one hand to gently comb back Adeline’s soft tresses.

“Silly girl. How many times do I have to tell you? Ralph hasn’t gone anywhere, he’s always with you and me. Always.”

“He’s dead, that’s what he is.”

Henriette continued rubbing her shoulder’s soothingly, as if she were comforting a child. “But he’ll always be in our hearts, and that’s what matters.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Come Addie, let’s not fight.” The older woman smiled lightly, turning the younger girl’s head towards her for closer inspection. There were bags under her eyes and an unnatural pallor, a sullenness swirling behind. Even her usual bright eyes were dulled. “I hate it when you’re angry or sad.”

The younger girl shook her head and curled around the older ones side, much like a feline would.

“I still hate it here. Everything’s so dry and barren and ugly. I’m only putting up with it because of you.”

“What will you do when I’m gone?” Henriette sighed.

“Then I’ll just have to die and pursue you."

“Silly girl.” The elder smiled at the other indulgently, yet her eyes betrayed a melancholy she failed to hide. “You don’t mean that.”

He saw them long before they arrived.

Initially a speck in the distance, and then gradually enlarging until he could see their wagon gradually pulling into town along the dusty highway.

In truth, Jasper had noticed the old lady at the front first; her face hard and etched into a permanent frown, doing nothing to dispel the presence of her wrinkles and only succeeding in making more pronounced than ever. He would have turned away back to his field then had he not caught sight of her in the setting sun, the last of the sun rays reflecting a pale face.

She had a simple shawl wrapped around her head, protecting her from the dust. But it did nothing to hide the beauty she possessed, there was an ethereal feel to it; a otherworldliness. There was also a melancholy to the girl; with her head bowed, eyes downcast, looking so dejected. It captured his attention, struck a chord in his heart, and later he would stop to think about her, in his work, during mealtime, before he went to bed, in his walk.

His eyes followed their receding figure unconsciously as they made their way into town.

He did not know her name yet.

But she had unknowingly sent a ripple in the pool of his heart

Except he did not know of any of this yet.

It was another sleepless night.

Adeline clutched at the tattered copy of To The Lighthouse she had found fallen behind the shelf in the library and staggered downstairs.

Sleep had evaded her yet again. When was the last time she had had a good night’s rest? Or perhaps it was herself who was avoiding it altogether. Whichever it was, she barely slept a wink in the past week. she could almost feel the rush of agitation in her nerves now, the lethargy in her frame, the shortness of her temper.

She needed to get out.

This was a paradise for vampires she supposed. A secretive hideout for the Cullens, no one bothered them here. The town was too enamoured by the dazzling family, the town’s police chief was Bella’s dad and the only visitors they ever had were the wolves from the nearby indigenous tribe. And anyways there was ever only one person who came most of the time.

But it still unnerved her. The jitteriness she experienced in Colorado never fully left her. And she was still startled by the smallest things, the tiniest sounds.

It was the house. She finally concluded. It was Jasper.

She couldn’t rest with Jasper around. No she couldn’t.

Pocketing the few cigarettes she still had remaining into her worn satchel, Adeline grabbed the giant coffee flask she had prepared and stalked out of the house into the dreary morning of Forks in only a thin parka and boots.

As she stalked down the clearing at the back of the house, she felt a shiver down her spine and a feeling of being watched. Turning back she just made out a silhouette at the upper left window.

She didn’t need to squint to know who it was.

She flipped the bird at him before turning around to leave in a huff.

Jasper saw her multiple times in town over the next few days. The two had settled down into one of the cottages his parents had owned bordering their own farming fields; he had yet to formally acquaint with his new neighbours. But it would seem that the arrival of the girl had already sent the town into frenzy.

For one, her dress making skill was excellent. Her embroidery so fine and so meticulous that all the ladies of the town were soon sending in requests, until she had to put them on hold until she could finish the earlier ones first.

Two, she was soon the gossip of the entire town. She’d already had seven proposals in the course of a week, all of which she had rejected without even a side eye. Men were in awe of her beauty and wondered aloud at her ever downcast eyes and the enigma that she was. For the women in town though, she was the subject they loved to hate, for monopolising the attention of the other half of the town. Jealously was an ugly sentiment and hostility an ever isolating one. And the girl soon found herself alone and alienated without a single soul to call as friend.

Soon they had a third topic to discuss on.

She was seen trying to storm the local bookshop for new reading materials, but on seeing her, the store owner had kindly redirected her back to her ladies’ weekly digest.

“You don’t make any sense! Why am I not allowed to read?! It’s only a novel!"

“Child, novels are hardly a suitable reading material for a lady. It promotes unrealistic fancies in young minds like yours.”

“That’s a condescending observation sir.”

“Who do you say you live with again?”

“My grandmama.”

“Well young lady, I suggest you have a word with you grandmother then.”

“Wait!”

The man slammed his door in her face.

And no matter how hard she pounced on the wooden door, the shopkeeper refused to open the door again to the girl.

“Darling, sweetheart.” A pair of well-meaning elderly ladies stopped in their tracks to regard the girl. “Don’t be mad at the man, he’s only trying to do you good. What kind of gentleman of good status would want a woman with her head stuck in a book? It’ll only spur you on into fantasies after fantasies; no man would want a wife who would neglect the family. What would you possibly do then?”

Her lips pursed now and Jasper could see how upset she was with the way her shoulders were hunched and her teeth biting into her lips so hard it drew blood but somehow her eyes shone with a fierce defiance he had never seen.

“A man who loves me would not ask me to give up any of that.”

She let slipped this one sentence before turning to leave with her head held high.

“What a peculiar young girl.” The lady turned to her equally surprised friend and wondered aloud.

The crowd dispersed to return to their day and errands.

Only Jasper was rooted where he was, his mind replaying the conversation the girl and the lady had, the silent dignity, the crackling flame inside her.

He looked to the bookshop again.

Adeline always thought that their relationship now was like a predator to its prey; Jasper always on the outlook, ready to pounce anytime she showed the slightest weakness. But when she did look closely, it wasn’t difficult to find him shuffling awkwardly in the corner when they were in the same room, looking at her with unveiled longing and then the predator would turn into a wounded puppy.

Adeline wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the entire situation. That he should feel hurt and yet still longed for her, instead of choosing to hate her for all she had done. It was beyond her comprehension. If their fortunes had reversed, she couldn’t say for certain if she would feel the same.

She wondered if he ever thought of the past, their past together. Because she was convinced that he viewed it through a rose tinted lens

Adeline lighted a cigarette and puffed thoughtfully. What she had read at the break of dawn still fresh on her mind.

“There it was before her - life. Life: she thought but she did not finish her thought. She took a look at life, for she had a clear sense of it there, something real, something private, which she shared neither with her children nor with her husband. A sort of transaction went on between them, in which she was on one side, and life was on another, and she was always trying to get the better of it, as it was of her; and sometimes they parleyed (when she sat alone); there were, she remembered, great reconciliation scenes; but for the most part, oddly enough, she must admit that she felt this thing that she called life terrible, hostile, and quick to pounce on you if you gave it a chance.”

She must admit, Woolf’s writings always did have a knack of making one feel and think differently; to approach life, time and memory in a new light; to reflect. The lighthouse, was the never changing vantage point in the passage of time, the ever eluding desire that one chased after but never could quite grasp; ten years was a very long time in a life span, people change, for better or for worse; people die, and all was left was a memory frozen in time. And even that fades, lost in time and space. Nothing was everlasting, no mark or testimony survives the void.

Not even love.

The brutality of life and reality had made sure that it did not.

She briefly considered her own life.

The innocent child Henriette had protected at all cost when she was alive, who was immediately killed by her father after Hettie’s death, gutted and left to her own demise in some dirty gutter. And in her place, all that was left was this new emotionally dead and drained Adeline. Haunted by her own past, her deeds and her misfortunes, completely broken and never quite pieced back together right.

Adeline had taken the gamble with life and lost miserably.

The fog was getting thicker now, the wind lost somewhere in the thicket. The spring air was stagnant, and the soft tendrils of smoke curled around her hair, her frame. For a moment, she stopped in her tracks, just to take in this present moment that would soon morph into another forgotten memory of hers.

He found her at the far end of his parents’ field, looking out into distance, sniffing.

“Hey are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” She sniffed again no doubt surprised that someone had crept on her, scrubbing at her face furiously. “Never better.” Before turning around to scrutinise him.

“Who are you?”

“I don’t think we’ve formally met ma’am, I’m Jasper Whitlock.”

“You’re Mr and Mrs Whitlock’s second son.” The girl gasped, before ducking her head formally and shaking his hand. “I’m Adeline, Adeline Ruelle. Your mother’s told me about you.” She looked around again before smiling awkwardly and gesturing to the fields. “I’m trespassing. This is your land. I’ll go-”

“No, no. It’s uh… it’s alright. I don’t mind, Miss Ruelle.”

“But still. I shouldn’t be disturbing the lot of you.”

“Wait. Uh I… I couldn’t help but saw what happened in the town square.”

“Oh.” She frowned before looking down, clearly getting the wrong idea. He wasn’t there to reprimand her too. “It’s alright, I won’t-”

“No wait, I don’t mean it that way. Here.” He quickly thrusted the bundle he had been hiding behind his back this whole time.

Confused, Adeline clutched at the bundle, feeling the hard texture of the package before looking up to stare at him agape. Her hand quickly dove in to tear at the wrapping paper to reveal a hardback book.

“Frankenstein?” She held the book up questioningly. “Why are you giving me this?”

“You wanted this right? Or was it not this? I could take it back and change it if you want-”

“No, no. This was what I was looking for. But why are you giving me this?”

“Because you wanted it.” He stated as a matter of fact. When his answer didn’t dispel the confused look on Adeline’s face, Jasper struggled to explain himself more. “I don’t think they were right in refusing to let you read just because they think it’s not suitable for a lady. Anyone should be allowed to pursue their own knowledge…”

“This isn’t really the most educating thing you know.” For the first time, there was a playful smirk on her lips. “It’s a novel on a man making a monster.”

“You know what I mean.”

Evidently she was grateful. “I- how can I ever thank you for this? How much does this cost? I’ll pay you back the money… I’ll pay you double for all your trouble-”

“No, no it’s fine. Please don’t pay me. I wanted to help. You looked so sad and I just wanted to cheer you up is all.”

“Wait, where are you going, Mr Whitlock sir?! Wait.”

In his mind he had embarrassed himself. It was a stupid move buying her the book. Now she would think him worse than all her other suitors. He had intruded into her privacy and had condescended her by deciding that she would want the book. He had never lost his cool once before, not in front of the girls who had flirted with him, and this new girl had come along and thrown him off his balance.

He didn’t realise till then that his heart was beating erratically and his hand clenched over it unconsciously.

What a stupid stupid man that he was.

“Adeline.”

She was momentarily shocked from her thoughts. Looking up, she found that she had come across the Cullens. There was Alice with the little family.

Alice looked concerned, no doubt surprised by her haggard look and her sleep deprived countenance. Even Bella and Edward looked alerted too. Despite being eccentric, Alice was, Adeline concluded, actually quite a nice person, overly friendly maybe.

“You look tired, are you alright?”

“I’m alright.” She shrugged nonchalantly. Even though the exhaustion was catching up on her fast.

Alice hesitated before smiling. “We’re going to hunt. Do you want to join us?”

Ah, so they were going to hunt. She remembered her surprise when for the first time she had heard that they were vegetarians and that they only fed on animals. Henriette had half forced half bullied her to adopt this kind of diet since she was born, yet she had never seen another doing the same before.

But she didn’t like to hunt in the presence of another, it made her self conscious. And anyways, she was trying her best to steer away from the company of the family.

“It’s alright.” She remained aloof. “I’ll hunt on my way.”

“Will we expect you by dinnertime?” Bella spoke up at the back, Adeline could literally see the trying in her effort to be nice. She quickly looked to Edward who’s face remained neutral.

“Hmph. I’ll be back.” She nodded her head at the latter.

Their paths diverging, the rest of the clan soon took their leave of her. And Adeline looked on at their receding back from her spot.

They would all soon be a distant memory of hers, there was no need to be formally acquainted with any of them.

‘With her foot on the threshold she waited a moment longer in a scene which was vanishing even as she looked, and then, as she moved and took Minta's arm and left the room, it changed, it shaped itself differently; it had become, she knew, giving one last look at it over her shoulder, already the past.’

This time she was waiting for him.

The moment she caught sight of him strolling towards the perimeter of his fields after supper, Adeline immediately jogged towards him, a large basket in tow.

“I’ve been looking all over for you, Mr Whitlock.” She chirped, an unusually bright smile graced over her porcelain features, a stark contrast to the melancholy he saw on her first day in town.

He decided that he loved seeing her smile more than anything right then.

“Jasper is fine ma’am.” He ducked his head bashfully. “Mr Whitlock’s my dad if you will, everyone around here just calls me Jasper, Miss Ruelle.”

“Fine. But then you must call me Adeline. It’s only fair.”

“Miss Adeline.” He bowed half out of jest.

“Adeline.” She corrected him, though there was a twinkle in her eyes. “So where’re you headed to?”

“I’m just heading to the creek down below to rest for a bit, it’s been a long day.”

Adeline nodded in understanding and he was somewhat amused to find the girl trotting behind him. Chuckling, Jasper swooped in to take a grasp at the handle of the basket and carried it. When they finally settled at a shady spot near the creek, Adeline leaned forward to open the latch of the basket.

“I wanted to thank you,” she began, pulling out a batch of baked cookies. “For the book.”

“Its nothing-”

“No! It wasn’t just anything! I…” He watched as she frowned and look away, debilitating with herself, trying to find the right words to express herself.

“No one’s ever done this for me… ever.” She finally murmured, her hands playing at her aprons absentmindedly. “So… yeah.” She pulled at her ear sheepishly. “Sorry, I’m sure you’re not interested in my ramblings. I should go… it’s your rest time.”

“It’s alright. I don’t mind.”

They sat in mutual silence, though there was less initial awkwardness.

“Do you-”

“So I-”

They started at the same time. Sheepish, Jasper gestured for Adeline to continue speaking. She smiled another of her easy smile.

“What I wanted to say was that you really don’t know how much it means for me… for you to get that book for me. My grandfather taught me how to read and write. And between the both of us, this was our most favourite book of all time. But his copy was destroyed in the floods some years ago so when he died… I wanted something to remember him by. That’s why I desperately wanted it at the bookshop.” She grew sentimental then. “Of course it’s not the same copy we used to have, but it’s the sentiment of it that’s the most important.”

“Then I’m glad I got it for you.” And he meant it from the bottom of his heart.

“Here.” She handed him a cookie, “you still haven’t tried it yet.”

Tentatively, he took a bite out of it. “It’s delicious!"

Adeline grinned, evidently proud. “Of course. And they said no decent southern gentleman would want me. You’ve just proven them wrong!”

Jasper laughed. “Well you’ve certainly stolen my stomach away with that amazing bakery.”

Adeline reclined onto her elbows in her spot and squinted in the dazzling sun. “You know it’s not half as bad here as I initially thought.”

“Must be because of my company.” He spoke jokingly.

“Hmm. Maybe." Jasper found himself observing Adeline’s every move. Now she was closing her eyes, basking in the glory of the setting sun, humming to herself. The warm ray of light accentuating her long neck and her collarbones and-

She turned suddenly, her excited eyes on him.

“Have you ever read Frankenstein?”

She knew she was getting closer and closer towards the sea, despite the fog being thick and hanging over the threshold. She just knew.

There was the faint crashing of waves now, getting louder by the minute. And the brambles of the forest floor was spreading out.

Now all she needed to do was-

And she stepped out into the sunlight. Despite the sun, it was not the Texan sun she remembered from her memories, it barely gave her warmth. But it did dispel some of the mist that clung around her like tendrils. Here was a cliff of some sort, with the sea roaring right below her feet, the moss and the wildflowers carpeting the entire forest ground until it ended abruptly at the ledge, to a steep drop of some fifty or even sixty feet.

It was indeed beautiful.

Adeline watched mesmerised, how the waves licked the cliff side, thundering, throwing up white foam and algae and whatnots.

Sighing, she leaned back against a tree trunk. The sky was grey and endless in the horizon. It was dreary, and she felt that it suited her more than the Texan sun and blue sky ever did.

She readjusted her sitting position against the tree and took out her book.

James and Cam and Mr Ramsey were heading to the lighthouse now and Lily Briscoe was finishing off her painting ten years later.

‘“It will rain,” he remembered his father saying. “You won’t be able to go to the Lighthouse.”

The Lighthouse was then a silvery, misty-looking tower with a yellow eye, that opened suddenly, and softly in the evening. Now—

James looked at the Lighthouse. He could see the white-washed rocks; the tower, stark and straight; he could see that it was barred with black and white; he could see windows in it; he could even see washing spread on the rocks to dry. So that was the Lighthouse, was it?

No, the other was also the Lighthouse. For nothing was simply one thing. The other Lighthouse was true too. It was sometimes hardly to be seen across the bay. In the evening one looked up and saw the eye opening and shutting and the light seemed to reach them in that airy sunny garden where they sat.’

She closed the book with a sigh.

To be fair, she knew that Jasper thought about their past, just as she did. Except, they each remembered things and events differently. Or maybe it was just that for her, with the knowledge of hindsight, everything was brought into a new light and became tainted.

Could she look back with pure joy now? At her days with him which was now, in hindsight, filled with regret and more importantly, guilt.

There was some truth in it she supposed.

Perhaps there were more facets in their memory than she would give credit for. There was the truth, and then there were all the different angles you could appraise it from. Both were looking at the lighthouse, but he no doubt looked on with fondness and through a rose tinted lens, and she with hindsight could only look on with a sense of dread.

She only wished that he would not be so enamoured by his sentiments that he was blindsided by the truth.

With that thought, her mood soured again and she threw the book into the ground. Subconsciously, her hand went to the locket hidden beneath her shirt where she fingered the engravings to calm herself.

Adeline closed her eyes and listened to the sea.

After that fateful afternoon, Adeline was showing up at the fields every few days. And the creek immediately became their mutual meeting point. And on days when she was too busy with her work to venture out, Jasper would swing by, just to see her, have a chat. They lived close enough, and he was always giving excuses after excuses about why he was there. Excuses he thought she saw through with that complicit smile and the twinkle always present in her eyes. Her grandmother was less impressed however, but she never treated him ill, always being ever cordial, receiving him, making tea, working in the corner, muttering to herself in French.

The days blurred into one, and towards the end of that summer, his parents invited the Adeline and her grandmother over for dinner one fine evening. His mother took an immediate liking towards the girl, and his father called her the daughter he always wanted.

It made Jasper feel giddy, that his family loved her so much. He was almost proud.

It would be the best summer he ever had.

They had read Milton, the Odysseus, the Aeneid, Austen, Dickens, and many more.

He was always surprised to see Adeline brimming with so much knowledge at such a young age. He had wondered at the background of her grandfather, but she always deflected the questions with a wistful smile then he learnt not to ask them anymore.

It was perhaps cliche to say, but she really was not like other girls. Adeline was open, she was kind and sincere and more importantly she was the sun herself, a burning beacon, radiating with warmth. One look at her and he found the day’s worth of handwork and fatigue to be nothing.

Jasper knew the implication of his thundering heart. Romance was not something new to him, he’d heard it from fieldworkers, men who were only a few years older than him.

But he had his doubts too.

He saw how the men tried to talk to her, and though she never mentioned it once to him, he heard enough to know about all the confessions and declarations and proposals she received on a regular basis. Her refusals did nothing to quell his disheartened heart. Her suitors ranged from various backgrounds including pretty boys with wealthy backgrounds and ancestors who were founding members of this town even.

What was he? Nothing but a simple farmer boy. How was he to compete with then?

Every time he heard of another refusal, his hope would get a little higher, that perhaps her smiles and her openness were only directed at him. Yet one look at himself and his meagre possessions, and he would lose what little confidence he had.

Even so, even so she never missed a day with him. Never forgot an engagement, never failed to show up.

That she would welcome him warmly each time, with her radiant smile and her gentle words, even if she would ramble on and on about her long and tiring day and her tedious work.

He was failing miserably to quell his beating heart. Some days It was pure agony, other days he would find himself hope against all hope that perhaps, just perhaps that she would reciprocate even a fraction of his feelings.

But his doubts held him back each time, when he was on the brink of a confession. He would be reminded of the string of failed proposals that came before his and he would become afraid and stopped himself short.

Was it better to protect this friendship, this comradeship that they had?

But with each passing summer day, as he got ready for harvest, his heart was becoming more and more heavy.

It was too much.

He didn’t think he could go on like this.

The ravens cawed and she awoke with a start. Standing up immediately, she was dazed to find that she was not in her simple attire of boots and parka anymore. Gone was the sea and the grey horizon; the pines surrounding her were tall and ominous, a light mist was beginning to form around her, obscuring her sight further on. She was in her Sunday best again, the cream coloured dress with those understated embroideries she had seen herself. There was the chain of daisies at the hem of her sleeves and around her collar. She looked around, trying to comprehend her surrounding.

So she was in a dream then.

A nightmare perhaps.

Might as well walk to the very end of it so that she could wake. Though she loathed to think how it would end, hopefully not with her screaming bloody murder again.

Trudging onwards, the claustrophobia was getting more and more intense, the fog thickening and the trees crowding more and more together until there was no distinguishable path that she could follow. She felt suffocated.

Just then, there was a chill around her heart and it began to thump fiercely. Turning her head cautiously towards her back, she was instantly struck by an intense fear.

Run, her instinct was screaming in her ears.

She ran like the frightened bunny that she was. She could hear the laughters of her sisters, and worse of all. The shoutings of her father.

There seemed to be no end. The brambles tore at her dress, tearing the embroideries, the mud splattering all over her apron, the loose branches leaving small open cuts over her hands and face. The laughters behind her never ceased. She was bone chilled and yet she daren’t stop in her tracks. For fear of being caught, for fear of a punishment worse than death.

And just when all hope was lost, there in the distance was an opening!

And out she ran into a field of wheat and barley. Shocked, she looked back cautiously at the edge of the forest she had just dashed through.

The eeriness had gone and it was only just a stretch of low woodland and shrubberies. Her nightmarish forest was gone.

Cocking her head to the side in confusion, Adeline nevertheless continued to trudge on and at the end of the wheat field, a warm inviting cottage stood in its midst.

The smoke gently curled around the chimney, the vines over the walls, the blue cornflowers at the windows.

It was painfully the same as she had remembered.

She quietly opened the latch to the door and stepped inside the threshold.

“You’re back.” As her eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room, she saw a man in a simple cotton white shirt and dark pants gently settling the white bundle in his arms into a crib. “How was your walk? Refreshing?”

“Yes…” Adeline stuttered. “Jasper?"

“Yes darling?” The man turned with a tender smile towards her, arms opening wide to welcome her. This time she did not hesitate and rushed towards his strong inviting embrace. Breathing in the strong familiar scent, feeling the warmth he radiated. All the while avoiding glancing at the crib she had seen.

“I’m tired.” She murmured. “Take me to bed?” She pleaded.

Jasper only chuckled.

As they finally settled in bed, his calloused hands, overused at the farm, began its motion of combing through her hair slowly, soothingly just like he did all the time when the two were in bed. Adeline closed her eyes and sighed. She didn’t want to wake up from this and back to the icy cold acquaintance that they now shared.

“I had the strangest dream.” She murmured to him, burrowing deeper into his embrace, her ear rested on his chest, and she could hear the strong beating of his beating heart. “I dreamt that I left you. And that it destroyed you so badly that you became something I couldn’t even recognise anymore. And then I hated you so much and you resented me so much for turning you into what you became.”

“Left me…” Jasper repeated to himself, his hand froze momentarily in its motion.

Adeline looked up in desperation. If this was a dream, at least she would keep him happy. This much she could do at the very least.

“It was only just a dream though.” She tried to smile, raising a hand to trace his strong jawline. “I could never leave you.”

He resumed his soothing motion, combing through her hair, massaging her scalp. She hummed and turned to listen to his beating heart again.

“No, because what would happen to us if you actually left?”

Ah… the bundle in the crib.

She imagined a young boy, with golden curls around his temple and warm inviting hazel eyes. Who would call her maman, who she would teach French to, and raise him and teach him well, just as she had done to her handful of brothers and sisters. It would’ve been domestic bliss. It would’ve been what she wanted if she had been human.

She was drifting in and out of consciousness again as she lingered in her impossible dreams.

The soothing motion over her scalp never ceased. In fact it became more and more concrete.

“Adeline…. Adeline…”

There was someone calling to her softly, far away, at the edge of her consciousness. And it was getting nearer and nearer.

Somehow she felt safe, warm and calm. A sense of serenity washed over her.

She was protected.

She felt a light peck over her lips.

A chaste little kiss.

She chastised without opening her eyes, though her lips were slowly pulling into a small smile.

“What are you playing at-” she mumbled in her sleep.

And then she descended into sweet oblivion.

They met in the fields as usual the sun casting its shadow towards the east, amongst the waving barley and the golden wheat. Adeline was chatting animatedly about the latest novel she had been reading.

He cleared his throat when she stopped to take a breath in between.

“I have something to tell you.”

Her brows shot up no doubt finally realising that she had been hogging the conversation table for the last half an hour or so, but she quickly composed herself and gave him a reassuring smile. “What is it? I’m all ears.”

“I’m joining the army.”

“What?”

“I’m joining the Texas cavalry.”

“Why?” She looked bewildered, and there was a frantic look in her eye. “Don’t you have enough to do in the farm? The harvests and the cattle’s and… everything! Have you talked this through with your parents?!”

“I have. They are in full support of it.”

“But why?” She pouted her lips cutely, but her voices sounded betrayed. “I enjoy our time with you here everyday, don’t you? If you join the army, you’ll be working and training everyday. I-” she stopped and looked away, embarrassed, scuffing the sole of her shoe over the ground petulantly.

He chuckled. How to make her understand? That he was doing this exactly because of her.

“Besides, you’re a landowner yourself. I know the land isn’t much, but it should be enough for you right?”

“Adeline.”

“So why would you suddenly decide you want to become a soldier?”

“Adeline.”

“I mean sure I know you’ll excel in it anyways. You’re going to charm you way up. Then you’ll forget little ol me.”

“Adeline.” Jasper finally had to smirk. "You never let people finish what they have to say.”

Adeline huffed in annoyance and crossed her arm. “Fine. By all means!”

What she didn’t expect next was for him to clasp her hand in his.

“You might think that a farmer is well respected enough, but I’m a second son. When my parents die, my brother will inherit the farm. I can help with the farm, but it will never be mine. I’ll never have an income as prosperous as my brother will if I continue to work for him. When I do marry and then someday have children of mine, would I want them to endure the same fate as I have?”

“But if you love her then surely-”

“Would I be able to have better marriage prospect as my brother does? The answer is no. I would never be able to do better than him, I would be at a disadvantage, less likely to get the girl of my dreams. No decent gentleman would marry their own precious daughter to a second son. That is, unless if I make a name for myself in some other way.”

“By joining the army?”

“It was either that or become a priest.”

“There are other ways surely! You can study to be a lawyer or… or a businessman or anything other than joining the army!”

“Don’t you find some of the younger soldiers charming and dashing? I overheard you chatting with-”

“I care about you too much to want to see you get hurt!”

There was a solemnity in her clear blue eyes that betrayed nothing but sincerity and concern. It left him feeling giddy, that gave him a confidence he had been lacking for sometime to carry out what he was about to do that he had psyched himself up to do for weeks now. He couldn’t help but grin.

But it irked her to new heights.

“Stop it, don’t laugh! It’s not a laughing matter!” Adeline pouted again, slapping him in the arm repeatedly, and this time there were angry tears threatening to fall from her beautiful orbs. “I worry about you! Even if you seem no have no care about your own safety!”

“Fine! Go! Go join the bloody army if you love it so much for some bloody girl you think you’ve fallen in love with! See if I care when you get killed off by some stupid I don’t know what!”

She turned around and by the slight tremor in her shoulder and the sniffing he realised with a newfound panic that she was crying. This wasn’t what he had intended to do.

“Adeline.” He soothed, coaxing the girl to turn around to face him. “Are you crying?”

“No I’m not.”

“Hush, then turn around see that I can see you properly.”

When she did turn, he could still see the devastation over her face. The tear trails over the apples of her cheek, those eyes brimmed with unshed tears. But she stared back with great defiance, her chin held haughtily up. He has to suppress a tender sigh, his heart was so heavy with love for this girl, the little treacherous thing thumping against his chest so loudly he was sure she would’ve heard it.

“Adeline, you must know how important this is for me."

She looked away then and feigned boredom. “Why are you telling me this Mr Whitlock? You’re wasting your time on me. Shouldn’t you be looking for your bloody lover to her about this.”

“I really should shouldn’t I? But I need your help and advice.” He studied her closely as she bit her lips so hard it almost drew blood, as she raised a hand to finger her earring in an effort to calm her nerves mo doubt. He slowly reached out a hand to hold her chin and turn her pretty face back to his before delivering the final blow.

“But suppose I’m looking at her already right now as I speak?”

“Looking at her…?”

“Won’t you tell me how do I stop her tears and make her understand that I’m joining the army so that I can have a future with her? So that I can stand on my own and go to her grandmother to ask for permission to court her and marry her?”

He saw the moment the realisation hit her, Adeline’s mouth dropped as she stared mutely at him.

“You… I… I don’t think I understand what you-”

“I’m telling you that I love you Adeline. And I want to marry you.”

He stopped abruptly then to take a deep breath, his heart beating ferociously now, the rush in his ears was almost deafening, he was too fearful of what she would say.

But when her looked into her eyes, there was a newfound vulnerability, one he had never seen before. She wet her trembling lips.

“This isn’t a joke you’re pulling on me is this?”

“I would never joke about this.” He said with resolute.

Bashful, she looked down and sucked at her lips. And if he had looked closely, he would have seen how her cheeks were tinted red, not by the summer heat or the burning sin.

“No one has ever said that to me.” Her eyes were brimming with tears again though her lips were slowly, but surely drawing up into a smile. “I think… I love you too Jasper Whitlock.”

And that was the straw for him.

He stepped forward to close the gap between them, long arms stretching out to hold her tightly. Her arms slowly wound themselves around his neck, their face inches apart, looking straight into each other’s eyes.

“Don’t you think we’re a little too close for propriety’s sake, Mr Whitlock?” The corner of her lips tugging up playfully.

“Hush”. He thought his heart was going to burst. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

And under the setting Texan sun, amongst a golden burning world, they shared their first ever kiss, two hearts beating as one.

The thick clouds above were for once finally dispersing and the radiant sunbeams filtered in between, producing a luminous effect as it struck his skin.

The motion in his hand never ceasing, gently combing through Adeline’s hair as she herself laid on his chest, breathing in and out calmly. Without the hostility and the jitteriness, Jasper was almost fooled into believing that this Adeline was the same Adeline from his past.

But she was not.

Jasper sighed again, his heart so full of emotions it was painful.

He had wandered out after she left the house and subconsciously, or perhaps guided by a vengeful angel, he had stumbled across her, in the midst of a nightmare, curling into herself, whimpering. He acted on his natural instincts to soothe away the frown, and it mystified him that the moment he laid his hand on her head did the whimpering stopped. He couldn’t resist stealing a light kiss from those plump lips.

Looking down at Adeline’s serene sleeping face, Jasper wished he didn’t have to hide himself like this, that he could’ve held her when she was awake, her radiant smile guided towards him and himself only. Not like this, not when she wouldn’t even know that it was him who had comforted her and held her in her sleep, had warded away her nightmares, even if just for a few moments only.

Oh but he couldn’t let her know.

Every small movement now would send him into caution, to extricate himself from her before she woke, lest she would run away, lest he would startle her, deepen this gulf between them.

He surveyed their immediate surrounding, there was Adeline’s cassette player, the tiny thing’s battery had long since stopped running. He made a remark to ask her about the mixtape she had been listening to. The emptied coffee flask, the burnt cigarette butts. And there lying open with its cover up, its spine breaking right in the middle, was Rosalie’s old battered copy of To the Lighthouse. He remembered watching her going all out just to hide it behind the shelf.

It’s too painful. She had finally confessed one rainy day. But I can’t bear to throw it away. It’s like a mirror you hold up to juxtapose it with your own life.

He never read it, not in depth anyways.

He reached out to grab it and randomly flipped through it, scanning the words as he did so.

‘To want and not to have, sent all up her body a hardness, a hollowness, a strain. And then to want and not to have- to want and want- how that wrung the heart, and wrung it again and again!’

When they returned to the house, the others were still where they had left them. Everyone seemed to heave a relieved sigh when they saw that their heads and limbs were still one with their torsos. As if they were going to tear each other apart.

But of course there were far more ways to be hurt than being physically mauled to pieces. Jasper though humourlessly to himself.

“Adeline will be staying with us for a little while.” He announced nonchalantly.

The others only remained mute, gawking at the pair, as if they could not believe their ears for what they had just heard.

Adeline immediately gave a smile so bright it was practically irritating. “Threatened into submission, yes. And no, I won’t be of any trouble. I’ll be out of your hair in no time.”

Jasper shot her a wary look. What was she playing at now?

But the more he disapproved the more enthusiastic she appeared.

Esme and Carlisle were the first to recover from their shock.

“Oh you’ll be of no trouble to us at all, dear.” Esme had quickly warmed up to the girl. “Any friend of Jasper’s are a friend of ours.” She gestured for the girl to follow her into the house. “Come we’ll find you a room and some fresh clothes for you.”

“I’ll have whichever room that is the farthest from Jasper’s if you will, Mrs Cullen.” Her extra loud response was heard by everyone in the household.

It was apparent that she would not be civil with him and was going to make this month an absolute nightmare for him, to put his patience to his test. But for all the spite and pettiness, for a second he thought he saw a glimpse of the playful girl he had known all those years ago. And it thrusted him into a weird headspace. It was an exhilaration mixed with a crushing nervousness, the more she taunted him, the more his anticipation grew.

She was issuing her own challenge towards him.

He had to fight off a growing smile.

The others however seemed to take pity of the predicament he was in. Edward only shook his head at him, as if he had just grown another head on his shoulder, no doubt in disapproval of the pair; while Bella grinned, amused by the entire situation, probably reminded of her first encounter with the family herself. Rosalie’s distaste was evident on her face, taking an instant dislike towards Adeline. Clicking her tongue in annoyance, she was the first to voice her irritation.

“What do you think you’re doing Jasper?” She hissed. “You’re inviting a stranger into our house. A hybrid no less! What will the Volturi do if they get wind of this?”

“Oh come now Rose, must we go through this every single time?” Jasper rubbed his temple and sighed.

“What?” She retorted.

“Your aversion to strangers.”

“I do not have an aversion to strangers!” Rosalie stomped her foot in petulance.

Emmett immediately wrapped a comforting arm around the other. “C’mon babe, it’ll be fun. I mean it’s not everyday you get to see Jasper losing his cool.”

“I didn’t, Emmett.”

“You totally did man! You ran out just to chase after the girl, I mean c’mon Jas- Ow! What was that for?!”

“My hand must’ve slipped.” Jasper kept his face cool, even if he did just whacked Emmett in the head.”

“Children.” Carlisle admonished softly. “Be nice, she’s still our guest and she can hear the lot of you.”

The crowd finally broke off to return to their respective engagements. All through their banter/ discussion Alice had remained silent, and when the conversation ended she immediately ducked out of the room, with Rosalie and Emmett following close behind.

“Renesmee will be ecstatic to known that her friend’s back.” Jasper heard Bella murmur to Edward as they both headed towards their cottage.

“Bella, she doesn’t even know her like that.” For afar, he could still hear the wariness in Edward’s voice. Jasper made a mental note to ask Edward about it later.

Only Carlisle lingered. He could sense the concern from the other man and he turned back again to acknowledge it.

“Something on your mind Carlisle?”

“Are you sure about this Jasper?”

Always with the straightforwardness, he mused to himself. “You mean the bond?”

“No, I mean this. This arrangement.” Carlisle gestured to the girl somewhere in the house. “Are you sure this is what you want? For her to be here?”

“Yes.” He answered in a heartbeat. He needed answers and he needed to know, just how changed she had become. And he can’t imagine any way, other than the bet, to trap her here for the moment, for awhile at least. For them to be forced to be reacquainted with each other. If he did not act then, there was no other way for him to stop her leaving. She was a free individual after all, and what else could he do other than physically restraining her and forcing her to stay?

“And Alice?”

He did not have a clever answer for that.

Because indeed he did not have a solution to that.

In the days that followed, both had avoided him like the plague. Both had taken to hiding in their own respective part of the house; Adeline had taken the loft and Alice had moved out of their own room and into one of the guest rooms. He had returned from his hunt one day and half of their room had been emptied out.

It was like a slap to his face.

Dear Alice, sweet Alice. In the end, just as she had said, she would not be the obstacle between him and Adeline. This was her best wishes for him; by giving up on them. He supposed it was only fair that he should let her go as she had pleaded. He had no right to court another while still demanding love from another. But this separation still pained him immensely.

It tore his heart into two.

He could not throw away 70 years of love away just like that. And he could not hurt Alice like that, could not let her break things off herself one-sidedly, without even a word or acknowledgement.

His mind was made.

He found her in her usual spot; the hollow in the ferns. Of course Alice had anticipated him, she simply gave him a watery smile before burying her face into his chest.

“This is the last time.” She sighed into his chest.

Yet even this promise was another knife to his conscience.

“How are you feeling?” He murmured tenderly into her hair.

Alice looked up and tried her best to smile through her unshed tears. “Jasper, I- She’s beautiful. So much more lovelier in person and in broad daylight. I can see why you still love her, even now…”

“Alice…” Jasper sighed, bringing his hands to hold her cheeks gently. “You don’t have to compare yourself to Adeline. It wasn’t her beauty I fell in love with; and neither did I love you for your looks only. You’re lovable just by being you.”

That seemed to cheer her up, for a bit at least. For she beamed and chuckled. But then as quickly as it happened, she was instantly back to her distracted self.

“I switched out all of the pictures of us and moved out everything into the guest room so that she wouldn’t get the wrong idea.”

Can someone really just pack up 70 years worth of love and time and memories into one container and just throw it all away? Never to be seen in the light of day. As if nothing ever happened. Can anyone?

Alice kept on blabbering, though was it to distract him or was it simply to distract herself, only she would know.

“I don’t think it’s right for us to be staying in the same room anymore. So I took the liberty to move out the moment she came.”

“Alice.”

“Just tell me if you need any of our stuff I’ll return it to you discreetly-”

“Alice!”

That seemed to shake her from her monologue and she gulped visibly, ready for whatever Jasper had to say next.

He didn’t want to pull an Adeline on Alice. No, no. He wanted to get this through to her. Whether they remain amicable as friends or part ways in bitterness, he had to get it through to her. He owed her this. Not a cold hearted ‘thanks for your time but my soulmate is here now so you can leave’. He needed to convey to her just what she meant and will always mean to him.

A stream of light in the dark, a breath of fresh air in his long and suffocating life of guilt and torment.

She had to know that without her, he would have been gone all those years ago.

“I don’t- I don’t want you to think that Adeline is any better than you, in terms of anything, not beauty, not intellect or personality. Because she’s not. You’re you and she’s she. Don’t ever change Alice, always be the energetic manic pixie that you are. Be yourself.

“Whatever happened between me and Adeline is between us, whether it’s karma for us to meet again now. It has nothing to do with you no matter what. You rescued me from myself and I will always always be grateful to you and if we could only continue be friends after all this-”

“But we will.” Already Alice’s grin was getting bigger and bigger, though there was a wistfulness in her eyes. “You saved me too you know; countless times.”

“I- Just… thank you…” He took her hand in his and gingerly caressed them. “And I want you to know that, I have loved you all these years as a friend, as a sister and as a lover. And I will always love you.”

“Just not that way you love Adeline.”

“No, I suppose not.” Jasper smiled self-depreciatingly.

“It’s alright, she’s your mate.” Alice blinked owlishly.

But Jasper shook his head slowly, contemplatively. “No, it’s more than that.”

“Oh?”

“It’s…” And yet he couldn’t put into words, just what this inexplicable feeling is.

“You’ll get there.” Alice’s smile pulled him back to reality. “Take your time.”

“Time, she won’t give me enough.” Jasper let out a sigh, then returned his attention to the little pixie. “But I didn’t come here to talk about my problems. I came to talk about you.”

Alice’s lips quirked up again. “Silly man. You know I’ll never hold a grudge against you.” Then her eyes grew distant as if she was looking into a time faraway. “I suppose my only wish is that… someday I’ll find someone like Adeline is to you.”

“You will.” Jasper leaned in to place a chaste kiss on her forehead before pulling back to look into those pair of clear liquid gold.

“I have no doubt in that.”

*

The loft, in her opinion, was wonderful. It was warm and cozy; the ceiling was slanted with a skylight window mounted on the roof that opened up to a scenery of trees canopies and from her vantage point she could just make out the mountainous terrain in the distance. And when she laid on her simple mattress and pillow, Adeline could watch the stars pass and the light change as it filtered into the room. Esme had insisted that it was too small for a guest and had pressed her to move into the guest room downstairs. But she loved the coziness and the skyline far too much to give it up.

Her room was otherwise bare, save for the stacks of books she had managed to snag from the library downstairs; and the few clothes that a silently fuming Rosalie had thrown out. Her worn satchel bag hung up in the corner, the leather peeling and showing at the corners. And an actual functioning laptop the Cullens had gotten her from Port Angeles.

This was more luxury than she ever had in the last couple of years since breaking off from her father.

She should be content with all the arrangement. She really should.

Yet despite it all, Adeline felt a profound sense of emptiness gnawing at her. A growing sense of dissatisfaction, of boredom.

She avoided the Cullens to the best of her ability, especially Jasper and Edward, because she couldn’t find it in herself to face the former and because she desperately needed her privacy from the latter. But she couldn’t help observing them from afar.

It was amazing how people of different walks of life could come together and find in one another a family they could turn to even at their lowest. The maternalistic Esme, Carlisle the patriarch of the family. Edward and Bella’s own little perfect family; all the other siblings. Even the ever disagreeable Rosalie was fiercely protective of her family.

She thought of her own flesh and blood and had to scoff.

Tatiana and father would be in hysterics if she even so much as suggest playing at house. As for all the others, well she couldn’t even recall half of them. And the only ones she could play pretend with, she did not have the heart to disturb their peace.

From her point by the window, she could see clearly the entire family gathered at the backyard around a bonfire, chilling around in the growing twilight. Renesmee was dancing around her parents, chatting incessantly about something; the couples were lost in their little world, soaking up in the presence of the other. And in the corner, there was Jasper and Alice sharing a benching, with their backs to her.

There was something she couldn’t pinpoint as she watched the two smile at each other, shoulders occasionally bumping, elbowing each other when a joke was shared.

An intimacy of sorts.

Then Jasper suddenly threw his head back and laughed without abandon at what Alice had said.

Adeline’s eyes widened, and her heart gave a violent thump.

In that moment, despite it all, Adeline wished more than anything that it was her who was beside him, that it was her who had made him laugh without a care.

It used to be me. She thought bitterly. And I gave it all away-

No, no, no, no. She stopped her thought immediately; she was not getting there again. Adeline rested her forehead against the window glass, letting the coolness calm her thoughts, putting a lid of the emotions that was threatening to leak out.

Take deep breaths. She psyched herself. You just need to get through this month, whatever bullshit Jasper sprouts, they’re all just lies. The minute this month ends, you’ll never have to see him ever again. You’ve done this before Adeline, you can do it again.

Her breathing evening, Adeline turned away to lay back into bed and buried her face into the pillow.

This was going to be another long and sleepless night.

*

“So Adeline,” Renesmee asked as they walked along the mountain trail. “Will you tell me more about yourself?”

Adeline sighed inwardly. So much for trying her best to avoid the family.

As soon as Renesmee had heard about Adeline’s arrival, she had practically begged to spend time with her new ‘friend’. Adeline herself was no match to the child’s begging and before long she already found herself agreeing to it. As for the father, albeit wary of the other, Edward’s stubbornness had finally crumbled under his daughter’s incessant begging and puppy eyes. So here they were, Adeline and Renesmee at the front, Jasper and Edward hanging not far behind. Renesmee had her arms securely wrapped around Adeline’s and she was practically hanging off like a monkey. Adeline had to laugh at that, the child was grinning gleefully from ear to ear.

“And what would you like to know?”

“When and where were you born?”

“I was born in 1789 in French Louisiana.”

“Then you’re more than 200 years old?!” Renesmee exclaimed. “Wow, that’s pretty old! Though that would make Grandpa Carlisle the oldest I know still, he’s from England from the 1660s I think.”

Adeline chuckled. “There are many more ancient than you know of Renesmee. Compared to them we’d be all babies in their eyes.”

“That’s true I guess.” The child mused. “And how was it like? To grow up during that time? Were your parents kind to you?”

Adeline felt her smile falter.

“My mother died giving birth to me, and my father wasn’t even aware of my existence when I was born. He never raised me.”

Surprised by her sudden bitter reply, Renesmee shrank back as if bitten and frowned to herself as she muttered a quick apology. “Oh… I’m sorry.”

“Well to be fair, it’s not your fault.” She tried to keep up the nonchalant facade. It shouldn’t sting anymore now, not after all these years. “It’s just that… Not every parent love each other as much as your parents do Renesmee. And not all people are brave enough to protect and save their loved ones like your father did.”

But it did stung. It stung to see there was actually someone who was willing to protect and save his beloved from death, instead of leaving them to die. She thought of her mother whom she had never known. In the depths of her heart, resentment mixed with guilt stirred and she had to clamp it all down before they surfaced.

“On the bright side.” Adeline continued quickly in forced cheerfulness. “My sister Henriette was there to raise me, and when she married, my brother-in-law Ralph was also there to take up half the burden. I had a nephew Timothee growing up with me, he became a military officer and was stationed in Texas.”

At the mention of Texas, Renesmee swiftly took a peek at the two adults deep in conversation at the back and then pressed her hand deep into Adeline’s. She gasped felt a shock as warmth ran through their touching hands, then she saw a vision of Jasper and a question directed at her. Was that where the two of you met?

The vision faded and she turned to Renesmee in astonishment, whose eyes were twinkling with mischief.

“What was that just now?” Adeline asked, still reeling from the shock.

Renesmee giggled in glee and made a grab of her hands to intertwine them together. It’s a special ability of mine. I can show you my thoughts and memory when I touch you. We can talk like this?

Spending a long minute to recover from her initial shock and astonishment, Adeline returned a wide grin towards the girl. “Then you must show me all of Jasper’s dirty little secret.”

Promise.

They continued on their merry way up the peak, Renesmee continuing her bombard of questions.

“Are there many like us?”

“I’m sure there are plenty out there just like us… I have quite some siblings myself.” Adeline stared forward in reminiscence. “Like me, like you.”

“Oh?”

“I have a younger sister, a bit younger than you. Bubbly little thing, although maybe a little bit too smart for her age.” Adeline smiled at Renesmee. “The two of you would be the best of friends.”

“Really?” Renesmee eye’s were twinkling in excitement. “Can I meet her? Can I? Can I?”

“Well I’m sure if your father agrees it’s not impossible.”

Squealing in delight, Renesmee turned back to make a beeline for her father. Adeline watched on, somewhat amused, as the child tackled her father with an enthusiasm that Edward did not mirrored. Edward caught his daughter expertly, and in between giving her incessant chatter and his replies, he shot Adeline dirty looks, as if accusing her of corrupting his daughter already. Pursing her lips petulantly, Adeline turned her attention to the other man by Edward’s side. There was an equally amused yet also tender look on Jasper’s face, and before she realised what she was doing, she made a face at Jasper.

Catching herself only far too late, Adeline frowned and quickly turned to continue on her way. But Jasper had already seen it and in a heartbeat he was by her side, falling in step as they ventured on. It had felt so natural then, yet now it unnerved her to no end to even have the man at her side.

Stupid idiot! For a second she wanted to slap herself in the face so hard. What were you thinking!

Adeline tried her hardest to keep her attention straight ahead, but it proved to be harder with every passed second. They were so close now their shoulders were practically touching, and it made her uneasy, this invasion into her personal space and boundary.

Soulmate my ass. She thought to herself. She couldn’t even bring herself to look him in the eye.

If Jasper sensed any of her unease he didn’t make a show of it. Instead he casually continued to walk beside her, taking in the scenery as he did.

“So what were the two of you conspiring about? Hopefully not my demise.” Jasper was the first to break the ice.

“Nothing worthy of your worry.” She retorted. “She only asked me about my childhood. And anyways I’m well aware the two of you were eavesdropping on us at the back.”

Jasper hummed, seemingly unaffected that he was found out so easily.

“The two of you weren’t exactly on the softer side during your discussion.”

Adeline scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“So…." Trying to find another topic to continue the conversation, Jasper continued his speaking. “Henriette huh, she’s your sister and not your grandmother.”

“Well yes.” Adeline frowned, wondering where this was going. “I couldn’t really continue posing as her sister as she got older while I still looked practically the same.”

“What happened to her in the end?”

“She died.” Adeline shrugged. “As all men do. I buried her myself.”

Jasper looked away uncomfortably. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She kept her reply nonchalant. “She had a wonderful life, devoted husband, successful son, an undead sister who remembers her still. I’d say she had a pretty decent life.”

She hated how curt her replies were; hated how everyone was trying to stir up emotions from the depths of her soul, to break this tranquility she had maintained all these years. For God's sake she didn’t want to be sentimental at all!

She desperately needed a change of subject.

“So…”

He could feel the uneasiness Adeline radiated, the surge of emotion within her when he mentioned Henriette, could practically see the cogwheels turning in her head, trying in vain to steer the conversation away from the painful subject of her past. Somehow it always came to this. Jasper thought. He had only meant to be friendly, but things got awkward fast enough so that neither could carry out any kind of meaningful conversation.

“So…” He continued to listen on as Adeline struggle to speak. “so I didn’t realise…That this family was supposed to be gifted!” She finally exclaimed.

“If Edward is a telepath and Renesmee is a... um able to communicated with touch, who else is gifted here? Don’t tell me Rosalie’s power is being ultra beautiful.”

“Huh…" Jasper turned to look at her in astonishment before quirking his lips at the idea of it. “She wish.” Continuing to observe his partner for her reactions, Jasper continued. “Well I guess you could say that we have a few gifted persons in the family. Bella has a sort of um... mental force field, she’s the only one Edward can’t mind read.”

Adeline’s brow shot up at that. “Go on.”

“Alice is a seer, she can see the future... though she can only see vampires and humans in her vision. She can’t see the future of your kinds very clearly.” If not we would’ve seen you coming years ago.

“And you?” Adeline turned to look at him, her face impassive, waiting for a response.

Her impassiveness made him uncomfortable, for a moment he didn’t know how much should he let on, for fear of how she would react. Betrayed? Mistrustful and wary of manipulation? Would she think herself manipulated into staying? Lucky for him, she was not a mind reader. But he didn’t want to be deceitful.

If there was one thing he wanted, it was to be truthful to her from the start. He wanted to rebuild the trust between them. Their relationship may be unsalvageable, but he didn’t need to give her more reasons to distrust him.

Jasper swallowed reflexively. “I’m an empath. I can feel and manipulate the emotions of others.”

“Oh!” She blinked and gave a little exclamation, expression unreadable. “That’s... impressive.” She finally commented flatly.

They lapsed into an awkward silence then, both stalling, waiting for the other to speak first.

“Then... what am I feeling right now?” She suddenly asked out of the blue.

He briefly wondered if she was testing his ability. But he needn’t focus anymore than he was doing already, Adeline was practically radiating with mistrust and nervousness.

“You don’t trust me.”

Adeline opened and closed her mouth like a fish then; clearly not knowing what to say.

“It’s alright. It makes people uncomfortable more than half the time... I’m not going to manipulate your emotions to me.” Jasper laughed depreciatingly.

“Have you?” She questioned softly.

Jasper started at the question.

“No I haven’t.” His answer was curt and perhaps a little cross. He was hurt that she would think him capable of doing something so low.

Now it was getting even more awkward.

“I’m sorry…" she finally mumbled.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.”

Silence ensued again.

He desperately tried to grapple for something to speak while Adeline was clearly fidgeting more and more by his side.

“You’ve got hidden talents up your sleeves too don’t you.”

“I…" Adeline glanced at him nervously, eyes shifting, no doubt contemplating whether it was safe for her to disclose so much to him. Whether he would use it for leverage or manipulate her weakness if the time required it. He couldn’t help the bitterness that came with the thought.

“You don’t need to deny it, I’ve seen the way you seemed to disappear into thin air; and the way you fight... there’s this sort of instinct there... it felt like you were acting long before you were thinking or even realising it.”

“Concealment.” Adeline shrugged. “If I focus enough, I can conceal my scent and myself so that no one can find or see me. It’s useful during escapes.”

“And the other…?"

Adeline stiffened visibly, her right hand coming up unconsciously to finger her earlobe, playing with the earring there; it was a nervous habit of hers, and he was somewhat surprised to see it still after years.

“It’s not really exactly a power or sorts... it’s more of an instinct…" she frowned trying to find the correct word to explain herself. “It’s like a voice that talks to me, warns me of all the dangers around me... and sometimes I see signs... everywhere. It’s a bit hard to explain.”

“And… what is your instinct telling you now?” Jasper held his breath, bracing for the answer he wasn’t sure he actually wanted.

She narrowed her eyes at him then, scrutinising, those pretty cornflower orbs darkening. Her eyes raked over his features, as if searching for an answer.

“Nothing. It’s telling me nothing.”

She finally said before turning away and marching onward.

Except it did tell her things, her instinct

It told her things that scared her as much as if it were telling her that her father was near.

And in anticipation of her arrival, he staked his guard just outside the clearing of the house. He was soon joined by members of his family, Edward on his left and Alice on his right. Carlisle and Esme were not too far behind, on the veranda. No one dared move.

Then there was the rustling of the leaves, but in all reality they had heard her from miles away, deliberately making the largest of noises. Adeline emerged in all her glory, single handedly holding the carcass of a giant mountain lion which she clearly had drained already. With a flourish, she threw the carcass right at the foot of Jasper.

She always did have a flare for the dramatics.

“You wanted me right, Jasper Whitlock?” Adeline growled, her eyes were wild and her countenance hostile. Alice eyed her warily, unable to predict the other’s move and Edward flared his nostrils in warning, ready to lunge forward anytime.

Jasper held out his hand, gesturing for the two to step down. With his eyes still trained on Adeline, he took a step forward to come face to face with the girl.

"Adeline."

Adeline’s face broke into a wide feral grin, though her eyes were shinning like cold hard coals. “Well here I am.” Her hands flew rapidly in the air, gesturing to herself. “So quit your stalkerish behaviour and let’s talk like real grown adults who’ve been living for way too long.”

He kept his face impassive, trying to show her just how hysterical she was acting. “You’re being irrational now. No one here means you any harm.”

“Irrational? Me irrational?!” She echoed in disbelief. Before pointing a finger in his face, absolutely livid. “I don’t need this talk from you! I’m not the one who’s been following an innocent girl half the country, disrupting her peace! Driving her insane!”

“Really, all I wanted was just some answers, which last I checked were quite long overdue.” Jasper shrugged nonchalantly, while Adeline looked as if she were ready to explode the next second.

“You don’t come to my house and harass me and my siblings and then demand to be answered to just like that!” She spat.

“Then what should’ve I done then?” Jasper asked cooly, his frustration was slowly building as well.

“You might have asked nicely-”

“Asked nicely?” He couldn’t help the scorn in his laugh, but neither could he conceal the hurt he had been feeling. “Would you have cared to answer then? Instead of running away as if you’ve seen a ghost? When you were the one who’d ran away like the ghost yourself?”

That seemed to slap her in the face and Adeline spluttered for a moment before finally threw her arms in the air, in a tantrum.

“I don’t care what you want! Just leave me the fuck alone!”

“You know I can’t do that." Not now when I’ve finally found you after so long.

In the end it was this declaration that proved to be the last straw for Adeline. With a feral growl and lightning reflexes, she was lunging for his jugular. But she had not known that Jasper was just as prepared for the attack; he had years of experience in war and in the handling of newborns. With equally, if not even quicker speed he blocked the attack and launched a counter attack, thought not meant to be lethal, only to subdue his opponent. Adeline dodged it with poise and precision, and retaliated with another punch aiming for the solar plexus.

It became apparent in a matter of seconds that the girl was fighting to win, aiming for all the vulnerable spots of her opponent, she fought with grace and an instinct, as if she knew where and when the next blow would be. Jasper on the other hand was quicker and stronger, craftier. Despite the girl’s anticipation, she was no match to Jasper superior skills, and it soon dawned on her that she was fighting a losing battle. Jasper watched her eyes shift, calculating, no doubt trying to hatch a hasty retreat.

Not this time.

With a swift block to her kick from the left, he’d lunge at her, tipping her off balance, pinning her to the ground with his hand clasped around her delicate neck, face inches from hers, close enough to bite.

But her warm hand was on his chest, where his dead heart was.

They were locked in an impasse, neither willing to let the other go first, to admit defeat. Though if anything it was clear from the way the fight had gone down, Jasper had the upper hand right from the beginning and was going easy on Adeline. She was no match to his superior ability or skills and would’ve lost eventually.

The defeat left her livid. He could feel her piercing glare and the venomous loathing seeping under his skin. But he’d rather her hate him then be apart from her for another minute, and he was worried that the minute he loosened his grip, he would lose her once again.

“Jasper, let’s invite our guest into the house, shall we?”

Carlisle’s soothing voice broke the two out of their chokehold on each other. Adeline glared at Jasper again, finally moving her hand away only to slap away his clasp on her neck. She stood up in fury and without a backward glance, stalked into the house.

*

Yes. Yes. Yes.

She could see him in broad daylight now. They had fought and she had lost. He was no longer the same Jasper she had known all those years ago, not the simple farm boy who had courted her nor the charming Major she had watched climb the ranks of the Souther army. Here was the man changed, replaced by a monster, stronger, faster, who had honed and mastered his own weaponries over the last century.

There was no mistaking now, Jasper Whitlock was a vampire.

And it infuriated her all the more because how could he throw away all his human life and pleasures, after everything she had sacrificed for him?!

“Well?” Adeline barked impatiently as she turned to face the family crowding around her in the living room, more had joined seemingly from out of nowhere. There was the little one’s family though she herself was absent; and then there was her woman from the bar in Minnesota hoovering close behind Jasper, as well as another two pair of couples.

“I haven’t got all day.” She snapped to no one in particular.

The leader, stepped forward to stand next to Jasper. Blonde hair carefully swept back neatly, in a tailor made suit. Adeline spared a glance at her worn out sweater and jeans and momentarily felt ashamed for her own tardiness. “I don’t suppose we’ve all formally met. My name is Carlisle Cullen, this is my family. From my understanding, Jasper and you have been long acquaintances-”

“Fair enough.” Adeline muttered, eyeing the latter who was quietly observing her severely in return. Oh how she wished she could gouge those golden orbs out.

“Esme here.” Carlisle now gestured at the honey blonde close to him. “She’s my mate. The others are my children, Edward, Bella, Rosalie, Emmett and Alice. Only Alice and Jasper are not my direct or indirect sires, they joined the coven voluntarily.”

That caught her attention and Adeline shot another glance at Jasper. So then, this well-spoken gentleman was not the one who had turned Jasper then. She wondered briefly who the culprit had been.

“And no doubt you’ve already met Renesmee, our youngest. She is Bella and Edward’s child.”

Adeline trailed her eyes onto the couple. Edward was scrutinising her reaction while Bella shifted uncomfortably. “You had the child before she was turned?” She directed her question towards the man. “How very rash.” And stupid. Adeline thought to herself.

She did not miss the small frown on Edward’s face.

“We did not know then, that I was… that we were capable of making a baby between a vampire and human.” Was his guarded reply. “We had never met another hybrid before it. And we paid the price with the Volturi.”

“The Volturi came for your child?” That piqued her interest.

“Yes.” Edward nodded. “We barely avoided conflict and a bloodbath.”

Well, that was interesting information. Her fury at Jasper momentarily set aside, Adeline stopped to process this new piece of information.

“What did you say or do to have them off your back? Because I can’t imagine them being all too accepting with the news. Especially if they’ve never met or seen a hybrid before. They’d be wary of it and keen to destroy before word could spread.”

“There’s a coven of hybrids in South America.” Alice, the girl from the bar butted in with her shrill little voice. “Jasper and I managed to track them down and we were able to learn of the basics of your kind. They had to leave when they couldn’t find another threat.”

Adeline's brows shot up in surprise. “There’s a coven of hybrids in South America? What of them now then?”

“We aren’t sure.” Carlisle finally answered after a moment of silence. “But we have our own speculations.”

“No violation of the sacred laws of the Volturi will ever go unpunished.”

Adeline’s thoughts unconsciously wandered back to her father as she mulled over Carlisle’s words thoughtfully, a hand over her chin. A breech in the laws… Punishments…

“What of you then?” Edward’s question roused her from her thoughts and back to the present.

“What of me?” Adeline echoed in feigned innocence.

“Your maker.” Edward was looking at her squarely in the eye. A hint of hostility lingering at the back of his voice. “Last I remembered, you were quite adamant that my daughter was not to trust her own makers. I can’t imagine why.”

Adeline felt the corner of mouth twitched in annoyance. What a petty, narrow minded man he was. “Well I’m sorry but not everyone lives a sequestered, pampered life like you do, Mr Edward.” She flashed him a wide fake smile. “And no, I'm not interested in divulging in my private life with the likes of strangers.” As if she was going to tell them of Father and her siblings. Although she hated one half of them and felt indifferent towards the other half, there were still a few precious ones in her family she would wish to keep safe. She didn’t quite trust the Cullens enough, and certainly not Jasper, to reveal too much of her private life to them. There was no guarantee that the Volturi would be kind for a second or third time. There was no guarantee the family did not have any ties or agreement with the Volturi.

She was engaged in a heated stare off with Edward when she glimpsed Jasper fighting to keep his face stoic.

“What?” She snapped. “What’re you smiling at?”

“You know, Adeline. I would hold my thoughts closer to myself if I were you when Edward’s around.” Jasper was evidently trying and failing to suppress a smirk as the corner of his lips tugged upwards. “He’s a telepath.”

Adeline snapped her head towards Edward so quick she thought she was giving herself whiplash. She felt herself blanched as she thought of all the things that Edward would now know before resolutely slamming a mental wall over her mind.

Motherf- She had been duped! Again! This was a trap all along! And in coming here she had willingly fallen headfirst into it like a moth to a fire!

With a frustrated growl, Adeline turned and stalked straight out of the house.

She should never have come!

“Adeline. Adeline.”

She kept striding forward, ignoring Jasper’s voice even as it followed her, getting closer and closer until he was close enough to grab her by the arm.

“Adeline!”

“What is it that you want?” Adeline hissed still fuming, as she pulled her hand away from his grasp. “I came because I thought you wanted to talk like real adults. But I guess that was never your intention!”

“Adeline, you know it’s never my intention to harm you.” He sighed in response.

“You didn’t have to stalk me, and certainly not my sister. She was innocent.”

“And you know you wouldn’t have come on your free will if I hadn’t done that.” Jasper murmured, somewhat akin to a wounded puppy. For a split second she thought she had a glimpse of his guilt but she wouldn’t let it cloud her judgement. She was supposed to be angry, and she had every right to be so.

She was not the perpetrator in this.

Or so she convinced herself.

“Look, fine. You got me.” Adeline threw her hands up in resignation and sighed. “I’m a hybrid, my father is a vampire, all my siblings are half vampires. I’ve been alive since 1789; I was a hybrid when I met you, I’m still one now. Does that satisfy your question?”

“Why did you leave?” Jasper eyed her cautiously, wary of her sudden forthcomingness.

“I left because I wanted to.” The lie rolling out of her mouth was surprisingly so much easier than she thought it would be. “There’s no deeper meaning in it than that.”

“Bullshit.” Jasper growled dangerously.

Adeline feigned annoyance and shook her head with a sigh. “Sometimes the truth is just harder to accept, Jasper.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“It’s not up to you to decide.” She looked away then and heaved another sign.

There was a heaviness in the air and it made her squirm uncomfortably. For all the intimacy they had shared together all those years ago, it felt like they were two strangers right now. But they might as well be.

People change all the time. And for all that it may, she wasn’t the same girl Jasper Whitlock had courted a century and a half ago. She had long since buried her naivety and innocence in the passage of time.

She had become a stranger to him, just as he had become a stranger to her now.

There was no sense in any sort of rekindling of any kind.

“I think I’m gonna go now.” Adeline mumbled without even looking up.

“Wait.” She felt his strong hand on her wrist again, stopping her from motion. “Not yet.”

“What?”

She turned back, confused to see the new determination in his eyes.

“Aren’t you curious?”

“Curious about what?”

“Have you ever thought, how did Jasper manage to find me? How did Jasper manage to track me down? Because clearly you have some sort of instinctive self preservative and concealment ability and I’m guessing that it’s usually close to impossible to track you.”

“And?” She couldn’t see where this was going. Really, it was a waste of time.

“Haven’t you ever given thought to just what kind of beings possesses such an ability?”

“You’re wasting time talking in circles.” She declared.

“Come on darling.” She hated that knowing smirk on his face. It was equally becoming and also frustrating to look at. “Tick tock. Think.”

Adeline squinted at the man in front of her suspiciously. Just what in God’s name was he implying? What kind of being would be able to track someone down easily. The obvious answer would be: a tracker. But she knew this was not what Jasper was trying to get at given his specific veiled remark. So then… what?

“Especially when there’s a bond involved?”

That snapped her out of her reverie.

“I don’t believe you!” Adeline spluttered in indignation. “Bullshit! I… I’m not going to fall for that load of crap!” Jasper’s calm demeanour only spurred on her anger. “You’re suggesting a soulmate bond?! Impossible!”

“Calm down darlin-”

“Calm down?” Adeline echoed after Jasper, incredulous. “Are you… are you hearing yourself?”

“Yes I am.” The straight face he was giving her, it was just too much!

“Those things don’t exist Jasper.” She tried to implore, to talk some sense into that thick skull of his, which seemed to have grown in thickness since the last time they had met.

“You wanna bet?” He shot her a cocky smile, and her heart began to thump rapidly. Out of indignation, not excitement. She said to herself.

“You can bet your pretty little head that when I’m done I’m going to serve it on a silver platter!”

“You do remember that I know where your little sister is, don’t you?”

“Are you threatening me?”

“Come now. That’d be low even for me.”

“Fuck you!”

Oh that cocky smirk. Her rage was coming back on full now and Jasper had been doing nothing but fanning the flames of her anger every given chance. Some part of her mind, the part still capable of rational thought, nagged at her.

And why are you so irritated by the accusation?

Because this is incredulous. She thought to herself.

“Come on, darling. Prove me wrong.”

When she made no move to reply, Adeline felt a hand clasping around hers. And cold as it may be, the gentleness of the caress reminded her for the first time in a long while, of a time she thought had already escaped her all those years ago. She looked up at his tawny eyes, for the first time since their reunion, they held nothing but a vulnerability, a deep longing that came from a depth that she was afraid to venture in. She had to turn away for fear of drowning in those liquid topaz.

“Stay… stay for a month.” He continued to coax, soothingly, his voice like silk in her ears and she felt an artificial wave of calm trying to wrap around her. “Prove yourself right and prove me wrong. Prove that I’m an obsessive psychopathic lunatic who’s just been randomly pulling crazy ideas out of thin air.”

Adeline swallowed. This would be a very bad idea, this would be a very very bad idea. “What’s in this for me?”

“If I can’t convince you by the end of the month.” She watched him lick his lips, a nervous tick of his that only ever seems to emerge when the two were alone. “I’ll leave you alone for good.”

“Deal.” She found herself say in reply. Though deep down, there was a sense of wrong, that she had committed yet another mistake, had willingly walked into another trap of his. With her years behind her, if anything they should have taught her to be smarter, to be more level-headed and calculating.

So why was she agreeing to this crazy suggestion?

Adeline held his gaze searchingly for a moment. Finally forcing herself to speak, her voice momentarily caught in her throat.

“You’ve changed, Jasper.”

*

“You’ve changed, Jasper.”

Him, changed? Jasper was surprised by the irritation the statement had stirred in him.

“How so?” He tried to keep his voice even, but there was a tremor in it, one he hoped Adeline would not catch ahold of.

“You…” He watched as she frowned inwardly, searching for the right word to say. “You didn’t used to be so… so manipulative.”

That struck a chord in his heart.

“You’ve set traps for me at every turn.” The accusation was salt on his wound and it stung so badly. But she was not entirely wrong.

“You got to do what you got to do to survive in my world.”

“Your world?”

“Yes, my world.”

He suddenly felt an unsalvageable gulf between the two of them. Adeline was right, he had changed, by the Civil War, by Maria and his bloodlust filled life. Life had forced to him to be ruthless and militaristic, to exploit every little weakness his opponents had, to manipulate every emotion exuberated. Life with Cullens had softened him considerably, but he had not lost this skill he had honed over the century. And in times of need, the Major in him always resurfaced.

“But can you say the same for yourself?”

Adeline had changed too.

He scrutinised her pretty face closer, searching for some semblance of the lover he had lost all those years ago.

She had once compared him to the different intervals of the day. He was the afternoon, warm and welcoming, when the sun was just right, when the sunlight wasn’t too harsh and the warmth from it shrouded one in a blanket of sleep. And he had compared her to midday, when the sun was at its highest, when the light was intense and at its strongest.

Now the light seemed to be gone from her. She was a new moon, when even the light of the moon had spun away, hidden in the dark night. And he realised how little he knew of her just as she knew nothing of his. What had happened to have taken away her sun?

He watched as Adeline frowned before moving away uncomfortably under his intense gaze.

An air of hesitancy shrouded around Adeline, growing stronger by the minute. No doubt their conversation had brought great unease to the girl now; for the first time, the two of them realised just how little they know of the other. Of all the changes the other had gone through since their breakup.

And it seemed that, neither was quite willing to let the other in.

With the loss of innocence, it wasn’t near impossible for them to bare their soul and heart to the other in a heartbeat, without scruples.

For fear of more injuries, for fear of ripping out new wounds amongst old scars. For all the shame they had gone through in the years since passed.

“We’ve all changed.”

But the final verdict seemed wronged, and it aroused in him a sense of dissatisfaction from the depths of his chest. Gnawing at him. It didn’t feel right, he hadn’t intended to push her away even further when he lured her here. He had wanted to reconnect with her, to rebuild whatever was lost between them. To pick up from wherever they had departed.

And it only seemed to distance her even further away.

Jasper frowned in distaste and turned towards the house again.

She was still waiting for a sign.

On occasions, Adeline felt watched and the unease in her heart refused to subside. Something was about to happen to break this faux peace, she was sure; but just what it was she had no clue. And the more time had passed, the more on edge and paranoid she got, going so far as to snapping at poor Loreen for the smallest of things. She hated herself more than ever.

In the end, the sign she had been waiting for came in the form of flowers.

Cornflowers to be exact.

A bouquet was left in the early morning on the doorsteps of their little shared house. No one had heard the deliverer. Anakin and Teddy were away, engaging in their own businesses. Loreen was still tucked safely in her little fort of plushies and rag dolls. Adeline had merely opened the door to enjoy some fresh air and was instead met with a bouquet of cornflowers arranged with utmost care.

Your eyes are the colour of cornflowers.

A man she loved once told her. So she was reminded of.

Holding the bouquet as far away from herself as possible, she chucked the bouquet straight into the trash and went about her day as if nothing happened. As if she wasn’t bouncing her leg non-stop while watching reruns on TV, or how distracted she was, or how Loreen kept shooting worried glances at her. As if she wasn’t practically vibrating anxiety off her being.

The flowers never stopped. Every morning a fresh batch was laid on the doorsteps, Loreen even managed to steal some and displayed them in a pretty little vase in her room. Out of spite, Adeline thought. She tried to stay vigilant and stand guard at the door, but then they would only appear elsewhere around the house. She knew then that there was no running from this.

Adeline would bet good money on who her secret admirer (stalker) was. She did not remember him as a stubborn man; but from the persistence of his action she had gathered what game he was playing at. This was an open challenge issued to her, a taunt, he wouldn’t confront her upfront. No, he was patient with his schemes and would strike only when the hour was ripe; he was the predator and her the prey now. And she was so so tempted to rise to the bait. But she must keep her cool, and not loose her mind. He might loose his interest in her yet.

In a century or two. Her treacherous mind taunted mercilessly.

Oh but how wrong was she.

The next taunt came the next day in the form of a book, Frankenstein.

Specifically, the exact copy of the cheap paperback edition she had left behind in Whitehorse months ago.

In a fit of hysterics, she threw open the front door and went all the way up to the front yard and bellowed into the empty countryside. “Leave me the fuck alone you sick bastard!”

Only later did she start to question.

How did he find her? How did he manage to track her down from Whitehorse to Minnesota and now Colorado? She was confident of her concealment ability.

So then, how?

*

From a distance, Jasper watched the girl sitting at the front porch, lacing up her roller skates. The child turned her heard, seemingly to answer someone inside the house before finishing up the rest of her laces. Then in trepidation she tested water with the first few step, before gaining confidence and propelling herself forward into the open road.

In her flowy sundress and a light cardigan, seemingly not minding the alpine chill, the child spread out her arms and laughed with her head thrown back, as if she were soaring amongst the wind instead. She seemed like any other child, if it weren’t for her scent, and that luminous skin in the morning light.

Jasper casually got out of his car and leaned against it, unsubtly observing the girl. That seemed to catch the child’s attention as she eyed him suspiciously while zipping past the first time; before turning round at the end of the drive and passing by again. If she was scared then she hardly showed it. After a few back and forth, she finally slowed a few meters from Jasper and regarded him cooly.

“Who are you?” Her asked in a sing-song voice. “If you’re here to sell cable or insurance or fire resistant something, we’re not interested.”

“Ah I see so you are the Madame of the house then, little lady.” Jasper chuckled and watched as the child pouted and crossed her arms, petulant at the name. Yes, she was like one of those children too smart for their own good, sharp witted but quick to anger. And much too trusting. “Fear not, I am only a friend. Tell me, do you live here with family?”

“Half siblings.” The child corrected.

“And is not your half-sister called Adeline?”

“And you are?”

“A long time... friend.” He hesitated after a second.

“Oh?” Now her voice was laced with suspicion.

Jasper smiled charismatically and exerted an air of reassurance over the child. “Do you think you can send a message from me to her?”

The child frowned, clearly reluctant. “Couldn’t you do it yourself? If you really are her friend. She’s in a mood these days and I don't want to cross anymore than I need to.”

“I don’t think she’d like to see me for now.” Jasper shrugged nonchalantly, as if he was not in fact stalking the said person, but simply had a disagreement with her over a conversation during bar night.

She narrowed her eyes at him again.

“What’s in this for me?”

Jasper bowed his head respectfully. “Of course there will be payment on my part. I shall be forever in your debt.”

She pursed her lips and pondered on the request thoughtfully. “If I am to be messenger,” She began slowly. “I’d like a year’s worth of Ben and Jerry’s. And a year’s subscription of Netflix!” She looked so haughty then, so proud of herself for striking a deal that he had to chuckle.

“Oh little lady.” He said in between laughs, somehow adoring the sweet innocence of the child. “You drive a hard bargain don’t you? Yes of course I promise.” He put a hand over his heart and bowed. “Cross may heart and hope to die.”

That seemed to satisfy the child and she grinned cheekily at him, no doubt pleased with her little bargain of free ice cream and Netflix films.

“Here.” He produced from his pocket a single map. And handed it to the girl. She eyed it suspiciously before taking in gingerly, their hands briefly touching. If she noticed his ice cold skin then she did not make a remark.

Instead her eyes flickered back to him and she chewed on her lips thoughtfully before finally opening her mouth. “I hope... I hope whatever it is between the two of you, all will be well soon.”

Momentarily caught surprised, Jasper straightened his stance and looked to the house in the distance with longing and tenderness.

“Yes I hope so too.”

*

“Oh Lorie you’re finally back. Fun time roller skating?”

Adeline was sitting on the sofa, in a bathrobe with blankets wrapped all around herself up to her head flipping through the channels at top speed.

“I met a friend of yours down the street.” Loreen announced.

“Friend? What friend-”

“Jasper.”

She froze at the name.

“Come again?”

“Jasper was here and he wanted me to pass on a message to you.” Loreen stated as-a-matter-of-factly and handed over the old map. She scrutinised her sister; watched as her face blanched before being replaced by red hot fury.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Adeline bellowed, crumpling the map into a tight little wall. “Where is he? Is he still out there now?!”

Loreen shrugged, trying to convey the message that she was just as clueless as the other was. “I’m sure he’s only just left.”

Adeline bolted out of the doors at once.

“Jasper!” She yelled like a lunatic, and searched frantically, not giving a fig what the neighbours would think. She had other pressing matters to be concerned of.

How dare he! How dare he approached her family, especially her innocent sister! He had already shattered her little peaceful life! That she could tolerate, and she supposed to some extent, she was reaping what she had sowed years ago. But preying on her young sister like that! He had no right! Absolutely no right! How dare he!

Hidden under the shades of the woods she took off in a blur, trying to locate the man. But the faint smell she caught whiff of indicated that he had long since been gone.

Still livid, she stomped her way back to the house.

First the flowers, then the book and now this map. Jasper; yes she was finally going to acknowledge this, that he was the same man she had met all those years ago, and that yes he was a fucking vampire now! And one with no fucking sense of boundaries! His message was clear and simple.

Don’t think that you’ve been forgotten. I know where you are and I will find you, whatever it takes. Or you can come to me, on your terms. You know where to find me.

She spread the crumpled map out.

Washington.

It was a state map of fucking Washington!

Like a flame being doused with ice cold water, she finally realised her mistake all those months ago. The hybrid child she had met in the clearing… That was how he had come to know of her. There was no doubt of it now. The child must have told her coven of their meeting, and either he was part of the coven, or he was on intimate terms with them. Either way, she had damned herself that day when she had decided not to trust her instincts to stay inland. And like dominoes, a little push had unknowingly caused the whole system to collapse on its own, the shockwaves continuing to reverberate in the aftermath of the disastrous meeting.

Adeline cursed and screamed in frustration.

Stupid! Stupid! She was so stupid! What was she to do now?! Engage? And she would be falling right into his laps without a fight. Run? But for how long? He had proven himself more than capable of tracking her somehow, it would be all for naught. He had a coven; and she had only her siblings. Siblings whom never got involved with her affairs, nor did she wish to involve into the mess. And especially not her youngest.

Frustrated, she flipped the map to find an actual written message penned in impeccable cursive handwriting. Which got her blood boiling immediately.

Do you have what it takes?

Self-righteous bastard! Well she’ll show him!

Adeline was in and out of the house in a flash, clothes changed. “Addie where are you going?” Loreen was by the door, obviously concerned.

“I’m going.” Her reply was short, clipped.

“At least wait for Anakin or Teddy.”

“No Loreen. I have to go. You’ll be fine on your own right?” Adeline tried to smile to relieve the tension, but evidently the tight-lipped smile only succeeded in agitating her sister more.

“I suppose yes. But-"

“Stay safe dear. I’ll see you in a bit.”

And she was out.

She refused to address her other concerns; like what did he want by actively seeking her out, or how did he even find her when she had made sure all her tracks were concealed? What did it mean for the two of them now that the other was all along alive and well? What would it entail for either parties from here on? What would father even do should he learn of this?

All of the what ifs and hows and whys were all overshadowed by her high-strung emotions. Her action was spurred into motion and further fulled by her fury at her former lover. Really, she lacked even a concrete plan of engagement which she seemed to be forgetting repeatedly in favour of the raging anger within her.

One she had not felt in years now.

*

“Are you sure she’ll come?” Edward asked.

“I’m sure.” Was Jasper’s curt reply, even if the doubt was weighing heavily down on his heart. He was back in Forks, back with his family where there was still some semblance of safety and control.

For nights, he had sat outside of Adeline’s little house in his car, just thinking and formulating, the best ways to engage her. He could knock on her door right then and there, and no doubt she would lose her shit, and everything would be fucked. Or he could catch her attention and lure her out back to where he felt safest, and should she decide to come along with then he would engage accordingly. At that time it felt like a decent plan, but now that he was home, the plan seemed stupid. Either way seemed like it would end pretty badly. In the end, he had made his escape early, had not stayed to see Adeline’s reaction at his subtle message. For fear of rejection, for fear of being unable to bear the disappointment.

He was such a coward.

And now he watched as his brother grimaced and frowned, clearly hesitating whether to speak his mind out or not, before finally making his mind up. “It’s just… are you sure about this?”

“About what?” Jasper said feigning ignorance.

“You’re taunting her.” Edward stared him straight in the eye, somewhat sternly. “Is this any way to court the girl you like?”

“Well, says the man who stalked his then classmate in her bedroom every night.” He shot back with barb, clearly annoyed.

Edward’s face soured and immediately stalked off the other way.

Offended.

Jasper sighed and ran a hand absentmindedly through his tangled hair, emotions all over the place. He knew he was an unwelcome presence in the house lately, practically vibrating off anxiety within a mile radius and affecting anyone within. It made the others nervous, stressed even. And everyone avoided him like the plague.

Bella and Edward had taken Renesmee to their little cottage so that the little one would not be affected. Carlisle had taken to working long hour shifts at the hospital and God knows where Rose and Emmett were.

And Alice... Alice was distancing herself from him.

She had taken to avoiding him, bluntly. She was never in the same room as he was. Had stopped being affectionate like she used to. Their interactions were reduced to light pats on his shoulder, fleeting hand touches, tight-lipped smiles that never quite reached her eyes. She was clearly hurting regardless of what she proclaimed. And to make matters worse, it was fracturing the family.

Emmett’s the-devil-may-care attitude can be reassuring, but Rosalie’s disdain at him was dully noted. Bella was torn and Edward was still suspicious of Adeline but somewhat more understanding of his predicament, although apparently he had just pissed off his last comrade. Carlisle and Esme were only concerned for the two of them, no doubt wanting the best for the pair of them.

And there was nothing he could do.

Alice had made the decision for the two of them.

But it tortured him as much as it killed her. She was the light in his pitiful life for years, his beacon in the dark night. She would never forgive him for all his betrayals just as he could never forgive himself for being the one to hurt her,

And now it pained him just as much to think of Adeline, of his plan to lure her out. He had known her like the back of his own hand then. Though what an irony that felt now. The one he had meant to share his life with, ended up being the one he had known the least.

While she can be sweet and lively, her temper seemed to have a mind of its own. And her heart always dominated in any decisions she made. She was open to persuasion, but would never bend to anyone’s will by force. Would react badly and lash out if forced.

And he had forced her hand.

Adeline would come, she must. Because if she did not, what then? He could go back to Alice and begged for her to take him back or he could continue hunting Adeline down, but then what? He could not force her into anything against her will, he would not. While he was no saint, he certainly was no monster to force himself onto her. She had only need to say the words, with steel in her resolve and he would begone as she requested, forever.

And should she have changed?

It had been more one and a half century since their parting, he had changed much. How did he expect her to remain the same? How did he expect her to remain steadfast in their love? Or its lack thereof?

He was torn between being content with simple ordinariness, or pursuing something more, something all encompassing and consuming, but also elusive which might end up being a gamble for nothing.

Either required him to make a blind leap of faith, though one was certainly more perilous than the other.

"I don't... I don't know what to do." He finally admitted aloud to Edward's retreating form, watched as the man turned to look back at him with narrowed eyes. "I have the choice... I have the choice to move on like she did, or I can continue to pursue her to the ends of the world, like some psychopathic stalker vampire..."

"But you don't want to be neither." Edward sighed sympathetically.

"No."

"And yet you don't want to let her go either."

"No, I don't either."

Jasper shot his brother a bittersweet smile before lapsing into silence. It felt embarrassing to tell Edward of his inner most thoughts, but at the same time there was something cathartic in finally sharing with someone what he thought.

"If there's anything I learnt from being with Bella," Edward said after a moment of thought. "It's that every relationship requires the investment of both parties. It's useless if she doesn't reciprocate your feeling."

Jasper quirked his lips ruefully. "Alice seems to think otherwise."

"Alice can't see the hybrid's future."

"No but I told her we might be soulmates."

"Well are you?"

"I don't know... I think so."

Jasper looked up to see Edward with a smug smirk aimed at him. "Well what do we have here? The cold and calculating Major Whitlock stumped for once because he's confused what to do with his lover-"

"Edward!" He protested loudly.

Ed laughed with mirth before holding up his hands in surrender. "I digress." Then his demeanor turned serious again. "Like I said, it requires two people to be in love. A soulmate bond doesn't automatically make her fall in love with you and vice versa. At the end of the day, it's just a bond. It ties the two of you together in this life, you can feel her, might even need her. But at the end of the day, it's for the both of you to decide if the both of you want to purse a more serious relationship, no?"

Jasper looked away, not wanting to meet his brother's intense gaze.

Had he considered what she wanted?

He loved her, still. But did she want him in the same way?

"I... tell me what I should do then?"

The proposition pained him physically and mentally and Jasper closed his eyes and swallowed harshly.

But Edward only looked at him with a tenderness and pity in his eyes.

When she was warm and fed, Adeline retreated with Loreen into the latter’s room. The raging storm in her chest was finally calming by the child’s careless humming as she laid in Loreen’s double bed, guarded by plushies and dolls of all sort. While Loreen was parked next to her enormous hand crafted dollhouse, deftly placing each doll into their designated place. There was something she had noticed that was nagging at her.

“Why are you wearing gloves indoors?”

Loreen started and whipped her head towards Adeline, clearly made uncomfortable by the question. “Um… well you see…” The child spluttered, momentarily staring at her hands before finally shrugging nonchalantly and tugging the pair of gloves off. “You’re right, I suppose they are ridiculous, aren’t they?”

She threw the pair of gloves over her dresser before stooping to stuff the rest of her miniature dolls into the dollhouse and diving into bed. Her attention already distracted by something else like any child would do.

“Ohhh! What’s this Addie? I never saw this on you before.” She pointed to the little silver locket around her neck. Clearly fascinated by the intricate carvings on the locket. “It’s absolutely gorgeous!”

“Oh this old thing?” Adeline fingered the trinket, felt the grooves and the carving underneath her thumb. It was funny how she could look at it now with a sterilised sense of calm but god forbid lose control so easily faced with the man in the woods.“It was from a friend.”

“Pretty.” Loreen murmured. Leaning closer to check out the trinket, she touched it gingerly with a finger and was immediately absorbed by it. “Must be very important if you’re still holding onto it after all these years.”

That struck a nerve and Adeline quickly tucked the locket beneath her bathrobe and shot Loreen a smile, abruptly changing the subject. “Well aren’t you chatty tonight, Lorie.”

“Well you know what I’m down to chat about?” Loreen shifted her little body so that she was on her stomach, cheeks in her hands, sizing Adeline up with her brown eyes. “Your absence.”

“You sure you want to talk about this, young lady?” Adeline laughed, amused by the child’s antics.

“I do.” Was the child’s serious reply.

“Well you have Anakin. And Teddy. I think you hardly need me around.”

“Anakin’s a tyrant, he never takes no for an answer. And he’s surprisingly very persuasive when he wants. And Teddy… Teddy’s fine, he’s a good a soul. But he’s a bit of a bore.”

Adeline snorts. “Good soul? Good lord Loreen where did you learn to talk like this?”

Loreen pouted cutely. “See this is all Anakin’s work. He’s just no fun really. I miss having you around, I need another girl to talk to!”

“Oh sweetheart I’m sure some of the neighbour’s kids would play with you.”

“They’re such children! I couldn’t possibly play with them! I’m surrounded by goldfish everywhere!”

“You’re a child yourself. And you’re not in an aquarium, Loreen.”

“Yes I am, so I really need you here with me. Besides Father never comes. I mean you’d actually be pretty undisturbed here. He calls us disappointments anyways. He only ever has time for the elites!”

Adeline smiled ruefully and reached a hand pat the little one’s head. Here she was, worrying even her little sister. “He will be around more, if he knew I was here.”

“Ahhh to be a favourite child.” Loreen sighed dramatically.

“Seriously, where did you learn to speak like this?”

“What? Because it is unbecoming of a child?”

“Exactly.”

The pair stared the other down until finally Loreen cracked.

“I might have been rifling through Netflix a bit…”

“And?"

“And I do so adore those British period pieces.”

“There we have it! I think I might need to talk to Anakin about you-“

“Oh you are odious!” Loreen pouted again, before latching onto Adeline’s arm. “Please, please, pretty please! Don’t rob me of my only joys in life! Anakin’s barely even bothers with me half the time and have you seen Teddy? No! Because he’s always out to do some boring stuff and I’m always alone! I’m bored out of my mind! I'll read anything in this house, I even read the dictionary to pass time!”

Adeline laughed again. “Alright, little lady. I’ll let you be, so long as you go to sleep right now.”

Still grumbling, Loreen got under the quilt but nonetheless snuggled close to Adeline.

“Sweet dreams dear.”

She watched the child close her eyes. Lucky child, she wished she was back in that little cottage, snuggling up to her sister, a fire roaring in the hearth. When sleep was easy and her dreams were not tainted by her demons and shadows of regret.

But just as she felt the tendrils of an oncoming nightmare, she felt a small hand reaching up to her forehead. Adeline soon felt a warmth enveloping her body, her head was on a pillow of cloud. And just before she fell into a dreamless slumber, she thought she heard a whisper.

“Sleep well, Adeline.”

*

“Jasper are you sure?” Alice asked worried, hurrying after the man as he strode with purpose.

“I’m sure.” They were at a car dealership in Minnesota. Alice had been stumped trying to scour for possible leads for Adeline, but something had changed for Jasper. Instead of the usual moroseness that clung to him, he seemed to have been rejuvenated by some unknown spark, there was a new found confidence in him of sorts. It mystified her, he was acting like a child who had been let on a secret that he only knew.

“I’ll drive you to the closest airport and you can take the next flight home.” Jasper said as he led her to the car he had bought. “Then I’ll continue on from there.”

“And how exactly are you going to find her, Jasper?” She quizzed. “If a seer can’t even find her. And she leaves practically no scent for anyone to follow if she wants.”

Jasper turned to look at her then, really looked at her; she scrutinised him equally hard on her part. Searching for an answer.

And it hit her like a bullet to the chest.

She understood then.

“She’s your mate, isn’t she?”

Jasper looked away guiltily before giving her an affirmative nod. “I think so… yes.” His eyes clouded over then, reminiscing. “It took seeing her again to confirm it. But I… I feel her in my heart, this small tugging… incessantly. Even now I can feel it, pulling at me, urging me to move, to be closer.”

“Oh Jasper. That’s wonderful news.” She had to congratulate him, despite still reeling from the shock and the ever-growing pain inside her heart. She really shouldn’t be selfish now.

“Alice.” Her hand was clasped into his large ones, and she eyed their intertwined hands before gently letting them fall. One look at him and she saw the heartbreak and sorrow in him. How torn he must be feeling right now, the dilemma he was in. “I’ve hurt you, Alice.” He finally murmured. “And it wasn’t even my intention.”

But how could she forget that for every little emotion she had, Jasper felt it tenfold more. So intense was his sense that if her heartbreak was already eating at him, it must have been excruciating when he had seen Adeline the night before.

“Perhaps I really shouldn’t..." Deliberating internally with his own doubts and concerns, Jasper struggled to find the right words to express himself. "She doesn’t want to see me... not anymore anyways. Why throw away everything we’ve built...”

Alice watched on as she was reminded of her times with Jasper then. The Quileute tribe may deem him dangerous for his skill and experience in the army, he might have had a hand in the Southern Vampire wars; but the Jasper she knew, the man she had loved was always a sweet and gentle man. Sentimental yes, empathetic even more so. All the years he had spent shielding her, simply being there for her. Alice knew that if she took away this chance from him, it would always be a regret on his part. And this wound would continue to fester like cancer, eat at him, until it ultimately killed him from the inside. Until there was nothing left but a shell of a man.

He deserved more than anyone, to love and be loved.

And if all he needed was a push, she would gladly give it to him.

“Go.” She beamed at him through her unshed tears. “Go find her and make it up to her.”

“I’m not even sure if there’s anything that needs my making up to her.” Jasper whispered in exasperation, but his caress betrayed a gentleness that was almost innate in him. She leaned into his palm one last time.

“Bring her back will you, I have a hunch we’ll be the best of friends.” She breathed. Watched as a new resolve hardened in his eyes.

“Yes ma’am” The same reply he had given when she first greeted him in that little diner in Philadelphia.

Her heart might break just a little bit more.

*

Jasper was driving his new car, not quite sure where his destination was yet. Simply letting the pull at his heart guide him.

Though to be honest, his mind wasn’t particularly on the scenery or the drive. He needed the time to think, to sort out the mess that was in his mind.

A soulmate bond.

When Carlisle had mentioned to him all those years ago; he had struggled not to be cynical about it. Because yes, it was rude; but also because he didn’t quite believe in all that bullshit after his time with Adeline and then his affair with Maria. Maria had simply manipulated and ensnared him into a web of lies and then proceeded to use him and mould and knead him into whatever she needed him to be then. There was no deeper emotion other than the feeling of being exploited by the woman.

But Adeline. Adeline, she had straight up ripped out a wide gapping hole in his heart. Do people ever get over a heartbreak like that? He had wondered.

It was really Alice who had calmed him down over the years, shed new light on his existence as a vampire, provided the companionship he so desperately needed. Helped him control the bloodlust.

If Adeline had never reappeared in his life, if she had never passed through Washington for whatever reasons, if she had not stopped to find Renesmee. Why, he thought, they might never chance to meet. He would continue his peaceful and contented life with the Cullens and Alice; and she would have continue on her merry way.

But nothing in life ever goes as planned.

The moment his eyes finally beheld her form again after centuries, he knew then. He knew then that she was the one he had been waiting for all along. Perhaps it was the way how the world seemed to have changed; how it brightened like never before. Or how alive he felt in that moment, how his dead heart almost, almost started beating again. Or how when she had left, the pain in his heart, how excruciating it had been, as if it were ready to tear itself apart. Maybe it was just the way that when she was around, every feeling that he had was intensified.

And when he felt that unknown tugging at his heart, it had all but cemented his belief.

But now that his sentiments were all but confirmed, there were other concerns that warranted his attention.

He thought back to the night they had met, rewinding and examining every little detail that he may have missed. Sure it was excruciating, but he needed more facts to pursue. He needed a plan of action to lure Adeline out of her shell, to make her at least talk to him. He didn’t think that a reconciliation was possible after her rejection, but surely some answers were long overdue.

He recalled how she had trembled at the mention of her father, how desperate she had wanted to escape from him.

Her grandmother Henriette had once told him that: there are things that are out of their control, things that are better left in the dark. Her father had needed her and what could a single unwed woman do but to comply to her parent’s wish. He had been young and rash then, had dismissed it all in a fit of fury and anguish, had chalked it up to his lack of wealth and class. But now that he thought of it, perhaps they were half truths mingled with white lies, told to protect him from a greater evil for his own sake. A tyrannical patriarch figure who was also probably a very ancient vampire.

He briefly considered just what he was getting himself into.

As he cut the line to leave the highway at the next exit, he felt another strong tug at his heart as if it were a signal that he was on the right track.

He had just passed a giant billboard that said.

Welcome to Colorado.

*

When Theodore, or simply Teddy, returned from his ‘dull and tedious tryst with his insipid chess-loving company’ as Loreen quoted, or as the man himself reiterated impatiently ‘a simple chess meeting in Denver’, he was met with a chaotic household gone rogue.

“Well aren’t you dapper, young man?” Adeline drawled from her couch she had claimed for herself, parked right in front of the TV. Sizing up the man, she took note of his wind swept black curls, the tweed blazer and the crisp silk shirt and the shiny black dress shoes. In turn, Teddy was also eyeing his sister intently.

“Is that my bathrobe?” The finely-dressed man asked incredulous, one hand on his hips, the other pointing accusingly at the former.

“What?!” Adeline defended, refusing to budge from her position. “You have grand taste. And it’s comfy.”

“And is that my Rockies t-shirt?”

“So it seems to be.” Adeline shrugged nonchalantly.

“Anakin! She’s even drinking my wine now! And she’s gone through my entire chocolate stash!”

“Oh go bother someone else won’t you!” Was Anakin’s annoyed reply.

But as Loreen had put it, Teddy was a good soul and all was forgiven soon enough with peace restored within the makeshift family.

Yet underneath the calm lurked a quiet unease.

The family was quick to notice, the listlessness and jitteriness Adeline was emanating. The more they tried to press her, the more withdrawn she grew, refusing to divulge in whatever she had hidden.

For Adeline, she had thought she was seeking safety and shelter among her half-siblings, but in confinement she was growing evermore restless. She stubbornly ignored the void in her heart, a strong reminder that an essential part of her was missing from her life. One she had all but forgotten until the fateful run in. Instead she paced the halls all through the nights, had taken to drinking coffee at night and wine in the morning. And when she rested, sleep was always fitful, plagued by strange dreams and nightmares and long-forgotten memories.

Her intuition was never wrong, it was the only gift she could fall back on in times of crises. And right now, she could taste it in the air, hear it in the wind. Something was about to happen, a reckoning of sorts she was sure, and here she was waiting for a sign.

Adeline downed another flask of coffee as she sat in the chill with a simple blanket to keep herself warm. The stars were out and she was studying them as they moved across the late evening sky.

She desperately needed a sign. This state of limbo was slowing driving her insane. She needed a way out, an escape.

“Hey.”

“Hey you.” She didn’t need to turn, she knew only one person who would be brave enough to disturb her in her reverie.

Teddy gently sat down beside her. “You’re not sleeping.”

“I can’t.” Adeline frowned and rubbed her face, exhaustion evident in her system.

“Well all that caffeine isn’t helping.” Her half brother smile and pointed at the flask in her lap.

“Well, I don’t want to sleep.” Adeline retorted with more bite than was needed.

“Adeline.” Theo admonished softly.

She shot him a warning look, though the corners of lips were slightly upturned good-naturedly. “Teddy.”

Teddy bless his soul, always the same kindhearted and gentle soul that he was. Loreen might call his person boring, but Adeline liked how he was always constant and steadfast… like an evergreen. There was a reason why he had always been her favourite out of all her siblings, not even her history with Anakin could beat this. For him, she would shield him from every hurt, every danger; and sometimes she wondered if she had done all that was good for him. If she had done right by him while raising him to be the man he was today.

“Well? What is it that you want to ask then?” Adeline rested her head on her knees and gestured for Teddy to voice his concerns.

He studied her intently for a second, as if finding the right word to begin with. “Something’s happened. Anakin tells me you were in a pretty bad state when you came but he wouldn’t divulge further said you didn’t tell him as well.”

“So I didn’t.”

“Well you can tell me. You know I’m your most trusted confidant.”

Adeline had to laugh at that. “Yes you are, my beloved brother.”

An easy silence enveloped the two as they sat shoulders touching, head tilted towards the open galaxy. This was the only thing she ever missed, in between running around the country, and hiding away from her father. This heartfelt connection with the only few people with whom she could be herself; a permanent residence, a pillow under her head at night. She had given up something similar, years ago when she was still young and naive, and very much in love, desperately so.

Now, she didn’t let herself dream on.

“Do you... do you remember New York?” Adeline dug her fingers into the wet earth, the dampness of the earth filling her nostrils immediately. “Do you remember Harlem, 1921?”

“That night when you drunk the entire club under the table?” Teddy turned to eye her carefully, even after all these years, he was still sensitive about that little fiasco she had pulled to spite their father, and probably to spite herself too. “Yeah I remember that night.”

Adeline kept her head down, her hand playing absentmindedly with the loose soil. “Do you remember when you asked me don’t you have any regrets in life?”

“And you had said yes, more than you will ever know.”

“Well…” There was a catch in her throat now and she swallowed hard to speak. “Do you have any regrets yourself Ted? Just something… anything.”

Teddy frowned as he contemplated the question Adeline had raised. But then she didn't think he had any; moralistic Teddy, gentle Teddy, worry-wart Teddy, he had too much foresight to let himself make grave mistakes like she did. “Nothing major really. Although… there is a place my mind always goes back to…”

“Which is?”

“The little diner in Philly, 1948.” The brunette hesitated, stealing a sidelong glance at his sister before continuing. “The one you were adamant we left immediately. I always thought that there was something… someone waiting for me there… and I always wonder what I would’ve find there if we had gone in.”

“Our ultimate demise probably.” Adeline shrugged.

“And why are we talking about regrets now?”

She hummed in response, turning to give her brother a tired smile. “Because, it seems my biggest regret has decided to return now to haunt me, out of vengeance.”

*

Jasper pulled into the local inn parking lot, killing the ignition as he did.

Georgetown Mountain Inn.

The modest sign glowed in the dark night.

He had circled round the interstate for a day and a half, and then into Denver city, letting his newfound instinct guide him on his search. And it had ultimately lead him to this quaint historical mining town just west of Denver.

He breathed in the fresh alpine air.

This felt just about right.

Or so he thought.

“Ruelle? Never heard the name young man if I might say so myself. You looking for someone?”

The innkeeper shook his head at his inquiries the next day. Georgetown was only a small town after all. If it’s residents had never heard of the name, then the chances of finding a Ruelle in the town was close to slim. Distracted, the man had then turned back to the phone call he was on, entirely unaware of the subtle shift in emotion of his customer.

“Marie. You got the van out? I phoned up the Emersons last night. Anakin says he’ll be round before 11 to take a look at it. Afterwards he’s got business with Ted down in Denver that’ll keep him there for a week. Ask Jim to hurry over will ya?”

The innkeeper was still on the phone when Jasper turned to leave.

“Who’s looking after Loreen? Heard they got family staying over for a while to look after the kiddo. Beats me Marie... I’m sure they’ve still got good folks in the family.”

Without a plan or even a clue, Jasper decided to cruise round town and then up the lake to take his mind off Adeline. Even if the disappointment was slowly eating at him; he had been so sure of himself, but now doubt was settling in. Perhaps he had been mistaken indeed, everything was only a figment of his imagination, wishful thinking on his part. But then again, no sane person on the run would think to use their real name, no? He reasoned with himself. He knew he wouldn’t, and he didn’t think Adeline was stupid enough to do the same. So not all hope was lost yet.

Up ahead, his line of sight fell on a quaint little house nestled within the mountainous terrain overlooking the lake.

Casually pulling into the drive; he was just able to catch a pair of brothers heading out. One was much tanner than the other and though neither looked quite related to the other, but there was a little something that made him believed that they were related. The elder was fixing up the jeep parked on the driveway while the younger one was lingering at the door, taking to someone inside the house.

He recalled the phone call his innkeeper had made that morning.

Jasper strained his ears to listen to their conversation while pretending to make a u-turn at the end of the drive.

“You sure you don’t want one of us to stay with you Ad?”

“I’ll be fine Teddy, just go. Don’t let your students down. They’ll be waiting for you.”

“Grandmaster.” A little girl, one he had missed before, chimed cheekily.

But the man, Teddy, was still unconvinced. “You still haven’t told me what’s troubling you Ad.”

“I’ll think about it.” The woman in the house replied.

“You’re still jittery.”

“It’s the caffeine.”

“Ad-”

“Bruh you coming or what?” The elder by the car shouted back towards the house.

“This isn’t over.” The younger man muttered before scrambling down the terrace towards the jeep.

There was a ringing in Jasper’s ears as he leaned forward in his seat to catch a glimpse of the woman who turned to usher the child back into the house before closing the front door.

Elsewhere.

Adeline ran as fast as she could, her chaser right at her heels as she darted into the woods. Rain pelting heavily, the moon hidden behind clouds, the woods seemed darker than usual.

To make matters worse, she was slowing down. She had been starving herself greatly recently, in a self-loathing attempt and now she deeply regretted her foolish decision. As if it wasn’t enough she was having trouble controlling her hunger, now she was being chased down by an unknown assailant, vampire. She ignored the constant tugging at her heart again, begging her to stop, to turn around and just look at her chaser.

It occurred to her then that this person was the same one who was at Whitehorse. Judging from the female vampire that had approached her just now in the bar, someone or some persons were interested in her. It might not even be her father. But bullshit, she wasn’t going to let this unknown stranger get to her. Nor was she going to let them ruin her peace of mind she had fought to safeguard for decades now. She needed a plan, and she needed it fast.

There was a clearing just a few miles south, if she could just make it there…! Pushing her limits, she ducked under a pine and concealed herself into the night, mindful not to tread on anything that might give her away. Circled the perimeter and watched as the man who had been chasing her stopped in the clearing, apparently confused that he had lost her track somehow.

Now-

Blood pumping, she darted out and aimed for the jugular. Her hand clasped onto the man’s neck in a death grip and pushed him up into a tree.

“Who are you and what do you want from me?” Adeline hissed. The man, blonde she noted, made no move to subdue or even try to escape her clutches. His face was still partially hidden under his hair, but she was aware of his amber orbs observing her behind his curtain of hair. Neither did she miss the scars, multiple healed bite wounds littered across his porcelain neck and clavicles, screaming danger. Her heart hammering in her chest now, a tidal wave of anxiety washed over her and an eerie sense of foreboding was looming overhead. Her mind was trying to make a connection, something about this man just… But the anxiety got to her again and she tightened her grip over his neck even harder.

It occurred to her then that the man’s companion was also nowhere to be found. Was this a trap after all?

“Answer me.” She growled impatiently. “Who are you? Why are you after me? Where is your companion?!”

Yet he only remained mum. This only further enraged her.

“Speak or I’ll rip your pretty head off of its rightful place.”

“Just like how you ripped my heart out all those years ago?”

Momentarily Adeline was caught confused by the man’s reply, until he looked up and the dim moonlight casted shadows on his smooth marble like face. Adeline gasped, dropping her arm and taking a step back. A chill ran up her spine and grasped painfully onto her heart, tightening; just as her mind roared, losing its usual powers of logics and deduction.

“Jasper?”

*

Back at the parking lot, Jasper had suddenly felt a breeze, a sliver of a shadow passing by, and then the strongest urge he had ever had to run after the shadow. Unknowingly, he had let the urge overtook his actions; until he saw Adeline materialising out of thin air, running at top speed a few yards before him did he finally realised what had happened.

He had chased on then, close on her tail.

And now he watched, somewhat in fascination, at the myriad of emotions that ran through Adeline’s eyes in that instant. Shock and disbelief gave way to confusion, then guilt and grief. He’d forgotten just how expressive she can be at times and how he could read her like an open book.

Except it was his Adeline. His sweet Adeline.

There was no mistaking on his part. She had not aged a single day. Her hair was shorter now, but her countenance, and those expressive cornflower eyes they were the same, fresh from his memory. There was no doubt in it. Now that his vision was so much better, he could even notice features on her face that he would have missed as a human. And yes, he could also smell her sweet hybrid scent, so similar to Renesmee’s yet also different in it’s own way. Oh how his cold dead heart felt, ready to burst, he had never felt so alive since his transformation. Perhaps he shouldn’t be too hasty in accepting this hybrid thing, but it would explain so much of her past actions. And it would also explain so well how they were seeing each other right there and now. And more than anything, he was just… feeling all kinds of emotions now that she was here again. Joy and shock at the prospect of reunion, apprehension and nausea at how events would unfold. But mostly he felt a deep inner relief and serenity for the first time in years. One he did not know that he had been missing until beholding her again for the first time in centuries.

She was the missing piece he had been seeking unknowingly all these years.

He had meant to step forward, to embrace her, to touch her, anything, something just to confirm her presence right in front of his eyes. To hold onto her, to make sure that she wouldn’t just disappear again into thin air again.

But even as he pondered on his actions, those haunting orbs were now settling to something between fear and distrust.

Adeline, her hand trembling against her lips, was slowly backing away as she tried to process the events that had transpired; unsettled, she did not even notice that she had backed herself into the trunk of another tree.

“What sick joke is this?” She finally let out a shaky laugh. Her eyes darting everywhere but him.

With a sinking heart, Jasper swallowed harshly, his throat dry. He’d run through this in his head for uncountable times now. A simulation of their reunion, heartfelt exchanges and eager embraces, passionate declarations; or cold-hearted refusals and further blows to his heart. But nothing like this, not this deer-in-the-headlight shakiness, blatant denial, this refusal of even a simple acknowledgement.

“Adeline it’s me. It’s your Jasper.” He finally breathed, closing the distance. Reaching out a finger to twine her stray locks behind her ear, before leaning in to take a whiff of her floral scent.“It’s Jasper.” He repeated like a broken record.

“No… that’s not possible…” She murmured to herself, frozen in place by shock. Until fear flashed in her eyes again and she jerked away as if she had been electrified.

“What power do you possess? Did Father send you to lure me back?” She swallowed in alarm and closed her eyes, her cornflower orbs filled with unshed tears and undisguised fear.

“Adeline?”

“Please, I’ll go, willingly. Please… just stop what you’re doing, stop messing with my mind will you?” She continued to implore, on the verge of tears. “Stop this. I’ll go mad if you don’t.”

His heart almost broke again at her desperation, her pleads weighing heavily on him.

“No Adeline, darling. It really is me.” He whispered, cupping her face gently to catch her attention.

“No, you died all those years ago. In 1863.” Adeline shook her head furiously, as if every word was a bodily pain inflicted on her part. “I saw the stone, Mrs Whitlock told me so.”

“No, no.” Why couldn’t she just see him for what he was? Why was she so adamant on disproving his entire existence? “I was turned, I was found by a coven of vampires and turned.”

“I don’t believe you.” She finally looked him in the eye and he could see the determination behind, the determination to reject his being altogether as nothing more than a illusion of hers, put into her mind as some cruel joke.

His insides raged then, why couldn’t she see the obvious? He did not come so close to her only to lose her again! Not this time!

“So I will go. I will not shackle you to a life of secrets and miseries. Nor will I bind you to eternal gloom and slaughter your happiness, take your sun and hide your moon.” He recited in a sudden outburst of spite. “Just know that, in another life where I was free of lies and deceit, I would move heaven and earth just to stay alongside you.”

Adeline gasped audibly, her eyes grew big as saucers, and a tear glided down her cheek. Her lips trembled and he could feel the turmoil and shock in her. He could practically hear the whirling of the cogs in her brain moving, as she finally put two and two together. Her eyes darted frantically, as the truth dawned on her.

“This can’t be.” She finally let out a hysterical laugh and muttered weakly, backing up shakily and holding onto a branch for support. “This is impossible.”

“It’s the truth, darling. I-”

“No!” She screamed with all her might. “No.” She mumbled again raking a hand through her curls roughly and shaking her head in denial, even as tears were streaming freely down her face now. “You died… you died…”

“Adeline…”

“I have to go.” She muttered to no one in particular. “I can’t, I can’t, this can’t happen, this shouldn’t have happened…My fault, my fault. I shouldn’t have… shouldn’t have…”

“Adeline!” He reached for her then, to stop her, to pull her out of her panic.

“Don’t touch me!” She screamed, slapping his hand away. “Don’t…” Adeline chewed on her lips and swallowed nervously, before looking at Jasper, her eyes a sea of emotions and anguish. “Don’t try to find me ever again.”

Without so much as a backward glance, Adeline bolted in the opposite direction with lightning speed and melted into the night.

Left alone in the open, Jasper clenched and unclenched his fists. This was not what he had anticipated, in fact the worst had happened. There was a new agony in his heart, a heaviness weighing on him. Could broken hearts break a second time? If so, his had died a second time today. He could make chase, to corner her, to confront her; but was her blatant rejection not evident enough? Did she need to spell it out in black and white for him?

Letting out a heart-wrenching howl, Jasper dropped to his knees. His eyes were burning like coals but no tears would ever fall out, unlike her. He had lost that ability all those years ago, oh but how he wished he could cry now! To let release any, even the slightest of his unsurmountable grief.

But he could not.

Why couldn’t things stayed the way it had been back in Texas? If she had been a simple dressmaker, if he had never joined the army; they would have married, settled down, had a children or two and grew to see each other old. Buried together in the local cemetery, side by side and that would have been it.

Life was so so cruel.

He punched his fists repeatedly into the ground out of frustration.

Until he felt the strangest sensation.

A pull. There was a strange pull at his heart; tugging at his heartstrings, urging him on in the direction Adeline had just disappeared into.

Jasper stood up slowly, gauging at this new sensation.

It was as if an invisible pathway had just opened for him. There was a new lightness in his heart now. A giddiness at what he had just discovered.

And he thought that finally he understood what this all meant now.

*

This couldn’t be happening.

It was impossible!

Surely he was an imposter?! Her Jasper! Her Jasper had been dead for more than a hundred years, he couldn’t possibly have came back from the dead? And to become a vampire of all things?

A vampire? God forbid, that would mean that someone had changed him!

But she recalled his topaz eyes that shone eerily in the moonlight, the icy cold skin that had cupped her face so lovingly, that marble smooth and hard skin, the bite marks littered all over his neck. Literally nothing about him screamed human; those were the features of a top predator.

Was this some form of joke the universe was having on her? Her Jasper alive all this time? An immortal not unlike her, but stronger and more lethal?

No! No! No! No! She’d left this hole years ago. She wasn’t going to dig herself into another hole now! It couldn’t have been him! Dead as a door nail he was. She’d seen his grave, she was there.

Though no one ever recovered his body. A treacherous voice whispered in the back of her mind. And anyhow what was that line that he had recited then? It was word for word from the letter she had written to him all those years ago. No one other than himself could have read it.

Her treacherous mind continued to drift into dangerous territory, and though she tried to steer it away, the barriers were all but down now.

She’d rather it had been a stormy night. That thunder and the rain, they would have distracted her from her thoughts. But no.

The moon was a beacon hung against a starless backdrop, and through the half parted curtains, the clear moonlight filtered in, illuminating every feature of his in a white halo. Everything was so calm, so peaceful, in comparison to the raging storm within her.

She’d never stare into those warm brown eyes again, never run her hands through his thick golden curls, never feel his chuckle rumbling deep in his chest or his beating heart on her palm-

“Darlin’?” Jasper’s lashes fluttered, he had sensed her uneasiness somehow and was struggling to rise from his slumber.

“It is nothing darling.” She murmured before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, relishing in his strong embrace one last time. “It was only a dream.”

He grunted and soon his breathing was even again.

With his handsome face and his wits and charm, he’d be able to rise up in the ranks, and get a fine rich Southern Belle for a wife quick enough.

Father’s threats were still fresh in her mind.

Better this than a mangled body, six inch deep in the ground.

Better leave now when he still loved her, than when he learnt of the truth, the ugly horrible truth.

Every move was another battle. How she withdrew herself from his arms, how she struggled not to sob or to crawl back into bed and confess every little sin she had committed. To stay for another day, for him to tell her that everything would be alright for another day. How her heart broke to leave the ring on the dresser and the heartless note she had written.

One final kiss to his forehead because she couldn’t bear to turn back a second time for she was sure that she would lose her resolve and strength to leave him.

But another day would become another week, another month, another year. What then when Father returned for her? Or when he realised that his wife had not aged a single day since she turned 17?

Better this farewell now. Better to look back with love and fondness and regret, than to let it be corrupted by hate and disgust or worse… blood.

Tomorrow he will wake and she will be gone. And when the time is just right, he will forget her, he will move on, fight the war, get married, grow old. All men do, the world must go on. And only she will be stuck in time, reminiscing the past through rose tinted lenses.

It was alright so long as he lived. She would live with this pain. She would bear this petit mort.

Every. Single. Time.

Until there was nothing more left of her heart.

Was this all for naught then in the end?

Was there no need for to leave him then? Or was his death inevitable regardless of what she did? Was it something that she had done? Something she had miscalculated?

Was he even Jasper to begin with?

She needed to be somewhere, anywhere other than being alone with her thoughts. And as the little house at the end of the lane grew bigger, only then did she realise where her subconscious had lead her to.

“Adeline?”

Standing at the doorway was her half brother, Anakin, smoking. Jet black hair pulled back into a ponytail, tanned torso bare displaying all his tribal tattoos. His black eyes held surprise as he eyed her carefully.

“I didn’t think I would see the likes of you for the next few years.”

“Change of plans Anakin. Is Father here?”

“It’s only me and the tyke; you know me and the old man can never stay in the same room long before ripping each other throats.” Anakin snorted before flicking his cigarette butt away. “But Ad are you alright? You look awful and you’re shaking so badly; and you’re soaked through and muddy. What happened, Ad?”

“Nothing.” She mumbled. “Just invite me in for a bath will ya.” Though now that he mentioned it, she was feeling kind of faint. Intending to push her way in, Adeline stumbled instead and Anakin was by her side in a flash, supporting her.

“Shit you’re weak. When was the last time you even fed Ad?”

“Addieeeeeeeeeeee.” From within the house, a shrill cry sounded. It was followed by loud footsteps and a young girl of 7 or 8 bounded straight into the foyer; her features were Asian, soft brown eyes and straight dark hair. And a sunny smile on her face. “You came!”

“Hey Loreen.” Adeline tried to smile and felt another wave of nausea.

“Lorie be a good sport and run the bath will you? Addie needs a good bath and rest after her long journey.”

The child straightened her back immediately, sensing the edge in Anakin’s voice and the urgency of the matter. “Alright.” She chirped and turned to go into the bathroom.

“I see you’ve both been well.” Adeline remarked offhandedly, to which Anakin rolled his eyes.

“Bath and get changed. I’ll go get you some blood.” Anakin sighed eyeing his dirty sister. “And take those shoes off, I don’t want you trekking mud into the house. I just cleaned the floor this morning.”

Adeline pulled at his sleeve before he could turn to leave.

“Anakin thanks.”

The frown line over his faced softened and Anakin smiled a lopsided smile.

“Well what are family for?”

“Welcome to Northern Lights Resort and Spa, how may I help you?” Adeline smiled as she welcomed the next set of guests at the front lobby.

She’d moved to Whitehorse where the city was permanently covered with white snow and blanketed by the night sky more than half of the day. Found a part time job at the local resort, rented a run-down flat in downtown. It was cold and dark and it was everything she needed and loved.

Depression always did look good on her, as Tatiana would say.

But Tatiana would not think to find her here, nor Father, or anyone else for the matter. And she was safe, free to wallow in self pity and self loathing; free to ruminate on every last regret she had.

Thursday nights were reserved for movie nights; the local cinema showed sepia movies every Thursday nights, and it was nostalgic to see Audrey Hepburn and Elizabeth Taylor and all those stars again on the big screen, she was always addicted to the motion pictures back then.

She even managed to keep a fling on the side. A young college boy with golden curls, though his eyes were not quite the right shade of brown, his were too dark. And she wished he wouldn’t talk so much of his self absorbed art pieces, she’d rather he talked about the literature he should be reading instead. She’d picked a copy of Frankenstein from the local book store again, and he’d only given it a side glance and never returned to it again. But he was a warm embrace in the dead of the night, so she guess she’ll let it pass for now.

Other nights though, she would walk out alone in the reserves, hunting, mesmerised by the Northern Lights, solar winds from the sun meeting this earth’s atmosphere, deflected by the earth's magnetism to become polar lights that twist on itself to form an array of colours. It made her feel small, reminded her that she did not mattered, that nothing mattered.

“Your rooms are on the fifth floor, the lift is just past the lobby on the right. Please enjoy your stay here.” Adeline recited her lines, directing her guests on their right way.

It wasn’t much really, but mundane was good, habits made her feel safe. She’d managed to carve out a little safe haven for herself in this gigantic world.

It was enough for now.

Until she felt the strangest sensation in her chest. It had begun as a dull ache, so insidious she did not notice when it first started. Not long after, the pain began to come in waves, crashing, clenching at her heart so painfully she was starting to sweat. Adeline clawed at her chest. Mumbling an apology, she quickly ran to the back and folded into herself, sweating dropping down her brow as she tried to make the pain go away.

It didn’t feel so much as a physical pain. Nor was it the usual warnings that her instinct whispered. No, it was something else, something more emotional, something more primal.

What was happening?

It felt as if she was reminded of all the things she had lost in her entire existence, all the grief she could not hold. But there was another sharp tug at her heart, urging her to move in some unknown direction, lest she should regret.

The feeling only seemed to intensify as the seconds passed. And then she knew.

It was coming towards her. Whatever it was that her heart sought.

Just as the doors to the resort opened-

Adeline Ruelle did the only thing she was good at.

She ran.

In the exact opposite direction.

*

It took them quite a while to even figure out in which direction she had gone. It had taken Alice an even lengthier time to pinpoint which area she might be, scouring all her visions for a single blindspot. It was near impossible.

Jasper’s anxiety was quickly infecting the whole household; everyone could feel the tension in the air, electrifying. Edward and Bella had to take Renesmee to stay in their little cottage; even Emmett had been quiet for most of the days. Jasper mostly kept to himself in his room, oscillating between two extremes, bouncing on the balls of his feet and sitting hunched in the corner, frozen in his thoughts.

“North.” Alice had finally muttered on the tenth day. “Canada.”

From there on, it was another few weeks before the pair managed to locate their target working in a resort in Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada. Tracking her scent, and where the blindspots were appearing, but even that proved difficult. And by the time they had arrived, she had been gone.

Just gone. Her colleagues had no way of knowing where she had suddenly vanished to in the middle of her shift.

They did, however, managed to locate her little flat in downtown.

And possibly a fling or two.

Jasper had simply looked on in distaste at the man, never uttering a single word. Alice was left with the questions.

How long had they known each other? What did she tell him of herself? Did he have any clue where she might go next? On and on and on, which they gleaned pretty much close to nothing for the college boy. Jasper had simply rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands petulantly into his pockets.

Alice though, she did not miss the resemblance the man had with Jasper.

Then they had gone into the flat she had rented. Clearly she had been there before, hastily packing her, possibly, few possessions with her. Except one or two mass paperbacks she had evidently bought to pass time.

Alice watched as Jasper lingered on the little paperback edition of Frankenstein carelessly strewn over the coffee table. Watched as he fingered the cover of the book thoughtfully, then leafed through the pages of the book. When he caught her staring he merely shrugged.

“It was always her favourite.”

She did not miss it when Jasper quietly tucked the book into the pocket of his jacket.

*

“I do know that for the sympathy of one living being. I would make peace with all. I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.”

“That’s a little too morbid, wouldn’t you say so darling?”

“On the contrary, I find it exceedingly accurate and befitting.”

“Come now.” He chuckled good-naturedly. “You are not a monster, darlin’.”

“And who’s to say I am not?” She challenged with steel in her eyes.

“Adeline.” He admonished softly, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. “You could never be one.”

“And how would you know? Perhaps it is because I hide my fiendish side behind a mask so masterfully that I have deceived the world, and even you.” She hated the shrillness in her voice, the desperation she tried to conceal.

“Sweetheart, only my heart cannot deceive me. You have bared your heart and soul to me and I have seen, have felt the kindness and love overflowing from your heart. How could a monster possess of such?”

“And if I had committed crimes in my past?”

“Then I know with confidence that it was not out of ill intent on your part.”

“You are too kind, Jasper.”

“Am I now? Come let us read something sweeter darling.”

Adeline pouted. “You know it is only my favourite.”

“And I do not understand your morbid fascination of it.”

Adeline huffed in annoyance and Jasper laughed poking her in the cheek. “That being said.”

“The monster was never truly the monster Adeline. It was always Frankenstein. Remember when he said ‘Life, although it may be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it.’”

“He loved life more than anyone else, he possessed the gentlest soul and a deep appreciation to life like no other. He deserved to live, to be loved more than anyone else.”

Adeline blinked in shock at Jasper’s passionate outburst and before she realised, a single tear had rolled down her cheek.

“Adeline?”

She leaned forward and to capture him in a passionate kiss.

*

Adeline awoke with a start. Turning away from the blinding sun, she rubbed her eyes blearily. What time was it even?

Certainly not the 1800s.

Misplaced memories. Huh.

Adeline tried not to let her mind wander back to her dream just now, and certainly not the man of her dream.

It was close to three months after that incident at Whitehorse, She was in Minnesota now, surely no one would think to look for her here. It wasn’t New York or Chicago or Seattle. Nowhere conspicuous, middle of the line, your average American midwestern state. Surely that would provide for some camouflage or something?

No matter.

She had far troubling things to be concerned of right now.

She had been going over it time and again since her flight. The incident at Whitehorse was strange really because in all her existence, she had never once felt that before, the strange pull at her heart. The ache in her chest.

Or not?

Something was goading at her in the back of her mind, to examine the incident closer, to remind her of certain memories she would rather not remember; but she refused to let anything surface.

She picked up her new copy of Fitzgerald - Tender is the Night.

She had a shift at the local bar in three hours. She was determined to be their on time and not go down some damned rabbit hole.

*

“It’s here.” Alice looked to Jasper as he took in the environment, the rain falling softly beside them in the chilly January night; the lights from the bar, the cheap building. She hadn’t yet met the girl, but Adeline sure did know how to blend in, finding the most ordinary of places to hide amongst humans. Places not too obvious, but also not too obscure, where no one would bother to look twice, or even think to look.

Jasper’s face was grim and his eyes set. He was radiating anxiety, probably without meaning to. She gently patted Jasper on the back to soothe him.

“It’s alright, I’ll go in first. You wait here for my signal.”

He only nodded.

Ducking into the threshold she was immediately assaulted by the barrage of lights and noise; it took Alice a few minutes before she caught sight of a head of brown curls at the bar table chatting with her fellow bar tenders, all the while cleaning glasses. She made a beeline for it.

“Adeline Ruelle?”

The girl turned towards her and assumed a businesslike front, ready to serve. But Alice did not miss the small tremor in her shoulders, the uncomfortable shift in position, subtle and quick as it may be.

Bingo.

She was evidently a master in concealing her emotions, her nervousness hidden behind a reassuring smile, anyone would have been fooled. Except Alice. She watched the bartender closely.

“I’m sorry Miss, we don’t have an Adeline here. I’m Cordelia, perhaps I can get you a drink first while you wait for your friend?”

“Bourbon, if you would be so kind.”

“Just a minute.” She turned to get the drink and Alice took her time to appraise the girl.

She really was beautiful. Alice thought. She might be posing as your ordinary college student/part time bartender, but the way she held herself, her grace and poise, it was something she could never lose even on purpose. And the breathtaking beauty, she stuck out like a sore thumb.

It was no wonder Jasper had loved her so completely, irrevocably in his past life. How could any man resist such an alluring woman? She could not be mad at Jasper for his choices in his past life; and judging by his recounts and the hardworking girl right in front of her, neither had anticipated the whirlwind of romance and the subsequent breakup when they first met. In fact she might just be a tad bit jealous of the bond they shared, she’d never in her life experienced something so strong and consuming. Sure she loved Jasper and no one could deny the love that they shared. But it paled in comparison to one the two shared. She was almost sure they were mates.

It still left her heartbroken all the same.

But then she remembered the first time she met Jasper; we’re not mates but if you would have me we could keep each other company until our mates showed up. I mean, two is always better than one right? It left her conflicted now; she was reaping what she had sowed.

Yet as Alice continued to observe the girl closely, she noted how her coworkers seemed to treat her as if she was just any normal college student. Talking to her, bantering lightly, she threw her head and laughed heartily. To them, She was just the right amount of charismatic it seemed. And her smell…

It was then she realised she did not catch ahold of her scent.

Had she concealed it? Could one even do so on voluntary grounds?

“Your bourbon miss.” Adeline returned, sliding a small glass across the bar table.

“So what brings you here, to Minnesota?” Alice decided to make a strike.

The bartender’s face twitched momentarily. “Pardon?”

“You don’t seem like you're from around here. You don’t look like it.”

“I mean, It’s a free country. Anyone can go anywhere really.” Adeline shrugged.

“Lemme guess.” Alice pretended to think all the while observing the other closely. “You’re from the South, aren't you? Like Louisiana, or Texas.”

“I’ve lived there, yes… but then again I’ve lived almost everywhere really.” The bartended shot her a tight-lipped smile, the stiffness in her posture even more profound now. “Well if you need anything just give me a holler will you? I hope your friend finds you soon.”

It was her.

Alice watched as she turned to smile at her coworkers and then ducked into the kitchen.

She was making her escape.

Well, they can't let her go that easily now can they?

Alice raced out of the bar immediately, searching for her companion outside the parking lot.

“I’m telling you, she’s just like me.” Renesmee pouted as she rode on Jacob’s strong sturdy back. The wolf only snorted. “It’s true!” Renesmee pouted even more at Jacob’s snort. “Here let me show you.”

Warm and tender hands cupped her face, a relaxing floral scent mixed with the smell of damp earth, steel blue eyes that sparkled in the sun and the daisies and leaves braided into chocolate tresses. “You must take care, Child.”

Jacob grunted in response.

“See, she’s a sweet lady who was just passing by. And the lot of you scared her away!”

“There’s not many like you out there, Renesmee.” Edward sighed. “We couldn’t be too careful now. The Volturi may have given up last time, but there’s no saying when they’ll be back. Or if this lady was not here for some unknown reason to hurt you intentionally-“

“Daddy!”

“And how would you explain her appearance so suddenly?”

“We found each other!” Renesmee exclaimed in excitement. “It was destiny!”

“Now you’re just sounding like your Aunt Alice.” Edward chuckled.

“Mommy.” Renesmee turned to Bella then. “When do you reckon I’ll see Adeline again?”

Bella titled her head slight and pretended to give it some thought. “Maybe when she’s ready? I’m sure she’ll come see you again if she means to.”

“There’s so much I want to show her and talk to her with.” Renesmee sighed with longing, her little heart beating even faster in excitement at the potential of gaining a new friend. Especially a hybrid like her! “I want to see again already.”

Edward and Bella shared a cautious look.

“I’m sure you will soon enough.”

“Tell us about that kind lady-”

“Adeline.”

“Tell us about Adeline again.” Carlise smiled encouragingly at Renesmee as she stretched out her hand towards him.

Renesmee was alone in the clearing, twirling around giggling at the fluttering butterflies around her. She knew she was safe, her family was around hunting, and Jacob was nearby. There really was no reason to be afraid. It was then when she heard a soft whispered from behind. Panicking she spun around on her heels, ready to call for her family. But the sight that greeted her set her into complete shock.

Standing at the edge was a woman, young and beautiful, heartbreakingly so, probably the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen. Rosy lips parted in awe, steel blue eyes with golden flecks in the centre that somehow radiated warmth, golden freckles over the apples of her cheeks. Her chocolate brown tresses were braided on the side loosely, with daises and heathers woven into it; and that lovely fragrance, she smelt of flowers and damp earth after the rain. She could hear her quick pulse, and that glowing skin-

Renesmee gasped, making the connection at once.

She was a hybrid.

“I wonder what her motive was.” Carlisle pondered, interest piqued. “There aren’t many of her kinds out there, the only ones we do know are Nahuel and his family. And she certainly didn’t seemed to be from the same family…”

“So there could be more than even the Volturi was aware of?”

“But then what of her motive?” Esme asked. “If she had planned to visit us, she would’ve showed up right at our house. Not trying to ambush Renesmee out in the open…?”

“She could be just a nomad passing through?” Rosalie shrugged. “I mean it doesn’t happen everyday but it does happen.”

“But she kept mentioning her maker.” Edward pointed out. “You’d think she came from a large family by the way she spoke.”

“Ughh! I can’t see her at all, it’s so foggy.”

Alice sighed in annoyance and flopped on the couch next to Jasper who only smirked understandingly at her.

“It’ll come.” He smiled and rubbed her hand comfortingly.

“Perhaps we should take turns and be on guard for the next few days.” Carlisle exerted his caution nevertheless. “Renesmee show the others how Miss Adeline looks will you?”

Renesmee nodded and went around the group. It was when she came to Jasper that something happened. Jasper had grown eerily still after an audible gasp, frowning before abruptly standing, eyes shifting everywhere, fists clenched nails digging into his own skin, shoulders tense.

The room had gone quiet, Alice hoovered closely a look of worry on her face. “What is it?” She asked carefully, trying her best to conceal the worry in her voice. Even Edward had gone rigid, his face slowly morphing into shock as he registered Jasper’s inner thoughts.

“Are you certain?”

“I need… I need to…” Jasper mumbled, seemingly in a trance. Then he barged right out of the window and into the greenies at the back of the house.

“I’ll go with him.” With one last sweep, Edward darted out of the house following closely behind Jasper.

The Cullens eyed one another uncomfortably, unsure of what had just transpired in the span of five seconds. Bella reached out to squeeze Alice’s hand encouragingly, as if she unknowingly needed the strength.

Emmet laughed nervously to break the tension in the room, none the wiser.

“Old flame maybe?”

“Jasper.”

His insides was in a turmoil as Jasper raced towards the clearing; his mind a chaos and he couldn’t think straight except-

Adeline.

Could it really had been her? 150 years later? It all seemed laughably lame. How could anyone live 150 years and not age? Unless you were a Vampire then, or a hybrid apparently. But he was so sure his sweet Adeline was not. Could not be a monster like him, not even by half-

But those eyes, a cooler shade of cornflower, specks of gold that glinted in the Texan sun.

“Jasper!”

He’d run his hand through those silky tresses every day by the river as she napped with her head in his lap; and then every night in bed; secret rendezvous that would shock the entire town and disgrace their family name had they known.

Adeline Ruelle.

“Major Whitlock.” She drawled flirtatiously, voice dipped in honey, head on her shoulder as she gazed at him slyly, her loose locks tumbling down her back. Her delicate hand reached out to muss up his hair roughly. “I kind of like the sound of it.”

“Well Mrs Whitlock.” He snatched her hand and laid a single kiss over her ring finger. “Then you shall hear it again and again.”

“Jasper wait up!”

She’d leaned in to steal a kiss from his lips, and he had chased her back to bed with more.

“Jasper Whitlock wait up!”

Edward’s bellows snapped him from his reverie. Jasper turned to his brother’s concerned eyes.

“Talk to me, Jas.” He studied his brother worry permanently etched onto his features. “It’s not like you to run out of the family. Alice is worried. Everyone is worried.”

Funny, even Alice had somehow slipped out of his mind. So transfixed was he on his lost love.

“Are you very sure, Jasper?”

Jasper glared into his brother’s golden eyes. “I’ve never been more sure.”

“You’re hesitating.”

“It’s just… If you’ve ever seen her, then you’d know. You wouldn’t be able to forget her. She was the most dazzling sun in the whole of Texas. Her look, her… her eyes. And her voice. The way she holds herself.” Jasper spun around in a frenzy. “It has to be her…”

“And for her to reappear again now. She’d have to be something immortal. Like us. Is that what you want to say?”

He was at a lost of words, he had ran out the moment he saw her. But what if it wasn’t her? It had caught him by surprise, chilled him to the core that she could be out there all this time and he had not known… Had not really stopped to think of the implications of it all…

“I don’t know.” He finally muttered in defeat. “But suppose she was her or her offsprings or…” They might know more about her, what happened, perhaps finally giving him the peace of mind he needed.

“Brother.” Edward comforted. “I’m not saying we know who or what she is. All I’m saying is, you need to get a grip of yourself first. Let us help you find her, if it really is her I’m sure she’ll have no scruples to see you. Hell for all we know she could just be a doppelgänger.”

Jasper had to laugh at this, the tension lines easing slightly.

“Hell, doppelgänger?”

“Shall we trace her scent first? If she went West, she could be all the way into Seattle by now, and it sure as hell won’t be an easy task to trace her in there.”

“Edward…” Jasper stuttered, tripping over his tongue to find the right words. “I- Thank you. Thank you for everything.”

“What are families for?” Edward grinned, relived to finally see the Jasper he was used to.

*

“Come Adeline.”

“Come hold your brother,” Father beckoned towards her in the shadow of the house. “He tore through his mother’s womb just to see you.”

“No…” She wanted to run, to scream, but no word came out of her. She was stunned in her position by the blood stench.

Father walked towards her in slow deliberate step, a white bundle in his arms, thrusting it into her unwillingly arms. “Take him.”

In her arms laid a small babe.

His hair matted with dried blood and he grinned Cheshire like at her.

“Bring him out so that your sisters may see him.”

Gingerly, she stepped out of the threshold and into the twilight. Watched as her sisters danced in the pure white, each with arms around a man. And in unison, bit into their jugulars, tearing at the arteries beneath, fresh blood spurting out in fountains.

She was drenched from head to toe in crimson.

Hyperventilating.

She needed togotogotogotogotogotogo-

“Rejoice!” Father bellowed from behind, as her sisters continued to devour their chosen meal. “For the house of Elwyn welcomes a son!”

She was going to be sick.

She opened her mouth to let out a silent scream.

And scream she did.

Terribly loud.

Except she was also underwater. Choking on icy cold water. Pushing herself up from the tub, she broke the surface and gasped for air. Coughing out the residue of her nightmare.

Great just great. Of all the things she could dream of, why had she dreamt of that now?

The underwater was her sole consolation and safe place for years and even now it was invaded by her despicable dreams.

Perhaps, perhaps Adeline had been on the run for too long. She needed a habit, a set of routines, something to ease her nerves. She needed a memento, something to ground herself to on a daily basis.

Something to remind her that she was still partly human in this insanity.

1pm, downtown Vancouver.

She’d been here 20 years ago. And now she’d come on a detour to retrieve something from her past.

Stepping inside the bank quickly, she made a beeline for the counters.

Adeline smiled enthusiastically at the man behind the counter.

“Hello, I’d like to open my mother’s safe.”

“I’m sorry do you have her delegation? We don’t-”

“She died recently.” Adeline smiled again. One thing she picked up over the years was that, conversations of the dead was extremely uncomfortable and humans struggled to get out of it as soon as possible. “Tragic yeah I know. It was a freak accident. So now me and my sissy are gathering her things and for the funeral-”

“Just a moment ma’am.” The lady turned around with lightning speed. “If you could just show me her death certificate?”

“Yeah sure, here.” She slid the fake certificate she made in the library with a little glue and photocopy. Amazing what you can do with just two dollars nowadays. “Thank you!”

Half an hour later, Adeline was on the next train towards the Yukon plain.

A single silver locket hung over her throat; its cap embellished by intricate floral carvings. And as she fingered it gently, her eyes closed as she settled in her seat, a sense of peace washed over Adeline one she had not shared in for a very long time.

*

“Did you find her?” Carlisle asked when the two returned.

Jasper passed by in a huff without even so much as a greeting and went straight for his room. Everyone could feel the frustration lingering in the air; Alice immediately got up from her perch by the window and trailed after the sulking man.

Edward simply shook his head.

“So was she really an old flame of his?” Emmett chirped on the side and Rosalie whacked him right on the chest, glaring at the brunette and silently admonishing his insensitiveness.

Sharing worried glances, the Cullens each harboured their own questions in the meantime, unsure when was the right time to broach it.

“Jasper.”

“Jasper talk to me.”

Alice’s desperate pleas finally broke him from his trance. “Alice.” She was kneeling before him, face close to his, her hands hoovering, unsure where to place. Even Alice was worried about him now. His lover, the one who had been his brick and stone since their first meeting. Though they were not mates, like Bella and Edward were, they had pledged to be with each other, as long as the other was willing. But now for the first time he realised, he had not been fair to his sweet lover all these time.

Had she knowingly anticipated this? Jasper suddenly thought. Had she seen this in one of her visions? And still decided to show up in that little diner just to find him? If so Jasper held nothing but respect and love for the little pixie. Her pure heartedness, her kindness. Always giving and never asking for anything in return. And he in return had withheld this one truth from her all these years.

Speaking had never been his best forte. Tiresome as it can be, right now he needed to tell her the truth. He owed her this one truth.

Mechanically he walked into the next room with Alice by his side, and he went to open one of the safes. Producing from it a simple inlay box.

“Open it.” He nudged her gently, gestured for her to open the lid. “Look inside.”

Shooting him an amused look, Alice carefully lifted the lid and gasped. Inside was a number of mementos Jasper had harboured over the years. The largest was centred in the middle, a framed sepia portrait of a girl in a simple blouse with a modest pair of pearl earrings. Curls held in a loose half do, showing off her heart shaped face and that brilliant smile, transmitting warmth and sweetness through the portrait.

“Her name was Adeline Ruelle.”

“Well the resemblance is certainly… uncanny.” Alice murmured.

“Didn’t see that coming did you?” He had to chuckle at that.

Alice narrowed her eyes playfully and swatted his in the chest. “You know I can’t see hybrids and shapeshifters well!” No Alice wouldn’t have seen this because she would be looking at a blindspot; and he wouldn’t have thought this was possible because he’d long since accepted that his lost lover was dead. A century and a half ago.

Jasper mouth dried, figuratively, when Alice moved to take the velvet pouch next. He winced as he gently shook the pouch, tumbling the diamond ring into her ready hands.

“I… I proposed to her you know. Once, a long time ago.”

Alice trained her gaze back on her lover as he swallowed hard, ready to tell part of his truth.

“She’d moved with her Grandmama from Louisiana a year or two back, dressmakers and strictly French. We were to be wed in the Town Hall on the Summer solstice when the war was over. She could never had her gown picked because I know… she didn’t want to spend even a dime more of my money. The ring already costed me a fortune she said. She’d taken to hand sew her own dress for her wedding day with her grandmother. She was just that sweet.” Here Jasper chuckled in nostalgia, but then his eyes grew sad again. “I would’ve given her the world if I could, but I was only a Major then. And…”

“Towards Christmas, when I came home for a visit. Something had happened during my absence, she had grown distant. Always startled, by the smallest sound, a change in the wind. I thought it was only wedding nerves, but really I should’ve seen it then.” His lips tugged into a self-depreciating smile. “She could never have wanted me.”

“Stole away in the dead of the night, left only a note and her ring. Asked me to give it to another woman when I met one.”

“I just…” Jasper ran a hand through his in frustration. “How do you ask the man you supposedly loved to hand your wedding ring to another woman? Just like that?”

“You loved her with all your heart.”

“Damn right I did.”

“Oh Jasper.”

“Broke my heart, that one did. ” He whispered. Thought I could’ve gotten over her with you here. Was what was left unsaid.

Alice pursed her lips and looked away.

“What would you do if she really is the same person?”

He gave her a pointed look. “Hey it could really be a case of wrong identity, similar face, different person.”

“I…” Shifting uncomfortably, Jasper shrugged. “But if I never find her then I’ll never know.”

“You might still have your chance with her.”

“Alice…”

Suddenly he was sure of nothing anymore.

He really should hate her; here was a love built from the foundation, firm, safe, something he had known for years, depended on. Saved him even. Could he gamble all this for someone who’d broken his heart in a heartbeat all those years ago?

“The heart wants what it wants. Jasper.”

“We never promised each other anything Jasper, except that we’ll be there for each other. We’re not mates, remember?”

Of course he remembered. But you didn’t need a mate to live a good enough life, didn’t need to reopen scars that no one had interest in seeing. That the perpetrator herself may not even had an interest in to begin with.

“Alice we’re ok, we’re enough.”

Alice only smiled sadly, knowingly. Sometimes he hated that knowing look, as if she was hiding secrets from him, knew that he was destined to fail.

But then, he had been hiding secrets from her too, hadn’t he?

“It’s alright.” Alice soothed, “we’ll find her. Then we can decide from there on what to do.”